Living Single (1993–1998): Season 3, Episode 26 - Compromising Positions - full transcript
‐ Hey, Kyle. ‐ Oh,
what's up, dawg?
What's up, my
precious little pruner?
‐ Muah. ‐ Muah.
Hey, ain't it time for
your favorite game show?
"Queen For A Day"
hosted by RuPaul.
Oh. No, no, no.
Not for another hour.
Hmm.
Oh, well, um..
Can you make me some toast?
Absolutely.
Kyle, would you like
some toast as well?
English muffin, please.
‐ Butterin' only
the nooks. ‐ Okay.
Oh, very sly, Overton.
The toast request
was a stroke of genius.
‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ So, what's up?
Well, I wanted you
to be the first to know.
I'm gonna ask
Synclaire to marry me.
Alright, look, I‐I
know you're shocked
'cause the Obie schedule love
doesn't have me proposing to her
for another six to eight months
but, hey, man, my heart
couldn't wait no longer.
Wait, wait, Overton,
when, when that last girl
rejected your
proposal, you told me
that you would
cut out your tongue
before you asked another
woman to marry you.
Well, now I can look back
and see the humor in that
desire to mutilate myself.
Look, man, just‐just so you
know that when you get married
it is for the rest
of your life, right?
That is day in and day out.
Until you die, and they
bury you side by side.
In the same plot.
Yuck!
Man..
Decomposing with
my baby forever.
Man, that's beautiful.
That's sick.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh and in a
'90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight with ♪
♪ My home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue Tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want ♪
♪ No free position girl ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Ooh! Beef bourguignon..
Croissant!
Hey, I know you and
Keith like all these stuff
but since when do
your mama eat fu‐fu‐fu?
She'll eat it.
All I have to do is tell her
it's something like sawmill stew
and horseshoe biscuits.
Last week's meatloaf.
‐ Who's this for? ‐ Max!
It'll keep him from
grabbing a fork
and pulling a chair
right up to the stove.
Keith meeting your
mom. Sounds serious.
Well, it's more of a
precautionary measure.
I mean, before I get too
much more involved with Keith
I've gotta make sure
he can stomach her.
Hey, maybe I ought to add some
tequila to the beef bourguignon.
Ahh!
Well, that outta keep
her from begging
for scraps under the table.
Could you give me
a hand with this?
Khadijah, I just have
the most fabulous idea.
Why don't you join us, huh?
I mean, there's plenty of food!
I‐it'll be fun.
Regine, I will not be the airbag
in this three‐car pile up
that could beat this dinner.
No, Khadijah, please.
Don't leave me like this.
Khadi..
‐ Hi. ‐ Hi.
Alright, enough of that.
I gotta brief you about my mama.
Re..
Regine, baby. I've been
around mothers before.
‐ I've even got one. ‐
Yeah. Baby, no. See.
Nobody has one of these but me.
Now, listen, here's
what I need you..
Okay. A word of caution
before I open the door.
Do not look directly
into her outfit.
‐ Baby! ‐ Mom!
I bought Champale!
Keith, this is my mother.
Mom, this is Keith.
Mrs. Hunter, it's a
pleasure to meet you.
So, this is the painter.
Now, Keith, I don't
wanna ask you
a whole lot of
personal questions..
But is there any mental illness
in your family?
Not anymore. All the really
crazy ones killed each other.
Alright, now, let's get
to the important stuff.
What do you think
of my new outfit?
Well, I think it
makes a statement.
It says you take risks and
you enjoy breaking the rules.
This one's a keeper, Regine!
Yo, Overton. I..
Overton, come here.
Now, are you sure about
this marriage concept thing?
Because as your best friend
it is my job to make sure
that you are not
doing this impetuously.
So, why don't you take a
decade or two to think about it?
Aw, you know, I
value your advice, Kyle
but, uh, this time
I received a sign
from an even higher authority.
God?
No offense, bro, but there
are few steps between you
and the Almighty, okay?
No, I'm talking
about the saleslady
down at Hobar's Antique Shop.
See, I was in the back
checking out this
Victorian chisel kit, right?
And I spotted her handing
Synclaire this diamond ring.
Man, when she
put it on her finger
her face just lit up.
And... that image
just said it all.
So, now all I need is for you
to give me back my money.
Oh! The money you won
from the basketball contest?
Man, you know that money's
tied up in a mini‐mall in Jersey!
What about your savings?
Oh, man, I had to
liquidate those assets.
My uncle's smoke guard needed
a little septic tank
in the worst way.
Well, Overton, you know
you can't get that money back
out of the mini‐mall without
paying a substantial penalty
on that $3000.
I gotta get that ring, man!
Yeah, guess I'm gonna
have to go see Victor Pinky
in his office at the
Burger King parking lot.
Overton, Overton, Ov, Ov..
Well, I guess if you're
willing to risk your pinkies
for Synclaire then
this is the right time.
So I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna arrange
financing for you.
‐ You'd do that for me,
man? ‐ My boy, man!
‐ Oh, thanks, man!
‐ It's me! Okay.
That's a load off my mind, man!
I was just thinking if
Victor Pinky didn't have it
I was thinking about
going to see Joe the Kidney.
I mean, I could
not believe it, yo!
Mom and Keith actually
talked for over an hour.
Mom was almost late
getting to her Bingo game.
'For real?'
The only time Mama
Hunter was ever late to Bingo
was the night the Poseidon
Adventure was on TV.
Umm, that Shelley Winters moved
through the water
like orca, didn't she?
Well, it makes sense that
Keith will like your mom.
You all have so much in common.
‐ Hi! ‐ Hi!
Mama Hunter, I have always
wanted a bag exactly like that.
Well, I didn't buy
this, I won it yesterday
playing Bingo and
qualified for Saint Cecilia's
$500 Holy Cash Cow Tournament.
But I'm not here to
toot my own horn.
I came here to give you this.
Oh!
I am so proud of
the daughter I raised.
Keith is talented,
he's successful.
Plus he treats you right
and he's got a sense of fashion.
Do you know soon
you'll be leafing
through the pages of
your wedding album?
And there'll be some
beans in that oven.
I finally feel like I've
done something right.
Oh, I'll see you
later, baby girl.
"Beans in the oven."
Regine, you just makes me wanna
call out some
perfect baby names.
Syncoverton!
Hey, uh, thanks again
for tolerating my mother.
Look. Stop thanking me, alright?
I like your mom.
Why are you saying this?
Is she here?
Look, your mom has real
spark. Alright? Like, "Boom!"
Spontaneous combustion.
Well, honey, I, I think you have
all the spontaneous combustion
you can handle right here.
Well, well, baby..
You know, you're more
like a smoldering campfire.
You glow a little
before you boom.
Excuse you!
But I am very spontaneous.
I don't think you're
up for the challenge.
Oh, see now, I think
you underestimate me.
Oh, really?
‐ Hey, dude. ‐ Hey,
man! Come‐come on.
So, so, did you get the ring?
Na, I went down there, and
damn if they hadn't already sold it.
Oh, no, no! Overton,
you can't give up!
Man, you can't
give up, you gotta go
back down to the
pawnshop, right?
And demand the name
and the number of the person
who bought that ring, and
then you got to go, man.
You gotta go down to that house
and not take "No" for an answer.
Because you gotta get that ring
for Synclaire, man, what's up?
I, I know, look. I
already got the name.
I already got the address.
The only thing holdin' me up
is you and your
motivational speech, okay?
Oh, well, get a receipt.
Ah! Hey, Overton!
No time to say "Hello" back.
What's his problem?
He seems to think
that I'm long‐winded
simply because I asked
him to take the initiative‐‐.
Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
Well, I will make this brief
so as not to annoy you.
Regine and Keith are up on
the roof getting their laundry.
Isn't that wonderful?
A man who helps
with the laundry.
You know, my first
husband, he couldn't leave‐‐.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
Say my name! Ah!
Oh! Say my name!
Regine.
Regine!
Ah, spell it!
Regine?
Regine!
Oh, oh, oh. Mommy!
It's not what it looks like!
Good cover, baby!
I loved my cupcakes.
Ma, let me explain!
Oh, no, baby. Those
are my drawers.
Oh!
You can't eat these
cupcakes now.
They, they're ruined.
They.. Nobody's gonna want them.
Um, Mrs. Hunter!
The door is jammed.
Here, let me get it.
Let me get it.
Oh, what a mess. What a mess.
Oh, icing's everywhere!
And I'm all out of, I'm
all out of vanilla extract.
It took so long to bake it.
Mom, would you forget
about the stupid cupcakes?
How could you do this?
I bring you goodies,
you're up here
giving yours away.
Alright. Now, see,
you're overreacting.
Ew, I've got to go!
Well, that was the most
embarrassing moment of my life.
Max!
‐ Yeah? ‐ Mr. Kellum.
Overton Wakefield Jones.
Oh, yeah, the young
lady at the antique store
said you'd get in touch with me.
‐ Well, come on in.
Come on in. ‐ Thank you.
Wow, that's a nice‐looking
coffee table you got there.
Yeah, mini‐compass.
Yeah, that's my one vice.
Nothing I like better than
to buzz the observation deck
of the World Trade Center
and watch all those
tourists scatter!
Uh, uh, sir, I, I was
wondering if you'd
consider selling me that
diamond ring you just bought
'cause I'd really
like for it to be
my Synclaire's engagement ring.
Synclaire, huh?
Well, tell me about her.
Well, it's kinda hard to
put Synclaire into words.
Did you ever get
up in the morning
and raise the blinds
and everything starts to glow?
That's what it's like every time
my baby walks into the room.
Hey, how's she built?
Yeah, she's stacked
up, pretty nice too!
Just like my Lily.
The first time I saw her
she had legs so pretty
I wanted to bet on 'em.
Uh, sir, I was kinda
hoping that, uh..
You and your wife would
wanna sell us the ring
after you hear the amazing
story that's connected to it.
See, uh, I spotted Synclaire
trying on the ring at the store
and it was at that
moment I was certain
that I wanted to propose
and that, that was the
ring that she should wear.
‐ Uh‐huh? ‐ Yeah.
Oh, oh, that's it?
That's the end?
Oh, that is pretty amazing.
You know, I, I bought
that ring back in 1943.
I was over fighting the
Germans over in France.
And luckily, I had
that ring on me
when our unit was
pinned down by enemy fire.
You see, our radio conked out.
And I signaled with
that diamond for help!
'Well, when I got back here'
'they threw me a big parade'
'and in the excitement
of celebration'
'I, I lost track of the ring.'
Until the other day
when I walked into
that antique store
and there it was!
Right down of the little nicks
it had from the Nazi bullets.
Huh. Well, so we
both have great stories.
Uh, look, I, I was
thinking about
talking to your wife about it
but I don't, I don't
wanna press you.
Oh, oh, wait. Come
on, come on, now.
You seem like a pretty
determined young man.
I'll, I'll go get her.
Overton!
This is my Lily.
Start talking.
Oh, after, uh, after meeting her
I can pretty much tell
her mind is made up.
You know, it, it's amazing
that Max was able to turn
out a four‐page newsletter
about the Regine incident
in such a short time!
You can't beat the title.
"Mom goes poof over roof goof."
Uh, Regine, um, I can understand
why you'd be a bit
humiliated right now
but, um, maybe you
should get a bucket of water.
What for, Kyle?
♪ The roof The roof ♪
♪ The roof is on fire ♪
Alright, come on now, Boo.
Now, you know,
you'd be clowning too
if the shoe on another foot.
Of course, in this case
the shoe was on
Keith's shoulder!
Come on, Khadijah!
Mama hasn't
talked to me in days.
I went by her house, and she
wouldn't even open the door!
Well, maybe she's
not in the mood.
This is a woman who'll talk
to anyone about anything.
She's made Jehovah's witnesses
say, "We really have to go."
Well, now, you're the
one always goin' on
about how you want
your mother out of your life.
‐ Now you got it. ‐ No, no.
See, if I'm not
talking to my mother
that's one thing.
But if she's not talking to me
that's just wrong.
I miss my mommy.
What was that?
I miss her. Alright?
Leave me the hell alone.
Well, it seems to me, you
need to just find a place
where she can't
get away from you.
How about the mall?
Umm. She knows
the layout too well.
Church.
Bingo!
Yeah, the big Bingo
tournament is tonight.
There's no way she'll miss that.
Well, so, grab Keith
go on down to the church,
and clear this whole thing up.
I don't know, Keith sent mom
the FTD "I'm So
Embarrassed" bouquet.
She sent him a "Thank You"
card with some cupcakes.
This is obviously
between mom and me.
Let's go, Khadijah.
Hold on!
I ain't goin'!
Ah, Khadijah, come on now!
Do it, do it for our
friendship, huh?
You, you can't
put a price on that!
Yes, I can. $50.
$50?
Hey! We're tight.
B‐51.
There she is, in her lucky hat.
The guy who sold it
to her is the lucky one.
Ma.
What are you doing here?
We need to talk.
I‐47.
You can't sit here.
This section is for
gold card players only.
Oh, thank you, sister girl.
‐ Ma, come on, we need to‐‐
‐ Regine, please, this is not‐‐
‐ Mommy, you're making a scene‐‐
‐ I'm not making a scene with‐‐.
Will you two stop?
The security nuns
are looking at us!
Alright now, look.
I've been trying to apologize
for this roof thing
for the last few days
but you won't let me!
Apologizing isn't
gonna change anything!
Oh, and shutting me out is?
O‐28.
‐ Now, ma, I need to‐‐
‐ Regine, this is a church.
I don't wanna hear it.
Well, ma, you're gonna hear it.
Now, I'm sorry
that you caught me
having spontaneous, wild sex
on the roof of my building!
Isn't that a long
title for a movie?
Now, is what I did
so unforgivable?
It's not what you did.
It's, it's what I've done.
It's all my fault.
G‐14.
Don't worry. I got
it, Mama Hunter.
Ma, what are you talking about?
Regine, the truth is,
you weren't planned!
I know. I've seen
the wedding pictures.
I mean, unless you had
the caterer up under there
you were obviously pregnant.
Well, what you don't
know is how it happened.
We were all by ourselves
up in the Left Field Bleachers
at Shae's Stadium.
Cleon Jones got a single
move, Steve in the second
and I got excited.
Then Ron Swoboda,
he rips a base hit
into the Right Field gap.
Sevar ran the third!
And as soon as Sevar scored..
Ooh‐sha! So did your father.
You have the soul
of a poet, mom.
Look, you were a
kid. You were just 17!
You weren't thinking.
I'm a grown woman.
And I don't like baseball.
Regine, I have raised you to
be more responsible than I was.
Then I see you up
on that roof, and it..
Oh, it's Ron Swoboda
all over again.
N‐43.
Booyah! Swap the thing! Fa‐fing!
Honey, I just want you
to have more choices
than I gave myself!
Ma!
Alright, look, no beans
are goin' in my oven
until I'm ready to cook them.
You and I are
completely different, okay?
I mean, I'm..
I'm‐I'm Ritz Carlton
and you're Ritz Crackers.
I'm DKNY and you're..
Where did you get that hat?
You're not just saying
this to make me feel better?
No, mom, no!
You and I are
completely different!
We're worlds apart.
Oh, oh, baby!
'B‐12.'
Bingo!
‐ Bingo! ‐ Bingo!
‐ Over here! I got it! ‐ Bingo!
Alright!
$500!
Next stop, Walmart!
Oh! No, no, no!
Over my dead body.
Lord and Taylor.
‐ Maisie's. ‐ Cool.
Hey! I marked the cards for you.
Don't I get a cut?
Oh, da..
Darn!
We'll be right back.
Wow! The city sure looks
different from 700 feet up!
Hey, how far you plannin' on
flyin' away from home, man?
Oh, relax! I got enough
fuel for another half hour.
Make that 15 minutes.
Oh, my!
You know, I haven't
had a co‐pilot up here
since my Lily passed away.
Oh, I, I feel honored.
By the way, how
did your wife die?
Well, let me put it this way.
See the Brooklyn Bridge?
‐ Yeah. ‐ See that big dent?
Uh‐huh.
‐ Duck! ‐ Oh!
Woo‐hoo!
what's up, dawg?
What's up, my
precious little pruner?
‐ Muah. ‐ Muah.
Hey, ain't it time for
your favorite game show?
"Queen For A Day"
hosted by RuPaul.
Oh. No, no, no.
Not for another hour.
Hmm.
Oh, well, um..
Can you make me some toast?
Absolutely.
Kyle, would you like
some toast as well?
English muffin, please.
‐ Butterin' only
the nooks. ‐ Okay.
Oh, very sly, Overton.
The toast request
was a stroke of genius.
‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ So, what's up?
Well, I wanted you
to be the first to know.
I'm gonna ask
Synclaire to marry me.
Alright, look, I‐I
know you're shocked
'cause the Obie schedule love
doesn't have me proposing to her
for another six to eight months
but, hey, man, my heart
couldn't wait no longer.
Wait, wait, Overton,
when, when that last girl
rejected your
proposal, you told me
that you would
cut out your tongue
before you asked another
woman to marry you.
Well, now I can look back
and see the humor in that
desire to mutilate myself.
Look, man, just‐just so you
know that when you get married
it is for the rest
of your life, right?
That is day in and day out.
Until you die, and they
bury you side by side.
In the same plot.
Yuck!
Man..
Decomposing with
my baby forever.
Man, that's beautiful.
That's sick.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh and in a
'90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight with ♪
♪ My home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue Tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want ♪
♪ No free position girl ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Ooh! Beef bourguignon..
Croissant!
Hey, I know you and
Keith like all these stuff
but since when do
your mama eat fu‐fu‐fu?
She'll eat it.
All I have to do is tell her
it's something like sawmill stew
and horseshoe biscuits.
Last week's meatloaf.
‐ Who's this for? ‐ Max!
It'll keep him from
grabbing a fork
and pulling a chair
right up to the stove.
Keith meeting your
mom. Sounds serious.
Well, it's more of a
precautionary measure.
I mean, before I get too
much more involved with Keith
I've gotta make sure
he can stomach her.
Hey, maybe I ought to add some
tequila to the beef bourguignon.
Ahh!
Well, that outta keep
her from begging
for scraps under the table.
Could you give me
a hand with this?
Khadijah, I just have
the most fabulous idea.
Why don't you join us, huh?
I mean, there's plenty of food!
I‐it'll be fun.
Regine, I will not be the airbag
in this three‐car pile up
that could beat this dinner.
No, Khadijah, please.
Don't leave me like this.
Khadi..
‐ Hi. ‐ Hi.
Alright, enough of that.
I gotta brief you about my mama.
Re..
Regine, baby. I've been
around mothers before.
‐ I've even got one. ‐
Yeah. Baby, no. See.
Nobody has one of these but me.
Now, listen, here's
what I need you..
Okay. A word of caution
before I open the door.
Do not look directly
into her outfit.
‐ Baby! ‐ Mom!
I bought Champale!
Keith, this is my mother.
Mom, this is Keith.
Mrs. Hunter, it's a
pleasure to meet you.
So, this is the painter.
Now, Keith, I don't
wanna ask you
a whole lot of
personal questions..
But is there any mental illness
in your family?
Not anymore. All the really
crazy ones killed each other.
Alright, now, let's get
to the important stuff.
What do you think
of my new outfit?
Well, I think it
makes a statement.
It says you take risks and
you enjoy breaking the rules.
This one's a keeper, Regine!
Yo, Overton. I..
Overton, come here.
Now, are you sure about
this marriage concept thing?
Because as your best friend
it is my job to make sure
that you are not
doing this impetuously.
So, why don't you take a
decade or two to think about it?
Aw, you know, I
value your advice, Kyle
but, uh, this time
I received a sign
from an even higher authority.
God?
No offense, bro, but there
are few steps between you
and the Almighty, okay?
No, I'm talking
about the saleslady
down at Hobar's Antique Shop.
See, I was in the back
checking out this
Victorian chisel kit, right?
And I spotted her handing
Synclaire this diamond ring.
Man, when she
put it on her finger
her face just lit up.
And... that image
just said it all.
So, now all I need is for you
to give me back my money.
Oh! The money you won
from the basketball contest?
Man, you know that money's
tied up in a mini‐mall in Jersey!
What about your savings?
Oh, man, I had to
liquidate those assets.
My uncle's smoke guard needed
a little septic tank
in the worst way.
Well, Overton, you know
you can't get that money back
out of the mini‐mall without
paying a substantial penalty
on that $3000.
I gotta get that ring, man!
Yeah, guess I'm gonna
have to go see Victor Pinky
in his office at the
Burger King parking lot.
Overton, Overton, Ov, Ov..
Well, I guess if you're
willing to risk your pinkies
for Synclaire then
this is the right time.
So I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna arrange
financing for you.
‐ You'd do that for me,
man? ‐ My boy, man!
‐ Oh, thanks, man!
‐ It's me! Okay.
That's a load off my mind, man!
I was just thinking if
Victor Pinky didn't have it
I was thinking about
going to see Joe the Kidney.
I mean, I could
not believe it, yo!
Mom and Keith actually
talked for over an hour.
Mom was almost late
getting to her Bingo game.
'For real?'
The only time Mama
Hunter was ever late to Bingo
was the night the Poseidon
Adventure was on TV.
Umm, that Shelley Winters moved
through the water
like orca, didn't she?
Well, it makes sense that
Keith will like your mom.
You all have so much in common.
‐ Hi! ‐ Hi!
Mama Hunter, I have always
wanted a bag exactly like that.
Well, I didn't buy
this, I won it yesterday
playing Bingo and
qualified for Saint Cecilia's
$500 Holy Cash Cow Tournament.
But I'm not here to
toot my own horn.
I came here to give you this.
Oh!
I am so proud of
the daughter I raised.
Keith is talented,
he's successful.
Plus he treats you right
and he's got a sense of fashion.
Do you know soon
you'll be leafing
through the pages of
your wedding album?
And there'll be some
beans in that oven.
I finally feel like I've
done something right.
Oh, I'll see you
later, baby girl.
"Beans in the oven."
Regine, you just makes me wanna
call out some
perfect baby names.
Syncoverton!
Hey, uh, thanks again
for tolerating my mother.
Look. Stop thanking me, alright?
I like your mom.
Why are you saying this?
Is she here?
Look, your mom has real
spark. Alright? Like, "Boom!"
Spontaneous combustion.
Well, honey, I, I think you have
all the spontaneous combustion
you can handle right here.
Well, well, baby..
You know, you're more
like a smoldering campfire.
You glow a little
before you boom.
Excuse you!
But I am very spontaneous.
I don't think you're
up for the challenge.
Oh, see now, I think
you underestimate me.
Oh, really?
‐ Hey, dude. ‐ Hey,
man! Come‐come on.
So, so, did you get the ring?
Na, I went down there, and
damn if they hadn't already sold it.
Oh, no, no! Overton,
you can't give up!
Man, you can't
give up, you gotta go
back down to the
pawnshop, right?
And demand the name
and the number of the person
who bought that ring, and
then you got to go, man.
You gotta go down to that house
and not take "No" for an answer.
Because you gotta get that ring
for Synclaire, man, what's up?
I, I know, look. I
already got the name.
I already got the address.
The only thing holdin' me up
is you and your
motivational speech, okay?
Oh, well, get a receipt.
Ah! Hey, Overton!
No time to say "Hello" back.
What's his problem?
He seems to think
that I'm long‐winded
simply because I asked
him to take the initiative‐‐.
Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
Well, I will make this brief
so as not to annoy you.
Regine and Keith are up on
the roof getting their laundry.
Isn't that wonderful?
A man who helps
with the laundry.
You know, my first
husband, he couldn't leave‐‐.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
Say my name! Ah!
Oh! Say my name!
Regine.
Regine!
Ah, spell it!
Regine?
Regine!
Oh, oh, oh. Mommy!
It's not what it looks like!
Good cover, baby!
I loved my cupcakes.
Ma, let me explain!
Oh, no, baby. Those
are my drawers.
Oh!
You can't eat these
cupcakes now.
They, they're ruined.
They.. Nobody's gonna want them.
Um, Mrs. Hunter!
The door is jammed.
Here, let me get it.
Let me get it.
Oh, what a mess. What a mess.
Oh, icing's everywhere!
And I'm all out of, I'm
all out of vanilla extract.
It took so long to bake it.
Mom, would you forget
about the stupid cupcakes?
How could you do this?
I bring you goodies,
you're up here
giving yours away.
Alright. Now, see,
you're overreacting.
Ew, I've got to go!
Well, that was the most
embarrassing moment of my life.
Max!
‐ Yeah? ‐ Mr. Kellum.
Overton Wakefield Jones.
Oh, yeah, the young
lady at the antique store
said you'd get in touch with me.
‐ Well, come on in.
Come on in. ‐ Thank you.
Wow, that's a nice‐looking
coffee table you got there.
Yeah, mini‐compass.
Yeah, that's my one vice.
Nothing I like better than
to buzz the observation deck
of the World Trade Center
and watch all those
tourists scatter!
Uh, uh, sir, I, I was
wondering if you'd
consider selling me that
diamond ring you just bought
'cause I'd really
like for it to be
my Synclaire's engagement ring.
Synclaire, huh?
Well, tell me about her.
Well, it's kinda hard to
put Synclaire into words.
Did you ever get
up in the morning
and raise the blinds
and everything starts to glow?
That's what it's like every time
my baby walks into the room.
Hey, how's she built?
Yeah, she's stacked
up, pretty nice too!
Just like my Lily.
The first time I saw her
she had legs so pretty
I wanted to bet on 'em.
Uh, sir, I was kinda
hoping that, uh..
You and your wife would
wanna sell us the ring
after you hear the amazing
story that's connected to it.
See, uh, I spotted Synclaire
trying on the ring at the store
and it was at that
moment I was certain
that I wanted to propose
and that, that was the
ring that she should wear.
‐ Uh‐huh? ‐ Yeah.
Oh, oh, that's it?
That's the end?
Oh, that is pretty amazing.
You know, I, I bought
that ring back in 1943.
I was over fighting the
Germans over in France.
And luckily, I had
that ring on me
when our unit was
pinned down by enemy fire.
You see, our radio conked out.
And I signaled with
that diamond for help!
'Well, when I got back here'
'they threw me a big parade'
'and in the excitement
of celebration'
'I, I lost track of the ring.'
Until the other day
when I walked into
that antique store
and there it was!
Right down of the little nicks
it had from the Nazi bullets.
Huh. Well, so we
both have great stories.
Uh, look, I, I was
thinking about
talking to your wife about it
but I don't, I don't
wanna press you.
Oh, oh, wait. Come
on, come on, now.
You seem like a pretty
determined young man.
I'll, I'll go get her.
Overton!
This is my Lily.
Start talking.
Oh, after, uh, after meeting her
I can pretty much tell
her mind is made up.
You know, it, it's amazing
that Max was able to turn
out a four‐page newsletter
about the Regine incident
in such a short time!
You can't beat the title.
"Mom goes poof over roof goof."
Uh, Regine, um, I can understand
why you'd be a bit
humiliated right now
but, um, maybe you
should get a bucket of water.
What for, Kyle?
♪ The roof The roof ♪
♪ The roof is on fire ♪
Alright, come on now, Boo.
Now, you know,
you'd be clowning too
if the shoe on another foot.
Of course, in this case
the shoe was on
Keith's shoulder!
Come on, Khadijah!
Mama hasn't
talked to me in days.
I went by her house, and she
wouldn't even open the door!
Well, maybe she's
not in the mood.
This is a woman who'll talk
to anyone about anything.
She's made Jehovah's witnesses
say, "We really have to go."
Well, now, you're the
one always goin' on
about how you want
your mother out of your life.
‐ Now you got it. ‐ No, no.
See, if I'm not
talking to my mother
that's one thing.
But if she's not talking to me
that's just wrong.
I miss my mommy.
What was that?
I miss her. Alright?
Leave me the hell alone.
Well, it seems to me, you
need to just find a place
where she can't
get away from you.
How about the mall?
Umm. She knows
the layout too well.
Church.
Bingo!
Yeah, the big Bingo
tournament is tonight.
There's no way she'll miss that.
Well, so, grab Keith
go on down to the church,
and clear this whole thing up.
I don't know, Keith sent mom
the FTD "I'm So
Embarrassed" bouquet.
She sent him a "Thank You"
card with some cupcakes.
This is obviously
between mom and me.
Let's go, Khadijah.
Hold on!
I ain't goin'!
Ah, Khadijah, come on now!
Do it, do it for our
friendship, huh?
You, you can't
put a price on that!
Yes, I can. $50.
$50?
Hey! We're tight.
B‐51.
There she is, in her lucky hat.
The guy who sold it
to her is the lucky one.
Ma.
What are you doing here?
We need to talk.
I‐47.
You can't sit here.
This section is for
gold card players only.
Oh, thank you, sister girl.
‐ Ma, come on, we need to‐‐
‐ Regine, please, this is not‐‐
‐ Mommy, you're making a scene‐‐
‐ I'm not making a scene with‐‐.
Will you two stop?
The security nuns
are looking at us!
Alright now, look.
I've been trying to apologize
for this roof thing
for the last few days
but you won't let me!
Apologizing isn't
gonna change anything!
Oh, and shutting me out is?
O‐28.
‐ Now, ma, I need to‐‐
‐ Regine, this is a church.
I don't wanna hear it.
Well, ma, you're gonna hear it.
Now, I'm sorry
that you caught me
having spontaneous, wild sex
on the roof of my building!
Isn't that a long
title for a movie?
Now, is what I did
so unforgivable?
It's not what you did.
It's, it's what I've done.
It's all my fault.
G‐14.
Don't worry. I got
it, Mama Hunter.
Ma, what are you talking about?
Regine, the truth is,
you weren't planned!
I know. I've seen
the wedding pictures.
I mean, unless you had
the caterer up under there
you were obviously pregnant.
Well, what you don't
know is how it happened.
We were all by ourselves
up in the Left Field Bleachers
at Shae's Stadium.
Cleon Jones got a single
move, Steve in the second
and I got excited.
Then Ron Swoboda,
he rips a base hit
into the Right Field gap.
Sevar ran the third!
And as soon as Sevar scored..
Ooh‐sha! So did your father.
You have the soul
of a poet, mom.
Look, you were a
kid. You were just 17!
You weren't thinking.
I'm a grown woman.
And I don't like baseball.
Regine, I have raised you to
be more responsible than I was.
Then I see you up
on that roof, and it..
Oh, it's Ron Swoboda
all over again.
N‐43.
Booyah! Swap the thing! Fa‐fing!
Honey, I just want you
to have more choices
than I gave myself!
Ma!
Alright, look, no beans
are goin' in my oven
until I'm ready to cook them.
You and I are
completely different, okay?
I mean, I'm..
I'm‐I'm Ritz Carlton
and you're Ritz Crackers.
I'm DKNY and you're..
Where did you get that hat?
You're not just saying
this to make me feel better?
No, mom, no!
You and I are
completely different!
We're worlds apart.
Oh, oh, baby!
'B‐12.'
Bingo!
‐ Bingo! ‐ Bingo!
‐ Over here! I got it! ‐ Bingo!
Alright!
$500!
Next stop, Walmart!
Oh! No, no, no!
Over my dead body.
Lord and Taylor.
‐ Maisie's. ‐ Cool.
Hey! I marked the cards for you.
Don't I get a cut?
Oh, da..
Darn!
We'll be right back.
Wow! The city sure looks
different from 700 feet up!
Hey, how far you plannin' on
flyin' away from home, man?
Oh, relax! I got enough
fuel for another half hour.
Make that 15 minutes.
Oh, my!
You know, I haven't
had a co‐pilot up here
since my Lily passed away.
Oh, I, I feel honored.
By the way, how
did your wife die?
Well, let me put it this way.
See the Brooklyn Bridge?
‐ Yeah. ‐ See that big dent?
Uh‐huh.
‐ Duck! ‐ Oh!
Woo‐hoo!