Living Single (1993–1998): Season 4, Episode 21 - One Degree of Separation - full transcript
And at exactly 19:00 hours.
Khadijah will arrive
at the designated
Chinese restaurant
with Synclaire's parents,
whom I'm referring to as.
Eagles one and two.
Regine, it's an engagement party
not "Mission Impossible."
Says you.
I gotta coordinate this thing
for 12 bucks a person
including the
Buddha beer fountain.
All I care about is that our
parents get along, Overton.
Oh, don't worry
about it, sweet pea.
Uh, I know they
didn't hit it off too well
when they spoke on the phone
but as soon as
they meet each other
they'll be closer than
pork and a pot sticker.
Than fortune in a cookie.
'Than chop and suey.'
Oh, oh. Than raw
fish on white rice.
Oh, oh, oh, wait
now. That's Japanese.
Mm‐hmm.
‐ Would you listen?
‐ That's alright.
‐ Let's do Italian. ‐
Okay, uh, cal on zone.
Uh, uh, um, Al and Pacino.
Oh, oh, that's..
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh and in a
nineties kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪
♪ You gotta fight ♪
♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Do what you want,
girlfriend cause it's your world ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Regine, how can you
still be working on that
engagement party?
You already have four
emergency evacuation plans.
Including that stupid
helicopter thing.
Oh, dear, the party is planned.
I am now cocking the spring
on a foolproof
Max and Kyle trap.
Why you still trying to find out
if those two are
getting any swerve on?
Because I feed on
drama, Khadijah.
And this is an all
you can eat buffet.
Hello, hello.
Okay, Regine, you
said it was important.
And I see that Max is involved.
So I assume we're
taking rabies shots.
If we're going to the clinic
let's get him fixed.
It shouldn't take too long.
If we're done with the
oh‐so‐clever fake bickering..
I'm doing the place
cards for the party.
Who are you bringing?
‐ I‐I don't know. ‐ Ah‐ha!
You don't know.
Because you don't have a date.
Because you two have been
seeing each other
behind my back.
Regine, I'm currently
juggling three women.
And I have not figured out
which two to let
fall into the abyss
of Kylelisness.
Buh‐bye.
Mm‐hmm.
And, uh, what's
your story, Maxine?
None of your damn business,
Inch High Private Eye.
I'm telling you, if we don't
have dates for this party.
Regine is gonna to send
out the blood hounds.
So, who are you going to take?
Maxine, if I bring a date,
it is not a question of who
it is a question of which.
With you, it's a
question of what.
You know, you
make my skin crawl.
Now, come here and kiss papa.
Get off me! Ha, ha, ha, ha.
‐ Get off me.
Stop! ‐ Ha, ha, ha.
Is the runt gone?
Yeah, she ran upstairs
yelling, "Curses! Foiled again."
Good, 'cause I need a
bogus date for this party.
And I'm not sure I can
get one of my reserves
on such short notice.
Why don't you just take Kyle?
Nobody cares whether you
guys are in a relationship.
I mean, they may mock
you, but they won't care.
We, we're not in a relationship.
We're just having sex.
Really good sex,
though. Ha, ha, ha!
‐ You're getting all freaky‐‐
‐ I know. Ha, ha. Look.
Hey, you don't have to.. Just,
just get me somebody decent.
He doesn't have to be,
"Thank you, Jesus," fine.
Take Teddy.
Come on, you know
he's sitting at home.
That pathetic stiff that
spends an hour and a half
tellin' you the history
of a paper clip?
That's him.
What's his number?
Where is Khadijah?
She was supposed to
be here with the Eagles
three and a half minutes ago.
I know what happened.
I'll tell you what happened.
Our parents met outside
and right now a James is
wrestling a Jones to the ground.
That's what
happened! I can feel it.
Oh, or maybe
they were just late.
‐ Mom, dad. ‐ Aw, you look nice.
‐ Oh, ho‐ho, hey. ‐ Ah!
Oh, everybody?
These are my parents.
She's mom, he's dad.
Overton, you're even more
handsome than your pictures.
Specially without that
three armed sweater.
Synclaire knit you.
Got a little carried away.
Well, it's a pleasure to finally
meet you, Mr. and Mrs. James.
Oh, please,
Overton, call me dad.
Or Mr. Dad, if you don't
feel comfortable yet.
Now, with the collapse
of the Ming dynasty
chopsticks were
suddenly popular again.
Except for one critical
change in their design.
Are you ready?
Ah, what, who?
The tips went from
round to square.
Oh, the old round
to square story.
Max, you're a lucky girl.
Yeah, thanks for the hook‐up.
Oh, hello, everyone.
I would like you to
meet, Lisa DeLongpre.
Hi, hi.
You look familiar.
The Secaucus Trekkie Convention.
No, more likely you've
seen her enchanting
visage on the covers of Elle
or Cosmopolitan, you know.
And, don't miss next
month's British Vogue.
I'll be sure to
wrap my fish in it.
Kyle, a word.
You stay lovely, okay?
I thought you're gonna
bring a bogus date like mine.
Not some wannabe Jet centerfold.
Lisa is an old friend who just
happened to be
free this evening.
So, um, I flew her
in from Los Angeles.
You know, I paid for everything.
You won't even give me cab fare.
Maxine, we are not
together. Remember?
To be perfectly honest,
I was kind of nervous
when I popped the question
until Synclaire said, "Oh,
oh, oh. Wait, now. Yes."
Now, I'm looking forward
to a lifetime of happiness.
Well, son, I'll tell you.
Marriage is a lot like prison.
Except, the food isn't as good
and your cellmate never changes.
Clinton, you're
just a joke machine.
And that won't work
for nobody but you.
‐ Pumpkin! ‐ Hey! Hey!
Alright, now. The
Jones' in the house.
‐ That's right! ‐ That's right!
‐ Lumpy! Is that you? ‐ Yes..
Oh, honey.
My little lump.
A‐and don't eat too many
of them Chinese dumplings.
Or you'll blow up like the
Michelin man again, Lumpy.
Yeah, well, it's good to
see you, too, Mr. Jones.
‐ Mother Jones, Mother
Jones. ‐ Oh, pretty lady.
‐ Oh, that's so
sweet. ‐ Thank you.
Oh, Father Jones, give
me some love. Oh, ha, ha.
Ooh, have you lost
weight, gained some hair?
‐ Both. ‐ Oh, my.
And I like it.
Well, here we are.
Mom, dad, I'd like
you to meet two people
I know you're gonna love.
He is an electrical contractor
who hails from Cleveland.
She's a homemaker whose hobbies
include shopping and Tai Chi.
Won't you please say hello
to Otis and Odelle Jones.
Give 'em some love.
They call this a rib?
Now, what kind of midget
pig did this come from?
Probably grazed on the same
farm they grew this baby corn.
‐ So, you're right. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
But if you wanna see
some serious meat..
You gotta come to the
next Jones family barbeque.
Alright.
Ribs bigger than my son's head.
Alright, I'm gonna take
that as a compliment.
‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ That's right.
I can bring my famous yamaloaf.
‐ Yamaloaf! ‐ Yoo!
Sounds like a
family affair to me.
Mm.
Oh, isn't this so sweet?
Feels like it's a
phone commercial.
Mm‐hmm.
Look at them.
Trying to make us think
they're dating other people
by dating other people.
Yeah, poor Kyle.
Wasting his whole night
on a Miss USA look alike
just so he could throw
salt in your game.
Alright. But what about Max?
'I mean, why did she
rummage to the bottom'
'of your reject pile
to find Wooden Boy?'
You know, Regine, if
you got paid for the time
you spend in other
people's business
you would afford
your own apartment.
Let's work on that.
Lilah, try some of
this egg foo yung.
Oh, Clinton, take that
off my plate, please.
You never try anything new.
By the time you
got off enough guts
to try a new
course, it was gone.
Why don't you eat it for me?
With your mouth
full it might muffle
some of that
nonsense I'm hearing.
Yeah, you, you all talk
about some good television.
Who saw "When animals attack"?
Ri‐right.
Whe‐whe‐when that deer
was beating on that man.
And it was just clubbing
him down with hooves.
‐ Yeah, literally. ‐
Congratulations, Lilah.
You brought a joyous
gathering to a screeching halt.
Look like somebody
ordered up some ugly in here.
I'm not the one
who's been forcing
those stupid jokes on everyone.
Lord knows, I don't miss that.
Oh, and I don't miss
your lectures on that
ab‐roller gathering
dust in the corner.
Hey, w‐what's going on?
Go ahead. Tell her, Clinton.
She has a right to know.
Your father and I are separated.
What?
Separated?
Bu‐but you all.. You
two look so together.
I'm sorry, baby.
We were going to tell
you after your wedding.
Well, how sweet.
Why, why give crystal
when a divorce is so
much more permanent?
Otis, honey, why don't we go
look at the beer
Buddha over there?
Uh, if we can see the
beer Buddha from here
why we gotta go over there?
Otis, I put up with 600
miles of your driving.
You could at least
walk 12 feet with me.
'Come on.'
Son, I gotta go look
at the beer Buddha.
And so do you.
Just delight us, come on.
What's going on with you two?
Yeah, you guys always used to
seem like the perfect couple.
All kissy, kissy and stuff.
Slow dancin' when
there wasn't any music.
And that was in church.
That was 20 years ago.
People change.
But they can change together.
Uh, look at Demi and Bruce.
They both went bald. I mean..
Your mother just tunes me out.
That's right, Clinton.
It's all my fault.
I'm the one who never
listens. Excuse me!
‐ See? ‐ Mom, don't go.
I opened my mouth, poof!
She's the Invisible Woman.
Well, two can play that game.
‐ Well, daddy, don't go. ‐
Uncle Clinton, Uncle Clinton.
I, uh..
The only argument
they ever had was
over who loved who more.
What is this?
Oh, they're still in love.
I'm sure they'll
figure this all out.
Yeah, well, your parents didn't.
Well, that's because
my parents tended to fight
over my father
forgetting to come home.
Wish there was
something I could do.
Son, this is one of them times
when you gotta let the
beaver build its own dam.
I mean, why would
they pick a time like this
to drop a big old
bomb like that?
‐ What's up with that? ‐ Yeah!
You don't hear me
talking about my bunions.
And they deserve
some conversation.
My memories go back
way before second grade.
My very first memory
was of lying in my crib.
Just, just, just lying there
not, not really awake
not really sleeping.
I can relate.
Mm... Half of my shampoo
models, they don't have hair
as lush as yours.
Uh, you know, a little genetics
a little Fro‐So Soft. Yeah.
Give me your hair.
Ooh, baby, that's hair.
Oh, now, careful.
You know my hair
is one of my many
erogenous zones.
Ow!
You can take it, big baby.
‐ Oh, yeah. ‐ Duh, enough!
Kyle, if you can
tear yourself away
from lady fingers there
I'd like to talk to you.
Well, you keep those
ten digits warm, okay?
Ey, where are they going?
Who, who, who
is this leggy chick?
Is Max paying you?
Come on, man! I want answers!
My head hurts.
Alright, so what's
the deal, Barker?
What you're trying to
prove, flying in that floozy?
Maxine, bringing
dates was your idea.
And as your escort proves,
New York's dating pool is
at the moment,
frighteningly shallow.
Admit it, you imported
that chocolate cake
to make me jealous.
I will neither confirm
nor deny that.
But the fact that you
are green with jealousy
does make me kind of giddy.
I am not jealous.
It just burns me the freak up
to see you with that woman.
Now, Maxine, you say that again
and listen to yourself.
Admit it. You like me.
Not as much as
you like yourself.
Well, that's a start.
Mm, Kyle, I mean
what good it would do
to admit such a thing?
Because, then I wouldn't see you
as the troll under
the bridge of truth.
More like the brave Billy
Goat walking across it.
Come on, Maxine.
Unburden your soul.
‐ Rrrrr. ‐ Alright, shut up.
All these years of
on again, off again
and sticking around,
you've grown on me.
And in some ways, a lot
of ways, you're my equal.
And although I'm not
entirely comfortable with that
that's just who I am.
There!
I said it.
And that was quite an admission.
I just wish I knew
what it meant.
Oh, hell, man.
I like you.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Uh, Maxine. Now,
was that so hard?
Darling, come here. Yeah.
‐ It's true. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ I like you. ‐ Mm.
And sometimes I think I‐‐
And get the hell away from me!
I hate that woman.
Hey, baby. How you doin'?
Obie..
Oh.
If my parent's marriage
can break up, anybody's can.
Even ours.
What's the point of
jumping the broom
if it's just gonna
end up like this?
That's it.
All James' report to
the foyer, immediately!
I'm mopping up this mess
right here and right now.
‐ You hear me? ‐
What are you gonna do?
No, you'll see. You‐‐.
Did you say "Jones'" pumpkin?
‐ No, mama, I said James'. ‐ Oh.
We're going to
have a little meeting.
And if it's about the two bucks
for the cool check,
it's about time.
Overton, if this is about
Mrs. James and me
this is between
Mrs. James and me.
No, this is not about you.
My girl is having
doubts about us now.
Honey, it's perfectly natural
to have second thoughts.
Lord knows I should have.
Oh, look who found
her funny bone.
Wait a minute, Synclaire.
You're not having doubts
because of what's going
on between them, are you?
Don't put words in
my mouth, but yes.
Oh, fool, if you
follow that logic
you'll never get married.
I mean, most
marriages end in divorce.
I'm not helping, am I?
I'm just gonna go over here.
Honey, Overton is a sweet
considerate man
who respects you.
He is not a wind bag
who turns everything
you say into a joke.
Well, and you're not
marrying some killjoy
who talks about you like
you're not in the room.
I don't ever remember you
two going at each other like this.
Wha‐what happened?
Well, you moved to New York.
Few years later, I
stopped teaching.
And very shortly after that
I realized how
annoying your father is.
Your mother just doesn't
appreciate my sense of humor.
No, what I don't appreciate
is having to keep what I want
out of life to myself because
you'll turn it into
a great big joke.
Come here, baby.
See, see, we're not like them.
I'd never make
fun of your dreams.
Did I scoff when you
did that naked play?
‐ What? ‐ What?
No! Now, zippity, yoo‐hay, now.
Zip.
Stay on the subject here.
Ma, you tell daddy
what it is you wanna do.
He'll laugh.
Hmm. Hey, at least
one of us will feel better.
Dad!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Okay, Lilah.
I am listening.
I want to be a lounge singer.
'Did you hear that?'
A lounge singer. You mean,
like John Davidson at the Ramada.
Eventually.
I mean, you know,
I have to start small.
Uh, mini malls and‐and open
mike nights and church basements.
I remember when you sang
at grandpa Jerry's funeral.
Oh, there wasn't a
dry eye in the house.
Baby, that's probably
'cause, uh, Jerry was dead.
If singing is your
dream, I'll support you.
Even if it is a
little bit loony.
Maybe, I'll put a
few jokes together
and be your opening act.
That's not part of the dream.
So, can we consider
this crisis solved?
Well, I don't think so.
We have a lot
more talking to do.
I'm willing.
And I promise I won't
say anything funny.
Don't I know it.
Oh, that's a step
in the right direction.
Look at that, look at that.
Mummy, daddy. Mummy, daddy.
Aww.
Mother, would you like
to sing at our wedding?
Oh, I get to wear my
Paddy Lavelle wig.
Oh, my God.
Now, I can put a tip
jar on the organ for you.
And, uh, tsk, I'll
put in the first dollar.
‐ Alright. ‐ Come on.
‐ We're out of here.
‐ Share the love.
Yeah, I'm glad
you're feeling better
my back on track bride‐to‐be.
Glad to be back,
my soon to be suitor.
Give me love.
♪ That's what friends ♪
♪ Are for ♪
Who's next?
Odelle, I heard you singing
in the ladies room. Come on.
No, girl. Uh‐uh.
I'm a, I'm a
housewife. I don't sing.
Come on. Go release yourself.
It's fun, come on. Here, here.
‐ Go ahead. ‐ I'm
doing this for you.
‐ For us. ‐ Go ahead, mama.
‐ Don't worry. Sing it
mama. ‐ I'm not doing..
‐ I'm doing this for
you. ‐ Sing mama.
Okay.
♪ Keep smiling ♪
♪ Keep shining ♪
♪ Knowing you can always count ♪
♪ On me ♪
♪ For sure ♪
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
♪ In good times ♪
♪ And bad times ♪
♪ I'll be on your
side forever more ♪
♪ I'll be on your
side forever more ♪
♪ Ooh that's ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Friends ♪
♪ Are ♪
♪ For ♪
Oh, you've got
so much potential.
Khadijah will arrive
at the designated
Chinese restaurant
with Synclaire's parents,
whom I'm referring to as.
Eagles one and two.
Regine, it's an engagement party
not "Mission Impossible."
Says you.
I gotta coordinate this thing
for 12 bucks a person
including the
Buddha beer fountain.
All I care about is that our
parents get along, Overton.
Oh, don't worry
about it, sweet pea.
Uh, I know they
didn't hit it off too well
when they spoke on the phone
but as soon as
they meet each other
they'll be closer than
pork and a pot sticker.
Than fortune in a cookie.
'Than chop and suey.'
Oh, oh. Than raw
fish on white rice.
Oh, oh, oh, wait
now. That's Japanese.
Mm‐hmm.
‐ Would you listen?
‐ That's alright.
‐ Let's do Italian. ‐
Okay, uh, cal on zone.
Uh, uh, um, Al and Pacino.
Oh, oh, that's..
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh and in a
nineties kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪
♪ You gotta fight ♪
♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Do what you want,
girlfriend cause it's your world ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Regine, how can you
still be working on that
engagement party?
You already have four
emergency evacuation plans.
Including that stupid
helicopter thing.
Oh, dear, the party is planned.
I am now cocking the spring
on a foolproof
Max and Kyle trap.
Why you still trying to find out
if those two are
getting any swerve on?
Because I feed on
drama, Khadijah.
And this is an all
you can eat buffet.
Hello, hello.
Okay, Regine, you
said it was important.
And I see that Max is involved.
So I assume we're
taking rabies shots.
If we're going to the clinic
let's get him fixed.
It shouldn't take too long.
If we're done with the
oh‐so‐clever fake bickering..
I'm doing the place
cards for the party.
Who are you bringing?
‐ I‐I don't know. ‐ Ah‐ha!
You don't know.
Because you don't have a date.
Because you two have been
seeing each other
behind my back.
Regine, I'm currently
juggling three women.
And I have not figured out
which two to let
fall into the abyss
of Kylelisness.
Buh‐bye.
Mm‐hmm.
And, uh, what's
your story, Maxine?
None of your damn business,
Inch High Private Eye.
I'm telling you, if we don't
have dates for this party.
Regine is gonna to send
out the blood hounds.
So, who are you going to take?
Maxine, if I bring a date,
it is not a question of who
it is a question of which.
With you, it's a
question of what.
You know, you
make my skin crawl.
Now, come here and kiss papa.
Get off me! Ha, ha, ha, ha.
‐ Get off me.
Stop! ‐ Ha, ha, ha.
Is the runt gone?
Yeah, she ran upstairs
yelling, "Curses! Foiled again."
Good, 'cause I need a
bogus date for this party.
And I'm not sure I can
get one of my reserves
on such short notice.
Why don't you just take Kyle?
Nobody cares whether you
guys are in a relationship.
I mean, they may mock
you, but they won't care.
We, we're not in a relationship.
We're just having sex.
Really good sex,
though. Ha, ha, ha!
‐ You're getting all freaky‐‐
‐ I know. Ha, ha. Look.
Hey, you don't have to.. Just,
just get me somebody decent.
He doesn't have to be,
"Thank you, Jesus," fine.
Take Teddy.
Come on, you know
he's sitting at home.
That pathetic stiff that
spends an hour and a half
tellin' you the history
of a paper clip?
That's him.
What's his number?
Where is Khadijah?
She was supposed to
be here with the Eagles
three and a half minutes ago.
I know what happened.
I'll tell you what happened.
Our parents met outside
and right now a James is
wrestling a Jones to the ground.
That's what
happened! I can feel it.
Oh, or maybe
they were just late.
‐ Mom, dad. ‐ Aw, you look nice.
‐ Oh, ho‐ho, hey. ‐ Ah!
Oh, everybody?
These are my parents.
She's mom, he's dad.
Overton, you're even more
handsome than your pictures.
Specially without that
three armed sweater.
Synclaire knit you.
Got a little carried away.
Well, it's a pleasure to finally
meet you, Mr. and Mrs. James.
Oh, please,
Overton, call me dad.
Or Mr. Dad, if you don't
feel comfortable yet.
Now, with the collapse
of the Ming dynasty
chopsticks were
suddenly popular again.
Except for one critical
change in their design.
Are you ready?
Ah, what, who?
The tips went from
round to square.
Oh, the old round
to square story.
Max, you're a lucky girl.
Yeah, thanks for the hook‐up.
Oh, hello, everyone.
I would like you to
meet, Lisa DeLongpre.
Hi, hi.
You look familiar.
The Secaucus Trekkie Convention.
No, more likely you've
seen her enchanting
visage on the covers of Elle
or Cosmopolitan, you know.
And, don't miss next
month's British Vogue.
I'll be sure to
wrap my fish in it.
Kyle, a word.
You stay lovely, okay?
I thought you're gonna
bring a bogus date like mine.
Not some wannabe Jet centerfold.
Lisa is an old friend who just
happened to be
free this evening.
So, um, I flew her
in from Los Angeles.
You know, I paid for everything.
You won't even give me cab fare.
Maxine, we are not
together. Remember?
To be perfectly honest,
I was kind of nervous
when I popped the question
until Synclaire said, "Oh,
oh, oh. Wait, now. Yes."
Now, I'm looking forward
to a lifetime of happiness.
Well, son, I'll tell you.
Marriage is a lot like prison.
Except, the food isn't as good
and your cellmate never changes.
Clinton, you're
just a joke machine.
And that won't work
for nobody but you.
‐ Pumpkin! ‐ Hey! Hey!
Alright, now. The
Jones' in the house.
‐ That's right! ‐ That's right!
‐ Lumpy! Is that you? ‐ Yes..
Oh, honey.
My little lump.
A‐and don't eat too many
of them Chinese dumplings.
Or you'll blow up like the
Michelin man again, Lumpy.
Yeah, well, it's good to
see you, too, Mr. Jones.
‐ Mother Jones, Mother
Jones. ‐ Oh, pretty lady.
‐ Oh, that's so
sweet. ‐ Thank you.
Oh, Father Jones, give
me some love. Oh, ha, ha.
Ooh, have you lost
weight, gained some hair?
‐ Both. ‐ Oh, my.
And I like it.
Well, here we are.
Mom, dad, I'd like
you to meet two people
I know you're gonna love.
He is an electrical contractor
who hails from Cleveland.
She's a homemaker whose hobbies
include shopping and Tai Chi.
Won't you please say hello
to Otis and Odelle Jones.
Give 'em some love.
They call this a rib?
Now, what kind of midget
pig did this come from?
Probably grazed on the same
farm they grew this baby corn.
‐ So, you're right. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
But if you wanna see
some serious meat..
You gotta come to the
next Jones family barbeque.
Alright.
Ribs bigger than my son's head.
Alright, I'm gonna take
that as a compliment.
‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ That's right.
I can bring my famous yamaloaf.
‐ Yamaloaf! ‐ Yoo!
Sounds like a
family affair to me.
Mm.
Oh, isn't this so sweet?
Feels like it's a
phone commercial.
Mm‐hmm.
Look at them.
Trying to make us think
they're dating other people
by dating other people.
Yeah, poor Kyle.
Wasting his whole night
on a Miss USA look alike
just so he could throw
salt in your game.
Alright. But what about Max?
'I mean, why did she
rummage to the bottom'
'of your reject pile
to find Wooden Boy?'
You know, Regine, if
you got paid for the time
you spend in other
people's business
you would afford
your own apartment.
Let's work on that.
Lilah, try some of
this egg foo yung.
Oh, Clinton, take that
off my plate, please.
You never try anything new.
By the time you
got off enough guts
to try a new
course, it was gone.
Why don't you eat it for me?
With your mouth
full it might muffle
some of that
nonsense I'm hearing.
Yeah, you, you all talk
about some good television.
Who saw "When animals attack"?
Ri‐right.
Whe‐whe‐when that deer
was beating on that man.
And it was just clubbing
him down with hooves.
‐ Yeah, literally. ‐
Congratulations, Lilah.
You brought a joyous
gathering to a screeching halt.
Look like somebody
ordered up some ugly in here.
I'm not the one
who's been forcing
those stupid jokes on everyone.
Lord knows, I don't miss that.
Oh, and I don't miss
your lectures on that
ab‐roller gathering
dust in the corner.
Hey, w‐what's going on?
Go ahead. Tell her, Clinton.
She has a right to know.
Your father and I are separated.
What?
Separated?
Bu‐but you all.. You
two look so together.
I'm sorry, baby.
We were going to tell
you after your wedding.
Well, how sweet.
Why, why give crystal
when a divorce is so
much more permanent?
Otis, honey, why don't we go
look at the beer
Buddha over there?
Uh, if we can see the
beer Buddha from here
why we gotta go over there?
Otis, I put up with 600
miles of your driving.
You could at least
walk 12 feet with me.
'Come on.'
Son, I gotta go look
at the beer Buddha.
And so do you.
Just delight us, come on.
What's going on with you two?
Yeah, you guys always used to
seem like the perfect couple.
All kissy, kissy and stuff.
Slow dancin' when
there wasn't any music.
And that was in church.
That was 20 years ago.
People change.
But they can change together.
Uh, look at Demi and Bruce.
They both went bald. I mean..
Your mother just tunes me out.
That's right, Clinton.
It's all my fault.
I'm the one who never
listens. Excuse me!
‐ See? ‐ Mom, don't go.
I opened my mouth, poof!
She's the Invisible Woman.
Well, two can play that game.
‐ Well, daddy, don't go. ‐
Uncle Clinton, Uncle Clinton.
I, uh..
The only argument
they ever had was
over who loved who more.
What is this?
Oh, they're still in love.
I'm sure they'll
figure this all out.
Yeah, well, your parents didn't.
Well, that's because
my parents tended to fight
over my father
forgetting to come home.
Wish there was
something I could do.
Son, this is one of them times
when you gotta let the
beaver build its own dam.
I mean, why would
they pick a time like this
to drop a big old
bomb like that?
‐ What's up with that? ‐ Yeah!
You don't hear me
talking about my bunions.
And they deserve
some conversation.
My memories go back
way before second grade.
My very first memory
was of lying in my crib.
Just, just, just lying there
not, not really awake
not really sleeping.
I can relate.
Mm... Half of my shampoo
models, they don't have hair
as lush as yours.
Uh, you know, a little genetics
a little Fro‐So Soft. Yeah.
Give me your hair.
Ooh, baby, that's hair.
Oh, now, careful.
You know my hair
is one of my many
erogenous zones.
Ow!
You can take it, big baby.
‐ Oh, yeah. ‐ Duh, enough!
Kyle, if you can
tear yourself away
from lady fingers there
I'd like to talk to you.
Well, you keep those
ten digits warm, okay?
Ey, where are they going?
Who, who, who
is this leggy chick?
Is Max paying you?
Come on, man! I want answers!
My head hurts.
Alright, so what's
the deal, Barker?
What you're trying to
prove, flying in that floozy?
Maxine, bringing
dates was your idea.
And as your escort proves,
New York's dating pool is
at the moment,
frighteningly shallow.
Admit it, you imported
that chocolate cake
to make me jealous.
I will neither confirm
nor deny that.
But the fact that you
are green with jealousy
does make me kind of giddy.
I am not jealous.
It just burns me the freak up
to see you with that woman.
Now, Maxine, you say that again
and listen to yourself.
Admit it. You like me.
Not as much as
you like yourself.
Well, that's a start.
Mm, Kyle, I mean
what good it would do
to admit such a thing?
Because, then I wouldn't see you
as the troll under
the bridge of truth.
More like the brave Billy
Goat walking across it.
Come on, Maxine.
Unburden your soul.
‐ Rrrrr. ‐ Alright, shut up.
All these years of
on again, off again
and sticking around,
you've grown on me.
And in some ways, a lot
of ways, you're my equal.
And although I'm not
entirely comfortable with that
that's just who I am.
There!
I said it.
And that was quite an admission.
I just wish I knew
what it meant.
Oh, hell, man.
I like you.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Uh, Maxine. Now,
was that so hard?
Darling, come here. Yeah.
‐ It's true. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ I like you. ‐ Mm.
And sometimes I think I‐‐
And get the hell away from me!
I hate that woman.
Hey, baby. How you doin'?
Obie..
Oh.
If my parent's marriage
can break up, anybody's can.
Even ours.
What's the point of
jumping the broom
if it's just gonna
end up like this?
That's it.
All James' report to
the foyer, immediately!
I'm mopping up this mess
right here and right now.
‐ You hear me? ‐
What are you gonna do?
No, you'll see. You‐‐.
Did you say "Jones'" pumpkin?
‐ No, mama, I said James'. ‐ Oh.
We're going to
have a little meeting.
And if it's about the two bucks
for the cool check,
it's about time.
Overton, if this is about
Mrs. James and me
this is between
Mrs. James and me.
No, this is not about you.
My girl is having
doubts about us now.
Honey, it's perfectly natural
to have second thoughts.
Lord knows I should have.
Oh, look who found
her funny bone.
Wait a minute, Synclaire.
You're not having doubts
because of what's going
on between them, are you?
Don't put words in
my mouth, but yes.
Oh, fool, if you
follow that logic
you'll never get married.
I mean, most
marriages end in divorce.
I'm not helping, am I?
I'm just gonna go over here.
Honey, Overton is a sweet
considerate man
who respects you.
He is not a wind bag
who turns everything
you say into a joke.
Well, and you're not
marrying some killjoy
who talks about you like
you're not in the room.
I don't ever remember you
two going at each other like this.
Wha‐what happened?
Well, you moved to New York.
Few years later, I
stopped teaching.
And very shortly after that
I realized how
annoying your father is.
Your mother just doesn't
appreciate my sense of humor.
No, what I don't appreciate
is having to keep what I want
out of life to myself because
you'll turn it into
a great big joke.
Come here, baby.
See, see, we're not like them.
I'd never make
fun of your dreams.
Did I scoff when you
did that naked play?
‐ What? ‐ What?
No! Now, zippity, yoo‐hay, now.
Zip.
Stay on the subject here.
Ma, you tell daddy
what it is you wanna do.
He'll laugh.
Hmm. Hey, at least
one of us will feel better.
Dad!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Okay, Lilah.
I am listening.
I want to be a lounge singer.
'Did you hear that?'
A lounge singer. You mean,
like John Davidson at the Ramada.
Eventually.
I mean, you know,
I have to start small.
Uh, mini malls and‐and open
mike nights and church basements.
I remember when you sang
at grandpa Jerry's funeral.
Oh, there wasn't a
dry eye in the house.
Baby, that's probably
'cause, uh, Jerry was dead.
If singing is your
dream, I'll support you.
Even if it is a
little bit loony.
Maybe, I'll put a
few jokes together
and be your opening act.
That's not part of the dream.
So, can we consider
this crisis solved?
Well, I don't think so.
We have a lot
more talking to do.
I'm willing.
And I promise I won't
say anything funny.
Don't I know it.
Oh, that's a step
in the right direction.
Look at that, look at that.
Mummy, daddy. Mummy, daddy.
Aww.
Mother, would you like
to sing at our wedding?
Oh, I get to wear my
Paddy Lavelle wig.
Oh, my God.
Now, I can put a tip
jar on the organ for you.
And, uh, tsk, I'll
put in the first dollar.
‐ Alright. ‐ Come on.
‐ We're out of here.
‐ Share the love.
Yeah, I'm glad
you're feeling better
my back on track bride‐to‐be.
Glad to be back,
my soon to be suitor.
Give me love.
♪ That's what friends ♪
♪ Are for ♪
Who's next?
Odelle, I heard you singing
in the ladies room. Come on.
No, girl. Uh‐uh.
I'm a, I'm a
housewife. I don't sing.
Come on. Go release yourself.
It's fun, come on. Here, here.
‐ Go ahead. ‐ I'm
doing this for you.
‐ For us. ‐ Go ahead, mama.
‐ Don't worry. Sing it
mama. ‐ I'm not doing..
‐ I'm doing this for
you. ‐ Sing mama.
Okay.
♪ Keep smiling ♪
♪ Keep shining ♪
♪ Knowing you can always count ♪
♪ On me ♪
♪ For sure ♪
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
♪ In good times ♪
♪ And bad times ♪
♪ I'll be on your
side forever more ♪
♪ I'll be on your
side forever more ♪
♪ Ooh that's ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Friends ♪
♪ Are ♪
♪ For ♪
Oh, you've got
so much potential.