Little House on the Prairie (1974–1983): Season 1, Episode 8 - Ma's Holiday - full transcript

While on a second honeymoon trip with Charles in Mankato, Caroline can't help worrying about what's happening back home in Walnut Grove where old friend, Mr. Edwards, finds that babysitting three active little girls is not as simple as it seems.

Miss beadle made Willie oleson
stay after school again

for talking
in class.

Laura: That makes
3 days now.

One more, and she's going
to talk to his mother.

What is the matter?

Charles: What could be
the matter?

You all look like you have
something up your sleeve.

Well, as a matter of fact,
I was thinking.

I knew it.

Well, I was thinking... I'm going
to take a trip to mankato.

It's going to be
very lonesome,

just me, a couple of
horses, a load of lumber.

And then I got to thinking
it's been a long time

since my wife
had a holiday.

Charles, you can't
be serious.

Well, I can,
and I am.

I want you
to go with me.

But this is Monday, and you
won't be back till Saturday.

We'll get along
just fine, ma.

It will be fun.
We can do it.

Sure, they can.

Well, you don't expect
me to go traipsing off

and leave 3 children all
alone on the prairie.

Of course not. I figured grace
could take care of them.

Well, you really can't ask
another woman just to move in...

Well, I already did. Grace
said she'd be more than happy.


Please, ma?

What if something
went wrong,

if one of them
got sick or...

Grace is a very responsible
woman, isn't she?


Then it's settled.

You and I are going
to have a holiday.


Oh, grace,
am I too early?

No. It's not that.

I wanted to send
word to you.

It's just that I've got
this terribly sore throat.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Couldn't you postpone your
trip till I'm feeling better?

I wish I could,
but I promised oleson

I'd have that merchandise I'm hauling
for him Saturday at the latest.

Oh. Well, maybe if I was
to bundle up real good.

No, no. I wouldn't
think of that.

You take care of yourself.
Stay warm.

Oh, Charles, I'm just
sick about this.

Nothing we can do about it.
Take care.

Now, it's going to be up to you
girls to keep everything spotless.

I don't want Mrs. Snider... do
you know where the kerosene is?

We know, ma.

And you know how
to skim the milk?

Yes, ma.

Laura: We've seen you
do it a hundred times.

Caroline: And don't you forget
to comb out your hair

and brush it every night

and to say your prayers
before you go to bed and...

Feed the chickens.

And gather
the eggs.

And air the sheets.

That's right, and...

Oh, dear.

There's so many things, I don't
know what I've forgotten.

Here comes pa!

Oh, no.
I'm not ready.

Laura: Where's
Mrs. Snider?

Charles: Ah, she couldn't
come, half-pint.

She's sick...
Got a sore throat.

Mary: Couldn't we get
somebody else, pa?

Charles: I tried.
I just couldn't.

I'm sorry.

Well... it's probably
all for the best.

Maybe it is.

You won't have to do a
thing around the house.

We'll clean
and everything.

It'll be fun. Please say
you will, Mr. Edwards.

Say I will what?

Why don't you tell me about
this thing one at a time?

Ma can't go to mankato with pa
unless somebody stays with us.

And we just thought maybe you
could, if you had a mind to.

Stay with you kids...
Is that what this is about?

Yes! Please?


Would you behave yourself
and mind what you're told?

Hope to die!

You mean you will?

Well, I might
could be persuaded.


That's great!

We'll be good.

We promise!
We promise!

Carrie: We'll do
everything you say.

Edwards: How come you smell
so much of lemon verbena?

After all, Carrie is a little
young for me to leave her.

I suppose so.

Laura: Ma, you can go!

Mary: Mr. Edwards is
going to look out for us.

Charles: Hey, now, that's the
best news I heard all day!


Caroline: Charles?

Edwards: Oh, don't think
nothing of it.

What are neighbors for
except to be neighborly?

I thought you were
working at the mill.

I got laid off
for this week.

Seems like the lord sent Mr.
Edwards to us.

Well, I'm sure Mr. Edwards has
other things he'd rather do

than tend
to 3 little girls.

Now, if they were
little boys...

We can do anything
boys can do.

That may be, but...
Sure, they can.

I don't know why I didn't
think of you first off.

I'm going
to feel a lot safer

having a man
around the place

while we're gone,
won't you?

What time you folks figuring
to shove off?

The sooner, the better. I'd like to
make mankato by sunset tomorrow.

Mr. Edwards, if this
is inconveniencing you...

Oh, no, no.
Not at all.

All I got to do is go home
and get another shirt.

That means the children would
be left alone, doesn't it?

No. We'll go with him.
We can help him.

I won't leave them out of my sight,
if that's what's fretting you.

It's all settled.
I'll get the satchel.

Now, it's only
until Saturday.

Mary: We know, ma.

And if there's anything
you don't know...

Laura: We're
to ask Mr. Edwards.

That's right. And let him
light the lamp and the fire.

I don't want you
fiddling with matches.

Come on, let's go.

You all don't worry
about a thing.

I won't worry.

We'll be
good, ma.

We really will.
We promise.

Well, I've made
your meals for today.

So all you have to do
is warm them up.

Yes, ma.

Oh, I know I've
forgotten something.

You mind Mr. Edwards
while we're gone, all right?

Yes, pa.

I love you.


Give me a kiss.

All right.

Now, you be a good girl,

I will.

Good-bye, sweetie.


Ha ha!

Oh, Mr. Edwards,
I wouldn't. I...

Kids love it.

They love it. Would
you get on the wagon?

If you're good, I'll bring
you a present from mankato.

Watch out for rattlers
in the grass.

Laura: We will, ma.

Oh, and don't let Carrie
go to the creek alone.

Mary: We never do, ma.

And, girls...

that's enough.

All right.

Mankato's this way.

Well, now, it seems
like I slipped when I made

that last cut
into the tree trunk.

This big, old, cussed thing
comes crashing down on me,

pinning me
right to the ground.

Well, now, I know there's
not a lmng soul

within 50 miles of there.

So I says to myself,
I says,

"Mr. Edwards, your number
is up for sure this time."

Then you know
what I done?

No. What?
No. What?

Well, sir, I kind of raised up
most as a could,

and I reached back
and was able to get

a plug of chawing tobacco
out of my back pocket.

See, I figured
I might as well die happy.

But you didn't
die, did you?

Of course
he didn't die.

Well, he might have and then
come back to life again.

They do that a lot
in the Bible.

Well, wouldn't want
to take a chance on that.

What happened next,
Mr. Edwards?

Hmm, next.

Well, two, 3 days
must have passed, you see,

and I was getting powerful
hungry, powerful hungry.

Well, I falls asleep,
don't you see,

and I dreamed that
these Indians come along

and lifted that tree
right off of me.

Only it wasn't
a dream.

How'd you know that?
That's what happened, though.

Yes, sir. Then you know
what happened next?

No. Tell us!
No. Tell us!

They got
a custom among savages.

That custom is that when they
save a man's life,

he becomes their blood brother
from then on.

Get yourself
an Indian moniker, too.

What's yours,
Mr. Edwards?


You ever hear
of sitting bull?


That's the one they
gave me... sitting bull.


Carrie, no, no! What
if ma saw you do that?

Well, ain't nobody
gonna tell ma, huh?

Well, anyway, she ought
to eat her supper.

Oh, sure, sure, sure.
She'll do that.

Here you go.

Come on, now.
Open up your face.

You got to get some of this
inside you if you want to grow.

Come on.

Come on,
open it up.

do one of these.

Come on.

Here, you better
try it.

I guess you can't
force her.

Here, Carrie.
Take it.

Carrie, you promised
you'd be a good girl.

Good girl!

Hey, do you put up with
this at every meal, do you?

Mary: She's just
teasing you.

She'll probably eat
when she's hungry.

We'll do
the dishes.

Oh, well, I'll help you.
Here we go. Here we go, Jack.

There. Nothing cleaner than
a hound's tooth, I hear tell.


All right, what's next
on the docket?

Well, better give
the cows some hay

Clean out the stall.

Well, that's man's work.

Won't tell ma about Jack
licking off Carrie's dish.

You bet. She'll never let Mr.
Edwards stay with us again.

Do you believe that stuff
about, you know, sitting bull?

Well, I didn't want
to say anything,

but there's
a real sitting bull.

There is?

I saw it in the paper pa brought
back from mankato last week.

He massacred
general custer

in a place called
little bighorn.

Mr. Edwards did?

No, silly. That's
not his real name.

That makes Mr. Edwards
a liar, doesn't it?

Well, there may be
lots of sitting bulls.

Lots of people named
Smith, aren't there?

Better do this tonight, till
you get the hang of it.

Don't look like
all that much to me.

Mary: There.

All right, now.
Come on. Come on.

Well, I guess it's about
time we all hit the hay.

Would you please tell us a story, Mr.

Story? Oh, no, no. It's
too late for that.

Now, you remember what you
promised your father...

No back talk.
Now, off you go.

Aren't you going to listen
to us say our prayers?

Well, your folks
do that, do they?

Every night.

Well, then, I guess I
ain't got no choice.

Both: Now I lay me
down to sleep,

I pray the lord
my soul to keep,

if I should die
before I awake,

I pray the lord
my soul to take.


Well, there ain't no
danger of that tonight.

Come on, off you go.

Aren't you going to kiss us good night?
Ma and pa always do.

Oh, well...

All right.

Good night,
Mr. Edwards.

Good night,
Mr. Edwards.

Sleep tight.

The eggs!


I forgot to remind them
to carry the eggs to...

Caroline, now, please.
This is your holiday.

You can't spend the whole time
worrying about the girls.

But if
the eggs spoil...

All right, listen. I'm
going to make you a deal.

If you don't worry
about the girls,

if you don't talk about the
girls for the rest of the trip,

I'll buy you a new
bonnet in mankato.

Are you trying
to bribe me?

Call it a present,

with certain
conditions attached.

Same thing.

Would it be
so hard to do?

You know, I can remember before
those 3 little ones came along,

you and I had
lots to talk about.

You're right.

This isn't my holiday,
it's ours together,

and I'm not going to spoil
it our very first night away

by worrying about them
when they're fast asleep.

That's my girl.

If the eggs spoil,
they spoil.

What's this?

What's the matter?

Ah, you're hungry.

Yes. All right. All right.

Pull yourself together.
I'll get you something to eat.

Got to be a better
system than this.

Man can't go around getting up in the
middle of the night every night.

No, sir. Got to have
your sleep, for sure.

You got to have
your sleep, too,

or you're gonna be
short forever.

Ah, sure. This is gonna be good.
You're gonna like this.

Like that.
We'll do this just once.

Then you and me are gonna come to
an understanding about meal hours.

That looks good.

There you are, Carrie.



Let's see.

God love you. Heh.

Come here, Jack.
Come here, Jack.

There you are. Come on.
Eat 'er up there.

You do up the dishes.
I'm going to bed.

That's a good boy.

Laura: Mr. Edwards didn't wake
us up early enough that morning,

so we were late
getting off to school.

But Mr. Edwards said he was
looking forward to a restful day

with just him and Carrie.


Now look what you done.

That's the ticket.
You just stay right there.



Thing I don't understand is
how your ma gets anything done.

Carrie, stop!

You stay right here.

What have you got?
Whoa, boy.

That ought to be
enough for 4.

Supper's on!


What's that
awful smell?

Afraid that's
our supper.

Pure nectar.
Ha ha!

Just about on here.

Say, you ever had
injun stew before?

Girls: No.

Oh, ho! You're in for a treat.
Come here.

Take a whiff of
that there. Go on.

Sioux injun
gave me that recipe.

Of course, then I added a few little
secret ingredients of my own.

Best thing you ever
put down your gullet...

Meaning no disrespect to your
ma's cooking, of course.

Ha ha!

Get some of the crust
off the bottom there.

Woman: Enjoy your meal.

Caroline: Thank you.

Here you are.

Charles: Thank you.


You really know
you're on holiday

when you get
waited on like this.

I could get spoiled
very easily.

You deserve
to be spoiled.


it's as good
as it looks.

It is good.

You're not supposed
to agree with me.

You're supposed to say it's
not as good as my cooking.

But lying is a sin.

It's nowhere near as
good as your cooking.

How much did it cost?

Don't ask. It will
ruin your appetite.

Nothing could.

Aren't you proud of me? I'm not
even worried about the children.

Good for you.

You know, after all that
fancy writing on the menu,

I thought we'd get a lot
more food than this.

Kind of hummingbird
portions at buffalo prices.

One thing
about the children,

they won't go hungry.

Well, don't wait. Dig in.

Come on, eat up.

Good, huh?

Told you
it was good.

Go on, Laura. Eat up.

Don't be bashful.
Just dig right in.

Put hair
on your chest.

I don't think I want
hair on my chest.

Edwards: Oh,
I forgot about that.

Well, see, it don't work
that way with girls.

The way it works with girls, see,
it makes their hair all curly.

That's my good girl.

Come on.

Ain't that good?


What's the matter with you girls?
Ain't you hungry?

We had
an awful big lunch.

And miss beadle brought
cookies for everybody...

At recess.

This is awful good, Mr. Edwards,
but we're just stuffed.


Well, It'll
keep till tomorrow.

Oh, it will?

Come on here, now, ok?

Here. Put your head...

Now, come on.
Lay down there.

How do you expect to get any sleep
squirming around like that?

You two stop staring at me.
It makes me nervous.

Mary: Maybe you better
read to her.


Mary: That's what pa does
when she's restless.

Laura: I'll get
the three bears.

Seems like a thing like
that would spoil her.

Mary: She usually goes to
sleep before he's finished.

Edwards: Here,
let's sit down here.

Yep. There we go.
Let's see that.

Well, that don't look like nothing
that would interest a little kid.

She likes it.

Go ahead.

Oh, well, uh...

Carrie: Read.

Edwards: Uh...

Well, sir... seems like there
was these 3 bears here.

Carrie: No, no, no.

There was, too. It's right
there on the cover.

Don't you see there? There's 3 bears.
1, 2, 3.

Once upon a time.

Oh! Oh, I see what you mean.
All rightie.

Once upon a time, there
was these 3 bears.

One of them was a big,
mean, ornery-looking cuss.

No, no, no.

was they all women?

She likes it the
way pa reads it,

not with the words changed.

Kids are funny
that way.

Oh, well, then, uh,
why don't you read it?

Let me see if you
know how to read.

"Once upon a time, there was
3 bears who lived together

in a house of their
own in a wood."

Say, that's pretty good
for a kid your age.

No, no. Go on. See if you
can read what comes next.

Bet you can't. Looks like
it gets harder to me.

"One of them was a
little, small, wee bear,

"and one was
a middle-sized bear.

"The other was
a great, huge bear.

"They each had a pot
for their porridge...

"a little pot for
the small, wee bear

"and a middle-sized pot
for the middle bear

and a great pot for the
great, huge bear."

Carrie: Read!

Oh, coming.


Where are you going?

Carrie's crying.

We're in mankato.


We're on our second honeymoon.
We're in mankato.


Well, I was having
a nightmare.

It must have been
all that rich food.

Did I awaken you?


Oh, good.

Good night.



Are you asleep?


You know what?

No. What?

Mr. Edwards doesn't
know how to read.

Maybe they didn't have
school books

back in the old days
when he was a little boy.

But they must have.

George Washington
could read.

We forgot
to gather the eggs.

It's raining
awfully hard.

It doesn't matter.

If we leave them there

one of the hens might sit on
them, and they might get bad.

If we sell bad eggs
to Mr. Oleson,

he sells them to somebody else,
and you know what that means.

Mary: Oh, I forgot. We aren't
supposed to light matches.

It's an emergency.

Maybe we ought to
wake up Mr. Edwards.

No. He might
get mad.

Chicken thieves!

There's only one way
to handle chicken thieves.

Edwards: What the...

Get in here!


Look what you
made me do!

Now, what in tarnation are
you two doing out there

in the rain
getting wringing wet?

Mary: We're sorry. We
forgot to gather the eggs.

Oh, you did, huh? So you
get up, you sneak off,

you light the lantern... and you
know you ain't supposed to do that.

We know, but...

But you did it anyhow,

sneaking around
the middle of the dark

in the rain.

Don't you know that there's
wolves prowling around out there?

Mary: In the rain?


How am I going to explain
that to your ma and pa?

Do you have to?

It wouldn't be
fair and square not to.

Mary: We're sorry.
Laura: Yes, Mr. Edwards.

All right, now, get to bed.
Hurry up, now.

Get on up there.

Ohh! Make sure you get
dried off real good, now.

Lord have mercy.

Woman: Now, that's
what I call fetching.

Isn't that fetching,
Mr. Ingalls?

Charles: Fetching is
exactly the word for it.

Woman: I especially like
the ruching, don't you?

So stylish this season.


Of course, it's not
very practical.

It's not
supposed to be.

How much is it?

Only $2.50, ma'am.

A real bargain.

Oh, that's
too dear.

Now, no, it isn't. You go ahead
and put that hat right back on.

You wouldn't happen to have seen
Mona or Louise, have you, Jess?

Not this morning,
Mrs. Kirkwood.

Have they run away

Yes. Wouldn't
you just know it?

Without an if, and,
or but to their mother.

I'll keep
an eye out.

Thank you, and if you see them, you
tell them to skedaddle on home.

I certainly will.

I hope she
finds them soon.

I'm afraid she won't.

They're dead.

Been dead
'most 15 years.

But she's
looking for them.

Well, you see, she was away from
home the day they were killed.

It was wartime.

Mr. Kirkwood was with sherman,
marching through Georgia.

Anyhow, there came
this electrical storm,

and the kirkwood house was
struck... burned to the ground.

With the children
in it.

She hasn't been right
in the head ever since.

But I thought you wanted
this lovely bonnet.

Another day.

We'll be back.



Where are you?







Uh, Carrie?





I'm not going to panic here.
The main thing's not to panic.

Now, she's not in the stream.
We know that.

Oh, where could
that little kid be?




Mary, look!

Mr. Edwards, Carrie
shouldn't be up there!

She's too little.
She'll fall off.

Well, there ain't
no chance of that.

I got her dress
nailed to the roof.

Caroline: I'd just as soon have gone to prayer
meeting. It wouldn't have cost anything.

Charles: The fella
at the freight depot

said it's the funniest play
he's ever seen.

We need laughs more than we need a
prayer meeting to get our minds off...

2, please.

Thank you.

Man: All set.

Girl, melodramatically: Why is
our mommy going to leave us?

Doesn't she know
we need her?

Second girl: I guess
she doesn't love us.

First girl:
Here she comes now.

Maybe we can make her
change her mind.

Second girl: Mommy,
please don't go away!

Woman: I must.
I have my own life to live.

Your grandmother
will take good care of you.

First girl: But we need you, mommy.
We love you.

Woman: Your love
is not enough.

I cannot waste the best
years of my life

cooped up in a small house
in the country.

I must go to the city...

Bright lights,

First girl: You promised papa
you'd stay with us.

Second girl: When he had to go
away to war,

you said you would...

First girl:
Forever and ever!

Second girl:
Till we grew up.

Charles: We'll start
home tomorrow morning.

Woman: I cannot stay
any longer.

How does that look?

Mary: Nobody would
ever be able to tell.

I ain't gonna lie
about this, you understand.

I mean, if your ma and pa
ask me a direct question...

Like if they was to say
to me, "Mr. Edwards,

did you shoot a hole in my
roof while we was gone?"...

I'd own right up to it.

I just don't see no reason for
opening the subject if they don't.

Well, why would they ask you about
it now that you fixed the hole?


You disappointed?

About what?

That we're going home
sooner than we planned.

Why would I
be disappointed?

Wasn't exactly a second
honeymoon, was it?

What's so funny?

Well, Caroline... if our first
honeymoon was like this one,

we never would have
had a second honeymoon.

I'm sorry.

Don't be silly.

Wasn't that bad at all.

The only thing
I'm sorry about is

you didn't go to the store
and get that bonnet.

I didn't earn it.

I talked and worried about
the children the whole time.

Well, to be very
honest with you,

I'm as anxious to go home
and see them as you are.

Here we go,
right across the desert. Whoop!

Look out! Hold on tight!
Here we go! Ho ho!

Mary: Hey,
what are you doing?

Look out, now. This critter's
getting dangerous. Whoop!

Laura: Let me on!
Mary: Me, too!

Edwards: Everybody aboard.
All right, there we are.

Everybody on?

Ok, ready!

What do we say? Here we go!





the matter?

It's my back.
I can't move.

Mary: We're sorry, Mr. Edwards.
We didn't mean to hurt you.

It ain't your fault. It's
this dumb back of mine.

It happened
once before.

Should we get
Dr. Baker?

No. There ain't
nothin' he can do.

What did you do the
last time it happened?

Well, as I recall,
I cussed a lot.

We'll go outside.

No, no.
It's all right.




Oh! Gee,
I'm sorry, girls.

I was going to cook you up a
real Edward special tonight.

I don't think I'm going to be
able to bend over the fire.

Oh, don't worry.
We'll cook supper.

Won't taste as good,
but we won't starve.

Ought to be all right by the
time your folks get back.

Wouldn't want them
to see me like this.

They'd think they left you
girls in pretty poor hands.

get along fine.

I'll take care of Carrie, and
Laura can do the chores.

Why do I
have to do the chores?

Because you're
the youngest.

the youngest.

That's silly,
and you know it.

All right, quit your squabbling.

I thought you were supposed
to be taking care of Carrie.

I would, if
you'd stop arguing.

Edwards: Now, you two carry on
like this when your ma's here?

No, sir.

No, sir.

Well, I'm your ma now,
so stop it.


Ah, hello, Laura! Oh, I see
you've got some eggs for me.

Only 9 today.

Oh, the hens
tapering off?

No. Some got broken
the other night.

Well, did you want me
to mark these down,

or you have
some shopping to do?

I guess you can write them down.
Ma will be back tomorrow.

Oleson: Well,
my, how time flies.

You know, if I
didn't know better,

I'd say that was your ma
coming this way right now.

Don't let them
come home, please?

We're not ready
for them!

Keep them here
awhile, please?

Oleson: Ah! How was
the trip, Ingalls?

Charles: It was great, but
it's good to be back.

I'll help you

I was hoping to drop
Caroline at home first.

Uh, I don't see the,
uh, flour sacks.

Well, don't worry.
They're in there.

They're down below

What, do you need
the flour?

Oh, I sure do.

I got a customer taking
off for Dakota territory.

He's really champing
to get going.

Looks like we're going to
have to unload the wagon.

Won't take long.

Mary: Laura!

Put Carrie's
clean dress on her!

Come on, Carrie.

How you feeling?

Oh, never better.
Never better.

Edwards: Oh! The broom!
The broom!

Ha! We done it.


Neat as a pin.


Here they come!

Come on, Carrie.

Mary and Laura: Ma! Pa!

Charles: Whoa!

Charles: There they are!

Caroline, laughing:

Hi, Carrie!

Hi, half-pint.

Caroline: Laura!

Laura: Did you
get us a surprise?

Charles: Well, I think
we just might be able

to find a little surprise
back here in these bags.

Got to wait till
we go in the house.

Hey, Edwards!


Caroline: Well, everybody
looks blooming with health.

Oh, sure, sure.

What did you think
was going to happen?

Well, I just can't
thank you enough.

Oh, well,
it wasn't nothing.

The house kind of
run itself.

You see?
What did I tell you?

Didn't you miss us
just a little bit?

Sure, ma.

a little bit.

Come on, girls.
Let's go inside.

I want you to tell me

about everything that
happened while we were away.

And thanks again.

Charles: Don't worry. I'll bring
the presents in in a minute.

I knew everything was
going to be all right,

but you know the way women
are... they're not around every minute,

they think the roof's
going to cave in.

It wasn't nothing.
Say, how was the trip?

Oh, it... it was fine.
It was marvelous.

Really, I can't
even tell you.

It was a second
honeymoon for us.

Didn't even think
about the kids.

Oh, good, good.

I'd better bring the
presents in the house.

Why don't you come
on in for a minute?

No, thank you,
just the same.

Well, thanks a lot.