Living Single (1993–1998): Season 4, Episode 1 - The Engagement: Part 2 - full transcript
(Overton) Previously
on "Living Single."
This is the ring I
designed for my Synclaire.
Oh, you designed it.
It's like no other engagement
ring you ever seen.
Russell, what are
you doin' here?
Well, I was in the neighborhood
and we're being sued for libel.
What?
Remember my article on
that new band, Belching Yams?
I wrote there could be
no denying their song.
"Everybody has a Nipple"
was a rip off of Barry
Manilow's "Mandy."
Well, it seems
there's some denyin' it.
The Borough Alderman
elections are being held next month
and the incumbent Paul
Malaba has been a disaster.
Will you carry the torch
of democracy for us?
Sure.
(all) Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!
And Regine! And Regine!
You gotta focus on the, on
your good points, you know.
Focus on things like, what
good taste you have in women.
You delicate flower.
I didn't know you cared!
(man on TV) 'Maxine Shaw,
the so called nympho candidate'
'and her steamy
ties to Kyle Barker'
'a rising Wall Street
funds manager.'
Gimme all your valuable
stuff or you're dead.
Overton, give that
man anything he wants.
Thanks, brother. Whoo!
I'll be right back, Synclaire.
Just remember
that, um, I love you.
‐ Come on, girl.
‐ I love you too.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Oh in a 90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up what ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Hi, I'm Synclaire,
your waitress.
Can I get you some coffee.
Or perhaps some
cheese or some cake?
Maybe some coffee cheese
cake? Maybe some‐‐.
Synclaire, you have
gone from trippin'
to a full vacation.
Now, honey, please,
sit down, okay.
The police said
that they would call
as soon as they heard anything.
No‐no, I've got
to stay in character
to keep my mind off Obie.
Uh, so what will it be, miss?
Alright, I'll have a
large nonfat milk.
Um‐hm, one tall Kate Moss.
White and skinny.
[doorbell ringing]
[Synclaire mumbling]
‐ Oh, Obie, thank God! ‐ Hey!
‐ Hey! ‐ There
you are, you okay?
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Everybody this is Officer Solis.
‐ NYPD.. ‐ Okay.
Mounted unit.
I was so worried, what
happened? Tell me everything‐‐.
Look‐look‐look, if‐if you
people don't keep it down
somebody's gonna
call the poli.. See.
Kyle, we were
mugged in Central Park.
‐ No, man! ‐ Yeah!
And I took off after the
mugger on horseback.
Let me tell you, nothin' like
riding a horse at full gallop
hooves pounding,
leather slappin'
me wishin' I would've
wore my athletic supporter.
Yeah, and then the horse
caught up with the mugger
held him down for the cops.
With our job done she just kinda
dumped me off in the rosebush.
Mr. Jones was so ensnarled
we had to use the
pruning sheers of life.
Well, did you find
the man's valuables?
Oh, nearly lost my valuables
ridin' the damn horse.
All we found on the
suspect was a handgun
but we're searching
the area, little lady.
Oh, it's good to know
the posse is on it, horse.
That never fails.
The equestrian police,
we get no respect.
I'm sure any cop can lock
himself up inside a cruiser
and call for backup.
But me, I'm out
there every night
puttin' my horse's
ass on the line.
Well, Obie, you've had
a terrible, terrible time.
Just glad the night's not
over yet, my electric horseman.
Well, uh, that's where
you're wrong, my beloved
'cause if I don't
get some rest soon
I may never be able
to saddle up again.
And if I don't get
my eight hours
I'll look like the average man.
[whispering] Come here.
So‐so‐so, listen, man,
did the mugger get the,
get the ring? Oh!
Man, I didn't get a chance
to pop the question?
Damn. Well‐well, look,
let's go back to the park, man
and look for it.
Kyle, Central Park, 2:00 a. m.?
You'll be killed.
Well, good.
Have you seen the evening news?
I'm practically the running
mate of Maverick Max
the nympho candidate.
Ugh.
Kinda ironic.
I can't get with Synclaire and
you can't get away from Max.
I guess into each life
a little rain must fall.
Well, sure, he gets sprinkles.
I get Hurricane Maxine.
Come on, Khadijah,
we're gonna be late.
I'm not goin' in today.
Max is bringin'
over a liable lawyer
to talk about this
Belching Yams lawsuit.
And I do not want the staff to
know how much trouble we're in.
Great, then I can stay
home and watch TV.
Rosie O'Donnell is
interviewing Oprah
and then they're gonna switch.
You are goin' into the office
and act as if nothing is wrong.
Ah, so everyone will
think everything's normal.
Well, not normal, but, you know
the way things are
when you around.
Oh, I'm on it, chief.
[doorbell ringing]
Hello, Khadijah. Synclaire.
What lawsuit?
Max and her friend
aren't here yet.
Just have a seat,
I'll be right back.
So, Khadijah, when
did we get a doggy door?
Don't worry,
depressed under D cup.
I'm here to see Khadijah.
We're tryin' to
save the magazine.
Oh!
[sighs]
On the other hand
to hell with "Flavor."
Alright, listen,
I've been thinkin'.
And, I want us to agree
that what happened last night
never happened.
Agreed!
What are we talkin' about?
Oh, that's excellent.
You see, no one has to
ever know about the kiss.
Oh.
Oh, that.
Yeah, I‐I know it won't be easy.
No problem at all.
Though you have to
admit it was some kiss.
Like a thousand others.
Oh, get off it, Russell.
Now, you know damn well that
there was a spark in that kiss.
A‐a‐a volatile
chemistry, pure passion!
I've forgotten all about it
and you better do the same!
Just the way I like her.
Chesty and testy.
[doorbell ringing]
Khadijah James. Del Stuart.
Del is a great liable lawyer and
the best negotiator in the city.
Would you like some coffee?
Espresso.
I don't have espresso, how
about some regular coffee?
‐ Drip? ‐ Yes.
Alright. I'll accept the drip
if you throw in an Oreo.
No name chocolate
sandwich cookie.
You're lucky I'm in a good mood.
Look‐look, I can't stay.
I gotta go, I gotta go, girl.
I gotta go dig up some
dirt on Paul Malaba.
Regine! You are my
campaign manager.
Can you manage
to help me with this?
No, dear, ex‐campaign manager.
See, because of you
my woman's group has
pulled their endorsement
and shunned me.
Just because of a little heat.
Uh, Max, I would
not call it a little heat.
When Playboy offers you
$5000 to be in their photo spread.
"Ladies Of The
Immoral Majority."
Well, if they don't
make the five grand
and Adopt‐A‐Highway
I'd be stupid not to do it.
Uh, remember you can see them
they can't see you.
Speak as you were instructed.
Um, give me all
your valuable stuff
or you're dead.
Give me all your valuable
stuff or you're dead.
I say, give me all
your valuable stuff
or I'll give you
the old "what for?"
Don't be a wise
guy, number three.
Gimme all your valuable
stuff or you're dead.
That's him! That's the guy!
(Synclaire) 'Oh, Obie,
are you positive?'
Yeah, I know, that's
him. I'm positive.
‐ Him. That guy! ‐ Good.
You..
[gabbering]
Ohh! Get me at
him! Get me at him!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
But you don't know what
kind of life I've had, lady.
Abandoned by my mom and dad.
Raised in an orphanage.
Fed nothing but one
stinking bowl of gruel a day.
And then I fell in with
a band of pickpockets.
I remember Fagan. He led a‐‐.
Oh, bro, that's "Oliver Twist."
I knew it sounded familiar.
Get me at him! Get me at
him! I'll tear you limb for limb!
Oh, Obie, I'm mad.
I'm mad, you see!
Alright, Khadijah.
I have evaluated the lawsuit
from every conceivable angle
and I've arrived at
a studied conclusion.
Break it down for me.
Certainly.
You lose.
[sighs] Isn't there
anything we can do?
Yeah, settle outta court
and, uh, as a gesture
of good faith, fire Russell.
You're fired. Uh‐huh.
I know how hard
that was for you.
But there's no need
to fire me. I'll quit.
Alright, now, I want you
to meet with the Yams
and their attorney right
here, it'll make you seem warm
human, that kind of crap.
‐ I can pull that off.
‐ Excellent. Excellent.
Alright, I guess I can get
the Yams to walk away
from this for, uh,
little as $10,000.
Ten Gs.
Where am I supposed to get that?
I presume the same place
you're getting my $5000 fee.
Well, then that's it.
Whether we got
to court or settle
that's the end of "Flavor."
It's a bitter pill.
Khadijah, I don't know what
to say. I wish there was‐‐.
Tsk, forget it, Russell.
It's not the end of the world.
I can deal with it.
I guess I just gotta be strong.
[crying]
Alright. Alright.
Wait, it's your fault.
Hm.
I guess this was a
little self‐indulgent.
Shee.
Oh, God!
Hey, been tryin' to reach
you for over an hour.
Your phone's not workin'.
I got tired of talkin'
to reporters about
Paul Malaba's latest allegation.
What, did they find out
about the time we went
to the stock exchange
and you said that
my Dow Jones was
more than average?
[chuckles]
No.
He made up some wild
story that I was seen nude
at some costume party in 1991.
I was dressed as Nero.
You try cinching up a
toga with a beer in one hand
and a stogie in the other.
Hey, you know the real
tragedy is that my name has been
linked to yours in the media.
‐ Oh, you slimy piece
of‐‐ ‐ Oh, ja, va, ja, hush.
Now, you need to
know that I am working
a Wall Street contact
who has evidence
of Malaba's misuse
of government funds.
For real?
I'm on my way to his
office in a few minutes.
Well, if I could get
evidence like that
to the media,
Malaba is finished.
So, you think you can call a
press conference for tonight.
[phone ringing]
Maxine Shaw.
Oh, hello, Miller.
How are things at the
diaper you call a newspaper?
Yeah, well, chill the
freak out, Miller, look
I'm callin' a press conference
at 7:00 p. M. At which
I will respond to
Mr. Malaba's charges
with a shocking
development of my own.
Be here. And ride the maverick.
Ah, thank you, Kyle.
You know, I guess it's true.
Politics do make
strange bedfellows.
[chuckles]
Maxine Shaw, you
were a strange bedfellow
long before politics.
Now, how long will this
little Q and A gonna take?
Uh, just a few questions
and you'll be out
of here in a jiffy.
‐ Last name? ‐ Jones.
No, if I were an O..
Where would I hide.
Well, you know
something officer.
I'm a professional secretary
why don't you scoot
on over and I'll have
these forms done toot sweet.
‐ Yeah. Come on, mama. ‐ Yeah.
Alright.
Oh‐oh, wait now, that's a zero.
Just let that dry.
And therefore we see no
need to drag this minor matter
before a jury.
Are you suggesting my clients
put aside their sense of justice
in exchange for money?
Because it's a mighty
good suggestion.
How much are we talkin' about?
As a symbolic gesture
we're willing to offer $500.
‐ A 150,000. ‐ 10,000.
I'm good to go.
[indecipherable squeaking]
Can we get on some
kinda payment plan?
Say 48.50 a month
for the next 17 years.
Here they are, man.
The Belching Yams.
The Belching rotting
festering, Manilow
stealing Yams.
Russell, are you drunk?
Because that will numb the pain
when I snatch them
hairs off your chest.
Wait, man. Wait.
I knew these gaseous sweet
potatoes were rip‐off artists.
So, I spent the last five
hours in a recording studio
analyzing the song.
Now, here's how
it sounds on a CD.
♪ Ouch ouch I'm
just gonna gouch ♪
♪ Ouch ouch I have
rocks in my pouch ♪
First I remove
the backin' vocals.
I stripped away the
signal processin'.
[instrumental music]
And I equalized the
mid‐range frequencies
and brought up the piano.
[instrumental music]
Then all I had to do was
run the tape backwards.
♪ Oh Mandy ♪
♪ Well you came and
you gave without taking ♪
♪ But I sent you away oh Mandy ♪
♪ And you kissed me
and stopped me from.. ♪
I hereby withdraw my $10,000
and instead offer each of you
a complimentary kick in the ass.
Oh, why don't we just pay
your legal fees and call it even.
If you come up with
the eight grand fine.
Russell, how would you like
to call me boss lady again.
‐ Ah! ‐ Um, it'll be a pleasure.
And for only a small
raise, boss lady.
We'll talk about that later.
Right now, I'm
going to the precinct
and let Synclaire know
"Flavor" is not dead yet.
Come on. Yes!
You mama, y'all, get
the hell out of my house.
You eat up, on me,
alright? Good for you.
[chuckles] Get the hell.
What the hell are
you doin' here?
Well, when I heard about
this press conference
I figured that you were
resigning from the race
so I rushed right down to gloat.
[chuckles]
You know what?
Good, stick around.
When you hear what I have
to say you'll feel as dumb
as you look in that hat.
May I have your
attention please.
Yes!
Over the course of this campaign
my opponent Paul Malaba
has said some pretty
shocking things about me.
But what I have to
say about Mr. Malaba
is even more shocking.
And this is the man who has that
'shocking, shocking evidence.'
Evidence that will shock you!
Uh, Malaba's people
destroyed all the evidence.
You do not have
one shred of proof.
Um, hi.
[chuckles]
Uh.
Fact is, uh, every word
that Paul Malaba has
said about me is true.
[all gasping]
But what does that
really say about me?
‐ That you are a freak.
‐ That I'm a woman.
With a passion for life?
Guilty.
That I'm a woman who's
willing to go all the way
to get what she wants
over and over again
even when those around
her are exhausted and spent?
Then I'm guilty.
My record proves I
have nothing to hide.
I say to the people of Brooklyn
a vote for Maxine Shaw
is a vote for openness
passion and endurance.
When I say "Ride the maverick"
I mean it.
[applause]
[all] Ride the maverick!
Ride the maverick!
(Kyle) 'Giddy up!
Giddy up! Giddy up! Giddy up!
[typewriter keys clacking]
Ah, good news, Mr. Jones.
Forensics has just recovered
what may be your property.
Oh, for real.
Oh, is it all there, Obi.
Damn right, it is, mama.
Even the most important thing.
I'm not taking any
chances on losin' it this time.
Look, Synclaire, got
somethin' I want to say to you.
And I wanna say it right here
and I'm gonna say it right now.
‐ Baby, I‐‐ ‐ Synclaire.
[chuckling] "Flavor"
is gonna be okay.
The Belching Yams
dropped the suit.
Oh, congratulations Khadijah!
Girl, you won't believe it‐‐.
Khadijah, that‐that's
just lovely but I got
somethin' I want
to say to Synclaire.
Oh, but I got big
news. Man, did you‐‐.
No‐no, baby, I think
I got bigger news.
But I want to tell
her the whole story.
‐ Oh, go ahead, what
happened? ‐ I'm tellin' you‐‐.
Khadijah, hush up.
Matter of fact,
everybody just hush up.
Now, Synclaire, ever
since I could remember
I had a vision of
the perfect woman.
Uh, the way she looked,
the way she talked
the way she walked.
Even her favorite
kinda hot cereal.
Then I met you.
And you were
nothin' like the vision.
But, fate just proved how
wrong a man could be.
It brought me the perfect
woman and now I want to spend
the rest of my life
saying "Thanks fate."
So, uh, Synclaire,
will you, um..
Will you marry me?
Uh.. Uh, yes. Yes!
Yes.
[laughing]
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, Obie!
Oh, Obie, it's so beautiful.
I'm never ever, ever,
ever, ever taking this off.
‐ Oh! ‐ Ever, oh.
Oh, congratulations.
I love you all.
Oh, let's just go home and
tell everybody the good news
my fine fiance.
After you my
beautiful betrothed.
Future father to be.
‐ Soon to be squaw. ‐ Good one.
I hope they adopt.
(Maxine) Don't go
away, we'll be right back.
This isn't easy. Wait a
minute, number three.
'She looks familiar.'
Okay, we're through here.
You, son of a gun!
[screaming]
Man, no‐no. Now, you know what?
I'm alright, man,
I'm alright. I'm cool.
‐ Thank you. ‐ Okay.
Compose myself.
[screaming]
(female ♫1) Woo‐hoo!
on "Living Single."
This is the ring I
designed for my Synclaire.
Oh, you designed it.
It's like no other engagement
ring you ever seen.
Russell, what are
you doin' here?
Well, I was in the neighborhood
and we're being sued for libel.
What?
Remember my article on
that new band, Belching Yams?
I wrote there could be
no denying their song.
"Everybody has a Nipple"
was a rip off of Barry
Manilow's "Mandy."
Well, it seems
there's some denyin' it.
The Borough Alderman
elections are being held next month
and the incumbent Paul
Malaba has been a disaster.
Will you carry the torch
of democracy for us?
Sure.
(all) Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!
And Regine! And Regine!
You gotta focus on the, on
your good points, you know.
Focus on things like, what
good taste you have in women.
You delicate flower.
I didn't know you cared!
(man on TV) 'Maxine Shaw,
the so called nympho candidate'
'and her steamy
ties to Kyle Barker'
'a rising Wall Street
funds manager.'
Gimme all your valuable
stuff or you're dead.
Overton, give that
man anything he wants.
Thanks, brother. Whoo!
I'll be right back, Synclaire.
Just remember
that, um, I love you.
‐ Come on, girl.
‐ I love you too.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Oh in a 90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up what ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Hi, I'm Synclaire,
your waitress.
Can I get you some coffee.
Or perhaps some
cheese or some cake?
Maybe some coffee cheese
cake? Maybe some‐‐.
Synclaire, you have
gone from trippin'
to a full vacation.
Now, honey, please,
sit down, okay.
The police said
that they would call
as soon as they heard anything.
No‐no, I've got
to stay in character
to keep my mind off Obie.
Uh, so what will it be, miss?
Alright, I'll have a
large nonfat milk.
Um‐hm, one tall Kate Moss.
White and skinny.
[doorbell ringing]
[Synclaire mumbling]
‐ Oh, Obie, thank God! ‐ Hey!
‐ Hey! ‐ There
you are, you okay?
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Everybody this is Officer Solis.
‐ NYPD.. ‐ Okay.
Mounted unit.
I was so worried, what
happened? Tell me everything‐‐.
Look‐look‐look, if‐if you
people don't keep it down
somebody's gonna
call the poli.. See.
Kyle, we were
mugged in Central Park.
‐ No, man! ‐ Yeah!
And I took off after the
mugger on horseback.
Let me tell you, nothin' like
riding a horse at full gallop
hooves pounding,
leather slappin'
me wishin' I would've
wore my athletic supporter.
Yeah, and then the horse
caught up with the mugger
held him down for the cops.
With our job done she just kinda
dumped me off in the rosebush.
Mr. Jones was so ensnarled
we had to use the
pruning sheers of life.
Well, did you find
the man's valuables?
Oh, nearly lost my valuables
ridin' the damn horse.
All we found on the
suspect was a handgun
but we're searching
the area, little lady.
Oh, it's good to know
the posse is on it, horse.
That never fails.
The equestrian police,
we get no respect.
I'm sure any cop can lock
himself up inside a cruiser
and call for backup.
But me, I'm out
there every night
puttin' my horse's
ass on the line.
Well, Obie, you've had
a terrible, terrible time.
Just glad the night's not
over yet, my electric horseman.
Well, uh, that's where
you're wrong, my beloved
'cause if I don't
get some rest soon
I may never be able
to saddle up again.
And if I don't get
my eight hours
I'll look like the average man.
[whispering] Come here.
So‐so‐so, listen, man,
did the mugger get the,
get the ring? Oh!
Man, I didn't get a chance
to pop the question?
Damn. Well‐well, look,
let's go back to the park, man
and look for it.
Kyle, Central Park, 2:00 a. m.?
You'll be killed.
Well, good.
Have you seen the evening news?
I'm practically the running
mate of Maverick Max
the nympho candidate.
Ugh.
Kinda ironic.
I can't get with Synclaire and
you can't get away from Max.
I guess into each life
a little rain must fall.
Well, sure, he gets sprinkles.
I get Hurricane Maxine.
Come on, Khadijah,
we're gonna be late.
I'm not goin' in today.
Max is bringin'
over a liable lawyer
to talk about this
Belching Yams lawsuit.
And I do not want the staff to
know how much trouble we're in.
Great, then I can stay
home and watch TV.
Rosie O'Donnell is
interviewing Oprah
and then they're gonna switch.
You are goin' into the office
and act as if nothing is wrong.
Ah, so everyone will
think everything's normal.
Well, not normal, but, you know
the way things are
when you around.
Oh, I'm on it, chief.
[doorbell ringing]
Hello, Khadijah. Synclaire.
What lawsuit?
Max and her friend
aren't here yet.
Just have a seat,
I'll be right back.
So, Khadijah, when
did we get a doggy door?
Don't worry,
depressed under D cup.
I'm here to see Khadijah.
We're tryin' to
save the magazine.
Oh!
[sighs]
On the other hand
to hell with "Flavor."
Alright, listen,
I've been thinkin'.
And, I want us to agree
that what happened last night
never happened.
Agreed!
What are we talkin' about?
Oh, that's excellent.
You see, no one has to
ever know about the kiss.
Oh.
Oh, that.
Yeah, I‐I know it won't be easy.
No problem at all.
Though you have to
admit it was some kiss.
Like a thousand others.
Oh, get off it, Russell.
Now, you know damn well that
there was a spark in that kiss.
A‐a‐a volatile
chemistry, pure passion!
I've forgotten all about it
and you better do the same!
Just the way I like her.
Chesty and testy.
[doorbell ringing]
Khadijah James. Del Stuart.
Del is a great liable lawyer and
the best negotiator in the city.
Would you like some coffee?
Espresso.
I don't have espresso, how
about some regular coffee?
‐ Drip? ‐ Yes.
Alright. I'll accept the drip
if you throw in an Oreo.
No name chocolate
sandwich cookie.
You're lucky I'm in a good mood.
Look‐look, I can't stay.
I gotta go, I gotta go, girl.
I gotta go dig up some
dirt on Paul Malaba.
Regine! You are my
campaign manager.
Can you manage
to help me with this?
No, dear, ex‐campaign manager.
See, because of you
my woman's group has
pulled their endorsement
and shunned me.
Just because of a little heat.
Uh, Max, I would
not call it a little heat.
When Playboy offers you
$5000 to be in their photo spread.
"Ladies Of The
Immoral Majority."
Well, if they don't
make the five grand
and Adopt‐A‐Highway
I'd be stupid not to do it.
Uh, remember you can see them
they can't see you.
Speak as you were instructed.
Um, give me all
your valuable stuff
or you're dead.
Give me all your valuable
stuff or you're dead.
I say, give me all
your valuable stuff
or I'll give you
the old "what for?"
Don't be a wise
guy, number three.
Gimme all your valuable
stuff or you're dead.
That's him! That's the guy!
(Synclaire) 'Oh, Obie,
are you positive?'
Yeah, I know, that's
him. I'm positive.
‐ Him. That guy! ‐ Good.
You..
[gabbering]
Ohh! Get me at
him! Get me at him!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
But you don't know what
kind of life I've had, lady.
Abandoned by my mom and dad.
Raised in an orphanage.
Fed nothing but one
stinking bowl of gruel a day.
And then I fell in with
a band of pickpockets.
I remember Fagan. He led a‐‐.
Oh, bro, that's "Oliver Twist."
I knew it sounded familiar.
Get me at him! Get me at
him! I'll tear you limb for limb!
Oh, Obie, I'm mad.
I'm mad, you see!
Alright, Khadijah.
I have evaluated the lawsuit
from every conceivable angle
and I've arrived at
a studied conclusion.
Break it down for me.
Certainly.
You lose.
[sighs] Isn't there
anything we can do?
Yeah, settle outta court
and, uh, as a gesture
of good faith, fire Russell.
You're fired. Uh‐huh.
I know how hard
that was for you.
But there's no need
to fire me. I'll quit.
Alright, now, I want you
to meet with the Yams
and their attorney right
here, it'll make you seem warm
human, that kind of crap.
‐ I can pull that off.
‐ Excellent. Excellent.
Alright, I guess I can get
the Yams to walk away
from this for, uh,
little as $10,000.
Ten Gs.
Where am I supposed to get that?
I presume the same place
you're getting my $5000 fee.
Well, then that's it.
Whether we got
to court or settle
that's the end of "Flavor."
It's a bitter pill.
Khadijah, I don't know what
to say. I wish there was‐‐.
Tsk, forget it, Russell.
It's not the end of the world.
I can deal with it.
I guess I just gotta be strong.
[crying]
Alright. Alright.
Wait, it's your fault.
Hm.
I guess this was a
little self‐indulgent.
Shee.
Oh, God!
Hey, been tryin' to reach
you for over an hour.
Your phone's not workin'.
I got tired of talkin'
to reporters about
Paul Malaba's latest allegation.
What, did they find out
about the time we went
to the stock exchange
and you said that
my Dow Jones was
more than average?
[chuckles]
No.
He made up some wild
story that I was seen nude
at some costume party in 1991.
I was dressed as Nero.
You try cinching up a
toga with a beer in one hand
and a stogie in the other.
Hey, you know the real
tragedy is that my name has been
linked to yours in the media.
‐ Oh, you slimy piece
of‐‐ ‐ Oh, ja, va, ja, hush.
Now, you need to
know that I am working
a Wall Street contact
who has evidence
of Malaba's misuse
of government funds.
For real?
I'm on my way to his
office in a few minutes.
Well, if I could get
evidence like that
to the media,
Malaba is finished.
So, you think you can call a
press conference for tonight.
[phone ringing]
Maxine Shaw.
Oh, hello, Miller.
How are things at the
diaper you call a newspaper?
Yeah, well, chill the
freak out, Miller, look
I'm callin' a press conference
at 7:00 p. M. At which
I will respond to
Mr. Malaba's charges
with a shocking
development of my own.
Be here. And ride the maverick.
Ah, thank you, Kyle.
You know, I guess it's true.
Politics do make
strange bedfellows.
[chuckles]
Maxine Shaw, you
were a strange bedfellow
long before politics.
Now, how long will this
little Q and A gonna take?
Uh, just a few questions
and you'll be out
of here in a jiffy.
‐ Last name? ‐ Jones.
No, if I were an O..
Where would I hide.
Well, you know
something officer.
I'm a professional secretary
why don't you scoot
on over and I'll have
these forms done toot sweet.
‐ Yeah. Come on, mama. ‐ Yeah.
Alright.
Oh‐oh, wait now, that's a zero.
Just let that dry.
And therefore we see no
need to drag this minor matter
before a jury.
Are you suggesting my clients
put aside their sense of justice
in exchange for money?
Because it's a mighty
good suggestion.
How much are we talkin' about?
As a symbolic gesture
we're willing to offer $500.
‐ A 150,000. ‐ 10,000.
I'm good to go.
[indecipherable squeaking]
Can we get on some
kinda payment plan?
Say 48.50 a month
for the next 17 years.
Here they are, man.
The Belching Yams.
The Belching rotting
festering, Manilow
stealing Yams.
Russell, are you drunk?
Because that will numb the pain
when I snatch them
hairs off your chest.
Wait, man. Wait.
I knew these gaseous sweet
potatoes were rip‐off artists.
So, I spent the last five
hours in a recording studio
analyzing the song.
Now, here's how
it sounds on a CD.
♪ Ouch ouch I'm
just gonna gouch ♪
♪ Ouch ouch I have
rocks in my pouch ♪
First I remove
the backin' vocals.
I stripped away the
signal processin'.
[instrumental music]
And I equalized the
mid‐range frequencies
and brought up the piano.
[instrumental music]
Then all I had to do was
run the tape backwards.
♪ Oh Mandy ♪
♪ Well you came and
you gave without taking ♪
♪ But I sent you away oh Mandy ♪
♪ And you kissed me
and stopped me from.. ♪
I hereby withdraw my $10,000
and instead offer each of you
a complimentary kick in the ass.
Oh, why don't we just pay
your legal fees and call it even.
If you come up with
the eight grand fine.
Russell, how would you like
to call me boss lady again.
‐ Ah! ‐ Um, it'll be a pleasure.
And for only a small
raise, boss lady.
We'll talk about that later.
Right now, I'm
going to the precinct
and let Synclaire know
"Flavor" is not dead yet.
Come on. Yes!
You mama, y'all, get
the hell out of my house.
You eat up, on me,
alright? Good for you.
[chuckles] Get the hell.
What the hell are
you doin' here?
Well, when I heard about
this press conference
I figured that you were
resigning from the race
so I rushed right down to gloat.
[chuckles]
You know what?
Good, stick around.
When you hear what I have
to say you'll feel as dumb
as you look in that hat.
May I have your
attention please.
Yes!
Over the course of this campaign
my opponent Paul Malaba
has said some pretty
shocking things about me.
But what I have to
say about Mr. Malaba
is even more shocking.
And this is the man who has that
'shocking, shocking evidence.'
Evidence that will shock you!
Uh, Malaba's people
destroyed all the evidence.
You do not have
one shred of proof.
Um, hi.
[chuckles]
Uh.
Fact is, uh, every word
that Paul Malaba has
said about me is true.
[all gasping]
But what does that
really say about me?
‐ That you are a freak.
‐ That I'm a woman.
With a passion for life?
Guilty.
That I'm a woman who's
willing to go all the way
to get what she wants
over and over again
even when those around
her are exhausted and spent?
Then I'm guilty.
My record proves I
have nothing to hide.
I say to the people of Brooklyn
a vote for Maxine Shaw
is a vote for openness
passion and endurance.
When I say "Ride the maverick"
I mean it.
[applause]
[all] Ride the maverick!
Ride the maverick!
(Kyle) 'Giddy up!
Giddy up! Giddy up! Giddy up!
[typewriter keys clacking]
Ah, good news, Mr. Jones.
Forensics has just recovered
what may be your property.
Oh, for real.
Oh, is it all there, Obi.
Damn right, it is, mama.
Even the most important thing.
I'm not taking any
chances on losin' it this time.
Look, Synclaire, got
somethin' I want to say to you.
And I wanna say it right here
and I'm gonna say it right now.
‐ Baby, I‐‐ ‐ Synclaire.
[chuckling] "Flavor"
is gonna be okay.
The Belching Yams
dropped the suit.
Oh, congratulations Khadijah!
Girl, you won't believe it‐‐.
Khadijah, that‐that's
just lovely but I got
somethin' I want
to say to Synclaire.
Oh, but I got big
news. Man, did you‐‐.
No‐no, baby, I think
I got bigger news.
But I want to tell
her the whole story.
‐ Oh, go ahead, what
happened? ‐ I'm tellin' you‐‐.
Khadijah, hush up.
Matter of fact,
everybody just hush up.
Now, Synclaire, ever
since I could remember
I had a vision of
the perfect woman.
Uh, the way she looked,
the way she talked
the way she walked.
Even her favorite
kinda hot cereal.
Then I met you.
And you were
nothin' like the vision.
But, fate just proved how
wrong a man could be.
It brought me the perfect
woman and now I want to spend
the rest of my life
saying "Thanks fate."
So, uh, Synclaire,
will you, um..
Will you marry me?
Uh.. Uh, yes. Yes!
Yes.
[laughing]
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, Obie!
Oh, Obie, it's so beautiful.
I'm never ever, ever,
ever, ever taking this off.
‐ Oh! ‐ Ever, oh.
Oh, congratulations.
I love you all.
Oh, let's just go home and
tell everybody the good news
my fine fiance.
After you my
beautiful betrothed.
Future father to be.
‐ Soon to be squaw. ‐ Good one.
I hope they adopt.
(Maxine) Don't go
away, we'll be right back.
This isn't easy. Wait a
minute, number three.
'She looks familiar.'
Okay, we're through here.
You, son of a gun!
[screaming]
Man, no‐no. Now, you know what?
I'm alright, man,
I'm alright. I'm cool.
‐ Thank you. ‐ Okay.
Compose myself.
[screaming]
(female ♫1) Woo‐hoo!