Living Single (1993–1998): Season 1, Episode 10 - Quittin' Time - full transcript

Gin.

Synclaire, we're playing poker.

Tough noogies, I have gin.

Ooh, I know that face.

‐ Bad day, huh? ‐ What a loser.

His credit card
didn't go through.

Oh, no. Well, I hope
you didn't offer to pay.

Oh, please, girl. I left him
pullin' lint out of his pocket.

Well, why don't
you just join us?

Yeah, girl. All for
one, one for all.

‐ Oh, wow. Thanks, you guys.
‐ Hey, you're a sister, okay?



When it happens to
you, it happens to us.

When you hurt, we all hurt.

Power to the people.

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Oh, sure. Okay.

Bye‐bye.

‐ Bye. ‐ Where are you goin'?

To meet up with Alonzo,
my favorite fireman.

Are you done with this?

Hey, what about all
that all for one stuff?

Girl, I'm doing this for you.

If I have a good time,
we all have a good time.

Yeah.



♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪

♪ Do what you want
no free position ♪

♪ We Are Living Single ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living
the single life ♪

♪ We Are Living Single ♪

♪ Ooh in the 90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep ya head up what
keep ya head up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪

♪ You gotta fight
with my home girl ♪

♪ Standing to my
left and my right ♪

♪ True‐blue and
tight like glue ♪

♪ We Are Living Single ♪

♪ In the 90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

Call me back as
soon as you know.

Alright, thank you.
Synclaire, check it out.

Whoopi Goldberg might
do our cover next month.

‐ Yes! Whoopi's on the cover.
‐ I said, I said maybe. Maybe.

Here, rub Timmy
Troll's tummy for luck.

I'm not rubbing
that ugly little thing.

Fine, take your chances.

Flavor Magazine, news
and views for you to peruse.

Okay, please hold and be
held by the soothing sounds

of Luther Vandross.

Khadijah, it's Frank from
the distributing company.

I don't wanna talk to
that no‐butt rip‐off artist.

He wants 50 bucks for a
job he didn't even finish.

Just tell him I left.

'Hello, Khadijah.'

'It's no‐butt Frank.
Got a minute?'

They put the speaker button

and the hold button
so close together.

Hi, Frank.

Got you with my Khadijah
impression, didn't I?

Oh, you wanna
hear it again? Okay.

Frank, you'll see your
money when hell freezes over.

Good, wasn't I?

Seriously, I'll tell Khadijah
you had called. Bye.

Hey, Khadijah, finished fillin'
out those papers. Thanks a lot.

I won't let you down.

‐ That's why you
got the job. ‐ Alright.

What's that about?

Oh, Jonathan's gonna be
our new production manager.

You gave him a promotion?

Yeah.

Khadijah.

I was just closing my
eyes and trying to imagine

why you would give him
a promotion and not me.

I'm drawing a blank,
how about you?

Synclaire, Jonathan has
a degree in journalism.

He's been here longer
and he doesn't spend

his lunch hours re‐enacting
the Rhythm Nation video

with 30 half‐naked trolls.

Hey, those little guys
spread joy and happiness

throughout this office.

Well, I'll give
them a promotion.

Khadijah, I demand
more responsibility.

Okay, Synclaire, what is it
exactly that you wanna do?

Y‐you want me to tell you now?

Yes.

Can I get back to you?

This could take a while.

That's the plan.

Thanks to my fancy wiring.

This little remote
can now control

the TV, VCR, CD
and the tape deck.

And the lights.

Hi.

Hi. No song, no cheer
no good evening poem?

You alright?

‐ I'm fine. ‐ Okay.

Alright, you broke me.

Khadijah gave
someone a promotion

and when I asked for one,
she was totally unreasonable.

How?

She asked me what
I wanted to do. Ugh!

Overton, man..

What are you doing down here?

The lights keep flickin'
on and off upstairs.

What are you tryin'
to do, man? Kill me?

It's the sacrifice we must
make in the name of progress.

Oh, I got your sacrifice.
Let me tell you‐‐.

Could we either dial 911 or
get back to my problem, please?

Thank you.

Why, baby, what's the matter?

Just trying to figure out
what I wanna do with my life.

Synclaire, it's easy.

You pick something
that you enjoy

and you turn that into a career.

Mm‐hm, that's what I did.

I like, I love shopping, so
I'm a buyer for a boutique.

And sometimes, you can
have a career that matters.

Such as mine, you know,
the art of making money

make money is intricate
and complex and arcane.

In fact, some
people think that‐‐.

Oh, Max. What made you
wanna become a lawyer?

Well, I've always enjoyed
arguing. I'm always right.

Case closed.

Well, I ain't really have
a choice in my career.

When I was eight,
my daddy sat me down

and told me I was
gonna be a handyman.

Oh, sure. I rebelled like
most young scamps. I..

I tried roofing,
carpentry, the fine arts.

Then my daddy sat me
down again and he said.

"Son, take off that beret
and go in and fix the sink."

See, I can't find the same
direction all of you have.

Oh, Synclaire, come on
now. What are your goals?

‐ Don't you have any
dreams? ‐ Oh, I have dreams.

I'd like to feed all
the hungry children.

I'd like to cure all the
diseases that infect our trees.

I'd like to be the office
manager at a magazine.

I'd like to, "Hey, back
up. Oh. There it is!"

I could do that.

No, not yet, Overton.
She's still in her office.

Probably promoting
somebody else.

Here she comes. Hold on.
I'll let you know how it goes.

Khadijah, I've made a
decision about what I wanna do.

You had help with
this, didn't you?

Maybe, but that's not the point.

I wanna be the office manager.

Synclaire, you're not
ready to run this office.

I knew you were gonna
say that. So sit down.

You know I only
sit for bad news.

I called the printer and got
him to make us a great deal.

He's gonna charge us
one‐third less per magazine

and all I had to do was
order twice as many copies.

Isn't that incredible
and responsible?

Don't you get all gushy, girl.

Flowers and my
promotion will do nicely.

Synclaire, we don't
have the circulation to sell

that many magazines.

You know, you could be
a little more supportive.

Supportive?

I gave you a job when you were
fresh off the bus runnin' around

tossin' your hat in the
air like Mary Tyler Moore.

Well, you're no Mr. Grant.

A good boss knows how to get
the most out of her employees.

You just keep everybody
down with your temper.

I do not have a temper.

Does anyone think
I have a temper?

'I'd have to go with a yes.'

'Just a handyman's opinion.'

You see? You did it again.

Just like you, pointing
out the negative.

What about all the other
times I hung up properly, huh?

I swear, if you
weren't family, yo‐‐.

If I weren't family, what?

Look, you know what?
Let's not even take it there.

No, no. If I weren't
family, what?

‐ You'd fire me? ‐ Synclaire‐‐.

Well, you can't fire
me. 'Cause I quit. Hah!

'Synclaire, I'm back
from the bathroom.'

'What did I miss?'

Overton, are you
still working on this?

Baby, for 20 bucks, I can buy
a remote that does all of this.

Oh, sure. And put another
American out of a job.

Attention, everyone.

I'm proud to announce
that I'm no longer working

for the oppressive
management of Flavor Magazine.

I am also scared to announce
that I am unemployed and broke.

Today, Khadijah made it
very clear that she doesn't

respect me or
appreciate my skills.

Maybe you'd like to be a
handyman's apprentice.

Nah, I'd look terrible
in a tool belt. Thanks.

Is there anything that I can do?

Well, my resume
looks a little skimpy.

Can you guys take a look
and see what you think?

Got any more relatives in town?

Let me see.

Well, girl, here's your
problem. All this stuff is true.

You got to be creative.

You see here where it
says you were a cashier?

No, no, no, no, no.

You were a retail
services output processor.

Mm‐hm.

And here, phone sales, mm‐mm..

Telecommunications
market researcher.

Yes.

Yeah, and here where
it say baby‐sitter?

How about stayed
up late with kids?

Alright. I'm liking that.

‐ What's up, Synclaire? ‐
Someone addressing me?

Yeah, Khadijah. The
person you walked out on.

The person who spent the
rest of the day answering phones

sorting mail and undoing a
six‐mile long paperclip chain.

Aw, well, a bad
mechanic blames his tools.

I find that a sign
of immaturity.

Now, if you'll all excuse
me, there's just one too many.

Khadijah's in this room. Hm.

Khadijah, I cannot believe you.

I can't believe that you would
force your own cousin to quit.

‐ I didn't fire‐‐ ‐
Have you no sympathy?

‐ Dang, yo‐‐ ‐ Have
you no compassion?

And if she can't pay her
rent, she out on the street.

Well, hell, she can
stay upstairs with me.

What about Kyle?

Kyle can move down here.

See? This is all
working out very nicely.

Khadijah, was Synclaire
that bad at work?

Look, I gave her a job.
She wasn't good at it.

She walked out. What was I
to do? Beg her to come back?

I don't think so.

Look, I already
found a replacement.

Well, I guess
business is business.

That's right, and
this is for the best.

Maybe now Synclaire
will stop leaning on me

and stand up for herself.

Khadijah, I have
something to say to you.

So listen up, miss missy.

I could use a letter
of recommendation

at your convenience.

I thank you.

Ah, Synclaire James,
why don't you have a seat?

‐ Tell me a bit about
yourself. ‐ Okay.

Well, I was born
in Minneapolis‐‐.

Let's start a little later.

Oh, well, in junior
high, I ran for‐‐.

Later.

‐ Well, this morning,
I had‐‐ ‐ Earlier.

Well, when I first
got to New York, I‐‐.

On my way over here..

‐ On my last
job‐‐ ‐ Right there.

Great. Well, I was
the executive assistant

to the publisher of a magazine.

Now we're getting somewhere.

But I'd, uh, rather not
talk about that right now.

Sure, why talk about work
experience at a job interview.

Perhaps you, uh, have a resume?

Notice the high quality paper.

Oh, retail output processor.

You were a cashier.

And a darn good one. Watch this.

Clean up on isle
seven. Check please.

Managers in the front, please.

Bag boy. Price
check. Price check.

You know, Miss
James, I‐I think‐‐.

Oh, Mr. Larson,
please don't say it.

Please, please don't say it.

Don't say, "Don't
call us, we'll call you."

That's the kiss of death.

We'll keep in touch.

Yes.

Good morning, Eunetta.
Welcome to Flavor.

I prefer Mrs. Ryan
in the workplace.

Oh, we're pretty
informal around here‐‐.

Mrs. Ryan.

You‐kay, Mrs. Ryan.
Is there any mails?

Initial here, please.

Excuse me?

Nothing leaves my desk
unless it's signed out.

But it's my mail.

Yes, dear. Sign here, please.

Flavor.

Hold please.

Will there be anything else?

Well, maybe you can answer
the phone with a little more warmth.

Of course.

Flavor.

Much better.

I'll connect you
to that department.

You seem to have
everything under control.

I do have one question.

What is this?

Oh, that's a troll.

He's supposed to spread joy and
happiness throughout the office.

Yes.

Well, that's my job now.

I got a job.

I'm working at the
Turkey Burger Hut.

Congratulations.

And I love their slogan too.

"Take Your Beef Somewhere Else."

Yup. We have a song too.

Don't.

Question.

What's the secret for making
the gobble shake so thick?

We add a dash of
real milk in each one.

That's why they stay on top.

‐ Hey, girl. ‐ Hey, yo.

Hey! How'd your first day
with your new assistant go?

She's efficient,
she's organized..

Girl, she got
that office running

like a well‐oiled machine.

She's driving you crazy, huh?

I just want to rip the
hair off her chintz.

So why don't you
just get rid of her.

And look like I can't
keep an assistant?

Oh, no, I'm not coming out
of this one looking stupid.

Hey, guess what? I got a job.

So I see.

Hey, has anyone asked you
why you crossed the road today?

Hardy‐har‐har. I'm laughing.

For your FYI, I am a
turkey, not a chicken.

Hey, hey, either way, girl,
you are poultry with a paycheck.

Yes.

And there's more.

I only worked four hours
and they promoted me

to the assistant manager.

Sounds like things are working
out pretty well for both of us.

My new assistant..

I can't say enough about her.

Let me tell ya, at
the Turkey Hut..

I'm climbing to the top.

As Max once told me,
"Doesn't matter who you step on

if you're not coming back down."

I said that?

I like it. Yeah.

So, Synclaire, are
you really happy?

Yeah.

Leaving Flavor
was the best thing

I could've done for myself.

At the Turkey Hut, I
rediscovered something

I was beginning to lose.

My dignity. Goodnight all.

Flavor.

I'll give her the message.

Whoopi Goldberg has
agreed to do your cover.

Whoopi agreed to do the cover?

Woo! Whoopi agreed
to do the cover.

Aren't you excited?

If I had my leotard,
I'd do a handspring.

Synclaire would get excited.

Oh, may I help you?

I just came to get
something from my desk.

‐ You must be
Synclaire. ‐ That's correct.

I came by to
officially say goodbye.

Well, this is a picture
of my dog, it's official.

Goodbye.

Synclaire?

Hi, Khadijah.

Uh, Miss James

I can't find the
correspondence file anywhere.

Here you go.

I've been trying to figure
out your filing system.

It's not chronological.
It's not alphabetical.

What is it?

It's emotional.

The things Khadijah loves to
hear about, I keep in the front.

Things that bother
her, I keep in the middle.

The things that really
get on her nerves

I keep out of her reach.

Really? You know that
much about how I feel?

Khadijah. You've been my
cousin almost my whole life.

I always know
how you are feeling.

Like right now.

You're a little surprised
and impressed, right?

Lucky guess.

So this old place
hasn't changed much

in the last two days, huh?

You miss it, huh?

Why do you ask?

Well, I was thinkin', maybe
if things don't work out

at Turkey Hut, you
could come back here.

‐ On a trial basis. ‐ Are
you offering me a job?

Are you saying you want a job?

Are you saying you'll
give me more responsibility

a raise and a title?

How does vice president
of inter‐office affairs sound?

Sounds good.

Do I get a raise?

Oh, it comes with
a salary review.

How does that work?

Well, you remember
what you used to make?

‐ Yeah. ‐ We just
reviewed your salary.

Deal.

I guess you can give notice to
Turkey Hut when you get back.

Oh, I got the day off.

Actually, I got everyday off.

When I found out turkey
nuggets were all nugget no turkey

I couldn't keep silent.

When could you?

Synclaire, you might not be
the best secretary in the world

but you do bring a certain
something to this place.

A certain happiness and cheer.

No, that's the trolls.

‐ But you do bring
the trolls. ‐ Hey!

And the best part, I
get to fire Mrs. Ryan.

You probably have
a lot of things to do.

Why don't you let the
new veep handle it?

I'll hug you later.

You, uh, got a minute?

I'm really busy. Can
you make it brief?

Certainly, you're fired.

Says who?

Says the VP of, uh,
inter‐office affairs.

Excuse me. You're at our desk.

Well.

Max, this is the last time
I'mma let you pick out movies.

Presumed Innocent?

The Verdict?

Legal Eagles?

Well, tomorrow, we'll
rent House Party 2

and you'll be happy.

Hey, hey. Hey, Khadijah.
You're home early.

Synclaire gave me the day off.

I knew you'd hire her back.

Well, she promised me she'd
take on more responsibility.

Matter of fact, she's at the
office right now closing up.

Aw. Well, good for Synclaire.

Good for you and
good for the rent.

Now, if I could get Max
to pay for all the time

she spends here, I
could live here rent‐free.

I pay with my advice.

Hey, hey.

Always lock the door.

Khadijah, you mind if
I watch TV with you?

Overton is upstairs
enhancing our remote.

‐ Go and grab
some couch. ‐ Cool.

So... I hear you
hired Synclaire back.

‐ When, you see
her? ‐ I‐I didn't.

But they're all abuzz
at the Turkey Hut.

They're just giving
away nuggets.

Hey, everybody.

Khadijah, the office
is locked up tight.

‐ Did you turn everything
off? ‐ Yes, Khadijah.

‐ The lights? ‐ Yes, Khadijah.

The copy machine, the computers?

Yes, Khadijah. Yes,
Khadijah. Relax.

I even flipped that little
switch by your desk.

The silent alarm?

I didn't hear anything.

‐ Welcome back,
Synclaire. ‐ Oops!

'Here's your mail.
Lalala lalalala.'

'Hey! I want a promotion.'

'You can't handle a promotion.'

'Well, then I quit.'

'Lalala lalalala.'

'Oh, Mrs. Ryan.'

'Hey, Synclaire, you
weren't so bad after all.'

'Lalala. I wasn't? Lalala.'

'You're fired.'

'Hey, let me close up, huh?'

'Don't touch the alarm.'

'A‐ah!'

'Yes.'