Little House on the Prairie (1974–1983): Season 5, Episode 7 - Fagin - full transcript

Hi, pa!

Come see what I got
in the wagon!

Ha ha ha!

Oh, pa.

Where's Albert?

In the barn.

Ok.

Hey, Albert!

Come on out here!

Come on. Take a look at what I
got in the back of the wagon.

Isn't it beautiful?



Oh, it sure is.

Albert:
Look at those eyes.

I got him for you,
Albert.

For me?

That's right.

You said you wanted to
be a farmer, didn't you?

Yes, sir, I did.

There's a lot more to farming
than just raising crops.

Got to learn
about livestock, too.

You're gonna raise
this young'un.

Oh, you hear that,
Laura?

I get to raise him.

Yeah, I heard.

Think you can
handle it?



Oh, you bet I can.

Don't worry,
Mr. Ingalls.

I'll raise you
a cow to be proud of.

First lesson, Albert: Male calves
very rarely grow up to be cows.

Oh, yeah. Then I won't
expect it to give much milk.

No. I'm afraid not.

All right, you get him
untied and watered.

I'll fix up a stall
in the barn.

Ok. Mr. Ingalls?

Yeah?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Laura: What are we
gonna name him?

Let's see...

I'll call him fagin.

What?

From a book I read once.

Oh, you mean
Oliver twist.

Uh-huh.
I liked it.

I sure wouldn't have
picked that name.

But like you said,
it's my calf.

Hello, fagin.

Charles: As young
as that calf is,

I can tell he's got some
good blood in his background.

I still don't
understand, Charles.

I mean, if it were a heifer,
we could use the milk,

but you're
no cattle breeder.

Well, you remember
those pickles and preserves

you entered in the brown
county fair over at sleepy eye?

I still have
the ribbon I won.

No reason Albert can't do
just as well with a calf.

At the same time,
he could learn a lot about livestock.

Albert: I did like
you said, Mr. Ingalls.

I gave fagin
plenty of hay

and a mixture
of grain and corn.

Fagin?

Yeah.
That's his name.

It was his idea,
not mine.

Well,
I can change it.

No, no. It's not the
name that bothers me.

I just don't want you to get
too attached to him, that's all.

When that sleepy eye fair
rolls around,

he's gonna bring a pretty
good price at auction.

We're gonna enter him
in a fair?

Not we. You.
You're the one that's raising him.

Do a good job,
you just might win a prize.

There's prizes?

Darn right
there's prizes.

Oh, don't worry, Mr. Ingalls,
fagin will win.

I'm gonna make sure
he has enough grain.

Supper's
almost ready!

I better go with him.

Otherwise he'll spend the
whole night out in the barn.

Laura: Pa,
I forgot to show you.

I got an "A"
on my English test.

Ah, I knew
you could do it.

Why don't you clean up the table?
Almost time for supper.

It was the only "A"
in the class.

You know, the minute I
set eyes on that animal,

I thought of Albert.

Mm-hmm.

I was right, too.

I never have seen
a young'un

take to an animal
like that in my life.

Mm-hmm.

Huh. Guess they're just
meant for each other.

Well... it happens
all the time.

What happens
all the time?

Oh, love
at first sight.

Instant attraction.

That sort of thing.

Well, you got
anybody in mind?

That all depends.

On what?

Well, it takes two,
you know. Come here.

All right, Caroline.

I'll get you a calf
tomorrow.

Charles!

Ha ha ha!

Teacher: All right,
everyone in your seats!

In your seats this minute!

Denzil, Willie, sit down!

Denzil, sit.

Laura, will you help me pass out
these papers, please?

Yes, ma'am.

Now, this semester,
we're going to study English history,

so the first thing
we have to learn

is the order of the
accession to the throne.

The what?

She's talking about the line of kings
and queens that ruled the country.

You mean they have to
stand in line?

You are so dumb.

Thank you,
Laura.

The paper you have is the
list of the royal monarchs.

They were all related
in some way or another,

and we all know a little
bit about our family tree

but usually
not in such detail.

Who knows who the ruler
of Great Britain is today?

Yes, Laura?

Queen Victoria.

That's right.

She's a widow now,

but her husband Albert and her
had 9 children before he died.

Named after a king,
are you, boy?

He wasn't a king.
He was a consort.

Our Albert
ain't no prince, either.

Nobody knows
what he is.

Teacher:
Denzil,

do you have something
you'd like to add to the lesson?

Uh, no, ma'am.

Teacher: Then perhaps
we can continue?

Ok. We'll begin in the 11th century
with king Edward the confessor.

Who's heard of
the battle of Hastings?

Yes, Willie?

My ma and pa fought it
last night at supper.

Willie,
stand in the corner.

Denzil: Hey, I get to
walk behind prince Albert.

Don't pay
any attention to him.

You know, fagin's gonna have
to get a lot of exercise,

otherwise all he's gonna
do is eat and get fat.

Maybe we could take him
for a walk before supper.

Well, I have
some chores to do,

but you can go ahead
if you want to.

If he's prince Albert,
maybe Laura's sleeping beauty.

Your pa said fagin's father
was a purebreed hereford.

That's good,
isn't it?

Who's your father,
Albert?

None of your business,
denzil macauley.

You don't know who he is
any more than he does,

miss high and mighty
Ingalls.

Shut up, denzil.

There's a name
for kids like you,

except my pa would wash my mouth
out with soap if I said it.

Leave him alone!

Gonna fight his battles
for him, too?

Punch him, Albert!
Punch him!

Carrie: Mama, Albert's
got a bloody nose!

Albert. My goodness,
what happened?

Charles!

I, uh, I was...

He was defending
my honor.

A fight?

Oh, you look terrible!
Are you all right?

Charles:
What's going on?

What in the world
happened to you, boy?

I'm sorry, sir.

It was that denzil macauley.
He was saying...

I had to
hit him, sir.

Well, Laura might
have been hurt.

You went round
with that big macauley boy?

Laura: He sure did,
and he beat him, too!

I'll be darned!

Charles,
he was in a fight.

He could have been
seriously injured.

You're right.

Laura:
But he saved me.

Now, there. You see?
He didn't have any choice.

You know what
that denzil's like.

Laura: He took a hold of my arms,
and was shaking me like this.

Caroline:
That'll do, Laura.

Come on, Albert.
Let's get you cleaned up.

Right now, ma'am?

I mean, Laura and me
haven't even seen fagin yet.

It looks a lot worse
than it is.

I'll wash the boy up
in the barn. Come on, boy.

Damsel in distress,
we've got potatoes to peel.

What about fagin?

Albert and I will
take care of him.

You go on
and help your ma.

So you really
got into it?

Caroline: Laura!

Albert: Yeah.

Charles: Ha ha! Did you
give him a good one?

Albert: Yeah,
I got him pretty good.

2 times 12 is 24.

3 times 12 is 36.

4 times 12 is 48.

Albert: Come on, fagin.

5 times 12 is 60.

6 times 12 is 72.

Still gonna be the team
to beat at the fair,

you know that?

Come on, fagin.

Come on, boy.

Come on, fagin.

Oh. Where were you?

I was doing
my 12 tables.

All right. Go ahead.

No. I guess I know
them pretty good.

Come on, fagin.

I didn't tell you
what I heard

about Nellie and that
denzil macauley.

I think he knows
his name.

Who, denzil?

No, silly... fagin, look.

Come on, fagin.
Come on, boy.

Come on, fagin.

Ha ha ha!

I thought calves
were too dumb for that.

Well, look.
He comes when Albert calls him.

Well, I would, too,
if he had my supper.

Anyway, Sarah Lewis
told me

that Martha Kennedy
said

that Mrs. Garvey caught
Nellie and denzil kissing

behind the schoolhouse.

Ha! She probably
promised him

a bag of
licorice, huh?

Hey, good, Albert!
Looking good!

Thanks.

Oh, what was that?

Nothing important.

I just remembered,

I haven't finished my
report on the reformation.

Ok.

Hi, darling.
Where is everybody?

Well, Albert's helping
Carrie with her numbers,

and ma's feeding grace.

Mmm.

Beautiful night,
isn't it?

Mm-hmm. This is
my favorite time of year.

Good fishing weather.

It's been a long time since
we went fishing together.

I suppose it has.

We ought to set a time
and just go.

How about tomorrow?

All right,
tomorrow's fine.

I'll have Albert
dig us some worms.

Well, I thought maybe
just you and I could go.

It would be
like old times.

Well, sure.
That's fine with me.

We'll make a day of it.
How's that sound?

That sounds
just perfect.

I made your favorite...
Ham and cheese sandwiches.

And I baked us
a carrot cake, too.

You didn't have to go
to all that trouble.

I always make
something special.

Yes. I remember
your apple turnovers.

Ha ha ha!

Well, nobody told me that ripe
apples had to be red and not green.

Yeah. And peeled
and sliced.

We ate all of them.

Don't remind me.
I had 8 of those things.

They were awful!

Thanks. Remember when I used to
pretend that I was gonna marry you?

Well, who else
were you gonna marry?

After tasting
those apple turnovers,

nobody else
would have you.

Well, I've improved
a lot since then.

Now I can do anything
I want to.

I could even have
raised fagin all by myself.

Well, I know that.

Nothing can stop
an Ingalls, right?

Albert: Mr. Ingalls,
where are you?

Albert, over here!

What's the matter,
son?

It's fagin.
He's come down with a real bad cough.

You got to see him.

I'm sorry, half-pint.
I got to go.

All right, come on.

What do you think,
doc?

I've seen it before.

They call it husk.

Comes from
pasture grass.

I'm sorry, Albert.

I can't promise
any miracles.

There is one treatment,
but it's quite drastic.

What is it?

Husk is caused by worms
which infect the lung tissue.

The only remedy
is an injection

made up of chloroform,
spirits of turpentine,

and a small amount
of creosote.

That'd kill him.

Not if we're lucky,
Charles.

We follow that up
with some medicine

that I'll
make up for you,

and with as much of your best
cattle feed as he can eat,

we'll have
a 50/50 chance.

But you have to
watch him carefully.

The next 24 hours
will tell.

Charles? I kept
your supper hot.

I'll serve it.

How's fagin?

Ah, there's
no change yet.

Got to give the medicine
a chance to work.

Can't get Albert
to leave the barn.

We'll have our supper
outside.

Carrie:
Me, too.

No, no. You just stay in
here and eat your supper.

Caroline: Laura,
try and eat something.

Fagin will be all right.

I'm not hungry, ma.

An empty stomach, and...
You'll be sick, too.

Worrying about it
won't change anything.

That's for sure.

Hey, getting cold?

Some.

Here. Let's put
this blanket on you, huh?

Pull that up around you.

There you go.

That better?

Is he gonna make it?

I'd say so.

Doc said it'd
take some time.

I think you made him
strong enough to beat it.

I hope so.

You like being
called Mr. Ingalls?

Never thought about it.
That's my name.

Well, everybody
doesn't call you that.

No, no. Some folks
call me Charles,

some just Ingalls.

In the city,
most of the time,

they just said,
"hey, you." Ha!

See, the reason
I was wondering is...

Well, at school, they
ask me what I call you.

And Mr. Ingalls sounds
sort of stuffy.

Well, you can call me
Charles if you want.

No. I'm just a kid.
That wouldn't be right.

Let's see.
What about uncle Charles?

No.

When I was
in the orphanage,

this big kid,
Raymond,

used to grab my arms and
put his foot in my stomach

and pull
till I said "uncle."

I don't blame you
for not liking that one.

You know... It might
make things easier

for the kids in town

if I called you pa.

Is that all? I...

I thought you were gonna
think up something hard

I'd have to learn
to spell or something.

Then it's all right?

It's fine with me.

Thanks, Mr. Ingalls.

I mean... Pa.

Now, why don't you try
to get some sleep, huh?

I might close my eyes
just for a little bit.

Charles: Albert! Albert, wake up!
Just look at him!

Albert: Whoopee!

Wahoo! Look at him!

Ha ha ha!

Whoo!

We could hear you
from the house.

He's all right.

He's gonna
make it.

Me and pa
did it.

Thank god.

Charles: Hey, you know something?
I'm starved.

My eggs will be burning.
Come and get it!

We'll be right in.

Be right in, pa.

I'm gonna fix him
some feed first.

All right, but don't take too long.
There won't be any food left.

Ok.

You stay
right there.

He didn't notice...

Did he?

Notice what?

Well,
you called him "Pa" by mistake.

It wasn't a mistake.
He told me I could.

He did?

You know how it is...

The kids in school asking
me who I live with and all.

It just makes it
easier all around.

Come on. Let's eat.

Albert, you're sure you're
not too tired to go to school?

No, sir.
I feel great.

Laura, are you sure you
don't want anything?

Laura: No, thanks, ma.
I don't feel so good.

Was she feeling sick
last night?

Not that I know of.

I'm gonna
go check on her.

Thank you.

Does this look good?
Is that your favorite?

What's the matter,
half-pint?

I don't feel so good.

Well, you're not
running a fever.

It's nothing
real awful, pa.

Well, do you have a pain
or an upset stomach?

No. I don't know.

You have a test
today at school.

It couldn't be because
of that, could it?

No.

I'll tell you,
Albert stayed up half the night,

and he's going
to school,

so I think you can get
yourself to school, too.

Come on, I'll give you
a ride in in the wagon.

I want to pick up a shipment
at the olesons' anyway.

I'll see you downstairs.

Morning, Charles!

Morning, nels!

Hi, kids.

What's going on?

I'm sorry. That shipment
has been delayed, Charles.

Won't be in
till tomorrow.

Charles: Ah, that's all right.
Kids enjoyed the ride.

Besides, it will give me a
chance to work on the wagon.

Willie: Hey, Albert, catch!
Let's go play ball!

Albert:
See you, pa!

See you later, Albert!

I'll be back tomorrow,
nels!

Right.

Have a nice day, Nellie.

Oh, I will, father.

So it's "Pa" now...
Is it?

Leave me alone.

Well, your father's
always wanted a son.

Guess he finally
got one.

Shut up, Nellie.

What's the matter,
Laura?

Don't you like
your new brother?

Ha ha ha!

There we go.
Pa's got it all fixed.

Hey, Caroline!

Look who's
coming home early.

What are you doing
home early, half-pint?

It's in the note.

Sent home
for fighting.

Nellie oleson.

Why, Laura?

I don't know.

Come on. That's not like you.
Did she say something?

Don't you want to
talk about it?

No.

You'll have to
apologize to her.

You know that,
don't you?

Apologize?! I didn't hear
Albert apologize to denzil.

Now, you know
that's different.

He had a reason
for fighting denzil.

You don't
seem to have one.

You sure you don't
want to explain?

All right. Ahem.

As soon as school's
out, we'll go into town.

You may wait
in your room.

Nellie, darling,

mother has another
nice steak for you.

Oh. I'll be
right back, dear.

Caroline.

Mrs. Oleson.

Well, I'm surprised that
your daughter has the gall

to show her face
around here.

Laura would like to speak to
Nellie, if it's all right.

Come in, please.

Nellie, darling...
Mrs. Ingalls is here with Laura.

Laura.

Keep her
away from me!

Now, now, now, darling.
It's all right.

Mother's here.

Laura.

I'm sorry, Nellie.

Well, I should say so!

Mrs. Oleson:
Ruined her dress.

All the way
from St. Louis.

Caroline: Don't worry.
We'll pay for it.

What about me?

Look what she did to me.

Mrs. Oleson: The point is,
of course,

that well-bred girls do not
go around punching one another

like common bullies.

Laura knows that,
Mrs. Oleson.

That's why she
wanted to apologize.

Oh. Well, I hope
you do know that, young lady.

I said I was sorry!

Let us know what we
owe you for the dress.

I'll bring it in
next week.

Laura, I want you to
stop that crying now!

Nobody cares about me!

Nellie gets punched,
everybody cares.

Fagin gets sick,
everybody cares.

Laura, that's not true.

Yes, it is!

I know it's true.

And Albert...

I thought he liked me...

But it wasn't me
he wanted.

It was pa.

My pa.

He doesn't even spend
any time with me anymore.

He's always with Albert
and that stupid calf.

And Albert...

He calls him "Pa."

But don't expect me
to call him my brother,

because he isn't!

Laura?

Wait!

I wish the fair
were sooner.

Can't wait much longer.

You don't have to
wait much longer.

It's only two days away.

Seems like forever.

Caroline:
Charles.

I put the baby down
for a nap.

Is Laura here?

No.

I need to
talk to you.

Can we go in the barn?

All right.

Soon as you're
finished brushing him,

you take care
of his hooves.

Remember,
there's 4 of them.

I counted. One
on each corner.

Ha ha ha!

Well, what happened?

Laura has a lot
on her mind,

most of which
she passed on to me.

What is it?

She doesn't feel needed around here...
Or loved.

What?

Come on, Caroline.
That's just plain silly.

I don't think it is.

I brushed you
real good.

Now I'm gonna
do your hooves.

Charles: I'm trying to get
the farm back on its feet.

It takes up
most of my day.

Caroline: And the rest
is for Albert.

What is this thing
with Albert?

He's got 600 pounds
of beef out there.

That's money
in the bank.

I know that,

but Laura only remembers what
it was like before he came.

In a lot of ways,
she's still your little girl.

What do you mean
"in a lot of ways"?

She is my little girl.
You know that.

Charles, why are you
arguing with me?

Could it be because there's a grain
of truth in what she's thinking?

What, that
I don't love her?

No. That you've been
neglecting her.

I just had a talk
with your ma.

She set me straight
on a few things.

I know I haven't...

I haven't been
treating you right,

but I hadn't realized
that, you know?

And I just wanted you
to hear my side of it.

You see,
when Albert come to us,

I wanted him to feel like he was
part of the family, you know?

So I spent a lot more time with
him than I probably should have.

And it was...

It was only 'cause I love
you more than anything,

and I just took it for
granted that you knew that.

It was dumb of me.

And it was dumb of me for not
telling you how much I love you.

Because I love you
more than anything.

I do.

I love you, too.

Come on.

Look at this girl.

Aw, look at her stand.

Look at her stand.

Albert, what's all that?

Oh, just my laundry.

Just put it
by the sink.

Oh, no. It's all right.
I'll do it myself.

Oh, it's no trouble.

Oh, no. But thanks.

I can do it good.

Well, all right,
Albert.

Say, "all right,
Albert."

Ha ha!

Your big day's coming,
fagin.

You'll win it.

I covered most of hero
township before it got dark.

I guess I could go
look for him tomorrow,

but he could be halfway
to winona by now.

I best put up the team.

Carrie: When's Albert
gonna be home?

Doesn't look like
tonight, darling.

We were supposed to
pick berries tomorrow.

He promised.

Carrie...

Sometimes people can't help
breaking their promises.

Carrie:
Not Albert.

Come on, now,
let's get to bed.

That Albert always did as he
pleased, didn't he?

Independent little cuss.

Well, you can't change
a city boy, I guess.

In the blood.
Kind of like farming.

He'll probably
go back to...

Shining shoes
and pitching pennies

and having
a high old time.

Pa...

It's all right if you
tell me that you loved him.

Will numbers
29... 32... And 41

report here in one hour
for the final judging?

Hey, we made it
to the finals, huh?

Well, of course we did.

Albert raised a winner.
Come on, fagin. Come on.

I need you to
give me a hand, pa.

I got to
comb out his tail

and Polish his hooves
one more time.

All right.

Man: First call for finalists
in the steer judging!

Pen number two!

You nervous?

Nope.

What's the matter?

I'll be fine, pa.

You watch fagin.
I'll be back.

Hold on, Albert.
I got a few things to say to you.

Let me go!
You got no right!

Oh, yes, I do.
And we're gonna have a talk now.

Now, you and me
had a bargain,

and you didn't
see your end through.

Laura's doing
just fine.

At least tell me
why you left.

I, uh,
I met a man in town.

Offered me a job
on the railroad.

He promised to pay
my way to San Francisco.

It was too good
to pass up.

That's what you want?

Why not?

Ships come in from
all over the world.

New things happen
every day.

Oh, come on, Albert.

That's no life for you,
and you know it.

Maybe not, but I'll keep
looking till I find a place.

I kind of thought
you already had.

I don't fit in
with you.

People argue
because of me.

Well, of course
they argue.

And the reason folks
argue about you

is 'cause
they care about you.

No, Mr. Ingalls.

I'm in the way...
Laura's way.

You're wrong
about Laura.

She thinks
the world of you.

If I had folks
of my own,

I wouldn't want some stranger coming
in, messing it up.

Laura's very special...

And I can't
do that to her.

Don't you think

you at least owe her
a proper good-bye, then?

She doesn't
want to see me.

Besides, I got to go.

You came a long way
to see fagin.

Don't you want to at
least see the contest?

He won't lose.

Well, I for one
want to see him win.

How about you?

Come on.
What do you say?

All right.

But then I got to go.

You got a deal.

Man: I have the names
of the winners now!

In third place,
number 41,

owned by rod Peterson
of sleepy eye!

In second place,
number 29,

owned by Jesse Potter
of mankato!

And now for
the grand prize winner...

Number 32, Laura Ingalls
of walnut grove!

All right!

Congratulations,
young lady.

Would you like
to say a few words?

Thank you, sir.

But this honor really
doesn't belong to me.

I...

I'd like to accept this
award for my brother Albert.

You sure San Francisco
can't wait?

My kids.