Living Single (1993–1998): Season 4, Episode 17 - Playing House - full transcript
COME ON, KYLE, TIME
TO SKEDADDLEY‐DOO.
OKAY, KYLE, YOU DON'T
WANT TO LOSE FACE
BY MISSING YOUR FLIGHT
TO TOKYO, DO YOU?
MUSHI, MUSHI, MUSHI!
LOOK, LOOK, YOU ALL
COULD GET RID OF ME
A LOT QUICKER
IF YOU JUST INSTALLED
A TRAP DOOR.
SORRY, DOG.
IT'S JUST WITH YOU OUT OF TOWN
IT GIVES SYNCLAIRE AND I
OUR FIRST CHANCE
AT COHABITATION.
FOR THE NEXT FOUR DAYS
WE'LL BE CONDUCTING
AN EXPERIMENT
IN DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP.
AND DOING THE WILD THING
IN EVERY BLESSED ROOM.
MMM, YES, MAMA.
YES, YES.
OKAY, YOU TWO ENJOY
AND, UH, BRO... IF
YOU USE MY ROOM
I WILL KNOW.
SAYONARA, SHORTY‐SAN.
BUH‐BYE.
BYE‐BYE, ALL RIGHT, NOW.
YEAH.
WELL, MY SIMULATED SPOUSE
WHAT DO WE DO FIRST?
MAKE A GROCERY LIST
UH, BALANCE THE CHECKBOOK, UH...
LET'S HIT THE COUCH.
ALL RIGHT.
IGNORE THAT KNOCK.
YEAH, BUT WHAT IF
IT'S OPPORTUNITY?
WHOO!
HI!
ARE YOU THE PRETEND
MARRIED COUPLE
THAT JUST MOVED IN?
WE'RE HERE TO WELCOME YOU
TO THE BROWNSTONE.
ACTUALLY, WE'RE WITH
THE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH.
WE WATCHED YOU
CARRY IN SOME GROCERIES
AND WE HUNGRY.
WHAT'S CRACKING?
♪ WE ARE LIVING ♪
♪ SINGLE ♪
♪ OOH, IN A '90s KIND OF WORLD ♪
♪ I'M GLAD I GOT MY GIRLS ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ WHAT? ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ WHENEVER THIS
LIFE GETS TOUGH ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO FIGHT WITH ♪
♪ MY HOMEGIRL STANDING
TO MY LEFT AND MY RIGHT ♪
♪ TRUE BLUE, IT'S
TIGHT LIKE GLUE ♪
♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ WE ARE LIVING SINGLE. ♪
Captioning sponsored by FOX
BROADCASTING COMPANY
ROOM SERVICE!
SHUT THE DOOR, SHUT THE DOOR.
I ALMOST DIDN'T MAKE IT.
SOME LUNATIC MISTOOK
ME FOR DIANA ROSS
AND CHASED ME DOWN FIFTH AVENUE.
SO, WHAT WAS YOUR COVER STORY?
I TOLD THE GIRLS I WAS IN
PHILLY VISITING MY MOTHER.
OH... HA‐HA!
THEY WILL NEVER TRACE US HERE!
BUSTED! QUICK, UNDER THE BED!
GLASS FOR YOU AND ONE...
FOR YOUR SHY COMPANION.
I HOPE YOU GOT CORN
NUTS TO GO WITH IT.
OH, IT'S FROM MY BOSS.
HEY, HEY... LOOK HERE.
I THOUGHT WE AGREED.
SECURITY ON THIS NEED
TO BE AT LEVEL FIVE.
MAXINE, OFTEN THE
MOST BRILLIANT RUSE
IS THAT WHICH IS
CLOSEST TO THE TRUTH.
YEAH, I TOLD MY BOSS I WAS
HAVING A CARNAL RENDEZVOUS
BUT WITH PAM GRIER.
SO, I'M FOXY BROWN, HUH?
UH‐HUH.
YEAH, WELL, NOW I CAN
PRETEND YOU'RE SHAFT
WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.
YOU KNOW... I WAS
REALLY SURPRISED
WHEN YOU SUGGESTED
THIS DANGEROUS LIAISON.
JUST REMEMBER, THIS
IS NOT ABOUT ROMANCE.
THIS IS ABOUT SEX.
MM‐HMM. THE WHOLE SEX
AND NOTHING BUT THE SEX.
COME ON NOW.
PLEASURE FOR PURE
PLEASURE'S SAKE.
THIS IS NOT A RENEWAL
OF OUR SAPPY
SO‐CALLED RELATIONSHIP.
MONDAY AT FIVE I GO BACK
TO PUBLICLY LOATHING YOU.
I LOATHE YOU ALREADY.
YEAH, I FIND YOU UTTERLY...
DISGUSTING.
FIRST ONE TO BED GETS
THE CHOCOLATE MINTS.
KHADIJAH, WOULD YOU LIKE
MORE OF KYLE'S JUMBO SHRIMP?
NAH, THEY KIND OF
LOST THEIR MAGIC
WHEN WE, UH, RAN OUT
OF KYLE'S SPICY CHUTNEY.
WELL, WHAT AN EVENING.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
WE LAUGHED... WE CRIED...
WE WORE OUT OUR WELCOME.
LET'S GO, LADIES.
LET'S GO. HERE WE GO.
OH, NOW, HOLD UP.
OVERTON SPENDS MORE TIME
IN OUR APARTMENT
THAN THE CARPET.
IT IS FINALLY OUR TURN TO
PLAY UNWANTED HOUSE GUEST
AND WE ARE GOING TO
ENJOY EVERY HOUR OF IT.
AIN'T THAT RIGHT, MY
PAYBACK PARTNER?
THAT'S RIGHT.
MATTER OF FACT
I THINK IT'S TIME WE
RAID THE FREEZER
AND THEN SETTLE IN FOR A
MARATHON GAME OF JEOPARDY.
OH‐OH‐OH!
I TAKE "PAINS IN
THE ASS" FOR 500.
OH, BE PATIENT, BABY.
I MEAN, THIS IS THE
PERFECT TEST OF OUR ABILITY
TO HANDLE UNWELCOME GUESTS.
THE WAY TO HANDLE THEM
IS TO SHOW THEM THE DOOR.
I SAY LET THEM STAY A WHILE.
I MEAN, IT WOULD
BE GOOD TRAINING.
TRAINING?
IS THAT THE TYPE OF TRAINING
WHERE I DO WHATEVER YOU SAY?
"OH, YES, OBIE.
WHATEVER YOU SAY, OBIE."
DON'T TAUNT ME, WOMAN.
YOU KEEP GOING LIKE THIS
TAUNTING IS ALL
YOU GOING TO GET.
OH, LOOKY HERE.
I CAN BOYCOTT MYSELF, NOW
MRS. I‐CLIP‐MY‐ TOENAILS‐IN‐BED.
DON'T GO THERE,
MR. STINKING BOOTS.
AH, HOLD UP.
NOW, THIS A REAL ARGUMENT
OR AN EXPERIMENTAL ONE?
LET'S CALL IT EXPERIMENTAL
BUT WE SHOULD
MAKE UP TO BE SURE.
TALK TO ME.
MMM‐WOW!
YOU KNOW WHAT?
FORGET JEOPARDY.
WE GOING TO WATCH ROOTS UNCUT
ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL.
LADIES, IT'S 10;00.
YOU KNOW WHERE
YOUR APARTMENT IS?
HEY!
THAT'S TEN MINUTES LONGER
THAN I THOUGHT WE COULD
HAVE STAYED UP THERE.
HEY, LOU. HELLO, LADIES.
WOULD YOU ACCEPT THIS FOR MAX?
I'D LEAVE IT BY HER DOOR
BUT IT'S MARKED "PERISHABLE."
PROBABLY HER SHIPMENT
OF MEAT LOAVES OF MANY NATIONS.
THERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU. SURE.
HUH. CHECK THIS OUT.
IT'S FROM HER MOM
BUT, I MEAN, IF THEY'RE TOGETHER
WHY DIDN'T SHE
JUST GIVE IT TO MAX?
UNLESS MAX ISN'T
IN PHILLY AT ALL.
WHAT'S THIS I SMELL?
COULD IT BE... DIRT?
WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE NANCY
DREW OF THE PROJECTS.
I'M TELLING YOU, MAXINE
IS UP TO SOMETHING.
MY MISSION... AND I
CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT...
IS TO FIND OUT WHAT SHE'S DOING.
OR WHO.
MAXINE!
WHOO!
WHAT ARE YOU...?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?
WHAT IF SOMEBODY SEES YOU?
GET IN HERE.
KYLE, WE ARE ON THE 11th FLOOR.
WE DON'T KNOW ANY PIGEONS.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OLD MAN.
I'M COMING.
LOOK, I AM NOT THE ONE WHO
IS PARANOID ABOUT PEOPLE
FINDING OUT ABOUT US.
I'M JUST TRYING TO
GO WITH THE FLOW.
WHEN HAS MR. IRON‐HIS‐DRAWERS
EVER GONE WITH THE FLOW?
UH, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHY
I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS.
WELL, IT SURE DIDN'T
TAKE MUCH CONVINCING.
I SAID "KYLE, YOU
WANT TO MEET ME"
AT THE ALEXANDER
HOTEL THIS WEEKEND?"
YOU SAID, "WHAT THE HELL."
YOU KNOW, AND HELL IS
EXACTLY WHAT I AM GETTING.
YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT.
YOU ARE STILL THE
SAME TORTURED SOUL.
YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY
HOW I ONLY FEEL TORTURED
IN YOUR PRESENCE.
THAT'S IT.
I DON'T NEED THIS.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
PRESS.
ARE YOU AS HOT AS I AM?
HOTTER, BABY, HOTTER.
HMM. A FIVE‐LETTER WORD
MEANING "COMPLETE HAPPINESS".
O‐B‐I‐E... EXCLAMATION POINT.
BREAKFAST IS SERVED,
MY HEAVENLY BODY.
BREAKFAST‐IN‐COUCH‐‐
HOW SPECIAL.
CLOSE YOUR EYES, OBIE.
PICTURE US TWO YEARS FROM NOW
IN OUR CHIC, UPSCALE APARTMENT
ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE.
UH, DEAR HEART
UH, DON'T YOU MEAN OUR
RUSTIC CATSKILLS COTTAGE?
WE'LL HAVE TO LIVE IN MANHATTAN
IF I'M TO CONQUER BROADWAY
AND JOIN THE RANKS OF
LENA HORNE, STREISAND
AND THE INCOMPARABLE
SANDY DUNCAN.
YEAH, BUT BABY, YOU
KNOW I HAD MY HEART SET
ON BUILDING US A LOG LOVE
BUNKER AMONGST THE BRAMBLES.
DARLING, I LOVE YOU,
BUT GIVE ME PARK AVENUE.
OH, HOLD UP.
OKAY, TELL YOU WHAT.
IF YOU BECOME THE
BELLE OF BROADWAY
WE'LL BE ABLE TO
AFFORD A HELICOPTER
THAT CAN FLY BETWEEN
OUR SWANKY APARTMENT
AND OUR RUSTIC RETREAT.
SO, WE CAN ENJOY THE
PENTHOUSE DURING THE WEEK
AND THE OUTHOUSE ON THE WEEKEND.
THERE YOU GO.
CRISIS SOLVED.
YES.
I'LL START LOOKING FOR
HELICOPTERS POSTHASTE.
AND MAKE SURE THERE'S ROOM
FOR OUR LOVEABLE ST. BERNARD.
ST. BERNARD?
GIRL, I DON'T WANT NO
BIG OLD RUM HOUND.
CHILD, WE GETTING A ROTTWEILER
TO PROTECT THIS FAMILY.
DEVIL DOG FROM THE OMEN?
WELL, CUJO WAS A SAINT
BERNARD LAST I CHECKED.
OH, COME ON, MAN.
ALL HE NEEDED WAS A RABIES SHOT.
YOU CAN'T GET A
SHOT FOR THE DEVIL.
HE COULDN'T HELP IT
IF HIS MASTER WAS THE
PRINCE OF DARKNESS.
I DON'T WANT NO
UGLY DOG... IT'S SCARY!
WHOO! BRAVA, MAXINE.
BRAVA.
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU COULD HOLD YOUR BREATH
UNDER WATER THAT LONG.
YEAH, I DIDN'T EVEN NEED THIS.
HEY, YOU WANT TO ORDER
SOME MORE ROOM SERVICE?
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
WHA‐WHA‐WHA‐WHAT?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I THINK I WENT
DEAF FOR A MINUTE.
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
I'M ACTUALLY QUITE SATISFIED.
OH.
I'M THAT GOOD, HUH?
♪ ...GIRL, I'M CRAVIN'
YOUR BODY ♪
♪ IS THIS REAL? ♪
WHERE IS THAT MUSIC COMING FROM?
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE THE WEDDING DOWNSTAIRS.
THE FOOD'S LOUSY.
AND YOU KNOW THIS HOW?
WELL WHILE YOU WERE NAPPING
I WENT DOWNSTAIRS
TO GET SOME ICE.
AND WANDERED INTO THE BALLROOM.
THEY HAD A GOOD D. J.
YEAH, IF YOU LIKE
THAT SMOOTH, SENSUAL
EROTIC KIND OF GROOVE.
I LIKE. I LIKE.
ARE YOU COLD OUT HERE?
NOT ME.
DID SOMEBODY TURN ON A HEATER?
SOMETHING'S ON.
WELL... IF IT ISN'T THE
UNWELCOME WAGON.
WHAT YOU PACKIN'?
A LITTLE PEACE OFFERING‐‐
WHITE CHOCOLATE
MACADAMIA NUT CHEESECAKE
WITH A PRETENTIOUS
RASPBERRY SWIRL.
WE ARE CERTAIN KYLE
WOULD WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
THANK YOU.
KYLE.
THE CURIOUSLY OUT‐OF‐TOWN‐
THIS‐WEEKEND KYLE.
TOKYO, IS IT?
YES, AND HE'S GOING
TO BE REALLY SURPRISED
WHEN REALIZES HE FORGOT
HIS COMBINATION VOLTAGE
CONVERTER‐SOCKET ADAPTER.
I SAW IT ON HIS DRESSER IN
HIS BEDROOM WHEN WE WERE...
DUSTING.
LEFT AN ESSENTIAL
ITEM AT HOME, DID HE?
WAS THERE ANYTHING ELSE UNUSUAL
ABOUT BARKER'S BEHAVIOR
ON THE DAY OF HIS DEPARTURE?
NO. NO, HE WAS REALLY
EXCITED ABOUT GOING.
WHICH IS STRANGE
BECAUSE HE HATES THAT
LONG FLIGHT TO TOKYO.
AND YOU JUST CONVENIENTLY
FORGOT THIS UNTIL NOW?
LOOK HERE EITHER
BOOK ME OR LET ME GO!
YOU'RE FREE TO GO
BUT DON'T YOU THINK
ABOUT LEAVING THIS BUILDING
IN CASE I HAVE OTHER QUESTIONS.
FINE. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
US, WE'LL BE UPSTAIRS...
MOPPING.
KYLE! IT'S KYLE!
KHADIJAH, DO YOU HEAR ME?
GIRL, IT'S KYLE!
FIRST OF ALL GET
THE HELL OFF OF ME.
SECOND OF ALL I DON'T CARE.
OH, YOU CARE, KHADIJAH
AND IF MY HUNCH IS RIGHT
THEY ARE SWEATING
UP SOME HOTEL ROOM...
RIGHT HERE IN NEW YORK CITY.
EVEN IF YOU WERE RIGHT
IT'S A THOUSAND
HOTELS IN NEW YORK.
WHAT, YOU GONNA GO
KNOCK ON EVERY DOOR
AND SAY, "KYLE, COME
OUT WITH YOUR PANTS UP."
THERE ARE ONLY EIGHT
HOTELS IN THE CITY
THAT MEETS KYLE'S STANDARDS.
I WILL CALL EACH ONE,
FLIRT WITH THE CONCIERGE
REGARDLESS OF GENDER...
AND THEN I'LL BUST IN
ON THEIR LITTLE SEX PARTY
AND I'LL SAY... "YOU'VE GOT
THE RIGHT TO REMAIN NEKKID."
OH, I GOT TO GET ME
A OUTFIT FOR THIS ONE.
YEAH, OBIE.
LISTEN, WHAT'S THAT ALIAS THAT
KYLE USED TO GET BACKSTAGE
AT THE MISS BLACK
AMERICA PAGEANT?
UH... UM... UH...
HENRI PIERPONT.
UH, HIS FAVORITE HOTEL?
THE ALEXANDRA.
THANKS, OBIE.
ALEXANDRA, ALEXANDRA...
UH‐HUH... UH‐HEH... EH‐HEH.
YES, ALEXANDRA HOTEL.
MAY I HAVE HENRI PIERPONT?
BONJOUR, THIS IS HENRI.
UH, BONJOUR?
BONJOUR, MY ASS!
UH, UH, MAXINE, MAXINE.
MAXINE, BABE.
WHAT, DADDY?
UH... I REALLY DO
LIKE YOUR TOUCH
BUT YOUR VISE GRIP IS
CUTTING OFF MY CIRCULATION.
EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO CUDDLE.
TURN OFF THAT DAMNED TV.
OH, I GOT A SUGGESTION FOR YOU:
WHY DON'T YOU PUT SOME SOCKS
ON THOSE COLD
CLAWS YOU CALL FEET?
OW!
AW, LOOK AT THAT.
YOU DONE DRAWN BLOOD.
OH, QUIT WHINING, YOU BIG BABY.
IS THIS GOING TO BE ONE
OF THOSE ARGUMENTS
THAT LEADS TO
SEX, 'CAUSE IF IT IS
LET'S JUST SKIP THE ARGUING.
NO! THIS IS ONE OF
THOSE ARGUMENTS
THAT LEADS ME TO TELLING YOU
WHAT A POMPOUS BORE YOU ARE.
OH, THAT'S IT.
YOU HAVE WORKED MY LAST NERVE.
NO, I HAVEN'T.
KYLE BARKER IS NOT IN TOKYO!
SARANARA.
IT HAS BECOME
PAINFULLY CLEAR TO ME
THAT A HUMAN BEING
CAN ONLY SPEND EXACTLY...
36 HOURS, 27 MINUTES
AND 17 SECONDS WITH YOU
WITHOUT ENTERTAINING
THOUGHTS OF VARIOUS FELONIES.
WELL, THE WAY YOU MAKE
LOVE IS HARDLY A MISDEMEANOR.
OH, NOW, SEE, THAT
WOULD HAVE STUNG
IF NOT A HALF AN HOUR
AGO, YOU WASN'T IN THAT BED
HOLLERING, "BREAK IT
DOWN, MR. STOCKBROKER."
B‐B‐BREAK IT DOWN."
BUT I PAID THE PENALTY
FOR EARLY WITHDRAWAL.
WHATEVER.
I'LL SEND THE BELLMAN
FOR MY THINGS.
I'M LEAVING TEN DOLLARS
ON THAT MINI‐BAR
FOR THE HOUSEKEEPER.
DO NOT‐‐ I REPEAT‐‐
DO NOT BUY CANDY.
A GIRL HAS TO HAVE SOMETHING
SWEET AFTER TWO DAYS WITH YOU.
NEXT TIME WE GET A
ROOM WITH A FIREPLACE.
AND A SOFTER BED.
YOU BOOK THE ROOM.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, KYLE?
YOU JUST REALIZE
THAT YOUR PAJAMAS
DO NOT MATCH YOUR OVERCOAT?
HELLO! COULD I BORROW
A CUP OF SUGAR?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DAMN!
DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DANG!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I JUST PASSED YOUR PARTNER
IN CRIME IN THE HALLWAY
BUT I DIPPED INTO THE
STAIRWELL BEFORE HE SAW ME.
SO...
WHEN DID YOU AND KYLE
GET BACK TOGETHER?
WE ARE NOT TOGETHER.
REALLY?
FANCY ROOM... HUH.
EMPTY CHAMPAGNE
BOTTLE... SEX LIGHTS.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
COME ON. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT DO YOU WANT HERE?
WELL, LOOK, I'M NOT TRYING TO BE
ALL UP IN YOUR
BUSINESS, BUT, UH...
REGINE IS HOT ON YOUR TRAIL
SO... I'M JUST TRYING
TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU.
THANKS.
HOW'D YOU FIND US?
WELL, I'M A JOURNALIST
AND A DAMNED GOOD ONE.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
SO, UH, WHY DID YOU AND...?
SO... WHY DID YOU AND
KYLE HOOK UP AGAIN?
YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I THINK IT'S A
REINCARNATION THING, YOU KNOW?
I THINK MAYBE I KILLED
HIM IN ANOTHER LIFE.
OR MAYBE HE REALLY
MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU.
PLEASE GET OFF IT.
THAT MAN IS LIKE AN ANGRY RASH
THAT JUST KEEPS COMING BACK
NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY
TO GET RID OF IT.
DAMN IF IT DON'T FEEL GOOD
TO SCRATCH IT SOMETIMES.
HA! TOO GOOD, TOO GOOD.
WELL, LOOK, WE BETTER
GET UP OUT OF HERE
BEFORE THAT BLOODHOUND
IN THE WIG SNIFFS YOU OUT.
TELL ME THAT'S NOT MY EGGBEATER.
YOU DON'T WANT IT BACK.
UGH!
OH, LOOK, DEAR‐‐ COMPANY.
HEY, KYLE, WHAT YOU DOING
HOME FROM TOKYO SO EARLY
AND WHY YOU WEARING PAJAMAS?
I GOT A QUESTION:
WHAT IS YOUR BED
DOING IN THE LIVING ROOM?
IT'S ALL PART OF OUR
COHABITATION EXPERIMENT.
SEE, BABY GIRL HERE
WANTED TO LAY IN BED
AND CUDDLE ALL DAY.
I FELT A BIT CRAMPED
IN MY SMALL QUARTERS
SO WE BROUGHT THE
MOUNTAIN TO MOHAMMED.
AND DOESN'T THE PROPHET
LOOK GOOD IN YOUR ROBE?
DRY CLEAN IT, RETURN IT
AND DISMANTLE THIS
SHANTY TOWN AT ONCE.
HEY, KYLE, WHY
DON'T YOU BRING ME
A HUNK OF THAT
COBBLER BACK, BABE?
OBIE... YOU PROMISED NO
MORE SWEETS BEFORE BED.
I'M SICK OF YOU
WAKING UP IN TEARS.
WELL, IT'S MY BED
AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO.
THAT'S A FINE ATTITUDE
FOR A HUSBAND.
YOU KNOW, GIRL
WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR TWO DAYS
AND ARGUED NO
LESS THAN SIX TIMES.
MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR US
TO TAKE A LITTLE STEP BACK
AND REALLY FIGURE OUT
IF WE READY FOR
THIS MARRIAGE THING.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
ON THE OTHER HAND
WE COULD AGREE THAT
MOST COUPLES ARGUE
AND IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY
LOVE EACH OTHER ANY LESS.
WHOO! THAT WAS CLOSE.
HOLD ME.
MADAM, THIS IS THE LAST
ROOM ON THIS FLOOR.
I MEAN, EXACTLY WHO IS
IT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
OH, MY GOODNESS.
I'VE NEVER SEEN AN HONOR
BAR PICKED SO CLEAN.
IT'S AS IF IT'S BEEN HOSED DOWN.
DAMN YOU, MAXINE SHAW.
I WILL FIND YOU
EVEN IF I HAVE TO WALK THE
FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH.
WHOO‐HOO!
TO SKEDADDLEY‐DOO.
OKAY, KYLE, YOU DON'T
WANT TO LOSE FACE
BY MISSING YOUR FLIGHT
TO TOKYO, DO YOU?
MUSHI, MUSHI, MUSHI!
LOOK, LOOK, YOU ALL
COULD GET RID OF ME
A LOT QUICKER
IF YOU JUST INSTALLED
A TRAP DOOR.
SORRY, DOG.
IT'S JUST WITH YOU OUT OF TOWN
IT GIVES SYNCLAIRE AND I
OUR FIRST CHANCE
AT COHABITATION.
FOR THE NEXT FOUR DAYS
WE'LL BE CONDUCTING
AN EXPERIMENT
IN DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP.
AND DOING THE WILD THING
IN EVERY BLESSED ROOM.
MMM, YES, MAMA.
YES, YES.
OKAY, YOU TWO ENJOY
AND, UH, BRO... IF
YOU USE MY ROOM
I WILL KNOW.
SAYONARA, SHORTY‐SAN.
BUH‐BYE.
BYE‐BYE, ALL RIGHT, NOW.
YEAH.
WELL, MY SIMULATED SPOUSE
WHAT DO WE DO FIRST?
MAKE A GROCERY LIST
UH, BALANCE THE CHECKBOOK, UH...
LET'S HIT THE COUCH.
ALL RIGHT.
IGNORE THAT KNOCK.
YEAH, BUT WHAT IF
IT'S OPPORTUNITY?
WHOO!
HI!
ARE YOU THE PRETEND
MARRIED COUPLE
THAT JUST MOVED IN?
WE'RE HERE TO WELCOME YOU
TO THE BROWNSTONE.
ACTUALLY, WE'RE WITH
THE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH.
WE WATCHED YOU
CARRY IN SOME GROCERIES
AND WE HUNGRY.
WHAT'S CRACKING?
♪ WE ARE LIVING ♪
♪ SINGLE ♪
♪ OOH, IN A '90s KIND OF WORLD ♪
♪ I'M GLAD I GOT MY GIRLS ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ WHAT? ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ WHENEVER THIS
LIFE GETS TOUGH ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO FIGHT WITH ♪
♪ MY HOMEGIRL STANDING
TO MY LEFT AND MY RIGHT ♪
♪ TRUE BLUE, IT'S
TIGHT LIKE GLUE ♪
♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ WE ARE LIVING SINGLE. ♪
Captioning sponsored by FOX
BROADCASTING COMPANY
ROOM SERVICE!
SHUT THE DOOR, SHUT THE DOOR.
I ALMOST DIDN'T MAKE IT.
SOME LUNATIC MISTOOK
ME FOR DIANA ROSS
AND CHASED ME DOWN FIFTH AVENUE.
SO, WHAT WAS YOUR COVER STORY?
I TOLD THE GIRLS I WAS IN
PHILLY VISITING MY MOTHER.
OH... HA‐HA!
THEY WILL NEVER TRACE US HERE!
BUSTED! QUICK, UNDER THE BED!
GLASS FOR YOU AND ONE...
FOR YOUR SHY COMPANION.
I HOPE YOU GOT CORN
NUTS TO GO WITH IT.
OH, IT'S FROM MY BOSS.
HEY, HEY... LOOK HERE.
I THOUGHT WE AGREED.
SECURITY ON THIS NEED
TO BE AT LEVEL FIVE.
MAXINE, OFTEN THE
MOST BRILLIANT RUSE
IS THAT WHICH IS
CLOSEST TO THE TRUTH.
YEAH, I TOLD MY BOSS I WAS
HAVING A CARNAL RENDEZVOUS
BUT WITH PAM GRIER.
SO, I'M FOXY BROWN, HUH?
UH‐HUH.
YEAH, WELL, NOW I CAN
PRETEND YOU'RE SHAFT
WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.
YOU KNOW... I WAS
REALLY SURPRISED
WHEN YOU SUGGESTED
THIS DANGEROUS LIAISON.
JUST REMEMBER, THIS
IS NOT ABOUT ROMANCE.
THIS IS ABOUT SEX.
MM‐HMM. THE WHOLE SEX
AND NOTHING BUT THE SEX.
COME ON NOW.
PLEASURE FOR PURE
PLEASURE'S SAKE.
THIS IS NOT A RENEWAL
OF OUR SAPPY
SO‐CALLED RELATIONSHIP.
MONDAY AT FIVE I GO BACK
TO PUBLICLY LOATHING YOU.
I LOATHE YOU ALREADY.
YEAH, I FIND YOU UTTERLY...
DISGUSTING.
FIRST ONE TO BED GETS
THE CHOCOLATE MINTS.
KHADIJAH, WOULD YOU LIKE
MORE OF KYLE'S JUMBO SHRIMP?
NAH, THEY KIND OF
LOST THEIR MAGIC
WHEN WE, UH, RAN OUT
OF KYLE'S SPICY CHUTNEY.
WELL, WHAT AN EVENING.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
WE LAUGHED... WE CRIED...
WE WORE OUT OUR WELCOME.
LET'S GO, LADIES.
LET'S GO. HERE WE GO.
OH, NOW, HOLD UP.
OVERTON SPENDS MORE TIME
IN OUR APARTMENT
THAN THE CARPET.
IT IS FINALLY OUR TURN TO
PLAY UNWANTED HOUSE GUEST
AND WE ARE GOING TO
ENJOY EVERY HOUR OF IT.
AIN'T THAT RIGHT, MY
PAYBACK PARTNER?
THAT'S RIGHT.
MATTER OF FACT
I THINK IT'S TIME WE
RAID THE FREEZER
AND THEN SETTLE IN FOR A
MARATHON GAME OF JEOPARDY.
OH‐OH‐OH!
I TAKE "PAINS IN
THE ASS" FOR 500.
OH, BE PATIENT, BABY.
I MEAN, THIS IS THE
PERFECT TEST OF OUR ABILITY
TO HANDLE UNWELCOME GUESTS.
THE WAY TO HANDLE THEM
IS TO SHOW THEM THE DOOR.
I SAY LET THEM STAY A WHILE.
I MEAN, IT WOULD
BE GOOD TRAINING.
TRAINING?
IS THAT THE TYPE OF TRAINING
WHERE I DO WHATEVER YOU SAY?
"OH, YES, OBIE.
WHATEVER YOU SAY, OBIE."
DON'T TAUNT ME, WOMAN.
YOU KEEP GOING LIKE THIS
TAUNTING IS ALL
YOU GOING TO GET.
OH, LOOKY HERE.
I CAN BOYCOTT MYSELF, NOW
MRS. I‐CLIP‐MY‐ TOENAILS‐IN‐BED.
DON'T GO THERE,
MR. STINKING BOOTS.
AH, HOLD UP.
NOW, THIS A REAL ARGUMENT
OR AN EXPERIMENTAL ONE?
LET'S CALL IT EXPERIMENTAL
BUT WE SHOULD
MAKE UP TO BE SURE.
TALK TO ME.
MMM‐WOW!
YOU KNOW WHAT?
FORGET JEOPARDY.
WE GOING TO WATCH ROOTS UNCUT
ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL.
LADIES, IT'S 10;00.
YOU KNOW WHERE
YOUR APARTMENT IS?
HEY!
THAT'S TEN MINUTES LONGER
THAN I THOUGHT WE COULD
HAVE STAYED UP THERE.
HEY, LOU. HELLO, LADIES.
WOULD YOU ACCEPT THIS FOR MAX?
I'D LEAVE IT BY HER DOOR
BUT IT'S MARKED "PERISHABLE."
PROBABLY HER SHIPMENT
OF MEAT LOAVES OF MANY NATIONS.
THERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU. SURE.
HUH. CHECK THIS OUT.
IT'S FROM HER MOM
BUT, I MEAN, IF THEY'RE TOGETHER
WHY DIDN'T SHE
JUST GIVE IT TO MAX?
UNLESS MAX ISN'T
IN PHILLY AT ALL.
WHAT'S THIS I SMELL?
COULD IT BE... DIRT?
WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE NANCY
DREW OF THE PROJECTS.
I'M TELLING YOU, MAXINE
IS UP TO SOMETHING.
MY MISSION... AND I
CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT...
IS TO FIND OUT WHAT SHE'S DOING.
OR WHO.
MAXINE!
WHOO!
WHAT ARE YOU...?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?
WHAT IF SOMEBODY SEES YOU?
GET IN HERE.
KYLE, WE ARE ON THE 11th FLOOR.
WE DON'T KNOW ANY PIGEONS.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OLD MAN.
I'M COMING.
LOOK, I AM NOT THE ONE WHO
IS PARANOID ABOUT PEOPLE
FINDING OUT ABOUT US.
I'M JUST TRYING TO
GO WITH THE FLOW.
WHEN HAS MR. IRON‐HIS‐DRAWERS
EVER GONE WITH THE FLOW?
UH, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHY
I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS.
WELL, IT SURE DIDN'T
TAKE MUCH CONVINCING.
I SAID "KYLE, YOU
WANT TO MEET ME"
AT THE ALEXANDER
HOTEL THIS WEEKEND?"
YOU SAID, "WHAT THE HELL."
YOU KNOW, AND HELL IS
EXACTLY WHAT I AM GETTING.
YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT.
YOU ARE STILL THE
SAME TORTURED SOUL.
YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY
HOW I ONLY FEEL TORTURED
IN YOUR PRESENCE.
THAT'S IT.
I DON'T NEED THIS.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
PRESS.
ARE YOU AS HOT AS I AM?
HOTTER, BABY, HOTTER.
HMM. A FIVE‐LETTER WORD
MEANING "COMPLETE HAPPINESS".
O‐B‐I‐E... EXCLAMATION POINT.
BREAKFAST IS SERVED,
MY HEAVENLY BODY.
BREAKFAST‐IN‐COUCH‐‐
HOW SPECIAL.
CLOSE YOUR EYES, OBIE.
PICTURE US TWO YEARS FROM NOW
IN OUR CHIC, UPSCALE APARTMENT
ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE.
UH, DEAR HEART
UH, DON'T YOU MEAN OUR
RUSTIC CATSKILLS COTTAGE?
WE'LL HAVE TO LIVE IN MANHATTAN
IF I'M TO CONQUER BROADWAY
AND JOIN THE RANKS OF
LENA HORNE, STREISAND
AND THE INCOMPARABLE
SANDY DUNCAN.
YEAH, BUT BABY, YOU
KNOW I HAD MY HEART SET
ON BUILDING US A LOG LOVE
BUNKER AMONGST THE BRAMBLES.
DARLING, I LOVE YOU,
BUT GIVE ME PARK AVENUE.
OH, HOLD UP.
OKAY, TELL YOU WHAT.
IF YOU BECOME THE
BELLE OF BROADWAY
WE'LL BE ABLE TO
AFFORD A HELICOPTER
THAT CAN FLY BETWEEN
OUR SWANKY APARTMENT
AND OUR RUSTIC RETREAT.
SO, WE CAN ENJOY THE
PENTHOUSE DURING THE WEEK
AND THE OUTHOUSE ON THE WEEKEND.
THERE YOU GO.
CRISIS SOLVED.
YES.
I'LL START LOOKING FOR
HELICOPTERS POSTHASTE.
AND MAKE SURE THERE'S ROOM
FOR OUR LOVEABLE ST. BERNARD.
ST. BERNARD?
GIRL, I DON'T WANT NO
BIG OLD RUM HOUND.
CHILD, WE GETTING A ROTTWEILER
TO PROTECT THIS FAMILY.
DEVIL DOG FROM THE OMEN?
WELL, CUJO WAS A SAINT
BERNARD LAST I CHECKED.
OH, COME ON, MAN.
ALL HE NEEDED WAS A RABIES SHOT.
YOU CAN'T GET A
SHOT FOR THE DEVIL.
HE COULDN'T HELP IT
IF HIS MASTER WAS THE
PRINCE OF DARKNESS.
I DON'T WANT NO
UGLY DOG... IT'S SCARY!
WHOO! BRAVA, MAXINE.
BRAVA.
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU COULD HOLD YOUR BREATH
UNDER WATER THAT LONG.
YEAH, I DIDN'T EVEN NEED THIS.
HEY, YOU WANT TO ORDER
SOME MORE ROOM SERVICE?
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
WHA‐WHA‐WHA‐WHAT?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I THINK I WENT
DEAF FOR A MINUTE.
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
I'M ACTUALLY QUITE SATISFIED.
OH.
I'M THAT GOOD, HUH?
♪ ...GIRL, I'M CRAVIN'
YOUR BODY ♪
♪ IS THIS REAL? ♪
WHERE IS THAT MUSIC COMING FROM?
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE THE WEDDING DOWNSTAIRS.
THE FOOD'S LOUSY.
AND YOU KNOW THIS HOW?
WELL WHILE YOU WERE NAPPING
I WENT DOWNSTAIRS
TO GET SOME ICE.
AND WANDERED INTO THE BALLROOM.
THEY HAD A GOOD D. J.
YEAH, IF YOU LIKE
THAT SMOOTH, SENSUAL
EROTIC KIND OF GROOVE.
I LIKE. I LIKE.
ARE YOU COLD OUT HERE?
NOT ME.
DID SOMEBODY TURN ON A HEATER?
SOMETHING'S ON.
WELL... IF IT ISN'T THE
UNWELCOME WAGON.
WHAT YOU PACKIN'?
A LITTLE PEACE OFFERING‐‐
WHITE CHOCOLATE
MACADAMIA NUT CHEESECAKE
WITH A PRETENTIOUS
RASPBERRY SWIRL.
WE ARE CERTAIN KYLE
WOULD WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
THANK YOU.
KYLE.
THE CURIOUSLY OUT‐OF‐TOWN‐
THIS‐WEEKEND KYLE.
TOKYO, IS IT?
YES, AND HE'S GOING
TO BE REALLY SURPRISED
WHEN REALIZES HE FORGOT
HIS COMBINATION VOLTAGE
CONVERTER‐SOCKET ADAPTER.
I SAW IT ON HIS DRESSER IN
HIS BEDROOM WHEN WE WERE...
DUSTING.
LEFT AN ESSENTIAL
ITEM AT HOME, DID HE?
WAS THERE ANYTHING ELSE UNUSUAL
ABOUT BARKER'S BEHAVIOR
ON THE DAY OF HIS DEPARTURE?
NO. NO, HE WAS REALLY
EXCITED ABOUT GOING.
WHICH IS STRANGE
BECAUSE HE HATES THAT
LONG FLIGHT TO TOKYO.
AND YOU JUST CONVENIENTLY
FORGOT THIS UNTIL NOW?
LOOK HERE EITHER
BOOK ME OR LET ME GO!
YOU'RE FREE TO GO
BUT DON'T YOU THINK
ABOUT LEAVING THIS BUILDING
IN CASE I HAVE OTHER QUESTIONS.
FINE. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
US, WE'LL BE UPSTAIRS...
MOPPING.
KYLE! IT'S KYLE!
KHADIJAH, DO YOU HEAR ME?
GIRL, IT'S KYLE!
FIRST OF ALL GET
THE HELL OFF OF ME.
SECOND OF ALL I DON'T CARE.
OH, YOU CARE, KHADIJAH
AND IF MY HUNCH IS RIGHT
THEY ARE SWEATING
UP SOME HOTEL ROOM...
RIGHT HERE IN NEW YORK CITY.
EVEN IF YOU WERE RIGHT
IT'S A THOUSAND
HOTELS IN NEW YORK.
WHAT, YOU GONNA GO
KNOCK ON EVERY DOOR
AND SAY, "KYLE, COME
OUT WITH YOUR PANTS UP."
THERE ARE ONLY EIGHT
HOTELS IN THE CITY
THAT MEETS KYLE'S STANDARDS.
I WILL CALL EACH ONE,
FLIRT WITH THE CONCIERGE
REGARDLESS OF GENDER...
AND THEN I'LL BUST IN
ON THEIR LITTLE SEX PARTY
AND I'LL SAY... "YOU'VE GOT
THE RIGHT TO REMAIN NEKKID."
OH, I GOT TO GET ME
A OUTFIT FOR THIS ONE.
YEAH, OBIE.
LISTEN, WHAT'S THAT ALIAS THAT
KYLE USED TO GET BACKSTAGE
AT THE MISS BLACK
AMERICA PAGEANT?
UH... UM... UH...
HENRI PIERPONT.
UH, HIS FAVORITE HOTEL?
THE ALEXANDRA.
THANKS, OBIE.
ALEXANDRA, ALEXANDRA...
UH‐HUH... UH‐HEH... EH‐HEH.
YES, ALEXANDRA HOTEL.
MAY I HAVE HENRI PIERPONT?
BONJOUR, THIS IS HENRI.
UH, BONJOUR?
BONJOUR, MY ASS!
UH, UH, MAXINE, MAXINE.
MAXINE, BABE.
WHAT, DADDY?
UH... I REALLY DO
LIKE YOUR TOUCH
BUT YOUR VISE GRIP IS
CUTTING OFF MY CIRCULATION.
EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO CUDDLE.
TURN OFF THAT DAMNED TV.
OH, I GOT A SUGGESTION FOR YOU:
WHY DON'T YOU PUT SOME SOCKS
ON THOSE COLD
CLAWS YOU CALL FEET?
OW!
AW, LOOK AT THAT.
YOU DONE DRAWN BLOOD.
OH, QUIT WHINING, YOU BIG BABY.
IS THIS GOING TO BE ONE
OF THOSE ARGUMENTS
THAT LEADS TO
SEX, 'CAUSE IF IT IS
LET'S JUST SKIP THE ARGUING.
NO! THIS IS ONE OF
THOSE ARGUMENTS
THAT LEADS ME TO TELLING YOU
WHAT A POMPOUS BORE YOU ARE.
OH, THAT'S IT.
YOU HAVE WORKED MY LAST NERVE.
NO, I HAVEN'T.
KYLE BARKER IS NOT IN TOKYO!
SARANARA.
IT HAS BECOME
PAINFULLY CLEAR TO ME
THAT A HUMAN BEING
CAN ONLY SPEND EXACTLY...
36 HOURS, 27 MINUTES
AND 17 SECONDS WITH YOU
WITHOUT ENTERTAINING
THOUGHTS OF VARIOUS FELONIES.
WELL, THE WAY YOU MAKE
LOVE IS HARDLY A MISDEMEANOR.
OH, NOW, SEE, THAT
WOULD HAVE STUNG
IF NOT A HALF AN HOUR
AGO, YOU WASN'T IN THAT BED
HOLLERING, "BREAK IT
DOWN, MR. STOCKBROKER."
B‐B‐BREAK IT DOWN."
BUT I PAID THE PENALTY
FOR EARLY WITHDRAWAL.
WHATEVER.
I'LL SEND THE BELLMAN
FOR MY THINGS.
I'M LEAVING TEN DOLLARS
ON THAT MINI‐BAR
FOR THE HOUSEKEEPER.
DO NOT‐‐ I REPEAT‐‐
DO NOT BUY CANDY.
A GIRL HAS TO HAVE SOMETHING
SWEET AFTER TWO DAYS WITH YOU.
NEXT TIME WE GET A
ROOM WITH A FIREPLACE.
AND A SOFTER BED.
YOU BOOK THE ROOM.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, KYLE?
YOU JUST REALIZE
THAT YOUR PAJAMAS
DO NOT MATCH YOUR OVERCOAT?
HELLO! COULD I BORROW
A CUP OF SUGAR?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DAMN!
DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DANG!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I JUST PASSED YOUR PARTNER
IN CRIME IN THE HALLWAY
BUT I DIPPED INTO THE
STAIRWELL BEFORE HE SAW ME.
SO...
WHEN DID YOU AND KYLE
GET BACK TOGETHER?
WE ARE NOT TOGETHER.
REALLY?
FANCY ROOM... HUH.
EMPTY CHAMPAGNE
BOTTLE... SEX LIGHTS.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
COME ON. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT DO YOU WANT HERE?
WELL, LOOK, I'M NOT TRYING TO BE
ALL UP IN YOUR
BUSINESS, BUT, UH...
REGINE IS HOT ON YOUR TRAIL
SO... I'M JUST TRYING
TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU.
THANKS.
HOW'D YOU FIND US?
WELL, I'M A JOURNALIST
AND A DAMNED GOOD ONE.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
SO, UH, WHY DID YOU AND...?
SO... WHY DID YOU AND
KYLE HOOK UP AGAIN?
YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I THINK IT'S A
REINCARNATION THING, YOU KNOW?
I THINK MAYBE I KILLED
HIM IN ANOTHER LIFE.
OR MAYBE HE REALLY
MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU.
PLEASE GET OFF IT.
THAT MAN IS LIKE AN ANGRY RASH
THAT JUST KEEPS COMING BACK
NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY
TO GET RID OF IT.
DAMN IF IT DON'T FEEL GOOD
TO SCRATCH IT SOMETIMES.
HA! TOO GOOD, TOO GOOD.
WELL, LOOK, WE BETTER
GET UP OUT OF HERE
BEFORE THAT BLOODHOUND
IN THE WIG SNIFFS YOU OUT.
TELL ME THAT'S NOT MY EGGBEATER.
YOU DON'T WANT IT BACK.
UGH!
OH, LOOK, DEAR‐‐ COMPANY.
HEY, KYLE, WHAT YOU DOING
HOME FROM TOKYO SO EARLY
AND WHY YOU WEARING PAJAMAS?
I GOT A QUESTION:
WHAT IS YOUR BED
DOING IN THE LIVING ROOM?
IT'S ALL PART OF OUR
COHABITATION EXPERIMENT.
SEE, BABY GIRL HERE
WANTED TO LAY IN BED
AND CUDDLE ALL DAY.
I FELT A BIT CRAMPED
IN MY SMALL QUARTERS
SO WE BROUGHT THE
MOUNTAIN TO MOHAMMED.
AND DOESN'T THE PROPHET
LOOK GOOD IN YOUR ROBE?
DRY CLEAN IT, RETURN IT
AND DISMANTLE THIS
SHANTY TOWN AT ONCE.
HEY, KYLE, WHY
DON'T YOU BRING ME
A HUNK OF THAT
COBBLER BACK, BABE?
OBIE... YOU PROMISED NO
MORE SWEETS BEFORE BED.
I'M SICK OF YOU
WAKING UP IN TEARS.
WELL, IT'S MY BED
AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO.
THAT'S A FINE ATTITUDE
FOR A HUSBAND.
YOU KNOW, GIRL
WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR TWO DAYS
AND ARGUED NO
LESS THAN SIX TIMES.
MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR US
TO TAKE A LITTLE STEP BACK
AND REALLY FIGURE OUT
IF WE READY FOR
THIS MARRIAGE THING.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
ON THE OTHER HAND
WE COULD AGREE THAT
MOST COUPLES ARGUE
AND IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY
LOVE EACH OTHER ANY LESS.
WHOO! THAT WAS CLOSE.
HOLD ME.
MADAM, THIS IS THE LAST
ROOM ON THIS FLOOR.
I MEAN, EXACTLY WHO IS
IT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
OH, MY GOODNESS.
I'VE NEVER SEEN AN HONOR
BAR PICKED SO CLEAN.
IT'S AS IF IT'S BEEN HOSED DOWN.
DAMN YOU, MAXINE SHAW.
I WILL FIND YOU
EVEN IF I HAVE TO WALK THE
FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH.
WHOO‐HOO!