Lip Sync Battle (2015–…): Season 4, Episode 13 - Ramona Singer vs. Melissa Gorga - full transcript

- Hit it!
- (funky music playing)

♪ It takes two to make
a thing go right ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ It takes two to make it outta sight ♪
- ♪ Hit it ♪

♪ I wanna rock right now ♪

♪ I'm Rob Base and I came to get down ♪

♪ I'm not internationally known ♪

♪ But I'm known to rock a microphone ♪

♪ Because I get stupid,
I mean outrageous ♪

♪ Stay away from me
if you're contagious ♪

♪ Ladies love me, girls adore me ♪



♪ I mean even the ones
who never saw me ♪

♪ Like one, two, three, get loose now ♪

- ♪ It takes two ♪
- (crowd cheering)

♪ It takes two ♪

What is up, Lip Sync fam?

I am so, so, so excited about tonight.

Trust me, it'll have
you screaming "Bravo!"

First, your man of the house.

It's LL Cool J!

("Headsprung" by LL Cool J plays)

♪ They call me Big L'y ♪

♪ Big silly ♪

♪ Big money ♪

♪ Big Billy ♪



Hands up! Hands up!

♪ I be sexing wit these bars ♪

Hands up! Hands up!

Everybody say, "Hell, yeah!"

- Crowd: Hell, yeah!
- Now scream!

- (crowd screaming)
- ♪ Headsprung ♪

She vocalizes.

She hypnotizes.

She's Chrissy Teigen.

(cheers and applause)

(imitates air horn)

- What up, Chrissy?
- This is my show tonight.

Oh, I love it.

I love it. Welcome to Lip Sync Battle.

(cheers and applause)

If you're ready to meet the
contenders, make some noise.

- (cheers and applause)
- (dramatic music plays)

She's Jersey's finest,

a fashionista,

an entrepreneur, and a boss lady.

From The Real Housewives of New Jersey,

give it up for Melissa Gorga!

Yes!

And this next young lady
represents the Big Apple.

She's an entrepreneur,

and a self-made woman.

From The Real Housewives of New York,

make some noise for Ramona Singer.

(cheers and applause)

We got the Real Housewives on LSB.

Ladies, welcome to the show.

- Thank you!
- Chrissy: I have been waiting for this one.

I am a housewife in training.

Hey, come on anytime!

- LL: Oh, yeah!
- Chrissy: Beverly Hills!

Is the Countess still on?

Oh, well, didn't she lose her title?

- (crowd groans)
- No, she'll always be...

- No, no, she'll always be the Countess.
- Melissa: Shade. Shade.

- LL: I love it.
- I didn't mean that!

Well, we're gonna start things
off tonight with Melissa.

So, Ramona, please
have a seat in the VIP.

- (cheers and applause)
- Melissa, come on over.

Yes, Melissa!

Melissa, what will your
first song be tonight?

You wanna tell 'em, you wanna?

It's gonna be a little love song.

LL: I like it, I like it.

Well, ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together

for Melissa Gorga!

(cheers and applause)

("Before He Cheats" by
Carrie Underwood plays)

Oh!

♪ Right now ♪

♪ He's probably slow-dancin'
with a bleach blonde tramp ♪

♪ And she's probably gettin' frisky ♪

♪ Right now ♪

♪ He's probably buyin' her
some fruity little drink ♪

♪ 'Cause she can't shoot whiskey ♪

♪ Right now ♪

♪ He's probably up behind her
with a pool stick showing her ♪

♪ How to shoot a combo ♪

♪ And he don't know ♪

♪ I dug my key into the side ♪

♪ Of his pretty little souped-up ♪

♪ Four-wheel drive ♪

♪ Carved my name into
his leather seats ♪

♪ I took a Louisville
slugger to both headlights ♪

♪ Slashed a hole in all four tires ♪

♪ Maybe next time he'll
think before he cheats ♪

♪ I might have saved a little
trouble for the next girl ♪

♪ 'Cause the next time that he cheats ♪

♪ Oh, you know it won't be on me ♪

♪ 'Cause I dug my key ♪

♪ Into the side of his
pretty little soup-ed up ♪

♪ Four-wheel drive ♪

♪ Maybe next time he'll think ♪

♪ Before he cheats ♪

♪ Oh ♪

(cheers and applause)

So Chrissy, you have... you
have an opinion about her life.

- You've been watching her life, following her.
- Chrissy: Uh, yeah!

She's married to Joe. Juicy Joe.

He would never ever
cheat in his entire life.

- I know everything about these people.
- I love it.

So does John, everybody.

I tweet about it every night.

Melissa: You do. I love it.

I love every second of it.

LL: So Melissa, what's it like

performing Carrie Underwood
on Lip Sync Battle?

What's that feel like? What's the vibe?

This is awesome. You guys
are an amazing audience.

- They're, like, alive!
- Chrissy: I know!

- (cheers and applause)
- LL: Hey, Ramona.

So were you vibin' with Melissa,

or are you thinking of a
way to upstage her, or...

Awesome, awesome. She was friggin' hot!

Chrissy: Oh!

- (cheers and applause)
- LL: Oh, that's interesting.

So Melissa, you can go to the VIP.

Hang out with Ramona. Ramona,
you can come on over here.

(cheers and applause)

Come on over. Welcome.

Really, really nice to have you here.

It's really, really nice to be here.

This is... this is really good.

She's single. She's single.
I know everything, I told you.

She's ready to mingle.
It's "Turtle Time."

(cheers and applause)

(Chrissy laughing)

(chuckles)

LL: Ramona!

- Yes?
- What song are you gonna perform for us tonight?

Well, it's something a
little out of my element.

It's sort of, like, a rap song.

- Oh, really?
- (cheers and applause)

LL: Ladies and gentlemen, here she is.

Ramona Singer!

(cheers and applause)

("Milkshake" by Kelis plays)

♪ My milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard ♪

♪ And they're like,
it's better than yours ♪

♪ Damn right, it's better than yours ♪

♪ I could teach you,
but I have to charge ♪

♪ My milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard ♪

♪ And they're like,
it's better than yours ♪

♪ Damn right, it's better than yours ♪

- ♪ I could teach you, but I have to charge ♪
- LL: Hands up!

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ The thing that makes me ♪

♪ What the guys go crazy for ♪

♪ They lose their minds ♪

♪ The way I wind ♪

♪ I think it's time ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ Warm it up ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ The boys are waiting ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ Warm it up ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ The boys are waiting ♪

♪ My milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard ♪

♪ And they're like,
it's better than yours ♪

- ♪ Damn right, it's better than yours ♪
- (LL laughing)

♪ I could teach you,
but I have to charge ♪

♪ My milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard ♪

♪ And they're like,
it's better than yours ♪

♪ Damn right, it's better than yours ♪

♪ I could teach you,
but I have to charge ♪

♪ My milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard ♪

♪ And they're like,
it's better than yours ♪

♪ Damn right, it's better than yours ♪

♪ I could teach you,
but I have to charge ♪

(cheers and applause)

Chrissy: That was hype.

- LL: Chrissy!
- (Chrissy laughing)

Wow, that was amazing!

- ♪ La la la la ♪ You did great!
- How'd I do?

- Make some noise for her!
- (cheers and applause)

Chrissy: Yes, girl!

See, the wonderful
thing about this show,

the beauty of this show
is you can come out here,

you can be crazy, you
can let your hair down.

What does it feel like to
just get out here and get loose

and sing "Milkshake" on Lip Sync Battle?

It's goddamn incredible.

It's incredible!

Like now I know why you do this.

It's incredible! The energy!

- It's like, it's intoxicating.
- Chrissy: Whoo!

It's a hell of a rush, ain't it?

I was just gonna say it's a rush!

- It's a rush.
- It's the biggest rush I've ever had in my life.

- It is!
- (cheers and applause)

- LL: Chrissy?
- Chrissy: Yes?

You know her personality,
you know her business.

- Chrissy: Oh, I know!
- Her entrepreneurial spirit.

- You just saw her sing "Milkshake."
- Chrissy: Honestly...

In the bag of Ramona tricks
that I've seen pulled,

that was like, I mean, I
knew she was gonna bring it.

(cheers and applause)

All right, Melissa, Melissa.

- Did you see those moves?
- LL: Absolutely.

Yeah, but this is New
York against Jersey,

so there's a little
competition going on here.

- LL: I love it!
- Chrissy: Uh-oh.

- Ramona, please have a seat in the VIP.
- (cheers and applause)

LL: The Housewives did their thing

and not one glass of
champagne was thrown.

- Chrissy, that's gotta be some kinda record.
- I know!

Only one I like it. If I know
anything about the Housewives, though,

they never waste champagne!

I'm ready for what's coming.

- Nothing ever disappoints on LSB, baby.
- LL: Absolutely.

Hi!

♪ My milkshake brings all
the boys to the yard ♪

♪ It takes two to make
a thing go right ♪

Lip Sync Battle returns,

and Ramona Singer is a woman
who's conquered everything

from the boardroom
to reality TV screens.

And now she faces her
biggest challenge yet.

Beating Melissa Gorga in
a Lip Sync Battle.

Is she up to the challenge?
Let's take a look.

- These are the dancers? Cool!
- These are your dancers.

- Yay!
- You wanna join right in?

- (bleep) yeah!
- (woman laughing)

Oh, I look thin in these
shoes. I like these shoes.

Maybe I have to take
these shoes with me.

♪ ♪

(Ramona laughing)

(Ramona squeals)

It's the shoes! The
shoes are making me hot!

I'm too flustered to sing!

There's too many hormones out here.

I was a little nervous in the beginning,

but I like the fact that Danielle,

she really has this great energy,

and she made me calm,
'cause I can be very hyper.

And these dancers, they
have such high energy

that I have to look good,

'cause they're so
good! I have no choice!

♪ ♪

Whoa! You're rocking it!

Look at those legs! Look at you! Whoo!

Melissa does have an
edge on me, I must admit.

She is a singer.

She did perform.

I had none of those.

Hopefully for New York, I'll win,

- because...
- There's something in the water in New Jersey.

(Ramona speaks) _

We bring very talented people.

- Did she just say "sewage"?
- Man: Yes!

- Hey, you!
- LL: How are you?

I'm a little nervous,

but I'm very excited.

- Can I take a photo with you?
- Absolutely.

I adore Melissa. We have a great
relationship and friendship,

and you know what?
May the best woman win.

♪ ♪

(cheers and applause)

("Oops! I Did It Again"
by Britney Spears plays)

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I think I did it again ♪

♪ I made you believe ♪

♪ We're more than just friends ♪

♪ Oh baby, it might seem like a crush ♪

♪ But it doesn't mean ♪

♪ That I'm serious ♪

♪ 'Cause to lose all my senses ♪

♪ That is just so typically me ♪

♪ Oh baby, baby ♪

♪ Oops! I did it again ♪

♪ I've played with your heart ♪

♪ Got lost in the game ♪

♪ Oh baby, baby ♪

♪ Oops! You think I'm in love ♪

♪ That I'm sent from above ♪

♪ I'm not that innocent ♪

♪ Oops! I ♪

♪ Did it again ♪

- ♪ To your heart ♪
- Hey!

♪ Got lost in this game, oh baby ♪

- ♪ Oops, you ♪
- ♪ Oops, you ♪

♪ Think that I'm sent from above ♪

♪ I'm not that innocent ♪

(cheers and applause)

Chrissy: Oh my God!

(cheers and applause continues)

Lookit! She looks just like her!

My favorite song!

My favorite New York Housewife!

I'm so excited!

- These are my people.
- LL: Yes, they are!

- Yes, they are!
- (cheers and applause)

So Ramona, what was the thinking behind

you choosing Britney Spears on LSB?

Ramona: Well, it's very easy.

Britney is hotter than hot,

and I think I'm not
looking so bad myself.

- So I'm inspired by Brit.
- No, you're not, no, you're not! No, you look good!

Britney is inspirational.

- No, you look good.
- And I hope I'm inspirational to you women,

'cause you know what? I never
announced my age, but I'm 60.

- Man: Yeah!
- And guess what!

- No face-lift.
- Chrissy: Whoo! Yes, girl!

- You're 60?!
- And no face-lift.

And no face-lift. Make
some noise for that!

- 60 years old!
- (cheers and applause)

- See?!
- LL: Melissa.

What were you thinking
as you watched Ramona

apply her charm and do her thing?

I mean, that... The Pinot
Grigio made the whole thing.

The outfit's amaz... I... I can't!

I know this is a competition,
but that was amazing.

- (cheers and applause)
- Melissa: Come on, look at this outfit.

This is like I'm looking at Britney.

Ramona, you can head on over to the VIP.

(cheers and applause)

LL: She's making 60 look
sexy, ladies and gentlemen.

- Make some noise!
- (cheers and applause)

Oops! LSB did it again.

Giving you a ride on the Ramona coaster

with a Britney flair.

No question about it,
and Ramona did it to us.

And when we return,
Melissa gets her moment

to step out of the Housewives spotlight.

You got to see this to believe it.

This is Lip Sync Battle.

♪ Oops! I did it again ♪

♪ It takes two to make a thing go ♪

Lip Sync Battle is back and next up,

Melissa Gorga is on display,

and ready to rep her Jersey roots.

Can the Brick City take down The City?

That's so nice they named it twice?

The world is about to find out.

♪ ♪

Is this a real bar?

I might need a real drink. (laughs)

Oh my G... Is this the set?

This is so hot.

I feel like I'm at Disney World.

This is top-notch (bleep).

I'm a little nervous, yeah.

I don't think I was and now
I'm seeing all these people,

I'm like, "My God, this is
like a whole production here."

Left, right.

And then, boom. You're
the first leg that goes out

and it's a ripple.

- Woman: Yeah!
- (clapping)

Yes, Gorga!

Gotta get that first timing.

- This... when the foot goes out.
- Woman: Yes.

♪ ♪

Got the back-up dancers working it.

You know, you gotta feel
like you're in the shower

with the brush in your hand.

It's like being in the car singing,

like, 5.0.

When you're here with all
the lights and the sound.

It's so fun!

- That was awesome!
- Thank you.

♪ ♪

(shrieks)

Are you doing a country western?

Maybe. Don't ask too many
questions now, girlfriend.

I can ask. I can ask!

Listen, you little New Yorker,

Ramona,

you can bring it on, but you know what?

These boots are made for walkin'.

(laughing) I don't know!

That was so stupid!

We Battle! Boom! Boom!

(cheers and applause)

- ♪ Boys call you sexy ♪
- What's up, sexy?

♪ And you don't care what they say ♪

♪ See every time you turn around ♪

♪ They're screaming your name ♪

♪ Now I've got a confession ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ When I was young, I wanted attention ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ Promised myself that I'd do anything ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ Anything at all for
them to notice me ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ But I ain't complaining ♪

♪ We all wanna be famous ♪

♪ So go ahead and say
what you wanna say ♪

♪ You know what it's
like to be nameless ♪

♪ Want them to know
what your name is ♪

♪ 'Cause see, when I was
younger, I would say ♪

- LL: Bring it!
- ♪ When I grow up, I want to be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be a star,
I wanna be in movies ♪

♪ When I grow up, I
want to see the world ♪

♪ Drive nice cars, I
wanna have groupies ♪

♪ When I grow up, be on TV ♪

♪ People know me, be on magazines ♪

♪ When I grow up, fresh and clean ♪

♪ Number one chick when
I step out on the scene ♪

♪ But be careful what you wish for ♪

♪ 'Cause you just might get it ♪

- LL: Hey!
- ♪ You just might get it ♪

♪ You just might get it ♪

♪ Be careful what you wish for ♪

♪ 'Cause you just might get it ♪

♪ You just might get it ♪

♪ You just might get it, get it ♪

♪ When I grow up, I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be a star,
I wanna be in movies ♪

♪ When I grow up, I
wanna see the world ♪

♪ Drive nice cars, I
wanna have groupies ♪

♪ When I grow up, be on TV ♪

♪ People know me, be on magazines ♪

♪ When I grow up, fresh and clean ♪

♪ Number one chick when
I step out on the scene ♪

♪ But be careful what you wish for ♪

♪ 'Cause you just might get it ♪

♪ Get it ♪

(cheers and applause)

Chrissy: Oh my God.

Okay! More background on Melissa.

She has children.

She has this body, this butt,

these boobies, these everything.

- She looks amazing.
- (cheering)

You are Mommy goals.

You are performer goals, too.

- Melissa: Thank you!
- You're an amazing, incredible performer.

Uh, I die. That was amazing.

- (applause)
- Melissa, that performance was...

- Perfect!
- Thank you!

- (cheers and applause)
- Chrissy: Yes.

What was it like for you?

It was awesome! You
know, I love this song,

because when you're young, you
wanna, like, grow up and be famous...

Chrissy: You are famous!

- LL: You're famous.
- (cheers and applause)

And, Ramona, what did you
think of that tray choreography?

Guys on tables dancing, the whole thing.

- What did you think of that?
- I thought the whole production was phenomenal.

- Melissa: Aw, thank you!
- (cheers and applause)

LL: Melissa, you can
head on over to the VIP.

Right on over there.

Mom of three.

Look, it was futuristic.

It was sexy.

The Housewives brought the claws out,

but is the belt going
to New Jersey or NYC?

That's right! This bling is
gonna have a first-class ticket

to the East Coast no matter what.

- You know it. No doubt about it.
- I'm nervous!

It's a Lip Sync Battle.

- I'm nervous.
- (laughing)

♪ When I grow up, I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be a star,
I wanna be in movies ♪

♪ It takes two to make a thing go right ♪

(cheers and applause)

LL: Welcome back to LSB.

Tonight is full of East Coast flavor.

No question about that.

The battle is one for the record books.

But who gets the belt? Chrissy.

- Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it.
- (dramatic music plays)

Ladies and gentlemen...

is the champ...

Ramona Singer?

(cheers and applause)

Or is the Lip Sync Battle champ...

Melissa Gorga?

(wild cheers and applause)

Ladies and gentlemen,

the winner of Lip Sync
Battle tonight is...

Melissa Gorga.

(cheers and applause)

You did a good job.
Great job. Excellent job!

Ramona also did an amazing job.

Congratulations!

LL: Okay, so...

you're the new LSB champ.

- Yes!
- What's it feel like?

It feels good! It's about time!

Because I like this!

- (cheers and applause)
- This feels good!

LL: Ramona, did you
have a good time tonight?

I had... I had the
best time ever tonight.

All right, excellent,

well, on that note,
ladies and gentlemen,

a big thanks to Ramona Singer,

and Melissa Gorga

for being part of our
Lip Sync crew tonight.

And a big shout-out to Lip Sync nation

everywhere all over the world.

One love from me, LL Cool J,

and Chrissy Teigen.

And remember, whatever you do in life,

"Knock 'em out the box, L!

Knock 'em out, L!"

♪ When I grow up, I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be a star,
I wanna be in movies ♪