Living Single (1993–1998): Season 2, Episode 22 - Another Saturday Night - full transcript
Hey, hey. Regine, do you have
those books I asked you for?
‐ Yeah, they're
right here. ‐ Oh, cool.
Kyle, you're reading.
What sort of mischief has
Curious George gotten into now?
For your information, Magpie..
I have a date with
one of my investors.
The princess of Saun‐Hwi. Oh‐ho.
And I'm reading up
on all the protocol
for dating a woman of class..
Because Lord knows
I've made some mistakes.
Well, don't think
of it as a mistake.
Think of it the
way I do. I don't!
Regine, these books
are not on royalty.
'Yes, they are.'
You got Queeny, the Prince
of tides and the Fisher King.
You know, Kyle, I was thinking
an interview with
an African princess
will make a great
featureful flavor.
Maybe I can interview
before you go on your date.
Uh, sorry, that
won't be possible.
Ashamed to introduce her
to your common friends?
Well, there is that.
And the fact that I don't
know where she's staying.
For security reasons her
motorcade will be picking me up.
Kyle, you know here in America
when we don't wanna
be bothered with a guy
we gives him the wrong number.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh in a 90's kinda of
world I'm glad I've got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whatever this life gets
up you got fight with ♪
♪ My homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue and
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ahh‐hh ♪
I don't know where it went.
Quick, Khadijah, help
us find the remote control
it's premier night for
the seventh network
and we need to tape it.
Well, why don't you just
press record on the VCR?
Oh, yeah and then we could
start churning our own butter too.
Now, is there anything
else I can do for you?
Yes, make us some
popcorn. Chop chop.
Come on, Shorty, you
gotta go down there
with me tomorrow night.
Overton, man, this is
the biggest date of my life.
Now, tell me, would you rather
have a date with a princess
or hang out with your
buddy at a sweaty pool hall?
I'd go to the sweaty
pool hall but..
That's just me.
Okay, who's done what to whom?
Overton just got hustled out
of $200 down at Tug's pool hall.
‐ I didn't get hustled.
‐ Yes, you did.
This couple just
pretended they weren't good
until the stakes got really high
and then they became
much better players.
Overton, I hate to say it, but
you should have known better
than to play
strangers for money.
And in the future if you
hate to say something..
Feel free to just
keep it to yourself.
Maybe you should have
kept little money to yourself.
Any way, where is
my little pumpkin pie?
I need her joker like smile.
I need that to heal my wounds.
She's staying late
at drama class.
Takes a little extra time
to get out of character.
Well, truth be told.
I won't find any confidence
till I go back down
and beat those two
at their own game.
Uh‐huh. You know,
Obi, if it's two hustlers
you're gonna need a partner.
Yep.
That would be nice but
old King Turd over there
has official business.
I could go with you.
I was pretty handy with a
pool cue back in the day.
Mmm‐hmm. That's how she
paid for all my groceries in college.
Hmm, hell, this should
be easy. I only need $200.
Guess your flim‐flam
friends aren't gonna show.
Might have to just chalk
this one out to experience.
Shame on you, Khadijah.
Whole path wings we
mortals dare not touch.
You're right. What
was I thinking?
Overton, we might have to
just run this game another night.
Psst! Turtle doves
in a pear tree.
‐ What? ‐ It's them
right over there.
Oh, well then, places.
Hey, Overton, wasn't
last night somethin'?
Marlo and I still can't
believe how lucky we got.
Yeah, well, uh, I rather
not talk about that right now.
I just brought my girlfriend
Khadijah down here
to teach how to play pool.
Isn't that right, honey?
‐ I don't like this part.
‐ Shh, baby sister.
New to the game, huh?
Well, you know, we might be
able to show you a few things.
Yeah, Overton, what do you
say we just play a friendly game?
It'll be a good way
for your girl to learn.
Well, uh, okay, but no wagering.
Oh, betting? This
sounds like fun.
Oh, it's a blast.
You'll love it.
Oh, sweetie, could we?
Well, alright.
Well, how much would
you like to bet, Khadijah?
A dollar or maybe two?
Well, all I have is this wad
of twenties. Is that okay?
So, uh, Your Highness‐‐.
Oh, please, call me Hellura.
Are you sure?
I command you.
Okay. Um, well,
this‐this is cozy.
Just me, you and..
Your bodyguards too.
Let's just pretend
he's not here.
It might be easier
if he didn't have
that oozy shape
lump under his jacket.
Shall I taste your soup
for you to make
sure it isn't poisoned?
Oh, no, no. Special agent Nators
already done
that in the kitchen.
Whoa‐Whoa‐Whoa! So, how
do we know that my soup is okay?
Well, why would anyone
want to poison your soup, Kyle?
They might've thought
that it was yours.
I‐I mean not to say that
your soup should be poisoned
but they might have..
You know, um..
I'm really not all
that hungry after all.
Your Highness, uh, the
Prince in exile from Waimi.
He's on a phone for you.
He's not in exile.
I think that's what he
wants to talk to you about.
Would you excuse me, please?
She's moving.
Man!
This is nerve wrackin'.
I suppose most men are
jittery around the princess?
Oh, actually, Her
Highness usually dates
uh, royalty and diplomats.
They're a lot calmer than you.
I just‐I just need to
relax. That's all. That's all.
When she comes
back, you're gonna see
an entirely different person.
Prepare yourself
for the Barker magic.
Why don't you just, uh,
suggest that the soup
maybe poisoned again.
She doesn't get enough of that.
Thank you.
Don't tell me you smelled
the cheese and crackers
from across the street.
No. Actually I saw
them from my window.
Well, did you see the
limo that picked Kyle up
for his date with the princess?
I don't care about Kyle.
Was it a stretch limo?
Hmm, were flags on the hood.
But you should have
seen the female attendants
that dressed the
brother in silks
and carried him out
on their shoulders.
Princess, my ass.
She probably can't even
get anybody executed.
Oh, no, she's the real thing.
In fact, she and
Kyle are mentioned
in the society
section of the paper.
Get out of here.
Oh, get a life and
some fresh crackers.
Hey, I'm not the
pathetic peeping Tom
who was watching my
grapes from across the street.
'Cause there's nothing
to do around here.
Everybody's out playing
pool or dating royalty but me.
I'm going to Jersey
to get me a tattoo.
What?
I'm going to Jersey to
get a leopard on my leg
or a panther on my back or
tiger on my... whatever it is.
It won't wash off.
‐ You're serious. ‐ Yes.
Well, you know, I've never
seen anybody get a tattoo before.
Can I come?
Well, I don't know,
little Ray‐Ray.
It's kind of bloody.
I don't know if
you can handle it.
Well, please. Seeing
someone torture you
with a needle will be a treat.
Well, then this is
your lucky night.
Maybe I'll get
something pierced.
Like your e‐ears.
Lower.
Let's go!
Alright, Khadijah. You've
got all the stripy ones in.
Way to pool.
Hold up now. You
see, this is the eight ball.
You're gonna have to
pick out which pockets
you wanted it to go into..
Sugar plum.
Okay, sugar eyes.
Gosh, this is harder
than choosing a movie.
That one!
You mean that's it?
‐ You mean we
win? ‐ That's right.
Oh, this is the best streak of
beginners luck I've ever had.
Yeah.
Yeah, you really
took to the game.
Mmm‐hmm. I got to
give you your props.
Yeah. Well, uh, we
don't need your props.
The 200 would do
just nicely. Bye‐bye.
Come on, Overton, I
am on a streak, man.
Wh‐What do you say we
go bet on some ponies?
Hey, people, what'd you
say you test your luck again?
Double or nothin'.
Double or nothin', huh?
Four hundred dollars,
that's a lotta money.
Alright, girl, you're on.
Hey, come on, Khadijah, you
won my money back, let's split.
But I'm hot, I
tell you, I'm hot.
Obie, she has
that look in her eye
it's the same look
she had in Atlantic City
when she lost everything.
She almost sold Max's
car, with Max still in it.
That's it, I'm getting
you out of here.
Look, Phil, Marlo,
it's been fun, gotta go.
Wow, just when I was gonna
suggest we play for $500..
Five hundred dollars.
That's a lotta money.
Rack 'em!
Khadijah, Khadijah no,
that's Flavor's petty cash.
No, it's not..
It's the rent money.
Now, rack 'em!
Hey, escort, could
you just move over
so I can get just the
princess here, please?
Picture this, my
friend, you're leavin'.
Excuse me, may I
have your autographs?
Most certainly.
Who are you?
Well, I'm the Princess, Hellura.
Great, and you?
Kyle Barker, funds manager.
Thank you.
You can keep that.
Alright, my little pen
pal, you're leaving.
‐ Okay, alone at last. ‐ Yes.
Your Highness, Brian Plow,
National Sun, one question..
Lesbian, yes or no?
I'll take that as a yes.
Yeah!
As fast as you
caught on to the game
I still think I should
explain this part.
You see, as soon
as I get this eight ball
into this corner pocket.
You lose $500.
Understand?
Just shoot.
That's alright,
honey, you set me up.
You want daddy to
bring it home, don't you?
Alright, now just uh take
your time now, tiger lily.
All you gotta do now
is sink these five balls
in a row, without missing.
Oh!
Oh!
You okay, Khadijah?
Ow! I think I sprained my wrist.
Hey, what's with spillin'
the soda on the floor?
Don't even try it. I was
sippin' through a straw.
Well, how'd you like to
take your meals that way?
Whoa! Just a minute.
As much as I'd
love a good cat fight
you need to take your
shot or forfeit the game.
Oh, well, how am I
supposed to play like this?
Oh, not very well.
I'll tell you what, lemme
just take the shot for you.
Oh, no‐no‐no‐no‐no.
This is mixed doubles..
Boy‐girl, boy‐girl.
I can call a woman, I
can call my friend Maxine.
Yeah, Maxine lives
right around the corner
‐ I'll go call her. ‐
No‐no‐no‐no‐no‐no.
You don't really think..
We gonna let you
call in your ringer?
Now you want another
woman, I'll pick one... her.
Huh?
Why would a woman who
thinks of a one night stand
as a long term
commitment do something
this permanent to herself?
It's creative expression.
Lets the world know who I am.
Exactly how much of the world
do you expect to see this tattoo?
That's it, right there.
That panther.
It's sleek, it's black, it's
poised, ready to attack.
Why don't you get a heart, huh?
Or, or a rose, you know..
Something a little
more feminine.
You're right, Regine.
How about a big old uterus,
right here on my shoulder?
Is that feminine enough for you?
Okay, I'm ready for you.
‐ Oh ho! ‐ Good luck, Max.
Whoo! Chill out!
It's a tattoo, not a C‐section.
You know it's too bad they
didn't have the lamb kebabs
they're really quite good.
The lamb is a sacred
animal in my country.
I've had one as a pet
ever since I was three.
Oh.
Um, yeah, would you excuse
me for a moment, please?
Hey, hey, hey,
where are you going?
To the restroom, if that's okay?
He's moving.
Marvin, take Mr. Barker
here to the restroom.
Oh, come on, I really don't
think that'll be necessary.
I'm afraid it is.
We have to have
total surveillance
while you are with the princess.
Perhaps we should get our
check and call this an evening.
Something's wrong?
Well, yes.
I mean, this evening
has been a disaster.
When I'm not being
frisked or photographed
I'm saying something stupid.
And I'm sorry, but I've
been going to the bathroom
all my life and I have
yet to take a buddy.
Do you think I like being
surrounded by bodyguards
24 hours a day?
Sleeping in a drafty palace
fleeing the country
every time there is a coup.
I suppose not.
I wanna do things
regular people do.
Go to the malt
shop, cruise the strip
or have a burger at Arnold's.
Wait, wait, wait, let me guess..
They show Happy
Days in your country.
And Grease too..
But that's not enough.
It's really too bad this
didn't work out, Kyle.
I was really
starting to like you.
‐ You were? ‐ Yes.
You see, all I ever
meet a dignitary
is who are so afraid
of being assassinated
that they never want
to get close to anyone.
Kyle, would you like
it, if I got rid of everyone
and it were just you and I
for the rest of the evening?
I'd love that.
I can't do it.
But isn't it wonderful,
just thinking about it?
'Come on, Kyle.'
Stay, and we'll rock
around the clock.
No, no, wait! No, no.
I pick Mary Tyler Poppins
and that's who were going with.
Hey, now, hey, hey!
Come on, Khadijah,
I can't do any worse
than you with a bum wrist.
Sinclair, you almost put your
eyes out when we played Jacks.
Enough stalling.
Now you got two choices,
we take the money now
or she can take your turn
and we'll take the money then.
Okay, Sinclair.
Give it your best shot.
They're all just so pretty, I
don't know which one to hit.
Whoa!
‐ That's right,
that's right. ‐ Right!
Well done, missy.
Excuse me, you might
wanna back it up, honey.
‐ Yeah! ‐ Yes, baby.
Uh, eighth ball...
corner pocket.
That's it? No trick shot?
Well, I wasn't gonna
showboat but since you ask.
Yes!
Yeah, cool cash,
keeps the swelling down.
I guess this teaches you that
deceit and duplicity don't pay.
Although, in this case,
they did pay for us.
Whoo!
Oh yeah, and by the way.
She's not really my sister.
You know, even though
we got off to a rocky start
I really had a great
time this evening.
I hope we can get together
again soon. Goodnight.
I'll pass your thoughts
on to the princess.
She really enjoyed
herself, I know I did.
Steve, one question..
Now, suppose I would have tried
to put a move on the princess‐‐
I'd have broken your
back in three places.
S, I made the right choice?
‐ Hoo hoo. ‐ Whoo.
'Woo‐hoo!'
those books I asked you for?
‐ Yeah, they're
right here. ‐ Oh, cool.
Kyle, you're reading.
What sort of mischief has
Curious George gotten into now?
For your information, Magpie..
I have a date with
one of my investors.
The princess of Saun‐Hwi. Oh‐ho.
And I'm reading up
on all the protocol
for dating a woman of class..
Because Lord knows
I've made some mistakes.
Well, don't think
of it as a mistake.
Think of it the
way I do. I don't!
Regine, these books
are not on royalty.
'Yes, they are.'
You got Queeny, the Prince
of tides and the Fisher King.
You know, Kyle, I was thinking
an interview with
an African princess
will make a great
featureful flavor.
Maybe I can interview
before you go on your date.
Uh, sorry, that
won't be possible.
Ashamed to introduce her
to your common friends?
Well, there is that.
And the fact that I don't
know where she's staying.
For security reasons her
motorcade will be picking me up.
Kyle, you know here in America
when we don't wanna
be bothered with a guy
we gives him the wrong number.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh in a 90's kinda of
world I'm glad I've got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whatever this life gets
up you got fight with ♪
♪ My homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue and
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ahh‐hh ♪
I don't know where it went.
Quick, Khadijah, help
us find the remote control
it's premier night for
the seventh network
and we need to tape it.
Well, why don't you just
press record on the VCR?
Oh, yeah and then we could
start churning our own butter too.
Now, is there anything
else I can do for you?
Yes, make us some
popcorn. Chop chop.
Come on, Shorty, you
gotta go down there
with me tomorrow night.
Overton, man, this is
the biggest date of my life.
Now, tell me, would you rather
have a date with a princess
or hang out with your
buddy at a sweaty pool hall?
I'd go to the sweaty
pool hall but..
That's just me.
Okay, who's done what to whom?
Overton just got hustled out
of $200 down at Tug's pool hall.
‐ I didn't get hustled.
‐ Yes, you did.
This couple just
pretended they weren't good
until the stakes got really high
and then they became
much better players.
Overton, I hate to say it, but
you should have known better
than to play
strangers for money.
And in the future if you
hate to say something..
Feel free to just
keep it to yourself.
Maybe you should have
kept little money to yourself.
Any way, where is
my little pumpkin pie?
I need her joker like smile.
I need that to heal my wounds.
She's staying late
at drama class.
Takes a little extra time
to get out of character.
Well, truth be told.
I won't find any confidence
till I go back down
and beat those two
at their own game.
Uh‐huh. You know,
Obi, if it's two hustlers
you're gonna need a partner.
Yep.
That would be nice but
old King Turd over there
has official business.
I could go with you.
I was pretty handy with a
pool cue back in the day.
Mmm‐hmm. That's how she
paid for all my groceries in college.
Hmm, hell, this should
be easy. I only need $200.
Guess your flim‐flam
friends aren't gonna show.
Might have to just chalk
this one out to experience.
Shame on you, Khadijah.
Whole path wings we
mortals dare not touch.
You're right. What
was I thinking?
Overton, we might have to
just run this game another night.
Psst! Turtle doves
in a pear tree.
‐ What? ‐ It's them
right over there.
Oh, well then, places.
Hey, Overton, wasn't
last night somethin'?
Marlo and I still can't
believe how lucky we got.
Yeah, well, uh, I rather
not talk about that right now.
I just brought my girlfriend
Khadijah down here
to teach how to play pool.
Isn't that right, honey?
‐ I don't like this part.
‐ Shh, baby sister.
New to the game, huh?
Well, you know, we might be
able to show you a few things.
Yeah, Overton, what do you
say we just play a friendly game?
It'll be a good way
for your girl to learn.
Well, uh, okay, but no wagering.
Oh, betting? This
sounds like fun.
Oh, it's a blast.
You'll love it.
Oh, sweetie, could we?
Well, alright.
Well, how much would
you like to bet, Khadijah?
A dollar or maybe two?
Well, all I have is this wad
of twenties. Is that okay?
So, uh, Your Highness‐‐.
Oh, please, call me Hellura.
Are you sure?
I command you.
Okay. Um, well,
this‐this is cozy.
Just me, you and..
Your bodyguards too.
Let's just pretend
he's not here.
It might be easier
if he didn't have
that oozy shape
lump under his jacket.
Shall I taste your soup
for you to make
sure it isn't poisoned?
Oh, no, no. Special agent Nators
already done
that in the kitchen.
Whoa‐Whoa‐Whoa! So, how
do we know that my soup is okay?
Well, why would anyone
want to poison your soup, Kyle?
They might've thought
that it was yours.
I‐I mean not to say that
your soup should be poisoned
but they might have..
You know, um..
I'm really not all
that hungry after all.
Your Highness, uh, the
Prince in exile from Waimi.
He's on a phone for you.
He's not in exile.
I think that's what he
wants to talk to you about.
Would you excuse me, please?
She's moving.
Man!
This is nerve wrackin'.
I suppose most men are
jittery around the princess?
Oh, actually, Her
Highness usually dates
uh, royalty and diplomats.
They're a lot calmer than you.
I just‐I just need to
relax. That's all. That's all.
When she comes
back, you're gonna see
an entirely different person.
Prepare yourself
for the Barker magic.
Why don't you just, uh,
suggest that the soup
maybe poisoned again.
She doesn't get enough of that.
Thank you.
Don't tell me you smelled
the cheese and crackers
from across the street.
No. Actually I saw
them from my window.
Well, did you see the
limo that picked Kyle up
for his date with the princess?
I don't care about Kyle.
Was it a stretch limo?
Hmm, were flags on the hood.
But you should have
seen the female attendants
that dressed the
brother in silks
and carried him out
on their shoulders.
Princess, my ass.
She probably can't even
get anybody executed.
Oh, no, she's the real thing.
In fact, she and
Kyle are mentioned
in the society
section of the paper.
Get out of here.
Oh, get a life and
some fresh crackers.
Hey, I'm not the
pathetic peeping Tom
who was watching my
grapes from across the street.
'Cause there's nothing
to do around here.
Everybody's out playing
pool or dating royalty but me.
I'm going to Jersey
to get me a tattoo.
What?
I'm going to Jersey to
get a leopard on my leg
or a panther on my back or
tiger on my... whatever it is.
It won't wash off.
‐ You're serious. ‐ Yes.
Well, you know, I've never
seen anybody get a tattoo before.
Can I come?
Well, I don't know,
little Ray‐Ray.
It's kind of bloody.
I don't know if
you can handle it.
Well, please. Seeing
someone torture you
with a needle will be a treat.
Well, then this is
your lucky night.
Maybe I'll get
something pierced.
Like your e‐ears.
Lower.
Let's go!
Alright, Khadijah. You've
got all the stripy ones in.
Way to pool.
Hold up now. You
see, this is the eight ball.
You're gonna have to
pick out which pockets
you wanted it to go into..
Sugar plum.
Okay, sugar eyes.
Gosh, this is harder
than choosing a movie.
That one!
You mean that's it?
‐ You mean we
win? ‐ That's right.
Oh, this is the best streak of
beginners luck I've ever had.
Yeah.
Yeah, you really
took to the game.
Mmm‐hmm. I got to
give you your props.
Yeah. Well, uh, we
don't need your props.
The 200 would do
just nicely. Bye‐bye.
Come on, Overton, I
am on a streak, man.
Wh‐What do you say we
go bet on some ponies?
Hey, people, what'd you
say you test your luck again?
Double or nothin'.
Double or nothin', huh?
Four hundred dollars,
that's a lotta money.
Alright, girl, you're on.
Hey, come on, Khadijah, you
won my money back, let's split.
But I'm hot, I
tell you, I'm hot.
Obie, she has
that look in her eye
it's the same look
she had in Atlantic City
when she lost everything.
She almost sold Max's
car, with Max still in it.
That's it, I'm getting
you out of here.
Look, Phil, Marlo,
it's been fun, gotta go.
Wow, just when I was gonna
suggest we play for $500..
Five hundred dollars.
That's a lotta money.
Rack 'em!
Khadijah, Khadijah no,
that's Flavor's petty cash.
No, it's not..
It's the rent money.
Now, rack 'em!
Hey, escort, could
you just move over
so I can get just the
princess here, please?
Picture this, my
friend, you're leavin'.
Excuse me, may I
have your autographs?
Most certainly.
Who are you?
Well, I'm the Princess, Hellura.
Great, and you?
Kyle Barker, funds manager.
Thank you.
You can keep that.
Alright, my little pen
pal, you're leaving.
‐ Okay, alone at last. ‐ Yes.
Your Highness, Brian Plow,
National Sun, one question..
Lesbian, yes or no?
I'll take that as a yes.
Yeah!
As fast as you
caught on to the game
I still think I should
explain this part.
You see, as soon
as I get this eight ball
into this corner pocket.
You lose $500.
Understand?
Just shoot.
That's alright,
honey, you set me up.
You want daddy to
bring it home, don't you?
Alright, now just uh take
your time now, tiger lily.
All you gotta do now
is sink these five balls
in a row, without missing.
Oh!
Oh!
You okay, Khadijah?
Ow! I think I sprained my wrist.
Hey, what's with spillin'
the soda on the floor?
Don't even try it. I was
sippin' through a straw.
Well, how'd you like to
take your meals that way?
Whoa! Just a minute.
As much as I'd
love a good cat fight
you need to take your
shot or forfeit the game.
Oh, well, how am I
supposed to play like this?
Oh, not very well.
I'll tell you what, lemme
just take the shot for you.
Oh, no‐no‐no‐no‐no.
This is mixed doubles..
Boy‐girl, boy‐girl.
I can call a woman, I
can call my friend Maxine.
Yeah, Maxine lives
right around the corner
‐ I'll go call her. ‐
No‐no‐no‐no‐no‐no.
You don't really think..
We gonna let you
call in your ringer?
Now you want another
woman, I'll pick one... her.
Huh?
Why would a woman who
thinks of a one night stand
as a long term
commitment do something
this permanent to herself?
It's creative expression.
Lets the world know who I am.
Exactly how much of the world
do you expect to see this tattoo?
That's it, right there.
That panther.
It's sleek, it's black, it's
poised, ready to attack.
Why don't you get a heart, huh?
Or, or a rose, you know..
Something a little
more feminine.
You're right, Regine.
How about a big old uterus,
right here on my shoulder?
Is that feminine enough for you?
Okay, I'm ready for you.
‐ Oh ho! ‐ Good luck, Max.
Whoo! Chill out!
It's a tattoo, not a C‐section.
You know it's too bad they
didn't have the lamb kebabs
they're really quite good.
The lamb is a sacred
animal in my country.
I've had one as a pet
ever since I was three.
Oh.
Um, yeah, would you excuse
me for a moment, please?
Hey, hey, hey,
where are you going?
To the restroom, if that's okay?
He's moving.
Marvin, take Mr. Barker
here to the restroom.
Oh, come on, I really don't
think that'll be necessary.
I'm afraid it is.
We have to have
total surveillance
while you are with the princess.
Perhaps we should get our
check and call this an evening.
Something's wrong?
Well, yes.
I mean, this evening
has been a disaster.
When I'm not being
frisked or photographed
I'm saying something stupid.
And I'm sorry, but I've
been going to the bathroom
all my life and I have
yet to take a buddy.
Do you think I like being
surrounded by bodyguards
24 hours a day?
Sleeping in a drafty palace
fleeing the country
every time there is a coup.
I suppose not.
I wanna do things
regular people do.
Go to the malt
shop, cruise the strip
or have a burger at Arnold's.
Wait, wait, wait, let me guess..
They show Happy
Days in your country.
And Grease too..
But that's not enough.
It's really too bad this
didn't work out, Kyle.
I was really
starting to like you.
‐ You were? ‐ Yes.
You see, all I ever
meet a dignitary
is who are so afraid
of being assassinated
that they never want
to get close to anyone.
Kyle, would you like
it, if I got rid of everyone
and it were just you and I
for the rest of the evening?
I'd love that.
I can't do it.
But isn't it wonderful,
just thinking about it?
'Come on, Kyle.'
Stay, and we'll rock
around the clock.
No, no, wait! No, no.
I pick Mary Tyler Poppins
and that's who were going with.
Hey, now, hey, hey!
Come on, Khadijah,
I can't do any worse
than you with a bum wrist.
Sinclair, you almost put your
eyes out when we played Jacks.
Enough stalling.
Now you got two choices,
we take the money now
or she can take your turn
and we'll take the money then.
Okay, Sinclair.
Give it your best shot.
They're all just so pretty, I
don't know which one to hit.
Whoa!
‐ That's right,
that's right. ‐ Right!
Well done, missy.
Excuse me, you might
wanna back it up, honey.
‐ Yeah! ‐ Yes, baby.
Uh, eighth ball...
corner pocket.
That's it? No trick shot?
Well, I wasn't gonna
showboat but since you ask.
Yes!
Yeah, cool cash,
keeps the swelling down.
I guess this teaches you that
deceit and duplicity don't pay.
Although, in this case,
they did pay for us.
Whoo!
Oh yeah, and by the way.
She's not really my sister.
You know, even though
we got off to a rocky start
I really had a great
time this evening.
I hope we can get together
again soon. Goodnight.
I'll pass your thoughts
on to the princess.
She really enjoyed
herself, I know I did.
Steve, one question..
Now, suppose I would have tried
to put a move on the princess‐‐
I'd have broken your
back in three places.
S, I made the right choice?
‐ Hoo hoo. ‐ Whoo.
'Woo‐hoo!'