Living Single (1993–1998): Season 3, Episode 10 - Mr. Big Shot - full transcript
Max, before you get comfy.
Khadijah and Synclaire aren't
here and we're out of pork rinds
so go home.
Did it ever occur to you that
maybe I came over to see you?
Ooh, yeah.
What, k‐k‐k‐k‐k‐k‐kuh, yes!
Oh, my gosh.
That dress has my name
written all over it. Yes!
Uh! Followed by the
words "Stay the hell away."
Uh, Max, Max.
This dress is being used in
a pivotal scene on the soap.
Now, it involves Shelly
the one‐eyed architect
with gingivitis.
‐ So, just‐‐ ‐ No,
no, no, no, no, no.
Freak Shelly. This
dress is a perfect size six.
And I need a dress
for that‐that reception
at the mayor's mansion
this Saturday. Oh, come on.
You will need some
rehab and a neck brace
if you continue to touch this.
Come on, this is important.
I'll be rubbing elbows with
the mayor, the DA, JFK Jr.
There's even talk that
RuPaul will be there.
I mean, you don't want
me to be out‐dressed
by a drag queen, do you?
Max, that's not a
fair comparison.
RuPaul is more feminine.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ And in a 90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Oh keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life gets
tough you gotta fight with ♪
♪ My home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want
no free position girl ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Hey, y'all. I won!
I won the McColgan's
shaving cream contest.
‐ Get outta here! ‐ Yup.
Oh, Obie.
A lifetime supply
of shaving cream?
Our prayers have been answered.
No, baby. I won the grand prize.
I get to take a shot
from the three‐point line
at the Knicks' game on Saturday.
‐ Alright! ‐ Yeah.
Whoop‐de‐doo.
And if I hit it, I win $10,000.
Did I mention
whoop‐de‐doo is Swahili
for "I've always been
your best friend?"
And did I mention that all of
my friends are over four feet tall?
Overton, now you knows
as I helped you peel
all those labels off
those shaving cream cans
that I'm entitled
to half that money.
Kyle, you only peeled off one.
Undoubtedly the winner.
Overton, this is happening
because all of your planets
are in harmonic alignment.
You haven't been
talkin' to them.
Dionne Warwick
people again, have you?
No, as a matter of
fact, I've been reading.
"The Cheyenne Predictions."
Published by The Warwick Press.
Yeah.
Yeah, Obie, see? Now,
you got the technique.
Now, all you have to
do is visualize two things.
One, the ball going in the net.
Two, givin' some
of that prize money
to a needy magazine.
Yeah. Khadijah, if I win
I'll give Flavor all
the prize money.
Look at that,
still hit the bucket
even when I'm lyin' like a rug.
Excuse me. Mind if I
shoot around with you?
Oh, sorry, bro, but I'm under
some big dollar pressure here.
Overton.
Alonzo Mourning.
No, no, not Alonzo.
I'm like, they more
like a Reggie Miller
Michael Jordan combination.
See, what you have
to understand is that..
Uh, there's really no reason
for me to complete this sentence.
Hey, Alonzo. Zo.
I'm Khadijah James,
publisher of Flavor Magazine.
Listen, if you're not too busy
maybe we can
schedule an interview.
Khadijah James?
The one who dumped Grant Hill?
Yeah, that's me.
Man, his game hasn't
been the same since.
He's written some
beautiful sonatas though.
Excuse me, uh, Mr. Zo.
Uh, think you can
give me some tips
on how to hit some
three‐pointers under pressure.
I usually go for a combination
of Michael Jordan..
Reggie Miller?
So, Zo, what
about the interview?
I think I'm gonna have to pass.
According to Grant,
an interview with you
is like a one‐way
ticket to Dumpsville.
Yeah.
‐ Hey! ‐ Hey, sweet potato.
We were going for 12 in a row.
Well, my release is off.
Would you like something cold
to drink from the soda machine?
Uh, yeah. You know, I
love a frosty root beer
but, uh, better
make it apple juice.
Hate to have a
afternoon of bloating.
'Okay.'
Alright, now, Obie,
take your time, right?
‐ And find your
rhythm. ‐ Alright.
‐ Yeah, now we're
rockin'. ‐ 'Way to go.'
‐ Yeah, now we're
rockin'. ‐ Yeah.
You haven't made a shot yet?
If you do that on
Saturday, that's no good.
Why, he didn't start puttin'
up bricks until you came in.
Oh, my God, I know
what's happening here.
I am sucking up all of your
positive transcendental energy.
‐ But jinx. ‐ Oh.
Come on, girl, I
come from a long line
of very superstitious people.
To this day, anybody
in the Jones family
that feels a stroke
of bad luck comin' on
they stomp their
left foot three times
to wake up our guardian angel
that spins around in a circle
to make the devil feel dizzy.
‐ You, my love, are no
jinx. ‐ 'Alright, now, hold up.'
Let's try this again
with Synclaire in the hall.
‐ Okay. ‐ Come on.
‐ Okay, Obie,
she's gone. ‐ Alright.
Ah! See that, Khadijah.
I missed it by a mile and a
half and Synclaire wasn't even..
Damn!
Regine, I'm desperate!
A dress like that is
gonna cost me $2000.
I'm not spending
that type of money
on a dress I'm only
gonna wear once!
So, buy an expensive
gown wear it tonight
and then sell it to a
hooker with similar taste.
Hey, sweet pea, I..
I got some good news and
I got some bad news.
Bad news? How bad?
Hmm, not bad at all.
Actually for bad
news, it's pretty good.
It's just bad news 'cause it's
not as good as the good news.
Okay, good.
Well, bad news is
I don't think we're gonna
make that $10,000 tonight.
'Cause I just got
back from the gym
shootin' baskets for
over hour, didn't hit one.
Which is sort of the good news
'cause that still proves
that you are my lady luck.
Uh, I don't mean to
be politically incorrect
but, uh, is this hormonal?
No.
It's photographical.
How so?
This morning I put this in
here and I didn't tell you.
Even a picture of me
holding a four‐leaf clover
with my fingers and
eyes crossed is bad luck.
Oh, Obie
this is the thing you've
been shaving so hard for
and I can't even help you.
Baby, look, the only
help I need from you
is just to be there,
baby, that's all.
Yeah, but if I'm at the Garden
you're gonna miss
your shot, I'm not going.
Look, girl, nobody or
nothing is gonna convince me
that you are a jinx.
Aren't you goin' after her?
Just a second.
That's better.
Now, come on, baby,
you know I love you.
Hey, baby, come on, you're..
Finally home, huh?
Uh, have you changed your mind?
No, Obie, I'm still not going.
Come on, Synclaire.
You've been with me for all
of my recent major life events.
You were there
when I bought a 290.
You were there when we met
two out of the three "Pet Boys."
I mean..
Hell, you were there
when we first made love.
Hey, kids, Regine around?
No, she went to the
store with Khadijah.
Perfect.
Hey, Max, don't you
have to get ready to go
to that big shindig
over at the mayor's?
Yeah, yeah, I'm
on my way, shut up.
Overton
if you miss that
shot because of me
you're never
going to get to build
your beautiful
little dream house.
Oh, girl, the
important thing here
isn't some place I dreamed about
ever since I weather‐sealed
my baby sister's doll house.
The important thing is us.
You and me together
forever come what may.
So, if you're not goin'
I'm not goin'.
Obie..
Girlie, without you by my side
ain't enough money in the world
to get me to Madison
Square Garden.
Hey, kids.
Regine home yet?
No.
Goodnight.
‐ 'Nice dress.' ‐ Yeah.
Now, convince Overton
he's got to get shot tonight.
Overton!
Did you sign a contract?
‐ Just a one. ‐ Oh, good.
That means they can
only sue your ass once.
‐ 'I'm home!' ‐ Okay.
I gotta go. I gotta get
on a good foot. Alright?
Okay, Synclaire, we got
your favorite dog movies.
"Benji" and "Cujo."
Alright, alright, come
on, let's go, let's go.
Man, Synclaire still won't go.
So?
When you win slip
her a couple of bucks.
Come on, time's a‐wastin'.
Okay, hold up, wait for me.
I just gotta go
and get my jacket.
You're wearin' it.
No!
This clashes with the
seats at the Garden.
Look here, honey loves.
You know I would
never go without you
if not for the threat
of litigation, right?
Don't you worry, Obie
I'm gonna be with
you there in spirit.
I made you something.
"Goobie?"
Uh, Synclaire.
As, um..
Touching a gesture as this is.
And since anything you do
seem to disrupt
Overton's shooting
uh, I think not.
And, look, don't even think
about watching the game on TV.
Not that I believe
in any of this mojo
but we are talking about
ten thousand tax free dollars.
How do you know
it's tax‐free, Kyle?
I'll find a way, let's go.
I can't believe
Max took that dress!
And yet you believe
she'll give it back
when you ask for it?
I'm not asking her,
I'm warning her.
God, I wasn't supposed
to talk about this
but Shelly, the
one‐eyed architect
is gonna be the victim of
a fatal catfight in Palo Alto.
I had to rig the dress
to make it a tear‐away.
If anyone so much as tugs on it
eh, the dress'll
just fall apart.
Let's roll!
‐ Well, goodbye, sweet pea.
‐ Hey, hey, come on, come on.
None of that, none
of that, none of that!
‐ Mr. Jones? ‐ Yes.
Ray Brunger, Director
of Public Relations
from McColgan Industries.
Welcome to you.
Your complimentary guest
and your other
complimentary guests.
Um.. If there is a problem,
I'd be happy to pay for 'em.
Oh, nonsense,
this is the VIP room
and that means you
and apparently them.
Anyway, the contest
is pretty straightforward.
At halftime we'll go out there
you hit the shot everyone
goes home happy.
Any questions?
Yeah, I got a question.
Whose idea was that
coconut deodorant?
Man, on a hot day that
smells like a pina colada.
How would you like a
free gift with purchase
without purchase?
Well, let's see
what we got here.
"Official cologne of
the 1984 Olympic.."
Get‐get out of here.
Yo, Mr. Brunger. Um..
Do I had to wear the hat?
I mean, don't take
this the wrong way
but this really looks goofy.
Designed the thing myself,
nobody ever wants to wear it.
Why should I take
that the wrong way?
Yo, shorty.
I don't think I can do this
without Synclaire here.
Look, Obie, you have a
chance to shoot one ball
make $10,000 and hand
it over to me to invest.
Now, uh, don't you
think you're being a little
selfish about this?
I think this calls for a
woman's perspective.
Fine.
Check it out, Obie,
I got my press pass
now, what do we say, we go
down to the Knicks' locker room
just kick it with the players
take your mind off of things.
How's that suppose
to cheer me up?
I don't know
but it'll sure make
me feel better
if I see John Starks in a strap.
Hm.
I feel so awful, mommy.
I mean, why did
this have to happen
just before Overton
takes his big shot?
What do you mean I've
always been a‐a basketball jinx?
My high school
team going 0 and 32
had nothing to do with me
going to every single game.
Mom, I‐I'll call you back.
Um, Max, I‐I'm no fashion guru
but, uh, that whole
jacket‐around‐the‐waist
torn‐dress look is
really not workin' for you.
You will not believe..
What happened.
I was standing
there sippin' my drink
when Tony Randall himself
asked me to cha cha.
After just one cha
the whole dress rips apart.
The sleeve, the strap..
Thank God, I
decided to wear a bra.
Maxine is gonna kill me
when she sees what
I've done to her dress.
Whoa, whoa, now,
Max, I‐I don't think so.
She rigged that
dress to fall apart
for a fatal catfight
scene in Palo Alto.
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. Okay, wait a minute.
You mean, that
little jackal knew
that this was going to happen?
And she didn't try to warn me?
Oh, now, come on, Max, you did
take the dress
without her permission.
Besides jackals are
very important part
of our food chain.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you can't just leave
carcasses lying all around.
Come on.
Well, that, that little scamp.
She certainly knows
how to pull a practical joke.
Oh, well, see you tomorrow.
Um, Max, you're scaring me
you seem a little too calm.
Well, uh, that's how
you get sometimes
when your soul is settled and..
You know what must be done.
Look at them cheerleaders
shaking their
entire groove thing.
But, who would want to be
a professional cheerleader?
Didn't you try out
for that squad?
That was four years ago
when cheerleading
was about something.
'And, now, get set for
our halftime feature.'
'McColgan's $10,000
“Shave And Shoot Contest ”'
'brought to you by McColgan.'
Mr. Jones, let me just
explain something to you.
If you hit this
shot, I'm a star.
If you launch the ball
into the seventh row
I'm on the street.
So, relax, enjoy.
No pressure.
Look, don't listen
to him, Overton.
I mean, he probably has
never even dribbled a ball.
He has no idea how hard it is
to get up in front
of 20,000 people
and make a shot that
even the pros can't make.
Am I helping at all?
Yeah, who cares,
if I make that shot
without girlie by my side
the money's meaningless.
Overton, I would agree
with you 100 percent
if you weren't so
incredibly wrong.
Overton, it's show time.
‐ Alright. Yeah! ‐ Okay!
‐ Overton! Yeah! Go
Obie! ‐ Come on. Come on.
Goobie! Goobie!
On behalf of everyone
at McColgan Industries
from the men and women
in aftershave research
to the boys in
diaper development
it brings me great pleasure
to introduce this
year's contestant.
Mr. Overton Wakefield Jones!
One shot!
One shot from
the three‐point line
for $10,000.
Overton, good luck.
This one's for you, Synclaire.
Yeah! Oh, oh, oh..
‐ Overton Wakefield
Jones! ‐ Yes!
The ten grand is
yours, what do you say?
Uh, McColgan's not
just a shaving cream
but a way of life?
Yeah! Alright!
Ten thousand dollars!
Yes, yes, yes! I've got
Synclaire on the phone.
‐ Who? ‐ Synclaire, Synclaire.
Oh, cool. Synclaire,
baby, I did it.
Turn on the TV. I did it!
Really? I can't believe it.
Yeah! Yeah, baby, I
won the money, honey.
Oh, yeah, and check this out.
Oh, my God, Obie.
This means I'm not a jinx.
I mean, I look
bad on that t‐shirt
but that's not
really luck related.
A jinx?
Baby, finding you
was the luckiest thing
that ever happened to me.
'Here's your check!'
Sorry, uh, you
know, it's the first time
that's ever happened.
‐ Obie, hang up the phone. ‐ Oh.
It's money, hang up
the phone. Thank you.
We'll be right back.
'Overton Wakefield Jones,
the ten grand is yours!'
'What do you say?'
‐ Max.. ‐ 'Uh, uh..'
Before you say anything
I came here to apologize.
I know that you didn't tell
me that dress was rigged
and that was pretty low.
‐ No‐‐ ‐ 'But I deserved it.'
Should've never taken that
dress without your permission.
I've spent the last four
hours sewing it back together.
Oh, my.. Max.
Oh, God. I don't
know what to say.
Well, I know you take
your job very seriously
and I didn't want to do
anything to jeopardize it.
Thanks.
I'll, um..
I'll go make us some coffee.
Alright, you do that.
Maxine, I'm so proud of you.
Yeah, well, right is right.
Of course, it didn't stop
me from letting the air
out of her tires and putting
sugar in her gas tank.
Stealing her distributer cap.
Ugh.
Canceling her credit cards
ordering two dozen pizzas
to be delivered in the morning.
And fixing her up with RuPaul.
Let's go get a
cup of joe, alright?
Woo‐hoo!
Khadijah and Synclaire aren't
here and we're out of pork rinds
so go home.
Did it ever occur to you that
maybe I came over to see you?
Ooh, yeah.
What, k‐k‐k‐k‐k‐k‐kuh, yes!
Oh, my gosh.
That dress has my name
written all over it. Yes!
Uh! Followed by the
words "Stay the hell away."
Uh, Max, Max.
This dress is being used in
a pivotal scene on the soap.
Now, it involves Shelly
the one‐eyed architect
with gingivitis.
‐ So, just‐‐ ‐ No,
no, no, no, no, no.
Freak Shelly. This
dress is a perfect size six.
And I need a dress
for that‐that reception
at the mayor's mansion
this Saturday. Oh, come on.
You will need some
rehab and a neck brace
if you continue to touch this.
Come on, this is important.
I'll be rubbing elbows with
the mayor, the DA, JFK Jr.
There's even talk that
RuPaul will be there.
I mean, you don't want
me to be out‐dressed
by a drag queen, do you?
Max, that's not a
fair comparison.
RuPaul is more feminine.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ And in a 90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Oh keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life gets
tough you gotta fight with ♪
♪ My home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want
no free position girl ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Hey, y'all. I won!
I won the McColgan's
shaving cream contest.
‐ Get outta here! ‐ Yup.
Oh, Obie.
A lifetime supply
of shaving cream?
Our prayers have been answered.
No, baby. I won the grand prize.
I get to take a shot
from the three‐point line
at the Knicks' game on Saturday.
‐ Alright! ‐ Yeah.
Whoop‐de‐doo.
And if I hit it, I win $10,000.
Did I mention
whoop‐de‐doo is Swahili
for "I've always been
your best friend?"
And did I mention that all of
my friends are over four feet tall?
Overton, now you knows
as I helped you peel
all those labels off
those shaving cream cans
that I'm entitled
to half that money.
Kyle, you only peeled off one.
Undoubtedly the winner.
Overton, this is happening
because all of your planets
are in harmonic alignment.
You haven't been
talkin' to them.
Dionne Warwick
people again, have you?
No, as a matter of
fact, I've been reading.
"The Cheyenne Predictions."
Published by The Warwick Press.
Yeah.
Yeah, Obie, see? Now,
you got the technique.
Now, all you have to
do is visualize two things.
One, the ball going in the net.
Two, givin' some
of that prize money
to a needy magazine.
Yeah. Khadijah, if I win
I'll give Flavor all
the prize money.
Look at that,
still hit the bucket
even when I'm lyin' like a rug.
Excuse me. Mind if I
shoot around with you?
Oh, sorry, bro, but I'm under
some big dollar pressure here.
Overton.
Alonzo Mourning.
No, no, not Alonzo.
I'm like, they more
like a Reggie Miller
Michael Jordan combination.
See, what you have
to understand is that..
Uh, there's really no reason
for me to complete this sentence.
Hey, Alonzo. Zo.
I'm Khadijah James,
publisher of Flavor Magazine.
Listen, if you're not too busy
maybe we can
schedule an interview.
Khadijah James?
The one who dumped Grant Hill?
Yeah, that's me.
Man, his game hasn't
been the same since.
He's written some
beautiful sonatas though.
Excuse me, uh, Mr. Zo.
Uh, think you can
give me some tips
on how to hit some
three‐pointers under pressure.
I usually go for a combination
of Michael Jordan..
Reggie Miller?
So, Zo, what
about the interview?
I think I'm gonna have to pass.
According to Grant,
an interview with you
is like a one‐way
ticket to Dumpsville.
Yeah.
‐ Hey! ‐ Hey, sweet potato.
We were going for 12 in a row.
Well, my release is off.
Would you like something cold
to drink from the soda machine?
Uh, yeah. You know, I
love a frosty root beer
but, uh, better
make it apple juice.
Hate to have a
afternoon of bloating.
'Okay.'
Alright, now, Obie,
take your time, right?
‐ And find your
rhythm. ‐ Alright.
‐ Yeah, now we're
rockin'. ‐ 'Way to go.'
‐ Yeah, now we're
rockin'. ‐ Yeah.
You haven't made a shot yet?
If you do that on
Saturday, that's no good.
Why, he didn't start puttin'
up bricks until you came in.
Oh, my God, I know
what's happening here.
I am sucking up all of your
positive transcendental energy.
‐ But jinx. ‐ Oh.
Come on, girl, I
come from a long line
of very superstitious people.
To this day, anybody
in the Jones family
that feels a stroke
of bad luck comin' on
they stomp their
left foot three times
to wake up our guardian angel
that spins around in a circle
to make the devil feel dizzy.
‐ You, my love, are no
jinx. ‐ 'Alright, now, hold up.'
Let's try this again
with Synclaire in the hall.
‐ Okay. ‐ Come on.
‐ Okay, Obie,
she's gone. ‐ Alright.
Ah! See that, Khadijah.
I missed it by a mile and a
half and Synclaire wasn't even..
Damn!
Regine, I'm desperate!
A dress like that is
gonna cost me $2000.
I'm not spending
that type of money
on a dress I'm only
gonna wear once!
So, buy an expensive
gown wear it tonight
and then sell it to a
hooker with similar taste.
Hey, sweet pea, I..
I got some good news and
I got some bad news.
Bad news? How bad?
Hmm, not bad at all.
Actually for bad
news, it's pretty good.
It's just bad news 'cause it's
not as good as the good news.
Okay, good.
Well, bad news is
I don't think we're gonna
make that $10,000 tonight.
'Cause I just got
back from the gym
shootin' baskets for
over hour, didn't hit one.
Which is sort of the good news
'cause that still proves
that you are my lady luck.
Uh, I don't mean to
be politically incorrect
but, uh, is this hormonal?
No.
It's photographical.
How so?
This morning I put this in
here and I didn't tell you.
Even a picture of me
holding a four‐leaf clover
with my fingers and
eyes crossed is bad luck.
Oh, Obie
this is the thing you've
been shaving so hard for
and I can't even help you.
Baby, look, the only
help I need from you
is just to be there,
baby, that's all.
Yeah, but if I'm at the Garden
you're gonna miss
your shot, I'm not going.
Look, girl, nobody or
nothing is gonna convince me
that you are a jinx.
Aren't you goin' after her?
Just a second.
That's better.
Now, come on, baby,
you know I love you.
Hey, baby, come on, you're..
Finally home, huh?
Uh, have you changed your mind?
No, Obie, I'm still not going.
Come on, Synclaire.
You've been with me for all
of my recent major life events.
You were there
when I bought a 290.
You were there when we met
two out of the three "Pet Boys."
I mean..
Hell, you were there
when we first made love.
Hey, kids, Regine around?
No, she went to the
store with Khadijah.
Perfect.
Hey, Max, don't you
have to get ready to go
to that big shindig
over at the mayor's?
Yeah, yeah, I'm
on my way, shut up.
Overton
if you miss that
shot because of me
you're never
going to get to build
your beautiful
little dream house.
Oh, girl, the
important thing here
isn't some place I dreamed about
ever since I weather‐sealed
my baby sister's doll house.
The important thing is us.
You and me together
forever come what may.
So, if you're not goin'
I'm not goin'.
Obie..
Girlie, without you by my side
ain't enough money in the world
to get me to Madison
Square Garden.
Hey, kids.
Regine home yet?
No.
Goodnight.
‐ 'Nice dress.' ‐ Yeah.
Now, convince Overton
he's got to get shot tonight.
Overton!
Did you sign a contract?
‐ Just a one. ‐ Oh, good.
That means they can
only sue your ass once.
‐ 'I'm home!' ‐ Okay.
I gotta go. I gotta get
on a good foot. Alright?
Okay, Synclaire, we got
your favorite dog movies.
"Benji" and "Cujo."
Alright, alright, come
on, let's go, let's go.
Man, Synclaire still won't go.
So?
When you win slip
her a couple of bucks.
Come on, time's a‐wastin'.
Okay, hold up, wait for me.
I just gotta go
and get my jacket.
You're wearin' it.
No!
This clashes with the
seats at the Garden.
Look here, honey loves.
You know I would
never go without you
if not for the threat
of litigation, right?
Don't you worry, Obie
I'm gonna be with
you there in spirit.
I made you something.
"Goobie?"
Uh, Synclaire.
As, um..
Touching a gesture as this is.
And since anything you do
seem to disrupt
Overton's shooting
uh, I think not.
And, look, don't even think
about watching the game on TV.
Not that I believe
in any of this mojo
but we are talking about
ten thousand tax free dollars.
How do you know
it's tax‐free, Kyle?
I'll find a way, let's go.
I can't believe
Max took that dress!
And yet you believe
she'll give it back
when you ask for it?
I'm not asking her,
I'm warning her.
God, I wasn't supposed
to talk about this
but Shelly, the
one‐eyed architect
is gonna be the victim of
a fatal catfight in Palo Alto.
I had to rig the dress
to make it a tear‐away.
If anyone so much as tugs on it
eh, the dress'll
just fall apart.
Let's roll!
‐ Well, goodbye, sweet pea.
‐ Hey, hey, come on, come on.
None of that, none
of that, none of that!
‐ Mr. Jones? ‐ Yes.
Ray Brunger, Director
of Public Relations
from McColgan Industries.
Welcome to you.
Your complimentary guest
and your other
complimentary guests.
Um.. If there is a problem,
I'd be happy to pay for 'em.
Oh, nonsense,
this is the VIP room
and that means you
and apparently them.
Anyway, the contest
is pretty straightforward.
At halftime we'll go out there
you hit the shot everyone
goes home happy.
Any questions?
Yeah, I got a question.
Whose idea was that
coconut deodorant?
Man, on a hot day that
smells like a pina colada.
How would you like a
free gift with purchase
without purchase?
Well, let's see
what we got here.
"Official cologne of
the 1984 Olympic.."
Get‐get out of here.
Yo, Mr. Brunger. Um..
Do I had to wear the hat?
I mean, don't take
this the wrong way
but this really looks goofy.
Designed the thing myself,
nobody ever wants to wear it.
Why should I take
that the wrong way?
Yo, shorty.
I don't think I can do this
without Synclaire here.
Look, Obie, you have a
chance to shoot one ball
make $10,000 and hand
it over to me to invest.
Now, uh, don't you
think you're being a little
selfish about this?
I think this calls for a
woman's perspective.
Fine.
Check it out, Obie,
I got my press pass
now, what do we say, we go
down to the Knicks' locker room
just kick it with the players
take your mind off of things.
How's that suppose
to cheer me up?
I don't know
but it'll sure make
me feel better
if I see John Starks in a strap.
Hm.
I feel so awful, mommy.
I mean, why did
this have to happen
just before Overton
takes his big shot?
What do you mean I've
always been a‐a basketball jinx?
My high school
team going 0 and 32
had nothing to do with me
going to every single game.
Mom, I‐I'll call you back.
Um, Max, I‐I'm no fashion guru
but, uh, that whole
jacket‐around‐the‐waist
torn‐dress look is
really not workin' for you.
You will not believe..
What happened.
I was standing
there sippin' my drink
when Tony Randall himself
asked me to cha cha.
After just one cha
the whole dress rips apart.
The sleeve, the strap..
Thank God, I
decided to wear a bra.
Maxine is gonna kill me
when she sees what
I've done to her dress.
Whoa, whoa, now,
Max, I‐I don't think so.
She rigged that
dress to fall apart
for a fatal catfight
scene in Palo Alto.
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. Okay, wait a minute.
You mean, that
little jackal knew
that this was going to happen?
And she didn't try to warn me?
Oh, now, come on, Max, you did
take the dress
without her permission.
Besides jackals are
very important part
of our food chain.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you can't just leave
carcasses lying all around.
Come on.
Well, that, that little scamp.
She certainly knows
how to pull a practical joke.
Oh, well, see you tomorrow.
Um, Max, you're scaring me
you seem a little too calm.
Well, uh, that's how
you get sometimes
when your soul is settled and..
You know what must be done.
Look at them cheerleaders
shaking their
entire groove thing.
But, who would want to be
a professional cheerleader?
Didn't you try out
for that squad?
That was four years ago
when cheerleading
was about something.
'And, now, get set for
our halftime feature.'
'McColgan's $10,000
“Shave And Shoot Contest ”'
'brought to you by McColgan.'
Mr. Jones, let me just
explain something to you.
If you hit this
shot, I'm a star.
If you launch the ball
into the seventh row
I'm on the street.
So, relax, enjoy.
No pressure.
Look, don't listen
to him, Overton.
I mean, he probably has
never even dribbled a ball.
He has no idea how hard it is
to get up in front
of 20,000 people
and make a shot that
even the pros can't make.
Am I helping at all?
Yeah, who cares,
if I make that shot
without girlie by my side
the money's meaningless.
Overton, I would agree
with you 100 percent
if you weren't so
incredibly wrong.
Overton, it's show time.
‐ Alright. Yeah! ‐ Okay!
‐ Overton! Yeah! Go
Obie! ‐ Come on. Come on.
Goobie! Goobie!
On behalf of everyone
at McColgan Industries
from the men and women
in aftershave research
to the boys in
diaper development
it brings me great pleasure
to introduce this
year's contestant.
Mr. Overton Wakefield Jones!
One shot!
One shot from
the three‐point line
for $10,000.
Overton, good luck.
This one's for you, Synclaire.
Yeah! Oh, oh, oh..
‐ Overton Wakefield
Jones! ‐ Yes!
The ten grand is
yours, what do you say?
Uh, McColgan's not
just a shaving cream
but a way of life?
Yeah! Alright!
Ten thousand dollars!
Yes, yes, yes! I've got
Synclaire on the phone.
‐ Who? ‐ Synclaire, Synclaire.
Oh, cool. Synclaire,
baby, I did it.
Turn on the TV. I did it!
Really? I can't believe it.
Yeah! Yeah, baby, I
won the money, honey.
Oh, yeah, and check this out.
Oh, my God, Obie.
This means I'm not a jinx.
I mean, I look
bad on that t‐shirt
but that's not
really luck related.
A jinx?
Baby, finding you
was the luckiest thing
that ever happened to me.
'Here's your check!'
Sorry, uh, you
know, it's the first time
that's ever happened.
‐ Obie, hang up the phone. ‐ Oh.
It's money, hang up
the phone. Thank you.
We'll be right back.
'Overton Wakefield Jones,
the ten grand is yours!'
'What do you say?'
‐ Max.. ‐ 'Uh, uh..'
Before you say anything
I came here to apologize.
I know that you didn't tell
me that dress was rigged
and that was pretty low.
‐ No‐‐ ‐ 'But I deserved it.'
Should've never taken that
dress without your permission.
I've spent the last four
hours sewing it back together.
Oh, my.. Max.
Oh, God. I don't
know what to say.
Well, I know you take
your job very seriously
and I didn't want to do
anything to jeopardize it.
Thanks.
I'll, um..
I'll go make us some coffee.
Alright, you do that.
Maxine, I'm so proud of you.
Yeah, well, right is right.
Of course, it didn't stop
me from letting the air
out of her tires and putting
sugar in her gas tank.
Stealing her distributer cap.
Ugh.
Canceling her credit cards
ordering two dozen pizzas
to be delivered in the morning.
And fixing her up with RuPaul.
Let's go get a
cup of joe, alright?
Woo‐hoo!