Living Single (1993–1998): Season 3, Episode 17 - Wake Up to the Break-Up - full transcript
SYNCLAIRE, I LOVE
THE WAY THE SUNLIGHT
MAKES YOUR FACE GLOW.
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, BE MY BRIDE.
OH, I'M FLATTERED, BUT NO.
AND IT'S ACTUALLY
"COMBINATION SKIN."
AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' TO
DO WITH THE SUN, DADDY.
KHADIJAH, I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST
FOR A LONG TIME‐‐ I
CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
BIG‐BONED GIRL, MARRY ME!
GET UP, JERK CHICKEN.
YOU KNOW NOBODY
PROPOSES TO KHADIJAH
BUT ME AROUND HERE.
HEY, SAVE YOUR THREATS UNTIL
YOUR VOICE CHANGES, BO‐BO BOY.
IVAN, GO GROW SOME FACIAL HAIR.
RUSSELL, YOU JUST GROW.
NOW, LET ME GUESS.
DOES THIS PROPOSAL
HAVE SOMETHING TO DO
WITH YOUR LITTLE
IMMIGRATION PROBLEM?
WELL, YES.
MY WORK VISA HAS EXPIRED
AND I'M IN DANGER
OF BEING DEPORTED.
THEY SENT THE RENEWAL
FORM TO MY OLD ADDRESS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SEND
OUT CHANGE OF ADDRESS CARDS?
THEN I'D GET ALL
THOSE DAMN BILLS.
LOOK, KHADIJAH, IF I DON'T
FIND SOMEONE TO MARRY
IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS
I'LL BE SHIPPED
BACK TO KINGSTON.
COULD YOU MENTION ME
TO YOUR BUSTY, POUTY
ROOMMATE REGINE?
TRUST ME, YOU'D
RATHER BE DEPORTED.
♪ WE ARE LIVING ♪
♪ HEY ♪
♪ SINGLE ♪
♪ OOH, IN A '90s KIND OF WORLD ♪
♪ I'M GLAD I GOT MY GIRLS ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ WHAT? ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ WHENEVER THIS
LIFE GETS TOUGH ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO FIGHT WITH ♪
♪ MY HOMEGIRL
STANDING TO MY LEFT ♪
♪ AND MY RIGHT ♪
♪ TRUE BLUE, IT'S
TIGHT LIKE GLUE ♪
♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ WE ARE LIVING SINGLE. ♪
Captioning sponsored by FOX
BROADCASTING COMPANY
OOH, MICHELLE, YOU
ALMOST HAD THE PICTURE.
NOW J. J. AND WILLONA
ARE ALL SQUIGGLY.
YEAH, BUT FLORIDA
NEVER LOOKED BETTER.
HOW ABOUT... NOW?
PERFECT!
OH! OH! WE'VE BEEN WATCHING
SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL ALL ALONG.
SORRY YOU HAD TO COME
OUT FOUR TIMES THIS MONTH.
OH, NO PROBLEM.
I LIKE THE TENANTS HERE.
WELL, FEEL FREE TO
TAKE THEM WITH YOU.
YOU KNOW, KYLE,
IT'S NOT EVERY DAY
I MEET SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HIS
WAY AROUND A PAIR OF WIRE CUTTERS
AND HAS A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR.
WELL, PEOPLE DO
SAY I HAVE A DRY WIT.
LIKE A FREAKIN' DESERT.
I'M GOING TO THE
GUGGENHEIM TOMORROW.
IT'S THE LAST DAY OF THE
CLAES OLDENBURG EXHIBIT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME WITH?
UM... AS MUCH AS I AM INSPIRED
BY HIS GIANT NAUGAHYDE BURGERS
I'M SORRY, I MUST DECLINE.
IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND...
GIVE ME A CALL.
HEY, BROTHER
SHE WAS SETTING IT
OUT, WASN'T SHE, SHORTY?
SHE DID EVERYTHING
BUT STRIP NAKED
AND DO THE HOOCHIE‐MAMA DANCE.
AND KYLE DID EVERYTHING
BUT OPEN HIS SHIRT
AND SHOW HER HIS ONE CHEST HAIR.
COME ON, MAX.
ALL I DID WAS HAND
THE LADY A FEW TOOLS
AND LET MY NATURAL
CHARM SHINE THROUGH.
KYLE, SAVE YOUR BREATH.
YOU CAN FLIRT WITH HER
YOU CAN CALL HER, YOU
CAN GO OUT WITH HER‐‐
I DON'T CARE.
WAIT. I'M TRYING TO HAVE
A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU
AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO
GO OUT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.
WHAT ARE YOU NOW, MY PIMP?
I'M CERTAINLY NOT YOUR WARDEN.
YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
MAXINE, DO NOT PLAY GAMES
WITH ME, BECAUSE I WILL GO.
I'M NOT PLAYING ANY GAMES.
I REALLY DON'T CARE.
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
HEY, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
PRETTY TONY OVER THERE
JUST SENT ME ON A RUN.
BOSS LADY, I KNOW
YOU'LL BE CRUSHED
BUT I'M WITHDRAWING
MY MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.
I UNDERSTAND.
NO WOMAN, NO CRY, HUH?
I DO, HOWEVER, HAVE
ANOTHER PROPOSAL.
DOES IT INVOLVE PAYING
BACK THE $20 YOU OWE ME?
PLEASE. THIS IS
NO TIME FOR JOKES.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
TELL AN IMMIGRATION AGENT
THAT I'M ESSENTIAL TO FLAVOR.
AND THERE'S NO AMERICAN
WHO CAN REPLACE ME.
SO YOU WANT ME TO LIE.
JUST EMBELLISH THE TRUTH
UNTIL IT MEANS SOMETHING
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
IT'S THE AMERICAN WAY.
I DON'T KNOW, RUSSELL.
PLEASE, KHADIJAH.
I WORK VERY HARD FOR YOU.
DON'T SEND ME BACK TO JAMAICA.
IT'S TOO DAMN HOT!
WELL, YOU ARE A
GOOD MUSIC EDITOR...
AND YOU DO GET ME
ALL THAT FREE INCENSE.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.
GOOD, BECAUSE THE
IMMIGRATION AGENT IS HERE.
WELL, WHAT IF I WERE TO SAY NO?
THEN THIS WOULD BE A
VERY AWKWARD MEETING.
MR. MONTEGO, I'M AGENT
TANAKA FROM THE I. N. S.
AGENT TANAKA, THIS
IS KHADIJAH JAMES
MY PROUD SPONSOR.
GO AHEAD, MS. JAMES.
TELL AGENT TANAKA
HOW ESSENTIAL I AM.
OH, YEAH.
BOY, ESSENTIAL.
ESSENTIAL...
IRREPLACEABLE RUSSELL.
CONVINCING ARGUMENT.
BUT REGULATIONS DICTATE
I OBSERVE MR. MONTEGO
IN THE WORKPLACE.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO CUT THIS PARTY SHORT.
WE'RE RAIDING A
SYNTHETIC HAIR SWEATSHOP
ON THE LOWER EAST SIDE.
WE'LL CONTINUE THIS
TOMORROW MORNING AT 8:30.
RUSSELL, THIS
COULD BE A PROBLEM.
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
MY COUSIN MANAGES
THAT SWEATSHOP.
DEEBA? THEY'RE COMING, MAN.
HEY, YOU GUYS, CANCEL YOUR
PLANS FOR SATURDAY NIGHT.
WE ARE GOING TO
SEE BRIAN McKNIGHT.
COURTESY OF MOI.
Khadijah: THAT SHOW'S BEEN.
SOLD OUT FOR WEEKS.
HOW'D YOU GET TICKETS?
I GOT THE TICKETS FROM NATHAN
WHO PLAYS THE CONNIVING
PROCTOLOGIST ON THE SOAP.
HE EVEN GAVE ME AN
EXTRA TICKET TO SCALP.
WHY BOTHER SCALPING IT?
I'M SURE MAX HAS ANOTHER WOMAN
SHE WANTS TO FORCE
KYLE TO GO OUT WITH.
OH, YES! TONIGHT IS KYLE'S DATE
WITH THE CABLE LADY.
SO WHAT DID YOU THINK, MAX?
SHE GOING TO GIVE BROTHER
SOME FREE "SHOWTIME"?
YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU
TO UNDERSTAND THE COMPLEXITIES
OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH KYLE.
LET HIM TASTE THE
FORBIDDEN FRUIT.
THEN HE'LL SEE HOW
SWEET IT IS AT HOME.
YEAH, BUT IF I KNOW KYLE
FORBIDDEN'S HIS FAVORITE FLAVOR.
MAX, LET'S KEEP IT REAL.
WE BOTH KNOW YOU
DIDN'T WANT KYLE
TO GO OUT WITH THAT WOMAN.
YOU TRIED TO PLAY IT ALL COOL
AND GOT YOUR FACE CRACKED.
YEAH! WHAT IF MICHELLE
AND KYLE HIT IT OFF?
PLEASE. ONCE YOU GO
MAX, YOU NEVER GO BACK.
YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL
ME YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN?
I COULDN'T BE LESS PRESSED.
KYLE'S HOME.
OH, HEY, KYLE!
YOU'RE LOOKING... YOU'RE
LOOKING SHARP THERE.
OH, YEAH!
YOU HAD YOUR LITTLE DATE
WITH YOUR LITTLE FRIEND.
UH‐HUH.
HOW'D IT GO?
WELL, IT TURNS OUT SHE'S NOT
AS INSIGHTFUL AS I HAD HOPED.
SHE SPENT AN HOUR
LOOKING AT THE WALL
THINKING IT WAS AN
ABSTRACT PAINTING.
OH... SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS?
WHAT ARE YOU, "BUDDIES" OR...?
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
BUT I WILL SAY IT WAS
REFRESHING BEING WITH SOMEONE
WHO WASN'T AFRAID TO TELL ME
THAT SHE ENJOYED MY COMPANY.
SHE ENJOYED A BLANK WALL, KYLE‐‐
HOW GOOD CAN YOU FEEL?
IT WAS ALSO REFRESHING
BEING WITH SOMEONE
WHO DIDN'T CONSTANTLY
TAKE POTSHOTS AT ME.
WELL, GIVE HER TIME.
TO KNOW YOU IS TO DIS YOU.
YOU KNOW, WOMAN, YOU...
YOU MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE
TO TALK TO YOU.
EVERYTHING IS A TUG‐OF‐WAR.
KYLE, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I WANT A WOMAN
WHO IS AFFECTIONATE.
I WANT A WOMAN WHO HAS A
PICTURE OF ME IN HER APARTMENT.
I WANT A WOMAN
WHO DOES NOT SEND ME OUT
ON DATES WITH OTHER WOMEN.
I DO HAVE PICTURES OF YOU.
THEY MAKE WONDERFUL COASTERS.
YOU KNOW...
YOU HAVE NEVER TAKEN ME OR
THIS RELATIONSHIP SERIOUSLY.
OH, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
GET OFF OF IT, KYLE.
YOU DON'T WANT A GIRLFRIEND
YOU WANT A PSYCHIATRIST
WHO'S GOOD IN BED.
"LISTEN TO MY PROBLEMS."
"LISTEN TO MY PROB‐LEMS..."
WELL, HEY, LOOK, IF I
DON'T MAKE YOU HAPPY
THEN WHY ARE YOU WITH ME?
GOOD POINT.
SO WHY DON'T WE JUST SAY
I AM NO LONGER WITH YOU?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WE'RE THROUGH. IT'S OVER.
DON'T WANT YOU. BYE‐BYE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY BROKE UP.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY
WERE EVER TOGETHER.
THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED
IF THEY HAD TO FOLLOW
MY LOVE AGENDA.
THREE MONTHS TO HOLD
HANDS, SIX MONTHS FOR A HUG
A YEAR FOR A KISS.
HEY, BY THE TURN OF THE CENTURY
THEY'D HAVE BEEN
JUMPING THE BROOM.
NOW, HOW COULD
THEY JUMP THE BROOM
IF SHE'S ALWAYS RIDING IT?
YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT TO
GET THEM BACK TOGETHER.
I FEEL LIKE THIS IS MY FAULT.
WHY?
I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVE A GENERAL GUILT
ABOUT THINGS, YOU KNOW.
OH. GOOD, OVERTON,
YOU'RE STILL HERE.
LOOK, I'VE BROUGHT BACK
KYLE'S PRECIOUS
FRAGILE BELONGINGS.
AW, DANG, GIRL, THAT'S MY
CLEVELAND BROWNS MUG
AND IT'S BROKEN.
WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
THEY'RE LEAVING
CLEVELAND ANYWAY.
GIRL, YOU OKAY?
YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT, BUT HIM...
LOOK.
CHECK THIS OUT.
KYLE WAS TOO
HIGH‐MAINTENANCE ANYWAY.
I MEAN, ALWAYS
TRYING TO GET CLOSE.
YEAH, WE ALL KNOW
HOW MUCH YOU HATE THAT.
EXACTLY.
I MEAN, I HAD TO SEE HIM.
I HAD TO TALK TO HIM.
IT'S LIKE HAVING A
DAMN SECOND JOB.
HEY, IS...?
LOOK, LOOK.
KYLE'S HERE. KYLE'S HERE.
AND LOOK. MAXINE IS HERE.
REUNITED. DOESN'T
IT FEEL SO GOOD?
SWAY WITH ME.
I'LL JUST GO.
LOOK.
HERE'S YOUR STUFF.
AND JUST MAKE
SURE THAT I GET BACK
EVERY SINGLE ITEM
I EVER LEFT IN YOUR APARTMENT.
CERTAINLY.
I'LL FED‐EX YOUR TOOTHBRUSH.
WHAT ABOUT MY TOOTHPASTE?
IT HARDENED AND BROKE.
"HARDENED AND BROKE."
I DON'T BUY THAT, MAN.
HE BETTER FIND MY TOOTHPASTE.
THANKS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
THAT WAS SECURITY.
AGENT TANAKA'S ON HER WAY UP.
PLACES, EVERYBODY!
PERFECT!
NICE PICTURE OF YOU.
OH. THAT OLD THING.
IT'S NOT CONSTANTLY
WINNING THAT EMBARRASSES ME.
IT'S WHEN THEY CARRY ME
AROUND ON THEIR SHOULDERS.
IT'S LIKE HOISTING A
LITTLE JAMAICAN ANGEL.
RUSSELL, DO YOU HAVE THE
LATEST RECORD REVIEWS?
KHADIJAH, THEY'RE
CALLED CDs NOW.
MY FRIEND, YOU ARE
TRULY INDISPENSABLE.
ALL RIGHT, BOSS, I'M READY
FOR MY NEXT ASSIGNMENT.
OH, GOOD.
I NEED YOU TO RUN TO MANHATTAN
AND PICK UP SOME
PHOTOS AT THIS ADDRESS.
OH, NO PROBLEM.
ONLY... I WISH I KNEW
HOW TO GET THERE.
MY FRIEND, TAKE THE
TWO TRAIN TO BROADWAY
THEN CATCH THE
FOUR GOING UPTOWN.
GET OFF ON BLEECKER
AND GO TWO BLOCKS NORTH.
OR YOU COULD TAKE THE
FOUR STRAIGHT TO BROADWAY.
THAT'S A LOT QUICKER.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
OH, BUT RUSSELL PROPOSES
A MORE SCENIC ROUTE
THAT'S SURE TO LIFT MY SPIRITS.
THANKS, RUSSELL.
YOU'RE THE MAN.
I DON'T NEED TO SEE ANY MORE.
THEN I CAN STAY?
UNTIL YOUR PLANE LEAVES.
I'VE ENJOYED YOUR LITTLE SKETCH
BUT THERE'S NO REASON
FOR YOUR CO‐WORKERS TO
EMBARRASS THEMSELVES ANY FURTHER.
YOU WILL BE RECEIVING AN
OFFICIAL DEPORTATION NOTICE
WITHIN THE NEXT 24 HOURS.
BUT, BUT, UH...
I‐I‐IF RUSSELL LEAVES, HOW
WOULD WE EVER PUT OUT
THE PATOIS EDITION OF FLAVOR?
PATOIS EDITION?
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
KHADIJAH IS EXPANDING
OUR MARKET BASE
BY DISTRIBUTING FLAVOR
IN THE WEST INDIES.
RIGHT, KHADIJAH?
RIGHT.
I'M EXPANDING OUR MARKET BASE
BY DISTRIBUTING FLAVOR
IN THE WEST INDIES.
A MAGAZINE IN PATOIS?
IT'S THE LANGUAGE OF JAMAICA.
ME LOOK 'PON YOU, WOMAN,
AND ME LIKE HOW YOU STAY.
GAL, COME HOME BY ME.
I COOK YOU UP SOME
ACKEE AND SALT FISH.
THEN WE CAN YAM IT DOWN.
RUSSELL
ARE YOU TALKING
DIRTY TO AGENT TANAKA?
NOT REALLY.
LOOSELY TRANSLATED
HE THINKS I GOT IT GOIN' ON.
MY EX‐BOYFRIEND WAS JAMAICAN.
SOMETIMES I WISH I
HADN'T DEPORTED HIM.
SO, YOU DO HAVE A HEART.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WELL, IT APPEARS
THAT MR. MONTEGO'S
CONTRIBUTION TO FLAVOR.
IS INDEED INDISPENSABLE.
YES!
I'LL PROCESS YOUR PAPERWORK
AS SOON AS I GET
THAT PATOIS EDITION.
♪ HOORAY! ♪
♪ WE SAVED RUSSELL,
WE SAVED RUSSELL ♪
♪ COME NOW. ♪
OH, YES!
WEREN'T YOU LISTENING?
OF COURSE. I'M JUST
IGNORING THE FACT
THAT WE CAN'T ACTUALLY
AFFORD A PATOIS EDITION.
WE DON'T HAVE TO.
I'LL GET MY COUSIN RIGHT ON IT.
THE ONE WHO RUNS THE SWEATSHOP?
NOT ANYMORE.
THANKS TO AGENT TANAKA
HE'S RUNNING A
PRISON PRINT SHOP.
Regine: COME ON, MAX, MOVE.
Max: SORRY. SORRY.
YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THERE?
Synclaire: YEAH.
HE HAS MY TICKET.
Max: THAT'S MY SEAT.
ALL RIGHT. FORGET IT.
OH, MY GOD.
E‐E‐EXCUSE ME, BUT WOULD
ONE OF YOU MIND
SWITCHING SEATS WITH ME?
HELL NO. MM‐MMM.
MOVE IT OR LOSE IT.
MY ELBOW WAS HERE FIRST.
IF MY ELBOW DOESN'T GO THERE
IT'LL DEFINITELY GO
SOMEPLACE YOU WON'T ENJOY.
HEY. YOU'RE THE SCALPER
WHO SOLD ME MY TICKET.
WOW. WE CAN
ALMOST SEE THE STAGE.
I'M THE BIGGEST
BRIAN McKNIGHT FAN.
ON THE PLANET!
STOP TOUCHING ME.
IF YOU WOULD SIT LIKE A
LADY, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO.
DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE.
I BELIEVE IT'S BEAUTIFUL
THAT THE TWO OF YOU
ARE TALKING AGAIN.
GET THE HELL OFF! SHUT UP!
Announcer: Ladies and
gentlemen, Brian McKnight!
♪ WHOO‐HOO ♪
♪ AHH‐OH. ♪
IT'S BRIAN, GIRL!
IT'S BRIAN!
WELL, GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE
AND WELCOME TO A NIGHT OF LOVE.
All: WHOO!
TURN UP THE HEAT, BABY.
NOW, I WANT TO TELL
ALL THE MEN OUT THERE
THAT A GOOD WOMAN
IS HARD TO FIND.
Max: THANK YOU.
BUT YOU CAN FIND AN EVIL
ONE LURKING IN ANY ALLEY.
KYLE, IF YOU WANT TO INSULT ME
JUST REMIND ME I USED
TO SLEEP WITH YOU!
THAT'S NOTHING
COMPARED TO THE HORROR
OF WAKING UP WITH YOU.
SHH.
WATCH THE SHOW.
McKnight: I'M NOT
FEELING THE LOVE.
FROM THAT COUPLE
IN THE CHEAP SEATS.
OKAY, GREAT.
YOU PHILISTINE.
THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.
LOOK, YOU PUT THE
ASS IN EMBARRASS.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
YOU SOCIALLY INEPT SALAMANDER...
DO YOU WANT A
PIECE OF ME, KYLE?!
THAT'S HOW THIS NIGHTMARE BEGAN.
LOVEBIRDS, COME WITH ME.
GET OFF ME, MAN!
HEY, LOOK AT THAT.
TWO FREE SEATS OPENED
UP EVEN CLOSER TO BRIAN.
OUT OF MY WAY.
OH, OH.
OW!
OFFICER, IF YOU WANT
TO USE YOUR TASER ON HIM
I PROMISE NOT TO TELL ANYONE.
YOUR I. D., PLEASE.
WHAT?
I DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
I KNOW MY RIGHTS.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I'LL
JUST CALL A COP
AND HE CAN ARREST YOU
FOR DISTURBING THE PEACE.
HERE, FASCIST.
MAY I HAVE YOUR I. D.,
SIR, AND YOUR NAME?
KYLE BARKER, AGE 30,
PROFESSIONAL BLOWHARD.
AND JUST WHY DO YOU
NEED THIS INFORMATION?
FOR OUR RIFFRAFF FILES.
THAT WAY IF WE EVER
CATCH YOU HERE AGAIN
WE CAN ARREST YOU
FOR TRESPASSING.
MA'AM, CAN YOU
STRAIGHTEN UP, PLEASE?
THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH
YOU CAN ASK OF QUASIMODO.
SIR?
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
AND IF YOU WANT
TO KILL EACH OTHER
DON'T BLEED ON MY DESK.
WOMAN, YOU... YOU ARE A CURSE.
I MEAN, I AM NOT ONLY
MISSING MY FAVORITE SINGER
NOW I AM BEING COUNTED
AMONG THE RIFFRAFF.
HE'S A GOOD PHOTOGRAPHER THOUGH.
HE'S CAPTURED YOUR
GOAT‐LIKE ESSENCE.
KYLE, THAT'S YOU.
OH, DEAR GOD, IT IS.
BOY, WE MADE ONE
FREAKY COUPLE, DIDN'T WE?
HOW DID A FEW NIGHTS
OF CARNAL PLEASURE
END IN THIS ABYSS?
WELL, I GUESS YOU LET
YOUR EMOTIONS GET INVOLVED.
WELL, EXCUSE ME, TIN
MAN, BUT I HAVE A HEART.
YEAH, I KNOW, AND YOU WEAR
IT RIGHT ON YOUR SLEEVE.
OKAY, KYLE, COME ON.
DON'T START TALKING
ABOUT FEELINGS AGAIN.
THAT'S WHAT DAYTIME TV IS FOR.
YOU KNOW, MAXINE, ALL THIS
TIME WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER
AND I STILL DO NOT
UNDERSTAND YOU.
I MEAN, WHAT, WHAT
DO YOU CARE ABOUT?
FOOD, SHELTER, MY
CAREER AND GOOD SEX.
WELL, I GUESS I GAVE
YOU MORE CREDIT
THAN I SHOULD HAVE.
OH.
I GUESS YOU'LL RUN
THROUGH A MEADOW
IN YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP.
YEAH, MAYBE.
OKAY, JUST SIGN RIGHT HERE
AND YOU'RE FREE TO
LEAVE THE PREMISES.
EXCUSE ME.
I HAVE A QUICK WARDROBE CHANGE
AND I LOCKED MYSELF
OUT OF MY DRESSING ROOM.
AREN'T YOU THAT
LOUD, ANGRY COUPLE?
YEAH, WE USED TO BE.
YES. UM, SORRY FOR
THE DISTURBANCE.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
NO PROBLEM.
MAKE SURE THEY DON'T MAKE
IT BACK INTO THE CONCERT.
YES, SIR, MR. McKNIGHT.
WHOO!
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
WELL, I GUESS I'VE HAD
ENOUGH EXCITEMENT
FOR ONE... ONE EVENING.
SO, DO YOU NEED A RIDE HOME?
YES.
YES. THAT'S WHY
I'LL BE TAKING A CAB.
SUIT YOURSELF.
HMM.
WELL...
GOOD NIGHT, MAXINE.
HMM.
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS.
LIVING SINGLE
WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
WELL SOMEONE'S GOTTA
PROTECT WOMEN'S RIGHTS.
ALL THIS WOMEN'S RIGHTS
STUFF JUST PROVES ONE THING.
WHAT?
YOU WANT ME.
♪ TWO HEARTS ♪
♪ TWO HEARTS THAT BEAT AS ONE ♪
♪ OUR LIVES HAVE JUST BEGUN ♪
♪ FOREVER ♪
♪ OHH ♪
♪ I'LL HOLD YOU
CLOSE IN MY ARMS ♪
♪ I CAN'T RESIST YOUR CHARMS ♪
♪ AND LOVE ♪
♪ OH, LOVE ♪
♪ I'LL BE A FOOL FOR YOU ♪
♪ I'M SURE ♪
♪ YOU KNOW I DON'T MIND ♪
♪ OH, YOU KNOW I DON'T MIND ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU ♪
♪ YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME ♪
♪ OH ♪
♪ I KNOW ♪
♪ I KNOW ♪
♪ I FOUND ♪
♪ I FOUND ♪
♪ IN YOU ♪
♪ MY ENDLESS LOVE. ♪
THE WAY THE SUNLIGHT
MAKES YOUR FACE GLOW.
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, BE MY BRIDE.
OH, I'M FLATTERED, BUT NO.
AND IT'S ACTUALLY
"COMBINATION SKIN."
AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' TO
DO WITH THE SUN, DADDY.
KHADIJAH, I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST
FOR A LONG TIME‐‐ I
CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
BIG‐BONED GIRL, MARRY ME!
GET UP, JERK CHICKEN.
YOU KNOW NOBODY
PROPOSES TO KHADIJAH
BUT ME AROUND HERE.
HEY, SAVE YOUR THREATS UNTIL
YOUR VOICE CHANGES, BO‐BO BOY.
IVAN, GO GROW SOME FACIAL HAIR.
RUSSELL, YOU JUST GROW.
NOW, LET ME GUESS.
DOES THIS PROPOSAL
HAVE SOMETHING TO DO
WITH YOUR LITTLE
IMMIGRATION PROBLEM?
WELL, YES.
MY WORK VISA HAS EXPIRED
AND I'M IN DANGER
OF BEING DEPORTED.
THEY SENT THE RENEWAL
FORM TO MY OLD ADDRESS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SEND
OUT CHANGE OF ADDRESS CARDS?
THEN I'D GET ALL
THOSE DAMN BILLS.
LOOK, KHADIJAH, IF I DON'T
FIND SOMEONE TO MARRY
IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS
I'LL BE SHIPPED
BACK TO KINGSTON.
COULD YOU MENTION ME
TO YOUR BUSTY, POUTY
ROOMMATE REGINE?
TRUST ME, YOU'D
RATHER BE DEPORTED.
♪ WE ARE LIVING ♪
♪ HEY ♪
♪ SINGLE ♪
♪ OOH, IN A '90s KIND OF WORLD ♪
♪ I'M GLAD I GOT MY GIRLS ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ WHAT? ♪
♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ WHENEVER THIS
LIFE GETS TOUGH ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO FIGHT WITH ♪
♪ MY HOMEGIRL
STANDING TO MY LEFT ♪
♪ AND MY RIGHT ♪
♪ TRUE BLUE, IT'S
TIGHT LIKE GLUE ♪
♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ WE ARE LIVING SINGLE. ♪
Captioning sponsored by FOX
BROADCASTING COMPANY
OOH, MICHELLE, YOU
ALMOST HAD THE PICTURE.
NOW J. J. AND WILLONA
ARE ALL SQUIGGLY.
YEAH, BUT FLORIDA
NEVER LOOKED BETTER.
HOW ABOUT... NOW?
PERFECT!
OH! OH! WE'VE BEEN WATCHING
SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL ALL ALONG.
SORRY YOU HAD TO COME
OUT FOUR TIMES THIS MONTH.
OH, NO PROBLEM.
I LIKE THE TENANTS HERE.
WELL, FEEL FREE TO
TAKE THEM WITH YOU.
YOU KNOW, KYLE,
IT'S NOT EVERY DAY
I MEET SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HIS
WAY AROUND A PAIR OF WIRE CUTTERS
AND HAS A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR.
WELL, PEOPLE DO
SAY I HAVE A DRY WIT.
LIKE A FREAKIN' DESERT.
I'M GOING TO THE
GUGGENHEIM TOMORROW.
IT'S THE LAST DAY OF THE
CLAES OLDENBURG EXHIBIT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME WITH?
UM... AS MUCH AS I AM INSPIRED
BY HIS GIANT NAUGAHYDE BURGERS
I'M SORRY, I MUST DECLINE.
IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND...
GIVE ME A CALL.
HEY, BROTHER
SHE WAS SETTING IT
OUT, WASN'T SHE, SHORTY?
SHE DID EVERYTHING
BUT STRIP NAKED
AND DO THE HOOCHIE‐MAMA DANCE.
AND KYLE DID EVERYTHING
BUT OPEN HIS SHIRT
AND SHOW HER HIS ONE CHEST HAIR.
COME ON, MAX.
ALL I DID WAS HAND
THE LADY A FEW TOOLS
AND LET MY NATURAL
CHARM SHINE THROUGH.
KYLE, SAVE YOUR BREATH.
YOU CAN FLIRT WITH HER
YOU CAN CALL HER, YOU
CAN GO OUT WITH HER‐‐
I DON'T CARE.
WAIT. I'M TRYING TO HAVE
A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU
AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO
GO OUT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.
WHAT ARE YOU NOW, MY PIMP?
I'M CERTAINLY NOT YOUR WARDEN.
YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
MAXINE, DO NOT PLAY GAMES
WITH ME, BECAUSE I WILL GO.
I'M NOT PLAYING ANY GAMES.
I REALLY DON'T CARE.
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
HEY, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
PRETTY TONY OVER THERE
JUST SENT ME ON A RUN.
BOSS LADY, I KNOW
YOU'LL BE CRUSHED
BUT I'M WITHDRAWING
MY MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.
I UNDERSTAND.
NO WOMAN, NO CRY, HUH?
I DO, HOWEVER, HAVE
ANOTHER PROPOSAL.
DOES IT INVOLVE PAYING
BACK THE $20 YOU OWE ME?
PLEASE. THIS IS
NO TIME FOR JOKES.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
TELL AN IMMIGRATION AGENT
THAT I'M ESSENTIAL TO FLAVOR.
AND THERE'S NO AMERICAN
WHO CAN REPLACE ME.
SO YOU WANT ME TO LIE.
JUST EMBELLISH THE TRUTH
UNTIL IT MEANS SOMETHING
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
IT'S THE AMERICAN WAY.
I DON'T KNOW, RUSSELL.
PLEASE, KHADIJAH.
I WORK VERY HARD FOR YOU.
DON'T SEND ME BACK TO JAMAICA.
IT'S TOO DAMN HOT!
WELL, YOU ARE A
GOOD MUSIC EDITOR...
AND YOU DO GET ME
ALL THAT FREE INCENSE.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.
GOOD, BECAUSE THE
IMMIGRATION AGENT IS HERE.
WELL, WHAT IF I WERE TO SAY NO?
THEN THIS WOULD BE A
VERY AWKWARD MEETING.
MR. MONTEGO, I'M AGENT
TANAKA FROM THE I. N. S.
AGENT TANAKA, THIS
IS KHADIJAH JAMES
MY PROUD SPONSOR.
GO AHEAD, MS. JAMES.
TELL AGENT TANAKA
HOW ESSENTIAL I AM.
OH, YEAH.
BOY, ESSENTIAL.
ESSENTIAL...
IRREPLACEABLE RUSSELL.
CONVINCING ARGUMENT.
BUT REGULATIONS DICTATE
I OBSERVE MR. MONTEGO
IN THE WORKPLACE.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO CUT THIS PARTY SHORT.
WE'RE RAIDING A
SYNTHETIC HAIR SWEATSHOP
ON THE LOWER EAST SIDE.
WE'LL CONTINUE THIS
TOMORROW MORNING AT 8:30.
RUSSELL, THIS
COULD BE A PROBLEM.
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
MY COUSIN MANAGES
THAT SWEATSHOP.
DEEBA? THEY'RE COMING, MAN.
HEY, YOU GUYS, CANCEL YOUR
PLANS FOR SATURDAY NIGHT.
WE ARE GOING TO
SEE BRIAN McKNIGHT.
COURTESY OF MOI.
Khadijah: THAT SHOW'S BEEN.
SOLD OUT FOR WEEKS.
HOW'D YOU GET TICKETS?
I GOT THE TICKETS FROM NATHAN
WHO PLAYS THE CONNIVING
PROCTOLOGIST ON THE SOAP.
HE EVEN GAVE ME AN
EXTRA TICKET TO SCALP.
WHY BOTHER SCALPING IT?
I'M SURE MAX HAS ANOTHER WOMAN
SHE WANTS TO FORCE
KYLE TO GO OUT WITH.
OH, YES! TONIGHT IS KYLE'S DATE
WITH THE CABLE LADY.
SO WHAT DID YOU THINK, MAX?
SHE GOING TO GIVE BROTHER
SOME FREE "SHOWTIME"?
YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU
TO UNDERSTAND THE COMPLEXITIES
OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH KYLE.
LET HIM TASTE THE
FORBIDDEN FRUIT.
THEN HE'LL SEE HOW
SWEET IT IS AT HOME.
YEAH, BUT IF I KNOW KYLE
FORBIDDEN'S HIS FAVORITE FLAVOR.
MAX, LET'S KEEP IT REAL.
WE BOTH KNOW YOU
DIDN'T WANT KYLE
TO GO OUT WITH THAT WOMAN.
YOU TRIED TO PLAY IT ALL COOL
AND GOT YOUR FACE CRACKED.
YEAH! WHAT IF MICHELLE
AND KYLE HIT IT OFF?
PLEASE. ONCE YOU GO
MAX, YOU NEVER GO BACK.
YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL
ME YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN?
I COULDN'T BE LESS PRESSED.
KYLE'S HOME.
OH, HEY, KYLE!
YOU'RE LOOKING... YOU'RE
LOOKING SHARP THERE.
OH, YEAH!
YOU HAD YOUR LITTLE DATE
WITH YOUR LITTLE FRIEND.
UH‐HUH.
HOW'D IT GO?
WELL, IT TURNS OUT SHE'S NOT
AS INSIGHTFUL AS I HAD HOPED.
SHE SPENT AN HOUR
LOOKING AT THE WALL
THINKING IT WAS AN
ABSTRACT PAINTING.
OH... SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS?
WHAT ARE YOU, "BUDDIES" OR...?
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
BUT I WILL SAY IT WAS
REFRESHING BEING WITH SOMEONE
WHO WASN'T AFRAID TO TELL ME
THAT SHE ENJOYED MY COMPANY.
SHE ENJOYED A BLANK WALL, KYLE‐‐
HOW GOOD CAN YOU FEEL?
IT WAS ALSO REFRESHING
BEING WITH SOMEONE
WHO DIDN'T CONSTANTLY
TAKE POTSHOTS AT ME.
WELL, GIVE HER TIME.
TO KNOW YOU IS TO DIS YOU.
YOU KNOW, WOMAN, YOU...
YOU MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE
TO TALK TO YOU.
EVERYTHING IS A TUG‐OF‐WAR.
KYLE, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I WANT A WOMAN
WHO IS AFFECTIONATE.
I WANT A WOMAN WHO HAS A
PICTURE OF ME IN HER APARTMENT.
I WANT A WOMAN
WHO DOES NOT SEND ME OUT
ON DATES WITH OTHER WOMEN.
I DO HAVE PICTURES OF YOU.
THEY MAKE WONDERFUL COASTERS.
YOU KNOW...
YOU HAVE NEVER TAKEN ME OR
THIS RELATIONSHIP SERIOUSLY.
OH, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
GET OFF OF IT, KYLE.
YOU DON'T WANT A GIRLFRIEND
YOU WANT A PSYCHIATRIST
WHO'S GOOD IN BED.
"LISTEN TO MY PROBLEMS."
"LISTEN TO MY PROB‐LEMS..."
WELL, HEY, LOOK, IF I
DON'T MAKE YOU HAPPY
THEN WHY ARE YOU WITH ME?
GOOD POINT.
SO WHY DON'T WE JUST SAY
I AM NO LONGER WITH YOU?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WE'RE THROUGH. IT'S OVER.
DON'T WANT YOU. BYE‐BYE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY BROKE UP.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY
WERE EVER TOGETHER.
THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED
IF THEY HAD TO FOLLOW
MY LOVE AGENDA.
THREE MONTHS TO HOLD
HANDS, SIX MONTHS FOR A HUG
A YEAR FOR A KISS.
HEY, BY THE TURN OF THE CENTURY
THEY'D HAVE BEEN
JUMPING THE BROOM.
NOW, HOW COULD
THEY JUMP THE BROOM
IF SHE'S ALWAYS RIDING IT?
YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT TO
GET THEM BACK TOGETHER.
I FEEL LIKE THIS IS MY FAULT.
WHY?
I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVE A GENERAL GUILT
ABOUT THINGS, YOU KNOW.
OH. GOOD, OVERTON,
YOU'RE STILL HERE.
LOOK, I'VE BROUGHT BACK
KYLE'S PRECIOUS
FRAGILE BELONGINGS.
AW, DANG, GIRL, THAT'S MY
CLEVELAND BROWNS MUG
AND IT'S BROKEN.
WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
THEY'RE LEAVING
CLEVELAND ANYWAY.
GIRL, YOU OKAY?
YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT, BUT HIM...
LOOK.
CHECK THIS OUT.
KYLE WAS TOO
HIGH‐MAINTENANCE ANYWAY.
I MEAN, ALWAYS
TRYING TO GET CLOSE.
YEAH, WE ALL KNOW
HOW MUCH YOU HATE THAT.
EXACTLY.
I MEAN, I HAD TO SEE HIM.
I HAD TO TALK TO HIM.
IT'S LIKE HAVING A
DAMN SECOND JOB.
HEY, IS...?
LOOK, LOOK.
KYLE'S HERE. KYLE'S HERE.
AND LOOK. MAXINE IS HERE.
REUNITED. DOESN'T
IT FEEL SO GOOD?
SWAY WITH ME.
I'LL JUST GO.
LOOK.
HERE'S YOUR STUFF.
AND JUST MAKE
SURE THAT I GET BACK
EVERY SINGLE ITEM
I EVER LEFT IN YOUR APARTMENT.
CERTAINLY.
I'LL FED‐EX YOUR TOOTHBRUSH.
WHAT ABOUT MY TOOTHPASTE?
IT HARDENED AND BROKE.
"HARDENED AND BROKE."
I DON'T BUY THAT, MAN.
HE BETTER FIND MY TOOTHPASTE.
THANKS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
THAT WAS SECURITY.
AGENT TANAKA'S ON HER WAY UP.
PLACES, EVERYBODY!
PERFECT!
NICE PICTURE OF YOU.
OH. THAT OLD THING.
IT'S NOT CONSTANTLY
WINNING THAT EMBARRASSES ME.
IT'S WHEN THEY CARRY ME
AROUND ON THEIR SHOULDERS.
IT'S LIKE HOISTING A
LITTLE JAMAICAN ANGEL.
RUSSELL, DO YOU HAVE THE
LATEST RECORD REVIEWS?
KHADIJAH, THEY'RE
CALLED CDs NOW.
MY FRIEND, YOU ARE
TRULY INDISPENSABLE.
ALL RIGHT, BOSS, I'M READY
FOR MY NEXT ASSIGNMENT.
OH, GOOD.
I NEED YOU TO RUN TO MANHATTAN
AND PICK UP SOME
PHOTOS AT THIS ADDRESS.
OH, NO PROBLEM.
ONLY... I WISH I KNEW
HOW TO GET THERE.
MY FRIEND, TAKE THE
TWO TRAIN TO BROADWAY
THEN CATCH THE
FOUR GOING UPTOWN.
GET OFF ON BLEECKER
AND GO TWO BLOCKS NORTH.
OR YOU COULD TAKE THE
FOUR STRAIGHT TO BROADWAY.
THAT'S A LOT QUICKER.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
OH, BUT RUSSELL PROPOSES
A MORE SCENIC ROUTE
THAT'S SURE TO LIFT MY SPIRITS.
THANKS, RUSSELL.
YOU'RE THE MAN.
I DON'T NEED TO SEE ANY MORE.
THEN I CAN STAY?
UNTIL YOUR PLANE LEAVES.
I'VE ENJOYED YOUR LITTLE SKETCH
BUT THERE'S NO REASON
FOR YOUR CO‐WORKERS TO
EMBARRASS THEMSELVES ANY FURTHER.
YOU WILL BE RECEIVING AN
OFFICIAL DEPORTATION NOTICE
WITHIN THE NEXT 24 HOURS.
BUT, BUT, UH...
I‐I‐IF RUSSELL LEAVES, HOW
WOULD WE EVER PUT OUT
THE PATOIS EDITION OF FLAVOR?
PATOIS EDITION?
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
KHADIJAH IS EXPANDING
OUR MARKET BASE
BY DISTRIBUTING FLAVOR
IN THE WEST INDIES.
RIGHT, KHADIJAH?
RIGHT.
I'M EXPANDING OUR MARKET BASE
BY DISTRIBUTING FLAVOR
IN THE WEST INDIES.
A MAGAZINE IN PATOIS?
IT'S THE LANGUAGE OF JAMAICA.
ME LOOK 'PON YOU, WOMAN,
AND ME LIKE HOW YOU STAY.
GAL, COME HOME BY ME.
I COOK YOU UP SOME
ACKEE AND SALT FISH.
THEN WE CAN YAM IT DOWN.
RUSSELL
ARE YOU TALKING
DIRTY TO AGENT TANAKA?
NOT REALLY.
LOOSELY TRANSLATED
HE THINKS I GOT IT GOIN' ON.
MY EX‐BOYFRIEND WAS JAMAICAN.
SOMETIMES I WISH I
HADN'T DEPORTED HIM.
SO, YOU DO HAVE A HEART.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WELL, IT APPEARS
THAT MR. MONTEGO'S
CONTRIBUTION TO FLAVOR.
IS INDEED INDISPENSABLE.
YES!
I'LL PROCESS YOUR PAPERWORK
AS SOON AS I GET
THAT PATOIS EDITION.
♪ HOORAY! ♪
♪ WE SAVED RUSSELL,
WE SAVED RUSSELL ♪
♪ COME NOW. ♪
OH, YES!
WEREN'T YOU LISTENING?
OF COURSE. I'M JUST
IGNORING THE FACT
THAT WE CAN'T ACTUALLY
AFFORD A PATOIS EDITION.
WE DON'T HAVE TO.
I'LL GET MY COUSIN RIGHT ON IT.
THE ONE WHO RUNS THE SWEATSHOP?
NOT ANYMORE.
THANKS TO AGENT TANAKA
HE'S RUNNING A
PRISON PRINT SHOP.
Regine: COME ON, MAX, MOVE.
Max: SORRY. SORRY.
YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THERE?
Synclaire: YEAH.
HE HAS MY TICKET.
Max: THAT'S MY SEAT.
ALL RIGHT. FORGET IT.
OH, MY GOD.
E‐E‐EXCUSE ME, BUT WOULD
ONE OF YOU MIND
SWITCHING SEATS WITH ME?
HELL NO. MM‐MMM.
MOVE IT OR LOSE IT.
MY ELBOW WAS HERE FIRST.
IF MY ELBOW DOESN'T GO THERE
IT'LL DEFINITELY GO
SOMEPLACE YOU WON'T ENJOY.
HEY. YOU'RE THE SCALPER
WHO SOLD ME MY TICKET.
WOW. WE CAN
ALMOST SEE THE STAGE.
I'M THE BIGGEST
BRIAN McKNIGHT FAN.
ON THE PLANET!
STOP TOUCHING ME.
IF YOU WOULD SIT LIKE A
LADY, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO.
DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE.
I BELIEVE IT'S BEAUTIFUL
THAT THE TWO OF YOU
ARE TALKING AGAIN.
GET THE HELL OFF! SHUT UP!
Announcer: Ladies and
gentlemen, Brian McKnight!
♪ WHOO‐HOO ♪
♪ AHH‐OH. ♪
IT'S BRIAN, GIRL!
IT'S BRIAN!
WELL, GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE
AND WELCOME TO A NIGHT OF LOVE.
All: WHOO!
TURN UP THE HEAT, BABY.
NOW, I WANT TO TELL
ALL THE MEN OUT THERE
THAT A GOOD WOMAN
IS HARD TO FIND.
Max: THANK YOU.
BUT YOU CAN FIND AN EVIL
ONE LURKING IN ANY ALLEY.
KYLE, IF YOU WANT TO INSULT ME
JUST REMIND ME I USED
TO SLEEP WITH YOU!
THAT'S NOTHING
COMPARED TO THE HORROR
OF WAKING UP WITH YOU.
SHH.
WATCH THE SHOW.
McKnight: I'M NOT
FEELING THE LOVE.
FROM THAT COUPLE
IN THE CHEAP SEATS.
OKAY, GREAT.
YOU PHILISTINE.
THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.
LOOK, YOU PUT THE
ASS IN EMBARRASS.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
YOU SOCIALLY INEPT SALAMANDER...
DO YOU WANT A
PIECE OF ME, KYLE?!
THAT'S HOW THIS NIGHTMARE BEGAN.
LOVEBIRDS, COME WITH ME.
GET OFF ME, MAN!
HEY, LOOK AT THAT.
TWO FREE SEATS OPENED
UP EVEN CLOSER TO BRIAN.
OUT OF MY WAY.
OH, OH.
OW!
OFFICER, IF YOU WANT
TO USE YOUR TASER ON HIM
I PROMISE NOT TO TELL ANYONE.
YOUR I. D., PLEASE.
WHAT?
I DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
I KNOW MY RIGHTS.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I'LL
JUST CALL A COP
AND HE CAN ARREST YOU
FOR DISTURBING THE PEACE.
HERE, FASCIST.
MAY I HAVE YOUR I. D.,
SIR, AND YOUR NAME?
KYLE BARKER, AGE 30,
PROFESSIONAL BLOWHARD.
AND JUST WHY DO YOU
NEED THIS INFORMATION?
FOR OUR RIFFRAFF FILES.
THAT WAY IF WE EVER
CATCH YOU HERE AGAIN
WE CAN ARREST YOU
FOR TRESPASSING.
MA'AM, CAN YOU
STRAIGHTEN UP, PLEASE?
THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH
YOU CAN ASK OF QUASIMODO.
SIR?
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
AND IF YOU WANT
TO KILL EACH OTHER
DON'T BLEED ON MY DESK.
WOMAN, YOU... YOU ARE A CURSE.
I MEAN, I AM NOT ONLY
MISSING MY FAVORITE SINGER
NOW I AM BEING COUNTED
AMONG THE RIFFRAFF.
HE'S A GOOD PHOTOGRAPHER THOUGH.
HE'S CAPTURED YOUR
GOAT‐LIKE ESSENCE.
KYLE, THAT'S YOU.
OH, DEAR GOD, IT IS.
BOY, WE MADE ONE
FREAKY COUPLE, DIDN'T WE?
HOW DID A FEW NIGHTS
OF CARNAL PLEASURE
END IN THIS ABYSS?
WELL, I GUESS YOU LET
YOUR EMOTIONS GET INVOLVED.
WELL, EXCUSE ME, TIN
MAN, BUT I HAVE A HEART.
YEAH, I KNOW, AND YOU WEAR
IT RIGHT ON YOUR SLEEVE.
OKAY, KYLE, COME ON.
DON'T START TALKING
ABOUT FEELINGS AGAIN.
THAT'S WHAT DAYTIME TV IS FOR.
YOU KNOW, MAXINE, ALL THIS
TIME WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER
AND I STILL DO NOT
UNDERSTAND YOU.
I MEAN, WHAT, WHAT
DO YOU CARE ABOUT?
FOOD, SHELTER, MY
CAREER AND GOOD SEX.
WELL, I GUESS I GAVE
YOU MORE CREDIT
THAN I SHOULD HAVE.
OH.
I GUESS YOU'LL RUN
THROUGH A MEADOW
IN YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP.
YEAH, MAYBE.
OKAY, JUST SIGN RIGHT HERE
AND YOU'RE FREE TO
LEAVE THE PREMISES.
EXCUSE ME.
I HAVE A QUICK WARDROBE CHANGE
AND I LOCKED MYSELF
OUT OF MY DRESSING ROOM.
AREN'T YOU THAT
LOUD, ANGRY COUPLE?
YEAH, WE USED TO BE.
YES. UM, SORRY FOR
THE DISTURBANCE.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
NO PROBLEM.
MAKE SURE THEY DON'T MAKE
IT BACK INTO THE CONCERT.
YES, SIR, MR. McKNIGHT.
WHOO!
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
WELL, I GUESS I'VE HAD
ENOUGH EXCITEMENT
FOR ONE... ONE EVENING.
SO, DO YOU NEED A RIDE HOME?
YES.
YES. THAT'S WHY
I'LL BE TAKING A CAB.
SUIT YOURSELF.
HMM.
WELL...
GOOD NIGHT, MAXINE.
HMM.
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS.
LIVING SINGLE
WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
WELL SOMEONE'S GOTTA
PROTECT WOMEN'S RIGHTS.
ALL THIS WOMEN'S RIGHTS
STUFF JUST PROVES ONE THING.
WHAT?
YOU WANT ME.
♪ TWO HEARTS ♪
♪ TWO HEARTS THAT BEAT AS ONE ♪
♪ OUR LIVES HAVE JUST BEGUN ♪
♪ FOREVER ♪
♪ OHH ♪
♪ I'LL HOLD YOU
CLOSE IN MY ARMS ♪
♪ I CAN'T RESIST YOUR CHARMS ♪
♪ AND LOVE ♪
♪ OH, LOVE ♪
♪ I'LL BE A FOOL FOR YOU ♪
♪ I'M SURE ♪
♪ YOU KNOW I DON'T MIND ♪
♪ OH, YOU KNOW I DON'T MIND ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU ♪
♪ YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME ♪
♪ OH ♪
♪ I KNOW ♪
♪ I KNOW ♪
♪ I FOUND ♪
♪ I FOUND ♪
♪ IN YOU ♪
♪ MY ENDLESS LOVE. ♪