Living Single (1993–1998): Season 2, Episode 21 - Space Invaders - full transcript
♪ Obie in the bath tub ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ A lot of things to do ♪
Come on, Overton,
man, tub time is over.
I'm sure you have washed places
even you didn't know you had.
Oh, hold tight, shorty.
Mr. Bubble and I got
some unfinished business.
Oh, Overton, the nature's
callin' on the private line.
Oh, Kyle, you
know what they say.
Cleanliness is
next to Godliness.
Right now, I'm tryin' to get
much closer to the man upstairs.
Yeah. But you know what?
Right now the man out here
is tryin' to get closer
to some porcelain.
You know, Obie..
Maybe we should get out now.
‐ I mean, we are
pretty clean. ‐ Yeah.
But now is time to get..
A little dirty.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh and in a
90's kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up what ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home girl
standin' to my left ♪
♪ And my right true blue ♪
♪ It's tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ No free position ♪
♪ Ha‐a‐a ♪
Oh! Oh, Khadijah, look.
Look at that face on that doll.
It's so lifelike! It
almost looks real.
No! That's Marie Osmond.
Her dolls are over here.
Hey, hey! Uh, can I
use your bathroom?
Go ahead, Kyle. "Tootsee Roll."
Hey, people. Here's your video.
Max, you were
suppose to return this
to the video store two days ago.
Yes, but according
to their record
you were suppose to
return this two days ago.
'Adios.'
And what are you
doing here, Chewbacca?
Hey, Khadijah told me she
taught a doggy how to talk.
‐ I am impressed!
Yes. ‐ Heh‐heh.
Kyle, can you give these
phone messages to Synclaire?
Tell her, her mother called
her friend Sophia called.
And Overton called because
he knows how much she loves
receiving phone messages.
Well, how delightful. I'm
her connoisseur now, huh?
No, dear, connoisseurs
don't handle messages.
You're her phone boy.
Oh, "Speed." You know, this'll
be great for my day tonight.
‐ You mind if I
borrow it? ‐ Sure.
As long as you return
and pay the late fees.
Hey, no problem.
You know, um,
this movie inspired
one of my greatest
come on lines.
You know, if we slow down..
We may explode.
Hey, Kyle, can you help us
build our Barbarian castle?
Maybe you can even put a
hutch back in the bell tower.
It is my fondest desire.
But some dreams are
better left unfulfilled.
And, Synclaire,
these are for you.
Oh.
Oh, Obie, you called.
What a shame, you couldn't
have been there for that one.
Oh, Kyle, are‐are you
going in the kitchen?
I thought I might.
Oh, please, don't open
the oven or the refrigerator.
I'm gonna kick myself, but why?
Because Obie's socks
are warming in the oven.
And I have pudding
parfaits chilling in the fridge.
Don't want the skin
to break, you know.
My woman knows how to pamper me.
You know, I'm just
gonna go lay down.
And unless, of course, you
have something warming
or chilling in my bedroom?
Oh, no, no, no!
But you do want us to
wake you for Jazzercise?
It would behoove you not to.
Hey, Khadijah, listen to this.
"His luxurious lux
brushed across my bosom
"as we embraced and
fell into the haystack.
"The combination of his cologne
sweat and straw intoxicated me."
My goodness! How does
Synclaire read this trash?
It's mine.
‐ What you're looking
for? ‐ The tape, the tape.
The "Speed" tape. I put
the wrong video in the box.
So?
So let's just say..
That the one missing
is very special.
Aah!
Home‐made.
Wait, wait, wait! Incriminating?
There's a whole lotta
freaky‐sneaky going on.
Ahh!
Max, tell us in complete detail
what has finally
caught up with you?
A bridal shower last month.
A certain stripper by the
name of Officer Goodbody
was also in attendance.
He asked for volunteers
and you know how I feel
about civic duty, I..
And you taped it?
If I taped it, I wouldn't
be in it. Come on!
Where is it?
‐ The tape‐‐ ‐
Khadijah, please. Let me.
Please!
Kyle has it.
Kyle, who?
Your Kyle.
Oh, come on!
Wait, Max, Max, Max!
Now, I'm sure if he'd seen it,
you would've heard it by now.
Look, if you'd like, I'll go
up there and ask him‐‐.
No! Khadijah, don't do
that, don't do like that!
Stop! Come on, now.
This is serious.
Okay.
Okay, okay, let's ask
Synclaire to get it for us.
Oh, sure, yeah, right, she'd
just go up to Kyle and say
hey, can I have that dirty
Max tape? Oops, sorry!
Well, I guess we just
gonna have to go up there
and... sneak in,
when he's not around.
Now, Khadijah, you can't
just walk in the Kyle's place
and take things.
You're right.
I'm gonna need some equipment.
A 30 foot rope..
Grappling hook..
And sand paper.
You've done this
before, haven't you?
If I told you..
I'd have to kill you.
There you are.
Oh, Synclaire, w‐why are all
these chocolates half eaten?
'Cause they all
had nasty middles.
I bought those for my date.
Uh, I'm sorry, Kyle. Oh.
Uh, when I've read the note,
"To pollen bee, from buttercup"
I naturally assumed
they were for me.
You know, Synclaire, I have
a bunch of rose in refrigerator.
You could, uh, cut
the heads off of those?
Man, why should you do
that over my oatmeal soap?
And‐and‐and what's with
the garden hose, what?
I am filling up my
new water bed.
I thought we agreed,
no aquatic furniture.
Well, see, Synclaire
likes the waves.
And until I can afford
to take her on a cruise
this is gonna have to do.
Oh, Obie, let me.
Yeah, take 'em.
‐ I found a new spot. ‐ Ooh.
Oh, my God!
I can't take this. "Ooh,
I found a new spot."
Cheddar?
Excuse me!
Why does my Surge
Xpress smell like cheese?
Well, I‐I did make a grill
cheese sandwich with it.
Y‐you made food with my iron?
Sorry, dawg, but
the‐the combination
of heat and steam
adds the moistness
you just can't get
with the skillet.
But this is disgust..
Okay, look, I thought
you all going somewhere.
‐ How long you gonna
be in here? ‐ Oh, yes.
As soon as she gets
finished pattin' me down
with the lid brush, we're..
Oh, oh, you got that.
Yeah.
Well, I feel like
I'm in the way.
So maybe I'll leave.
You see what I'm sayin'?
‐ This plan won't
work. ‐ And why not?
'Cause we don't
own a helicopter.
Okay, plan E.
We'll take the roof,
shimmy down the fire escape
and go in through the window.
Oh, no, y'all, this
sounds like a job
you hire some one else to do.
You seem to forget.
I'm the woman who stole
Reddick High's mascot.
The screamin' chinchilla.
Please, of course, I remember.
I still have the scars
from that rodent attack.
Nobody told you
to try or wear it.
Who cares, we gotta get
up there and get that tape
before anybody gets home.
Yeah. Now, Regine,
you said you'll help.
So you'd be lookout.
Oh, there's no
glamour in lookout!
Fine. You shimmy
down the dirty fire escape.
Climb through the
filthy window‐‐.
Alright! Alright.
Alright, fine. I'll
be the lookout.
And if I get caught
I'm rattin' out this
whole operation, si?
Now, I'm gonna pry
open the window.
Max, you slip in,
retrieve the tape
and then we'll come
back down here.
And look at it.
Okay, let's do this!
Ready!
‐ Let's go. Let's
go! ‐ Let's go, go!
Let's go!
Okay. Okay, go on.
‐ All clear. ‐ Alright. Okay.
Now, go in there
and go get that tape!
You go in there
and get the tape.
No, you go get it.
Come on, our plan
was that you go in there.
No, I don't remember that.
You will get there..
Oh.
Khadijah, that's him.
Ooh. Grr.
Kyle?
Hello, there. I'm Synclaire.
Christina.
Um, it's my
roommate's girlfriend.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I've interrupted.
Listen, can I get you something?
Pudding parfait?
Tall tangy glass
of tomato juice?
Maybe I'll come back when
you have the place to yourself.
No! No, no, wait. I‐I've
rented "Speed" and everything.
You know, it's 90
minutes of heart stop
and pounding action!
Damn!
Kyle, I love that movie.
Come on, let's watch.
Do you realize..
What you have just done?
I have feelings for that woman
and I was hoping that she
would return them tonight.
Synclaire, what are
you doing on the cou..
Where's Overton?
He went to buy me a
snore‐no‐more pillow.
Synclaire, I was down at
your apartment the other day.
And it occurred to me,
something was missing, you.
I'm sorry. I've ruined
your date, Kyle.
No! No, no, no, no, no. It is
not just the date, Synclaire.
It is the socks in the oven.
It is the Jazzercise,
during my naps.
I cannot use my kitchen.
I can't use my bathroom.
I can't watch my TV.
And you cheesed my iron!
Now, go!
Okay, Kyle, I'll go.
But you never did give
Jazzercise a chance
you know that.
Listen, when Obie comes back
could you tell him that
his drill bits are in the sink?
Also, there's some orange
juice pops in the freezer.
You might wanna
go get yourself one.
Soothing for your throat. Yeah.
Hey, Kyle.
‐ Where's Synclaire?
‐ She had to go.
Why?
Because I told her to.
You did what?
Man, she busted
up my date, alright?
She's here all the time
so I told her to take
her behind home.
Oh! You did, did you?
Yes, I did. She
does not live here.
Well, I do, and
she is my girlfriend.
Well, your girlfriend
is getting on my nerve.
Alright, bro, set it off.
‐ Come on. ‐ Oh, what‐what..
What‐what're you gonna do?
Can we help you?
Um, um, we‐we heard a commotion.
Right? So... so..
So we ran upstairs and
we scurried across the roof.
And we came down
the fire escape..
To see if y'all was okay.
Uh‐huh?
Uh, have you seen Synclaire?
We haven't seen her
since Kyle kicked her out.
She left cryin' like a baby.
Yeah, well, lucky for you. I
gotta go check on Synclaire.
No, it's lucky for you. You
need to go check on Synclaire.
Yeah.
‐ Good looking out,
Regine. ‐ Uh‐uh, uh‐uh.
I was lookin' out.
I flashed my light to
the East three times.
That was the signal for plan C!
I can't believe we
didn't get that tape!
I can't believe I broke up
my grappling hook for nothing!
I heard what happened,
sweet pea, and Kyle apologized
from the bottom of his
selfish unfeelin' heart.
‐ He apologized? ‐ Oh, he will.
As soon as I go upstairs
and put him in the Half Nelson.
That's very sweet, Obie,
but in his own rude way
Kyle has a point.
Excuse, eh?
Kyle's right.
Maybe I've been up
there a little too much.
I mean, I know what it's
like when someone overstays
their welcome, I
mean, look at Max, uff.
I don't know, but
see, you're my girl.
Max is a vagrant.
I'm not going to let Kyle
dictate our every move.
I mean, who does he
think he is, Geppetto?
Dance, puppet, dance!
Obie.
I know when you
start quoting Pinocchio
you're not feeling
so good about this..
I'm gonna go upstairs
and straighten all of this out
and maybe iron
myself some bakin'.
Property of O. W. Jones.
Mine.
Mine!
Mine!
Overton, what are you doing?
Markin' my territory.
Well, since when is this
ashtray become your territory?
Since, I reglazed it.
‐ But there's more. ‐ Oh, yeah?
That side of the room
over there, that's yours.
This back and
through here, mine.
And all this area, all
up and through here
that's just neutral territory.
And I'm gonna throw in
this little area as a bone.
Seeing as though it wasn't
built for man of my ...statue.
You‐you‐you tripping, man.
No, you're trippin', you
kicked Synclaire out of here.
Man, you have women comin'
in this apartment all the time.
I won't say a word.
I mean, you treat
this place like
your own little sexual
"Romper Room."
Overton, my dates
come, we play, they go.
They do not move in.
Oh, I see what the problem is.
You're just jealous
'cause I got a
steady relationship.
Yeah, right, I'm jealous of you
sleeping with the same woman
night‐after‐night.
Whoo, why couldn't I'd be
more like Overton, hmm?
'Cause you're
selfish, pig‐headed
womanizer and sex‐freak!
And you are just whipped!
‐ Oh, yeah? ‐ 'Yeah.'
Well, I don't like the
kind of groceries you buy.
I mean, what kind of brother
sippin' on wine coolers?
Well, excuse me, I'm sorry
if I'm not throwing back.
Yoo‐hoos at every given moment.
Man, what's up
with all this water?
Oh.
Ooh, my!
‐ Oh, my God! ‐ Well,
do somethin', man.
Come on, man, we gotta get
this thing up out of here, man.
Man, you must be crazy.
This thing will weigh a ton.
Hey, look, you wanna
lift a ton of water
or you wanna swim
in a ton of water?
Grab that end.
Oh, man!
‐ Man, are you ready?
‐ Let's go, come on.
A one.
A two.
A three!
‐ Uh. ‐ Aah! Uh.
This is good.
Uh.
Whose bright idea was it to
get a water bed in the first place?
‐ Synclaire's. ‐ Oh!
Kinda ironic, huh?
With all this water, y'all
could take a bath in here.
Maybe I can get in
the bathroom now.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Oh.
I guess now is a
good time to say
that I'm kinda sorry that
Synclaire and I took over
your apartment, shorty.
Yeah, well, I shouldn't
have thrown Synclaire out.
I should have
talked to you first.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Oh.
‐ Kyle? ‐ Yeah.
‐ Watch dog. ‐
Yeah, bow and wow.
Max, you had ample
time to find that tape.
You didn't find it.
It just wasn't there.
Well, I guess, I'm just
sittin' on a time bomb.
I don't know when?
I don't know where?
But it's just bound to
show up somewhere.
'Officer, do you have a license'
'to carry that, hmm?'
‐ This is nasty. ‐ Um..
Uh, uh, I‐I'm sorry. I‐I don't
know how this happened.
‐ I don't.. ‐ Sure, you don't.
You little devil.
'Oh‐ho‐ho, Officer Goodbody'
'arrest me, arrest me.'
Whoo‐hoo!
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ A lot of things to do ♪
Come on, Overton,
man, tub time is over.
I'm sure you have washed places
even you didn't know you had.
Oh, hold tight, shorty.
Mr. Bubble and I got
some unfinished business.
Oh, Overton, the nature's
callin' on the private line.
Oh, Kyle, you
know what they say.
Cleanliness is
next to Godliness.
Right now, I'm tryin' to get
much closer to the man upstairs.
Yeah. But you know what?
Right now the man out here
is tryin' to get closer
to some porcelain.
You know, Obie..
Maybe we should get out now.
‐ I mean, we are
pretty clean. ‐ Yeah.
But now is time to get..
A little dirty.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh and in a
90's kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up what ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home girl
standin' to my left ♪
♪ And my right true blue ♪
♪ It's tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ No free position ♪
♪ Ha‐a‐a ♪
Oh! Oh, Khadijah, look.
Look at that face on that doll.
It's so lifelike! It
almost looks real.
No! That's Marie Osmond.
Her dolls are over here.
Hey, hey! Uh, can I
use your bathroom?
Go ahead, Kyle. "Tootsee Roll."
Hey, people. Here's your video.
Max, you were
suppose to return this
to the video store two days ago.
Yes, but according
to their record
you were suppose to
return this two days ago.
'Adios.'
And what are you
doing here, Chewbacca?
Hey, Khadijah told me she
taught a doggy how to talk.
‐ I am impressed!
Yes. ‐ Heh‐heh.
Kyle, can you give these
phone messages to Synclaire?
Tell her, her mother called
her friend Sophia called.
And Overton called because
he knows how much she loves
receiving phone messages.
Well, how delightful. I'm
her connoisseur now, huh?
No, dear, connoisseurs
don't handle messages.
You're her phone boy.
Oh, "Speed." You know, this'll
be great for my day tonight.
‐ You mind if I
borrow it? ‐ Sure.
As long as you return
and pay the late fees.
Hey, no problem.
You know, um,
this movie inspired
one of my greatest
come on lines.
You know, if we slow down..
We may explode.
Hey, Kyle, can you help us
build our Barbarian castle?
Maybe you can even put a
hutch back in the bell tower.
It is my fondest desire.
But some dreams are
better left unfulfilled.
And, Synclaire,
these are for you.
Oh.
Oh, Obie, you called.
What a shame, you couldn't
have been there for that one.
Oh, Kyle, are‐are you
going in the kitchen?
I thought I might.
Oh, please, don't open
the oven or the refrigerator.
I'm gonna kick myself, but why?
Because Obie's socks
are warming in the oven.
And I have pudding
parfaits chilling in the fridge.
Don't want the skin
to break, you know.
My woman knows how to pamper me.
You know, I'm just
gonna go lay down.
And unless, of course, you
have something warming
or chilling in my bedroom?
Oh, no, no, no!
But you do want us to
wake you for Jazzercise?
It would behoove you not to.
Hey, Khadijah, listen to this.
"His luxurious lux
brushed across my bosom
"as we embraced and
fell into the haystack.
"The combination of his cologne
sweat and straw intoxicated me."
My goodness! How does
Synclaire read this trash?
It's mine.
‐ What you're looking
for? ‐ The tape, the tape.
The "Speed" tape. I put
the wrong video in the box.
So?
So let's just say..
That the one missing
is very special.
Aah!
Home‐made.
Wait, wait, wait! Incriminating?
There's a whole lotta
freaky‐sneaky going on.
Ahh!
Max, tell us in complete detail
what has finally
caught up with you?
A bridal shower last month.
A certain stripper by the
name of Officer Goodbody
was also in attendance.
He asked for volunteers
and you know how I feel
about civic duty, I..
And you taped it?
If I taped it, I wouldn't
be in it. Come on!
Where is it?
‐ The tape‐‐ ‐
Khadijah, please. Let me.
Please!
Kyle has it.
Kyle, who?
Your Kyle.
Oh, come on!
Wait, Max, Max, Max!
Now, I'm sure if he'd seen it,
you would've heard it by now.
Look, if you'd like, I'll go
up there and ask him‐‐.
No! Khadijah, don't do
that, don't do like that!
Stop! Come on, now.
This is serious.
Okay.
Okay, okay, let's ask
Synclaire to get it for us.
Oh, sure, yeah, right, she'd
just go up to Kyle and say
hey, can I have that dirty
Max tape? Oops, sorry!
Well, I guess we just
gonna have to go up there
and... sneak in,
when he's not around.
Now, Khadijah, you can't
just walk in the Kyle's place
and take things.
You're right.
I'm gonna need some equipment.
A 30 foot rope..
Grappling hook..
And sand paper.
You've done this
before, haven't you?
If I told you..
I'd have to kill you.
There you are.
Oh, Synclaire, w‐why are all
these chocolates half eaten?
'Cause they all
had nasty middles.
I bought those for my date.
Uh, I'm sorry, Kyle. Oh.
Uh, when I've read the note,
"To pollen bee, from buttercup"
I naturally assumed
they were for me.
You know, Synclaire, I have
a bunch of rose in refrigerator.
You could, uh, cut
the heads off of those?
Man, why should you do
that over my oatmeal soap?
And‐and‐and what's with
the garden hose, what?
I am filling up my
new water bed.
I thought we agreed,
no aquatic furniture.
Well, see, Synclaire
likes the waves.
And until I can afford
to take her on a cruise
this is gonna have to do.
Oh, Obie, let me.
Yeah, take 'em.
‐ I found a new spot. ‐ Ooh.
Oh, my God!
I can't take this. "Ooh,
I found a new spot."
Cheddar?
Excuse me!
Why does my Surge
Xpress smell like cheese?
Well, I‐I did make a grill
cheese sandwich with it.
Y‐you made food with my iron?
Sorry, dawg, but
the‐the combination
of heat and steam
adds the moistness
you just can't get
with the skillet.
But this is disgust..
Okay, look, I thought
you all going somewhere.
‐ How long you gonna
be in here? ‐ Oh, yes.
As soon as she gets
finished pattin' me down
with the lid brush, we're..
Oh, oh, you got that.
Yeah.
Well, I feel like
I'm in the way.
So maybe I'll leave.
You see what I'm sayin'?
‐ This plan won't
work. ‐ And why not?
'Cause we don't
own a helicopter.
Okay, plan E.
We'll take the roof,
shimmy down the fire escape
and go in through the window.
Oh, no, y'all, this
sounds like a job
you hire some one else to do.
You seem to forget.
I'm the woman who stole
Reddick High's mascot.
The screamin' chinchilla.
Please, of course, I remember.
I still have the scars
from that rodent attack.
Nobody told you
to try or wear it.
Who cares, we gotta get
up there and get that tape
before anybody gets home.
Yeah. Now, Regine,
you said you'll help.
So you'd be lookout.
Oh, there's no
glamour in lookout!
Fine. You shimmy
down the dirty fire escape.
Climb through the
filthy window‐‐.
Alright! Alright.
Alright, fine. I'll
be the lookout.
And if I get caught
I'm rattin' out this
whole operation, si?
Now, I'm gonna pry
open the window.
Max, you slip in,
retrieve the tape
and then we'll come
back down here.
And look at it.
Okay, let's do this!
Ready!
‐ Let's go. Let's
go! ‐ Let's go, go!
Let's go!
Okay. Okay, go on.
‐ All clear. ‐ Alright. Okay.
Now, go in there
and go get that tape!
You go in there
and get the tape.
No, you go get it.
Come on, our plan
was that you go in there.
No, I don't remember that.
You will get there..
Oh.
Khadijah, that's him.
Ooh. Grr.
Kyle?
Hello, there. I'm Synclaire.
Christina.
Um, it's my
roommate's girlfriend.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I've interrupted.
Listen, can I get you something?
Pudding parfait?
Tall tangy glass
of tomato juice?
Maybe I'll come back when
you have the place to yourself.
No! No, no, wait. I‐I've
rented "Speed" and everything.
You know, it's 90
minutes of heart stop
and pounding action!
Damn!
Kyle, I love that movie.
Come on, let's watch.
Do you realize..
What you have just done?
I have feelings for that woman
and I was hoping that she
would return them tonight.
Synclaire, what are
you doing on the cou..
Where's Overton?
He went to buy me a
snore‐no‐more pillow.
Synclaire, I was down at
your apartment the other day.
And it occurred to me,
something was missing, you.
I'm sorry. I've ruined
your date, Kyle.
No! No, no, no, no, no. It is
not just the date, Synclaire.
It is the socks in the oven.
It is the Jazzercise,
during my naps.
I cannot use my kitchen.
I can't use my bathroom.
I can't watch my TV.
And you cheesed my iron!
Now, go!
Okay, Kyle, I'll go.
But you never did give
Jazzercise a chance
you know that.
Listen, when Obie comes back
could you tell him that
his drill bits are in the sink?
Also, there's some orange
juice pops in the freezer.
You might wanna
go get yourself one.
Soothing for your throat. Yeah.
Hey, Kyle.
‐ Where's Synclaire?
‐ She had to go.
Why?
Because I told her to.
You did what?
Man, she busted
up my date, alright?
She's here all the time
so I told her to take
her behind home.
Oh! You did, did you?
Yes, I did. She
does not live here.
Well, I do, and
she is my girlfriend.
Well, your girlfriend
is getting on my nerve.
Alright, bro, set it off.
‐ Come on. ‐ Oh, what‐what..
What‐what're you gonna do?
Can we help you?
Um, um, we‐we heard a commotion.
Right? So... so..
So we ran upstairs and
we scurried across the roof.
And we came down
the fire escape..
To see if y'all was okay.
Uh‐huh?
Uh, have you seen Synclaire?
We haven't seen her
since Kyle kicked her out.
She left cryin' like a baby.
Yeah, well, lucky for you. I
gotta go check on Synclaire.
No, it's lucky for you. You
need to go check on Synclaire.
Yeah.
‐ Good looking out,
Regine. ‐ Uh‐uh, uh‐uh.
I was lookin' out.
I flashed my light to
the East three times.
That was the signal for plan C!
I can't believe we
didn't get that tape!
I can't believe I broke up
my grappling hook for nothing!
I heard what happened,
sweet pea, and Kyle apologized
from the bottom of his
selfish unfeelin' heart.
‐ He apologized? ‐ Oh, he will.
As soon as I go upstairs
and put him in the Half Nelson.
That's very sweet, Obie,
but in his own rude way
Kyle has a point.
Excuse, eh?
Kyle's right.
Maybe I've been up
there a little too much.
I mean, I know what it's
like when someone overstays
their welcome, I
mean, look at Max, uff.
I don't know, but
see, you're my girl.
Max is a vagrant.
I'm not going to let Kyle
dictate our every move.
I mean, who does he
think he is, Geppetto?
Dance, puppet, dance!
Obie.
I know when you
start quoting Pinocchio
you're not feeling
so good about this..
I'm gonna go upstairs
and straighten all of this out
and maybe iron
myself some bakin'.
Property of O. W. Jones.
Mine.
Mine!
Mine!
Overton, what are you doing?
Markin' my territory.
Well, since when is this
ashtray become your territory?
Since, I reglazed it.
‐ But there's more. ‐ Oh, yeah?
That side of the room
over there, that's yours.
This back and
through here, mine.
And all this area, all
up and through here
that's just neutral territory.
And I'm gonna throw in
this little area as a bone.
Seeing as though it wasn't
built for man of my ...statue.
You‐you‐you tripping, man.
No, you're trippin', you
kicked Synclaire out of here.
Man, you have women comin'
in this apartment all the time.
I won't say a word.
I mean, you treat
this place like
your own little sexual
"Romper Room."
Overton, my dates
come, we play, they go.
They do not move in.
Oh, I see what the problem is.
You're just jealous
'cause I got a
steady relationship.
Yeah, right, I'm jealous of you
sleeping with the same woman
night‐after‐night.
Whoo, why couldn't I'd be
more like Overton, hmm?
'Cause you're
selfish, pig‐headed
womanizer and sex‐freak!
And you are just whipped!
‐ Oh, yeah? ‐ 'Yeah.'
Well, I don't like the
kind of groceries you buy.
I mean, what kind of brother
sippin' on wine coolers?
Well, excuse me, I'm sorry
if I'm not throwing back.
Yoo‐hoos at every given moment.
Man, what's up
with all this water?
Oh.
Ooh, my!
‐ Oh, my God! ‐ Well,
do somethin', man.
Come on, man, we gotta get
this thing up out of here, man.
Man, you must be crazy.
This thing will weigh a ton.
Hey, look, you wanna
lift a ton of water
or you wanna swim
in a ton of water?
Grab that end.
Oh, man!
‐ Man, are you ready?
‐ Let's go, come on.
A one.
A two.
A three!
‐ Uh. ‐ Aah! Uh.
This is good.
Uh.
Whose bright idea was it to
get a water bed in the first place?
‐ Synclaire's. ‐ Oh!
Kinda ironic, huh?
With all this water, y'all
could take a bath in here.
Maybe I can get in
the bathroom now.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Oh.
I guess now is a
good time to say
that I'm kinda sorry that
Synclaire and I took over
your apartment, shorty.
Yeah, well, I shouldn't
have thrown Synclaire out.
I should have
talked to you first.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Oh.
‐ Kyle? ‐ Yeah.
‐ Watch dog. ‐
Yeah, bow and wow.
Max, you had ample
time to find that tape.
You didn't find it.
It just wasn't there.
Well, I guess, I'm just
sittin' on a time bomb.
I don't know when?
I don't know where?
But it's just bound to
show up somewhere.
'Officer, do you have a license'
'to carry that, hmm?'
‐ This is nasty. ‐ Um..
Uh, uh, I‐I'm sorry. I‐I don't
know how this happened.
‐ I don't.. ‐ Sure, you don't.
You little devil.
'Oh‐ho‐ho, Officer Goodbody'
'arrest me, arrest me.'
Whoo‐hoo!