Living Single (1993–1998): Season 2, Episode 10 - Double Indignity - full transcript
Oh, look at these headlines.
‐ This is so
depressing. ‐ 'I know.'
Says here, "Designers predict
wider lapels next season."
I don't even know
why I read the paper.
‐ Morning, people.
‐ Hey, check you out.
‐ You must have a job
interview. ‐ O‐oh, girl, that is great.
And here is a little
somethin' for good luck, huh!
It's a runnin' tab
of all the food
you've eaten here while
you were unemployed
and it is even itemized
for your convenience.
Good try, Regine, but I
don't have an interview.
I'm heading to the court
house to scout for anyone
who looks like they
might need a lawyer.
How are you gonna
be able to tell?
If they're in a holding
cell, it's kind of a tip off.
You know what, they'll be
very lucky to have someone
as professional as you are.
I know.
That's why I made up these
coupons in eye catching colors.
And if I'm there when
the felony bus pulls in..
Girl, I tell you, I am
in business, ha ha ha!
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Oh in a 90's kinda world ♪
♪ I'm glad I've got my girls ♪
♪ A‐keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough ya gotta fight with ♪
♪ My home girl
standing to my left ♪
♪ And my right true
blue it's tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living single ♪
It's a movie.
'What?'
Ah, okay, okay, Dr. Strangelove
or How I Learned to Stop
Worrying and Love the Bomb.
‐ That's it. ‐ Ding‐dang‐dang.
Come on!
Y'all cheatin' us all.
Hello. Ha ha ha. Very funny.
Stop calling here.
Damn, crank caller.
Man, this is been
goin' on all week.
It's startin' to get
on my nerves.
‐ So, what is he
sayin'? ‐ Nothin'.
It's just this
annoying little laugh.
You know what? Maybe
the phone cord's tickling him.
Happens to me all the time.
What you ladies need is a
man to answer the phone.
Allow me.
Crank callers are often
intimidated by the male voice.
Listen up, you low life. Stop
calling here and harassing
decent citizens and you get‐‐.
Fine!
Regine. O‐oh, your
mother can curse.
Hey, Max. So, how did it go with
the coupons at the court house?
Well, I got a citation
for littering and, uh..
I was hit on by a flasher.
Now, that's a step up for you.
It's a step up from you.
Don't worry, Max, everything's
gonna work out just fine.
Haven't you been listening?
I went down to the
court house with coupons
and still came up with nothin'!
I heard you!
I was just tryin' to be
encouraging and friendly
but if want this straight,
don't miss missy
you're in deep yogurt.
I didn't wanna go there, man.
Look, Max, you've been trying
for months to get legal work.
Now, right now,
you just need a job.
I know. You think I like
waking up in the morning
and hanging around here all day?
You mean you hate it, too?
My problem is the only
thing that I'm trained to do..
Is to be a lawyer.
Now, come on, look at the ads.
"Book keeper. Basic
accountin'. Secretary shorthand.
Word processor 80
words per minute."
Synclaire is more qualified
to get a job than I am.
No, she's not.
Well, my uncle used to say.
If you want to stay employed..
You go in to a line of work
where people always need ya.
That's why he's known as the
Porta Potty King of Cleveland.
Now, Max, look at
this add, it's interesting.
"Telemarketing.
"Experienced entrepreneur
has quality product to be sold
"by articulate spokesperson.
Earn up to a thousand
dollars a week."
A $1000? Hmm.
That's four silk shirts,
two pairs of crepe pants
a bolero jacket and
a cup of caramel
at the Russian tea room.
Regine, that could've
been your mother.
I know.
Hello, stranger.
And welcome to
Galaxy Telemarketing.
I am Larry and you are?
Maxine Shaw, I'm here
for the telemarketing job.
It's yours, congratulations.
That's it? No interview?
Lemme explain something to you.
This is not a
highly skilled job.
Uh... neurosurgery.
That's a highly skilled job.
This, uh, not so much.
Oh, okay I don't have to do
any heavy breathing, do I?
Of course, not.
That's disgusting.
Uh, but of course,
if you find it to be
a highly effective selling
technique, then run with it.
Okay. What we sell here are
subliminal self
improvement tapes.
Each one with a
motivational message
that's recorded at
such a low volume
that only your subconscious
and cocker spaniels can hear it.
Sounds like waves crashing.
Ah, but your
subconscious is hearing.
"You're fat. Put that back."
And people really
buy these things, huh?
Huh?
Okay, well, is
there a health plan?
Of course, if you get sick,
we give you a tape that says.
"You're not sick."
A little subliminal tape humor.
Subconsciously, I'm laughing.
Here's your script and
here's your list of names.
Welcome to the amazing
world of phone sales.
Yes, yes, hello,
Mrs. Uh, Mangini.
"Mrs. Mangini.
"Have you ever said
to yourself, gee, I'm fat?
"Or Mrs. Mangini. Do you say,
gosh, I can't stop having sex
and it's ruining my life?"
It happens.
"Well, I.."
Hello?
Hello.
Mrs. Mangini hung up.
Don't worry about it. I always
use one of my ex‐wives
for the first test call.
Dial yourself silly.
Right.
Yes. Yes, hello,
Mr. Montonio. I'm calling..
Oh! Uno momento.
Okay.
Larry, Mr. Montonio
only speaks Spanish.
No problemo, flippo el scripto.
What is all this?
Aye, I'm using modern technology
to track down your crank caller.
We got the reel‐to‐reel.
We got a voice stress analyzer.
And your standard
ol' spectrograph.
That'll come in handy
when you're ready
to build your time
travelling DeLorean.
No, you need a flux
capacitor for that.
Anyway, by analyzing
the background noise
of several of the crank calls
I can hear, people
swearin' and cars honking.
So, I've narrowed it
down to New York City.
And I thought those
ears were just for nibbling.
Hmm, go on, get it.
Hello. Hey, Max.
So how's the new job?
On the suck scale,
it sucks, plus two.
Ow!
Your night with Kyle
only sucked, plus one.
Khadijah, you'd be amazed
who you find here at
the bottom of the barrel.
There's an accountant,
a disc jockey
an airline pilot. Hey,
doc. Gimme a cigarette.
Max, that job hasn't
got you smokin', has it?
Oh, no, no. I'm just holding
it for effect, you know.
It completes the pathetic image.
Larry, what are you doing?
Oh, don't mind me. Just
a little spring cleaning.
Anyway, you wouldn't
believe the office politics here.
Like this girl, Deloris.
Oh, she's been bucking for
the phone near the window.
Alright, everyone, put down
your phones, you're under arrest.
'Hey, what's goin' on?'
I think I'm about
to be handcuffed.
And I don't mean
that in a good way.
Alright, you know, peace
and love. Peace and love.
Peace and love.
Hey, hey. Has Khadijah got
back from bailin' out Max yet?
‐ Not yet. ‐ Oh, man, you know.
I really wish I had a
copy of Jailhouse Rock.
I want to blast it
when they drive up.
‐ You get that crank caller
yet? ‐ No, but I'm zeroin' in.
While analyzing the
tape, I distinctly heard
echoin' footsteps and a
splash of runnin' water.
So my guess is, the
culprit is either callin'
from the grand lobby
at the Waldorf Astoria
or is a guy in flamenco boots
carryin' a bucket of water.
Man..
‐ Maxie, you're okay?
‐ Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
And, Khadijah, thanks
again for bailing me out.
Oh, no problem.
Kyle said he'd reimburse me,
if I gave him the canceled check
with Max's bail written on it.
Yeah, yeah, laugh it
up, laugh it up, Kyle.
I wrote your name and
number on the holding cell wall.
Weren't you busy pumping
iron and watching game shows?
Aw‐w.
Show her some sympathy.
Bad enough she doesn't
have a man or a job.
Now, she's got this bad rap.
Well, Max, after being in jail, I
bet you'd never wanna spend
another moment cooped up in
a room with a bunch of women.
Enjoy your freedom.
Well, I'm not free.
I've been given a date
to show up in court.
But you did nothing wrong.
I know, but Galaxy
Telemarketing did.
They were taking money
for subliminal tapes
with no subliminal
messages on them.
My life is in the gutter.
Your life is gonna be fine,
'cause you're not guilty.
Being innocent does
not guarantee a quiddle.
I could be disbarred.
I could end up in prison.
Oh, man, I'm sorry you're
going through all this, Max.
Kyle is pitying me.
I have truly reached
the lowest point in my life.
Oh, don't despair,
Max. Hell is like Batman.
Here comes another
philosophical Jim.
Batman doesn't sit around
complaining about how diabolical
the Joker is or how
distracting Catwoman is in her..
Skin tight, pad leather unitard.
No! No!
He... he gets off
his back behind
and kick some
arch villain booty.
I have hit rock bottom because
that make complete sense to me.
Overton's right.
I am not going out like that.
I am not going
out without a fight.
Wow, Overton, your bad
speech really fired her up.
We can learn a lot from
our little animated friends.
'Like, when I was a kid..'
I used to like Fat Albert.
And then I thought, well, hey,
who's gonna get more women?
A superhero with a sweet ride
or a 200 pound seventh grader?
Oh, Max.
Look, I talked to Synclaire, she
doesn't know where Overton is.
Damn! What about you?
Did you bring what I asked for?
Yeah.
There's a little stick
in there you can, uh..
Spread the cheese
over the cracker with it.
Excuse me, are you Fred Mayer?
And you're asking
me that because..
‐ You're my public defender.
‐ Ah, it's great, I found you.
Look, I just suggest
you plead guilty
pay the fine, just
get it over with.
‐ What's your name?
‐ Maxine Shaw.
‐ Oh, you're the
lawyer. ‐ Exactly.
Have some idea how to get me
off 'cause I'm not pleading guilty.
Right, you better not mess
up 'cause we pay your salary.
Oh, great.
Disgruntled tax payers.
Widows or no widows. Guilty.
Next case.
Case number 496.
The people versus
Galaxy Telemarketing.
Maxine Shaw, first defendant.
Galaxy Telemarketing!
Larry Friedlander, what
are we selling this week?
Hello, Your Honor.
Have I ever told you how
lovely you look in that robe?
Settle down, Larry.
Your Honor, my client pleads..
Not guilty.
Not guilty.
Any particular reason?
Yes. For the two
hours Michelle worked
as a telemarketer
she made not one sale.
She made no sale,
she committed no crime.
It's as simple as that.
You were just handed this case
out in the hallway, weren't you?
I am going to fry.
Okay, how about this?
In State of California
versus Patty Hearst
the defense argued that a person
cannot be held responsible when
their mind is being controlled
by some outside force.
Your Honor, I contend
that Miss Maxine Shaw
was under the influence
of this Svengali, this
mastermind control..
Larry Friedlander.
Oh, stop.
Brain washed, huh?
Okay, I'm ready to rule‐‐.
Your Honor, I'm an attorney.
I'd like to go pro se
and represent myself.
‐ No offense,
Fred. ‐ None taken.
My next move is gonna
be the insanity plea.
I'll save that for Larry.
Miss Shaw, if you think you
can top the Patty Hearst thing..
Your Honor.
The police records
indicate that only one person
led the offices of
Galaxy Telemarketing.
Why?
Because only one man knew
what he was doing was illegal.
That man, Lawrence
J Friedlander.
You'll never work in the
telemarketing industry again.
I made you and I can break you.
‐ Sit. ‐ Sorry.
Now, had I known..
Had any of us known that what
we were involved in was illegal
wouldn't one of us
run from the police?
But we didn't
run. Not one of us.
Because we had no
knowledge and therefore
no intent to commit fraud.
Do you have any evidence?
Not at this time, Your Honor.
Your Honor, I've known this
woman since freshman year
in college and she's
always been honest.
If there was some law against
being honest she'd be arrested.
But then it'd be a crime,
so she wouldn't do it.
You know what I'm sayin'.
Hold that gavel.
Another friend of the defendant?
‐ Did you get the tape? ‐
And this along with the tape.
Your Honor, I call
Overton Wakefield Jones
to the stand.
Now, Mr. Jones..
You have been
recording all phone calls
coming into Miss
James apartment.
Is that correct?
Is that correct?
Yes, yes, at the
ladies request I was
tryin' to track down a
crank caller. Don't you see?
Mr. Jones, please tell the
court what is on this tape.
It's a conversation
between you and Khadijah
at the precise moment
the police came in.
Further long on the tape is
the best of Boosie Collins..
I don't see how that
figures into this case.
‐ Uh, Boosie a bass
player. ‐ P‐Funk, yeah.
Your Honor, this recording
will prove that I had absolutely
no knowledge those
tapes were fraudulent.
In fact, I was having a
personal conversation
and therefore was not
engaged in phone fraud
when the police arrived.
I was not seen doing it.
I was not heard doing it.
And this is all to say
very simply, Your Honor.
I didn't do it.
That's a very compelling
argument, Miss Shaw.
Pending my verification
of the tapes authenticity..
You're case is dismissed.
Yes. Oh, you did it, baby.
Max, I'm Deloris.
Right, you were selling that
impotence could be sexy tape.
Will you represent me?
If that's alright with
you, Your Honor?
Would anybody else like to
be represented my Miss Shaw?
Put your hand down, Larry.
Oh, check me out,
people, I'm free.
Well, you get what you pay for.
My girl worked
it in court today.
Not only did she clear
herself off the charges..
But she cleared everybody else
and got her a date
with that cute bailiff.
Yes, being back in court
gave me such a rush.
After gettin' a glimpse into
the workings of our legal system
I realized that Matlock pretty
much tells it the way it is.
Nobody get that,
that's that crank caller.
Could be for me. Put your
number on my answering machine.
Hello.
Oh, how are you?
Is that right?
Is that right?
Is that right?
‐ Is that right? ‐ Hell,
I guess that's right.
Well, alright.
It's the public
defenders office.
Judge Glazer was so impressed
with me that she put in a word.
‐ What? ‐ Low pay, long hours?
I'll take it.
See you Monday.
I got a job.
‐ Yes. ‐ Yeah, ha, ha, yeah.
Max, you're gonna
be a public defender.
You're gonna
work for the people.
‐ Freak the people,
I got a job. ‐ Yeah.
Hey, this caller ID phone
Overton installed really works.
We got the crank
caller's number.
Oh, shoot. He's gonna be
sorry he ever called this house.
Listen up, you punk,
if you think for a min‐‐.
What?
Oh!
What's your name, little boy?
Andy.
Have you been callin' here?
Well, you know, Andy,
what you doin' is wrong.
I could call the police.
What you mean the
police work for your dad?
Look, stop making
up stories, young man
and don't call here
anymore, okay?
Crazy kid. Says his
father's the mayor.
‐ This is so
depressing. ‐ 'I know.'
Says here, "Designers predict
wider lapels next season."
I don't even know
why I read the paper.
‐ Morning, people.
‐ Hey, check you out.
‐ You must have a job
interview. ‐ O‐oh, girl, that is great.
And here is a little
somethin' for good luck, huh!
It's a runnin' tab
of all the food
you've eaten here while
you were unemployed
and it is even itemized
for your convenience.
Good try, Regine, but I
don't have an interview.
I'm heading to the court
house to scout for anyone
who looks like they
might need a lawyer.
How are you gonna
be able to tell?
If they're in a holding
cell, it's kind of a tip off.
You know what, they'll be
very lucky to have someone
as professional as you are.
I know.
That's why I made up these
coupons in eye catching colors.
And if I'm there when
the felony bus pulls in..
Girl, I tell you, I am
in business, ha ha ha!
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Oh in a 90's kinda world ♪
♪ I'm glad I've got my girls ♪
♪ A‐keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough ya gotta fight with ♪
♪ My home girl
standing to my left ♪
♪ And my right true
blue it's tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living single ♪
It's a movie.
'What?'
Ah, okay, okay, Dr. Strangelove
or How I Learned to Stop
Worrying and Love the Bomb.
‐ That's it. ‐ Ding‐dang‐dang.
Come on!
Y'all cheatin' us all.
Hello. Ha ha ha. Very funny.
Stop calling here.
Damn, crank caller.
Man, this is been
goin' on all week.
It's startin' to get
on my nerves.
‐ So, what is he
sayin'? ‐ Nothin'.
It's just this
annoying little laugh.
You know what? Maybe
the phone cord's tickling him.
Happens to me all the time.
What you ladies need is a
man to answer the phone.
Allow me.
Crank callers are often
intimidated by the male voice.
Listen up, you low life. Stop
calling here and harassing
decent citizens and you get‐‐.
Fine!
Regine. O‐oh, your
mother can curse.
Hey, Max. So, how did it go with
the coupons at the court house?
Well, I got a citation
for littering and, uh..
I was hit on by a flasher.
Now, that's a step up for you.
It's a step up from you.
Don't worry, Max, everything's
gonna work out just fine.
Haven't you been listening?
I went down to the
court house with coupons
and still came up with nothin'!
I heard you!
I was just tryin' to be
encouraging and friendly
but if want this straight,
don't miss missy
you're in deep yogurt.
I didn't wanna go there, man.
Look, Max, you've been trying
for months to get legal work.
Now, right now,
you just need a job.
I know. You think I like
waking up in the morning
and hanging around here all day?
You mean you hate it, too?
My problem is the only
thing that I'm trained to do..
Is to be a lawyer.
Now, come on, look at the ads.
"Book keeper. Basic
accountin'. Secretary shorthand.
Word processor 80
words per minute."
Synclaire is more qualified
to get a job than I am.
No, she's not.
Well, my uncle used to say.
If you want to stay employed..
You go in to a line of work
where people always need ya.
That's why he's known as the
Porta Potty King of Cleveland.
Now, Max, look at
this add, it's interesting.
"Telemarketing.
"Experienced entrepreneur
has quality product to be sold
"by articulate spokesperson.
Earn up to a thousand
dollars a week."
A $1000? Hmm.
That's four silk shirts,
two pairs of crepe pants
a bolero jacket and
a cup of caramel
at the Russian tea room.
Regine, that could've
been your mother.
I know.
Hello, stranger.
And welcome to
Galaxy Telemarketing.
I am Larry and you are?
Maxine Shaw, I'm here
for the telemarketing job.
It's yours, congratulations.
That's it? No interview?
Lemme explain something to you.
This is not a
highly skilled job.
Uh... neurosurgery.
That's a highly skilled job.
This, uh, not so much.
Oh, okay I don't have to do
any heavy breathing, do I?
Of course, not.
That's disgusting.
Uh, but of course,
if you find it to be
a highly effective selling
technique, then run with it.
Okay. What we sell here are
subliminal self
improvement tapes.
Each one with a
motivational message
that's recorded at
such a low volume
that only your subconscious
and cocker spaniels can hear it.
Sounds like waves crashing.
Ah, but your
subconscious is hearing.
"You're fat. Put that back."
And people really
buy these things, huh?
Huh?
Okay, well, is
there a health plan?
Of course, if you get sick,
we give you a tape that says.
"You're not sick."
A little subliminal tape humor.
Subconsciously, I'm laughing.
Here's your script and
here's your list of names.
Welcome to the amazing
world of phone sales.
Yes, yes, hello,
Mrs. Uh, Mangini.
"Mrs. Mangini.
"Have you ever said
to yourself, gee, I'm fat?
"Or Mrs. Mangini. Do you say,
gosh, I can't stop having sex
and it's ruining my life?"
It happens.
"Well, I.."
Hello?
Hello.
Mrs. Mangini hung up.
Don't worry about it. I always
use one of my ex‐wives
for the first test call.
Dial yourself silly.
Right.
Yes. Yes, hello,
Mr. Montonio. I'm calling..
Oh! Uno momento.
Okay.
Larry, Mr. Montonio
only speaks Spanish.
No problemo, flippo el scripto.
What is all this?
Aye, I'm using modern technology
to track down your crank caller.
We got the reel‐to‐reel.
We got a voice stress analyzer.
And your standard
ol' spectrograph.
That'll come in handy
when you're ready
to build your time
travelling DeLorean.
No, you need a flux
capacitor for that.
Anyway, by analyzing
the background noise
of several of the crank calls
I can hear, people
swearin' and cars honking.
So, I've narrowed it
down to New York City.
And I thought those
ears were just for nibbling.
Hmm, go on, get it.
Hello. Hey, Max.
So how's the new job?
On the suck scale,
it sucks, plus two.
Ow!
Your night with Kyle
only sucked, plus one.
Khadijah, you'd be amazed
who you find here at
the bottom of the barrel.
There's an accountant,
a disc jockey
an airline pilot. Hey,
doc. Gimme a cigarette.
Max, that job hasn't
got you smokin', has it?
Oh, no, no. I'm just holding
it for effect, you know.
It completes the pathetic image.
Larry, what are you doing?
Oh, don't mind me. Just
a little spring cleaning.
Anyway, you wouldn't
believe the office politics here.
Like this girl, Deloris.
Oh, she's been bucking for
the phone near the window.
Alright, everyone, put down
your phones, you're under arrest.
'Hey, what's goin' on?'
I think I'm about
to be handcuffed.
And I don't mean
that in a good way.
Alright, you know, peace
and love. Peace and love.
Peace and love.
Hey, hey. Has Khadijah got
back from bailin' out Max yet?
‐ Not yet. ‐ Oh, man, you know.
I really wish I had a
copy of Jailhouse Rock.
I want to blast it
when they drive up.
‐ You get that crank caller
yet? ‐ No, but I'm zeroin' in.
While analyzing the
tape, I distinctly heard
echoin' footsteps and a
splash of runnin' water.
So my guess is, the
culprit is either callin'
from the grand lobby
at the Waldorf Astoria
or is a guy in flamenco boots
carryin' a bucket of water.
Man..
‐ Maxie, you're okay?
‐ Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
And, Khadijah, thanks
again for bailing me out.
Oh, no problem.
Kyle said he'd reimburse me,
if I gave him the canceled check
with Max's bail written on it.
Yeah, yeah, laugh it
up, laugh it up, Kyle.
I wrote your name and
number on the holding cell wall.
Weren't you busy pumping
iron and watching game shows?
Aw‐w.
Show her some sympathy.
Bad enough she doesn't
have a man or a job.
Now, she's got this bad rap.
Well, Max, after being in jail, I
bet you'd never wanna spend
another moment cooped up in
a room with a bunch of women.
Enjoy your freedom.
Well, I'm not free.
I've been given a date
to show up in court.
But you did nothing wrong.
I know, but Galaxy
Telemarketing did.
They were taking money
for subliminal tapes
with no subliminal
messages on them.
My life is in the gutter.
Your life is gonna be fine,
'cause you're not guilty.
Being innocent does
not guarantee a quiddle.
I could be disbarred.
I could end up in prison.
Oh, man, I'm sorry you're
going through all this, Max.
Kyle is pitying me.
I have truly reached
the lowest point in my life.
Oh, don't despair,
Max. Hell is like Batman.
Here comes another
philosophical Jim.
Batman doesn't sit around
complaining about how diabolical
the Joker is or how
distracting Catwoman is in her..
Skin tight, pad leather unitard.
No! No!
He... he gets off
his back behind
and kick some
arch villain booty.
I have hit rock bottom because
that make complete sense to me.
Overton's right.
I am not going out like that.
I am not going
out without a fight.
Wow, Overton, your bad
speech really fired her up.
We can learn a lot from
our little animated friends.
'Like, when I was a kid..'
I used to like Fat Albert.
And then I thought, well, hey,
who's gonna get more women?
A superhero with a sweet ride
or a 200 pound seventh grader?
Oh, Max.
Look, I talked to Synclaire, she
doesn't know where Overton is.
Damn! What about you?
Did you bring what I asked for?
Yeah.
There's a little stick
in there you can, uh..
Spread the cheese
over the cracker with it.
Excuse me, are you Fred Mayer?
And you're asking
me that because..
‐ You're my public defender.
‐ Ah, it's great, I found you.
Look, I just suggest
you plead guilty
pay the fine, just
get it over with.
‐ What's your name?
‐ Maxine Shaw.
‐ Oh, you're the
lawyer. ‐ Exactly.
Have some idea how to get me
off 'cause I'm not pleading guilty.
Right, you better not mess
up 'cause we pay your salary.
Oh, great.
Disgruntled tax payers.
Widows or no widows. Guilty.
Next case.
Case number 496.
The people versus
Galaxy Telemarketing.
Maxine Shaw, first defendant.
Galaxy Telemarketing!
Larry Friedlander, what
are we selling this week?
Hello, Your Honor.
Have I ever told you how
lovely you look in that robe?
Settle down, Larry.
Your Honor, my client pleads..
Not guilty.
Not guilty.
Any particular reason?
Yes. For the two
hours Michelle worked
as a telemarketer
she made not one sale.
She made no sale,
she committed no crime.
It's as simple as that.
You were just handed this case
out in the hallway, weren't you?
I am going to fry.
Okay, how about this?
In State of California
versus Patty Hearst
the defense argued that a person
cannot be held responsible when
their mind is being controlled
by some outside force.
Your Honor, I contend
that Miss Maxine Shaw
was under the influence
of this Svengali, this
mastermind control..
Larry Friedlander.
Oh, stop.
Brain washed, huh?
Okay, I'm ready to rule‐‐.
Your Honor, I'm an attorney.
I'd like to go pro se
and represent myself.
‐ No offense,
Fred. ‐ None taken.
My next move is gonna
be the insanity plea.
I'll save that for Larry.
Miss Shaw, if you think you
can top the Patty Hearst thing..
Your Honor.
The police records
indicate that only one person
led the offices of
Galaxy Telemarketing.
Why?
Because only one man knew
what he was doing was illegal.
That man, Lawrence
J Friedlander.
You'll never work in the
telemarketing industry again.
I made you and I can break you.
‐ Sit. ‐ Sorry.
Now, had I known..
Had any of us known that what
we were involved in was illegal
wouldn't one of us
run from the police?
But we didn't
run. Not one of us.
Because we had no
knowledge and therefore
no intent to commit fraud.
Do you have any evidence?
Not at this time, Your Honor.
Your Honor, I've known this
woman since freshman year
in college and she's
always been honest.
If there was some law against
being honest she'd be arrested.
But then it'd be a crime,
so she wouldn't do it.
You know what I'm sayin'.
Hold that gavel.
Another friend of the defendant?
‐ Did you get the tape? ‐
And this along with the tape.
Your Honor, I call
Overton Wakefield Jones
to the stand.
Now, Mr. Jones..
You have been
recording all phone calls
coming into Miss
James apartment.
Is that correct?
Is that correct?
Yes, yes, at the
ladies request I was
tryin' to track down a
crank caller. Don't you see?
Mr. Jones, please tell the
court what is on this tape.
It's a conversation
between you and Khadijah
at the precise moment
the police came in.
Further long on the tape is
the best of Boosie Collins..
I don't see how that
figures into this case.
‐ Uh, Boosie a bass
player. ‐ P‐Funk, yeah.
Your Honor, this recording
will prove that I had absolutely
no knowledge those
tapes were fraudulent.
In fact, I was having a
personal conversation
and therefore was not
engaged in phone fraud
when the police arrived.
I was not seen doing it.
I was not heard doing it.
And this is all to say
very simply, Your Honor.
I didn't do it.
That's a very compelling
argument, Miss Shaw.
Pending my verification
of the tapes authenticity..
You're case is dismissed.
Yes. Oh, you did it, baby.
Max, I'm Deloris.
Right, you were selling that
impotence could be sexy tape.
Will you represent me?
If that's alright with
you, Your Honor?
Would anybody else like to
be represented my Miss Shaw?
Put your hand down, Larry.
Oh, check me out,
people, I'm free.
Well, you get what you pay for.
My girl worked
it in court today.
Not only did she clear
herself off the charges..
But she cleared everybody else
and got her a date
with that cute bailiff.
Yes, being back in court
gave me such a rush.
After gettin' a glimpse into
the workings of our legal system
I realized that Matlock pretty
much tells it the way it is.
Nobody get that,
that's that crank caller.
Could be for me. Put your
number on my answering machine.
Hello.
Oh, how are you?
Is that right?
Is that right?
Is that right?
‐ Is that right? ‐ Hell,
I guess that's right.
Well, alright.
It's the public
defenders office.
Judge Glazer was so impressed
with me that she put in a word.
‐ What? ‐ Low pay, long hours?
I'll take it.
See you Monday.
I got a job.
‐ Yes. ‐ Yeah, ha, ha, yeah.
Max, you're gonna
be a public defender.
You're gonna
work for the people.
‐ Freak the people,
I got a job. ‐ Yeah.
Hey, this caller ID phone
Overton installed really works.
We got the crank
caller's number.
Oh, shoot. He's gonna be
sorry he ever called this house.
Listen up, you punk,
if you think for a min‐‐.
What?
Oh!
What's your name, little boy?
Andy.
Have you been callin' here?
Well, you know, Andy,
what you doin' is wrong.
I could call the police.
What you mean the
police work for your dad?
Look, stop making
up stories, young man
and don't call here
anymore, okay?
Crazy kid. Says his
father's the mayor.