Living Single (1993–1998): Season 2, Episode 15 - Singing the Blues - full transcript
["The Love Boat"]
♪ Lo‐o‐ove‐ah! ♪
♪ Exciting and new‐ah! ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you ♪
♪ It's the Love Boat‐ah! ♪
Get the hell away from me.
♪ Love Boat ♪
I'm balling up my fist, alright?
♪ Set your course
for adventure ♪
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ Love ♪
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
Mmm‐mm‐mm.
♪ It's an open smile ♪
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
♪ It's love ♪
♪ Love love love ♪
Oh, you're good!
You're gonna win!
[Queen Latifah singing
"We Are Living Single"]
♪ We are Living Single ♪
♪ Ooo and in a
'90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep ya head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep ya head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Wheneva this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my homegirl standin'
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue We tight like glue ♪
♪ We are Living Single ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ What you want ♪
♪ No free position girl ♪
♪ Ah‐h‐h ♪
[flute music]
So tell them the
big news, Khadijah.
There is no news.
I wouldn't say being asked
to be the subject of
an on‐air TV interview
with an award‐winning
journalist at our house next week
at 7 o'clock, is no news.
They're never gonna
believe it. Tell 'em, tell 'em.
It's a lil' puff piece for that
TV show, "Black Visionaries."
‐ Ooh. ‐ Mmm.
You know, they interview all
the prominent African‐Americans
in the city. Hmm,
note to Sabrina.
Expect a call from
"Black Visionaries."
Note to Sabrina.
There are several poisons that
can't be traced. Think about it!
"Black Visionaries."
That's that show that comes
on after my soap, "Latino Love."
Man, I wish I hadn't
agreed to do it.
I mean, I'm a
behind‐the‐scenes kind of person.
The truth is Khadijah
stinks at public speaking.
I got a little speech for you.
Anyway, in junior high
she had to give this speech..
And so she got up, wobbling
in her first pair of heels
and she said, "Principal
H‐H‐Hernandez
faculty and fellow students."
And then, the girl fell out
her shoes and off the stage.
Khadijah, you know, it
might be good for Flavor.
‐ You should do the
interview. ‐ Yeah, he's right.
You owe this to your
readers and to me
your personal image consultant.
Oh, hells no!
If I'm not mistaken, you
talked me into those shoes
and your grandmother
did not appreciate me
messing up her party pumps.
Alright, yes, yes, yes.
Very good! Very good!
Alright. Ha ha. How about that?
Wasn't that a wonderful version
of whatever it was you were
playing? Yeah, very good.
Now, let's have all of tonight's
contestants up here on stage
so we can announce tonight's
talented winner. Alright, huh?
They give prizes for this poop?
Max, your eloquence
really turns me on.
[growls]
Well, thank you, Eartha Kitt.
And tonight's winners are
once again the ventriloquist
duo, Puddin' and Fudge.
Ha‐ha!
Can't they find anybody in
this place with some talent?
Hell, you got Nat King
Kyle sitting right here.
Come on, Overton.
That was only one review.
That you had laminated, and
is now hanging in our bathroom.
Kyle, why don't you sing next
week in the Open Mike contest?
Come on, you could at least
beat Puddin', if not Fudge.
Yeah. Who knows
where this could lead?
I mean, Frank Sinatra's doing
duets with anybody these days.
If you think it's so easy, why
don't you tell your jokes, huh?
This contest is for amateurs.
See, I've been paid
for my comedic style.
Ah‐ha! You dressed as a cordless
drill at a hardware convention.
For which I was paid $50.
But I'd be willing to overlook
my professional status
if it'd get you back on stage.
Hey Kyle, I've heard
you sing. You're good.
You people don't understand.
There has to be passion.
I sing from my heart.
First prize, $300.
♪ The Love Boat ♪
[all laughing]
Khadijah, it's time
for your make‐over.
Oh, no, you don't.
Take that camera
up to your bedroom
and put it back on the ceiling
mount, where it belongs.
Khadijah, someone has got to
help you with this TV interview
and it ain't gonna be Synclaire.
Look at her.
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.
Girl, relax. It's just a tactic.
But you could use a
little hot oil treatment.
Now, as for you, honey,
you have a really terrifically
cute face here in real life
but television, is a
merciless distorter of the truth.
She's right.
Look at Ed Asner.
You think his ears
are really that hairy?
Come on, TV does that.
Regine, go away.
‐ Synclaire. ‐ Huh?
Seek help.
Okay, I will take
my little miracle kit
and work my magic
on someone else
because see dear, it
is very obvious to me
that you do not want my help.
Okay, Regine.
What did you do to the camera
to make me look like Yoda?
I pressed record.
Deal with it.
Do I sit like that?
All hunched over?
Damn, my eyes looked crossed.
Just the one eye.
Dang, look at your years.
[softly] My God.
[scatting]
Hey, hey, hey.
Man, I was workin' on
my microphone technique
with that remote.
Man, last time you
sang in this thing
you ended up recording six
hours of Korean home shopping.
Overton, it takes a lot
of planning and practice
to achieve the level of
brilliance to which I aspire.
At the cafe?
When your competition
is Food Mart Freddie
the belchin' bag boy,
you're going to shine.
Man, so you been walking around
here tormenting your self today.
Just sing the damn song,
and sing it like you mean it.
And if you sing that song,
"She's Out Of My Life"
don't try to choke
up at the end.
Hell, everybody'll
know it's phony.
[singing high‐pitched notes]
[knocking on door]
Come on! Fire! Get out! Come on!
Oh God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Hey, I thought your smoke
alarms were going off.
Max, I'm so glad you're here.
You know, it will remind
me not to sing so flat.
Well, I'd think lack of stamina
would be your main concern.
[chuckling]
You know, coming from a
woman whose musical taste
go no further than "Alvin
And The Chipmunks"..
I really wouldn't expect
you to understand.
You see, I throw
myself on to my craft.
I embrace the song
like I embrace a woman.
So that's what? Once a year?
But it's a tune you
will never forget.
Now..
If this conversation is over
allow me to show
you the way... out.
They need to let me fix
our foreign aid program.
Every time I'm watching
the TV I see American planes
dropping big bag of wheat
in some foreign country.
Then they gonna try to
tell me it cost $300 million.
I'm thinking, hey,
for $300 million
couldn't we at least
throw in some butter?
Or maybe some bouillon or
some biscuits for sopping?
Anyway, look here.
I've been Overton Wakefield
Jones and remember.
Hey, don't drink and drill.
Goodnight.
Hey, how about that? Overton
Wakefield Jones. Ha ha.
Y'know, I didn't think he was
gonna be any good, but hey!
He is funny, isn't he? Ha ha ha.
Kyle, if you suck on
that lemon much longer
your gonna have
to propose to it.
Look, a singer needs
something bitter and sour
before he sings, right?
And since Max is not here..
You're looking a little
nervous there, partner.
Mmm, no. It's just
pre‐performance anxiety.
I think I can handle this crowd.
Whoo! That was scariest
thing I ever did in my life.
I mean, when you're
Reba McIntyre, it's easy.
In front of 50,000
people, no problem.
But here, where you can
see each and every face..
Whoo!
Good luck up there, dog.
[drumroll]
Alright, alright and
right on with the show.
Now this next guy
up calls himself.
"The hardest working
man on Wall Street."
Yeah, well, what's that mean?
Anyway, let's welcome the
vocal stylings of Kyle Barker, huh?
[compere laughing]
[fast scatting]
♪ When I fall in love girl ♪
♪ It's gonna be forever ♪
♪ Yes ♪
♪ Or I'll never fall in love ♪
♪ I'm never gonna
fall in love babe ♪
♪ In a restless a
restless world like this is ♪
♪ Love is ended
before it's begun ♪
♪ And too many too
many moonlight kisses ♪
♪ Seem to cool in the
warmth of the sun ♪
♪ Oh yes ♪
♪ When I give my he‐he‐heart ♪
♪ It's gonna be completely yes ♪
♪ Or I'll ne‐nev.. ♪
Wow!
Check out loser Vandross. Pfft.
[laughing]
[Maxine laughing]
Oh, come on, Kyle.
Cheer up. It wasn't
that big a deal. For real.
And‐and you didn't
officially come in last place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. True.
When you ran out of
there, you were disqualified.
[Maxine laughing]
Don't dwell on that.
You just put this whole
silly contest behind you.
(Overton) Hey, can somebody
give me a hand with this?
Man, this is the biggest
trophy I ever seen.
Now, Kyle, don't feel bad.
You still have your dignity.
Oh, no, you really
don't, do you?
Oh‐h‐h! Ha‐ha‐ha!
Why you gonna kick
that man when he's down?
I'm sorry, but watching Kyle
humiliate himself in public..
It's got me kind of giddy.
Oh, face it, man.
Anybody who's ever
been on stage before
has flopped at
one time or another.
[grunts]
Except for me, of course.
I'm batting a thousand
but then again
that's an unfair comparison.
Overton, man, I
completely lost it up there
and why'd have to
be in front of Max?
I'm never gonna
hear the end of this.
You know, I think my
avid viewing of Ricki Lake
is about to pay off.
Kyle, I think Max is the reason
why you cracked on stage.
Please, come on, man.
It'd take a lot more than her.
As any Oprah
fan would tell you..
Man, you in
denial. Let's face it.
You and Max have been intimate.
You inoculated the cat. You
took Mr. Toad for the wild ride.
‐ Y'all was doing
the‐‐ ‐ Ha‐ha! Okay!
And yes, we did discuss
having a relationship
but good sense prevailed
allowing us to maintain
our mutual disgust.
So, what I'm hearing here is..
You tried to get closer to
Max and she closed the doors.
She cut you off, she hung
up the emotion phone.
Or at least, that's how
Donahue would say it.
Overton, man, I thought I
had put all this stuff behind me.
Well, clearly you haven't.
So what you got to do now
is get back on that stage
in front of Max and
the other 50 people
that laughed your ass
up out of there... and sing.
I'll tell you another thing.
I think the reason why
Max didn't hook up with you
is 'cause she's scared.
[snorts]
You think so?
Well, it's either that, or
she's just not attracted to you.
Synclaire, would you
mind sitting in for Khadijah
while we adjust lighting?
Oh, I could never
take Khadijah's place.
I'd love to!
You know, you're
pretty photogenic.
Damn! Look at all this
equipment. I'm not ready.
Just remember
the regime routine.
"Posture, poise,
smile, sincerity."
Posture, poise,
smile, sincerity.
Listen, if you find
yourself at a loss for words
simply thank God and your
family for all the opportunities
that you've been given,
and then the big smile.
Khadijah, we're ready
for you. You look fantastic.
Thank you!
So, just pretend we're
two old friends chatting
and I'll ask you a
few simple questions.
Excuse me, if you
were old friends
wouldn't you know the
answers to all the questions?
[clears throat]
So what is it like being a
young African‐American woman
in charge of her own magazine?
Nice.
Um, it's very nice.
Um, um, it's excellent.
I‐I like it.
Why don't I ask you
something easier?
Now, for those viewers who
haven't been lucky enough
to have read Flavor Magazine,
how would you describe it?
Um, it's a magazine
that's called "Flavor"
and‐and I publish it
and it's I‐I it's urban
and is hip and I is‐is, is um..
I'd like to thank
God and my family
for everything
they've done for me.
Cut! Cut!
Cut! Cut!
Come on. Come here.
Now, Khadijah, two important
things happened in here, honey.
You're bombing and you're
making me look really bad.
I have an idea. Close your eyes.
[exhales]
Ouch! Gee, that hurt!
You articulate better
when you're angry.
‐ Oh! ‐ Go get 'em.
We're ready now.
A‐h‐h!
‐ I can answer that
question. ‐ Please, do.
"Flavor" magazine
paints a portrait
of the young African‐American
against a changing
urban landscape.
My magazine gives
voice to a community
that might not
otherwise be heard.
And you're very successful.
What's your secret?
Lack of a social life, gal.
‐ Oh my God. ‐ Ouch!
I'm not the nervous one.
Yes, dear, but you
have a unibrow.
(compere) Uh, nobody handles the
song like this next performer, alright?
I mean, really, this
man he takes a note..
Well, you know, he sort of
like twists it and, but then he..
Well, anyway,
y'all will see, okay?
Here he is, the vocal stylings
of Mr. Kyle Barker, huh?
Hey, Max, I wasn't
expecting you to come.
What?
And miss another humiliating
moment in Kyle's life?
Not for the world.
[slow jazz music]
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ A‐yay ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ My funny valentine ♪
♪ Sweet comic valentine ♪
[no audio]
♪ You make me smile ♪
♪ With my heart ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Your looks are laughable ♪
[chuckling]
♪ Unphotographable ♪
♪ Yet you're my
favorite work of art ♪
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
♪ Is your figure ♪
♪ Less than Greek ♪
♪ Is your mouth a little weak ♪
♪ When you open
it to speak girl ♪
♪ Are you smart ♪
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
Shh! Ah!
♪ Don't you change it
Don't you change it ♪
♪ Don't you change
a hair for me ♪
♪ Not if you care for me ♪
♪ Stay ♪
♪ Little valentine ♪
♪ Stay ♪
♪ Each day is valentine's ♪
♪ Valentine's day babe ♪
[scatting]
♪ Ooh Girl ♪
♪ Each day ♪
♪ Is Valentine's day ♪
[everyone cheering]
So you liked him?
Well, it's nothing to
throw a parade over.
[clears throat]
So, uh, what's
with all the confetti?
Max, you know he
boiled your potato.
Oh, you did it, dog.
Man, I had her eating
out of the palm of my hand.
Too bad I didn't have some oats.
Well, good. Now you can finally
put this whole sick mess behind.
That's right, and I wanna
thank you, my brother.
‐ I am now finally
free. ‐ That's right.
That's right.
Oh, Lawd, there they go again.
So what is it with
relationships these days, huh?
They all fail, why bother?
And try getting a cab.
It's hell!
Yeah, you know, some people
like dogs, some people like cats.
Man, they both smell.
Any married people out here?
Come on put on your hands.
Come on. Let's go.
Yeah, you know the
odds are against you.
Yeah. And the problem
with public transportation
is that anyone can take it.
[imitates drumbeat]
And men..
Oh, don't get me going. Ah, no!
Yes.
Well, I'm Maxine Shaw!
Thanks, goodnight.
Yeah.
Woo‐hoo!
[giggling]
♪ Lo‐o‐ove‐ah! ♪
♪ Exciting and new‐ah! ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you ♪
♪ It's the Love Boat‐ah! ♪
Get the hell away from me.
♪ Love Boat ♪
I'm balling up my fist, alright?
♪ Set your course
for adventure ♪
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ Love ♪
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
Mmm‐mm‐mm.
♪ It's an open smile ♪
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
♪ It's love ♪
♪ Love love love ♪
Oh, you're good!
You're gonna win!
[Queen Latifah singing
"We Are Living Single"]
♪ We are Living Single ♪
♪ Ooo and in a
'90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep ya head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep ya head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Wheneva this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my homegirl standin'
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue We tight like glue ♪
♪ We are Living Single ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ What you want ♪
♪ No free position girl ♪
♪ Ah‐h‐h ♪
[flute music]
So tell them the
big news, Khadijah.
There is no news.
I wouldn't say being asked
to be the subject of
an on‐air TV interview
with an award‐winning
journalist at our house next week
at 7 o'clock, is no news.
They're never gonna
believe it. Tell 'em, tell 'em.
It's a lil' puff piece for that
TV show, "Black Visionaries."
‐ Ooh. ‐ Mmm.
You know, they interview all
the prominent African‐Americans
in the city. Hmm,
note to Sabrina.
Expect a call from
"Black Visionaries."
Note to Sabrina.
There are several poisons that
can't be traced. Think about it!
"Black Visionaries."
That's that show that comes
on after my soap, "Latino Love."
Man, I wish I hadn't
agreed to do it.
I mean, I'm a
behind‐the‐scenes kind of person.
The truth is Khadijah
stinks at public speaking.
I got a little speech for you.
Anyway, in junior high
she had to give this speech..
And so she got up, wobbling
in her first pair of heels
and she said, "Principal
H‐H‐Hernandez
faculty and fellow students."
And then, the girl fell out
her shoes and off the stage.
Khadijah, you know, it
might be good for Flavor.
‐ You should do the
interview. ‐ Yeah, he's right.
You owe this to your
readers and to me
your personal image consultant.
Oh, hells no!
If I'm not mistaken, you
talked me into those shoes
and your grandmother
did not appreciate me
messing up her party pumps.
Alright, yes, yes, yes.
Very good! Very good!
Alright. Ha ha. How about that?
Wasn't that a wonderful version
of whatever it was you were
playing? Yeah, very good.
Now, let's have all of tonight's
contestants up here on stage
so we can announce tonight's
talented winner. Alright, huh?
They give prizes for this poop?
Max, your eloquence
really turns me on.
[growls]
Well, thank you, Eartha Kitt.
And tonight's winners are
once again the ventriloquist
duo, Puddin' and Fudge.
Ha‐ha!
Can't they find anybody in
this place with some talent?
Hell, you got Nat King
Kyle sitting right here.
Come on, Overton.
That was only one review.
That you had laminated, and
is now hanging in our bathroom.
Kyle, why don't you sing next
week in the Open Mike contest?
Come on, you could at least
beat Puddin', if not Fudge.
Yeah. Who knows
where this could lead?
I mean, Frank Sinatra's doing
duets with anybody these days.
If you think it's so easy, why
don't you tell your jokes, huh?
This contest is for amateurs.
See, I've been paid
for my comedic style.
Ah‐ha! You dressed as a cordless
drill at a hardware convention.
For which I was paid $50.
But I'd be willing to overlook
my professional status
if it'd get you back on stage.
Hey Kyle, I've heard
you sing. You're good.
You people don't understand.
There has to be passion.
I sing from my heart.
First prize, $300.
♪ The Love Boat ♪
[all laughing]
Khadijah, it's time
for your make‐over.
Oh, no, you don't.
Take that camera
up to your bedroom
and put it back on the ceiling
mount, where it belongs.
Khadijah, someone has got to
help you with this TV interview
and it ain't gonna be Synclaire.
Look at her.
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.
Girl, relax. It's just a tactic.
But you could use a
little hot oil treatment.
Now, as for you, honey,
you have a really terrifically
cute face here in real life
but television, is a
merciless distorter of the truth.
She's right.
Look at Ed Asner.
You think his ears
are really that hairy?
Come on, TV does that.
Regine, go away.
‐ Synclaire. ‐ Huh?
Seek help.
Okay, I will take
my little miracle kit
and work my magic
on someone else
because see dear, it
is very obvious to me
that you do not want my help.
Okay, Regine.
What did you do to the camera
to make me look like Yoda?
I pressed record.
Deal with it.
Do I sit like that?
All hunched over?
Damn, my eyes looked crossed.
Just the one eye.
Dang, look at your years.
[softly] My God.
[scatting]
Hey, hey, hey.
Man, I was workin' on
my microphone technique
with that remote.
Man, last time you
sang in this thing
you ended up recording six
hours of Korean home shopping.
Overton, it takes a lot
of planning and practice
to achieve the level of
brilliance to which I aspire.
At the cafe?
When your competition
is Food Mart Freddie
the belchin' bag boy,
you're going to shine.
Man, so you been walking around
here tormenting your self today.
Just sing the damn song,
and sing it like you mean it.
And if you sing that song,
"She's Out Of My Life"
don't try to choke
up at the end.
Hell, everybody'll
know it's phony.
[singing high‐pitched notes]
[knocking on door]
Come on! Fire! Get out! Come on!
Oh God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Hey, I thought your smoke
alarms were going off.
Max, I'm so glad you're here.
You know, it will remind
me not to sing so flat.
Well, I'd think lack of stamina
would be your main concern.
[chuckling]
You know, coming from a
woman whose musical taste
go no further than "Alvin
And The Chipmunks"..
I really wouldn't expect
you to understand.
You see, I throw
myself on to my craft.
I embrace the song
like I embrace a woman.
So that's what? Once a year?
But it's a tune you
will never forget.
Now..
If this conversation is over
allow me to show
you the way... out.
They need to let me fix
our foreign aid program.
Every time I'm watching
the TV I see American planes
dropping big bag of wheat
in some foreign country.
Then they gonna try to
tell me it cost $300 million.
I'm thinking, hey,
for $300 million
couldn't we at least
throw in some butter?
Or maybe some bouillon or
some biscuits for sopping?
Anyway, look here.
I've been Overton Wakefield
Jones and remember.
Hey, don't drink and drill.
Goodnight.
Hey, how about that? Overton
Wakefield Jones. Ha ha.
Y'know, I didn't think he was
gonna be any good, but hey!
He is funny, isn't he? Ha ha ha.
Kyle, if you suck on
that lemon much longer
your gonna have
to propose to it.
Look, a singer needs
something bitter and sour
before he sings, right?
And since Max is not here..
You're looking a little
nervous there, partner.
Mmm, no. It's just
pre‐performance anxiety.
I think I can handle this crowd.
Whoo! That was scariest
thing I ever did in my life.
I mean, when you're
Reba McIntyre, it's easy.
In front of 50,000
people, no problem.
But here, where you can
see each and every face..
Whoo!
Good luck up there, dog.
[drumroll]
Alright, alright and
right on with the show.
Now this next guy
up calls himself.
"The hardest working
man on Wall Street."
Yeah, well, what's that mean?
Anyway, let's welcome the
vocal stylings of Kyle Barker, huh?
[compere laughing]
[fast scatting]
♪ When I fall in love girl ♪
♪ It's gonna be forever ♪
♪ Yes ♪
♪ Or I'll never fall in love ♪
♪ I'm never gonna
fall in love babe ♪
♪ In a restless a
restless world like this is ♪
♪ Love is ended
before it's begun ♪
♪ And too many too
many moonlight kisses ♪
♪ Seem to cool in the
warmth of the sun ♪
♪ Oh yes ♪
♪ When I give my he‐he‐heart ♪
♪ It's gonna be completely yes ♪
♪ Or I'll ne‐nev.. ♪
Wow!
Check out loser Vandross. Pfft.
[laughing]
[Maxine laughing]
Oh, come on, Kyle.
Cheer up. It wasn't
that big a deal. For real.
And‐and you didn't
officially come in last place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. True.
When you ran out of
there, you were disqualified.
[Maxine laughing]
Don't dwell on that.
You just put this whole
silly contest behind you.
(Overton) Hey, can somebody
give me a hand with this?
Man, this is the biggest
trophy I ever seen.
Now, Kyle, don't feel bad.
You still have your dignity.
Oh, no, you really
don't, do you?
Oh‐h‐h! Ha‐ha‐ha!
Why you gonna kick
that man when he's down?
I'm sorry, but watching Kyle
humiliate himself in public..
It's got me kind of giddy.
Oh, face it, man.
Anybody who's ever
been on stage before
has flopped at
one time or another.
[grunts]
Except for me, of course.
I'm batting a thousand
but then again
that's an unfair comparison.
Overton, man, I
completely lost it up there
and why'd have to
be in front of Max?
I'm never gonna
hear the end of this.
You know, I think my
avid viewing of Ricki Lake
is about to pay off.
Kyle, I think Max is the reason
why you cracked on stage.
Please, come on, man.
It'd take a lot more than her.
As any Oprah
fan would tell you..
Man, you in
denial. Let's face it.
You and Max have been intimate.
You inoculated the cat. You
took Mr. Toad for the wild ride.
‐ Y'all was doing
the‐‐ ‐ Ha‐ha! Okay!
And yes, we did discuss
having a relationship
but good sense prevailed
allowing us to maintain
our mutual disgust.
So, what I'm hearing here is..
You tried to get closer to
Max and she closed the doors.
She cut you off, she hung
up the emotion phone.
Or at least, that's how
Donahue would say it.
Overton, man, I thought I
had put all this stuff behind me.
Well, clearly you haven't.
So what you got to do now
is get back on that stage
in front of Max and
the other 50 people
that laughed your ass
up out of there... and sing.
I'll tell you another thing.
I think the reason why
Max didn't hook up with you
is 'cause she's scared.
[snorts]
You think so?
Well, it's either that, or
she's just not attracted to you.
Synclaire, would you
mind sitting in for Khadijah
while we adjust lighting?
Oh, I could never
take Khadijah's place.
I'd love to!
You know, you're
pretty photogenic.
Damn! Look at all this
equipment. I'm not ready.
Just remember
the regime routine.
"Posture, poise,
smile, sincerity."
Posture, poise,
smile, sincerity.
Listen, if you find
yourself at a loss for words
simply thank God and your
family for all the opportunities
that you've been given,
and then the big smile.
Khadijah, we're ready
for you. You look fantastic.
Thank you!
So, just pretend we're
two old friends chatting
and I'll ask you a
few simple questions.
Excuse me, if you
were old friends
wouldn't you know the
answers to all the questions?
[clears throat]
So what is it like being a
young African‐American woman
in charge of her own magazine?
Nice.
Um, it's very nice.
Um, um, it's excellent.
I‐I like it.
Why don't I ask you
something easier?
Now, for those viewers who
haven't been lucky enough
to have read Flavor Magazine,
how would you describe it?
Um, it's a magazine
that's called "Flavor"
and‐and I publish it
and it's I‐I it's urban
and is hip and I is‐is, is um..
I'd like to thank
God and my family
for everything
they've done for me.
Cut! Cut!
Cut! Cut!
Come on. Come here.
Now, Khadijah, two important
things happened in here, honey.
You're bombing and you're
making me look really bad.
I have an idea. Close your eyes.
[exhales]
Ouch! Gee, that hurt!
You articulate better
when you're angry.
‐ Oh! ‐ Go get 'em.
We're ready now.
A‐h‐h!
‐ I can answer that
question. ‐ Please, do.
"Flavor" magazine
paints a portrait
of the young African‐American
against a changing
urban landscape.
My magazine gives
voice to a community
that might not
otherwise be heard.
And you're very successful.
What's your secret?
Lack of a social life, gal.
‐ Oh my God. ‐ Ouch!
I'm not the nervous one.
Yes, dear, but you
have a unibrow.
(compere) Uh, nobody handles the
song like this next performer, alright?
I mean, really, this
man he takes a note..
Well, you know, he sort of
like twists it and, but then he..
Well, anyway,
y'all will see, okay?
Here he is, the vocal stylings
of Mr. Kyle Barker, huh?
Hey, Max, I wasn't
expecting you to come.
What?
And miss another humiliating
moment in Kyle's life?
Not for the world.
[slow jazz music]
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ A‐yay ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ My funny valentine ♪
♪ Sweet comic valentine ♪
[no audio]
♪ You make me smile ♪
♪ With my heart ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Your looks are laughable ♪
[chuckling]
♪ Unphotographable ♪
♪ Yet you're my
favorite work of art ♪
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
♪ Is your figure ♪
♪ Less than Greek ♪
♪ Is your mouth a little weak ♪
♪ When you open
it to speak girl ♪
♪ Are you smart ♪
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
Shh! Ah!
♪ Don't you change it
Don't you change it ♪
♪ Don't you change
a hair for me ♪
♪ Not if you care for me ♪
♪ Stay ♪
♪ Little valentine ♪
♪ Stay ♪
♪ Each day is valentine's ♪
♪ Valentine's day babe ♪
[scatting]
♪ Ooh Girl ♪
♪ Each day ♪
♪ Is Valentine's day ♪
[everyone cheering]
So you liked him?
Well, it's nothing to
throw a parade over.
[clears throat]
So, uh, what's
with all the confetti?
Max, you know he
boiled your potato.
Oh, you did it, dog.
Man, I had her eating
out of the palm of my hand.
Too bad I didn't have some oats.
Well, good. Now you can finally
put this whole sick mess behind.
That's right, and I wanna
thank you, my brother.
‐ I am now finally
free. ‐ That's right.
That's right.
Oh, Lawd, there they go again.
So what is it with
relationships these days, huh?
They all fail, why bother?
And try getting a cab.
It's hell!
Yeah, you know, some people
like dogs, some people like cats.
Man, they both smell.
Any married people out here?
Come on put on your hands.
Come on. Let's go.
Yeah, you know the
odds are against you.
Yeah. And the problem
with public transportation
is that anyone can take it.
[imitates drumbeat]
And men..
Oh, don't get me going. Ah, no!
Yes.
Well, I'm Maxine Shaw!
Thanks, goodnight.
Yeah.
Woo‐hoo!
[giggling]