Little Dog (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Round One - full transcript

All right guys, all right! In your
corners! In your corners!

Heading into the fifth
round now, for what is

shaping up to be one hell of a showdown

between Tommy "Little Dog" Ross
and Rico "Havoc" Saint George.

Come on, Tommy. Come on. Get it done.

Brawler Tommy Ross
is feeling the absence

of his father, his long-time trainer.

It's safe to say Ross was
not expecting such resistance

from Rico Saint George.

Come on! Let's go! Fuck!

Water's comin' in.



You're doin' good. There you go.
You're doin' good, Little Dog.

Stick with me now.
Stay with me. All right?

- Open your mouth, guard's comin' in.
- Uh-uh.

- What do you mean, "uh-uh"?
- Uh-uh. Hell no.

Look, everybody's watching, my
man. You cannot throw it in now.

Come on. This is your big time.
You're not done. Come on!

You just started, man! You just
started! Now get in there.

Let's go! Come on,
Little Dog! Stay in it!

Tommy Ross has spit out his mouthpiece.

Something is definitely wrong.

- What's he doing?
- What are you doing, man?

- You're gonna forfeit the fight?
- And here's the bell.

- Let's go! Come on! Put it in!
- Get back out there! All right?

What's happening?



Put this in! Let's go! Come
on! This is your round, my man!

What are you waiting on?
Don't be a shithead!

Where you goin', Little Dog?

Why you runnin'? He's all bark,
man! He's all bark!

Come on, Little Dog!
We worked hard for this,

but I'm here for you! Come on!
You're gonna disgrace Mom!

Was it a knockout?

But it wasn't one of our fighters.

It was, unfortunately,
Loyola Ross Junior,

Little Dog's brother.

And here's Tommy's mother, still here.

Is she gonna talk some sense into him?

Looks like Tommy Ross

is burning his bridges tonight.

In all my years, I've never witnessed

such a blatant display of cowardice.

Ross could have walked away

with the Super Welterweight
Championship...

but instead, he's walking away
with his tail between his legs.

What a bizarre turn of events!

What happened here tonight?

I don't know. Only Tommy Ross knows.

Rest assured, boxing fans

will be talking about this
for years to come.

Happy birthday...

to me.

Happy birthday

to me!

Last one for the night,

on the house. Happy birthday.

Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm!

Let go!

- Give me my keys!
- Would you just listen to me

- for five minutes?
- Give me my keys!

- Let go!
- Now, come on.

Give the girl the keys.
What's wrong with you?

Give her the keys. Let her go.

I'm just trying to make sure
she doesn't drive home drunk.

Oh, I didn't know, man. I'm sorry.

Hey, wait a minute. You used
to be that fighter, uh...

Ross! Tommy Ross. Little Dog!

- I thought you looked familiar.
- All right, you got me.

Man, I totally thought
you'd be bigger and taller.

Well, I'm not.

- He was a fighter?
- Yes.

Never been knocked out
in a fight before! Was that

- your claim to fame?
- There's nothing to him.

I could take him.

Go for it! His mother could
take him from what I hear.

Jesus, man! What did you do that for?!

- You told me to go for it.
- Not with a God damn tire iron!

Hey buddy, you OK?

- Get in the car!
- He's pathetic.

My mother, uh...

probably could take either one of you.

♪ Whoa - Whoa!

Hey! Hey!

Hey!

What the fuck are you doing?! Hey!

I got put on hold.
I tried to call back...

I mean, I told you this would happen.

People can't just park
their campers in any old place

and... live there.

Whoa. Can I have this, Uncle Tommy?

Yeah, man. You can have

- anything you want.
- I suppose you, uh...

didn't get Mom anything
for her birthday, then?

I don't know why you're
insisting on dragging me out

to this party for her.
You know it's my birthday.

- Happy birthday.
- Thank you, Chestley.

- It is her 50th.
- Her birthday's not 'til

- next week.
- Nan's only 50?

Yes, sweet. She is 50.
It's a big one for her.

What'd I tell you about
that "nan" shit anyway?

- That's her name.
- No one wants to be called nan

on their birthdays. Nans have gray hair

and shriveled-up vaginas.
Is that how you think of her?

♪ Woman ♪

♪ Woman of the island ♪

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Yay!

Oh!

If only your father was here.

He loved a bit of cake, he did.

God rest his soul.

He's not dead. He's just in jail.

Yeah, well, God might show mercy

and send him off one of these nights

so he doesn't have to suffer
down in that hell hole.

He's up for parole
in a couple of months.

Is he? Oh.

I have some news of my own.

I've been asked to sing solo.

- Judge William's retiring party.
- Whoa! Cool, Mom!

- Can I go ride my bike?
- Yeah, just wear your helmet.

You're not going out
on that bike to get killed.

You go sit and watch TV.

Look, there's chips in the cupboard.

Fine.

I was talking with Pamela on
the phone yesterday evening.

Why?

Why would you talk to that, uh...

- dickhead?
- She was almost my daughter-in-law.

Well, she's not.

She's not gonna be, so I don't know
why you keep calling her up.

You know how that makes me look?

Let the past be in the past.

It's not every day a good-looking woman

mentions your name in conversation.

Happy birthday, beautiful!

Aww!

This is the best female libido
rejuvenator on the market.

This is expensive stuff.

- I'm pretty sure my libido...
- Mom.

Even a gorgeous piece such as yourself

might need a boost now,
seeing as you're...

Now that you're 50.

Aww! Give your mother a kiss, Lolee.

You're the only one who thought

to get me anything sensible
for my birthday.

- It's my birthday.
- Here we go again, me, me, me.

It is her 50th.

- Yeah, 10 years ago, maybe.
- La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!

- Can't hear you!
- I should get to my seminar.

- Anyone wanna come?
- No, thank you.

- Hey, um, guys?
- Lolee, can you pick up

- some teabags later?
- Uncle Tommy's on TV!

Why's he on TV?

- What'd he do now?
- taking out two men...

- Lord knows.
- Fans are going crazy.

180 000 views of Tommy's
street fight in just 24 hours.

- Yeah, that doesn't matter.
- Yeah.

No. That's right. That's right.
That doesn't matter. OK?

'Cause some guy, he could, he could

wrap his scrotum around a cactus
plant until he squirts his seed

- and that gets a million views.
- Pamela, how does it feel

to have your old flame fighting again?

Please. That is not a fight.
And Rico will not let that

- get to his head. Right, honey?
- That's right. That's right.

And you know what? Let me
tell you this, Tommy Ross.

There's a real fight waiting for you,

if ever your testicles drop.

And another thing,

Rico will come to you. All you gotta do

is say yes, baby.

And actually show up. And fight.

Well, that's it for now.
Thank you, Rico and Pamela,

for coming in. The fight is on.

Well, what do you say, Little Dog? Huh?

Wanna come out of retirement
or what? Gonna make a comeback?

Huh? Rocky! Rocky!

Rocky!

Stop it, Lolee.

All right.

Happy birthday, Mom.

All right.

Tommy Ross? "Little Dog" Ross?

Tammy Mackey here. We're live
from downstream on VONL.

Would you care to comment
on Rico Saint George's

challenge on national television?

Uh...

No.

Well, this could be a way
back into the sport for you.

You know, get you out of the
trailer that you're living in.

I don't, uh...

I don't live in a trailer.

So do you live with your mother?

No. No.

Is your mother aware that the
man you attacked in the video

is the grandson of
retiring Judge Williams?

And how do you think that will
affect her performance

- at his retirement event?
- I'm gonna go.

OK. It's over.

Well...

maybe you could come into the
studio for an interview.

Hey! Hey! That's my lad right there!

Look! That's my son!

- What?
- You could come into the studio

- for an interview, maybe?
- Um...

Uh... yeah?

No. I don't know.

Well, there you have it, folks.

Tommy "Little Dog" Ross
leaving us hanging as to whether

he'll get back in the ring
with Rico Saint George.

You give it to him, Tommy!
Yeah, that's my son, Tommy!

Remember? I was telling you about him.

Stay tuned for weather.

Did he give you an answer?

- Not yet.
- I want this fight to happen.

That guy's a joke. You could
be training for Vegas right now.

- Big money!
- Look, forget the big money,

all right? Just make it happen.

- Make what happen?
- I want Little Dog

- to accept my challenge.
- How can I do that?

Are you an ape or do you have a brain?

- No.
- You don't have a brain?

I mean I'm not an ape.

That's right, because apes
have brains. Idiot!

He'll accept the challenge.

What else has he got going on?

Good... 'cause I wanna have some fun

- with this Little Dog.
- So, Jeanne...

just had a new set of cupboards

installed in her kitchen. Very exciting.

But her sister,

the so-called "interior decorator,"

she's coming over next weekend
and if Jeanne knows her sister,

she knows that there
will be some tension.

Is that right, Jeanne?

Is it safe to assume

that she's the pretty one?

She's got better hair,

bigger tits, tighter ass.
She probably married

a little bit of money.
I mean, your sister's a bitch.

Right, Jeanne? Jeanne, talk!

Well, um...

Just say yes, my sister's a bitch.

"My sister's a bitch."

Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't
hear that. Could you guys

hear any of that? No?

You gotta speak up, Jeanne.

You're a wimp! You're a pussy!

And you know what pussies do?

They lie around just waiting
to get screwed!

No wonder your husband
ran off with the cable guy!

Your sister's a bitch, Jeanne! Say it!

If you don't have the courage
to fight for what you want,

you will never get what
you want. Oh, you're scared?

You wanna climb back in your
mama's womb, suck your thumb

and stick your umbilical
cord up your ass?

Well, too bad! You have to fight!

Now, say it!

Say it! Say it! Say it!

I'm gonna kill that bloody bitch!

Good for you, my dear. Good for you.

Yes! That's right, Jeanne!

Go on, love yourself, mean girl!

All right, I'll see you guys next week.

- Watch out!
- Oh! Oh!

Uncle Tommy, are you all right?

Nan! Nan, help!

Please be OK.

Please be OK.

- I'm OK.
- You're indestructible, man!

- Now you have to fight Rico.
- Chestley!

C'mon, you know you can't lose!

- Chestley, hon, are you OK? Oh!
- I'm fine, Nan.

- Here, let me check you out.
- What were you thinking?!

- What did I do?
- You ran into the poor kid!

You could've killed him.

- This finger.
- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Yeah, that could be broken.

We should get him to the
emergency. Come on.

Yeah, can I, uh... Can I get a ride

- to the hospital?
- I suppose.

But take that God-forsaken bike

and throw it in the garbage first.

- I can't breathe.
- For God's sakes,

stop being so dramatic!

So they tell me you're a fighter.

- Yeah, they lie.
- Oh.

Well, what happened?

I got into a fight.

Right.

So... you used to be a fighter,

now you just get into fights?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

You don't remember me, do you?

I don't remember you.

But you look familiar. Doesn't she?

Yeah... um...

- Do you dance at Bottom's Up?
- That's a strip club.

- Sunday nights is Nurses Night.
- No, I'm not a stripper.

I went to high school with Tommy.

It's Vani Ebdeen.

Dr. Vani Ebdeen.

- Vannie the Mannie?
- No, that's not actually

- how it's pronounced. It's Vani!
- Yes! You're the doctor's daughter!

- Skinny loner one.
- Yeah.

Stringy hair, spots.
You kept yourself to yourself,

- didn't you?
- Did you ever get a boyfriend?

Whatever did you make of yourself?

I'm a doctor.

All right. What's...
what's the deal, Doctor?

Well, your x-rays show

one broken rib.
The rest is just bruising.

So get plenty of rest

and you'll be fine in a few weeks.

Also, I'll give you a prescription

for some pain medication.

Here you go.

Let's give Tommy some privacy

so he can get dressed.

You know, I'm a personality

in this town. People know me.

Yeah, because of me.

Do you forget that I'm a singer?

I think everybody's forgotten that, Mom.

Well, they would've remembered tonight

if you hadn't beaten up
Judge William's grandson

all over the internet.

Please...

don't humiliate us any further.

Hmm?

You're not a fighter anymore.

Hmm?

You're slow.

I don't mean slow physically.
You are that too, but...

you're slow the other way.

It's taken us five years
to be able to hold our

heads up in this town.

Don't fight Rico Havoc again, hmm?

I won't.

You don't have to worry about that.

I'm not gonna fight.

I'm done.

I better go tell 'em.

Tell who?

The reporter.

Thank you for your support.
I know you're eager

to talk to Tommy,
but he won't be fighting.

The Ross family has worn many hats.

Sadly, boxing is no longer
one of those hats.

Tommy's been wasting away
his last few years, so frankly,

we don't really think he could
hold his own in a ring anymore.

- Sing something, Mom!
- What? Stop it, you!

Tommy! People are saying
that you're too burnt out,

that you're too useless
to go back in the ring.

Are you prepared to offer a
statement in response

to Rico Saint George's challenge
that he issued

on live television?

Not everybody lives up
to their potential,

and at a certain point,

you have to accept that and move on.

OK? He's not a fighter.

- He won't be fighting.
- Yes, I will.

I'll fight.

Inside the ring or out,
it doesn't matter to me.

I'll... I'll gladly have another
go with me old buddy Rico.

I'm in the best...

I'm in the best shape of my life.

Uncle Tommy is gonna destroy Rico Heavy.

He's gonna knock his head off.
Tommy has never been knocked out.

Thanks for this, folks.
Oh, Tommy. Just one more thing.

Agh!