Life with Lucy (1986): Season 1, Episode 12 - Breaking Up is Hard to Do - full transcript
(theme music playing)
♪ Every day I'm better
than I ever was before ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more ♪
♪ Every day holds keys
to possibilities galore ♪
♪ Every day is better than before ♪
♪ How you feel depends on who you are ♪
♪ Who you are depends on what you do ♪
♪ What you do is mostly up to you ♪
♪ It's true ♪
I You can make a better you I
♪ Every day is a new world
that I'm eager to explore ♪
♪ Every day opportunity
knocks at my door ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more and more ♪
♪ And every day is better than ♪
♪ Keep on saying, "Yes, I can" ♪
♪ And every day is better than before ♪
(humming)
(tango music playing)
(music stops)
Aww.
Leonard,
we should not play the radio
in the store-- Curtis doesn't like it.
Well, he'll never know.
He's 500 miles away
at a hardware convention.
Believe me, he'll know.
Curtis is like Santa Claus.
No matter how far away he is,
he knows if you've been bad or good.
Somehow I never think of Mr. McGibbon
as Santa Claus.
Well, just look at him sideways someday.
(metal clanks)
- Oh! We got one!
- What was that?
Got one what?
Aww...
Got away. Oh... rats!
We have rats?
No, no, we have mice.
But you don't say, "Oh... mice!"
How could we possibly have mice?
Well, it might have had something to do
with those homemade
oatmeal cookies you brought in.
The customers love those.
Yeah, so do the mice.
One of them left me a note--
he wants the recipe.
Oh, we got a blinking light
on the answering machine.
Oh, someone must have called
before we opened this morning.
Let's see now. There and there.
Lucille? Lucille? This is Curtis.
Where is everyone? It's 9:01.
Why isn't the store open yet?
I'm calling from San Francisco.
I'm coming home a day early.
Pick me up at the airport at 10:15.
(beeps)
10:15. What time is it now?
-11 :30.
- Thank you.
Curtis!
- You're here.
- No thanks to you.
I had to take a taxi from the airport.
Sixteen dollars!
Sixteen dollars and twenty cents,
if you count the tip.
I'm sorry, Curtis.
You were playing your radio
in the store again, weren't you, eh?
What'd I tell you?
Oh, well.
And just what is that?
A great new item I bought for the store.
The kids love these. Look.
What else does it do?
- That's it. Here, try it.
- I don't want to try it-- it's nonsense.
Aw, come on, Curtis, it's fun.
What kind of a partner do I have?
Spending our good money
on bears that blow bubbles.
(groans)
How come you think
everything I do is wrong?
Because everything you do is wrong.
That's not true.
Heck no, she does something right
every once in a while.
Ee-- ahh-- ohh...
Think I hear some dust calling.
Coming!
Curtis,
there is a basic problem we have here.
We just do not get along.
Oh, you noticed.
Look, I want to try to be innovative.
I try new merchandising methods.
L-- I'm where it's at,
and you're where it used to be.
Oh, you put it so nicely.
Well, I'm sorry.
I just wish you would quit fighting me.
See my point of view.
I can do better than that.
What do you mean?
What do you say to dissolving
the partnership?
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
I have told you before,
I am not selling you my half of the store.
Fine, you buy my half of the store.
Buy your half?
You serious?
Do you remember my friend
Merrill Ferguson?
The we always thought would
work himself to death?
Yeah.
Well, he didn't make it to
the hardware convention this year,
and he will never be there again.
Oh, poor Merrill.
Poor Merrill indeed.
He retired,
and he's sailing 'round the world
with an all-girl crew.
Just Merrill out on the high seas
with a bunch of women?
That's right.
He may give new meaning to the term,
"Yo-ho-ho."
Well, maybe it's time for Curtis McGibbon
to stop and smell the roses.
You know, I've been
telling you that for years?
Well, even you can be right once.
What do you say, Lucille?
Do you want to buy my half
of M&B Hardware?
Okay, you got a deal.
I'll go by the bank and try
to arrange a loan.
Fine, I'll call my lawyer and have him
start drawing up the papers.
- Where-- Where's the phone book?
- Same place.
-(metal snaps)
-Ahh!
Here, I'll help.
'Ahh!
"Oh!
Get--
I'm going to miss working with you.
Thank you. Thank you.
♪ Hey, look me over... ♪
(humming)
Hi! Good morning, Margo.
Good morning.
You seem so happy, Mom.
You really like running the store,
don't you?
Yeah, I like it.
-Margo?
-Hmm?
(whispers) I love it!
(normal voice)
Just one month of being in charge,
and I've got this awful urge
to take over all the hardware stores
in Pasadena
in one big proxy grab.
Well, what a glorious day out, huh?
Curtis, what's with that outfit?
I'm dressed for bird-watching.
Well, now, with those legs,
I doubt if any birds will want to watch.
You're not going to upset me this morning.
I just saw the most amazing thing.
I spotted a swallow-tailed flycatcher.
And they're rarely seen west of Texas.
He probably flew out of his way
just to get a look at your knees.
Aren't, uh, you supposed to be
on your way to work?
Oh, right, right. I've got to open up
the doors of "B Hardware."
Uh, "B Hardware"?
Oh, didn't I tell you?
We scraped the "M" off the door.
Oh, yes, yes.
"M" isn't there anymore.
- No.
-"M" retired
and is having the "T" of his
I beg your pardon?
"Time of his life."
Oh.
Well, good for you. See ya later.
- Margo: Bye-bye, Mom.
- Bye, dear.
- Hi, Grandpa.
- Oh, well...
Kevin and Becky, hello, children.
What will we do today, huh?
I know what-- I know.
Let's go to the park and ride
the merry-go-round.
Sorry, Grandpa, I'm going to Patty's house
to play with dolls. Bye!
Uh-.
Bye" bye.
Well, Kevin, it's just us men.
Sorry, Grandpa, this man's all booked up.
(door closes)
- Uh, Margo, dear?
- Hmm?
Don't forget to iron between the buttons.
I won't.
Anything to--
- Morning, Dad.
- Oh, hi, son.
Oh, hitting the books are you? Well...
- Uh-huh.
-...would you like a little help?
Sure.
What do you know about the legal
ramifications of genetic engineering?
There are some things that a boy
just has to learn for himself.
Uh, if anyone wants me,
I'll be in my workshop.
- Margo: Okay.
- All right.
I hope he isn't gonna build
another birdhouse.
Oh, Margo, you can never
have enough birdhouses.
Wanna bet?
I guess Dad's just having a hard time
finding things to do.
Oh, face it, he misses the store.
Hanging around the hardware store
would be admitting
that his retirement was a mistake.
You know, he would go if we needed
something fixed
and he had to get the parts.
Yeah, but he fixed everything
the first two days he retired.
There's nothing broken.
There is now.
What have we got?
Ooh, I don't know about that, sir.
Leonard, are these on sale?
Everything in the store is on sale!
This guy! Everything is on sale.
Excuse me, sir.
Leonard on megaphone:
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the greatest sale on earth.
The circus of bargains.
Under the Barker Big Top
you'll find excitement,
fun, chills, and thrills.
So, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry...
Do you still sell hardware?
Sure we do, Chief.
I mean, ex-Chief.
What are you doing here anyway?
I need new rabbit-ears for the TV.
-(drum banging)
-(Playing kazoo)
(blows whistle)
(toots train whistle)
Good heavens, woman!
Gimmicks, balloons,
one-man band.
What happened to the store's reputation?
What happened to dignity?
What happened to good taste?
-(blows whistle)
- Oh, stop that.
I'm appalled!
Well, I'm sorry you're appalled,
but thanks to these gimmicks,
we're going to have the biggest month
in the history of the store.
The biggest month
in the history of the store?
(through kazoo) That's right!
- Well, congratulations.
- Thank you.
Here you go, Mr. McGibbon,
there's your rabbit-ears.
Uh, thank you.
Well, continued success with the store,
or whatever it is now.
- Uh, Mr. McGibbon?
- Yeah?
That'll be $3.99.
Leonard!
Show some respect.
Curtis owned this store for 36 years.
Thank you.
You can have it at cost.
(chuckles)
Wait, I'll walk you to the corner.
In broad daylight?
Oh, please!
Have mercy!
(shouting)
Whew. The last customer just left.
I have never seen so many people.
You know, your husband would have been
proud of you today.
Yeah.
I wish Sam could have been here.
I was just figuring out how much money
we made this month.
Ooh-hoo-hoo.
Thanks for putting me on commission.
You're sure a lot more generous
than Mr. McGibbon.
Well, who isn't?
I'm finally gonna be able to buy a car.
- Good.
-(laughing)
Ah, let's see here, now.
Oh. I don't believe it.
How-How-How could this happen?
Uh...
Uh, shouldn't the income
be more than the out-go?
Yeah.
Well, don't tear up your bus pass.
What do you mean? That can't be right.
We should have big profits.
We sold a lot of merchandise this month.
Yeah, well, we also spent a lot.
Oh! Look at these bills.
Balloons, advertising,
extra help...
Loan payments to the bank.
And I went way over on the one-man band.
Does that mean I-- I should cancel
the blimp for tomorrow?
Yes!
Oh, Leonard.
Another month like this
and we'll be bankrupt.
Oh, hi, Curtis. Dinner's almost ready.
Oh, I'm sorry, Margo, dear.
I don't feel like dinner tonight.
I'm going to my workshop
and make another birdhouse.
- No!
- No. No, Dad.
Uh, let the sparrows
build their own houses.
I think that you and I
ought to have a little talk.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You see, I've been worried a little bit
about you lately.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah, you haven't seemed very happy.
Oh, I'm happy-- I'm retired!
When you're retired, you're happy.
I can go where I want to go,
do what I want to do.
Nothing but free time. It's--
I loathe it.
I think you acted just a little bit
too impulsively, Dad.
Me? Impulsive?
Both: Nah!
No, there's just one explanation--
I blew it.
Well, maybe you could, uh,
ask Mom if you could buy back
into the store.
And watch her gloat?
Oh, no, no. She doesn't need me,
and I do not want any favors.
You know,
she does better at that store
than I ever did.
Oh, Dad, maybe it's just beginner's luck.
Now, you may find this hard to believe,
but Lucy has a brilliant business mind.
Are we talking about the same Lucy?
No, that was her most brilliant move--
playing dumb all these years.
(door closes)
Lucy: Anybody home?
In here, Mom.
Uh, excuse me.
Every minute I waste in here,
another sparrow hits the streets.
Uh, not a word to Lucy, not a word.
Well, at least Mom
will be in a good mood.
Hi, there.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
- How's everything going at the store?
- Couldn't be better.
Well, they could be a little better.
Actually, a lot better.
The truth is, things are rotten.
Oh?
- What's wrong?
- Yeah, what's the problem?
Well...
if I tell you something,
do you promise not to breathe
a word of it to Curtis?
The store is in trouble, big trouble.
With all my promotions and gimmicks,
I spent twice as much as I made.
- Oh, no.
- Ooh.
Now what are you gonna do?
Well...
for starters...
I put an ad in the paper
for someone to invest in the store,
a new partner.
Oh, you didn't have to do that--
Uh, no, uh... maybe you can
coax Dad out of retirement.
Oh, no, no.
I don't want to hear, "I told you so,"
every day for the rest of my life.
"Hello, Curtis."
"Hello, Lucille, I told you so."
- Oh, no.
- He wouldn't do that.
- No.
- Yes, he would.
You know, I wouldn't blame him.
I think I'll go up and lie down.
Uh...
going bankrupt can certainly
ruin your whole day.
- Leonard?
- Yes, Mrs. B?
- Send in the next applicant, please.
- Okay, Mrs. B.
(mimics game show host)
The next person who answered your ad
hails from Tarzana.
His hobbies include waterskiing,
tree surgery, and prank phone calls.
Let's give him a big hardware welcome.
Mr. Lawrence Malgrew!
Hiya!
- How do you do, Mister, uh--
- Malgrew.
Malgrew.
So.
Um, Mr. Malgrew...
just so you know, I, uh,
I'm not looking just for an investor,
I need someone who will also
put their time
and energy into running the store.
I'm way ahead of you, babe.
You just make the coffee--
leave the business to me.
Next!
That's it? The interview's over?
You got it, babe.
Look, uh,
I feel some energy here.
I think you and me could really
make some magic together.
You wanna make magic?
You know it, babe.
Then disappear.
Broads!
Sam...
I really messed things up.
I know, I can't believe it either.
You worked so hard building up this store,
and I'm about to lose it.
Sam...
if you're listening...
please help me.
(knocking on door)
(sniffs) Come in.
Uh, pardon me?
L, uh,
I read your ad in the newspaper.
I... I understand you're looking
for a partner?
Yes, sir, I am. Please come in.
Oh, thank you very much.
My name is Curtis McGibbon.
How do you do?
- I'm Lucy Barker.
- Lucy Barker.
Will you sit down, please?
Oh, thank you very much.
So, you're, uh...
interested in investing in the store?
I am, yes.
Oh! Uh...
here's my resume
and my financial statements.
I think you'll find everything's in order.
Well, thank you.
L, uh...
I see you have experience in hardware.
A little.
Are you over 21?
I was born over 21.
Curtis, what happened to stopping
and smelling the roses?
Oh, well, I've smelled enough roses.
Yes. Now I'd like to stop
and smell turpentine,
and paint,
and mothballs again.
Well, maybe not mothballs.
Well, I, uh...
I really don't know.
I could give you a very good deal
on 22 birdhouses.
(chuckles)
You know, we were partners before,
and we fought all the time.
Well, that was partially my fault.
I'm afraid I was a little rigid.
You were a lot rigid.
Oh, well, I've changed.
I've changed a great deal.
Uh, let-- let me show you
something here.
Just a minute. Uh...
No one can say I'm not Mr. Fun.
Curtis, I'm so glad you're here.
This place really needs you.
Not as much as I need it.
Will you, uh,
try not to yell at me?
Oh, believe me, retirement has taught me
that life is too short
to let little things get to one.
Even things you do.
Welcome back, Curtis.
Oh! Oh. Oh, my.
Can you start tomorrow?
Can I start today?
Oh!
I was so hoping you'd say that.
Oh, good!
Let me get my order pad.
Okay.
-(metalsnaps)
-Oh!
Oh, Curtis!
Now, remember what you learned
from your retirement.
Remember.
(screams)
Sam, thank you.
Thank you.
(music playing)
(theme music playing)
♪ Every day I'm better
than I ever was before ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more ♪
♪ Every day holds keys
to possibilities galore ♪
♪ Every day is better than before ♪
♪ How you feel depends on who you are ♪
♪ Who you are depends on what you do ♪
♪ What you do is mostly up to you ♪
♪ It's true ♪
I You can make a better you I
♪ Every day is a new world
that I'm eager to explore ♪
♪ Every day opportunity
knocks at my door ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more and more ♪
♪ And every day is better than ♪
♪ Keep on saying, "Yes, I can" ♪
♪ And every day is better than before ♪
(humming)
(tango music playing)
(music stops)
Aww.
Leonard,
we should not play the radio
in the store-- Curtis doesn't like it.
Well, he'll never know.
He's 500 miles away
at a hardware convention.
Believe me, he'll know.
Curtis is like Santa Claus.
No matter how far away he is,
he knows if you've been bad or good.
Somehow I never think of Mr. McGibbon
as Santa Claus.
Well, just look at him sideways someday.
(metal clanks)
- Oh! We got one!
- What was that?
Got one what?
Aww...
Got away. Oh... rats!
We have rats?
No, no, we have mice.
But you don't say, "Oh... mice!"
How could we possibly have mice?
Well, it might have had something to do
with those homemade
oatmeal cookies you brought in.
The customers love those.
Yeah, so do the mice.
One of them left me a note--
he wants the recipe.
Oh, we got a blinking light
on the answering machine.
Oh, someone must have called
before we opened this morning.
Let's see now. There and there.
Lucille? Lucille? This is Curtis.
Where is everyone? It's 9:01.
Why isn't the store open yet?
I'm calling from San Francisco.
I'm coming home a day early.
Pick me up at the airport at 10:15.
(beeps)
10:15. What time is it now?
-11 :30.
- Thank you.
Curtis!
- You're here.
- No thanks to you.
I had to take a taxi from the airport.
Sixteen dollars!
Sixteen dollars and twenty cents,
if you count the tip.
I'm sorry, Curtis.
You were playing your radio
in the store again, weren't you, eh?
What'd I tell you?
Oh, well.
And just what is that?
A great new item I bought for the store.
The kids love these. Look.
What else does it do?
- That's it. Here, try it.
- I don't want to try it-- it's nonsense.
Aw, come on, Curtis, it's fun.
What kind of a partner do I have?
Spending our good money
on bears that blow bubbles.
(groans)
How come you think
everything I do is wrong?
Because everything you do is wrong.
That's not true.
Heck no, she does something right
every once in a while.
Ee-- ahh-- ohh...
Think I hear some dust calling.
Coming!
Curtis,
there is a basic problem we have here.
We just do not get along.
Oh, you noticed.
Look, I want to try to be innovative.
I try new merchandising methods.
L-- I'm where it's at,
and you're where it used to be.
Oh, you put it so nicely.
Well, I'm sorry.
I just wish you would quit fighting me.
See my point of view.
I can do better than that.
What do you mean?
What do you say to dissolving
the partnership?
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
I have told you before,
I am not selling you my half of the store.
Fine, you buy my half of the store.
Buy your half?
You serious?
Do you remember my friend
Merrill Ferguson?
The we always thought would
work himself to death?
Yeah.
Well, he didn't make it to
the hardware convention this year,
and he will never be there again.
Oh, poor Merrill.
Poor Merrill indeed.
He retired,
and he's sailing 'round the world
with an all-girl crew.
Just Merrill out on the high seas
with a bunch of women?
That's right.
He may give new meaning to the term,
"Yo-ho-ho."
Well, maybe it's time for Curtis McGibbon
to stop and smell the roses.
You know, I've been
telling you that for years?
Well, even you can be right once.
What do you say, Lucille?
Do you want to buy my half
of M&B Hardware?
Okay, you got a deal.
I'll go by the bank and try
to arrange a loan.
Fine, I'll call my lawyer and have him
start drawing up the papers.
- Where-- Where's the phone book?
- Same place.
-(metal snaps)
-Ahh!
Here, I'll help.
'Ahh!
"Oh!
Get--
I'm going to miss working with you.
Thank you. Thank you.
♪ Hey, look me over... ♪
(humming)
Hi! Good morning, Margo.
Good morning.
You seem so happy, Mom.
You really like running the store,
don't you?
Yeah, I like it.
-Margo?
-Hmm?
(whispers) I love it!
(normal voice)
Just one month of being in charge,
and I've got this awful urge
to take over all the hardware stores
in Pasadena
in one big proxy grab.
Well, what a glorious day out, huh?
Curtis, what's with that outfit?
I'm dressed for bird-watching.
Well, now, with those legs,
I doubt if any birds will want to watch.
You're not going to upset me this morning.
I just saw the most amazing thing.
I spotted a swallow-tailed flycatcher.
And they're rarely seen west of Texas.
He probably flew out of his way
just to get a look at your knees.
Aren't, uh, you supposed to be
on your way to work?
Oh, right, right. I've got to open up
the doors of "B Hardware."
Uh, "B Hardware"?
Oh, didn't I tell you?
We scraped the "M" off the door.
Oh, yes, yes.
"M" isn't there anymore.
- No.
-"M" retired
and is having the "T" of his
I beg your pardon?
"Time of his life."
Oh.
Well, good for you. See ya later.
- Margo: Bye-bye, Mom.
- Bye, dear.
- Hi, Grandpa.
- Oh, well...
Kevin and Becky, hello, children.
What will we do today, huh?
I know what-- I know.
Let's go to the park and ride
the merry-go-round.
Sorry, Grandpa, I'm going to Patty's house
to play with dolls. Bye!
Uh-.
Bye" bye.
Well, Kevin, it's just us men.
Sorry, Grandpa, this man's all booked up.
(door closes)
- Uh, Margo, dear?
- Hmm?
Don't forget to iron between the buttons.
I won't.
Anything to--
- Morning, Dad.
- Oh, hi, son.
Oh, hitting the books are you? Well...
- Uh-huh.
-...would you like a little help?
Sure.
What do you know about the legal
ramifications of genetic engineering?
There are some things that a boy
just has to learn for himself.
Uh, if anyone wants me,
I'll be in my workshop.
- Margo: Okay.
- All right.
I hope he isn't gonna build
another birdhouse.
Oh, Margo, you can never
have enough birdhouses.
Wanna bet?
I guess Dad's just having a hard time
finding things to do.
Oh, face it, he misses the store.
Hanging around the hardware store
would be admitting
that his retirement was a mistake.
You know, he would go if we needed
something fixed
and he had to get the parts.
Yeah, but he fixed everything
the first two days he retired.
There's nothing broken.
There is now.
What have we got?
Ooh, I don't know about that, sir.
Leonard, are these on sale?
Everything in the store is on sale!
This guy! Everything is on sale.
Excuse me, sir.
Leonard on megaphone:
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the greatest sale on earth.
The circus of bargains.
Under the Barker Big Top
you'll find excitement,
fun, chills, and thrills.
So, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry...
Do you still sell hardware?
Sure we do, Chief.
I mean, ex-Chief.
What are you doing here anyway?
I need new rabbit-ears for the TV.
-(drum banging)
-(Playing kazoo)
(blows whistle)
(toots train whistle)
Good heavens, woman!
Gimmicks, balloons,
one-man band.
What happened to the store's reputation?
What happened to dignity?
What happened to good taste?
-(blows whistle)
- Oh, stop that.
I'm appalled!
Well, I'm sorry you're appalled,
but thanks to these gimmicks,
we're going to have the biggest month
in the history of the store.
The biggest month
in the history of the store?
(through kazoo) That's right!
- Well, congratulations.
- Thank you.
Here you go, Mr. McGibbon,
there's your rabbit-ears.
Uh, thank you.
Well, continued success with the store,
or whatever it is now.
- Uh, Mr. McGibbon?
- Yeah?
That'll be $3.99.
Leonard!
Show some respect.
Curtis owned this store for 36 years.
Thank you.
You can have it at cost.
(chuckles)
Wait, I'll walk you to the corner.
In broad daylight?
Oh, please!
Have mercy!
(shouting)
Whew. The last customer just left.
I have never seen so many people.
You know, your husband would have been
proud of you today.
Yeah.
I wish Sam could have been here.
I was just figuring out how much money
we made this month.
Ooh-hoo-hoo.
Thanks for putting me on commission.
You're sure a lot more generous
than Mr. McGibbon.
Well, who isn't?
I'm finally gonna be able to buy a car.
- Good.
-(laughing)
Ah, let's see here, now.
Oh. I don't believe it.
How-How-How could this happen?
Uh...
Uh, shouldn't the income
be more than the out-go?
Yeah.
Well, don't tear up your bus pass.
What do you mean? That can't be right.
We should have big profits.
We sold a lot of merchandise this month.
Yeah, well, we also spent a lot.
Oh! Look at these bills.
Balloons, advertising,
extra help...
Loan payments to the bank.
And I went way over on the one-man band.
Does that mean I-- I should cancel
the blimp for tomorrow?
Yes!
Oh, Leonard.
Another month like this
and we'll be bankrupt.
Oh, hi, Curtis. Dinner's almost ready.
Oh, I'm sorry, Margo, dear.
I don't feel like dinner tonight.
I'm going to my workshop
and make another birdhouse.
- No!
- No. No, Dad.
Uh, let the sparrows
build their own houses.
I think that you and I
ought to have a little talk.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You see, I've been worried a little bit
about you lately.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah, you haven't seemed very happy.
Oh, I'm happy-- I'm retired!
When you're retired, you're happy.
I can go where I want to go,
do what I want to do.
Nothing but free time. It's--
I loathe it.
I think you acted just a little bit
too impulsively, Dad.
Me? Impulsive?
Both: Nah!
No, there's just one explanation--
I blew it.
Well, maybe you could, uh,
ask Mom if you could buy back
into the store.
And watch her gloat?
Oh, no, no. She doesn't need me,
and I do not want any favors.
You know,
she does better at that store
than I ever did.
Oh, Dad, maybe it's just beginner's luck.
Now, you may find this hard to believe,
but Lucy has a brilliant business mind.
Are we talking about the same Lucy?
No, that was her most brilliant move--
playing dumb all these years.
(door closes)
Lucy: Anybody home?
In here, Mom.
Uh, excuse me.
Every minute I waste in here,
another sparrow hits the streets.
Uh, not a word to Lucy, not a word.
Well, at least Mom
will be in a good mood.
Hi, there.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
- How's everything going at the store?
- Couldn't be better.
Well, they could be a little better.
Actually, a lot better.
The truth is, things are rotten.
Oh?
- What's wrong?
- Yeah, what's the problem?
Well...
if I tell you something,
do you promise not to breathe
a word of it to Curtis?
The store is in trouble, big trouble.
With all my promotions and gimmicks,
I spent twice as much as I made.
- Oh, no.
- Ooh.
Now what are you gonna do?
Well...
for starters...
I put an ad in the paper
for someone to invest in the store,
a new partner.
Oh, you didn't have to do that--
Uh, no, uh... maybe you can
coax Dad out of retirement.
Oh, no, no.
I don't want to hear, "I told you so,"
every day for the rest of my life.
"Hello, Curtis."
"Hello, Lucille, I told you so."
- Oh, no.
- He wouldn't do that.
- No.
- Yes, he would.
You know, I wouldn't blame him.
I think I'll go up and lie down.
Uh...
going bankrupt can certainly
ruin your whole day.
- Leonard?
- Yes, Mrs. B?
- Send in the next applicant, please.
- Okay, Mrs. B.
(mimics game show host)
The next person who answered your ad
hails from Tarzana.
His hobbies include waterskiing,
tree surgery, and prank phone calls.
Let's give him a big hardware welcome.
Mr. Lawrence Malgrew!
Hiya!
- How do you do, Mister, uh--
- Malgrew.
Malgrew.
So.
Um, Mr. Malgrew...
just so you know, I, uh,
I'm not looking just for an investor,
I need someone who will also
put their time
and energy into running the store.
I'm way ahead of you, babe.
You just make the coffee--
leave the business to me.
Next!
That's it? The interview's over?
You got it, babe.
Look, uh,
I feel some energy here.
I think you and me could really
make some magic together.
You wanna make magic?
You know it, babe.
Then disappear.
Broads!
Sam...
I really messed things up.
I know, I can't believe it either.
You worked so hard building up this store,
and I'm about to lose it.
Sam...
if you're listening...
please help me.
(knocking on door)
(sniffs) Come in.
Uh, pardon me?
L, uh,
I read your ad in the newspaper.
I... I understand you're looking
for a partner?
Yes, sir, I am. Please come in.
Oh, thank you very much.
My name is Curtis McGibbon.
How do you do?
- I'm Lucy Barker.
- Lucy Barker.
Will you sit down, please?
Oh, thank you very much.
So, you're, uh...
interested in investing in the store?
I am, yes.
Oh! Uh...
here's my resume
and my financial statements.
I think you'll find everything's in order.
Well, thank you.
L, uh...
I see you have experience in hardware.
A little.
Are you over 21?
I was born over 21.
Curtis, what happened to stopping
and smelling the roses?
Oh, well, I've smelled enough roses.
Yes. Now I'd like to stop
and smell turpentine,
and paint,
and mothballs again.
Well, maybe not mothballs.
Well, I, uh...
I really don't know.
I could give you a very good deal
on 22 birdhouses.
(chuckles)
You know, we were partners before,
and we fought all the time.
Well, that was partially my fault.
I'm afraid I was a little rigid.
You were a lot rigid.
Oh, well, I've changed.
I've changed a great deal.
Uh, let-- let me show you
something here.
Just a minute. Uh...
No one can say I'm not Mr. Fun.
Curtis, I'm so glad you're here.
This place really needs you.
Not as much as I need it.
Will you, uh,
try not to yell at me?
Oh, believe me, retirement has taught me
that life is too short
to let little things get to one.
Even things you do.
Welcome back, Curtis.
Oh! Oh. Oh, my.
Can you start tomorrow?
Can I start today?
Oh!
I was so hoping you'd say that.
Oh, good!
Let me get my order pad.
Okay.
-(metalsnaps)
-Oh!
Oh, Curtis!
Now, remember what you learned
from your retirement.
Remember.
(screams)
Sam, thank you.
Thank you.
(music playing)
(theme music playing)