Little House on the Prairie (1974–1983): Season 6, Episode 12 - Crossed Connections - full transcript

When the telephone comes to Walnut Grove, Mrs. Olesen is hired as the switchboard operator. The telephone company is unaware that Mrs. Olesen loves to gossip, and her new job will simply be...

ALICE,
THANK YOU SO MUCH

FOR HELPING ME
PICK OUT MY PATTERN.

I ABSOLUTELY COULDN'T
MAKE UP MY MIND.

GLAD I COULD
BE OF HELP.

OH, JUST LOOK
AT THAT!

I NEVER THOUGHT
WE'D SEE THE DAY

WHEN THERE'D BE
TELEPHONE LINES
IN WALNUT GROVE.

NEITHER DID I.

LORD KNOWS
HOW ANYONE
CAN AFFORD IT,

THOUGH MY MOTHER
IN MINNEAPOLIS
HAS ONE.

FOOLISH WASTE
OF MONEY.



I MEAN, I DON'T
EVEN KNOW WHO
SHE'D TALK TO.

WANT TO GO IN
AND SEE HOW
THEY'RE DOING?

OH, I OUGHT
TO BE GETTING BACK.

I'VE GOT A ROAST
TO PUT IN THE OVEN.

IT WILL ONLY
TAKE A MINUTE.

ALL RIGHT.

HE'S GOING
TO TEST THE LINE.

OH.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

THERE YOU GO.

[SHOUTING]
WALNUT GROVE!

AAH!

[THUD]

WHY DID YOU
SCREAM AT ME?



THAT'S A LITTLE
LOUD, LADY.

JUST SPEAK IN
A NORMAL, CLEAR VOICE.

OH.

WA--

WALNUT GROVE.

Man: THAT'S BETTER, MA'AM.
HOW AM I COMING--

YES!
UH, JUST FINE.

Harriet:
JUST FINE.

Man: THEN I GUESS
YOU'RE ALL SET.

OH.

NOW, IS THERE
ANYTHING ELSE YOU LADIES
STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND?

I DON'T THINK SO.

NO, NO. IT'S
REALLY VERY
SIMPLE, ISN'T IT?

WELL, YOUR PART
OF IT IS.

YOU GOT A MONEY-MAKER
HERE, MRS. OLESON,
TAKING ON THIS FRANCHISE.

ORDERS ARE POURING IN
FROM ALL OVER THE STATE.

OH.

WELL, WE'VE
GOT WORK TO DO.

[LAUGHS]

OH, ALICE, CAROLINE!

ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

SCIENCE--
MODERN SCIENCE,

AND JUST THINK,
I BROUGHT IT
TO WALNUT GROVE.

WE'RE ALL
IN YOUR DEBT.

AH, I KNOW.

CAROLINE, ARE YOU
GOING TO GET A
TELEPHONE, TOO?

OH, I DON'T
THINK SO.

IT'S A LITTLE
COSTLY FOR US.

OH, HA HA!
OH, MY.

I'M SURPRISED
THAT YOU WOULD SAY

SUCH A THING
IN FRONT OF ALICE.
AFTER ALL--

AFTER ALL, SHE'S
MY BEST FRIEND,

AND I CAN SAY
ANYTHING I LIKE
IN FRONT OF HER.

YES. GOOD DAY,
MRS. OLESON.

UH--

I SWEAR, I WILL NEVER
UNDERSTAND THAT WOMAN

AS LONG AS I LIVE.

IT'S ONE THING
TO BE POOR,

BUT IT'S ANOTHER
THING TO ADMIT IT.

WELL, THE POOR
ARE IGNORANT,
MOTHER.

THAT'S WHY THEY
NEVER AMOUNT
TO ANYTHING.

AH, HOW TRUE,
HOW TRUE.

THANK HEAVENS,
WE'RE RICH.

AMEN.

Albert:
HOW MUCH
LONGER?

BE A WHILE YET.

SAY, SHOULDN'T YOU TWO
BE GETTING BACK TO SCHOOL?

WELL, I REALLY
WANTED TO STAY

AND WAIT TILL
THE FIRST CALL
COMES IN.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT--
AFTER SCHOOL,
YOU COME BACK,

AND I'LL PUT IN A CALL
TO MANKATO, AND
I'LL LET YOU TALK.

Albert:
OH, THAT'LL
BE GREAT.

-ME FIRST.
-NO, LADIES FIRST.

YOU'LL BOTH
GET A CHANCE.

GO ON, NOW.
BACK TO SCHOOL.

OKAY. THANKS,
MR. ANDERSON.
BYE.

SEE YOU
LATER, DOC.

Doc: BYE-BYE.

AFTERNOON, BILL.

HELLO, DOC.

SO, YOU'RE THE FIRST
TO GET ONE OF THOSE
CONTRAPTIONS, HUH?

YEAH.
I EXPECT IT'LL
IMPROVE BUSINESS.

HMM.
MINE, TOO.

FOLKS WON'T
BE SO SHY

ABOUT CALLING ME
OUT AT 2:00
IN THE MORNING

WHEN IT'S
MADE SO EASY.

OH, YOU'RE GETTING
ONE, THEN, HUH?

YEAH, TOMORROW.

BEING A DOCTOR,
I CAN'T SEE MY
WAY AROUND IT.

HA HA!

WELL, WHAT CAN I DO
FOR YOU, DOC?

WELL, UH, JONATHAN
WAS TELLING ME

HOW MUCH YOU MADE
OFF SELLING

THAT PHARMACEUTICAL
STOCK YOU INHERITED.

YEAH, I DID INDEED.
AN EXCELLENT PROFIT.

UH-HUH. WELL,
I WAS THINKING,

IF IT'S
ALL THAT GOOD,

MAYBE I
SHOULD BUY IN.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

DID I SAY
SOMETHING FUNNY?

OH, NOT REALLY.

I'M CERTAINLY GLAD
YOU BROUGHT IT UP,
THOUGH.

YOU'D HAVE LOST
YOUR SHIRT.

WHAT
DO YOU MEAN?

OH, SOMEBODY'LL
GET RICH, ALL RIGHT.

IT JUST
WOULDN'T BE YOU.

DOC, THAT STOCK IS
BEING MANIPULATED
TO GO UP.

I WARNED JONATHAN
TO GET OUT.

ANYTIME NOW,
IT'S GOING TO CRASH
RIGHT THROUGH THE FLOOR.

HOW DO
YOU KNOW THAT?

WELL, IN MY BUSINESS,
YOU LEARN TO SEE
THE SIGNS.

HA! ESPECIALLY WHEN
THEY'RE THAT OBVIOUS.

OH.

WELL, THANK YOU
FOR THE ADVICE.

I'M MUCH
OBLIGED.

YEAH, ANYTIME.

WHEN YOU CLOSE
UP, COME ON OVER
TO MY OFFICE,

AND I'LL GIVE
YOU SOMETHING
FOR THAT HEARTBURN.

HOW'D YOU KNOW
I HAD HEARTBURN?

IN MY BUSINESS,
YOU LEARN TO
SEE THE SIGNS.

Alice: THE ONLY THING
I DON'T LIKE

ARE THESE UGLY
TELEPHONE POLES.

THEY'VE PUT THEM
UP EVERYWHERE.

BUT I SUPPOSE
WE MUSTN'T STAND

IN THE WAY
OF PROGRESS.

Caroline:
THAT'S CERTAINLY TRUE.

Alice: JONATHAN'S
WAGON'S HERE.

I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM
TO BE HOME.

WILL YOU COME IN
FOR SOME COFFEE?

Caroline:
WHY, I BELIEVE I WILL.

Alice:
WHAT IN THE WORLD?

THEY'VE RUN
ONE OF THOSE WIRES
RIGHT TO OUR HOUSE.

Caroline:
MUST BE A MISTAKE.

Alice: WELL, THEY'RE
JUST GOING TO HAVE

TO COME AND TAKE IT
DOWN, THAT'S ALL.

JONATHAN?

WHAT IN THE WORLD?

A TELEPHONE?

THAT'S WHAT
THEY CALL IT.
HA HA!

WHY, I NEVER
IN THE WORLD EXPECTED.

YOU TRICKED ME.

OH, I HAD THAT PATTERN
PICKED OUT LONG AGO, HA HA!

I CAN'T GET OVER IT.

WELL, YOU KNOW,
THAT MONEY I GOT
FROM THE STOCK,

BEEN BURNING
A HOLE IN MY POCKET,

AND, WELL,
YOU'VE BEEN TALKING

ABOUT MISSING YOUR
MA SO MUCH LATELY

THAT WHEN
WE SAW YOU COMING,

I PUT IN A CALL
TO MINNEAPOLIS.

IT'LL BE COMING
THROUGH RIGHT AWAY.

OH, I JUST
CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

DO YOU LIKE IT?

OH, JONATHAN.
IT'S SO EXPENSIVE.

THAT AIN'T
WHAT I ASKED YOU.
DO YOU LIKE IT?

I LOVE IT!

HA HA!

YES, UH-HUH.

HA HA!

THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE
THE BANK'S FIRST CALL.

OH, JUST FINE, HAL.

HOW ARE THINGS
IN MANKATO?

HA HA!

GLAD TO HEAR IT.

Bill: YOU WERE FIRST ON
MY LIST OF PEOPLE TO CALL.

YOU CAN DO ME
A BIG FAVOR, HAL.

Hal: JUST NAME IT.
Bill: WELL, THERE'S A HORSE

RUNNING IN
TODAY'S THIRD RACE.
HER NAME'S DOMINO.

HONESTLY,
MOTHER!

Bill: I HAVE A VERY
HOT TIP HE'S GOING TO WIN.

WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW MY WIFE FEELS

ABOUT ME GOING
ALL THAT DISTANCE

JUST TO TAKE A CHANCE
ON LOSING MONEY.

SO, I SAID TO MYSELF,

WHY NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF HAVING A TELEPHONE?

Hal: I UNDERSTAND, BILL.

Bill: I KNEW
YOU WOULD! HA HA!

I WANT YOU TO PUT $10
ON THE NOSE FOR ME.

Hal: I'LL TAKE
CARE OF IT.

Bill: AND KEEP IT QUIET.

Hal: MY LIPS ARE SEALED.

Bill: THANKS, HAL,
AND TALK TO YOU TOMORROW.

Hal: RIGHT.

LISTENING IN TO
OTHER PEOPLE'S
CONVERSATIONS.

OH, WILL YOU SHUT UP?

AM I RUNNING THIS
TELEPHONE EXCHANGE
OR AM I NOT?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[GASPS]
WALNUT GROVE?

Woman: YOUR CALL TO
MINNEAPOLIS IS READY.

OH, UH, ONE
MOMENT PLEASE.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO. MOTHER?

Mother:
ALICE.

OH! I CAN'T
BELIEVE IT!

HA HA!

ISN'T THIS
JUST AMAZING?

I SHOULD SAY.
HOW ARE YOU?

-I'M FINE.
-AND THE FAMILY?

OH, EVERYBODY'S
JUST FINE.

ANDREW'S DOING WELL
IN SCHOOL.

HE'S GOT 3 "A"s
AND TWO "B"s
AND A "C."

-IN WHAT?
-HISTORY.

THAT IS
REALLY SOMETHING.

CHARLES, FEEL
FREE ANYTIME.

WHO AM I
GOING TO CALL?

[LAUGHTER]

YES, I WILL,
I WILL.

UH, UH-HUH.

OH. OH, OKAY.

UH, JONATHAN.
SHE WANTS TO
SAY HELLO.

HELLO, MA?

YEAH, YOU
SOUND GOOD, TOO.

YEAH, EVERYTHING'S
FINE AT THE MILL.

LISTEN,
I KNOW YOU WANT
TO TALK TO ALICE,

SO, I'M GOING TO GET
HER BACK ON HERE.

SHE'S RIGHT HERE.

YES, MOTHER?

ALICE, I WANT
TO TELL YOU--

THE STRANGEST
THING HAPPENED
THE OTHER DAY.

HAROLD STOPPED BY.

ALICE?

ALICE?

YES, MOTHER.

I WILL.
I'LL CALL YOU BACK
A LITTLE LATER.

DID YOU HEAR ME?

YES, I DID.

YOU CAN'T REALLY
TALK, CAN YOU?

NO, NOT REALLY.

CALL ME BACK
WHEN YOU'RE ALONE.

YES, I WILL.

IT'S SO GOOD
TO HEAR YOUR VOICE.

Alice:
GOOD-BYE.

THAT WAS QUICK.

SHE'S GOT A CAKE
IN THE OVEN,

AND SHE WAS
WORRIED ABOUT IT.

Alice:
I'LL CALL HER AGAIN
A LITTLE LATER.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, UH, I'M FINE.

YOU'RE SHAKING.

OH, UH...

I'M JUST SO EXCITED
THAT I CAN'T GET OVER
THE SURPRISE.

YOU DESERVE IT.

Charles: I, UH,
HATE TO BREAK UP
THE CELEBRATION,

BUT I THINK WE HAVE
SOME WORK TO DO.

YEAH. CHARLES HAS
GOT TO MAKE A DELIVERY

DOWN TO NORTHFIELD
DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

WE GOT A LOT OF WORK
LEFT TO DO.

I'LL DROP YOU
OFF ON THE WAY.

Caroline: OH, GOOD.

ALICE, ENJOY IT.

Alice: OH, I WILL.
Charles: TAKE CARE.

BYE.

OH, WELL, I--
I WON'T BE LONG.

Harriet: THANK YOU.

HELLO, MOTHER.

Alice: I CAN TALK, NOW.

HAROLD--

HE'S NOT COMING
HERE, IS HE?

Mother: OF COURSE NOT.

THE LAST THING HAROLD
WANTS IS TO INTERFERE
IN YOUR LIFE.

HE EVEN SAID SO.

OH...

THANK GOD.

ALICE.

HOW DOES HE LOOK?

WELL, 18 YEARS IN PRISON
HAS TO TAKE ITS TOLL.

YOU STILL HAVEN'T
TOLD JONATHAN?

NO.

WELL, IT'S YOUR
BUSINESS, OF COURSE,

BUT I THINK
IT'S FOOLISH.

YOU WERE ONLY MARRIED
TO HAROLD FOR 3 WEEKS,

AND YOU WERE
JUST A GIRL.

WELL, I CAN'T
TELL HIM NOW.

NOT NOW.

Harriet: NELLIE!
HA HA! NELLIE!

NELLIE!

OH, MR. ANDERSON
IS GOING TO LET US
USE HIS PHONE.

YOU WANT
TO COME LISTEN?

NOPE. WE GOT
OUR OWN PHONE.

WHAT?

PA'S GOING
TO SURPRISE MA
WITH IT TODAY.

OH, ANDY GARVEY,
YOU ARE SO LUCKY.

I KNOW.

Nellie: HELLO, ANDREW.

-OH, HI, NELLIE.
-I HEARD THE GOOD NEWS.

UH, WHAT
GOOD NEWS?

ABOUT
YOUR MOTHER'S
FIRST HUSBAND.

HE'S OUT
OF JAIL NOW.

ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'S THE REST
OF THE JOKE?

IT'S NOT A JOKE.
HIS NAME
IS HAROLD,

AND HE
WAS MARRIED
TO YOUR MOTHER.

THAT'S A DUMB LIE.

I THINK SO, TOO.
YOUR MOTHER SHOULD
HAVE TOLD THE TRUTH.

YOU STOP
TEASING HIM,
NELLIE.

Nellie: I'M NOT TEASING.

MY MOTHER TOLD ME
ALL ABOUT IT.

I'M GOING TO TELL
MY PA WHAT YOU SAID.

GOOD IDEA.

I BET HE'LL
BE SURPRISED.

Nellie: GO ON.

TELL HIM.

HAVE A NICE DAY,
LAURA.

NELS.

HELLO, JONATHAN.
WHAT A SURPRISE.

WHERE'S
YOUR WIFE?

SHE'S IN THE OFFICE.

-MRS. OLESON...
-HMM?

I'D LIKE
A WORD WITH YOU.

CERTAINLY,
MR. GARVEY.

HOW DARE YOU SPREAD
A VICIOUS LIE
ABOUT MY WIFE?

MR. GARVEY,
I DO NOT LIE.

YOU DO.

MY WIFE HAS NEVER
BEEN MARRIED BEFORE,
AND YOU KNOW IT.

SHE HAS BEEN,
AND I DO KNOW IT.

I HEARD HER
TALKING TO HER MOTHER
THIS AFTERNOON MYSELF.

MM-HMM.
HIS NAME IS HAROLD,

HE'S BEEN IN PRISON,
AND HE WAS MARRIED
TO YOUR WIFE.

ASK HER.

WELL, GO AHEAD,
MR. GARVEY. ASK HER.

HOW COULD YOU DO
SUCH A THING?

WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO?

HE CALLED ME A LIAR,
AND I'M NOT A LIAR.

NOW, HE WANTED THE TRUTH,
AND I GAVE IT TO HIM.

DON'T YOU EVER
LET ME CATCH YOU

LISTENING IN
ON OTHER PEOPLE'S
CONVERSATIONS AGAIN.

NOW, LISTEN HERE,
NELS OLESON.

THIS TELEPHONE BUSINESS
IS MY IDEA.

SO, YOU JUST RUN
THE STORE, AND I'LL
RUN THE SWITCHBOARD.

ALL RIGHT?

DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME
AS IF I'M WRONG.

ALICE GARVEY IS
THE LIAR, NOT ME.

HUH! I WAS NEVER
MARRIED BEFORE.

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

WHAT OTHER IDIOT
WOULD HAVE EVER
MARRIED YOU?

[SNIFFLES]

HE'S SO INSENSITIVE.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

WALNUT GROVE.

[DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS]

SUPPER'S GOING
TO BE A LITTLE LATE.

I DIDN'T EXPECT
YOU HOME SO SOON.

GO TO YOUR ROOM,
ANDY.

I WANT TO TALK
TO YOUR MA.

Andy: YES, SIR.

SHUT THE DOOR.

WHAT'S WRONG?
THE BOY GET IN TROUBLE
AT SCHOOL AGAIN?

YOU KNOW SOMEBODY
NAMED HAROLD?

I'M WAITING
FOR AN ANSWER, WOMAN.

I DID.

OH, DEAR GOD.

SHE WAS TELLING
THE TRUTH.

HOW DID YOU
FIND OUT?

WHY? WHY DIDN'T
YOU TELL ME
ABOUT HIM? WHY?

BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID
YOU WOULDN'T MARRY ME
IF YOU KNEW.

IS THAT SO HARD
TO UNDERSTAND?

OH, YES,
THAT YOU LIED TO ME?

IT WASN'T A LIE.

OH, WASN'T A LIE?
IT JUST SLIPPED YOUR
MIND, IS THAT IT?

I--I KNOW
I WAS WRONG, JONATHAN,

AND I WANTED
TO TELL YOU.

I SWEAR TO GOD,
I DID.

THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU?

BECAUSE
I WAS AFRAID.

PLEASE TRY
TO UNDERSTAND,
JONATHAN.

I WAS JUST
A LITTLE GIRL.

I MEAN, IT ONLY
LASTED FOR 3 WEEKS,

AND I WAS SO ASHAMED
WHEN I FOUND OUT
WHAT HE REALLY WAS,

I JUST COULDN'T
TELL YOU.

I MEAN, CAN'T
YOU SEE THAT?

NO. NO, I CAN'T.
OH, MY GOD.

TO FIND OUT AFTER
ALL THIS TIME THAT--

OH, JONATHAN,
PLEASE!

THERE MUST BE MORE.

WHAT ELSE IS THERE
THAT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME?

WHO ELSE
HAVE YOU BEEN WITH?

OH!

[DOOR SLAMS]

OH!

MORE COFFEE?

NO, THANK YOU.

I GOT TO GO
TO SCHOOL.

ALL RIGHT, DEAR.

HAVE A NICE DAY
AT SCHOOL.

Laura:
HEY, ANDY, WAIT UP!

WHAT DID YOUR PA
SAY TO MRS. OLESON?

I BET HE GAVE HER
WHAT FOR.

Andy:
HE TALKED TO HER.

OH, I WISH I COULD
HAVE BEEN THERE.

AS MAD AS HE WAS,
HE PROBABLY SCARED
HER TO DEATH.

Albert: WHAT
DID HE SAY, ANDY?

Laura:
WHAT DID HE SAY?

ANDY?

IT'S TRUE.

IT'S ALL TRUE.

MRS. OLESON
WAS LISTENING IN

WHEN MY MOM WAS
ON THE TELEPHONE.

SHE HEARD IT ALL.

SORRY, ANDY.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

ANDY!

THAT MRS. OLESON,

SHE'S THE MEANEST
PERSON I KNOW.

NO. I THINK IT'S A TIE
BETWEEN HER AND NELLIE.

YEAH.

SHE'S ALWAYS
HURTING EVERYONE.

WELL, I WISH
SOMEONE WOULD PUNCH
HER IN THE NOSE

AND HURT HER.

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY
TO HURT MRS. OLESON,

AND THAT'S
IN THE POCKETBOOK.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, MONEY.
IT'S HER LIFE'S BLOOD.

SHE MUST BE
LISTENING IN ON
EVERYBODY'S PHONE CALLS.

-COME ON.
-WHERE ARE WE GOING?

JUST COME ON.

HE DID, DID HE?

Hal:
YUP. PAID 7 TO ONE.

WELL, WELL, WELL!

PUT $2.00
ON HIM, MYSELF.

YOU GET ANY MORE
HOT TIPS LIKE THAT,

DON'T HESITATE
TO CALL.

OH, I CERTAINLY WON'T.
THANKS AGAIN, HAL.

HA HA, HA HA!

[CHUCKLES]

WELL,
GOOD MORNING.

-GOOD MORNING.
-GOOD MORNING.

AND WHAT CAN
I DO FOR YOU?

WELL, I WAS
THINKING

OF PUTTING SOME MORE MONEY
IN MY SAVINGS ACCOUNT.

GOOD IDEA.

BUT I KEPT
WONDERING...

2% SURE
ISN'T MUCH.

NO, IT ISN'T UNTIL
IT STARTS ADDING UP.

AND IT DOES ADD UP.
YOU'D BE SURPRISED.
HA HA.

AND IT BEATS KEEPING
IT ALL IN A CIGAR BOX.

WELL, WHAT
I WANTED TO ASK WAS,

WOULD IT BE WRONG
TO TAKE JUST
A LITTLE BIT OF IT

AND MAYBE TAKE A CHANCE
ON MAKING MORE THAN 2%?

WELL, I'M AFRAID
I DON'T--

Albert: BECAUSE MAYBE,
IF YOU GET ANOTHER HOT TIP
ON A HORSE RACE--

Bill:
NOW, WHAT? WHAT?

I SAID, MAYBE
IF YOU GET ANOTH--

Bill:
I HEARD YOU.

HOW IN THE WORLD
DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?

I DON'T KNOW. GUESS
I JUST HEARD ABOUT IT.

SEEMS TO ME LIKE
A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW.

BUT I NEVER
TOLD A SOUL.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT IT
ON THAT TELEPHONE?

YES, I DID.

WELL,
THAT EXPLAINS IT.

YOU SEE, MRS. OLESON,
SHE LISTENS IN.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

UH, EXCUSE ME.

HELLO.

Bill: UH, YES, GEORGE.

NO. THE PAPERWORK
ON THE TOWNSEND LOAN
ISN'T FINISHED YET.

GESUNDHEIT.

YOU DIDN'T?

Bill: WELL, NEITHER DID I.

UH, GEORGE...

LISTEN, I'LL PUT
SOME PRESSURE ON THINGS.

YEAH. IT SHOULD BE READY
BY FRIDAY. I'LL CALL YOU.

SOMEBODY SNEEZED.

MRS. OLESON
ALSO HAS HAY FEVER.

HOW DARE THAT WOMAN!

I'M GOING TO GIVE HER
A PIECE OF MY MIND!

MR. ANDERSON,
WAIT!

YELLING AT HER
WON'T DO ANY GOOD.

WELL,
I'M NOT LETTING HER
GET AWAY WITH IT.

AND I DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD,

BUT THERE'S
A BETTER WAY--

Albert: A WAY YOU
CAN GET HER GOOD
FOR LISTENING IN.

HOW?

LET'S GO IN THE BACK
AND TALK.

ALL RIGHT.

WE'RE GOING TO
BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.

IT WILL
BE WORTH IT.

DID YOU
FINISH THE ORDER

THAT CHARLES IS
TAKING TO NORTHFIELD?

YEAH.

WILL YOU BE WORKING
AT THE MILL
WHILE HE'S GONE?

SOME.

WELL, MAYBE
YOU CAN GET THE
BARN ROOF FIXED.

HOW LONG IS HE
GOING TO BE GONE?

OVERNIGHT.

JONATHAN, I DON'T
THINK I CAN TAKE
MUCH MORE OF THIS.

NOW, I MEAN IT.

YOU WON'T
LOOK AT ME. YOU
WON'T TALK TO ME.

I'M TALKING.

IS THAT
WHAT YOU CALL IT?

DOING
THE BEST I CAN.

I CAN'T HELP
THE WAY I FEEL.

WELL, NEITHER CAN I.

I GUESS WE'RE
JUST STUCK WITH IT,
AIN'T WE?

YOU'RE NEVER GOING
TO LET ME FORGET,
ARE YOU?

NO, BECAUSE I CAN'T.

Andy: STOP IT!

CAN'T YOU PLEASE
STOP IT?

I THINK WE HAVE TO BE
AWAY FROM EACH OTHER
FOR A WHILE.

I'LL GO TO NORTHFIELD
WITH CHARLES.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Harriet:
WALNUT GROVE.

MRS. OLESON,
WOULD YOU GET ME 837
IN MANKATO, PLEASE?

IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

-CERTAINLY.
-THANK YOU.

I JUST HOPE MR. OLESON
DOESN'T GET INVOLVED.

Bill: DON'T WORRY.
HE WON'T.

NELS IS FAR
TOO SENSIBLE A MAN.

Man: HELLO?

WALTER,
BILL ANDERSON.

HI, BILL.

Bill: I HAVE GOT
THE JUICIEST TIP
OF MY LIFE!

SMITH PHARMACEUTICAL
STOCK IS ABOUT TO
GO THROUGH THE ROOF.

I WANT YOU TO BUY UP
$5,000 OF IT FOR ME.

YEAH, BUT, BILL--

NOW, DON'T
ARGUE WITH ME.

HAVE I EVER BEEN
WRONG ABOUT A THING
LIKE THIS?

MARK MY WORDS.

IT'LL BE
WORTH 10 TIMES
WHAT IS IT NOW

BY THE END
OF THE MONTH.

THROUGH THE ROOF,
I TELL YOU!

SMITH PHARMACEUTICALS
IS GOING TO MAKE
A FORTUNE.

NOW, YOU GET THAT ORDER
IN RIGHT AWAY

BEFORE THE WORD
STARTS SPREADING.

I SEE NO LIMIT TO
WHERE THAT STOCK CAN GO!

-BUT, BILL, I--
-JUST BUY IT!

DONE.

BULL'S-EYE.

ALL RIGHT, ALBERT.
GET GOING.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

WALNUT GROVE.

Bill: NELLIE,
THIS IS MR. ANDERSON.

PLEASE GET ME 837
IN MANKATO.

CERTAINLY,
MR. ANDERSON.

Nellie: MANKATO,
837, PLEASE.

THANK YOU, OPERATOR.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

-MR. ANDERSON?
-UH-HUH.

YOUR PARTY'S
ON THE LINE.

THANK YOU.

HI, NELLIE.
WHAT YOU DOING?

DOING? I'M NOT
DOING ANYTHING.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I'M BUSY.

WELL, HOW CAN
YOU BE BUSY

IF YOU AREN'T
DOING NOTHING?

I JUST AM,
THAT'S ALL.

OH. WELL,
I WON'T WANT
TO KEEP YOU, THEN.

OH, CAN YOU GIVE
THIS TO WILLIE
FOR ME?

I FOUND IT, AND I
KNEW HE WANTED ONE.

YES. JUST GO.

THERE.

AAH!

MA!

HA HA!

Nellie: MA!

HA. GOOD JOB, HERMAN.

Albert: HA HA!

THAT'S RIGHT, WALTER.

CANCEL THE ORDER
I JUST PUT IN

FOR SMITH
PHARMACEUTICALS.

I HAVE NEW INFORMATION.

Walter: GLAD
TO HEAR THAT, BILL.

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE.

BYE-BYE.

I SHOULD FEEL
GUILTY ABOUT THIS,

BUT I DON'T.

[LAUGHTER]

-WHAT?
-I SAID YOU HAVE
BEEN SNOOPING AGAIN.

OH, NELS.
CALL IT WHAT YOU LIKE.

WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH.

I WANT NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT,
HARRIET.

-NELS.
-I WANT NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT!

ALL RIGHT. I'LL
USE MY MONEY, THEN.

Nels: WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THE STOCK MARKET?

ENOUGH TO GET RICH.

DO YOU REALIZE
HOW MANY FOOLS

LOSE THEIR SHIRTS
IN THE STOCK MARKET?

OH, MY GOODNESS,
NELS OLESON.

ARE YOU CALLING
BILL ANDERSON
A FOOL?

NO, BUT HE
COULD BE WRONG.

ANOTHER THING--
WHY DO YOU INSIST

UPON HIDING ALL OF
THAT MONEY HERE AT HOME?

BECAUSE I
DON'T TRUST BANKS.

HARRIET, WILL YOU
LISTEN TO REASON?

OH, NELS, PLEASE!
I KNOW WHAT
I'M DOING!

NOW, BEING RICH
ISN'T IMPORTANT
TO YOU,

BUT IT'S VERY
IMPORTANT TO ME.

DO YOU THINK I WANT
TO SPEND THE REST
OF MY LIFE

IN THIS--
THIS VILLAGE?

WELL, I LOVE
THIS VILLAGE.

ALL RIGHT, THEN
YOU JUST STAY HERE.

I'LL GIVE YOU MY
SHARE OF THE STORE.
10, 20, 30,

40, 50.

GET OUT OF HERE.
GET OUT OF HERE
AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

I'VE GOT TO COUNT MY MONEY.
I'VE GOT TO GET TO MANKATO.

-10, 20, 30, 40, 50.
-YOU'RE GOING TO MANKATO?

-60, 70.
-WE'VE GOT A TELEPHONE.

WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT?

PHONE IN YOUR ORDER
AND WIRE THE MONEY.

YOU ARE SO NAIVE.

IF I CALL IN THE ORDER,
SOME UNSCRUPULOUS PERSON
MIGHT BE LISTENING IN,

AND THEN THEY'D GO
RIGHT OUT, AND THEY
WOULD BUY THE STOCKS,

AND THE PRICE
OF STOCKS WOULD GO
RIGHT THROUGH THE ROOF.

HOW SILLY OF ME.

I JUST THOUGHT
YOU WERE ONE OF A KIND.

Nels: I'LL GO HITCH UP
YOUR BUCKBOARD.

OH, 10, 20,
30, 40, 50.

[HORSES WHINNY]

I JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW ALL THIS HAPPENED.

YOU LIVE WITH A WOMAN
ALL THESE YEARS.

YOU THINK YOU
KNOW HER AND--

AND EVERYTHING JUST
FALLS TO PIECES.

HOW MANY YEARS
YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

15, MAYBE 16.

THAT'S A LONG TIME.

THEY'VE BEEN GOOD YEARS,
HAVEN'T THEY?

YEAH, THE BEST.

I JUST DON'T
KNOW WHAT I'M
GOING TO DO NOW.

IF I WERE YOU, I
WOULDN'T THROW AWAY
16 GOOD YEARS

BECAUSE OF SOMETHING
THAT HAPPENED LONG
BEFORE YOU EVEN MET ALICE.

CHARLES, IF ONLY
SHE HAD TOLD ME.

YOU KEEP SAYING THAT.
THE FACT OF THE MATTER
IS SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU.

NOTHING IS GOING
TO CHANGE THAT.

SHE'S STILL THE SAME
WOMAN YOU LOVED
ALL THESE YEARS.

SHE MADE A MISTAKE,
SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU.

WE'VE ALL KEPT A SECRET
AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER
IN OUR LIVES.

NO. I HAVEN'T.

NOT EVEN ONCE?

NO.

I HAVEN'T BEEN APPRECIATING
YOU PROPERLY, JONATHAN.

I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE PERFECT.

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME
BEING A FARMER.
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A SAINT.

THERE YOU GO,
CHARLES.

THANK YOU, GREGORY.

GIVE MY BEST
TO THE MISSIS.

I WILL. SAY HELLO
TO CHARLOTTE FOR ME.

HERE'S YOUR HALF.

NOT BAD, I'D SAY.

LET'S FIND
OURSELVES A HOTEL.

CHARLES,
I'VE BEEN THINKING,

WE'RE AWFUL CLOSE
TO MINNEAPOLIS.

WELL, ALICE'S MOTHER
WOULD APPRECIATE
A VISIT.

MIGHT HELP IF
I CAN TALK TO HER.

I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

LET'S GO.

I STILL CAN'T
GET OVER IT.

SUCH A SURPRISE.

I HOPE IT WASN'T
INCONVENIENT FOR YOU.

OH, LAND'S SAKES, NO.

THIS IS A BIG HOUSE,
MORE THAN ENOUGH
EMPTY BEDROOMS.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHY I KEEP IT.

A BODY CAN
GET AWFUL LONELY
IN A BIG HOUSE.

JONATHAN?

IS ALICE
FEELING ALL RIGHT?

WHY DO YOU ASK?

Mother: OH, I JUST THOUGHT I
HEARD SOMETHING IN HER VOICE.

WELL, TRUTH IS
SHE WAS AWFUL UPSET

WHEN SHE HEARD ABOUT--

ABOUT HAROLD.

Mother:
OH, SHE TOLD YOU.

YEAH, SHE, UH,
SHE DECIDED TO.

WELL, JONATHAN,
I'M VERY RELIEVED.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT
IT WAS WRONG OF ALICE
TO KEEP THAT FROM YOU.

YEAH, IT WAS.

BUT I CAN SEE THAT
YOU'VE TAKEN IT WELL.

SOMEHOW I ALWAYS
KNEW YOU WOULD.

HA.

I KEEP WONDERING
WHAT HE'S LIKE.

HE'S A PITIFUL
SIGHT NOW,

BUT WHEN
HE BOARDED HERE--

HE LIVED HERE?

SEVERAL GENTLEMEN
DID,

AND THEY
WERE GENTLEMEN,

ESPECIALLY HAROLD.

YOU KNOW, ALICE'S
FATHER DIED WHEN
SHE WAS SO YOUNG.

HE WAS
THE CLOSEST SHE
KNEW TO A FATHER.

HE WAS WITH US
THROUGH ALL OF HER
GROWING-UP YEARS.

A FINE MAN.

SO HANDSOME
AND WELL-DRESSED
ALL THE TIME.

ALWAYS SEEMED TO HAVE
MORE MONEY THAN HE KNEW
WHAT TO DO WITH.

HAROLD COULD EASILY HAVE
AFFORDED BETTER THAN
WAS OFFERED HIM HERE,

BUT HE ABSOLUTELY
WORSHIPPED ALICE

AND WOULDN'T
THINK OF LIVING
ANYWHERE ELSE.

I CAN TELL YOU
I WASN'T SURPRISED

THAT HE
PROPOSED MARRIAGE

WHEN ALICE HAD GROWN
INTO A YOUNG WOMAN.

JONATHAN...

WE HADN'T AN INKLING
THAT HE GAMBLED
FOR A LIVING.

NONE.

IF WE HAD, IT NEVER
WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?

HE'S WORKING
AS A BARTENDER

IN A PLACE CALLED
THE GOOD TIMES
SALOON

OVER IN
THE WAREHOUSE
DISTRICT.

TERRIBLE PLACE,
I'M TOLD,

BUT I SUPPOSE
THAT'S THE BEST
HE COULD GET.

EVERY DAY FROM NOON
TO MIDNIGHT CLOSING.

NOT MUCH OF
A LIFE, I'D SAY.

HOW ABOUT
SOME MORE CHICKEN?

THERE'S PLENTY.

NO. I'M FULL,
THANK YOU.

I DON'T GET TO
THE BIG CITY
VERY OFTEN.

I THINK I'M GOING TO
GO OUT AND LOOK AROUND
A LITTLE BIT.

YOU WANT
SOME COMPANY?

NO, CHARLES. I KNOW
HOW TIRED YOU ARE.

I AIN'T GOING TO
BE GONE LONG.

THANKS FOR
THE GOOD SUPPER, MA.

Mother: YOU'RE
WELCOME, JONATHAN.

CAN I GET YOU
ANYTHING ELSE?
SOME COFFEE?

YES, THANK YOU.

WHAT'LL IT BE?

I'LL HAVE A--
I'LL HAVE A BEER.

Man: HAROLD,

TWO MORE
OF THE SAME.

COMING.

CLOSING TIME.

DO YOU MIND
IF I FINISH THIS?

MISTER, CLOSING TIME
IS CLOSING TIME.

I'D LIKE
TO BUY YOU A DRINK.

WELL, NOW, THAT THROWS
A LITTLE DIFFERENT
LIGHT ON IT.

I'LL HAVE ANOTHER
ONE OF THOSE.

I'VE BEEN ACHING
FOR THIS ALL NIGHT.

THE OWNER, HE CAN TELL
RIGHT DOWN TO THE PENNY

WHAT'S GONE AND--
AND NOT PAID FOR.

A MAN'S GOT TO
QUENCH HIS THIRST.

THAT HE DOES.

NAME'S JOHN...

JOHN GIFFORD.

OH, PEOPLE
JUST CALL ME HAROLD.

YOU'RE NOT FROM
THIS PART OF THE CITY.

YOUR CLOTHES
ARE TOO CLEAN.

NO. I'M JUST
TRAVELING THROUGH.

I DO A LOT
OF TRAVELING.

SALESMAN?

FARM IMPLEMENTS.

IT'S A GOOD LIVING.

GETS AWFUL LONELY
AT TIMES.

YEAH.

YEAH, I KNOW
ABOUT LONELY.

BE MY GUEST.

THANKS.

YOU MARRIED?

OH, WAS ONCE.

YOU?

NO--

NOT THAT I
WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE.

GUESS I JUST AIN'T
MET THE RIGHT WOMAN.

MAYBE IF
I KEEP LOOKING,
I'LL GET LUCKY.

YEAH. MAYBE YOU WILL.

I WAS THAT LUCKY ONCE.

BUT LIKE A DAMN FOOL,

I LET HER SLIP
THROUGH MY FINGERS...

18 YEARS AGO.

PRETTIEST THING
YOU EVER SAW.

THERE HASN'T
BEEN A DAY SINCE

THAT I HAVEN'T
THOUGHT OF HER.

WHAT HAPPENED?

OHH...

YOU CAN'T TELL
FROM LOOKING AT ME NOW,

BUT IN MY YOUNG DAYS, I--

I WAS QUITE
THE GENTLEMAN
ABOUT TOWN.

HAD THE WORLD
IN MY POCKET,

OR SO I THOUGHT.

GAMBLER.
GOOD AT IT, TOO.

OF COURSE, I--

I NEVER TOLD ALICE
WHAT I DID FOR A LIVING.

AND, UH, I TOLD HER I...

HAD PROPERTY,
HAD TO COLLECT RENTS.

WE HAD BEEN
MARRIED A WEEK,

AND ONE DAY, MY--
MY LUCK TURNED SOUR,

AND I LOST EVERYTHING.

MORE THAN EVERYTHING.

I WAS IN DEBT
PRETTY DEEP,

AND SOME FELLOWS
DON'T TAKE KINDLY
TO NOT BEING PAID.

I COULD HAVE HELD
THEM OFF FOR A WHILE,
I GUESS--

GOT A REGULAR JOB
AND PAID THEM IN TIME,

AND I WAS JUST BURNING
TO GET BACK TO WHERE I WAS.

YOU KNOW, SEE, GAMBLERS,
THEY MEET ALL KINDS,

AND DESPERATE
LIKE I WAS,

I--I FELL INTO A SCHEME
TO ROB A BANK.

DIDN'T WORK OUT.

SPENT THE NEXT
18 YEARS IN PRISON.

IF I'D ONLY TOLD ALICE
THE TRUTH TO START WITH...

WHY DIDN'T YOU?

I WAS AFRAID
I'D LOSE HER.

AND AFTER
THEY LET ME OUT,

I HEARD THAT ALICE
WAS HAPPILY MARRIED

AND HAD A SON.

I CAN'T HELP
BUT WONDER

IF THAT MAN KNOWS
HOW LUCKY HE IS.

UH, GOT TO BE GOING.

YOUR--YOUR CHANGE.

NO. KEEP IT.

HAVE ANOTHER DRINK.

APPRECIATE IT.

HEY, YOU ALL RIGHT?
I STARTED GETTING WORRIED.

YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT.

I SAW HIM.

WHAT?

HAROLD--
I TALKED TO HIM.

WHAT FOR?

I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS
I JUST HAD TO SEE
WHAT HE WAS LIKE.

AND THAT WAS
THE WHOLE REASON

FOR COMING HERE IN
THE FIRST PLACE, HUH?

YEAH.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL,
I DIDN'T HIT HIM,

IF THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING.

ALTHOUGH,
I GOT TO ADMIT

I DID THINK
ABOUT THAT
BEFORE I SAW HIM.

HE'S JUST A TIRED,
BEATEN OLD MAN.

I DIDN'T EVEN
TELL HIM WHO I WAS.

JUST BOUGHT HIM
A COUPLE OF DRINKS

AND WE TALKED.

YOU KNOW WHAT HE
SAID TO ME, CHARLES?

HE SAID HE WONDERED IF
THE MAN ALICE MARRIED

KNEW HOW LUCKY HE WAS.

DOES HE?

YES, HE DOES.

[PIANO PLAYING]

NELLIE, WILL YOU
STOP THAT RACKET?

IT'S CALLED MUSIC.

I THINK YOU COULD
PLAY IT BETTER
WITH YOUR TOES.

YOU WOULDN'T TALK
TO ME THAT WAY
IF MA WAS HERE.

WELL, SHE'S NOT HERE,
SO, KEEP IT QUIET!

[BANGS ON PIANO]

WHAT IN THE WORLD
HAPPENED TO YOU?

I LOST IT.

Harriet:
ALL OF IT!

I OWNED 50%
OF A COMPANY.

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,
IT WAS WORTHLESS.

YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN
TO ME, WOULD YOU?

[SOBBING]

NELS...

I'M RUINED.

NONE OF THIS
WOULD HAVE HAPPENED

IF YOU HADN'T
BEEN SNOOPING IN

ON OTHER PEOPLE'S
CONVERSATIONS.

I KNOW.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WELL, THANK GOD

WE--WE STILL
HAVE THE STORE.

NOT WE, HARRIET.

I STILL
HAVE THE STORE.

REMEMBER?

NELS!

YOU CAN'T MEAN--

I CAN, AND I
CERTAINLY DO.

WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE
THAT LAID DOWN THAT LAW.

[SOBBING]

BUT HOW AM I GOING
TO PAY MY BILLS?

YOU FIGURE IT OUT.

THAT'S WHAT COMES
OF BUYING ALL THIS
NONSENSE ON CREDIT--

PIANO, JEWELRY,
CRYSTAL.

YOU SAID YOU COULD
PAY IT ALL YOURSELF.

WELL, NOW
YOU CAN DO IT.

BUT I...

HOW?

GET A JOB.

GET A JOB?

WHERE?

THAT'S A VERY GOOD
QUESTION, HARRIET.

[SOBBING]

NELS...

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

UGH!

[SIGHS]

ANYTHING ELSE?

YEAH. AFTER YOU
FINISH THE DELIVERIES,

YOU CAN SWEEP OUT
THE STOREROOM.

LOOKS LIKE A GOAT'S
BEEN LIVING IN THERE.

NELS!

AREN'T YOU GOING
TO DO ANYTHING?

OH, YEAH. I'M GOING
TO DO SOMETHING.

I'M GOING
TO GO FISHING.

OH, FIDDLESTI--

OW! AH!

OH! OH!

OH, MY TOE!

[WAGON APPROACHING]

WHOA.

HELLO, JONATHAN.

HI, PA.

BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE,

I GOT SOMETHING
TO SAY TO BOTH OF YOU.

I WAS WRONG.

SO WRONG, I'M
ASHAMED OF MYSELF,

AND I JUST HOPE
YOU CAN FORGIVE ME.

OH, JONATHAN.

JONATHAN!

OH, I'VE NEVER
MISSED ANYBODY
SO MUCH IN MY LIFE!

YOU'RE JUST ON TIME.

SUPPER'S
JUST ABOUT READY,

AND I MADE PLENTY
FOR YOU, JUST IN CASE.

SOMETHING
I GOT TO DO FIRST.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

NOW WE CAN EAT.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]