Living Single (1993–1998): Season 3, Episode 19 - Shrink to Fit - full transcript

WHAT'S UP, MAN?

HEY, DUDE.

WHAT'S IN THE BAG?

DEAD MICE.

GET THAT AWAY FROM ME.

I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU.

THOSE THINGS CARRY
DISEASES AND GERMS

AND THEY HAVE BEADY LITTLE EYES.

THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH
YOU WHITE‐COLLAR TYPES.

YOUR PLUSH OFFICES
AND YOUR FANCY E‐MAIL

MAKE YOU SOFT.



START JUMPING AT
YOUR OWN SHADOW.

SYNCLARABELLE'S HERE!

CLOWN!

♪ WE ARE LIVING ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ SINGLE ♪

♪ OOH, IN A '90s KIND OF WORLD ♪

♪ I'M GLAD I GOT MY GIRLS ♪

♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ WHAT? ♪

♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪

♪ WHENEVER THIS
LIFE GETS TOUGH ♪

♪ YOU GOT TO FIGHT WITH ♪

♪ MY HOMEGIRL
STANDING TO MY LEFT ♪

♪ AND MY RIGHT ♪



♪ TRUE BLUE, IT'S
TIGHT LIKE GLUE ♪

♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪

♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪

♪ WE ARE LIVING SINGLE. ♪

Captioning sponsored by FOX
BROADCASTING COMPANY

I GOT IT. WATCH THIS.

ALL RIGHT NOW.

NEXT TIME, TRY THIS

WITH SOME CHICKEN,
MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY.

YEAH, MY TIMING'S OFF.

OBIE'S GOT ME ALL UPSET.

HE SEEMS SCARED OF MY MAKEUP.

WHAT MAKEUP?

HOW DID YOU GET THIS GIG?

I WAS AUDITIONING FOR THE
PART IN DEATH OF A SALESMAN.

DIDN'T GET THE PART

BUT THE DIRECTOR THOUGHT
I'D MAKE A TERRIFIC CLOWN

FOR HIS KID'S MARDI GRAS PARTY.

WELL, HONEY, I'M SURE
YOU'LL MAKE ONE FINE FOOL.

ANYWAY, I JUST CAN'T WAIT

UNTIL KHADIJAH GETS HOME

SO SHE CAN HELP ME
WRITE SOME JOKES.

I HOPE SHE GETS HOME SOON TOO.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE
KICKING IT WITH A CLOWN

AND SYNCLAIRE'S BUSY JUGGLING.

KHADIJAH'S IN A TIZZY

OVER THIS NEW COPYCAT
MAGAZINE, SAVOR.

THE FIRST ISSUE
COMES OUT NEXT WEEK.

CHECK IT OUT, PEOPLE.

THE NEXT ISSUE OF FLAVOR.

WILL CONTAIN A FREE
SCRATCH 'N' SNIFF POSTER

OF LAURENCE
FISHBURNE AS OTHELLO.

THAT'LL GIVE SAVOR.

A KICK IN ITS BIG‐MONEY ASS.

HOW ARE YOU GOING
TO AFFORD THAT?

I'M MOONLIGHTING
AS A SECURITY GUARD

FROM 10:00 AT NIGHT
TO 2:00 IN THE MORNING

STARTING TOMORROW.

THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS.

PLEASE. IT'S AT A
RETIREMENT HOME.

I'LL BE ARMED WITH A
BOTTLE OF ESTROGEN PILLS

AND A TUBE OF DENTURE CREAM.

GREAT.

IF A THUG ATTACKS HER

SHE CAN GLUE HIS MOUTH
SHUT AND GIVE HIM BREASTS.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN...?

CLOWN.

OBIE, WAIT.

OBIE!

COMING TO GET YOU.

OVERTON WHY'D YOU
RUN AWAY FROM ME?

IT'S MY, UM, SECRET SHAME,
MY LITTLE NONDAIRY TOPPING.

EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER

I'VE BEEN UNEASY AROUND CLOWNS.

OH, YOU NEVER TOLD
ME YOU HAD BOZOPHOBIA.

IT'S KIND OF WHY I CALL
IT MY SECRET SHAME.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S HIGH TIME

I GET THIS BRIGHTLY
COLORED MONKEY OFF MY BACK.

BUT FIRST I THINK I'M GOING
TO TAKE A LITTLE STROLL.

WALLS CLOSING IN.

MUST GET AIR.

HEY, REGINE, COME HERE.

GIVE ME A PUSH.

I WAS SOUND ASLEEP

WHEN SUDDENLY I'M AWAKENED

BY THE SOUND OF
SOMEONE'S MIND SNAPPING.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WELL, I WAS GOING OVER
SYNCLAIRE'S KNOCK‐KNOCK JOKES

AND THEN IT HIT ME.

WHAT THIS ROOM NEEDS IS A
MULTIPURPOSE ACTIVITY CIRCLE.

SEE, YOU SIT HERE TO WATCH TV

BUT YOU SLIDE OVER HERE TO WORK

AND EVERY SEAT HAS A
GOOD VIEW OF THE RUG.

KHADIJAH, YOU HAVEN'T
SLEPT A WINK IN WEEKS...

WHAT'S THIS?

A MULTIPURPOSE ACTIVITY CIRCLE.

OH, SNAP.

YOU CAN SEE THE
RUG FROM ANYWHERE.

KHADIJAH, THIS IS MORE
THAN JUST ABOUT FLAVOR.

IT'S ABOUT SCOOTER
FINDING ANOTHER WOMAN

ISN'T IT?

WHAT?

DAMN, SYNCLAIRE, THAT'S
THE LAST TIME I DISH WITH YOU.

I'VE HEARD THAT BEFORE.

YOU'LL BE BACK.

HE'S ALLOWED TO HAVE A LIFE.

HERE ARE YOUR KNOCK‐KNOCK JOKES.

OKAY.

"KNOCK KNOCK.

"WHO'S THERE?

"DIESEL.

"DIESEL WHO?

DIESEL MAKE YOU LAUGH
IF YOU AREN'T TOO SMART."

THAT IS GOOD.

THAT IS GOOD.

KHADIJAH, HONEY...
AS YOUR FRIEND...

I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD ADVICE

FROM SOMEBODY WHO'S BAKING
HER HEAD WHILE SHE SLEEPS.

I WAS TALKING ABOUT
AROMATHERAPY.

THAT'S HOW I STAY SO CENTERED.

UNGRATEFUL.

"KNOCK KNOCK.

"WHO'S THERE?

"LITTLE OLD LADY.

"LITTLE OLD LADY WHO?

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD YODEL."

MAYBE SHE SHOULD STAY WOUND UP.

THIS STUFF IS MONSTER.

♪ YUM YUM YUM, MAKE
YOU FEEL BETTER ♪

♪ YUM YUM YUM, MAKE
YOU FEEL BETTER. ♪

OVERTON, I HAVE THE SOLUTION

TO YOUR CLOWN PHOBIA.

ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS INTRODUCE YOU

TO CLOWN‐RELATED
ITEMS ONE AT A TIME

AND YOU SHOULD BE DESENSITIZED.

ALL RIGHTY THEN.

HERE WE GO.

HOLD ON. HOLD ON.

OH, ARE YOU OKAY?

JUST DON'T SQUEAK IT.

I HOPE THAT'S KHADIJAH.

SHE WAS OUT ALL NIGHT.

I'VE BEEN ALL OVER
BROOKLYN TEARING DOWN

THESE SAVOR ADS.

AND LOOK AT THIS.

TWO COPS AND A BUS DRIVER
CHASED ME FOR SIX BLOCKS FOR THIS

BUT I SHOOK 'EM.

YOU KNOW WHAT I SAW?

I JUST SAW SOME CRAZY NUT CASE

DRAGGING A BIG
BUS AD DOWN THE...

CLOWN.

GIVE ME THAT.

GIVE ME THAT.

GIVE ME THAT.

KHADIJAH, SIT DOWN, BABY.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?

WELL, WHAT'S NOT GOING ON?

SOME BIG CORPORATION

IS TRYING TO RUN
ME OUT OF BUSINESS

WITH MY OWN IDEA.

I'M HOLDING DOWN TWO JOBS
AND PAYING OFF FIVE LOANS.

AND DAMN IT IF MY
SHINSPLINTS AIN'T ACTING UP

FROM DUCKING THE COPS.

KHADIJAH, YOU CAN HANDLE THIS.

THAT'S TRUE. YOU ALWAYS DO.

KHADIJAH, WHEN TIMES ARE
TOUGH AND I'M FEELING BLUE

THREE WORDS OF
WISDOM, "WOO WOO WOO."

IT'S A SAD DAY

WHEN SYNCLAIRE HAS
THE DEEPEST THING TO SAY.

I'M THE DEEPEST.

HI, MA?

OH, I'M FINE.

BUT EVERYBODY AROUND
HERE IS ACTING LIKE I'M LOSING IT

JUST BECAUSE I SURFED DOWN
THE SUBWAY STEPS ON A BUS AD

AND HID BEHIND THIS
BLIND CONGO PLAYER

TILL THE HEAT WAS OFF.

I'VE BEEN UNDER A LOT
OF PRESSURE LATELY, MA.

PAY WHO A VISIT?

A WHAT?

KHADIJAH?

THAT'S ME.

HI. I'M JESSICA BRYCE.

READY?

ALL RIGHT.

STRAP ME DOWN

AND CLAMP ON THOSE ELECTRODES.

I WAS HOPING

WE COULD JUST CHAT A LITTLE BIT

BUT IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE INTO

I'LL CRANK UP THE GENERATOR.

LET'S GET STARTED.

OH, DAMN, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

COME ON.

SO, KHADIJAH WHAT
BRINGS YOU HERE?

MY MOTHER.

MADE ME PROMISE I WOULD COME.

BUT YOU REALLY
DIDN'T FEEL LIKE COMING.

LOOK, NO OFFENSE, DOC

BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT
PSYCHOTHERAPY

WAS FOR BOURGIE PEOPLE
WITH MONEY TO BURN.

I MEAN, IF I HAVE A PROBLEM

I USUALLY JUST GO TO
CHURCH, GET ME SOME JESUS

AND I'M COOL.

THAT IS A POPULAR CHOICE

BUT GOD MUST HAVE MADE
THERAPISTS FOR A REASON.

WELL, YEAH, BUT SEE, I'M THE ONE

WHO HELPS PEOPLE
WITH THEIR PROBLEMS.

MAYBE I SHOULD TRY
TALKING TO MYSELF.

ALWAYS WORKS FOR SYNCLAIRE.

SYNCLAIRE?

MY COUSIN.

NOW THAT'S SOMEBODY WHO
COULD USE SOME COUCH TIME.

OR MY ROOMMATE, REGINE.

GIRL, SHE'S STILL
WAITING TO EXHALE.

OR MAX, THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND...

KHADIJAH, EXCUSE ME.

MAY I MAKE A SUGGESTION?

WHY DON'T WE SPEND YOUR
DIME TALKING ABOUT YOU?

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

LET'S TALK ABOUT ME.

GO AHEAD.

OKAY, GIVE ME, UM... A
TYPICAL KHADIJAH DAY

LIKE YESTERDAY.

OH, OKAY. WELL, LET'S SEE.

I USUALLY GET UP ABOUT
5:30 IN THE MORNING

BUT I GOT HOME LATE
FROM MY SECOND JOB

SO I LOUNGED AROUND
IN BED FOR ABOUT...

MMM... FIVE MINUTES.

A LITTLE "YOU" TIME.

RIGHT. SO THEN I
WENT TO MY OFFICE.

I DID ALL THE EDITING.

I GOT SYNCLAIRE'S BRAIDS
OUT THE FAX MACHINE.

WENT HOME, LISTENED TO
MAX WHINE ABOUT HER JOB

LISTENED TO REGINE
BRAG ABOUT HERS

WENT TO THE RETIREMENT HOME

BACK TO MY HOUSE FOR
A CHANGE OF DRAWERS

AND THAT'S IT.

YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED.

NOT AT ALL.

WORKING GIVES ME ENERGY.

SO EVERYTHING'S COOL.

MAD COOL.

EXCEPT THAT THIS BIG MAGAZINE

IS COMING OUT TODAY

AND THEY TRYING TO
RUN ME OUT OF BUSINESS.

AND MY EX‐FIANCE IS...

WELL, HE'S SEEING SOMEBODY ELSE.

BUT I CAN HANDLE THAT.

SO... I CAN TELL MY
MOM I'M OKAY, RIGHT?

JUMP IN ANY TIME, DOC.

FRANKLY, I DO SEE
SIGNS OF ANXIETY.

BUT WHAT I'M REALLY
CONCERNED ABOUT IS DEPRESSION.

DEPRESSION?

NOW, THAT'S WHEN YOU SIT AROUND
ALL DAY EATING COOKIE DOUGH

AND CRYING AT UNITED NEGRO
COLLEGE FUND COMMERCIALS.

NO, THAT'S NOT ME.

THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND

OF DEPRESSION, KHADIJAH.

BIPOLAR DEPRESSION CAN BE THE
OPPOSITE FROM WHAT YOU'D EXPECT.

YOU'RE ON A HIGH.

YOU CAN'T SLEEP.

YOU HAVE MOOD SWINGS

AND, EVENTUALLY, YOU CRASH.

WHATEVER.

LOOK, THE POINT IS

I HAVE MY PROBLEMS
UNDER CONTROL.

OKAY?

WHAT DO I HAVE TO
BE DEPRESSED ABOUT?

I'M NOT DEPRESSED.

I'M HAPPY.

I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON I KNOW.

WHAT IS THIS?

I HAVEN'T CRIED SINCE
MUFASA DIED IN LION KING.

DAMN THOSE HYENAS!

I THINK THIS IS ABOUT
SOMETHING ELSE.

LOOK, IT'S COOL, DOC, OKAY?

I GOT EVERYTHING UNDER
CONTROL, ALL RIGHT?

I THINK I'M GOING TO BE

GETTING BACK TO WORK NOW.

LISTEN, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
TELL ANYBODY I WAS CRYING, RIGHT?

YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME.

KHADIJAH OKAY.

YOUR HAIR'S CROOKED.

PERFECT.

SO, HOW WAS "LUNCH"?

FINE. WHY?

DO WE FEEL BETTER
NOW THAT WE'VE "EATEN"?

SYNCLAIRE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THE "HELL" YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

I STUMBLED ONTO DR. BRYCE'S CARD
IN THE BACK OF YOUR DESK DRAWER

IN AN ENVELOPE
UNDER SOME PAPERS.

MAYBE YOU WANTED
SOMEBODY TO FIND IT.

AND YOU TOLD EVERYONE?

I ANNOUNCED TO EVERYONE

THAT YOU ARE UNDER
A PSYCHIATRIST'S CARE

AND NO ONE WAS TO TREAT YOU

AS IF ANYTHING WAS
TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY WRONG.

EVERYBODY IS TREATING
ME LIKE I'M A MENTAL PATIENT.

YOU ARE A MENTAL PATIENT.

GOD...

YOU SHOULD'VE COME TO ME.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

ANXIETY?

LOW SELF‐ESTEEM?

OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS
OF RANDOM ARSON?

I'VE BEEN THERE, GIRL.

OH, KHADIJAH, WHEN I FIRST HEARD

THAT YOU WERE SEEING A THERAPIST

WELL, I WAS GOING
TO DENY KNOWING YOU.

BUT I JUST READ

IN ESSENCE THAT
PSYCHOTHERAPY IS IN.

MMM. IT'S A SHAME I
DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS.

LISTEN TO Y'ALL YAMMERING
ABOUT SOMETHING

WHEN YOU KNOW NOTHING!

HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN TO A THERAPIST?!

PLEASE.

I'VE GOT THIS OUTFIT, GIRL.

I AM TRENDY ENOUGH.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

WHEN I WAS AT EVANS AND BELL

THEY MADE EVERY ATTORNEY
SPEND AN HOUR WITH THIS GUY

WHO CALLED HIMSELF A
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST.

YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT.

BECAUSE THE MAN SAID
NOTHING WORTH REPEATING.

OH, SURE, HE WENT ON AND ON

ABOUT HOW I HAD
INAPPROPRIATE HOSTILITY

AND DIFFICULTY DEALING WITH
MEN AND THAT I WAS IN DENIAL.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
SUCH CRAP IN YOUR LIFE?

WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?

HELPING OBIE GET OVER HIS PHOBIA

BY ASSOCIATING A GOOD
EXPERIENCE WITH A BAD ONE.

CLOWN!

IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.

OVERTON, IF YOU
DON'T LIKE CLOWNS

WHY ARE YOU HANGING WITH KYLE?

MAXINE, I AM TRYING
TO HELP A PERSON.

YOU REMEMBER PEOPLE.

THEY'RE THE ONES
WITH THE TORCHES

WHO CHASED YOU
OUT OF THE CASTLE.

ALL RIGHTY, THEN LET US BEGIN.

TOO MUCH DATA.

OVERTON, WHERE DID THIS
STUPID FEAR COME FROM?

HOW'D IT GET STARTED?

ALL GOES BACK TO WHEN I
WAS JUST A LITTLE SHAVER

AND MA TOOK KYLE AND I

TO THE DING‐A‐DONG
CIRCUS IN ASHTUBULA.

AND A FIRE FIGHTER CLOWN

ASKED ME TO RIDE ON
THE TINY HOOK AND LADDER.

Kyle: AND, UM...
EVERYTHING WAS COOL

UNTIL IT SPUN OUT OF CONTROL

AND HE WENT FLYING HEADFIRST

INTO THE BACK END OF
LARGE THE ELEPHANT.

LITERALLY SCARED THE
SH‐TRAW OUT OF THE POOR BEAST.

DAMN NEAR BURIED ALIVE.

AND ALTHOUGH I COULD BREATHE

LORD KNOWS I WISHED I COULDN'T.

BUT THE IMAGE THAT'S
FOREVER BURNED INTO MY BRAIN

IS THE LOOKS ON THE
FACES OF THE 37 CLOWNS

TRYING TO DIG ME OUT WITH
THEIR TINY LITTLE SHOVELS

JUST DIGGING, DIGGING.

MAMA, COME HOLD ME.

YES, BABY, YES, BABY.

OH, HUSH NOW.

HELLO, ENCHANTRESS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

STILL POUTY?

KHADIJAH, CAME RIGHT OVER

WITH THE PREMIER ISSUE OF SAVOR.

YOU OWE ME 3.50.

WHO'S COOLER?"

SNOOP DOGGY DOGG
AND BETTE MIDLER"?

THIS IS WEAK!

LISTEN HERE WHAT IT
SAYS IN MEDIA DAILY.

"SAVOR IS ABOUT AS FRESH

"AS A GAS STATION REST ROOM."

"INSTEAD, READERS
SHOULD LOOK TO FLAVOR."

"THE LEADING‐EDGE
MAGAZINE SAVOR TRIES TO BE."

DAH!

HOORAY!

HOORAY!

COME NOW!

SHIMMY WITH HAPPINESS.

KHADIJAH, COME IN.

I DON'T HAVE AN
APPOINTMENT OR ANYTHING.

OH, THAT'S OKAY.

I HAVE TIME.

MY PROCRASTINATION WORKSHOP
USUALLY STARTS A LITTLE LATE.

WELL, I JUST CAME
BY TO APOLOGIZE.

I WAS KINDA BUGGIN'
WHEN I WAS HERE BEFORE

AND I JUST WANT YOU TO
KNOW I'M FEELING A LOT BETTER.

I JUST DON'T GET IT.

I MEAN, EVERYTHING
IS COOL AT WORK.

I SHOULD BE FEELING
MUCH BETTER, BUT I'M NOT.

I'M GLAD.

SURE, YOU GLAD.

THAT'S HOW YOU
GET REPEAT BUSINESS.

NO. IT'S A SIGN

THAT THE DEFENSES YOU
WORKED SO HARD TO BUILD UP

ARE FINALLY CRUMBLING.

YOU MIGHT BE LOSING
SOME COOL POINTS

BUT YOU'RE GETTING TO THE REAL.

I BEEN THINKING ABOUT
HOW MUCH I'VE GIVEN UP

TO FOCUS ON THIS MAGAZINE‐‐

TIME AWAY FROM MY
FAMILY AND FRIENDS

AND A FEW FINE MEN.

GIRL, I MEAN REAL FINE.

AND LATELY

I HAVEN'T EVEN ENJOYED
WORKING ON FLAVOR.

YOU'RE AN AMAZING
PERSON, KHADIJAH.

I MEAN, YOU
PERSEVERE, YOU ACHIEVE

YOU TAKE CARE OF SO MANY PEOPLE

BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY

YOU STOPPED TAKING
CARE OF YOURSELF.

WELL, I GUESS IT WOULD
BE KIND OF INTERESTING

TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT
THAT FROM TIME TO TIME.

THE STATE MEDICAL BOARD
SAID I'M ALLOWED TO DO THAT.

DAMN, MY FRIENDS ARE GOING
TO WEAR ME OUT OVER THIS ONE.

I KNOW.

PSYCHOTHERAPY DOESN'T GET
MUCH RESPECT IN OUR COMMUNITY.

MY FATHER KEEPS ASKING ME

WHY DIDN'T I PICK
SOMETHING MORE REAL

LIKE PLASTIC SURGERY.

BUT THEN, THAT'S AN ISSUE
FOR ME AND MY THERAPIST.

YOU KNOW, DOC, I HEARD SOMETIMES

YOU PEOPLE CHARGE
ON A SLIDING SCALE.

ANY CHANCE THAT,
UH... FOR A SISTER

THAT SCALE MIGHT SLIDE
ALL THE WAY DOWN TO FREE?

NO, SISTER.

BUT I'M SURE

WE CAN WORK SOMETHING
OUT WHEN YOU GET BACK.

I'M PRESCRIBING A
ONE‐WEEK VACATION FOR YOU.

NO WORK, NO FRIENDS

AND DID I MENTION NO WORK?

WELL, WHAT THE HELL

AM I GOING TO DO ON A VACATION?

NOTHING.

SCARY, ISN'T IT?

I HATE VACATIONS.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO
PRESCRIBE SOMETHING ELSE.

OKAY, I'LL START YOU ON PROZAC.

THAT'LL STABILIZE YOUR MOOD

BUT THERE MAY BE
SOME SIDE EFFECTS

LIKE HEADACHES,
LACK OF SEX DRIVE...

PACKING!

I'M PACKING.

I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I COME BACK.

LIVING SINGLE
WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

OVERTON, TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE.

CLOWN.

CLOWN.

THAT LOOKS LIKE TWO
BUTTERFLIES KISSING IN A CARWASH.

AND FOR SOME WACKY REASON

ONE OF THEM IS
WEARING A SOMBRERO.

DO YOU HAVE YOUR APPOINTMENT
BOOK WITH YOU, OVERTON?