Living Single (1993–1998): Season 2, Episode 25 - To Grandmother's House We Go - full transcript
Well, mom, that
was my apartment.
And this here is the hallway.
And now this Mother's Day
video card takes you down
to the apartment of
my lady friend Synclaire.
Why, I wonder if she's home.
Hi there, Overton.
Hi, Synclaire. What
a surprise to see you.
‐ Won't you say hi to my
mom? ‐ Hello, Mrs. Jones.
Won't you come in?
You know its almost Mother's Day
and the brownstone is
abuzz with holiday plans.
Yes, here at the brownstone
we're all doing something
to honor the woman who
carried us for nine months.
Or in Kyle's case, seven.
And look, there is Max.
'Hiya, Max, what are you
gonna do for your mom?'
Nothing. My mom and
I have an agreement.
She doesn't expect
anything for Mother's Day
and I let her
forget my birthday.
You know, mom, under
Max's bitter exterior
she's a real sweetheart.
Yeah, bite me!
Oh, my!
Well, let's go and see what
Khadijah and Regine are doing
for their moms.
Come on, Regine, hurry
up and sign the card.
‐ They'll be here any minute.
‐ Have you got everything?
Yup, two plane tickets
reservations at the
Radisson in the Bahamas
and a round of free
cocktails at the Tipsy Turtle.
Isn't that thoughtful?
You know, mama.
I know this tape isn't gonna be
as slick as your favorite show.
"The X Files," but that's
because I spent most of my dough
on the next thirty seconds so,
um, check, check, check it out.
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Ooh in a 90s kinda world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough ya gotta fight with ♪
♪ My homegirl standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True‐blue and
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ A‐ah ♪
Hey, mom, here's
a familiar face.
Um, h‐hi, Mrs. Jones.
I'm delving into the rich and
varied past of my ancestors
so that I can present my mom
with a beautiful leather‐bound
edition of our family tree.
That's nice, Kyle.
'Course, it's no
homemade video tape.
I too have a homemade
gift for my mother.
I threw this in pottery class.
See, she's beautiful
and talented.
Mwah!
Okay, you broke me.
This is what I made
in pottery class.
Khadijah, sending our
moms away to the Bahamas
was a brilliant idea.
I am not spending another
Mother's Day with my mother.
It's unnatural.
That must be Khadijah
and Regine's moms now.
Let's watch, shall we?
‐ Mommy! ‐ Hi, baby.
‐ Sweetheart. ‐ Mother!
Aunt Rita, Rita, Rita.
Ladies and ladies, you
know, I cannot get over it.
Every time I see you two, you
look younger and more beautiful.
Oh!
Kyle, you really
know how to sling it.
Oh, hush, I like it, go ahead.
Laverne, it has been a pleasure
basking in your radiant beauty.
Mmm!
Mrs. James, buh‐bye.
Hi, Obie.
Oh, I'm not here.
Just act natural.
Here it comes, ma.
That boy just keeps
getting stranger.
So, what's this big surprise?
Well, mom, in the past,
when I've given you presents
I would preface it with a speech
about how it's the
thought that counts.
Well, in this case,
the gift is so expensive
it speaks for itself.
Happy Mother's Day.
Oh, my God! Tickets
to the Bahamas.
Obie, go hand‐held.
They're crying.
This is, this is,
this is incredible.
Oh, it's so sweet of
you to do this, but..
I just can't leave your
grandmother alone.
She hasn't been herself lately.
But I just spoke to nana
last week. She sounded fine.
She's been wandering
off for hours at a time
and can't remember
where she's been.
I'm sorry, baby. I
just wouldn't feel right.
Well, mom, that
means you get to enjoy
an extra fog cutter at
the Tipsy Turtle, alright.
Ah, I'm not going by
myself. I'd look desperate.
But you have to go.
Well, ma, if you're
worried about nana
she could just
come stay with us.
Oh, good answer. Good
answer. Good answer. Yeah, yeah.
Then it's set.
Girl, we are going
to the Bahamas!
Oh, finally, the perfect
place for me to wear
my fuchsia and lemon culottes.
Max!
Look at this mess you made.
Nana's gonna be here any minute.
Oh, that's alright,
Khadijah. I got it.
Hey!
People, my research has proven
what I have suspected all along.
I am descended from greatness.
Oh, come on, Kyle. All
test tubes are the same.
I will have you know, that
my great‐great‐grandfather
Elijah Barker invented
a device that helped
to usher in the modern age.
I give to you the sipping straw.
Better known as Elijah's
hollow drinking dowel.
So what you're saying is
your family has
sucked for generations.
Nana!
Baby girl!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Khadijah, come on.
This woman is far too
young to be a grandmother.
Heh‐heh, you were right,
Rita. He sure can shovel it. Here.
She is so excited to be here.
She's been talking
about it for days.
And she's standing right
here and can talk for herself.
Ooh, Regine.
I've got to show you this
resort ensemble I found.
I love it!
Yeah, and if you stand
on the beach at night
you can help
ships find the shore.
Can you turn that
away from the camera?
I'm getting some
flare‐up in through here.
Rita, we better get goin' if
we're gonna make our plane.
Mom, are you gonna be alright?
Oh, Rita, this is not my
first time in a building.
You don't have to show me
how the indoor plumbing works.
Alright, ma. Have
a wonderful trip.
Oh, thank you again, sweetheart.
‐ Yes, yeah, yeah,
yeah. ‐ Come on, Rita.
‐ Alright, mom. ‐ Bye.
Now would be a good time
to put the tape on pause
so I can say hi to dad.
Hi, dad.
Okay, you can go
back to sleep now.
Uh, sweetie, it is
so good to see you.
And you're lookin' healthy.
‐ Now, drive me home.
‐ But you just got here.
Ugh! I know your mother
told you to watch over me
but I am fine, I don't
wanna put y'all out.
But I've been lookin'
forward to this all week.
Who's gonna make
the peanut butter pie?
Yes, I don't wanna
hear another word
about your famous
peanut butter pie
unless I'm scraping some
off the roof of my mouth.
Please, banana fanna.
Aw‐w‐w.
How can I say no
to my baby girl?
Okay, what do I need?
A pound of brown sugar.
‐ Eight sticks of butter. ‐ Oh.
You just don't hear
words like that anymore.
Ella Fitzgerald. Listen..
Ella Fitzgerald would
still be in Virginia
singing for corn fritters if
it wasn't for me. Ha ha ha.
I told her, "Don't worry if
you don't know the words"
just make up some
funny sounds." Ha ha ha.
Hey, hey, people. Deal me in.
Hey, Kyle, I thought you
were going to the library
to research your family tree.
Yeah, well, after giving
it careful consideration
I decided to buy my
mother a statuette
with the inscription, "I
Love You This Much."
Aw. Woo, woo, woo.
What happened?
Well, it seems my
great‐great‐grandfather
although a beverage visionary,
was also something of a dupe.
Some fast‐talking
charlatan named Silas Taylor
convinced him to sink his
entire fortune into a railroad
that spanned the entire
Atlantic Ocean. Duh!
'Anyway, two days later'
Taylor was gone and so was
my great‐grandfather's money.
Silas Taylor from
Macon, Georgia?
Yeah.
That's my
great‐great‐grandfather.
Silas "Silver‐Tongue" Taylor.
Maxine, don't play with me.
No, for real!
For years our family talked
about great‐great‐grandpa Silas
and the moron who made him rich.
Now, stupidity has a name.
Barker.
This is unbelievable.
Angel, zero. Satan, one.
Well, mom
next time Kyle's mom
tries to act a bit sidity
just say, "All aboard!
Next stop, Atlantis."
Well, nothing like humiliating
Kyle to work up an appetite.
Let's eat!
Oh, that sounds
like a fine idea.
But, uh, although it
is grandma's nap time
um, y'all go on without me.
Oh, no, nana. I don't know
about leaving you here by yourself.
Well, honey, nana's
been nappin' by herself
for plenty years now.
I think I've got it down.
But, nana, I'm not‐‐
I know your mother's got
you thinkin' that I'm helpless.
I am just fine.
Okay.
Well, is there anything
I can bring you back?
A great‐grandbaby.
How about a turkey burger?
You have a good nap.
Nana, we're back.
Nana, where are you?
She's probably upstairs. Nana!
‐ Nana? ‐ Is she up there?
'I don't see her.'
Oh, my God! She's wandered off.
Hello.
Hi, ma.
I'm glad you made
it there safely.
All fine.
‐ Nana? ‐ No nana there.
Nana's gone, she's disappeared.
No, no, ma. She said,
"Nana's dish is here."
We ordered out.
Yeah. Huh? Wha, huh?
I can't hear you. We must
have a bad connection.
Okay, I'll call you later. Bye.
I lost my nana.
I can't believe I lost my nana.
Oh, God. I should
never have left her alone.
Mama, I'd just like to take
this time out to assure you
that the misplacing
of elderly people
is not an everyday
occurrence here..
At the brownstone.
Your nana took my wig!
My Cleopatra wig. That's
real hair from the Philippines.
You better find her!
I can't believe she
would just disappear
without at least leaving a note.
You mean, besides this one?
"To Khadijah, from nana?"
"Dear Khadijah, I didn't wanna
be in the way so I went home.
"Thanks for everything.
P.S. does that Max
girl live here or not?"
Thank God, she's alright.
I'm gonna kill her.
Forget this. I'm
going to Jersey.
I'm goin' with you.
Come on, Synclaire.
Mama love this,
an action sequence.
'Nana!'
Nana, are you here?
I think somebody's here. I
smell Bengay and collard greens.
‐ Thank God, you're alright!
‐ Of course, I'm alright.
I had a homemade meal
and a deep‐heating rub.
Well, as you can see,
mom, we've located nana.
And she's fine and
looking particularly fetchin'
in that nice wig.
Which is mine.
Hm. You always were
a stingy little somebody.
‐ What are you doing
here? ‐ I left you a note.
I came to be with my things.
She came home to be with me.
Mr. Hampton, the baker?
I've never seen this
man before in my life.
Oh, my goodness, Ruth.
Let's cut the charade.
Now, we love each other,
and I don't care who knows it.
Work it, nana.
So this is why you've
been wanderin' off.
And if you so much as breathe
one word of this to your mother
you have seen your
last peanut butter pie.
‐ That goes for you
too, missy. ‐'What!'
I don't want that town
crier of a mother of yours
getting a hold of this.
Please. If you're not pregnant
this isn't big enough
for my mother.
Why the big secret?
Do you tell your mother
about every man you've
been intimate with?
Grandmother!
Why, I'm saving myself for
the man I'm going to marry.
‐ So am I. ‐ Ha ha ha.
Why don't you
just tell Aunt Rita
that you have a boyfriend?
It worked out well for
me and my roommates
when I told 'em that
Obie and I were having s..
You know, this is really
Khadijah's business. I'm..
Look, I promised my mother
that I'd take care of you.
If you want me to
keep your secret
you've to come back
to Brooklyn with me.
I'm staying here with Milton.
‐ Fine. I'm telling
mom. ‐ Fine. I'll deny it.
And she will.
Now, from what I've seen
she's a much
better liar than you.
Okay... nana.
But I got it all on tape.
Come on, Milton, drain the
bubble bath and help me pack.
Okay.
Blackmailing me after all the
whippings I've saved her from.
They think we don't know
how to make love 'cause we old.
Now, you're cold, Khadijah.
Breaking up their
romantic weekend.
Yeah, I could never
do that to my granny.
Your granny died 15 years ago.
She did not!
Mom and dad told
me she bought a farm.
Synclaire..
She bought the farm.
Oh, my God!
Granny's dead.
Ah, Max, you are here.
What are the odds of that?
Well, further research into
my lineage has revealed
this little tidbit.
It seems my
great‐great‐grandfather
was not your ancestors'
only victim. Oh, no.
He also swindled a
woman named Sarah.
Sarah and Elijah were so
devastated that they took solace
in each others arms.
And they planted the
seed, that planted the seed
that planted the
seed, that made me.
So, you see, if it were not
for your thieving relatives
the unique genetic cocktail
that is moi, would not exist.
Thanks.
Well, I guess, there's
only one thing to do now.
Send a cyborg into
the past to kill that man.
I miss you too, Milton.
Oh, I think that's them.
Uh, I'll see you tonight.
At our usual place.
Maybe I can get that
wig again. Ha ha ha.
Okay, bye.
‐ Hey... ha ha! ‐ Oh, hi.
Look at you all tanned up..
You need to send us to
the Bahamas more often.
I know, that's right.
It was like a tropical
version of the Jersey shore
only no syringes.
And I got a little
something for you.
I love it!
It goes with anything.
Oh, it's gonna go, alright.
What do you say, we let these
ladies have their re‐union, huh?
Yeah. Good point, shorty.
That doesn't mean you
have to miss anything, mom.
Excuse us, ladies.
And, uh, when at all possible
uh, just try to look this way.
‐ These are for you.
‐ Okay. Thank you.
‐ Ooh! It's beautiful.
Thanks. ‐ Oh, nice.
So how were things here?
Uh, great!
I think I'll go try this on.
Khadijah, what happened?
Nothin'. This is wonderful.
It's so versatile, you
can use it as a sarong or..
A head wrap.
Mmm.
Khadijah, you're lying.
Synclaire, what happened?
Why are you asking
an innocent bystander?
Stay on Khadijah. She'll crack.
Khadijah..
Nana went away to
be with her boyfriend.
Boyfriend?
Here I am thinking that
you've been losing your mind
and the truth is
that you've been
running around with some man?
‐ He has a name.
Milton. ‐ Milton, the baker?
Yeah, Milton, the baker.
She didn't think you could
handle her being with anyone
other than papa.
I didn't feel comfortable
talking to you about my men.
‐ Men? Did she say men?
‐ That's what I heard. Men?
‐ Ma, how many have there
been? ‐ Told you she can't handle it.
‐ You haven't given a chance.
‐ You always take her side.
‐ Well, she's my mom. ‐
But she never takes my side.
How can I take your side?
You never tell me anything.
Well, in my day
mothers and daughters
didn't talk about these things.
We'd just snuck around and
everything turned out alright.
Ma, things did not
work out alright.
I wanted to know more about
what was going on in your life.
That's why I try to keep an open
relationship with my daughter.
Khadijah and I tell
each other everything.
Uh, yeah. So you
gonna tell her about Nigel.
Who's Nigel?
Nigel's the snorkeling
instructor. Look here.
Oh, that will teach you to
leave me alone on a beach.
A snorkeler, huh?
Yes, mother.
Well, you know..
Snorkelers are pretty
good with the pucker
but bakers are great
with their hands.
Ah, suki suki now.
Oh, mom, now that we're being
more open with one another
I've gotta ask you...
Are you practicing safe sex?
Okay! Over to "Knights of God."
Well, mom, here it is.
The Mothers Day video card.
Um, sorry, it's a tad late
but as you saw, interesting
stories started to unfold
and I felt I had a
responsibility to you
the home‐viewing audience,
to see it through to the end.
Oh, and by the way, here's
some stuff that we saw
on the way to nana's house
that we didn't have time
to stop and fully investigate.
Woo‐hoo!
was my apartment.
And this here is the hallway.
And now this Mother's Day
video card takes you down
to the apartment of
my lady friend Synclaire.
Why, I wonder if she's home.
Hi there, Overton.
Hi, Synclaire. What
a surprise to see you.
‐ Won't you say hi to my
mom? ‐ Hello, Mrs. Jones.
Won't you come in?
You know its almost Mother's Day
and the brownstone is
abuzz with holiday plans.
Yes, here at the brownstone
we're all doing something
to honor the woman who
carried us for nine months.
Or in Kyle's case, seven.
And look, there is Max.
'Hiya, Max, what are you
gonna do for your mom?'
Nothing. My mom and
I have an agreement.
She doesn't expect
anything for Mother's Day
and I let her
forget my birthday.
You know, mom, under
Max's bitter exterior
she's a real sweetheart.
Yeah, bite me!
Oh, my!
Well, let's go and see what
Khadijah and Regine are doing
for their moms.
Come on, Regine, hurry
up and sign the card.
‐ They'll be here any minute.
‐ Have you got everything?
Yup, two plane tickets
reservations at the
Radisson in the Bahamas
and a round of free
cocktails at the Tipsy Turtle.
Isn't that thoughtful?
You know, mama.
I know this tape isn't gonna be
as slick as your favorite show.
"The X Files," but that's
because I spent most of my dough
on the next thirty seconds so,
um, check, check, check it out.
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Ooh in a 90s kinda world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough ya gotta fight with ♪
♪ My homegirl standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True‐blue and
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ A‐ah ♪
Hey, mom, here's
a familiar face.
Um, h‐hi, Mrs. Jones.
I'm delving into the rich and
varied past of my ancestors
so that I can present my mom
with a beautiful leather‐bound
edition of our family tree.
That's nice, Kyle.
'Course, it's no
homemade video tape.
I too have a homemade
gift for my mother.
I threw this in pottery class.
See, she's beautiful
and talented.
Mwah!
Okay, you broke me.
This is what I made
in pottery class.
Khadijah, sending our
moms away to the Bahamas
was a brilliant idea.
I am not spending another
Mother's Day with my mother.
It's unnatural.
That must be Khadijah
and Regine's moms now.
Let's watch, shall we?
‐ Mommy! ‐ Hi, baby.
‐ Sweetheart. ‐ Mother!
Aunt Rita, Rita, Rita.
Ladies and ladies, you
know, I cannot get over it.
Every time I see you two, you
look younger and more beautiful.
Oh!
Kyle, you really
know how to sling it.
Oh, hush, I like it, go ahead.
Laverne, it has been a pleasure
basking in your radiant beauty.
Mmm!
Mrs. James, buh‐bye.
Hi, Obie.
Oh, I'm not here.
Just act natural.
Here it comes, ma.
That boy just keeps
getting stranger.
So, what's this big surprise?
Well, mom, in the past,
when I've given you presents
I would preface it with a speech
about how it's the
thought that counts.
Well, in this case,
the gift is so expensive
it speaks for itself.
Happy Mother's Day.
Oh, my God! Tickets
to the Bahamas.
Obie, go hand‐held.
They're crying.
This is, this is,
this is incredible.
Oh, it's so sweet of
you to do this, but..
I just can't leave your
grandmother alone.
She hasn't been herself lately.
But I just spoke to nana
last week. She sounded fine.
She's been wandering
off for hours at a time
and can't remember
where she's been.
I'm sorry, baby. I
just wouldn't feel right.
Well, mom, that
means you get to enjoy
an extra fog cutter at
the Tipsy Turtle, alright.
Ah, I'm not going by
myself. I'd look desperate.
But you have to go.
Well, ma, if you're
worried about nana
she could just
come stay with us.
Oh, good answer. Good
answer. Good answer. Yeah, yeah.
Then it's set.
Girl, we are going
to the Bahamas!
Oh, finally, the perfect
place for me to wear
my fuchsia and lemon culottes.
Max!
Look at this mess you made.
Nana's gonna be here any minute.
Oh, that's alright,
Khadijah. I got it.
Hey!
People, my research has proven
what I have suspected all along.
I am descended from greatness.
Oh, come on, Kyle. All
test tubes are the same.
I will have you know, that
my great‐great‐grandfather
Elijah Barker invented
a device that helped
to usher in the modern age.
I give to you the sipping straw.
Better known as Elijah's
hollow drinking dowel.
So what you're saying is
your family has
sucked for generations.
Nana!
Baby girl!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Khadijah, come on.
This woman is far too
young to be a grandmother.
Heh‐heh, you were right,
Rita. He sure can shovel it. Here.
She is so excited to be here.
She's been talking
about it for days.
And she's standing right
here and can talk for herself.
Ooh, Regine.
I've got to show you this
resort ensemble I found.
I love it!
Yeah, and if you stand
on the beach at night
you can help
ships find the shore.
Can you turn that
away from the camera?
I'm getting some
flare‐up in through here.
Rita, we better get goin' if
we're gonna make our plane.
Mom, are you gonna be alright?
Oh, Rita, this is not my
first time in a building.
You don't have to show me
how the indoor plumbing works.
Alright, ma. Have
a wonderful trip.
Oh, thank you again, sweetheart.
‐ Yes, yeah, yeah,
yeah. ‐ Come on, Rita.
‐ Alright, mom. ‐ Bye.
Now would be a good time
to put the tape on pause
so I can say hi to dad.
Hi, dad.
Okay, you can go
back to sleep now.
Uh, sweetie, it is
so good to see you.
And you're lookin' healthy.
‐ Now, drive me home.
‐ But you just got here.
Ugh! I know your mother
told you to watch over me
but I am fine, I don't
wanna put y'all out.
But I've been lookin'
forward to this all week.
Who's gonna make
the peanut butter pie?
Yes, I don't wanna
hear another word
about your famous
peanut butter pie
unless I'm scraping some
off the roof of my mouth.
Please, banana fanna.
Aw‐w‐w.
How can I say no
to my baby girl?
Okay, what do I need?
A pound of brown sugar.
‐ Eight sticks of butter. ‐ Oh.
You just don't hear
words like that anymore.
Ella Fitzgerald. Listen..
Ella Fitzgerald would
still be in Virginia
singing for corn fritters if
it wasn't for me. Ha ha ha.
I told her, "Don't worry if
you don't know the words"
just make up some
funny sounds." Ha ha ha.
Hey, hey, people. Deal me in.
Hey, Kyle, I thought you
were going to the library
to research your family tree.
Yeah, well, after giving
it careful consideration
I decided to buy my
mother a statuette
with the inscription, "I
Love You This Much."
Aw. Woo, woo, woo.
What happened?
Well, it seems my
great‐great‐grandfather
although a beverage visionary,
was also something of a dupe.
Some fast‐talking
charlatan named Silas Taylor
convinced him to sink his
entire fortune into a railroad
that spanned the entire
Atlantic Ocean. Duh!
'Anyway, two days later'
Taylor was gone and so was
my great‐grandfather's money.
Silas Taylor from
Macon, Georgia?
Yeah.
That's my
great‐great‐grandfather.
Silas "Silver‐Tongue" Taylor.
Maxine, don't play with me.
No, for real!
For years our family talked
about great‐great‐grandpa Silas
and the moron who made him rich.
Now, stupidity has a name.
Barker.
This is unbelievable.
Angel, zero. Satan, one.
Well, mom
next time Kyle's mom
tries to act a bit sidity
just say, "All aboard!
Next stop, Atlantis."
Well, nothing like humiliating
Kyle to work up an appetite.
Let's eat!
Oh, that sounds
like a fine idea.
But, uh, although it
is grandma's nap time
um, y'all go on without me.
Oh, no, nana. I don't know
about leaving you here by yourself.
Well, honey, nana's
been nappin' by herself
for plenty years now.
I think I've got it down.
But, nana, I'm not‐‐
I know your mother's got
you thinkin' that I'm helpless.
I am just fine.
Okay.
Well, is there anything
I can bring you back?
A great‐grandbaby.
How about a turkey burger?
You have a good nap.
Nana, we're back.
Nana, where are you?
She's probably upstairs. Nana!
‐ Nana? ‐ Is she up there?
'I don't see her.'
Oh, my God! She's wandered off.
Hello.
Hi, ma.
I'm glad you made
it there safely.
All fine.
‐ Nana? ‐ No nana there.
Nana's gone, she's disappeared.
No, no, ma. She said,
"Nana's dish is here."
We ordered out.
Yeah. Huh? Wha, huh?
I can't hear you. We must
have a bad connection.
Okay, I'll call you later. Bye.
I lost my nana.
I can't believe I lost my nana.
Oh, God. I should
never have left her alone.
Mama, I'd just like to take
this time out to assure you
that the misplacing
of elderly people
is not an everyday
occurrence here..
At the brownstone.
Your nana took my wig!
My Cleopatra wig. That's
real hair from the Philippines.
You better find her!
I can't believe she
would just disappear
without at least leaving a note.
You mean, besides this one?
"To Khadijah, from nana?"
"Dear Khadijah, I didn't wanna
be in the way so I went home.
"Thanks for everything.
P.S. does that Max
girl live here or not?"
Thank God, she's alright.
I'm gonna kill her.
Forget this. I'm
going to Jersey.
I'm goin' with you.
Come on, Synclaire.
Mama love this,
an action sequence.
'Nana!'
Nana, are you here?
I think somebody's here. I
smell Bengay and collard greens.
‐ Thank God, you're alright!
‐ Of course, I'm alright.
I had a homemade meal
and a deep‐heating rub.
Well, as you can see,
mom, we've located nana.
And she's fine and
looking particularly fetchin'
in that nice wig.
Which is mine.
Hm. You always were
a stingy little somebody.
‐ What are you doing
here? ‐ I left you a note.
I came to be with my things.
She came home to be with me.
Mr. Hampton, the baker?
I've never seen this
man before in my life.
Oh, my goodness, Ruth.
Let's cut the charade.
Now, we love each other,
and I don't care who knows it.
Work it, nana.
So this is why you've
been wanderin' off.
And if you so much as breathe
one word of this to your mother
you have seen your
last peanut butter pie.
‐ That goes for you
too, missy. ‐'What!'
I don't want that town
crier of a mother of yours
getting a hold of this.
Please. If you're not pregnant
this isn't big enough
for my mother.
Why the big secret?
Do you tell your mother
about every man you've
been intimate with?
Grandmother!
Why, I'm saving myself for
the man I'm going to marry.
‐ So am I. ‐ Ha ha ha.
Why don't you
just tell Aunt Rita
that you have a boyfriend?
It worked out well for
me and my roommates
when I told 'em that
Obie and I were having s..
You know, this is really
Khadijah's business. I'm..
Look, I promised my mother
that I'd take care of you.
If you want me to
keep your secret
you've to come back
to Brooklyn with me.
I'm staying here with Milton.
‐ Fine. I'm telling
mom. ‐ Fine. I'll deny it.
And she will.
Now, from what I've seen
she's a much
better liar than you.
Okay... nana.
But I got it all on tape.
Come on, Milton, drain the
bubble bath and help me pack.
Okay.
Blackmailing me after all the
whippings I've saved her from.
They think we don't know
how to make love 'cause we old.
Now, you're cold, Khadijah.
Breaking up their
romantic weekend.
Yeah, I could never
do that to my granny.
Your granny died 15 years ago.
She did not!
Mom and dad told
me she bought a farm.
Synclaire..
She bought the farm.
Oh, my God!
Granny's dead.
Ah, Max, you are here.
What are the odds of that?
Well, further research into
my lineage has revealed
this little tidbit.
It seems my
great‐great‐grandfather
was not your ancestors'
only victim. Oh, no.
He also swindled a
woman named Sarah.
Sarah and Elijah were so
devastated that they took solace
in each others arms.
And they planted the
seed, that planted the seed
that planted the
seed, that made me.
So, you see, if it were not
for your thieving relatives
the unique genetic cocktail
that is moi, would not exist.
Thanks.
Well, I guess, there's
only one thing to do now.
Send a cyborg into
the past to kill that man.
I miss you too, Milton.
Oh, I think that's them.
Uh, I'll see you tonight.
At our usual place.
Maybe I can get that
wig again. Ha ha ha.
Okay, bye.
‐ Hey... ha ha! ‐ Oh, hi.
Look at you all tanned up..
You need to send us to
the Bahamas more often.
I know, that's right.
It was like a tropical
version of the Jersey shore
only no syringes.
And I got a little
something for you.
I love it!
It goes with anything.
Oh, it's gonna go, alright.
What do you say, we let these
ladies have their re‐union, huh?
Yeah. Good point, shorty.
That doesn't mean you
have to miss anything, mom.
Excuse us, ladies.
And, uh, when at all possible
uh, just try to look this way.
‐ These are for you.
‐ Okay. Thank you.
‐ Ooh! It's beautiful.
Thanks. ‐ Oh, nice.
So how were things here?
Uh, great!
I think I'll go try this on.
Khadijah, what happened?
Nothin'. This is wonderful.
It's so versatile, you
can use it as a sarong or..
A head wrap.
Mmm.
Khadijah, you're lying.
Synclaire, what happened?
Why are you asking
an innocent bystander?
Stay on Khadijah. She'll crack.
Khadijah..
Nana went away to
be with her boyfriend.
Boyfriend?
Here I am thinking that
you've been losing your mind
and the truth is
that you've been
running around with some man?
‐ He has a name.
Milton. ‐ Milton, the baker?
Yeah, Milton, the baker.
She didn't think you could
handle her being with anyone
other than papa.
I didn't feel comfortable
talking to you about my men.
‐ Men? Did she say men?
‐ That's what I heard. Men?
‐ Ma, how many have there
been? ‐ Told you she can't handle it.
‐ You haven't given a chance.
‐ You always take her side.
‐ Well, she's my mom. ‐
But she never takes my side.
How can I take your side?
You never tell me anything.
Well, in my day
mothers and daughters
didn't talk about these things.
We'd just snuck around and
everything turned out alright.
Ma, things did not
work out alright.
I wanted to know more about
what was going on in your life.
That's why I try to keep an open
relationship with my daughter.
Khadijah and I tell
each other everything.
Uh, yeah. So you
gonna tell her about Nigel.
Who's Nigel?
Nigel's the snorkeling
instructor. Look here.
Oh, that will teach you to
leave me alone on a beach.
A snorkeler, huh?
Yes, mother.
Well, you know..
Snorkelers are pretty
good with the pucker
but bakers are great
with their hands.
Ah, suki suki now.
Oh, mom, now that we're being
more open with one another
I've gotta ask you...
Are you practicing safe sex?
Okay! Over to "Knights of God."
Well, mom, here it is.
The Mothers Day video card.
Um, sorry, it's a tad late
but as you saw, interesting
stories started to unfold
and I felt I had a
responsibility to you
the home‐viewing audience,
to see it through to the end.
Oh, and by the way, here's
some stuff that we saw
on the way to nana's house
that we didn't have time
to stop and fully investigate.
Woo‐hoo!