Living Single (1993–1998): Season 3, Episode 25 - Whatever Happened to Baby Sister? - full transcript
Listen to this.
"Dear Dr. Love, I'm
a professional woman
"who has trouble
with relationships.
"When a man gets
too close, I pull away
"and hurl scathing insults
"which may have
cost me a relationship
"that could have worked.
"How can I find happiness after
the bedspring stops squeaking?
Signed, The Maverick."
So?
So, so, this letter reeks
of Maxine Shaw Esquire.
Not to mention, Kyle, it's
signed, "The Maverick."
Isn't that her nickname?
Well, I've heard
her called "wench"
"shrew, soul‐numbing succubus"
‐ but never "The
Maverick." ‐ Mm‐hmm.
I am almost positive that's
what they called her in college.
I cannot wait to wave this
on her little man‐hating face.
Regine, this is a
national magazine.
Thousands of people write in.
I mean, I could've just
as easily written this.
Check it out, "Dear
Professor Sartorial
"I'm an incredibly good
looking stockbroker
"with a closet full of
stylish designer suits.
Why do my friends
think I am pompous?"
Damn, Kyle, that
sounds just like you.
Hardly.
I would never call myself
"Incredibly good‐looking."
Come on..
Stylishly handsome,
perhaps, but only to friends.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh in a nineties
kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪
♪ You gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Do what you want
no free position ♪
♪ Ha‐aa ♪
Now, you guys, I know I'm
right about Max writing this letter.
Yeah, right.
Like you were right
about Gary Coleman
proposing to Paula Abdul?
Hello? Hey, daddy.
Wow, he hasn't called
here in six months.
Yeah, he must have
signed up for that
new long distance program,
"Estranged Friends and Family."
No, I don't have any
plans for this weekend.
Why, what's up?
Oh, she is.
Alright, sure, no problem.
Look, I'm kinda busy
right now, daddy.
Love you, bye.
Phew.
Stephanie is coming to
New York for a track meet
and he wants me to
babysit the little spoilt brat.
‐ She is your
sister. ‐ Half sister.
Who I haven't seen
since I was fifteen.
When she took my Fashion
Fair mahogany lipstick
and wrote all over my
walls, "Khadijah got big jugs."
Mmm, Stephanie
was only ten then.
I wonder if she's taller.
Hey, the dwarf gene
runs in our family.
Uncle Darren is fifty and still
buys his clothing at Baby Gap.
Overton, if someone
wanted to get into the offices
of a major magazine
to, oh, I don't know
rifle through their files,
how would they go about it?
Well, that's the question
that prompts you to
ask more questions.
Like, what type of
alarm do they have?
Infrared or ultrasonic.
Is there roof access?
Can you land a chopper?
W‐w‐wa‐wa‐wait.
You actually asked
him that, right?
Regine, you are
obsessed with this.
Hey, as you should be, pal.
Now, Max said
that she screwed up
a relationship that
could have worked.
Which means that she
is just an emotional wreck
over your breakup.
Hi, people.
Wow. Okay. Oh ho ho.
Oh.
Mmm.
That's good stuff.
Hey, girl, you seen, uh,
this month's issue of, uh.
"Magnifique?"
Yeah, there's a letter in it
from a really pathetic woman
who sabotages relationships.
Interesting, huh?
Maverick.
Not at all, jackass.
Uh, Maverick, you know,
lately I have been wondering
whether the only woman
who ever pulled away from me
regretted it?
I don't know, all I
remember is you pullin' away
after 30 seconds.
Yeah, that's usually
when I open my eyes.
This must stop. Look, Max.
These two little busybodies
think that you wrote
some letter to Dr. Love.
Please, yeah, I wrote a letter
to a‐a magazine I
know you all read.
Well, listen, next month
check out my, uh,
piece in "Highlights."
Uh, trading peanut butter
for baloney, the art of the deal.
Check that out, you two.
She wrote it.
And she know we know.
How she gonna fix her
mouth to lie like that?
Please, the woman
lives and breathes fiction.
You know, girly told me that
she would be my love slave
if I made her pancakes.
After the fourth stack,
she was sound asleep
and I was scrubbing
the grittle in my socks.
Stephanie, from Chicago!
No, Mary, from Liberia.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You're the seventh
stranger I've hugged today.
'All runners for the
second heat, five minutes.'
Hey, that's, that's Stephanie.
‐ Khadijah! Synclaire! ‐ Hi.
What are you guys doing here?
Oh, you must be covering
the meet for your magazine.
Listen, before you take
my picture, let me run
a couple of laps so I
can get my glow on.
No, actually, I'm here
cause daddy called.
Oh, I get it. Don't tell me.
"Keep an eye on my baby, make
sure she doesn't get mixed up
with any of those
New York City pimps."
You know how your father
is when it comes to you.
You're his little Steffipoo.
Uh, huh, well.
I'm not ten and my
mom is in Chicago.
Oh, look, don't waste
that little attitude on me.
I didn't want to come
here in the first place.
Listen, why don't you
come back after dinner
I'm sure, dad asked
you to burp me.
Oh, she's got a mouth like you.
Bigger.
Uh, uh, smaller.
Uh, whatever would
please you, just don't hit me.
A little more to the left.
Stephanie, what're
you doin' here?
A very big thing.
Listen, I thought about it and
I guess I was kind of snotty.
So, yes, I'm apologizing.
You're welcome.
Well, you know how I
hate apologizing too.
So, I'm not even gonna fake it.
No, no, I really am sorry.
Besides, it's daddy's fault,
you know him, always pressing.
"Who's this guy you're dating."
"Don't you pay for your
Visa with your MasterCard."
Now, see, he and my mother
got divorced when I was five.
I didn't have any dates
or credit cards at the time.
You were lucky.
Those finance charges
are worse than homework.
Listen. While you're here, I
might as well give you the tour.
Behold the "Flavor" empire.
This is the reception area.
Where I do all the recepting.
This is our layout
and graphics section.
And this is our Ivan.
Ivan, this is my little
sister, Stephanie.
‐ What's up? Nice
to meet you. ‐ H‐hi.
So tell me more about our Ivan.
Well, he is a sophomore at NYU.
Tsk, he's a copy aid here,
and an occasional migraine.
And he's 1200 miles
away from daddy
so he won't be checking up on
us, you know what I'm saying?
Not really. Chill for a minute.
Um, Ivan. I need
you to do me a favor.
What you need me to do?
Lay an article,
write some headlines
draw you a tepid bath with
pink and white rose petals?
I thought it would
be a good idea
if you and Stephanie
hung out tonight.
Promised my father I'd look
out for her when she was here.
You passing the care of
your little sister onto me?
Well, that's a thrill.
That's an honor.
Well, actually it's a
combination of both.
Like a thronor.
Why don't you just
shut up and ask her out.
Alright.
Uh, Stephanie,
um, I was thinking
you know, if you
weren't busy later‐‐.
Six o'clock, at the guest
quarters on East 53rd.
See you later,
Khadijah. Bye, Synclaire.
Oh, and I will see you
tonight, Ivan, dress is casual.
Well, damn, where am
I supposed to take her?
I don't know, where do you
usually go on Friday nights?
Well, I sit on my bike across
the street from your house.
Hey, Max, you'll be able
to relate to this movie.
It's about a man‐hating
woman who joins a convent.
It's called "Mother
Superior Maverick."
Synclaire, your
hamster got loose again
and rolled around
in your makeup.
I don't believe this.
That was Stephanie's roommate.
The girl missed curfew.
Ugh!
Where the hell have you been?
We went to a party.
♪ Party over here
party over here ♪
Ahh!
♪ Party over there ♪
Stephanie, what the
hell is wrong with you?
Mmm.
Oh.
Oh, the little angel's
tuckered out from dancing.
She's stinkin' drunk.
Ivan, talk. Fast.
Well, uh, we was
at a really crowded
dorm party and we got separated.
Next thing I know, she
was dancing with a hat rack.
Uh, listen, I'm sorry,
Khadijah, I let you down, and..
If you need me I'll
be across the street
performing CPR
on my dying heart.
No, all I did was eat
these little jiggly cubes.
I've a green tongue, see?
Yeah, well, give it
some time, honey.
By tomorrow, the rest
of you'll be green too.
Jelly shots.
Gelatin and green alcohol.
That's how grandma
kept the kids quiet. Uh.
Okay, Stephanie,
you missed curfew
you're drunk..
I mean, what do you
have to say for yourself?
Come on, out with it.
Oh! Damn!
Well, look on the bright side.
She did it on Regine's
favorite slippers.
What's that?
My special elixir for hangovers.
Tomato juice, a
chocolate yoo‐hoo.
And a boiled egg.
Wow, it's got kick.
Oh, honey, drink this.
It'll make you feel better.
‐ Um, what is it? ‐ Apple juice.
Hmm.
Don't get too comfortable.
I called Coach Braxton
and covered for you.
You got warm‐ups at 1 o'clock.
Thanks, but I'm
not running today.
Or ever.
I'm quitting.
Stephanie!
You can't give up your
dream of‐of‐of winning
the Olympic Decathlon.
That's not my dream.
Yeah, well, it's one of mine.
Okay, hold up there.
You've been running
since junior high school.
Now, all of a sudden
you don't feel like it?
No. When I first
started running I loved it.
But then all of a
sudden I started winning.
And then I didn't have a
father, I had a live‐in coach.
Do you know that man built a
track for me in the backyard?
Four hundred and thirty
two times around is a mile.
Poor little Stephanie.
Daddy made her
run and she ended up
gettin' a college scholarship.
You are just like dad.
You think you're always right.
You know, I don't care.
You can't make me run.
See, now that's
where you're wrong.
Now, I promised daddy
I would look out for you
while you are here.
And you're going
to that track meet
if I have to drag you.
The only way that's gonna
happen is if you knock me out.
Huh.
Wait, Khadijah, I'm
going. No, I'm going!
What is wrong with you?
First you wipe up her vomit
then you threaten to kill her.
Y'all are bonding.
Kyle.
What?
Styrofoam peanuts for dinner.
What're we having for
dessert? Bubble wrap?
No, silly, it's a decoy bag.
See, whenever I come home with
groceries, Max always shows up.
So, when she gets here, you
will dredge up enough sincerity
to get her to confess
that she wrote the letter.
Regine, you are a
sick, sick woman.
And I love you for it.
♪ Sunshine ♪
♪ Attorney in love ♪
♪ Guilty innocent ♪
Okay.
Uh, Maxine, Maxine, I got a
serious question to ask you.
Yes, Kyle, I faked
every one of 'em.
Uh, maybe, I ought to
give you two some privacy.
Yeah, that's a
good idea, Regine.
Why don't you come over here.
This bannister might collapse,
I need a little test dummy.
Mmm.
Maxine, look, I know that
our breakup crushed you
and I just want you
know that I'm here for you.
And you can tell me
anything. I mean anything.
Kyle, you're right.
I mean, I guess I should've
come and talked to you
about how I felt
since we broke up.
Pain.
All the pain..
That you two've been in my ass.
I told you, I did not
write that freaking letter.
Man, Kyle, you couldn't
get dirt from a dustbuster.
Oh, hold up, you Minute
Meda, let me tell you something.
I'm goin' back upstairs
and do what I was
supposed to be doin' all along
which is minding
my own business.
Buh‐bye.
See, you lyin'!
I mean, I knew I should've
just hypnotized you
with a canned ham.
Can you believe those clowns?
I hear you.
So, they give you a free
copy of the magazine
when they ran your letter?
No, just a release form
and this coupon for tampons.
No, Khadijah.
There's no way I can run.
Sure you can. Come on, now.
One day you're gonna thank
me for dragging you out here.
'Next up, the
women's 100 meters.'
Oh, that's it. Go get 'em, girl.
‐ Okay. ‐ Come on, now.
'Ready. Set.'
'Push it, Steph, push it.'
I got it.
Oh, damn, I lost it.
Oh, hey there, Stephanie.
I baked you some
victory brownies.
They're in the kitchen
cooling off right now.
And why am I talking
to nobody at all?
What happened?
Well, lets just
say that this time
she made it to the bathroom.
Khadijah, I think it was my
Great Uncle Smoke‐Eye who said.
"When there's
frost on the pumpkin
"and moss in the well..
That's when the squirrels
come out laughing."
Synclaire, you want
to help me out here?
Be good to her, be kind to her.
I don't really get
that squirrels part.
Well, she does seem pretty down.
Maybe, I should go talk to her.
♪ Slide slide slippitty‐slide ♪
♪ Just forget about your
troubles and your nine to five ♪
♪ You just sail along
that's what you do ♪
♪ You just sail along hey ♪
Maybe your mascot
taking a swing on you
was not clear enough.
You lost.
Seriously?
Oh, well.
Ooh, Synclaire, I
think we should, uh
go on upstairs, babe.
‐ No, I want to stay. ‐ No.
No, see, this is like one
of them little family things.
I'm family, maybe you should go.
Oh, now, now, wait,
hold on a minute.
Few minutes ago,
you were drinkin'
from the fountain of my wisdom.
Now, it's like I
don't know diddly?
Would you excuse us
please, Khadijah, Stephanie?
Overton and I have something
to discuss out in the hallway.
Overton, come along.
We'll be right back.
‐ Oh, no, we won't.
‐ Oh, yes, we will.
‐ Mama, we ain't coming
back. ‐ I got something to say.
What you tellin' me, huh? What?
You tellin' me..
Ow!
How can you party like this?
Listen, I may have lost the race
but I won the 100‐yard puke.
I feel liberated.
Alright.
You'll be liberated
from that gold card
when daddy finds
out you got drunk.
You never call dad
and when you finally do
it's to tell on me.
Some big sister you are.
Psst. Don't talk to me
about being a good sister.
I seen you twice in ten years.
The first time I'm
hosing down my wall.
The second time I'm
mopping up my floor.
I don't know what's
gonna happen the next time
but everything is
getting covered in plastic.
Like there's gonna
be a next time.
You don't like having me around.
You're jealous because I grew
up with daddy and you didn't.
Well, maybe I
am a little jealous.
I didn't get a funky little race
track around my backyard.
Shoot, I didn't even
get the big pimp speech.
At least you didn't get the.
"Why can't you be more
like Khadijah?" speech.
What're you talking about?
"Khadijah held down two
jobs while she was in college.
"Khadijah started
her own magazine.
"Khadijah, the mover, the shaker
the proud black
woman on the move."
I could run my whole life.
I'd never catch up to you.
Mover and a shaker, huh?
Dang, maybe I should put
that man's number in speed dial.
You know, you two should talk.
And if you could
come up with a problem
for him to solve
for an hour or so
maybe he'd get off my case.
You don't know what it's like.
He has enough overprotectiveness
for two daughters.
But, I'm the only one there.
Hmm..
And all this time I
thought you were a brat.
But you're really just
a misunderstood girl
who gets too much attention
and everything she wants, huh?
And I thought you were bossy.
But you're just a
regular person who thinks
she's in charge of the world.
Well.
Glad we understand
each other now.
Things should run more smoothly
the next time you come visit.
Next time?
Sure.
Could be nice having someone
around, who idolizes me.
We decided to stay
for the argument.
Don't go away, we
will be right back.
Okay, baby sister.
You got the speed
the youth and the ability.
But I got one thing on my side.
I'm willing to die
to win this race.
‐ Ahh. ‐ Okay, take your marks.
Get set.
Go!
Okay, okay.
How about the shot put?
Pole vault?
Javelin?
Okay, sister toss, sister toss.
Woo‐hoo!
"Dear Dr. Love, I'm
a professional woman
"who has trouble
with relationships.
"When a man gets
too close, I pull away
"and hurl scathing insults
"which may have
cost me a relationship
"that could have worked.
"How can I find happiness after
the bedspring stops squeaking?
Signed, The Maverick."
So?
So, so, this letter reeks
of Maxine Shaw Esquire.
Not to mention, Kyle, it's
signed, "The Maverick."
Isn't that her nickname?
Well, I've heard
her called "wench"
"shrew, soul‐numbing succubus"
‐ but never "The
Maverick." ‐ Mm‐hmm.
I am almost positive that's
what they called her in college.
I cannot wait to wave this
on her little man‐hating face.
Regine, this is a
national magazine.
Thousands of people write in.
I mean, I could've just
as easily written this.
Check it out, "Dear
Professor Sartorial
"I'm an incredibly good
looking stockbroker
"with a closet full of
stylish designer suits.
Why do my friends
think I am pompous?"
Damn, Kyle, that
sounds just like you.
Hardly.
I would never call myself
"Incredibly good‐looking."
Come on..
Stylishly handsome,
perhaps, but only to friends.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh in a nineties
kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪
♪ You gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Do what you want
no free position ♪
♪ Ha‐aa ♪
Now, you guys, I know I'm
right about Max writing this letter.
Yeah, right.
Like you were right
about Gary Coleman
proposing to Paula Abdul?
Hello? Hey, daddy.
Wow, he hasn't called
here in six months.
Yeah, he must have
signed up for that
new long distance program,
"Estranged Friends and Family."
No, I don't have any
plans for this weekend.
Why, what's up?
Oh, she is.
Alright, sure, no problem.
Look, I'm kinda busy
right now, daddy.
Love you, bye.
Phew.
Stephanie is coming to
New York for a track meet
and he wants me to
babysit the little spoilt brat.
‐ She is your
sister. ‐ Half sister.
Who I haven't seen
since I was fifteen.
When she took my Fashion
Fair mahogany lipstick
and wrote all over my
walls, "Khadijah got big jugs."
Mmm, Stephanie
was only ten then.
I wonder if she's taller.
Hey, the dwarf gene
runs in our family.
Uncle Darren is fifty and still
buys his clothing at Baby Gap.
Overton, if someone
wanted to get into the offices
of a major magazine
to, oh, I don't know
rifle through their files,
how would they go about it?
Well, that's the question
that prompts you to
ask more questions.
Like, what type of
alarm do they have?
Infrared or ultrasonic.
Is there roof access?
Can you land a chopper?
W‐w‐wa‐wa‐wait.
You actually asked
him that, right?
Regine, you are
obsessed with this.
Hey, as you should be, pal.
Now, Max said
that she screwed up
a relationship that
could have worked.
Which means that she
is just an emotional wreck
over your breakup.
Hi, people.
Wow. Okay. Oh ho ho.
Oh.
Mmm.
That's good stuff.
Hey, girl, you seen, uh,
this month's issue of, uh.
"Magnifique?"
Yeah, there's a letter in it
from a really pathetic woman
who sabotages relationships.
Interesting, huh?
Maverick.
Not at all, jackass.
Uh, Maverick, you know,
lately I have been wondering
whether the only woman
who ever pulled away from me
regretted it?
I don't know, all I
remember is you pullin' away
after 30 seconds.
Yeah, that's usually
when I open my eyes.
This must stop. Look, Max.
These two little busybodies
think that you wrote
some letter to Dr. Love.
Please, yeah, I wrote a letter
to a‐a magazine I
know you all read.
Well, listen, next month
check out my, uh,
piece in "Highlights."
Uh, trading peanut butter
for baloney, the art of the deal.
Check that out, you two.
She wrote it.
And she know we know.
How she gonna fix her
mouth to lie like that?
Please, the woman
lives and breathes fiction.
You know, girly told me that
she would be my love slave
if I made her pancakes.
After the fourth stack,
she was sound asleep
and I was scrubbing
the grittle in my socks.
Stephanie, from Chicago!
No, Mary, from Liberia.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You're the seventh
stranger I've hugged today.
'All runners for the
second heat, five minutes.'
Hey, that's, that's Stephanie.
‐ Khadijah! Synclaire! ‐ Hi.
What are you guys doing here?
Oh, you must be covering
the meet for your magazine.
Listen, before you take
my picture, let me run
a couple of laps so I
can get my glow on.
No, actually, I'm here
cause daddy called.
Oh, I get it. Don't tell me.
"Keep an eye on my baby, make
sure she doesn't get mixed up
with any of those
New York City pimps."
You know how your father
is when it comes to you.
You're his little Steffipoo.
Uh, huh, well.
I'm not ten and my
mom is in Chicago.
Oh, look, don't waste
that little attitude on me.
I didn't want to come
here in the first place.
Listen, why don't you
come back after dinner
I'm sure, dad asked
you to burp me.
Oh, she's got a mouth like you.
Bigger.
Uh, uh, smaller.
Uh, whatever would
please you, just don't hit me.
A little more to the left.
Stephanie, what're
you doin' here?
A very big thing.
Listen, I thought about it and
I guess I was kind of snotty.
So, yes, I'm apologizing.
You're welcome.
Well, you know how I
hate apologizing too.
So, I'm not even gonna fake it.
No, no, I really am sorry.
Besides, it's daddy's fault,
you know him, always pressing.
"Who's this guy you're dating."
"Don't you pay for your
Visa with your MasterCard."
Now, see, he and my mother
got divorced when I was five.
I didn't have any dates
or credit cards at the time.
You were lucky.
Those finance charges
are worse than homework.
Listen. While you're here, I
might as well give you the tour.
Behold the "Flavor" empire.
This is the reception area.
Where I do all the recepting.
This is our layout
and graphics section.
And this is our Ivan.
Ivan, this is my little
sister, Stephanie.
‐ What's up? Nice
to meet you. ‐ H‐hi.
So tell me more about our Ivan.
Well, he is a sophomore at NYU.
Tsk, he's a copy aid here,
and an occasional migraine.
And he's 1200 miles
away from daddy
so he won't be checking up on
us, you know what I'm saying?
Not really. Chill for a minute.
Um, Ivan. I need
you to do me a favor.
What you need me to do?
Lay an article,
write some headlines
draw you a tepid bath with
pink and white rose petals?
I thought it would
be a good idea
if you and Stephanie
hung out tonight.
Promised my father I'd look
out for her when she was here.
You passing the care of
your little sister onto me?
Well, that's a thrill.
That's an honor.
Well, actually it's a
combination of both.
Like a thronor.
Why don't you just
shut up and ask her out.
Alright.
Uh, Stephanie,
um, I was thinking
you know, if you
weren't busy later‐‐.
Six o'clock, at the guest
quarters on East 53rd.
See you later,
Khadijah. Bye, Synclaire.
Oh, and I will see you
tonight, Ivan, dress is casual.
Well, damn, where am
I supposed to take her?
I don't know, where do you
usually go on Friday nights?
Well, I sit on my bike across
the street from your house.
Hey, Max, you'll be able
to relate to this movie.
It's about a man‐hating
woman who joins a convent.
It's called "Mother
Superior Maverick."
Synclaire, your
hamster got loose again
and rolled around
in your makeup.
I don't believe this.
That was Stephanie's roommate.
The girl missed curfew.
Ugh!
Where the hell have you been?
We went to a party.
♪ Party over here
party over here ♪
Ahh!
♪ Party over there ♪
Stephanie, what the
hell is wrong with you?
Mmm.
Oh.
Oh, the little angel's
tuckered out from dancing.
She's stinkin' drunk.
Ivan, talk. Fast.
Well, uh, we was
at a really crowded
dorm party and we got separated.
Next thing I know, she
was dancing with a hat rack.
Uh, listen, I'm sorry,
Khadijah, I let you down, and..
If you need me I'll
be across the street
performing CPR
on my dying heart.
No, all I did was eat
these little jiggly cubes.
I've a green tongue, see?
Yeah, well, give it
some time, honey.
By tomorrow, the rest
of you'll be green too.
Jelly shots.
Gelatin and green alcohol.
That's how grandma
kept the kids quiet. Uh.
Okay, Stephanie,
you missed curfew
you're drunk..
I mean, what do you
have to say for yourself?
Come on, out with it.
Oh! Damn!
Well, look on the bright side.
She did it on Regine's
favorite slippers.
What's that?
My special elixir for hangovers.
Tomato juice, a
chocolate yoo‐hoo.
And a boiled egg.
Wow, it's got kick.
Oh, honey, drink this.
It'll make you feel better.
‐ Um, what is it? ‐ Apple juice.
Hmm.
Don't get too comfortable.
I called Coach Braxton
and covered for you.
You got warm‐ups at 1 o'clock.
Thanks, but I'm
not running today.
Or ever.
I'm quitting.
Stephanie!
You can't give up your
dream of‐of‐of winning
the Olympic Decathlon.
That's not my dream.
Yeah, well, it's one of mine.
Okay, hold up there.
You've been running
since junior high school.
Now, all of a sudden
you don't feel like it?
No. When I first
started running I loved it.
But then all of a
sudden I started winning.
And then I didn't have a
father, I had a live‐in coach.
Do you know that man built a
track for me in the backyard?
Four hundred and thirty
two times around is a mile.
Poor little Stephanie.
Daddy made her
run and she ended up
gettin' a college scholarship.
You are just like dad.
You think you're always right.
You know, I don't care.
You can't make me run.
See, now that's
where you're wrong.
Now, I promised daddy
I would look out for you
while you are here.
And you're going
to that track meet
if I have to drag you.
The only way that's gonna
happen is if you knock me out.
Huh.
Wait, Khadijah, I'm
going. No, I'm going!
What is wrong with you?
First you wipe up her vomit
then you threaten to kill her.
Y'all are bonding.
Kyle.
What?
Styrofoam peanuts for dinner.
What're we having for
dessert? Bubble wrap?
No, silly, it's a decoy bag.
See, whenever I come home with
groceries, Max always shows up.
So, when she gets here, you
will dredge up enough sincerity
to get her to confess
that she wrote the letter.
Regine, you are a
sick, sick woman.
And I love you for it.
♪ Sunshine ♪
♪ Attorney in love ♪
♪ Guilty innocent ♪
Okay.
Uh, Maxine, Maxine, I got a
serious question to ask you.
Yes, Kyle, I faked
every one of 'em.
Uh, maybe, I ought to
give you two some privacy.
Yeah, that's a
good idea, Regine.
Why don't you come over here.
This bannister might collapse,
I need a little test dummy.
Mmm.
Maxine, look, I know that
our breakup crushed you
and I just want you
know that I'm here for you.
And you can tell me
anything. I mean anything.
Kyle, you're right.
I mean, I guess I should've
come and talked to you
about how I felt
since we broke up.
Pain.
All the pain..
That you two've been in my ass.
I told you, I did not
write that freaking letter.
Man, Kyle, you couldn't
get dirt from a dustbuster.
Oh, hold up, you Minute
Meda, let me tell you something.
I'm goin' back upstairs
and do what I was
supposed to be doin' all along
which is minding
my own business.
Buh‐bye.
See, you lyin'!
I mean, I knew I should've
just hypnotized you
with a canned ham.
Can you believe those clowns?
I hear you.
So, they give you a free
copy of the magazine
when they ran your letter?
No, just a release form
and this coupon for tampons.
No, Khadijah.
There's no way I can run.
Sure you can. Come on, now.
One day you're gonna thank
me for dragging you out here.
'Next up, the
women's 100 meters.'
Oh, that's it. Go get 'em, girl.
‐ Okay. ‐ Come on, now.
'Ready. Set.'
'Push it, Steph, push it.'
I got it.
Oh, damn, I lost it.
Oh, hey there, Stephanie.
I baked you some
victory brownies.
They're in the kitchen
cooling off right now.
And why am I talking
to nobody at all?
What happened?
Well, lets just
say that this time
she made it to the bathroom.
Khadijah, I think it was my
Great Uncle Smoke‐Eye who said.
"When there's
frost on the pumpkin
"and moss in the well..
That's when the squirrels
come out laughing."
Synclaire, you want
to help me out here?
Be good to her, be kind to her.
I don't really get
that squirrels part.
Well, she does seem pretty down.
Maybe, I should go talk to her.
♪ Slide slide slippitty‐slide ♪
♪ Just forget about your
troubles and your nine to five ♪
♪ You just sail along
that's what you do ♪
♪ You just sail along hey ♪
Maybe your mascot
taking a swing on you
was not clear enough.
You lost.
Seriously?
Oh, well.
Ooh, Synclaire, I
think we should, uh
go on upstairs, babe.
‐ No, I want to stay. ‐ No.
No, see, this is like one
of them little family things.
I'm family, maybe you should go.
Oh, now, now, wait,
hold on a minute.
Few minutes ago,
you were drinkin'
from the fountain of my wisdom.
Now, it's like I
don't know diddly?
Would you excuse us
please, Khadijah, Stephanie?
Overton and I have something
to discuss out in the hallway.
Overton, come along.
We'll be right back.
‐ Oh, no, we won't.
‐ Oh, yes, we will.
‐ Mama, we ain't coming
back. ‐ I got something to say.
What you tellin' me, huh? What?
You tellin' me..
Ow!
How can you party like this?
Listen, I may have lost the race
but I won the 100‐yard puke.
I feel liberated.
Alright.
You'll be liberated
from that gold card
when daddy finds
out you got drunk.
You never call dad
and when you finally do
it's to tell on me.
Some big sister you are.
Psst. Don't talk to me
about being a good sister.
I seen you twice in ten years.
The first time I'm
hosing down my wall.
The second time I'm
mopping up my floor.
I don't know what's
gonna happen the next time
but everything is
getting covered in plastic.
Like there's gonna
be a next time.
You don't like having me around.
You're jealous because I grew
up with daddy and you didn't.
Well, maybe I
am a little jealous.
I didn't get a funky little race
track around my backyard.
Shoot, I didn't even
get the big pimp speech.
At least you didn't get the.
"Why can't you be more
like Khadijah?" speech.
What're you talking about?
"Khadijah held down two
jobs while she was in college.
"Khadijah started
her own magazine.
"Khadijah, the mover, the shaker
the proud black
woman on the move."
I could run my whole life.
I'd never catch up to you.
Mover and a shaker, huh?
Dang, maybe I should put
that man's number in speed dial.
You know, you two should talk.
And if you could
come up with a problem
for him to solve
for an hour or so
maybe he'd get off my case.
You don't know what it's like.
He has enough overprotectiveness
for two daughters.
But, I'm the only one there.
Hmm..
And all this time I
thought you were a brat.
But you're really just
a misunderstood girl
who gets too much attention
and everything she wants, huh?
And I thought you were bossy.
But you're just a
regular person who thinks
she's in charge of the world.
Well.
Glad we understand
each other now.
Things should run more smoothly
the next time you come visit.
Next time?
Sure.
Could be nice having someone
around, who idolizes me.
We decided to stay
for the argument.
Don't go away, we
will be right back.
Okay, baby sister.
You got the speed
the youth and the ability.
But I got one thing on my side.
I'm willing to die
to win this race.
‐ Ahh. ‐ Okay, take your marks.
Get set.
Go!
Okay, okay.
How about the shot put?
Pole vault?
Javelin?
Okay, sister toss, sister toss.
Woo‐hoo!