Living Single (1993–1998): Season 3, Episode 6 - The James Bond - full transcript
THERE'S MY LITTLE EARLY BIRD.
WHERE YOU BEEN, GIRL?
IN PROSPECT PARK
WITH HARVEY KEITEL.
HE'S FILMING A MOVIE THERE
AND I THOUGHT THAT
WATCHING WORKING ACTORS
WOULD HELP ME IMPROVE MY CRAFT.
SYNCLAIRE, DO YOU REALLY THINK
THAT YOU CAN LEARN SOMETHING
JUST BY WATCHING ACTORS?
YOU'VE BEEN
WATCHING ME FOR YEARS
YET YOU STILL DRESS LIKE THAT.
I LEARNED THAT WHEN YOU OPEN
THE DOOR TO A STAR'S TRAILER
YOU MIGHT SEE MADONNA
STUFFING HER CONES.
I KNOW I'D LEARN MORE
IF I COULD JUST AFFORD
TO TAKE HARVEY KEITEL'S
EXCLUSIVE ACTING SEMINAR.
BABY, IF YOU NEED
MONEY, I'M HERE FOR YOU.
I NEED $1,300.
LIKE I SAID, I'M
HERE FOR YOU, GIRL.
REGINE, YOU GOT SOME
MONEY FOR SYNCLAIRE?
SURE. LET ME JUST
GO GET MY CHECKBOOK.
YOU TWO STAY HERE
AND HOLD YOUR BREATH.
WHAT YOU HIDING?!
HO, HO, HO.
MAX'S LITTLE BLACK BOOK.
A SNAKESKIN COVER.
HOW APPROPRIATE.
HANDS OFF, THUMBELINA.
THIS IS NOT FOR
YOUR PRYING EYES.
WHY ARE YOU TRYING
TO HIDE IT IN MY HOUSE?
KYLE'S DEVELOPED THIS
NEED TO GET TO KNOW ME.
HE FOUND A PICTURE OF
ME AND AN OLD BOYFRIEND.
IT LED TO A
HALF‐HOUR DISCUSSION.
ALL OF THAT OVER ONE PICTURE?
DEXTER AND I WERE
SUNBATHING ON A NUDE BEACH.
AT LEAST, I THINK IT
WAS A NUDE BEACH.
I SAW NO SIGNS.
ANYWAY, LISTEN, IF
THAT LED TO A HALF HOUR
JUST IMAGINE WHAT
THIS WOULD LEAD TO.
I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME.
WHY DON'T YOU LET
ME HIDE THAT FOR YOU?
YOU KNOW, I JUST REMEMBERED
THE PERFECT PLACE
IN MY APARTMENT.
KYLE'S AFRAID TO
GO IN MY FRIDGE.
HE SWORE THE LAST TIME,
SOMETHING TRIED TO GRAB HIM.
SUIT YOURSELF.
♪ WE ARE LIVING ♪
♪ HEY ♪
♪ SINGLE ♪
♪ OOH, IN A '90s KIND OF WORLD ♪
♪ I'M GLAD I GOT MY GIRLS ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ WHAT? ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ WHENEVER THIS
LIFE GETS TOUGH ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO FIGHT WITH ♪
♪ MY HOMEGIRL
STANDING TO MY LEFT ♪
♪ AND MY RIGHT ♪
♪ TRUE BLUE, IT'S
TIGHT LIKE GLUE ♪
♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ WE ARE LIVING SINGLE. ♪
Captioning sponsored by FOX
BROADCASTING COMPANY
REGINE, I AM BUSY.
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK.
COME ON, KHADIJAH.
NOW YOU WENT TO SCHOOL WITH MAX.
YOU MUST KNOW HER SECRET CODE.
LIKE, WHAT DO THREE
FIRECRACKERS MEAN?
THEY MEAN IF REGINE DOESN'T
MIND HER OWN BUSINESS
IT MAY BLOW UP IN HER FACE.
HMM.
TWO STARS AND A CRESCENT MOON.
I'M THINKING EITHER THIS
GUY WAS A STELLAR LOVER
OR HE WAS OKAY FOR A MUSLIM.
HEY, THERE.
LISTEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT GETTING UP AT
4:00 TOMORROW MORNING?
THE COMPUTER AT
FLAVOR BROKE DOWN AGAIN.
NO, I WANT TO GO FISHING.
OF COURSE THE COMPUTER
BROKE DOWN, NORTON.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A
MODERN COMPUTER OUT THERE.
YOU KNOW, ONE WHERE THE SCREEN
DOESN'T DIM WHEN
YOU STOP PEDDLING.
KHADIJAH, THIS
LETTER FROM THE BANK
IS ADDRESSED TO THE BOTH OF US.
HOW OVERDRAWN
IS FLAVOR THIS TIME?
I DON'T KNOW.
THERE'S A CHECK FOR $2,700.
GIVE ME THAT.
IT SAYS HERE THAT
THE $500 SAVINGS BOND
WE BOUGHT 15 YEARS
AGO HAS MATURED.
HOW DID TWO KIDS GET 500 BUCKS?
RUN NUMBERS?
KNOCK OVER BANKS?
SORRY, I'VE BEEN WORKING
THE JUVENILE COURTS
THIS WEEK, AND...
ACTUALLY, KHADIJAH AND I
MADE THE MONEY ONE
SUMMER WASHING CARS.
AND SELLING RANDOM ITEMS
WE FOUND AROUND THE HOUSE.
AS FAR AS I KNOW
AUNT RITA STILL HASN'T
FOUND THAT IRONING BOARD.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE
CAN DO WITH $2,700?
YEAH.
WE CAN REPLACE THAT
SORRY‐ASS COMPUTER AT FLAVOR.
DAMN.
WE COULD AFFORD
THE PENTIMOUNT CD 625.
WE COULD?
YOU COULD INVEST THIS
MONEY IN THE STOCK MARKET.
SO YOU COULD TAKE A COMMISSION?
WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.
I SUPPOSE I WOULD.
$2,700 WILL MAKE
A TIDY DOWN PAYMENT
ON THAT COMPUTER.
SO, ALL OF THE MONEY
WOULD BE USED FOR THAT?
YEAH.
SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM.
ALL RIGHT, HOLD UP, SYNCLAIRE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO DO WITH THE MONEY?
NO, NO.
THAT COMPUTER THING
SOUNDS LIKE THE THING TO DO
WITH THE, UH... CHECK THING.
I CAN'T BELIEVE MAX EVEN
CODED THE PHONE NUMBERS AND...
TWO EGGS BEATEN LIGHTLY.
BAKE AT 350.
SERVES 12.
THANKS FOR THE
RECIPES, MAX... RECIPES.
ALL RIGHT, GIRL, HE'S ON TO US.
I'LL CONFESS.
KYLE, THAT MAX'S
LITTLE BLACK BOOK...
YOU OPEN THAT BOOK
YOUR FACE WILL MELT LIKE WAX.
IT'S THAT WHOLE RAIDERS
OF THE LOST ARK THING.
YEAH, WELL, I'LL
TAKE MY CHANCES.
AFTER ALL, I'VE SEEN YOU IN
THE MORNING AND SURVIVED.
HEY, CINNAMON STICK,
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
HARVEY KEITEL WAS
SO POWERFUL TODAY.
I WATCHED HIM STUDY A
SCENE, THROW THE SCRIPT AWAY
AND AD‐LIB A BRAND‐NEW ONE.
EVERYONE WAS MOVED.
THE WRITER WAS IN TEARS.
GOD, I WISH I COULD
TAKE HIS SEMINAR.
LET ME SEE THAT.
"HARVEY KEITEL'S HOW TO KILL,
DIE AND PLAY THE PIANO NAKED."
ALL THIS FOR 1,300 BUCKS?
IT INCLUDES LUNCH.
WELL, MY TOO‐SWEET THESPIAN
WHY DON'T YOU USE YOUR
HALF OF THAT BOND MONEY?
YOU WASHED AS MANY
CARS AS KHADIJAH.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I JUST
MADE BUBBLES WITH THE SOAP
AND PLAYED ELEPHANT
WITH THE HOSE.
WELL, THERE YOU GO.
YOU PROVIDED THE
HILARIOUS MORALE BOOSTER
THAT KEPT KHADIJAH
LATHERING AT PEAK EFFICIENCY.
SYNCLAIRE, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST GO AND TALK TO KHADIJAH?
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M GOING TO LET HER KNOW
IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS
THAT WE'LL SPLIT THAT
BOND EVEN‐STEVEN.
GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING, KHADIJAH.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO
HAVE HALF OF MY JUICE?
OR PERHAPS HALF A BAGEL?
OR WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME HALF AND
HALF IN YOUR COFFEE?
I AM TOO EXCITED TO EAT.
WE GET THE NEW COMPUTER TODAY.
SO DON'T FORGET TO
DEPOSIT THE BOND MONEY.
KHADIJAH, I INSIST YOU ALLOW ME
TO SPLIT THIS BAGEL
RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE
AND GIVE YOU 50%.
OKAY, SYNCLAIRE. THANKS.
SEE YOU AT THE OFFICE.
DAMN, IT'S GOING
TO BE A GOOD DAY.
I DON'T KNOW, THEY
SAID IT MIGHT RAIN.
THEN TOMORROW,
FLOWERS WILL GROW.
WE THOUGHT WE WAS GOING TO
HAVE TO PULL YOU UP OFF OF HER.
ALL RIGHT, KYLE, WHAT
DO YOU SAY, AFTER WORK
WE GET SOME DINNER
AND CATCH THE 10:00 SHOW?
ALL RIGHT, KYLE.
THERE'S ONLY ONE
THING THAT I HATE WORSE
THAN TALKING ABOUT US
AND THAT'S LISTENING
TO YOU SIGH ABOUT US.
WHY DOES MY LITTLE
DIRECTORY HAVE YOU SO UPSET?
BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE BLACK
BOOK IS LIKE SCRAPPLE TO ME.
SCRAPPLE?
THAT BRICK OF GRAY
STUFF IN THE MEAT SECTION?
YES. WHEN I WAS
A KID, I LOVED IT.
THEN ONE DAY, I
READ IT CONTAINED
EVERY PIECE OF THE PIG LEFT
AFTER THEY MADE HOT DOGS.
AND LET'S JUST SAY
THE MAGIC FADED.
AND MY LITTLE BLACK
BOOK IS LIKE THAT?
YES.
I WAS BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING.
PRAY TELL, SIR,
NOT KNOWING WHAT?
THAT YOUR LITTLE BLACK BOOK
CONTAINS ONE MORE
ENTRY THAN MINE.
REALLY?
NOW YOU KNOW THE UGLY TRUTH.
OH, AND THAT'S WHAT'S
GOT YOU SO DOWN.
OH, POOR BABY‐CITO.
OH, THE TORTURE
TO YOUR MANLY PRIDE.
OH.
OH, THAT'S... AH.
OH.
FINALLY, AFTER THREE YEARS
ON THIS CHICKEN‐YARD MAGAZINE
YOU MAKE A GOOD DECISION.
WELL, I FINALLY
HAD ENOUGH MONEY.
AND I THOUGHT
RAISE FOR RUSSELL,
BUY A COMPUTER
GLAD YOU AGREE WITH MY DECISION.
NOW WHAT'S UP WITH THE BAT?
AS SOON AS THIS
COMPUTER IS INSTALLED
I'M TAKING THE OLD ONE OUT BACK
AND BEAT IT TILL I'M DIZZY.
I'M HERE FOR THE
WEDNESDAY PHOTO RUN.
IVAN, IT'S TUESDAY.
OH, I'LL WAIT.
OH, COOL, A NEW COMPUTER.
IT DOES EVERYTHING.
IT DOES LAYOUT, E‐MAIL.
I CAN EVEN SEND PHOTOS
AND FAXES OVER THE PHONE LINES.
WA‐WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR THEN?
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.
IT'S BEEN REAL.
MIGHT I ADD THAT THIS
COMPUTER CANNOT PROVIDE YOU
WITH LOVE AND SUPPORT.
IT ALSO WON'T STALK ME.
WELL, THEN, I GUESS THAT'S IT.
DO YOU MIND IF I JUST
WANDER AROUND AIMLESSLY
THINKING ABOUT WHAT
MIGHT HAVE BEEN?
KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.
I'M THINKING ABOUT THAT TOO.
MS. JAMES, UM, THE
BANK TELLS ME THERE ARE
INSUFFICIENT FUNDS
IN YOUR ACCOUNT.
THAT CAN'T BE.
YES, I'M SURE IT'S JUST
SOME CLERICAL ERROR.
BREAK IT DOWN, FELLAS.
SYNCLAIRE, THANK GOD.
SHE JUST MADE THE DEPOSIT
INTO THE ACCOUNT TO COVER THE...
THIS IS FOR ONLY
HALF THE AMOUNT.
WHERE IS THE REST OF THE MONEY?
IT'S A FUNNY THING...
GIVE ME THE UNFUNNY VERSION.
I SPENT THE OTHER
HALF OF THE MONEY
ON MY ACTING SEMINAR.
OH, JAH.
THE BLASTED GIRL HAS SENT
US BACK INTO THE DARK AGES.
YES!
PRAYER WORKS.
IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO START PRAYING.
OH, GENTLEMEN.
DON'T FORGET THE BUBBLE PACK.
YOU KNOW, BOSS LADY,
THERE IS A SILVER LINING.
NOW I GET MY RAISE.
I GET MY RAISE.
I GET MY RAISE.
SO I JUST STOOD THERE
AS THEY WHEELED MY BIG,
BEAUTIFUL COMPUTER AWAY.
I'M GOING TO KILL SYNCLAIRE.
Synclaire: HEY,
EVERYBODY, I'M HOME.
OH, SHE ANNOUNCES HERSELF.
MAN, THAT'S LIKE THE
CHRISTIANS YELLING
"HEY, LIONS, WE'RE HERE!"
HI, KHADIJAH. BACK FROM
LUNCH. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
YOU JUST GOING
TO WALK UP IN HERE
AND ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE?
DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE
ME FOR JUST A SECOND?
I DID NOT WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR
UNTIL I WAS TOTALLY COMMITTED.
I WAS CONVINCED, BABY.
I KNOW THERE IS NO WAY
FOR YOU TO EXPLAIN
WHAT YOU DID TODAY
SO I'M GOING TO
GIVE YOU 30 SECONDS
TO MAKE STUPID EXCUSES.
HOLD ON, KHADIJAH.
YOU'VE BEEN RANTING AND RAVING
EVER SINCE YOU GOT HOME.
WHAT DID MY LITTLE SWEET PEA DO
THAT GOT YOU SO
BENT OUT OF SHAPE?
SHE LIED ABOUT
DEPOSITING THE BOND MONEY
SHE PRACTICALLY RUINED MY CREDIT
AND WHEN I FINALLY GOT
THE TRUTH OUT OF HER
SHE DISAPPEARS FOR
THE REST OF THE DAY.
UH, WELL, YOU KNOW...
UM... I GOT A POLICY
OF NOT INTERFERING
IN ARGUMENTS BETWEEN
RELATIVES SO, UM...
WE'LL BE UPSTAIRS WHEN
THIS BLOWS OVER, BABY.
MAYBE I DIDN'T GO ABOUT
THIS THE RIGHT WAY.
MAYBE?
OKAY, I DIDN'T GO ABOUT
THIS THE RIGHT WAY.
IT'S JUST THAT THIS ACTING
SEMINAR IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME.
IT IS TAUGHT BY HARVEY KEITEL
FOUNDER OF THE ROBERT
DE NIRO STYLE OF ACTING.
COME ON, SYNCLAIRE.
THAT'S JUST ANOTHER
ONE OF YOUR WHIMS.
SOME PEOPLE WOULD SAY
THAT PUBLISHING A MAGAZINE
WITH NO CROSSWORD PUZZLES
AND NO COMIC STRIPS IS A WHIM.
THIS IS JUICIER THAN THE
SOAP OPERA I WORK ON.
LOOK, SYNCLAIRE
I HAVE WORKED
TOWARDS THIS MAGAZINE
SINCE THE TENTH GRADE AND YOU
YOU HAVE BEEN AN
ACTRESS FOR TEN MINUTES
AND NEXT WEEK, WHEN
YOU DECIDE TO BECOME...
OH! A SNAKE WRANGLER
I'M STILL GOING TO BE
WITHOUT A COMPUTER.
LOOKY HERE.
I'VE PUT IN LONG
HOURS AT FLAVOR.
AND I'VE ACCEPTED THE LOW WAGES
AND NOW I'M GOING FOR MINE.
I'M AN ACTRESS.
SYNCLAIRE JAMES IN TECHNICOLOR
AND SURROUND SOUND.
OOH, THE AUDIENCE IS LISTENING.
WHAT? DID YOU... HELLO?
KHADIJAH.
HELLO?
RUSS... RUSS?
RUSSELL, SLOW DOWN.
HOW MANY PAGES DID WE LOSE?
WE'RE JUST GOING TO
HAVE TO DO IT BY HAND.
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
- 00 A. M.
THE COMPUTER BROKE DOWN AGAIN.
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
WELL, I'M NOT
BUT I WON'T STAND HERE
GIVING YOU THE SATISFACTION
OF WATCHING ME NOT BE.
WELL, I TELL YOU THIS‐‐
IF YOU EVER DO MAKE
IT AS AN ACTRESS
YOU'LL NEVER BE ON
THE COVER OF FLAVOR.
RIGHT!
BECAUSE YOU WON'T HAVE
THE GRAPHIC CAPABILITIES.
WHY DO I EVEN DEAL
WITH THAT WOMAN?
BECAUSE YOU REALIZE
THAT EVERY TIME MAX DOES
SOMETHING REALLY CRUEL TO YOU
IT'S JUST HER DYSFUNCTIONAL
WAY OF DENYING HER VERY REAL
AND VERY STRONG
ATTRACTION TO YOU.
OVERTON.
EVERYTHING IS SO
SIMPLE IN YOUR WORLD.
MAX AND I ARE
SOPHISTICATED, URBANE PEOPLE
WITH A COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP
AND REAL PROBLEMS...
AND SHE'S HAD ONE
MORE LOVER THAN ME, MAN!
SHORTY, IT SOUNDS TO ME
THIS IS NOTHING MORE THAN
A LITTLE EGO PROBLEM, BRO.
AS I TOLD YOU, THERE
IS NO SUCH THING
AS LITTLE EGO PROBLEMS
ONLY LITTLE EGOS.
AND YOURS IS CLEARLY BRUISED.
KYLE, REMEMBER
IN THE FIFTH GRADE
WHEN ROSEANNE ROBERSON CHIPPED
MY WOODEN FOLD‐OUT TAPE MEASURE?
IT SPINS UPON THE
WINDMILLS OF MY MIND.
SHORTY, I LOVED THAT WOMAN
BUT ANYTIME I TRIED
TO MEASURE ANYTHING
MY STOMACH WOULD
JUST KNOT UP ON ME.
THEN ONE DAY FORTIFIED
WITH THE KNOWLEDGE
THAT PEOPLE ARE MORE
IMPORTANT THAN THINGS‐‐
AND WOOD IS BIODEGRADABLE‐‐
I TOSSED THE ACCURSED TOOL
TO THE MIGHTY CUYAHOGA RIVER
AND JUST WATCHED IT FLOAT AWAY.
OVERTON WHAT DOES
THAT SACCHARIN INCIDENT
HAVE TO DO WITH MY
RELATIONSHIP WITH MAXINE?
I SUGGEST A PURGING.
DESTROY ANYTHING THAT
DISTRACTS YOU AND MAX
FROM THE HERE AND NOW.
IN OTHER WORDS, WHY DON'T YOU
BURN THOSE BLACK BOOKS, MAN?
AND WHILE WE'RE DESTROYING
NATIONAL MONUMENTS
WHY DON'T I JUST GO
TIP OVER STONEHENGE?
THAT'S PROBABLY MAX.
WE WERE SUPPOSED
TO GO TO DINNER.
HEY, LOOK HERE.
I GOT A POLICY‐‐
NEVER INTERFERE IN ARGUMENTS
BETWEEN INSANE LOVERS.
I'M GOING TO GO TO MY ROOM
AND MAKE SURE YOU DISCONNECT
THE SMOKE DETECTORS
BEFORE Y'ALL BURN
THOSE BLACK BOOKS.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S BOOGIE.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A SEAT?
UH, MAXINE?
WHAT WOULD YOU
SAY TO THE PROPOSAL
THAT WE BURN OUR BLACK BOOKS?
I HAVE AN EVEN BETTER IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
PLUCK OUT MY EYEBALLS
AND USE THEM FOR FRUIT SALAD?
LOOK, IF THIS THING IS
SO IMPORTANT TO YOU
WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT,
FIND AN ANONYMOUS WOMAN
EVEN UP THE SCORE.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS. WE
BOTH KNOW WHO WE ARE.
YOU'VE DATED PEOPLE,
I'VE DATED PEOPLE.
I'M IN YOUR BLACK
BOOK, YOU'RE IN MINE.
WHOA, WHOA. HOLD UP‐‐
YOU'RE NOT IN MY BLACK BOOK.
NO, I CONSIDER YOU
SOMEWHAT A FRIEND.
REALLY?
WELL, YOU IN MINE, SO...
I SHOULD BE OFFENDED BY THAT
BUT YET, I FEEL
STRANGELY VINDICATED.
ALL RIGHT, MAXINE...
WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.
THERE.
NOW THE SCALES ARE BALANCED.
WHY'D YOU DRAW JUMPER
CABLES NEXT TO MY NAME?
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?
COME, SIMBA, LET'S EAT.
MOMMY, I DON'T WANT
TO GO TO SCHOOL!
OH.
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
WATCHING HARVEY KEITEL
NAKED IN THE PARK?
I HAVE A JOB TO DO, KHADIJAH.
YOU KNOW I ALWAYS COME IN EARLY
WHENEVER THE
COMPUTER BREAKS DOWN.
OH!
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL
ME YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO BUY A COMPUTER
WITH YOUR HALF?
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE
EXPECTED YOU TO READ MY MIND
BUT YOU KNOW I'VE
ALWAYS HAD A PROBLEM
STANDING UP FOR MYSELF.
YOU'RE GETTING BETTER.
JUST LAST WEEK, REMEMBER
WHAT YOU SAID TO THAT GUY?
"HEY, MAN, I SAID
ORIGINAL, NOT EXTRA CRISPY
AND I MEANT IT."
THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN
IT COMES TO YOU.
YOU CAN BE PRETTY INTIMIDATING
WHEN IT COMES TO FLAVOR.
IF I GET A LITTLE INTENSE
IT'S ONLY BECAUSE
FLAVOR IS OUR DREAM.
NO.
OUR DREAM WAS
TO BE ON SOUL TRAIN.
BUT THAT NEVER HAPPENED,
MISS REFUSE‐TO‐WEAR‐A‐MIDRIFF.
FLAVOR IS YOUR DREAM, NOT MINE.
YOU KNOW, I'VE...
ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT ONE DAY
I WOULD BE C. E. O. OF
FLAVOR ENTERPRISES
AND YOU'D BE PRESIDENT.
OF THE UNITED STATES?
OF FLAVOR ENTERPRISES.
OH.
KHADIJAH, I NEVER THOUGHT
YOU FELT THAT WAY.
WELL, IT'S JUST A RUBBER‐STAMP
POSITION FOR LEGAL PURPOSES
BUT STILL... IT WAS A LITTLE
PRESUMPTUOUS OF ME
TO THINK YOU DIDN'T
HAVE YOUR OWN PLANS.
YES, IT WAS.
LOOK, I HAVE NEVER BEEN
VERY GOOD AT SAYING I'M SORRY.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
I'M SORRY TOO.
LOVE YOU, BOO.
CRAZY FAMILY.
SPENDING EACH OTHER'S MONEY
AND HUGGING BEFORE DAWN.
I TELL YOU, IT'S BABYLON.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
LET'S SEE WHAT HARVEY TAUGHT
MY LITTLE PHI BETA ACTRESS.
OKAY. FIRST, I KILL.
YOU SHOOT HIM, I
SWEAR, YOU'LL DIE NEXT.
BLAM! BLAM‐BLAM, BLAM‐BLAM!
OH, MY.
FRIGHTENINGLY REAL.
NOW I DIE.
DAMN, GIRL.
YOUR LIFE JUST
FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES.
AND NOW, I PLAY THE PIANO.
BRAVA!
UH, BRAVISSIMO.
IF THAT WASN'T WORTH
$1,300, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON,
GIRL, BEFORE YOU CATCH COLD.
WHERE YOU BEEN, GIRL?
IN PROSPECT PARK
WITH HARVEY KEITEL.
HE'S FILMING A MOVIE THERE
AND I THOUGHT THAT
WATCHING WORKING ACTORS
WOULD HELP ME IMPROVE MY CRAFT.
SYNCLAIRE, DO YOU REALLY THINK
THAT YOU CAN LEARN SOMETHING
JUST BY WATCHING ACTORS?
YOU'VE BEEN
WATCHING ME FOR YEARS
YET YOU STILL DRESS LIKE THAT.
I LEARNED THAT WHEN YOU OPEN
THE DOOR TO A STAR'S TRAILER
YOU MIGHT SEE MADONNA
STUFFING HER CONES.
I KNOW I'D LEARN MORE
IF I COULD JUST AFFORD
TO TAKE HARVEY KEITEL'S
EXCLUSIVE ACTING SEMINAR.
BABY, IF YOU NEED
MONEY, I'M HERE FOR YOU.
I NEED $1,300.
LIKE I SAID, I'M
HERE FOR YOU, GIRL.
REGINE, YOU GOT SOME
MONEY FOR SYNCLAIRE?
SURE. LET ME JUST
GO GET MY CHECKBOOK.
YOU TWO STAY HERE
AND HOLD YOUR BREATH.
WHAT YOU HIDING?!
HO, HO, HO.
MAX'S LITTLE BLACK BOOK.
A SNAKESKIN COVER.
HOW APPROPRIATE.
HANDS OFF, THUMBELINA.
THIS IS NOT FOR
YOUR PRYING EYES.
WHY ARE YOU TRYING
TO HIDE IT IN MY HOUSE?
KYLE'S DEVELOPED THIS
NEED TO GET TO KNOW ME.
HE FOUND A PICTURE OF
ME AND AN OLD BOYFRIEND.
IT LED TO A
HALF‐HOUR DISCUSSION.
ALL OF THAT OVER ONE PICTURE?
DEXTER AND I WERE
SUNBATHING ON A NUDE BEACH.
AT LEAST, I THINK IT
WAS A NUDE BEACH.
I SAW NO SIGNS.
ANYWAY, LISTEN, IF
THAT LED TO A HALF HOUR
JUST IMAGINE WHAT
THIS WOULD LEAD TO.
I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME.
WHY DON'T YOU LET
ME HIDE THAT FOR YOU?
YOU KNOW, I JUST REMEMBERED
THE PERFECT PLACE
IN MY APARTMENT.
KYLE'S AFRAID TO
GO IN MY FRIDGE.
HE SWORE THE LAST TIME,
SOMETHING TRIED TO GRAB HIM.
SUIT YOURSELF.
♪ WE ARE LIVING ♪
♪ HEY ♪
♪ SINGLE ♪
♪ OOH, IN A '90s KIND OF WORLD ♪
♪ I'M GLAD I GOT MY GIRLS ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ WHAT? ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ WHENEVER THIS
LIFE GETS TOUGH ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO FIGHT WITH ♪
♪ MY HOMEGIRL
STANDING TO MY LEFT ♪
♪ AND MY RIGHT ♪
♪ TRUE BLUE, IT'S
TIGHT LIKE GLUE ♪
♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ WE ARE LIVING SINGLE. ♪
Captioning sponsored by FOX
BROADCASTING COMPANY
REGINE, I AM BUSY.
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK.
COME ON, KHADIJAH.
NOW YOU WENT TO SCHOOL WITH MAX.
YOU MUST KNOW HER SECRET CODE.
LIKE, WHAT DO THREE
FIRECRACKERS MEAN?
THEY MEAN IF REGINE DOESN'T
MIND HER OWN BUSINESS
IT MAY BLOW UP IN HER FACE.
HMM.
TWO STARS AND A CRESCENT MOON.
I'M THINKING EITHER THIS
GUY WAS A STELLAR LOVER
OR HE WAS OKAY FOR A MUSLIM.
HEY, THERE.
LISTEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT GETTING UP AT
4:00 TOMORROW MORNING?
THE COMPUTER AT
FLAVOR BROKE DOWN AGAIN.
NO, I WANT TO GO FISHING.
OF COURSE THE COMPUTER
BROKE DOWN, NORTON.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A
MODERN COMPUTER OUT THERE.
YOU KNOW, ONE WHERE THE SCREEN
DOESN'T DIM WHEN
YOU STOP PEDDLING.
KHADIJAH, THIS
LETTER FROM THE BANK
IS ADDRESSED TO THE BOTH OF US.
HOW OVERDRAWN
IS FLAVOR THIS TIME?
I DON'T KNOW.
THERE'S A CHECK FOR $2,700.
GIVE ME THAT.
IT SAYS HERE THAT
THE $500 SAVINGS BOND
WE BOUGHT 15 YEARS
AGO HAS MATURED.
HOW DID TWO KIDS GET 500 BUCKS?
RUN NUMBERS?
KNOCK OVER BANKS?
SORRY, I'VE BEEN WORKING
THE JUVENILE COURTS
THIS WEEK, AND...
ACTUALLY, KHADIJAH AND I
MADE THE MONEY ONE
SUMMER WASHING CARS.
AND SELLING RANDOM ITEMS
WE FOUND AROUND THE HOUSE.
AS FAR AS I KNOW
AUNT RITA STILL HASN'T
FOUND THAT IRONING BOARD.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE
CAN DO WITH $2,700?
YEAH.
WE CAN REPLACE THAT
SORRY‐ASS COMPUTER AT FLAVOR.
DAMN.
WE COULD AFFORD
THE PENTIMOUNT CD 625.
WE COULD?
YOU COULD INVEST THIS
MONEY IN THE STOCK MARKET.
SO YOU COULD TAKE A COMMISSION?
WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.
I SUPPOSE I WOULD.
$2,700 WILL MAKE
A TIDY DOWN PAYMENT
ON THAT COMPUTER.
SO, ALL OF THE MONEY
WOULD BE USED FOR THAT?
YEAH.
SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM.
ALL RIGHT, HOLD UP, SYNCLAIRE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO DO WITH THE MONEY?
NO, NO.
THAT COMPUTER THING
SOUNDS LIKE THE THING TO DO
WITH THE, UH... CHECK THING.
I CAN'T BELIEVE MAX EVEN
CODED THE PHONE NUMBERS AND...
TWO EGGS BEATEN LIGHTLY.
BAKE AT 350.
SERVES 12.
THANKS FOR THE
RECIPES, MAX... RECIPES.
ALL RIGHT, GIRL, HE'S ON TO US.
I'LL CONFESS.
KYLE, THAT MAX'S
LITTLE BLACK BOOK...
YOU OPEN THAT BOOK
YOUR FACE WILL MELT LIKE WAX.
IT'S THAT WHOLE RAIDERS
OF THE LOST ARK THING.
YEAH, WELL, I'LL
TAKE MY CHANCES.
AFTER ALL, I'VE SEEN YOU IN
THE MORNING AND SURVIVED.
HEY, CINNAMON STICK,
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
HARVEY KEITEL WAS
SO POWERFUL TODAY.
I WATCHED HIM STUDY A
SCENE, THROW THE SCRIPT AWAY
AND AD‐LIB A BRAND‐NEW ONE.
EVERYONE WAS MOVED.
THE WRITER WAS IN TEARS.
GOD, I WISH I COULD
TAKE HIS SEMINAR.
LET ME SEE THAT.
"HARVEY KEITEL'S HOW TO KILL,
DIE AND PLAY THE PIANO NAKED."
ALL THIS FOR 1,300 BUCKS?
IT INCLUDES LUNCH.
WELL, MY TOO‐SWEET THESPIAN
WHY DON'T YOU USE YOUR
HALF OF THAT BOND MONEY?
YOU WASHED AS MANY
CARS AS KHADIJAH.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I JUST
MADE BUBBLES WITH THE SOAP
AND PLAYED ELEPHANT
WITH THE HOSE.
WELL, THERE YOU GO.
YOU PROVIDED THE
HILARIOUS MORALE BOOSTER
THAT KEPT KHADIJAH
LATHERING AT PEAK EFFICIENCY.
SYNCLAIRE, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST GO AND TALK TO KHADIJAH?
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M GOING TO LET HER KNOW
IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS
THAT WE'LL SPLIT THAT
BOND EVEN‐STEVEN.
GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING, KHADIJAH.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO
HAVE HALF OF MY JUICE?
OR PERHAPS HALF A BAGEL?
OR WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME HALF AND
HALF IN YOUR COFFEE?
I AM TOO EXCITED TO EAT.
WE GET THE NEW COMPUTER TODAY.
SO DON'T FORGET TO
DEPOSIT THE BOND MONEY.
KHADIJAH, I INSIST YOU ALLOW ME
TO SPLIT THIS BAGEL
RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE
AND GIVE YOU 50%.
OKAY, SYNCLAIRE. THANKS.
SEE YOU AT THE OFFICE.
DAMN, IT'S GOING
TO BE A GOOD DAY.
I DON'T KNOW, THEY
SAID IT MIGHT RAIN.
THEN TOMORROW,
FLOWERS WILL GROW.
WE THOUGHT WE WAS GOING TO
HAVE TO PULL YOU UP OFF OF HER.
ALL RIGHT, KYLE, WHAT
DO YOU SAY, AFTER WORK
WE GET SOME DINNER
AND CATCH THE 10:00 SHOW?
ALL RIGHT, KYLE.
THERE'S ONLY ONE
THING THAT I HATE WORSE
THAN TALKING ABOUT US
AND THAT'S LISTENING
TO YOU SIGH ABOUT US.
WHY DOES MY LITTLE
DIRECTORY HAVE YOU SO UPSET?
BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE BLACK
BOOK IS LIKE SCRAPPLE TO ME.
SCRAPPLE?
THAT BRICK OF GRAY
STUFF IN THE MEAT SECTION?
YES. WHEN I WAS
A KID, I LOVED IT.
THEN ONE DAY, I
READ IT CONTAINED
EVERY PIECE OF THE PIG LEFT
AFTER THEY MADE HOT DOGS.
AND LET'S JUST SAY
THE MAGIC FADED.
AND MY LITTLE BLACK
BOOK IS LIKE THAT?
YES.
I WAS BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING.
PRAY TELL, SIR,
NOT KNOWING WHAT?
THAT YOUR LITTLE BLACK BOOK
CONTAINS ONE MORE
ENTRY THAN MINE.
REALLY?
NOW YOU KNOW THE UGLY TRUTH.
OH, AND THAT'S WHAT'S
GOT YOU SO DOWN.
OH, POOR BABY‐CITO.
OH, THE TORTURE
TO YOUR MANLY PRIDE.
OH.
OH, THAT'S... AH.
OH.
FINALLY, AFTER THREE YEARS
ON THIS CHICKEN‐YARD MAGAZINE
YOU MAKE A GOOD DECISION.
WELL, I FINALLY
HAD ENOUGH MONEY.
AND I THOUGHT
RAISE FOR RUSSELL,
BUY A COMPUTER
GLAD YOU AGREE WITH MY DECISION.
NOW WHAT'S UP WITH THE BAT?
AS SOON AS THIS
COMPUTER IS INSTALLED
I'M TAKING THE OLD ONE OUT BACK
AND BEAT IT TILL I'M DIZZY.
I'M HERE FOR THE
WEDNESDAY PHOTO RUN.
IVAN, IT'S TUESDAY.
OH, I'LL WAIT.
OH, COOL, A NEW COMPUTER.
IT DOES EVERYTHING.
IT DOES LAYOUT, E‐MAIL.
I CAN EVEN SEND PHOTOS
AND FAXES OVER THE PHONE LINES.
WA‐WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR THEN?
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.
IT'S BEEN REAL.
MIGHT I ADD THAT THIS
COMPUTER CANNOT PROVIDE YOU
WITH LOVE AND SUPPORT.
IT ALSO WON'T STALK ME.
WELL, THEN, I GUESS THAT'S IT.
DO YOU MIND IF I JUST
WANDER AROUND AIMLESSLY
THINKING ABOUT WHAT
MIGHT HAVE BEEN?
KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.
I'M THINKING ABOUT THAT TOO.
MS. JAMES, UM, THE
BANK TELLS ME THERE ARE
INSUFFICIENT FUNDS
IN YOUR ACCOUNT.
THAT CAN'T BE.
YES, I'M SURE IT'S JUST
SOME CLERICAL ERROR.
BREAK IT DOWN, FELLAS.
SYNCLAIRE, THANK GOD.
SHE JUST MADE THE DEPOSIT
INTO THE ACCOUNT TO COVER THE...
THIS IS FOR ONLY
HALF THE AMOUNT.
WHERE IS THE REST OF THE MONEY?
IT'S A FUNNY THING...
GIVE ME THE UNFUNNY VERSION.
I SPENT THE OTHER
HALF OF THE MONEY
ON MY ACTING SEMINAR.
OH, JAH.
THE BLASTED GIRL HAS SENT
US BACK INTO THE DARK AGES.
YES!
PRAYER WORKS.
IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO START PRAYING.
OH, GENTLEMEN.
DON'T FORGET THE BUBBLE PACK.
YOU KNOW, BOSS LADY,
THERE IS A SILVER LINING.
NOW I GET MY RAISE.
I GET MY RAISE.
I GET MY RAISE.
SO I JUST STOOD THERE
AS THEY WHEELED MY BIG,
BEAUTIFUL COMPUTER AWAY.
I'M GOING TO KILL SYNCLAIRE.
Synclaire: HEY,
EVERYBODY, I'M HOME.
OH, SHE ANNOUNCES HERSELF.
MAN, THAT'S LIKE THE
CHRISTIANS YELLING
"HEY, LIONS, WE'RE HERE!"
HI, KHADIJAH. BACK FROM
LUNCH. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
YOU JUST GOING
TO WALK UP IN HERE
AND ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE?
DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE
ME FOR JUST A SECOND?
I DID NOT WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR
UNTIL I WAS TOTALLY COMMITTED.
I WAS CONVINCED, BABY.
I KNOW THERE IS NO WAY
FOR YOU TO EXPLAIN
WHAT YOU DID TODAY
SO I'M GOING TO
GIVE YOU 30 SECONDS
TO MAKE STUPID EXCUSES.
HOLD ON, KHADIJAH.
YOU'VE BEEN RANTING AND RAVING
EVER SINCE YOU GOT HOME.
WHAT DID MY LITTLE SWEET PEA DO
THAT GOT YOU SO
BENT OUT OF SHAPE?
SHE LIED ABOUT
DEPOSITING THE BOND MONEY
SHE PRACTICALLY RUINED MY CREDIT
AND WHEN I FINALLY GOT
THE TRUTH OUT OF HER
SHE DISAPPEARS FOR
THE REST OF THE DAY.
UH, WELL, YOU KNOW...
UM... I GOT A POLICY
OF NOT INTERFERING
IN ARGUMENTS BETWEEN
RELATIVES SO, UM...
WE'LL BE UPSTAIRS WHEN
THIS BLOWS OVER, BABY.
MAYBE I DIDN'T GO ABOUT
THIS THE RIGHT WAY.
MAYBE?
OKAY, I DIDN'T GO ABOUT
THIS THE RIGHT WAY.
IT'S JUST THAT THIS ACTING
SEMINAR IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME.
IT IS TAUGHT BY HARVEY KEITEL
FOUNDER OF THE ROBERT
DE NIRO STYLE OF ACTING.
COME ON, SYNCLAIRE.
THAT'S JUST ANOTHER
ONE OF YOUR WHIMS.
SOME PEOPLE WOULD SAY
THAT PUBLISHING A MAGAZINE
WITH NO CROSSWORD PUZZLES
AND NO COMIC STRIPS IS A WHIM.
THIS IS JUICIER THAN THE
SOAP OPERA I WORK ON.
LOOK, SYNCLAIRE
I HAVE WORKED
TOWARDS THIS MAGAZINE
SINCE THE TENTH GRADE AND YOU
YOU HAVE BEEN AN
ACTRESS FOR TEN MINUTES
AND NEXT WEEK, WHEN
YOU DECIDE TO BECOME...
OH! A SNAKE WRANGLER
I'M STILL GOING TO BE
WITHOUT A COMPUTER.
LOOKY HERE.
I'VE PUT IN LONG
HOURS AT FLAVOR.
AND I'VE ACCEPTED THE LOW WAGES
AND NOW I'M GOING FOR MINE.
I'M AN ACTRESS.
SYNCLAIRE JAMES IN TECHNICOLOR
AND SURROUND SOUND.
OOH, THE AUDIENCE IS LISTENING.
WHAT? DID YOU... HELLO?
KHADIJAH.
HELLO?
RUSS... RUSS?
RUSSELL, SLOW DOWN.
HOW MANY PAGES DID WE LOSE?
WE'RE JUST GOING TO
HAVE TO DO IT BY HAND.
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
- 00 A. M.
THE COMPUTER BROKE DOWN AGAIN.
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
WELL, I'M NOT
BUT I WON'T STAND HERE
GIVING YOU THE SATISFACTION
OF WATCHING ME NOT BE.
WELL, I TELL YOU THIS‐‐
IF YOU EVER DO MAKE
IT AS AN ACTRESS
YOU'LL NEVER BE ON
THE COVER OF FLAVOR.
RIGHT!
BECAUSE YOU WON'T HAVE
THE GRAPHIC CAPABILITIES.
WHY DO I EVEN DEAL
WITH THAT WOMAN?
BECAUSE YOU REALIZE
THAT EVERY TIME MAX DOES
SOMETHING REALLY CRUEL TO YOU
IT'S JUST HER DYSFUNCTIONAL
WAY OF DENYING HER VERY REAL
AND VERY STRONG
ATTRACTION TO YOU.
OVERTON.
EVERYTHING IS SO
SIMPLE IN YOUR WORLD.
MAX AND I ARE
SOPHISTICATED, URBANE PEOPLE
WITH A COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP
AND REAL PROBLEMS...
AND SHE'S HAD ONE
MORE LOVER THAN ME, MAN!
SHORTY, IT SOUNDS TO ME
THIS IS NOTHING MORE THAN
A LITTLE EGO PROBLEM, BRO.
AS I TOLD YOU, THERE
IS NO SUCH THING
AS LITTLE EGO PROBLEMS
ONLY LITTLE EGOS.
AND YOURS IS CLEARLY BRUISED.
KYLE, REMEMBER
IN THE FIFTH GRADE
WHEN ROSEANNE ROBERSON CHIPPED
MY WOODEN FOLD‐OUT TAPE MEASURE?
IT SPINS UPON THE
WINDMILLS OF MY MIND.
SHORTY, I LOVED THAT WOMAN
BUT ANYTIME I TRIED
TO MEASURE ANYTHING
MY STOMACH WOULD
JUST KNOT UP ON ME.
THEN ONE DAY FORTIFIED
WITH THE KNOWLEDGE
THAT PEOPLE ARE MORE
IMPORTANT THAN THINGS‐‐
AND WOOD IS BIODEGRADABLE‐‐
I TOSSED THE ACCURSED TOOL
TO THE MIGHTY CUYAHOGA RIVER
AND JUST WATCHED IT FLOAT AWAY.
OVERTON WHAT DOES
THAT SACCHARIN INCIDENT
HAVE TO DO WITH MY
RELATIONSHIP WITH MAXINE?
I SUGGEST A PURGING.
DESTROY ANYTHING THAT
DISTRACTS YOU AND MAX
FROM THE HERE AND NOW.
IN OTHER WORDS, WHY DON'T YOU
BURN THOSE BLACK BOOKS, MAN?
AND WHILE WE'RE DESTROYING
NATIONAL MONUMENTS
WHY DON'T I JUST GO
TIP OVER STONEHENGE?
THAT'S PROBABLY MAX.
WE WERE SUPPOSED
TO GO TO DINNER.
HEY, LOOK HERE.
I GOT A POLICY‐‐
NEVER INTERFERE IN ARGUMENTS
BETWEEN INSANE LOVERS.
I'M GOING TO GO TO MY ROOM
AND MAKE SURE YOU DISCONNECT
THE SMOKE DETECTORS
BEFORE Y'ALL BURN
THOSE BLACK BOOKS.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S BOOGIE.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A SEAT?
UH, MAXINE?
WHAT WOULD YOU
SAY TO THE PROPOSAL
THAT WE BURN OUR BLACK BOOKS?
I HAVE AN EVEN BETTER IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
PLUCK OUT MY EYEBALLS
AND USE THEM FOR FRUIT SALAD?
LOOK, IF THIS THING IS
SO IMPORTANT TO YOU
WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT,
FIND AN ANONYMOUS WOMAN
EVEN UP THE SCORE.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS. WE
BOTH KNOW WHO WE ARE.
YOU'VE DATED PEOPLE,
I'VE DATED PEOPLE.
I'M IN YOUR BLACK
BOOK, YOU'RE IN MINE.
WHOA, WHOA. HOLD UP‐‐
YOU'RE NOT IN MY BLACK BOOK.
NO, I CONSIDER YOU
SOMEWHAT A FRIEND.
REALLY?
WELL, YOU IN MINE, SO...
I SHOULD BE OFFENDED BY THAT
BUT YET, I FEEL
STRANGELY VINDICATED.
ALL RIGHT, MAXINE...
WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.
THERE.
NOW THE SCALES ARE BALANCED.
WHY'D YOU DRAW JUMPER
CABLES NEXT TO MY NAME?
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?
COME, SIMBA, LET'S EAT.
MOMMY, I DON'T WANT
TO GO TO SCHOOL!
OH.
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
WATCHING HARVEY KEITEL
NAKED IN THE PARK?
I HAVE A JOB TO DO, KHADIJAH.
YOU KNOW I ALWAYS COME IN EARLY
WHENEVER THE
COMPUTER BREAKS DOWN.
OH!
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL
ME YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO BUY A COMPUTER
WITH YOUR HALF?
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE
EXPECTED YOU TO READ MY MIND
BUT YOU KNOW I'VE
ALWAYS HAD A PROBLEM
STANDING UP FOR MYSELF.
YOU'RE GETTING BETTER.
JUST LAST WEEK, REMEMBER
WHAT YOU SAID TO THAT GUY?
"HEY, MAN, I SAID
ORIGINAL, NOT EXTRA CRISPY
AND I MEANT IT."
THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN
IT COMES TO YOU.
YOU CAN BE PRETTY INTIMIDATING
WHEN IT COMES TO FLAVOR.
IF I GET A LITTLE INTENSE
IT'S ONLY BECAUSE
FLAVOR IS OUR DREAM.
NO.
OUR DREAM WAS
TO BE ON SOUL TRAIN.
BUT THAT NEVER HAPPENED,
MISS REFUSE‐TO‐WEAR‐A‐MIDRIFF.
FLAVOR IS YOUR DREAM, NOT MINE.
YOU KNOW, I'VE...
ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT ONE DAY
I WOULD BE C. E. O. OF
FLAVOR ENTERPRISES
AND YOU'D BE PRESIDENT.
OF THE UNITED STATES?
OF FLAVOR ENTERPRISES.
OH.
KHADIJAH, I NEVER THOUGHT
YOU FELT THAT WAY.
WELL, IT'S JUST A RUBBER‐STAMP
POSITION FOR LEGAL PURPOSES
BUT STILL... IT WAS A LITTLE
PRESUMPTUOUS OF ME
TO THINK YOU DIDN'T
HAVE YOUR OWN PLANS.
YES, IT WAS.
LOOK, I HAVE NEVER BEEN
VERY GOOD AT SAYING I'M SORRY.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
I'M SORRY TOO.
LOVE YOU, BOO.
CRAZY FAMILY.
SPENDING EACH OTHER'S MONEY
AND HUGGING BEFORE DAWN.
I TELL YOU, IT'S BABYLON.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
LET'S SEE WHAT HARVEY TAUGHT
MY LITTLE PHI BETA ACTRESS.
OKAY. FIRST, I KILL.
YOU SHOOT HIM, I
SWEAR, YOU'LL DIE NEXT.
BLAM! BLAM‐BLAM, BLAM‐BLAM!
OH, MY.
FRIGHTENINGLY REAL.
NOW I DIE.
DAMN, GIRL.
YOUR LIFE JUST
FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES.
AND NOW, I PLAY THE PIANO.
BRAVA!
UH, BRAVISSIMO.
IF THAT WASN'T WORTH
$1,300, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON,
GIRL, BEFORE YOU CATCH COLD.