Living Single (1993–1998): Season 3, Episode 5 - Rags to Riches - full transcript
It's 2:00 in the morning.
What are y'all still doin' up?
There is good quality
programming on at this hour.
That's "Godzilla."
I know, but if you
look real close
you see young Marlon
Brando being squashed
by his mighty tail.
Yeah, right, you're
not fooling me.
Y'all just trippin'
because Kyle and Overton
are not back from
that bachelor party yet.
Not even!
Overton told me it was gonna
be a very mundane affair.
‐ Pfft. ‐ Yeah.
Nothing says mundane like
a stripper and a
few ping‐pong balls.
Well, the way I see
it, they're just enjoying
the time‐honored male
tradition. Acting stupid.
How do you figure
into this visual?
I'm here to lend support.
And on the off chance,
there might be a big ugly fight.
‐ Hey. ‐ Hey!
Look who's back
from the boys club?
So, you hidin' any hickeys?
Be gone, little woman.
What's wrong, Obie?
Nothing, other than the
fact that my life has spun
hopelessly out of control.
Now, we were makin' our
rounds at the bachelor party, right?
When we came across a few
of the more plebeian
partiers watching..
Uh, how should I put this?
Um, a film geared toward
mature sensibilities.
Oh, a skin flick!
Standard, or girls‐with‐girls?
Sadly, the former. Ha!
Uh, well, at any rate
we couldn't help but
notice a certain actor
who had a vague resemblance
to a certain handyman, oh!
"Vague?"
It was like I was standing
in front of a
full‐length mirror.
And I do mean full‐length.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh and in a
nineties kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪ What? ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want? ♪
♪ No free position girl ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Hey, put that paper down.
I have got some real news.
This afternoon I
am going to land
the job of a lifetime!
Well, I thought they said
you were too top‐heavy
to be a figure skater.
I'm talking about fashion.
Anyway, just so happens
that the boutique has been sold
to Jean Luc Gerard
or, as the world knows him.
Monsieur Luc.
That guy who owns that
chichi poo‐poo boutique
on Upper East Side, that
sells the $1000 socks?
That's him.
And now, he's poised
to conquer Downtown
via my little shop.
Well, what makes you
think he's poised to hire
your little behind?
Well, he just has to.
'Cause I'm going to wow him
with a thorough presentation
mm‐hmm, and I just bought this.
"How to suck up in French."
Well, I don't even
know what she said
but I feel flattered.
It means.
"Is the sun shining?
I can't tell when
you're smiling."
Ooh‐ooh‐la‐la.
What's French for..
You guys, I have got to get
this job with Monsieur Luc.
All my life, I've had
one simple dream.
To make the world
look as good as me.
Who am I kidding?
I'll just make it
look presentable.
Wish me luck.
Hey‐hey.
Well, if it isn't
Mr. Handy‐Drawers.
Oh, ease up, Max
I feel bad enough about
my body‐double‐trouble.
Shoot, why couldn't my
look‐alike be a respectable man?
Or a world leader
a famous athlete
the man who introduced
earth and wind to fire?
Look, it could be worse.
Our Cousin Chris
is a dead ringer
for James Earl Jones.
‐ Why is he ashamed of
that? ‐ She's not ashamed.
It's just hard for
her to get dates.
Okay, come on now, Obie
I know you're embarrassed
but we know it's not you
and you know it's not
you so woo‐woo‐woo.
Well, thanks, baby, but
unfortunately, the
Jones clan at Cleveland
is not quite so perceptive.
As we speak, old Cousin Bumpy
probably running
over to the homestay
with a videotape in his hand
and treachery in his heart.
Who's Cousin Bumpy?
Uh, family member with
the unfortunate distinction
of being both a
pervert and a big mouth.
'By this time tomorrow'
my folks will be on
the mourner's bench
at Shiloh Baptist,
prayin' for my fallen soul.
You look that much
like this mattress man?
Well, in truth, we only
caught a passing glimpse.
You know, it's not easy
to ask a room full of men
to rewind a tape, so you can
get look at a naked brother.
Then rent the video
and make sure.
Kyle, take Overton
down to the video store
and head straight to the
freaky‐sneaky section.
Tres bien.
I want these floors buffed
within an inch of their lives.
Bop‐bop‐bop‐bop‐bop.
I should be able to
see my Cheshire grin
in every tile.
Excuse me.
Ah!
Bonjour, Monsieur Luc.
Au chante, mademoiselle.
Oh, my goodness.
I feel like I'm in the
presence of royalty.
‐ Mm. ‐ Ah!
A hand‐stitched sport coat
made of wool from the
underbellies of Tibetan sheep.
Ah, female sheep.
Surely someone so wise
in the ways of fashion
can be none other
than Regine Hunter.
Oh, well, merci!
I had no idea that I
was so well‐known
in the fashion community.
You attached an eight‐by‐ten
color photograph to your resume.
By the way, that stretch
wig you were wearing
what a madcap touch.
Well, that's me.
Madcap Regine.
Uh, "Madcap" is good, right?
Oh‐ho‐ho, sans doute.
We must all be a little crazy
to work in this glamorously
wicked business.
Well, heck, I‐I can be crazy.
I mean, I can be
downright schizophrenic.
I must warn you
this new store
will be worlds away
from anything you are used to.
As you can see,
we are laying waste
to Mary's little boutique.
Oh, wow, you're even expanding
into the pizza shop next door.
Adieu, Papa Pepperoni.
Ah! The things I could
do with all that extra space.
So tell me, what
kind of merchandise
will you be tempting us with?
It will be outrageous.
Garments such as
these will be banished.
Look at that price tag, eh?
‐ Two hundred dollars. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
Poof.
Catching people and
their wallets off guard
has been my dream
since I was a
well‐coiffed toddler.
But when I worked for
Mary, my hands were tied.
The woman even
stocked crushed velvet.
Crushed velvet is in.
I love crushed velvet.
You know, I could
tell by your resume
you are a woman of vision.
Ah. Monsieur Luc
I know, in my heart,
that I could work
small miracles as your buyer.
So do I.
Unfortunately, Monsieur Luc
does his own buying. Adieu.
N‐no, wait, wait, wait.
Monsieur Luc, uh,
surely there must be
something that I can do, huh?
I mean, after all,
heh, I‐I am Madcap.
Certainly.
Oh, such a dilemma
for Monsieur Luc.
What to do? What to do?
Oh! I am looking for a manager.
I practically ran this place!
Monsieur Luc, what can I
possibly say to convince you?
Other than..
Regine, you are
a brazen kiss‐ass.
I treasure that in a manager.
Welcome to my employ.
Thank you! Oh! Muah. Muah.
How many of that man's
videos did you rent?
Just one.
Overton padded the transaction
to delude the
perversion quotient.
Let's see, we got a
"Herbie, The Love Bug"
uh, "Fievel Goes West"
uh, "Bedknobs and Broomsticks."
The Director's Cut.."
And our feature attraction
starring the one and only.
Nas‐s‐s‐T.
‐ "Nas‐T." Never
heard of him. ‐ 'Mm‐hm.'
That's because he's
brand spanking new.
And incidentally
that happens to be
the title of the film.
‐ "Brand Spanking.."
‐ There you go.
So, ladies and gentlemen..
It's showtime. Ah!
Uh, Synclaire, you might
wanna leave the room now
as to avoid this
pagan spectacle.
Obie, of course not. I'm
gonna sit right here by your side.
Plus, I wanna see if this is
one of the ones with a plot.
I can't believe I'm watching
a porno flick with my friends.
‐ Just watch, there
he is. ‐ Which one?
The one with the baseball hat
the overalls, the tool
belt, and the paddle.
He's turning around... now.
Oh, my.
Overton, you're a star.
'Hey, handyman.'
Bonjour!
'Regine!'
Bienvenue.
Welcome to your new home!
What did you do to the boutique?
Oh, my God, is that a tube top?
Available in ten
fluorescent colors.
But you don't sell this..
Stuff in your other
New York stores.
Exactement.
This is for, uh the
less discriminating.
That is why I call
it "Le Rag Bin."
"Le Rag Bin?"
The discount chain?
It's impossible.
How else you think I
keep my exclusive shops
up and running?
At Monsieur Luc Boutique
if we sell one item a week
it's considered brisk business.
At Le Rag Bin, we average
one sale every
twenty‐two‐and‐one‐half seconds.
Cha‐ching.
Try on your smock, binmaster.
‐ "Binmaster?" ‐
And not to forget.
Your very own pricing gun.
Carry it with pride.
You there, you there, binmaster.
I thought this
was a classy joint
but when I went to try these on
a spider crawled out
of the back pocket.
Oh, then you've met our
quality control inspector.
Regine, you were rude to her.
Sorry.
I guess the smell
of Rayon and Charlie
went to my head.
Oh, no, no, no,
no. Rude is good.
If you are too accommodating,
the customer will suspect
that these bargains are
the sham that they are.
You know, um, Monsieur Luc..
I don't think that
I'm right for this job.
Oh, poppycock!
You are Rag Bin material
through and through.
Besides, Monsieur Luc
hires no one for his boutiques
who does not cut their eyeteeth
at Le Rag Bin.
My original managers are
now toasting their success
in gay Paris.
All of 'em?
All but one.
Such a shame.
No one thought that
she would actually jump.
‐ Au revoir. ‐ W‐wait.
‐ Wh‐where you going?
‐ Somewhere far, far away.
If Monsieur Luc is
caught around here
his reputation go poof!
Am I hallucinating
or is that Regine
wearing a poncho?
Who cares. They closed
down Papa Pepperoni.
I was one stamp
short of a free Calzone.
Hey! Reg..
Uh, Binmaster Reggie.
You know, when you
told me you'd be working
in a chic, upscale boutique
I pictured something,
oh, I don't know
chic and upscale.
It seems as if Monsieur
Luc neglected to tell me
he also owns Le Rag Bin.
It's his cash cow.
And you, a binmaster?
Dreams do come true!
I'm lovin' this.
Miss House Of Style
is slumming it
in the trailer park.
Okay, that's it!
Well, now, hold up now.
The shabby‐chic
look is in these days.
Oh, no, this just junk.
My mother.
Honey, why didn't you tell me
you were working
at the Le Rag Bin?
Uh, I have died
and gone to heaven.
That's right, Momma Hunter.
Your baby is the binmaster.
That's rag‐binese for manager.
Aw. My little girl has finally
made something of herself.
Oh.
Oh, shut up.
Hey‐hey.
You know, we
really hate to interrupt
a feel‐good movie of
several summers ago
but, uh, we thought you'd like
to hear this from friends. See‐‐.
See, I was visiting a client
down at Central Brooklyn today
when I ran into
your buddy Nas‐T.
Seems he was arrested
for exposing himself
in an adult theater.
Oh, that'll stop him from
making those smutty movies.
‐ Oh, no‐‐ ‐ No, probably not.
Because Alan Dershowitz
is turning it into a
First Amendment case.
So look forward to seeing Nas‐T
on "Richard Bey,"
"Jerry Springer".
"Nightline" infomercials
or even talking about a
sitcom with Tom Arnold, man.
That's it, it's time
to nip this in the bud.
I'm going upstairs to
call my mom and have
the second‐most
difficult conversation
with her I've ever had.
Don't ask.
Check out the diva of discount.
Oh, I have had
it with that place.
Man, tomorrow I'd
bid adieu to Le Rag Bin
and bonjour to the
unemployment line.
You can't just
give up like that.
What about the big promotion?
Gay Paris?
At what price, Khadijah?
I could wake up one morning
in a corduroy jumper
and saddle shoes
and be okay with it.
You could also wake
up on a park bench
'cause you couldn't
make the rent.
Now, you are
paying dues, Regine.
Come on, now,
we all had to do it.
Hello?
Hello, bonjour, Monsieur Luc.
I love to travel.
See? I told you!
Uh‐huh.
Mm, great.
Yeah, well, uh,
peace out, Mr. Luc.
‐ So? So? ‐ I'm
travelling tomorrow.
All the way to the docks
to pick up a shipment of
burlaps skirts from Ecuador.
My contact's name is One Eye.
How am I supposed
to know how this looks?
There aren't any
mirrors in here.
Um, well believe me, miss
that dress is you and then some.
Really? And I
thought it was too big.
Excuse me, miss. I
need your expert opinion.
Can you tell me
what goes with this?
Sure, why not?
Why can't I tell you
what goes with that, huh?
After all, my life is over.
Let's see, something as daring
as a red vinyl bustier
needs a much more
conservative partner, hmm?
Like, uh.. Ooh, these
leopard‐print knee pants.
‐ Nice. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
Now, you gotta make
it sing with accessories.
How about this
genuine faux gold belt?
Oh, that's good.
Wait a minute now, you
can't leave without shoes.
And shoes
are the foundation
of any great outfit.
Now, tell me, don't these
babies scream subtle?
Finally, our exclusive.
Mardi Gras Chapeau.
Check this out.
Each plume is handpicked
from Ethiopian vultures.
So are our rags your riches?
Oh, absolutely.
‐ What? ‐ Oh.
I should explain, I'm
not shopping for myself.
I'm Veronica Mills, head
costumer on "Palo Alto."
The daytime drama?
Mm‐hmm, and today I'm picking up
a few things for
Bambi, the town slut.
Ooh, I adore Bambi!
And I don't think
she's so much a slut
as much as she is misunderstood.
Mm, well, she has
been misunderstood
by virtually every
character on the show.
Wow, it must be so glamorous
buying for a soap.
Oh, please, it's hard
to be glamourous
when you're working
a double shift.
My assistant quit on me
I can't tell you how
desperate I am to replace her.
Really? Hold that thought,
let me get my resume.
Excuse me.
Oh, excuse me, come
on. Excuse me, come on.
Let a.. Let a sister through.
Let me.. Ack!
Two for one!
Oh, Miss Mills.
Mmm.
Mm‐mm.
Impressive resume.
Nice wig.
Regine, you've got the job.
‐ I'll see you Monday. ‐ Oh.
Meantime, pull this outfit
together in a size‐three
and bring it by the studio.
Yes, ma'am. Thank
you, Miss Mills.
Oh, thanks a lot!
Are you gonna dance
around like a drunken puppet
or are you going to help me?
Alright, listen up.
As of this moment
all of you bottom
feeders are on your own
'cause Regine Hunter
is climbing up outta
this here swamp.
So if I ever see any of you
on the street again, beware
because I'm gonna remember
every one of your
greedy little faces!
And if you ever
see me on the street
well, you just slither
over to the other side.
Unless you want
to feel the wrath..
Of the binmaster.
We'll be right back.
Happy days are here again!
Wow! You‐you're in a good
mood. Did you talk to your mom?
Yep, just got off the phone.
As I suspected, Cousin Bumpy
showed her the offending tape
but she wasn't
fooled for a minute.
Well, maybe a minute.
But then, she realized
that all her sons
have innies
and this Nas‐T dude,
was definitely an outie.
Okay.
So, now, it's time to watch.
"Herbie, My Favorite
Volkswagen."
That wacky love bug,
he's got a mind all his own.
Oh. Oh. Now, this isn't
the Herbie I remember.
Yeah, I don't
remember a orgy scene.
Ooh.
"Herbie, The Lust Bug?"
Woo‐hoo!
What are y'all still doin' up?
There is good quality
programming on at this hour.
That's "Godzilla."
I know, but if you
look real close
you see young Marlon
Brando being squashed
by his mighty tail.
Yeah, right, you're
not fooling me.
Y'all just trippin'
because Kyle and Overton
are not back from
that bachelor party yet.
Not even!
Overton told me it was gonna
be a very mundane affair.
‐ Pfft. ‐ Yeah.
Nothing says mundane like
a stripper and a
few ping‐pong balls.
Well, the way I see
it, they're just enjoying
the time‐honored male
tradition. Acting stupid.
How do you figure
into this visual?
I'm here to lend support.
And on the off chance,
there might be a big ugly fight.
‐ Hey. ‐ Hey!
Look who's back
from the boys club?
So, you hidin' any hickeys?
Be gone, little woman.
What's wrong, Obie?
Nothing, other than the
fact that my life has spun
hopelessly out of control.
Now, we were makin' our
rounds at the bachelor party, right?
When we came across a few
of the more plebeian
partiers watching..
Uh, how should I put this?
Um, a film geared toward
mature sensibilities.
Oh, a skin flick!
Standard, or girls‐with‐girls?
Sadly, the former. Ha!
Uh, well, at any rate
we couldn't help but
notice a certain actor
who had a vague resemblance
to a certain handyman, oh!
"Vague?"
It was like I was standing
in front of a
full‐length mirror.
And I do mean full‐length.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh and in a
nineties kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪ What? ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want? ♪
♪ No free position girl ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Hey, put that paper down.
I have got some real news.
This afternoon I
am going to land
the job of a lifetime!
Well, I thought they said
you were too top‐heavy
to be a figure skater.
I'm talking about fashion.
Anyway, just so happens
that the boutique has been sold
to Jean Luc Gerard
or, as the world knows him.
Monsieur Luc.
That guy who owns that
chichi poo‐poo boutique
on Upper East Side, that
sells the $1000 socks?
That's him.
And now, he's poised
to conquer Downtown
via my little shop.
Well, what makes you
think he's poised to hire
your little behind?
Well, he just has to.
'Cause I'm going to wow him
with a thorough presentation
mm‐hmm, and I just bought this.
"How to suck up in French."
Well, I don't even
know what she said
but I feel flattered.
It means.
"Is the sun shining?
I can't tell when
you're smiling."
Ooh‐ooh‐la‐la.
What's French for..
You guys, I have got to get
this job with Monsieur Luc.
All my life, I've had
one simple dream.
To make the world
look as good as me.
Who am I kidding?
I'll just make it
look presentable.
Wish me luck.
Hey‐hey.
Well, if it isn't
Mr. Handy‐Drawers.
Oh, ease up, Max
I feel bad enough about
my body‐double‐trouble.
Shoot, why couldn't my
look‐alike be a respectable man?
Or a world leader
a famous athlete
the man who introduced
earth and wind to fire?
Look, it could be worse.
Our Cousin Chris
is a dead ringer
for James Earl Jones.
‐ Why is he ashamed of
that? ‐ She's not ashamed.
It's just hard for
her to get dates.
Okay, come on now, Obie
I know you're embarrassed
but we know it's not you
and you know it's not
you so woo‐woo‐woo.
Well, thanks, baby, but
unfortunately, the
Jones clan at Cleveland
is not quite so perceptive.
As we speak, old Cousin Bumpy
probably running
over to the homestay
with a videotape in his hand
and treachery in his heart.
Who's Cousin Bumpy?
Uh, family member with
the unfortunate distinction
of being both a
pervert and a big mouth.
'By this time tomorrow'
my folks will be on
the mourner's bench
at Shiloh Baptist,
prayin' for my fallen soul.
You look that much
like this mattress man?
Well, in truth, we only
caught a passing glimpse.
You know, it's not easy
to ask a room full of men
to rewind a tape, so you can
get look at a naked brother.
Then rent the video
and make sure.
Kyle, take Overton
down to the video store
and head straight to the
freaky‐sneaky section.
Tres bien.
I want these floors buffed
within an inch of their lives.
Bop‐bop‐bop‐bop‐bop.
I should be able to
see my Cheshire grin
in every tile.
Excuse me.
Ah!
Bonjour, Monsieur Luc.
Au chante, mademoiselle.
Oh, my goodness.
I feel like I'm in the
presence of royalty.
‐ Mm. ‐ Ah!
A hand‐stitched sport coat
made of wool from the
underbellies of Tibetan sheep.
Ah, female sheep.
Surely someone so wise
in the ways of fashion
can be none other
than Regine Hunter.
Oh, well, merci!
I had no idea that I
was so well‐known
in the fashion community.
You attached an eight‐by‐ten
color photograph to your resume.
By the way, that stretch
wig you were wearing
what a madcap touch.
Well, that's me.
Madcap Regine.
Uh, "Madcap" is good, right?
Oh‐ho‐ho, sans doute.
We must all be a little crazy
to work in this glamorously
wicked business.
Well, heck, I‐I can be crazy.
I mean, I can be
downright schizophrenic.
I must warn you
this new store
will be worlds away
from anything you are used to.
As you can see,
we are laying waste
to Mary's little boutique.
Oh, wow, you're even expanding
into the pizza shop next door.
Adieu, Papa Pepperoni.
Ah! The things I could
do with all that extra space.
So tell me, what
kind of merchandise
will you be tempting us with?
It will be outrageous.
Garments such as
these will be banished.
Look at that price tag, eh?
‐ Two hundred dollars. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
Poof.
Catching people and
their wallets off guard
has been my dream
since I was a
well‐coiffed toddler.
But when I worked for
Mary, my hands were tied.
The woman even
stocked crushed velvet.
Crushed velvet is in.
I love crushed velvet.
You know, I could
tell by your resume
you are a woman of vision.
Ah. Monsieur Luc
I know, in my heart,
that I could work
small miracles as your buyer.
So do I.
Unfortunately, Monsieur Luc
does his own buying. Adieu.
N‐no, wait, wait, wait.
Monsieur Luc, uh,
surely there must be
something that I can do, huh?
I mean, after all,
heh, I‐I am Madcap.
Certainly.
Oh, such a dilemma
for Monsieur Luc.
What to do? What to do?
Oh! I am looking for a manager.
I practically ran this place!
Monsieur Luc, what can I
possibly say to convince you?
Other than..
Regine, you are
a brazen kiss‐ass.
I treasure that in a manager.
Welcome to my employ.
Thank you! Oh! Muah. Muah.
How many of that man's
videos did you rent?
Just one.
Overton padded the transaction
to delude the
perversion quotient.
Let's see, we got a
"Herbie, The Love Bug"
uh, "Fievel Goes West"
uh, "Bedknobs and Broomsticks."
The Director's Cut.."
And our feature attraction
starring the one and only.
Nas‐s‐s‐T.
‐ "Nas‐T." Never
heard of him. ‐ 'Mm‐hm.'
That's because he's
brand spanking new.
And incidentally
that happens to be
the title of the film.
‐ "Brand Spanking.."
‐ There you go.
So, ladies and gentlemen..
It's showtime. Ah!
Uh, Synclaire, you might
wanna leave the room now
as to avoid this
pagan spectacle.
Obie, of course not. I'm
gonna sit right here by your side.
Plus, I wanna see if this is
one of the ones with a plot.
I can't believe I'm watching
a porno flick with my friends.
‐ Just watch, there
he is. ‐ Which one?
The one with the baseball hat
the overalls, the tool
belt, and the paddle.
He's turning around... now.
Oh, my.
Overton, you're a star.
'Hey, handyman.'
Bonjour!
'Regine!'
Bienvenue.
Welcome to your new home!
What did you do to the boutique?
Oh, my God, is that a tube top?
Available in ten
fluorescent colors.
But you don't sell this..
Stuff in your other
New York stores.
Exactement.
This is for, uh the
less discriminating.
That is why I call
it "Le Rag Bin."
"Le Rag Bin?"
The discount chain?
It's impossible.
How else you think I
keep my exclusive shops
up and running?
At Monsieur Luc Boutique
if we sell one item a week
it's considered brisk business.
At Le Rag Bin, we average
one sale every
twenty‐two‐and‐one‐half seconds.
Cha‐ching.
Try on your smock, binmaster.
‐ "Binmaster?" ‐
And not to forget.
Your very own pricing gun.
Carry it with pride.
You there, you there, binmaster.
I thought this
was a classy joint
but when I went to try these on
a spider crawled out
of the back pocket.
Oh, then you've met our
quality control inspector.
Regine, you were rude to her.
Sorry.
I guess the smell
of Rayon and Charlie
went to my head.
Oh, no, no, no,
no. Rude is good.
If you are too accommodating,
the customer will suspect
that these bargains are
the sham that they are.
You know, um, Monsieur Luc..
I don't think that
I'm right for this job.
Oh, poppycock!
You are Rag Bin material
through and through.
Besides, Monsieur Luc
hires no one for his boutiques
who does not cut their eyeteeth
at Le Rag Bin.
My original managers are
now toasting their success
in gay Paris.
All of 'em?
All but one.
Such a shame.
No one thought that
she would actually jump.
‐ Au revoir. ‐ W‐wait.
‐ Wh‐where you going?
‐ Somewhere far, far away.
If Monsieur Luc is
caught around here
his reputation go poof!
Am I hallucinating
or is that Regine
wearing a poncho?
Who cares. They closed
down Papa Pepperoni.
I was one stamp
short of a free Calzone.
Hey! Reg..
Uh, Binmaster Reggie.
You know, when you
told me you'd be working
in a chic, upscale boutique
I pictured something,
oh, I don't know
chic and upscale.
It seems as if Monsieur
Luc neglected to tell me
he also owns Le Rag Bin.
It's his cash cow.
And you, a binmaster?
Dreams do come true!
I'm lovin' this.
Miss House Of Style
is slumming it
in the trailer park.
Okay, that's it!
Well, now, hold up now.
The shabby‐chic
look is in these days.
Oh, no, this just junk.
My mother.
Honey, why didn't you tell me
you were working
at the Le Rag Bin?
Uh, I have died
and gone to heaven.
That's right, Momma Hunter.
Your baby is the binmaster.
That's rag‐binese for manager.
Aw. My little girl has finally
made something of herself.
Oh.
Oh, shut up.
Hey‐hey.
You know, we
really hate to interrupt
a feel‐good movie of
several summers ago
but, uh, we thought you'd like
to hear this from friends. See‐‐.
See, I was visiting a client
down at Central Brooklyn today
when I ran into
your buddy Nas‐T.
Seems he was arrested
for exposing himself
in an adult theater.
Oh, that'll stop him from
making those smutty movies.
‐ Oh, no‐‐ ‐ No, probably not.
Because Alan Dershowitz
is turning it into a
First Amendment case.
So look forward to seeing Nas‐T
on "Richard Bey,"
"Jerry Springer".
"Nightline" infomercials
or even talking about a
sitcom with Tom Arnold, man.
That's it, it's time
to nip this in the bud.
I'm going upstairs to
call my mom and have
the second‐most
difficult conversation
with her I've ever had.
Don't ask.
Check out the diva of discount.
Oh, I have had
it with that place.
Man, tomorrow I'd
bid adieu to Le Rag Bin
and bonjour to the
unemployment line.
You can't just
give up like that.
What about the big promotion?
Gay Paris?
At what price, Khadijah?
I could wake up one morning
in a corduroy jumper
and saddle shoes
and be okay with it.
You could also wake
up on a park bench
'cause you couldn't
make the rent.
Now, you are
paying dues, Regine.
Come on, now,
we all had to do it.
Hello?
Hello, bonjour, Monsieur Luc.
I love to travel.
See? I told you!
Uh‐huh.
Mm, great.
Yeah, well, uh,
peace out, Mr. Luc.
‐ So? So? ‐ I'm
travelling tomorrow.
All the way to the docks
to pick up a shipment of
burlaps skirts from Ecuador.
My contact's name is One Eye.
How am I supposed
to know how this looks?
There aren't any
mirrors in here.
Um, well believe me, miss
that dress is you and then some.
Really? And I
thought it was too big.
Excuse me, miss. I
need your expert opinion.
Can you tell me
what goes with this?
Sure, why not?
Why can't I tell you
what goes with that, huh?
After all, my life is over.
Let's see, something as daring
as a red vinyl bustier
needs a much more
conservative partner, hmm?
Like, uh.. Ooh, these
leopard‐print knee pants.
‐ Nice. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
Now, you gotta make
it sing with accessories.
How about this
genuine faux gold belt?
Oh, that's good.
Wait a minute now, you
can't leave without shoes.
And shoes
are the foundation
of any great outfit.
Now, tell me, don't these
babies scream subtle?
Finally, our exclusive.
Mardi Gras Chapeau.
Check this out.
Each plume is handpicked
from Ethiopian vultures.
So are our rags your riches?
Oh, absolutely.
‐ What? ‐ Oh.
I should explain, I'm
not shopping for myself.
I'm Veronica Mills, head
costumer on "Palo Alto."
The daytime drama?
Mm‐hmm, and today I'm picking up
a few things for
Bambi, the town slut.
Ooh, I adore Bambi!
And I don't think
she's so much a slut
as much as she is misunderstood.
Mm, well, she has
been misunderstood
by virtually every
character on the show.
Wow, it must be so glamorous
buying for a soap.
Oh, please, it's hard
to be glamourous
when you're working
a double shift.
My assistant quit on me
I can't tell you how
desperate I am to replace her.
Really? Hold that thought,
let me get my resume.
Excuse me.
Oh, excuse me, come
on. Excuse me, come on.
Let a.. Let a sister through.
Let me.. Ack!
Two for one!
Oh, Miss Mills.
Mmm.
Mm‐mm.
Impressive resume.
Nice wig.
Regine, you've got the job.
‐ I'll see you Monday. ‐ Oh.
Meantime, pull this outfit
together in a size‐three
and bring it by the studio.
Yes, ma'am. Thank
you, Miss Mills.
Oh, thanks a lot!
Are you gonna dance
around like a drunken puppet
or are you going to help me?
Alright, listen up.
As of this moment
all of you bottom
feeders are on your own
'cause Regine Hunter
is climbing up outta
this here swamp.
So if I ever see any of you
on the street again, beware
because I'm gonna remember
every one of your
greedy little faces!
And if you ever
see me on the street
well, you just slither
over to the other side.
Unless you want
to feel the wrath..
Of the binmaster.
We'll be right back.
Happy days are here again!
Wow! You‐you're in a good
mood. Did you talk to your mom?
Yep, just got off the phone.
As I suspected, Cousin Bumpy
showed her the offending tape
but she wasn't
fooled for a minute.
Well, maybe a minute.
But then, she realized
that all her sons
have innies
and this Nas‐T dude,
was definitely an outie.
Okay.
So, now, it's time to watch.
"Herbie, My Favorite
Volkswagen."
That wacky love bug,
he's got a mind all his own.
Oh. Oh. Now, this isn't
the Herbie I remember.
Yeah, I don't
remember a orgy scene.
Ooh.
"Herbie, The Lust Bug?"
Woo‐hoo!