Little House on the Prairie (1974–1983): Season 4, Episode 1 - Castoffs - full transcript

Pa! I finished my chores.
Can I go into town?

What, are you
done already?

You're a real whirlwind
this morning.

Must be
something important.

It is.

All right. Go on.
Have a good time.

Thanks, pa.

Caroline: Laura?

Yes, ma?

Haven't you noticed
the way Jack's been

scratching and
fussing at his ears?



No, ma.

Well, he has.

It looks like he's been
running in the tall grass.

Maybe he's got another
foxtail in his ear.

Well, couldn't Carrie
pull them out?

Carrie's helping me
bake a cake.

Laura,
Jack is your dog.

You've been
neglecting him lately.

You can't
just cast him aside

like a stitch of old clothes
you're tired of and forget him.

Ma, I promise to do it
when I get home,

but I've got something
real important to tend to.

Laura, right now
you'll tend to Jack.

Yes, ma'am.



Oh, such a lovely day.

A lovely day.

Morning!

Morning.

Beautiful day, ain't it?

Yes, it is.

As the man said,

cleanliness is

next to godliness.

Crow: Amen.

And I thought perhaps if we invited
her to the sunday services tomorrow,

we could all
get to know her better.

Reverend Alden,
in all due respect,

if we invite her
into our church,

we will just be
encouraging her to stay.

And we don't
want her to stay.

As a matter of fact, she's about
as welcome as a plague of locusts.

Is it something she's done?

Reverend Alden, people just don't
live in a house that isn't there.

Now, if you ask me,

she's more than a little
bit off her rocker.

You know, I agree
with Mrs. Oleson.

And that animal
of hers, Clyde,

is as crazy as she is.

He's the only horse
I've ever known

that would rather eat
beef jerky and hard candy

than my quality oats
and hay.

Reverend, my only concern
is with the children.

Now, I think she seems
harmless enough.

But, miss beadle,

looks can
be deceiving.

Now I have told my
Nellie and my Willie

to just keep away
from her,

and I can only hope
and pray

that all of the other
parents have sense enough

to do
the same thing.

Mrs. Oleson,
it seems to me

that the Christian thing to do
under circumstances...

Revered Alden,

you stay in walnut grove

only two days
out of the month

while we have to live
with that... that creature

every day.

Well, she seems intent
on staying.

And since the property
was abandoned,

legally she has every right
to stay there.

Well, then, we'll just have
to let nature run its course.

She couldn't possibly survive
the cold of the winter

in the confines
of that root cellar.

Jack, hold still!
Jack, you're being stubborn as a goat.

Now, would you let me get
the foxtails out of your ear?

Jack, stop it!

Jack, come back here!

Get back here!

I'm losing my Patience
with you.

Get back here now!

Put that toy down.
I don't want to play.

All right. Go around
with foxtails in your ears.

See if I care.

Sorry I'm late.

I had to stay home and pick
foxtails out of Jack's ears.

Are you sure it wasn't
flowers you were picking?

I told you
why I was late.

Just thought it'd be nice
if we brought her something.

Willie thinks
she's a witch.

You should have
brought her a dead rat.

Stop talking like that,
and let's go.

It's going to get dark.

It's still morning,
silly.

Come on.

She saw us.

Shh!

Mary: Come on.

Ahem.

Uh, hi.

We came to welcome you
to walnut grove.

May we come in?

All you have to do is knock,
and the door will be opened.

Come on.

Knock knock.

Is anybody home?

My! My!

What have we here?

We're the welcoming
committee.

Oh.

You shouldn't have,
children.

You're too kind.

Please, won't you
come into my house?

I'm kezia horn, and
this is parrot Polly.

That's not a parrot.
It's a crow.

Oh. Shh.

He thinks
he's a parrot.

I wouldn't want
to disappoint him.

Crow: Want a
piece of candy.

Oh. I don't
have no more.

Land sakes, Polly.

You and Clyde have
got a sweet tooth lately.

Ha ha ha!

I was just about to have tea and
oranges when you came a-knocking.

Would you
like to join me?

Can I have coffee
like my pa drinks?

Oh, I think
I can fix that.

Yes.

Yes, we'll be wanting...
7 cups and saucers.

It was whiskey Jake curry
what give me these cups.

He knew I had an eye
for pretty things.

Beautiful, aren't they?

Yeah,
they sure are.

Beautiful. Yeah.
Ha ha.

Water's boiling.

Nice and warm.

Yeah.

Here's your coffee,

all nice and hot
like you asked for.

Thank you, ma'am.

I don't see
any coffee.

Nellie!

Well, this is dumb.
I don't see any coffee.

Then you'll
have to leave.

What?

You can't stay
if you can't see it.

You might accidentally
burn yourself.

They can't see it.
They have to go, too.

I can see it.

Me, too.

Willie?

Nice and strong,
just like pa drinks it.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

Some people never remember
to close the door.

Ha ha!

Carrie, on the cake.

Yes, ma.

Mom, we met
kezia horn today!

And she read our fortunes
from our tea leaves.

That's nice,
girls.

I'm going to raise
a big family someday...

Bigger than ours, ma.

And I'm going
to travel far and wide.

Before you travel
anywhere, young lady,

I want you to take a
short trip out to the yard

and finish taking the
foxtails out of Jack's ears.

I tried to, ma,
but Jack wouldn't let me.

Well, try harder.

And the next time I tell you
to do something, young lady,

I want you to do it.

Yes, ma'am.

Jack! Jack!

Pa, have you seen Jack?

I can't find him
anywhere!

Last time I saw him,
honey,

he was asleep
in the barn.

Thanks!

Jack, are you in here?

Good-for-nothing dog.

Are you sleeping back here?

Boy, are you going to get it
when I find you.

Jack, why didn't you come
when I called you?

Get up, you lazy dog.

I said get up!

Jack?

Jack?

Pa, come quick!

Half-pint!

What's the matter?
What are you yelling about?

He's dead,
isn't he, pa?

Jack traveled a lot of miles
with us across a lot of rivers.

He was
kind of old and tired.

His time had come.

Just wanted
to go to sleep quiet

so he wouldn't
make a fuss.

When he needed me the
most, I wasn't there.

Hey, we always feel that when
we lose somebody close to us.

Wishing
we could be with them,

tell them how much
we love them.

Life doesn't
always work out that way.

Tell you, you and that old
dog had something special.

Had something a lot of people
don't have in a whole lifetime.

Pa...

Can we Bury him on the
low hill over the Meadow

where he loved
to play?

You bet. I think that
would be a fine place.

Love that place.

Why don't you
go on in the house,

and I'll...
I'll bundle him up.

I'll do it, pa.

Half-pint, sun'll
be going down soon.

Can I be alone
with Jack a moment, pa?

Yeah.

I didn't mean the things
I said to you, Jack.

You're the best dog
in the whole world,

the best dog
a girl could ever have.

And I'm going to say a prayer
for you every night

so... so that god keep you safe
and warm in your new bed.

Jack.

There's kezia. Hi!
Hi!

I wonder why kezia
isn't coming to church.

Because, child,
she's a heathen.

Well, maybe she worships at
home like we do sometimes.

Caroline:
Morning, reverend.

Caroline.

Reverend.

Charles.

Reverend: Shall we pray?

All: Our father who art in
heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day
our daily bread...

Hey, you mutt! Git!

Daggone dog
keeps coming around.

That no-account cur was
trying to steal your bacon.

Well, no crime
being hungry.

Sooner that bacon
disappears,

the sooner
I'll be rid of him.

Ha ha ha!
Hey, you little bandit.

How'd you get
on the wagon, huh?

All right. Sit and
relax. Enjoy the ride.

Got to fess up, doc.

I tried laying on them
boards like you said.

It got a mite disagreeable
after a while.

Now, Jonathan, if you want that
back of yours to loosen up,

you got to stay off your feet
for a couple of days.

I can't do that,
doc.

I got me a field
needs plowing.

That's what I figured.

Now here. Get yourself some soap
liniment, camphor, and wintergreen,

and have Alice rub it in
real good at night.

Much obliged, doc.

Don't expect
any miracles.

What you need
is some rest.

Yeah.

Stubborn.
Mule-headed.

Hey, we're home.

Charles!
Where did you find him?

I didn't exactly find him.

It's more like he found me.

Is he really ours
to keep?

I don't see why not.
Where's half-pint?

In the barn.

We'll see if this little
fellow can cheer her up.

Come on!
Come on, boy!

Hey, half-pint.
I got a little surprise for you.

Hey. Well,
come on, boy.

Look what jumped on my wagon
on the way out of mankato.

He's just a stray,
but he's a darned good dog.

He's smart.

Ha ha! Oh,
he really likes you.

He can be yours
if you want him.

Don't want him!

Don't want any dog.

Aw, come on.

He's just trying to give you
a little loving, that's all.

I don't want him!

Ah, we tried.

Come on, boy.

Ma, can't we
let him in?

Not while we're eating.
He'll pick up bad habits.

He's hungry.

Caroline: Well, you can give
him some scraps after dinner.

Well, being in
a strange place and all,

he's probably frightened
to death out there alone.

All right. You can let him in,
but just for tonight.

I'll do it.

We have to name him.

Hey, you're right.
I forgot all about that.

Anybody got any ideas?

We could call him Tom.

Sally north
has a dog named Tom.

Sally north
has a cat.

Oh, yeah.

He does look like
he's wearing a mask,

and I did catch him stealing
when I first saw him.

Why don't we
call him bandit?

Oh, that name
really suits him.

Yeah.

Caroline:
What do you think, Laura?

I don't care
what you name him.

May I
please be excused?

Caroline: You've hardly
touched your supper.

I'm not hungry.

All right, then.

Oh!

Lord almighty!

Hey, why don't you
quit trying to work

until that back
of yours heals up?

Naw. It's going
to be all right.

Sure you'll be all right.

That's why you're moaning
and groaning all the time.

Ah, it's... I got to
take my medicine now.

I'll be like a new man.

I'll be right back.

Suit yourself.

Good morning, Mr. Garvey.

Jumping jehoshaphat,
child.

You shouldn't sneak up
on a man like that.

Oh, I wasn't sneaking.
I was just going to school.

Oh, yeah. Well...

What's in the bottle?

Uh, that's, uh...

Oh, that's just the medicine
that doc baker got for me.

It's the biggest bottle
of medicine I ever saw.

Yeah, well, you know,
as big as I am,

why, I got to have a lot.

Don't like the stuff.

I'll bet kezia'd
have a better cure.

That old magpie?

She's crazier
than a loon.

But she knows everything there
is to know about everything.

Yeah, well, I...

Maybe I'll go on
and see her, huh?

See ya.

See ya.

Oh, dadburn it.

What are you doing,
kezia?

Huh?

It's a perfect day for
hanging out the wash.

Ha ha ha!
Good idea.

Laura: Get away!
I said, get away!

I don't want you
following me.

Nellie: Then whose is he?
Laura: He's a stray!

He's not my dog!

Go away!

Uh, morning.

How do.

I was, uh...

I was wondering
if I could have a few...

Have a few words
with you.

Oh, always a-hankering
after good conversation.

Hey! Polly,
get off the man's head.

Come on in.

Mind you,
use the door.

Uh, name's garvey,
ma'am.

My name's kezia.

Some people
call me kizzy.

Some people
call me crazy.

Some people don't
call me at all.

Heh heh heh.

Uh, me and Mary
was just kind of jawing,

and, uh, she said...

Well... well, doc baker's given me a whole
passelful of remedies for my crick.

Ain't none
of them working,

and I was just
kind of wondering...

Actually kind of hoping if
maybe you'd be having a cure.

A pain? Dull or sharp?

Well, kind of...
Kind of nagging.

You know, like a rope
pulling down low on my back.

You got a touch of
the "tiz"... rheumatism.

I've had it myself
now and then.

You got a cure?

I got the very thing
for it.

You want some paraffin,
some mineral oil,

and a good stiff brush

and a tub of hot water.

What kind of skivvies
do you bed in?

Well, uh...

Ahem.

I'll, uh... I'll be
in my red flannels.

Them's just the thing
for keeping the heat in.

Yeah. Oh,
with the pain that low,

be sure
to keep your flap shut.

Yes'm.

Here you go.

This is what
we're gonna do.

Mr. Hanson?

Man:
He went home sick.

Nels. Didn't
recognize your voice.

Well, hanson
feeling poorly, is he?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He was... he was dizzy.

He was very dizzy.

Ha ha ha!

What's...
What's so funny?

I don't know.
Ha ha ha!

Are you all right?

Oh, couldn't be better.

The trouble is
I'm very thirsty.

I just can't get enough
of this water.

Well, I'll see you
at the meeting tonight.

What meeting?

Well, the meeting
at the church.

We're supposed to decide

whether we're going to let
kezia in the congregation.

Oh. That meeting.

I'll be there.

Are you sure
you're all right?

Fine and dandy.

See you tonight.

You betcha, Charles!

Oh.

Be quiet.
Go on. Get away.

That's Jack's toy.
Get away.

I said get away!

Go on. Get away.

Get away.

Go away.

Shoo!

Go away.

I want to thank you,
Charles,

for helping me try to prevail
upon them to reconsider,

even if our pleas
did fall on deaf ears.

The way they carried on, you'd think
she brought the plague to town.

Well, I find myself caught
in the middle of this.

Minister of
the congregation,

I'm the Shepherd
of the flock, but...

If the flock won't take
in one of its lost sheep,

why, I must abide by their
wishes or risk losing them all.

You know, I wouldn't have said
that when I was a younger man.

Well, I'll
tell her tomorrow.

I'd rather it be me than
to have them cast her out

without a kind word
or a blessing.

I don't envy you,
reverend.

Good night.

Good night, Charles.

Nels.
Huh? What?

Nels?

I vote nay.

Nels, the meeting's over.
Your wife's gone home.

Oh, that explains why
it's so quiet in here.

Are you all right?

Sure. I'm just thirsty,
that's all.

I need a drink of water.

They're concerned
about your welfare.

You don't have
any protection

against the cold
winter months ahead.

The cold you're
talking about, reverend,

has nothing to do
with winter.

Sounds to me like you're the
one that's doing the protecting.

Oh, don't get me wrong.

I appreciate your calling,

but you see, this isn't the first
time I've been asked to move on,

and I reckon
it won't be the last.

You see,
I'm 80 years old.

Outlived two husbands,

been everywhere
there is to be,

seen everything
there is to see,

and the one thing I've found is the
people are the same everywhere...

Kind of set
in their ways,

afraid of anyone
who's different to them.

It's got nothing to do
with being good or bad

or generous or stingy.

It's human nature.

Don't ever change,
kezia.

It's the people who are
different who move the mountains.

Having lived
as long as I have,

I'm not about to,

but I know
when I don't belong.

Only reason I stayed this
long was the children.

They reached out and
made it all worthwhile.

Where will you go?

Uh... well, I don't
right know at the moment,

but don't you go
worrying none, reverend.

I'll get by.

I'm sure you will,
kezia.

I'm sure you will.

Well,
I'd best be going.

Mind you, don't forget
to close the door.

Pa! Ma said I could go into town a
little bit early and visit with kezia.

All right, darlin'.
We'll see you in church.

Thanks, pa.

Laura: Don't follow me!
I don't want you! Go away!

Go away!

Go on! Get away!

Go home!

I don't want you following me.
Now go home!

Go home.

Knock knock.

Door's open.
Come on in.

Seems you were a mite cross
with that there dog of yours.

He's not my dog.
He's a stray.

Jack was my dog.

He was the best dog in the
whole world and smart, too.

But he died.

I know
how you're feeling.

Lost my first man
whiskey Jake out at sea.

I says, "kezia,
there ain't no man on this earth

that will ever fill
his shoes."

That was before I met
smilin' Willie horn.

You know, a person
gets to be lonely.

Gets hankering
after being needed.

But Jack and I
had something special.

No dog will
ever take his place.

That there heart of yours will
always have a place for Jack.

But I bet it's got a lot
more room in it for loving.

But I can't love
some dumb old dog

who goes around chasing
his tail all the time.

Pretty clever critter
if you ask me.

You wouldn't play
with him,

so he made do with
what he had.

Kind of like you pretending
you have a real house

when you don't have
any walls or a roof.

You don't have to have walls
and a roof to have hospitality.

I wish you weren't
going, kezia.

Well, folks haven't
taken too kindly to me.

I can't stay if I
haven't got a home here.

If you have a home,
would you stay?

Oh, there's a feeling...

A feeling of belonging,
of being needed.

You're a lucky girl.
You've got both.

Me, well, uh,
I'm kind of like that little mutt.

I got a lot
of loving to give,

but I don't seem to kind of
find people who will take it.

I reckon bandit and me
is different from most.

Well, it ain't Christian for folks
not to invite you into church.

Oh, maybe. But it's no worse
than driving off a little dog

who just wants
to love you, is it?

No.

It's just that...

Oh, come on.
Out with it.

Well, I loved Jack so.

When he died...

Yes, and you're afraid to love
bandit because he might die,

and you'd hurt
all over again.

Yes'm.

Well, let me tell
you this, child.

Hurting goes away.

Love, never.

Loving is the greatest
gift the good lord gave us.

Don't waste it.

Not for a moment.

I got to go find bandit.

I'll be back.

I love you.

I love you, too,
child.

Now git.

Ok.

Bandit!

Bandit!

Bandit!

Come on, bandit!

Come on!

Come on, bandit!

Bandit!

Bandit.

Bandit! Come back!

I didn't mean it!

Please come back!

Bandit...

I do love you.

I love you, bandit.

Please don't be afraid.

I love you.

Bandit.

My bandit.

My bandit.

Hey, uh, miss kezia?

Come on, Polly. We're off.

Come on, Clyde.
Whenever you've a mind to.

Come on. There.

Laura: Reverend Alden?

Reverend Alden,
miss kezia's gone.

We can't let her go.

She left because she thought
she didn't belong here.

But she was wrong.

We need her here.

She's got so much love
to give.

She made me see I needed bandit
as much as he needed me.

She was good and kind to everyone
who gave her half a chance.

So what
if she was different?

We're all different.

If we knocked on her make-believe
door, she let us in.

But when she knocked,
nobody heard her.

Seek and
ye shall find.

Knock and it shall
be opened to you.

He preached his gospel as he
walked by the sea of galilee,

talking of love
and kindness.

Healing the sick.

Giving hope to
the poor in spirit.

As I stand before you,
I ask you...

If this gentle stranger...

Who made the blind
to see...

And the lame to walk...

If he were to come today
to our town of walnut grove...

Would you cast him out
just because he was different?

Mrs. Oleson: What we're talking
about has already been voted on.

Now, I for one am not
about to change my vote.

All in agreement,
please raise your hands.

Yahoo! Come on!
Let's go get her!

Laura: Kezia didn't
leave walnut grove that day.

She stayed with us
for the rest of her years...

And so did my dog...

Bandit.