Living Single (1993–1998): Season 1, Episode 20 - Hot Fun in the Wintertime - full transcript

Uh, what do you say that..

Uh, we finish this
conversation upstairs, huh?

Hmm. I don't know.

I think we could
chat a little bit.

‐ Yeah. ‐ Just a little bit.

Hey, Kyle. Oh, Kyle.

Your wife was here, man.

Well, don't worry,
I covered for you.

Don't even thank me.

Gee. Come on.

What was that all about?



Look, she's lyin'
because she's evil.

She doesn't even live here.

Why did she just walk
into that apartment?

Oh, o‐okay, okay, okay.

‐ Look, this is what
it is‐‐ ‐ Uh, shh.

Explain it to your wife.

She bought that?

She is so easy.

I know.

♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪

♪ What you want?
No free position ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Single ♪
♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living
the single life yeah ♪



♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a
'90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up what? ♪

♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Haa ♪

Whoa! It is dangerously
cold out there.

I left the house with wet hair

went to tug it underneath my hat

damn near broke off a braid.

Yeah, well, it's a
105 degrees in here.

One of my wigs just melted.

‐ What? ‐ Well, I
checked the radiators.

And they're definitely
runnin' a tad on the hot side.

We're sweatin'
like pigs in here.

Tell me somethin' I don't know.

Oh, pigs don't sweat.

Oh, man, this is just great.

My party is in two days.

How is anybody
gonna enjoy himself

if it's too hot for me to
wear my new catsuit?

Wait a minute.
Ooh, wait a minute.

I‐I‐I feel a motif comin' on.

Beach party, uh‐huh?
Uh‐huh. Tropical drinks.

Ooh, ooh. Me in a sexy sarong.

It will work!

Maxine Shaw, you are gonna
pay for ruinin' my date last night.

‐ Ugh. ‐ Look, uh, let me go.

I got two words for
you. Don't sleep, a'ight.

And I got two words for you, ha!

'Alright, we have lucky caller
number 19 on the phone.'

'Am I on the radio?'

Hey, that sounded
like Synclaire.

‐ 'Where are you callin'
from?' ‐ 'My bedroom.'

‐ That's certainly
Synclaire. ‐ Synclaire, yeah.

'Okay, are you ready to answer'

'our Party In Paradise
trivia question?'

‐ Ready. ‐ 'Alright then.'

'Here's your question.'

'Diana Ross left The
Supremes in 1970.'

'What is the name of the
singer who replaced her?'

‐ Oh, okay. ‐ Oh, um, um..

‐ Um, um.. ‐ Uh, uh, who is it?

'Okay, who replaced Diana Ross?'

Was it Jean Terrell?

Gee, what are you doing?

'Caller number 19, you're
our Party In Paradise winner.'

Oh, um, uh..

Not in front of the tenants.

She won a radio trivia contest.

Wow, beauty and brains
both. Somebody, pinch me.

So, Synclaire, what did you win?

An all‐expense paid trip
for two to Paradise Island.

Woo! Girl, that's
the Bahamas. Mmm.

Oh, God, that's duty free.

That'll be you and, uh,
another person other than you.

Well, then there's
nothin' more romantic

than goin' to a tropical island

with somebody who's
been workin' out lately

and probably looks
real good in a Speedo.

Overton, man, I can't go.

Synclaire, now look. You
take whoever you want.

Never mind about family

and advancement
in the workplace.

Come here, girl. Step over here.

One important fact
you should be aware of

I know the ropes. I'm
an international traveler.

‐ No, you're not. ‐ My
luggage went to Paris.

Synclaire, look, baby,
this is your chance

to give me the vacation
I've only dreamed about.

A week of blissful
peace and quiet.

‐ Please take her. ‐
Okay. Pinhead's got a point.

Max, you are wasting
your time, alright?

Now I would love to go too.

But we're up against a
first cousin and a boyfriend.

We ain't goin'.

Now even the
leprechaun's making sense.

‐ Oh, see‐‐ ‐ It must be the..

Hold me back, hold‐hold me back.

Stop lookin' at me
like I'm a pork chop.

Should I do the filing?

Oh, nuts.

Can I get you some coffee?

Gee, thanks, Khadijah.

Don't mention it.

Ah, one lump or two?

Two, please.

Non‐dairy creamer?

A smidge.

Oh. What? You're not having any?

As stressed as I am, huh,
coffee is the last thing I need.

Oh, Khadijah, are you alright?

Fine. Ah.

‐ Just a little migraine. ‐ Oh.

Well, maybe you
should see a doctor.

I've seen the doctor.

Basically, he says
I need a vacation.

Sure, I could clear
my schedule next week

but where would I go?

Oh, Khadijah, I
feel so sorry for you.

Oh, man, stress
comes with the territory.

No. That you would stoop so low

to try to get a
free trip out of me.

‐ Is it workin'? ‐ No.

Oh, come on.

Alright, okay. Alright, look.

Here it is.

I would really love to
go on this trip with you.

I think we will have
a good time together.

But it's your decision.

And I'll do anything I can
to influence that decision.

I'm reaching into
my bag of tricks.

Ooh, look what I pulled out!

Take the rest of the day off.

‐ Are you sure? ‐
Yes, of course, I'm sure.

Go home. Relax and, and think.

Take your time. Think hard.

Yeah, let's go see that.

I hear it's a really good movie.

‐ Yeah. ‐ We
should check it out.

‐ Oh, Max. ‐ Okay,
let's go. Let's go, man.

You're headin' out
with, uh, Michael, isn't it?

‐ Yeah, how you doin',
man? ‐ I'm fine, man.

‐ Alright. ‐ Where
are you headed to?

‐ Uh‐‐ ‐ Why do you wanna know?

Max. Uh, we're going
to revival theater.

Ah, the one over on 12th Street.

‐ Yeah, that's the one. ‐
It's none of your business.

Uh, we're going to
see "Suspicion," man.

Ah, "Suspicion."

You know, I love the way
Hitchcock builds suspense.

You never see it coming. Never.

‐ Enjoy your movie,
man. ‐ Alright, brother.

Yo, Kyle. What are you up to?

What? I'm just making
conversation, baby.

‐ Yeah, Max,
relax. ‐ Oh, oh, wait.

He got to you, too, didn't he?

Oh, you two in
this together. Okay.

Uh, Max, I, I think you've
been working too hard.

‐ Come on. ‐ Yes,
yes, yes, yes, I have.

In fact, let me take
a rain check on that.

I'm not goin' out like that.

Whatever you say.

Uh, give me a call
when you're feelin' better.

‐ Take it easy, man. ‐ Peace.

See, I don't know
what you had planned

but it's not goin' down tonight.

Au contraire.

It just did.

Your man is gone.

Yo, Overton, man.
Here, try this on.

Hmm. Oh, no, Kyle.

Do you wanna go
on this vacation?

‐ Yeah. ‐ Then
put the jacket on.

Uh‐huh.

‐ Yeah. ‐ Yeah.

‐ I like this. ‐ Yeah.

Makes me look like
Billy Dee William.

In "Mahogany," not "Star Wars."

Whatever, man. Alright.

Let's check the rest
of the arsenal, alright?

‐ Alright. ‐ You
have your Beaujolais?

You've got your
aromatherapy candles?

That's right. Yeah.

You've got your
environmental mood disc CD.

Paradise Island.

Coincidence? Ha, I think not.

Oh, no. This
whole thing isn't me.

Of course not. It's me.

Which is why tonight, for
a change, you will succeed.

Synclaire is going to choose
you to go to the Bahamas. Aha!

Ah, it's magic time.

Good evening.

Oh, this was such a
sweet idea, Overton.

Well, I figured this
would be a great way

for my hardworking
baby to end the day.

What are you wearing?

It's silk. You like it?

‐ Thank you. ‐ To you, my pet.

Mmm.

Delightful.

So, uh, how was your day?

Well, honestly, Overton,
all I've been thinking about

is who I'm gonna
take to the Bahamas.

Khadijah really,
really wants to go.

Oh, uh, really?

Kind of paints a
picture, doesn't it?

A man, a woman, a beach.

Sand in their
hair, in their trunks

between their toes

rollin' around on the sand.

Do they look like two
nut clusters on the beach?

Guess I've got a
lot to think about.

Yes, and you should
think about it rationally

calmly and with a clear head.

More wine?

Oh, no, I don't think so.

You know it goes
straight to my head.

Alrighty.

Oh, hell. I can't do this.

I mean, this isn't me.

‐ Well, then who
is it? ‐ It's him.

Look, baby, I really
wanna go on this trip

but not like this.

And definitely
not in this jacket.

Well, the truth is I wanna
take everybody, but I can't.

I understand, but let me
just leave you with this.

There once was a
young boy from Cleveland

who never traveled
beyond the corner store

but every night he read
books about faraway places

and vowed that he, one
day, would see the world.

And that young boy was you.

No, but I'd really like to go.

‐ Hey, Synclaire. ‐
Don't say another word.

Don't give me the day
off, don't offer me any wine

don't hand me
any of those chips.

These are my chips.

I'm sorry. I've had
a really rough day.

Aww. Well, maybe it
would help you relax

if you took a really deep breath

and then exhaled
into one of these.

Everybody's been
pressuring me about this trip.

If I take Khadijah, Overton
will never forgive me.

If I take Overton,
Khadijah will be mad at me.

I mean, what is the point
of winning a fabulous trip

if I can't enjoy it?

Synclaire, don't you
let these folks upset you.

Now truth be told, you
can't please everybody

in a situation like this.

You've got that right.

It is your decision here and
you take who you wanna take.

And if these people
still can't act right

you cash in that extra ticket

buy yourself some real
clothes and then go by yourself.

Now that is not a bad
idea. Thank you, Regine.

Oh, please, stop trippin'.

‐ What's up, people? ‐ Hey.

Khadijah, I thought I saw you.

‐ What y'all talkin'
about? ‐ Nothin'.

Unless Synclaire has
somethin' to tell me.

‐ Or me. ‐ Or me.

Or I.

Yes, I've made my decision.
Thought long and hard.

I'm takin' Regine.

Do you see what happens when
all you think about is yourself?

♪ I'm goin' to the Bahamas
I'm goin' to the Bahamas ♪

♪ Bahama‐bound
baby Bahama‐bound ♪

Nice goin', money grip.

I see you managed
to weasel yourself

a trip to the Bahamas,
didn't ya? Didn't ya?

Didn't ya? Didn't ya?

How could you
take that naive angel

and wrap her around
your wicked little finger?

Please. I did not
manipulate Synclaire.

'Cause if I did, I'd
have both tickets, duh.

Are you tryin' to tell
me that Synclaire

made this decision on her own?

I would love to take
the credit, but I can't.

I don't believe Synclaire.

You? She really let me down.

Now, now don't be poor sports.

I'm sure the next
time Synclaire wins

a once‐in‐a‐lifetime
dream vacation

I'm sure she'll take one of you.

You missed! Oh.

Wow! What a turnout.

Yeah, you know your
party got it goin' on

when you don't
know half the people.

Oh.

Here's a little
drink I concocted.

I call it a tropical stone.

‐ Alright. ‐ Mm. What's in it?

‐ Rum. ‐ What else?

Umbrella.

Oh, absolutely.

You know, I have
over 1500 albums

and if you'd like
to listen to them all

they're right upstairs.

Hm.

Excuse me, aren't
you, uh, Kyle Barker?

‐ Oh, yes, I am. ‐ For you.

What's this?

Subpoena for non‐payment
of child support.

What?

This one's for
indecent exposure.

Excuse me.

"By order of the
Honorable Maxine Shaw."

Booyaka! Booyaka! Boom, boom!

Max! There you are, girl.

‐ Goldie! ‐ Yeah, that's right.

I'm back in the house.

‐ What are you doin'
here? ‐ I got your note.

Of course, I'd take you
back. I love you, girl.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. What note?

Uh, Max, you wanna
introduce me to your friend?

He's not my friend.

He's just some gold‐tooth
nut I met in a club.

Oh, look at that.

My baby girl remember
every little detail.

You're on your way
out, partner, start walkin'.

Now get over here
and get Goldie‐‐.

Oh, my God! Okay, look here.

Alright, alright. I did
not write this man a note.

Kyle is behind this.

Look, I ain't got
time for this, man.

Look, when you and
Kyle are finished playin'

your little games, why
don't you give me a call?

Damn.

See you later, Goldie.

‐ So you havin' a good
time? ‐ No. Ask me why.

I'm scared to.

What did I tell you?

I can't believe
you're not takin' me.

I'm your own cousin.

Oh, Khadijah, really, you're
being a little petty now.

Let me explain
somethin' to you, Lucy.

I am family and family means

you take care of
'em when they're sick

you help them when they're down
and you take 'em to the Bahamas.

Five, four, three, two‐‐.

Alright, Kyle.

This has got to stop.

I take it Goldie showed up.

Yes, alright and
enough is enough.

Inviting Goldie here
was just plain sick.

Oh, you're right and what
about the subpoena, huh?

That was brilliant.

Max, why do we keep
going at each other like this?

It's some sort of
twisted compulsion.

You know, you're like a
carton of month old milk.

You know it's bad, but
you just have to smell it.

I know what you
mean. You're like a wart.

‐ How so? ‐ You're ugly.

You know your wit
is devastating. Whoo!

You know what's
really goin' on here.

Is it possible that perhaps
underneath all the layers

of contempt and animosity
and, and bitterness

that we feel for each other

that there lies a
small bit of respect?

Perhaps even, dare I
say it, some affection?

‐ Hmm? Gotcha! ‐ No,
you didn't! You did not!

Right here in the palm out here.

Of course not!

‐ Lies! ‐ Like this.

Phoo, blew you away.

Hey, Obie.

Ah, don't Obie me, woman.

Oh, are you mad at me too?

You were thinkin'
maybe I wouldn't be?

Baby, I thought we
had somethin' goin' on.

Me too. Don't
take it personally.

It's kind of hard not
to when next week

I'll be in the basement and
you'll be in the Bahamas.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I've got some minglin' to do.

Hey, girl.

Oh, you look like you
just lost all your sheep.

Alright, it's time to put
an end to this madness.

Overton, Khadijah,
your attention, please.

I am about to do something
incredibly generous.

Oh, here we go.

Another 1% discount
at the boutique.

Anyway, listen,
Synclaire does not really

wanna take me to the Bahamas.

I'm just a convenient way out.

So I'm willing to sacrifice
my week of fun in the sun

so that she can take one of you.

You givin' up somethin'
for someone else?

Yeah, I'm a little
dubious myself.

Doin' something nice
has its own reward

and I'm not about to let your
cynicism take that away from me.

Regine, I just booked
that condo in Aspen.

Were you able to get
out of that Bahamas thing?

And that's all I have
to say to you people.

Let's go, Steve.

So who is it gonna be?

I'm taking Overton.

My baby's come to her senses.

Oh, now I've hurt your feelings.

No, it's not that.

It's just you never dissed
me for a man before.

My little cuz is growin' up.

I'm so proud.

Max.

Kyle, get away from me.

Look, look, Max, now I
know we've been takin'

some pretty good shots
at each other lately, right?

But earlier today, I set
some wheels in motion‐‐

What are you babblin' about?

'Maxine Shaw, we have
the building surrounded.'

'Come out with your hands up.'

Oh, well.