Living Single (1993–1998): Season 4, Episode 15 - Back in the Day - full transcript
‐ Hold still. ‐ Oh, oh!
I swear, man, this is worse than
when I used to dress my
kitten in Barbie clothes.
You know, my German Shepherd
never got over
you dressin' him up.
Puttin' panties on a dog?
Hey, what's up, what's up, hey!
Who's got a pantyhose for me?
Uh, Regine has a brand
new pair on her bed.
Thanks.
Those are bulge‐away
body skimmers.
Now that'll be $12.95,
cash, no check.
You know, Khadijah
I couldn't be happier if
I was accepting the Li..
Oh, Linwood‐Hans
Journalism Award myself.
Hey, an award for me
is an award for Flavor.
So, since you work there,
it's almost like you gettin' it.
‐ Really? ‐ Mm‐hmm.
That means I can
keep it on my desk?
You touch it and you die.
Help me, I'm in..
What happened? What..
‐ What's wrong with
you? ‐ Get your tops.
‐ Oh, oh, God.
‐ I can't breathe.
‐ Uh‐huh, uh‐huh. ‐ Cut me.
‐ Take a deep
breath, breathe. ‐ No.
Try to breathe, try to breathe.
Oh!
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ And in a nineties
kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up what ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home‐girls
standing to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want ♪
♪ No free position ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Okay, I wanna be just
perfect when I go up there
to get my award.
Am I cool?
Oh, you look fabulous.
In fact, we all look fabulous.
It's amazing how we're
fighting off the ravages of time.
We've hardly changed.
I haven't changed at all.
No, I haven't. No, I haven't.
Yes.
Yes, you're still
single evil and deluded.
I'm gonna stab you
with this eyeliner.
‐ You see this? I'll slice you.
‐ Come on, come on, come on.
I'll take you, you can
have that Adam's apple.
Alright, come on,
come on, now, come on.
This is my night,
argue in your own time.
You're right.
At least we get along
better than we used to.
I remember when I swore
I'd never be in the same room
with tater tot again.
Oh, yes, the dark ages,
that chilly bitter month
when you lived with us.
And I went out with Kyle.
You went out with Kyle?
Strange, but true.
In fact, a lot of things were
strange back in the day.
Hey, hey.
‐ Roses for your beauty. ‐ Aw.
Tulips for your smile.
And, uh, uh, I don't
know what this one is
let's just say it
represents your mystery.
Aw. Thank you.
Regine, baby, parting
is such sweet sorrow.
And lookin' at
you is just sorrow.
Aw, dear, sweet Kyle,
he's so in love with me.
But who can blame him?
Give a sister a chance.
Yeah, well, thank
you for nothin'.
Brother.
That's the third bank
today that's turned me down
for a loan for my magazine.
Well, if you came up with a name
for your little
home‐girl gazette
I'm sure somebody
might take you seriously.
I took it so seriously, I came
up with a whole list of names.
‐ "Ebonyette." ‐ Alright.
"Essence of Brooklyn."
‐ "Afropolitan." ‐ Oh.
Can't believe these names
haven't been snapped up.
Care to join us? Ahem.
I am cooking an old‐fashioned
pancake breakfast
for my second favorite
roommate, Regine.
Uh, garnish.
Enjoy.
Thank you, Maxine.
What's with this
fake friendliness?
Not a drug in the world
could bring you to together.
Regine and I have called
a truce until I pass the bar.
I hope this truce lasts
longer than the last time.
You two shook hands
and ended up arm wrestling.
A battle, as I recall I won.
Only because you
put your boobs into it.
Just trying to compensate
for your mannish hands.
Mm, what flavor.
That's it! Flavor, that's what
I'm gonna call my magazine.
Now, I'm not exactly sure
how long the truce lasted
but by the time I got
home from my night job
it was too late to save
the TV or the drapes.
And who crashed through
the banister is still is a mystery.
Hey, guys, I got my loan
approved for "Flavor."
You make me sick!
You make me sick!
You make me sick!
You make me so sick!
You make me sick!
Oh, my God!
What else? What else
can I get you? What, uh..
Oh, sooky, sooky now!
Okay, alright, alright.
I'm gonna kill you!
I'm gonna kill you!
'Help!'
Help! Help!
Can I get some help
over here? Come on!
Oh! Oh!
Maxine, Maxine, stop.
That's not very lady
like. Come on, baby.
Oh, yeah? How about this?
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh, alright.
Alright, alright!
Now, hold up, y'all.
Come on, come on, now, look.
I'm trying to start
a magazine here.
Come on, man, I‐I‐I
don't have a dime
and y'all bustin' up
everything in the house.
My glass giraffe from nana.
Damn, damn, damn!
That's it.
Enough said. I'm mad now, mad.
One of y'all is moving
the hell out of here!
Hey! I was here first,
cow. You've gotta go!
I'm about to become
a successful attorney
that can afford her own place
while Regine will be left
to roam around the city
with "I will marry
for money" sign.
I'll kill you!
Ergo, I'll go.
Good, at least the toilet
seat won't be up all the time.
Touche.
Say uncle! Say uncle!
You better say uncle!
And they really put
sisterhood to the test.
Yeah, I still can't
believe her head
was harder than the banister.
You all look lovely,
even the succubus.
Come on, baby.
Out of my way, crouton.
Ow!
‐ Ooh! ‐ Oh! Oh!
Oh, you cow! I'mma
get you, I'mma get you!
‐ Got to catch me. ‐
You know somethin'?
There's a beauty
in their bitterness.
If Max hadn't moved out,
I couldn't have moved in.
Yeah, and if Kyle hadn't
invited me to move to New York
my heart would have
been in Minneapolis
and I wouldn't have known why.
Oh.
Overton?
You're doing such a
great job fixing my building.
I could just give you a deep
long, lingering kiss.
Um, I don't think that'd
be appropriate, Ms. Brooks.
You're right.
Let's have sex.
Kidding, just kidding.
Ooh!
Hey, would you like to
mosey over to my place
and have a cup of hot chocolate
with a touch of brandy?
Um, not while I'm working
uh, which I hope
to make full time.
Overton, you're hired.
And I'm not just saying that
because you have a cute tush.
There I go again.
I'm such a bad girl.
Um, Ms. Brooks, uh, look
my, uh, my tush and I thank you.
‐ See you. Gotta go. ‐ Uh‐huh.
Yeah.
‐ Hey, what's up, man? ‐ Oh.
You're look at the Brownstone's
new full time handyman.
Alright, congratulations.
That's right, that's right.
You know, I decided to, um
nip my involvement with
Regine in the bud, man.
What?
She does nothin' but talk about
herself all the time.
You cannot imagine
how annoying that is.
Mm, yes, I can.
Kyle.
Let me make this
plain, honey. It's over.
I got asked out by a
guy who's already there
not just on his way.
Now, I hope that we can remain
after you're totally
over me friends.
Um, Regine, darling,
crushed as I am
um, I'm sure that
I'll get over you
long before you
get over yourself.
Ah, ah, ah, Khadijah's
not home, go away.
Go away.
I just came to pick
up some law books
and some doughnuts
I left here last month.
Oh. Hello, Brooklyn!
Oh, my Lord!
‐ Oh. ‐ Woo‐hoo.
Hey, everybody, this
is my cousin, Synclaire.
Hi, nice to meet you.
You know our college
roommate Max, right?
‐ Yes, hello, hi. ‐ Welcome.
I enjoyed all the cookies
you sent Khadijah in college.
‐ Thank you. ‐ Oh.
She's a hungry one.
‐ Hello. ‐ This is
our neighbor, Kyle.
‐ How do? ‐ Gotham greet you.
And your gargantuan
friend there.
Funny people, okay.
And this is his
roommate, Overton.
Hi, hello.
And he is our building's
resident handyman
and he is ridiculously
pleased to meet you.
Wow, the handyman
lives in the building.
How handy.
Might you help me with
my troll Crispus Attucks?
Thank you.
Come on, Khadijah, I'm home.
Yeah, let‐let's
get this stuff in
before somebody sees me with it.
Shorty, today I met
the woman I'mma marry.
You said that after you
and Melody broke up.
You swore off women.
That's not just a woman.
That right there is
my baby's mama.
And as I pulled
Crispus from the jeep
and he pinned me to the ground
then I realized this
was the beginning
of a beautiful relationship.
‐ Oh. ‐ Oh.
Sorry, folks, we've got a flat.
Uh, in the immortal
words of Boys 2 Men.
"This is the end of the road."
Bump that, I'm
making a run for it.
The ceremony
starts in a half an hour
and I'll be damned if
I don't get my award
because of this stretch lemon.
Alright, hold on, we'll
just, we'll just catch a cab.
Six black people in
the middle of the night.
Why don't we just
send up a signal
and wait for the Bat Mobile?
Alright, now, alright,
everybody just relax.
I mean, come on.
With this leg, oh please.
I can get a cab in seconds.
What are you gonna do, trip it?
Look, y'all, there's a subway
station right over there.
We take the express, we'll
be uptown in seven minutes.
And if my boy Slappy's
the motorman, five.
‐ Let's bounce. ‐
Let's roll, let's roll.
Hold up, you are all forgetting
you're with Regine Hunter.
And there are two
things I do not do.
Go Dutch and ride the subway.
Well, you and your
leg can stay in here
'cause I'm going to get mine.
Thanks to you, I'm gonna be late
to the most important
night of my life.
Well, who would have
thought that a limo company
called Easy Ed's Deluxe
Rides would be so cheesy?
The naked woman on the mud flap
should've been
the first tip off.
Hey, y'all, quit trippin'
on my baby now.
'Cause you know in
your hearts you're glad
you didn't send her
back to Minnesota
like you were planning
way back when.
‐ What? ‐ Oh, yeah, girl.
You was on your way.
Ah! What the hell?
Damn demon dolls are everywhere!
And that Crispus
Attucks is the worst!
I swear that thing follows
me around with its eyes
when I'm gettin' dressed.
Don't flatter yourself, Regine.
Crispus is not a peepin' troll.
Come on now, hey, when we
agreed to let Synclaire move in
we knew what we were gettin'.
She got a big heart.
So what if she's
a little bugged?
‐ Synclaire! ‐ Huh?
Tell me those are not the
notes for my first cover story?
Is that what you wanna hear?
Oh, but I'll have these
back together lickety split.
And, uh, oh, yeah, I'll have the
fax machine fixed by tomorrow.
Uh, after the electricity
comes back on.
You..
That's it.
Heads, we send her stuff.
Tails, I'mma help you pack.
No!
Come on, Khadijah, don't
you think sending Synclaire
back home is a little harsh?
I mean, how about the way
she bakes cookies for you
after a hard day
of furnish repair?
Or how she always has an
extra sheet of fabric softener
when you coincidentally do
your laundry every Sunday?
How about that, huh?
Guess who I ran over on the
way back from the coffee shop?
Come here.
Do you have a couple of
aspirin and a body cast?
Coming right up!
Kareem Abdul‐Jabbar.
Mr. Skyhook.
Man, I had a pair of those
those fish bowl goggles
just like you had
in high school.
Did it help your game any?
No, but I was the
sharpest dressed
welder in shop class.
Here you go.
Kareem, I'd like
you to meet Khadijah
the publisher of Flavor.
Khadijah, this is Kareem
your first cover story.
‐ What? For real? ‐ Yes.
Oh, you've got a job
for life, cuz, thank you.
You know, if it weren't
for that interview.
Flavor might not be on the map.
Attention, passengers.
We have a small
mechanical problem.
We should be movin' in no
more than an hour and a half.
Oh, what the hell!
Come on, train,
don't play me like this.
Where do you think you're
going? We're in a tunnel.
The thought of being
stuck next to you
uh, frightens me. Excuse me.
That's it.
We're not gonna make it.
I'm not gonna get my award.
‐ Oh, now, come on,
Khadijah. ‐ I won't get the award.
That award ceremonys,
that's about some stuffed shirts
in a, in a banquet.
I mean Flavor's
about the people.
That's right.
The college student.
'Or the young
struggling mother.'
'Or the businessman with
the questionable hair piece.'
‐ Hey, these are
your readers. ‐ Hey.
You publish Flavor magazine?
I love that magazine.
I'm wearin' it right now.
See, Khadijah? Your
work touches everyone, oh.
Oh, holy cow.
Holy cow, it's Holyfield.
Man, that fight
was off the hook.
Man, you put the fear
of God in Mike Tyson.
Well, that fear
everyone should have.
Well, praise him, praise him!
Excuse me, Mr. Holyfield,
I understand you won
$11 million on your last fight.
Should you need a
good stock broker.
Alrighty then.
What are you doing
riding the subway?
It's fast and who gonna mug me?
Oh, shoot.
Not, not without no gun.
Mr. Holyfield, I understand
that you have recently built
a 55,000 square foot mansion.
So, tell me, how's the marriage?
‐ Made in heaven. ‐
Oh, I'm very happy for you.
We're movin'!
Look at these clowns.
They squeeze
themselves into a tuxedo
and they think
they're James Bond.
It's been a while, Dr. No.
So long you're
starting to look good.
Maybe you're just
starting to see straight.
I have to admit
that I am so excited
to present this next,
most prestigious award
to an innovative and
insightful young journalist.
It's hard to believe that
not too many years ago
she was my intern
at Essence magazine.
'Well, now it's my pleasure,
ladies and gentlemen'
'to honor tonight, the
founder and the editor'
'of Flavor magazine,
Khadijah James.'
Thank you so much,
Susan, for your inspiration.
I would like to thank the
committee for this honor.
I share this award
with my mother
who isn't here
because my cousin
booked her a limo
so God knows where she is.
I booked Budget
Benito's. Who knew?
I also share this award
with the crew of Flavor.
Couldn't do it without you guys.
And my friends,
for supporting me
through all the madness.
Making jelly bean pyramids
for me to cheer me up.
'Checking my wardrobe, to
make sure it was tasteful, yet fly.'
'Offering me financial
advice, legal counselling'
'and a certain home spun wisdom'
'whether I wanted it or not.'
Guys, I love y'all.
Thank you so much.
Oh, look at that, look at that.
You know something? I
had a really good time tonight.
Yeah, it was fun,
getting all dressed up
and lunging into
Evander Holyfield.
Carrying your award
all the way home
pretending it was
that Junior Miss trophy
them judges stole from me.
Gave it to that moon‐faced
heifer from Asbury Park.
Just 'cause she rescued
a bull load of campers.
Girl, give me that, give
me that. Move back.
‐ Uh‐oh, not my
jam ‐ Your jam, girl.
‐ Not my jam! ‐ It's your jam.
Not my jam!
♪ Got sunshine ♪
Ooh, ooh, me too, me too.
♪ On a cloudy day ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ And it was cold outside ♪
♪ I've got the month of May ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Oh I ♪
♪ I guess you could say ♪
♪ What could you say baby? ♪
♪ I guess you could say ♪
♪ Make me feel this way ♪
♪ Makes me feel this way ♪
♪ My girls my girls my girls ♪
♪ I'm talkin' 'bout my girls ♪
♪ Break it down ♪
♪ My girls ♪
Woo‐hoo!
I swear, man, this is worse than
when I used to dress my
kitten in Barbie clothes.
You know, my German Shepherd
never got over
you dressin' him up.
Puttin' panties on a dog?
Hey, what's up, what's up, hey!
Who's got a pantyhose for me?
Uh, Regine has a brand
new pair on her bed.
Thanks.
Those are bulge‐away
body skimmers.
Now that'll be $12.95,
cash, no check.
You know, Khadijah
I couldn't be happier if
I was accepting the Li..
Oh, Linwood‐Hans
Journalism Award myself.
Hey, an award for me
is an award for Flavor.
So, since you work there,
it's almost like you gettin' it.
‐ Really? ‐ Mm‐hmm.
That means I can
keep it on my desk?
You touch it and you die.
Help me, I'm in..
What happened? What..
‐ What's wrong with
you? ‐ Get your tops.
‐ Oh, oh, God.
‐ I can't breathe.
‐ Uh‐huh, uh‐huh. ‐ Cut me.
‐ Take a deep
breath, breathe. ‐ No.
Try to breathe, try to breathe.
Oh!
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ And in a nineties
kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up what ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home‐girls
standing to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want ♪
♪ No free position ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Okay, I wanna be just
perfect when I go up there
to get my award.
Am I cool?
Oh, you look fabulous.
In fact, we all look fabulous.
It's amazing how we're
fighting off the ravages of time.
We've hardly changed.
I haven't changed at all.
No, I haven't. No, I haven't.
Yes.
Yes, you're still
single evil and deluded.
I'm gonna stab you
with this eyeliner.
‐ You see this? I'll slice you.
‐ Come on, come on, come on.
I'll take you, you can
have that Adam's apple.
Alright, come on,
come on, now, come on.
This is my night,
argue in your own time.
You're right.
At least we get along
better than we used to.
I remember when I swore
I'd never be in the same room
with tater tot again.
Oh, yes, the dark ages,
that chilly bitter month
when you lived with us.
And I went out with Kyle.
You went out with Kyle?
Strange, but true.
In fact, a lot of things were
strange back in the day.
Hey, hey.
‐ Roses for your beauty. ‐ Aw.
Tulips for your smile.
And, uh, uh, I don't
know what this one is
let's just say it
represents your mystery.
Aw. Thank you.
Regine, baby, parting
is such sweet sorrow.
And lookin' at
you is just sorrow.
Aw, dear, sweet Kyle,
he's so in love with me.
But who can blame him?
Give a sister a chance.
Yeah, well, thank
you for nothin'.
Brother.
That's the third bank
today that's turned me down
for a loan for my magazine.
Well, if you came up with a name
for your little
home‐girl gazette
I'm sure somebody
might take you seriously.
I took it so seriously, I came
up with a whole list of names.
‐ "Ebonyette." ‐ Alright.
"Essence of Brooklyn."
‐ "Afropolitan." ‐ Oh.
Can't believe these names
haven't been snapped up.
Care to join us? Ahem.
I am cooking an old‐fashioned
pancake breakfast
for my second favorite
roommate, Regine.
Uh, garnish.
Enjoy.
Thank you, Maxine.
What's with this
fake friendliness?
Not a drug in the world
could bring you to together.
Regine and I have called
a truce until I pass the bar.
I hope this truce lasts
longer than the last time.
You two shook hands
and ended up arm wrestling.
A battle, as I recall I won.
Only because you
put your boobs into it.
Just trying to compensate
for your mannish hands.
Mm, what flavor.
That's it! Flavor, that's what
I'm gonna call my magazine.
Now, I'm not exactly sure
how long the truce lasted
but by the time I got
home from my night job
it was too late to save
the TV or the drapes.
And who crashed through
the banister is still is a mystery.
Hey, guys, I got my loan
approved for "Flavor."
You make me sick!
You make me sick!
You make me sick!
You make me so sick!
You make me sick!
Oh, my God!
What else? What else
can I get you? What, uh..
Oh, sooky, sooky now!
Okay, alright, alright.
I'm gonna kill you!
I'm gonna kill you!
'Help!'
Help! Help!
Can I get some help
over here? Come on!
Oh! Oh!
Maxine, Maxine, stop.
That's not very lady
like. Come on, baby.
Oh, yeah? How about this?
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh, alright.
Alright, alright!
Now, hold up, y'all.
Come on, come on, now, look.
I'm trying to start
a magazine here.
Come on, man, I‐I‐I
don't have a dime
and y'all bustin' up
everything in the house.
My glass giraffe from nana.
Damn, damn, damn!
That's it.
Enough said. I'm mad now, mad.
One of y'all is moving
the hell out of here!
Hey! I was here first,
cow. You've gotta go!
I'm about to become
a successful attorney
that can afford her own place
while Regine will be left
to roam around the city
with "I will marry
for money" sign.
I'll kill you!
Ergo, I'll go.
Good, at least the toilet
seat won't be up all the time.
Touche.
Say uncle! Say uncle!
You better say uncle!
And they really put
sisterhood to the test.
Yeah, I still can't
believe her head
was harder than the banister.
You all look lovely,
even the succubus.
Come on, baby.
Out of my way, crouton.
Ow!
‐ Ooh! ‐ Oh! Oh!
Oh, you cow! I'mma
get you, I'mma get you!
‐ Got to catch me. ‐
You know somethin'?
There's a beauty
in their bitterness.
If Max hadn't moved out,
I couldn't have moved in.
Yeah, and if Kyle hadn't
invited me to move to New York
my heart would have
been in Minneapolis
and I wouldn't have known why.
Oh.
Overton?
You're doing such a
great job fixing my building.
I could just give you a deep
long, lingering kiss.
Um, I don't think that'd
be appropriate, Ms. Brooks.
You're right.
Let's have sex.
Kidding, just kidding.
Ooh!
Hey, would you like to
mosey over to my place
and have a cup of hot chocolate
with a touch of brandy?
Um, not while I'm working
uh, which I hope
to make full time.
Overton, you're hired.
And I'm not just saying that
because you have a cute tush.
There I go again.
I'm such a bad girl.
Um, Ms. Brooks, uh, look
my, uh, my tush and I thank you.
‐ See you. Gotta go. ‐ Uh‐huh.
Yeah.
‐ Hey, what's up, man? ‐ Oh.
You're look at the Brownstone's
new full time handyman.
Alright, congratulations.
That's right, that's right.
You know, I decided to, um
nip my involvement with
Regine in the bud, man.
What?
She does nothin' but talk about
herself all the time.
You cannot imagine
how annoying that is.
Mm, yes, I can.
Kyle.
Let me make this
plain, honey. It's over.
I got asked out by a
guy who's already there
not just on his way.
Now, I hope that we can remain
after you're totally
over me friends.
Um, Regine, darling,
crushed as I am
um, I'm sure that
I'll get over you
long before you
get over yourself.
Ah, ah, ah, Khadijah's
not home, go away.
Go away.
I just came to pick
up some law books
and some doughnuts
I left here last month.
Oh. Hello, Brooklyn!
Oh, my Lord!
‐ Oh. ‐ Woo‐hoo.
Hey, everybody, this
is my cousin, Synclaire.
Hi, nice to meet you.
You know our college
roommate Max, right?
‐ Yes, hello, hi. ‐ Welcome.
I enjoyed all the cookies
you sent Khadijah in college.
‐ Thank you. ‐ Oh.
She's a hungry one.
‐ Hello. ‐ This is
our neighbor, Kyle.
‐ How do? ‐ Gotham greet you.
And your gargantuan
friend there.
Funny people, okay.
And this is his
roommate, Overton.
Hi, hello.
And he is our building's
resident handyman
and he is ridiculously
pleased to meet you.
Wow, the handyman
lives in the building.
How handy.
Might you help me with
my troll Crispus Attucks?
Thank you.
Come on, Khadijah, I'm home.
Yeah, let‐let's
get this stuff in
before somebody sees me with it.
Shorty, today I met
the woman I'mma marry.
You said that after you
and Melody broke up.
You swore off women.
That's not just a woman.
That right there is
my baby's mama.
And as I pulled
Crispus from the jeep
and he pinned me to the ground
then I realized this
was the beginning
of a beautiful relationship.
‐ Oh. ‐ Oh.
Sorry, folks, we've got a flat.
Uh, in the immortal
words of Boys 2 Men.
"This is the end of the road."
Bump that, I'm
making a run for it.
The ceremony
starts in a half an hour
and I'll be damned if
I don't get my award
because of this stretch lemon.
Alright, hold on, we'll
just, we'll just catch a cab.
Six black people in
the middle of the night.
Why don't we just
send up a signal
and wait for the Bat Mobile?
Alright, now, alright,
everybody just relax.
I mean, come on.
With this leg, oh please.
I can get a cab in seconds.
What are you gonna do, trip it?
Look, y'all, there's a subway
station right over there.
We take the express, we'll
be uptown in seven minutes.
And if my boy Slappy's
the motorman, five.
‐ Let's bounce. ‐
Let's roll, let's roll.
Hold up, you are all forgetting
you're with Regine Hunter.
And there are two
things I do not do.
Go Dutch and ride the subway.
Well, you and your
leg can stay in here
'cause I'm going to get mine.
Thanks to you, I'm gonna be late
to the most important
night of my life.
Well, who would have
thought that a limo company
called Easy Ed's Deluxe
Rides would be so cheesy?
The naked woman on the mud flap
should've been
the first tip off.
Hey, y'all, quit trippin'
on my baby now.
'Cause you know in
your hearts you're glad
you didn't send her
back to Minnesota
like you were planning
way back when.
‐ What? ‐ Oh, yeah, girl.
You was on your way.
Ah! What the hell?
Damn demon dolls are everywhere!
And that Crispus
Attucks is the worst!
I swear that thing follows
me around with its eyes
when I'm gettin' dressed.
Don't flatter yourself, Regine.
Crispus is not a peepin' troll.
Come on now, hey, when we
agreed to let Synclaire move in
we knew what we were gettin'.
She got a big heart.
So what if she's
a little bugged?
‐ Synclaire! ‐ Huh?
Tell me those are not the
notes for my first cover story?
Is that what you wanna hear?
Oh, but I'll have these
back together lickety split.
And, uh, oh, yeah, I'll have the
fax machine fixed by tomorrow.
Uh, after the electricity
comes back on.
You..
That's it.
Heads, we send her stuff.
Tails, I'mma help you pack.
No!
Come on, Khadijah, don't
you think sending Synclaire
back home is a little harsh?
I mean, how about the way
she bakes cookies for you
after a hard day
of furnish repair?
Or how she always has an
extra sheet of fabric softener
when you coincidentally do
your laundry every Sunday?
How about that, huh?
Guess who I ran over on the
way back from the coffee shop?
Come here.
Do you have a couple of
aspirin and a body cast?
Coming right up!
Kareem Abdul‐Jabbar.
Mr. Skyhook.
Man, I had a pair of those
those fish bowl goggles
just like you had
in high school.
Did it help your game any?
No, but I was the
sharpest dressed
welder in shop class.
Here you go.
Kareem, I'd like
you to meet Khadijah
the publisher of Flavor.
Khadijah, this is Kareem
your first cover story.
‐ What? For real? ‐ Yes.
Oh, you've got a job
for life, cuz, thank you.
You know, if it weren't
for that interview.
Flavor might not be on the map.
Attention, passengers.
We have a small
mechanical problem.
We should be movin' in no
more than an hour and a half.
Oh, what the hell!
Come on, train,
don't play me like this.
Where do you think you're
going? We're in a tunnel.
The thought of being
stuck next to you
uh, frightens me. Excuse me.
That's it.
We're not gonna make it.
I'm not gonna get my award.
‐ Oh, now, come on,
Khadijah. ‐ I won't get the award.
That award ceremonys,
that's about some stuffed shirts
in a, in a banquet.
I mean Flavor's
about the people.
That's right.
The college student.
'Or the young
struggling mother.'
'Or the businessman with
the questionable hair piece.'
‐ Hey, these are
your readers. ‐ Hey.
You publish Flavor magazine?
I love that magazine.
I'm wearin' it right now.
See, Khadijah? Your
work touches everyone, oh.
Oh, holy cow.
Holy cow, it's Holyfield.
Man, that fight
was off the hook.
Man, you put the fear
of God in Mike Tyson.
Well, that fear
everyone should have.
Well, praise him, praise him!
Excuse me, Mr. Holyfield,
I understand you won
$11 million on your last fight.
Should you need a
good stock broker.
Alrighty then.
What are you doing
riding the subway?
It's fast and who gonna mug me?
Oh, shoot.
Not, not without no gun.
Mr. Holyfield, I understand
that you have recently built
a 55,000 square foot mansion.
So, tell me, how's the marriage?
‐ Made in heaven. ‐
Oh, I'm very happy for you.
We're movin'!
Look at these clowns.
They squeeze
themselves into a tuxedo
and they think
they're James Bond.
It's been a while, Dr. No.
So long you're
starting to look good.
Maybe you're just
starting to see straight.
I have to admit
that I am so excited
to present this next,
most prestigious award
to an innovative and
insightful young journalist.
It's hard to believe that
not too many years ago
she was my intern
at Essence magazine.
'Well, now it's my pleasure,
ladies and gentlemen'
'to honor tonight, the
founder and the editor'
'of Flavor magazine,
Khadijah James.'
Thank you so much,
Susan, for your inspiration.
I would like to thank the
committee for this honor.
I share this award
with my mother
who isn't here
because my cousin
booked her a limo
so God knows where she is.
I booked Budget
Benito's. Who knew?
I also share this award
with the crew of Flavor.
Couldn't do it without you guys.
And my friends,
for supporting me
through all the madness.
Making jelly bean pyramids
for me to cheer me up.
'Checking my wardrobe, to
make sure it was tasteful, yet fly.'
'Offering me financial
advice, legal counselling'
'and a certain home spun wisdom'
'whether I wanted it or not.'
Guys, I love y'all.
Thank you so much.
Oh, look at that, look at that.
You know something? I
had a really good time tonight.
Yeah, it was fun,
getting all dressed up
and lunging into
Evander Holyfield.
Carrying your award
all the way home
pretending it was
that Junior Miss trophy
them judges stole from me.
Gave it to that moon‐faced
heifer from Asbury Park.
Just 'cause she rescued
a bull load of campers.
Girl, give me that, give
me that. Move back.
‐ Uh‐oh, not my
jam ‐ Your jam, girl.
‐ Not my jam! ‐ It's your jam.
Not my jam!
♪ Got sunshine ♪
Ooh, ooh, me too, me too.
♪ On a cloudy day ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ And it was cold outside ♪
♪ I've got the month of May ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Oh I ♪
♪ I guess you could say ♪
♪ What could you say baby? ♪
♪ I guess you could say ♪
♪ Make me feel this way ♪
♪ Makes me feel this way ♪
♪ My girls my girls my girls ♪
♪ I'm talkin' 'bout my girls ♪
♪ Break it down ♪
♪ My girls ♪
Woo‐hoo!