Life on Mars (2006–2007): Season 2, Episode 2 - Episode #2.2 - full transcript
Sam receives messages from 2006 saying that his mentor, Glen Fletcher (Ray Emmet Brown) has died. He's shocked to meet a younger version of Fletcher in 1973, especially when he finds that his mentor has not yet grown into the man who he looked up to. Meanwhile, a prisoner's escape triggers Sam's suspicions about crooked dealings within the CID.
(MUSIC: MOTT THE HOOPLE'S
"SWEET JANE")
(CHRIS) I'd hate to end up in prison.
(SAM) It's not very likely,
is it, Chris?
What if I was
accused of murdering me wife,
Iike David Janssen in "The Fugitive"?
You mean Harrison Ford.
No, I don't.
He got off in the last episode.
Five years, that took. I can't do
five years, Ray. I'm not that strong.
Chris, you don't even have a wife.
And I'm not likely to,
if it means ending up in chokey.
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Detective lnspector Tyler.
Collecting Richard Hands.
Production order?
- (BUZZER, THEN DOOR CLANGS)
- (MAN) All right, all right.
Oh, bloody Nora.
Sticky Dickie Fingers.
- (THEY BLEAT)
- What are you doing?
Dickie's famous
for getting caught in Alicante.
Flagrante, Chris. In flagrante.
Right. Flagrante. With a sheep.
It were dark. We all make mistakes.
- (THEY BLEAT)
- Yeah, all right, that's enough.
What the hell's this about, anyway?
We have new information
about two robberies
committed just before
you were banged up.
My guv wants to talk to you.
Come on.
- No need to be sheepish.
- (RAY CHUCKLES)
(THEY BLEAT)
(MUSlC: MUNGO JERRY'S
"lN THE SUMMERTlME")
- (RAY) Look, Dickie. There's a lamb.
- What do you think I am? A nonce?
- Baaa...
- Baa...
- (VAN DRlVER HONKS HORN)
- What's up with him?
- (HONKS HORN)
- Bloody hell, they're armed.
What do we do? What do we do?
- Pull over now!
- Evasive action. Evasive action.
- Just keep driving, Chris.
- Stop the car!
- Just try and stay calm, Chris.
- Pull over or I'll shoot!
- Pull over!
- Oh...what do I do? What do I do?!
Stay calm.
- Remember the system of car control.
- What are you talking about?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- (SHEEP BLEATS)
- (RAY) Not that evasive, you div!
- Everybody all right?
- Yeah, no thanks to Chris's driving.
- Get out the car!
- Come on, move!
- Move!
- Get over there.
- Hands on top!
- You've got the wrong man!
Oh, I'm not having this.
Move, sunshine,
and the next one's yours.
(DlCKlE SHOUTS)
Leave me alone, will you?
Didn't go too well, that.
- (DlCKlE) You've got the wrong man!
- (VAN ENGlNE REVS, DOORS SLAM)
(SHEEP BLEAT)
My name is Sam Tyler.
I had an accident
and I woke up in 1973.
Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time?
Whatever's happened, it's like
I've landed on a different planet.
Now, maybe if I can work out
the reason, I can get home.
I've seen cesspits with more brains.
This was supposed to be a simple job.
It was a stitch-up.
Somebody knew what we were doing.
Thank you, Dorothy,
I think we've worked that out.
I just thought three of my finest
might have put up a better fight.
If you'd taken Cartwright, she could
have flashed her tits to stop 'em.
How's your first day, petal?
All the better for the topless
calendars left on my desk, sir (!)
- Well?
- They were all tooled up.
- What were we supposed to do?
- Not lose a prisoner of Her Majesty!
Now, now, Gene. Back off a little.
Lads have had a hard day.
At least we've had one break today.
Superintendent Woolf's offered
to help with our investigation.
Honoured to have you on board, sir.
What makes this case so special?
I know who's behind it.
Arnold Malone. He'd be my nemesis
if he knew how to spell it.
Responsible for most of the robberies
in Manchester these past 20 years.
He has evaded my grasp and made
a lot of money in the process.
- Arnold Malone's time is up.
- Not that this is a vendetta.
Oh, that's exactly what it is.
With good reason.
Try this for your bedtime reading.
Might give you nightmares, mind.
Violence against civilians unlucky
enough to get caught up in his blags.
Why haven't you collared him?
- Sorry, I didn't...I didn't mean...
- No, no, fair question.
I haven't been good enough, love.
I need your help, gents...Iady.
This is my last case.
I see Arnold Malone brought to book,
I can retire a happy man.
It won't be easy, mind. Malone
is a nasty, devious piece of work.
So you think Malone's behind
Dickie Fingers being sprung?
I'll stake
Gene's season ticket on it.
This has got Malone's fingerprints
all over it.
Dickie Fingers
is the key to nailing Malone.
Malone's not dumb enough
to be hiding Dickie Fingers himself,
so I want the names
of all Malone's associates.
One of them must know
where Fingers is being hidden.
Find out the word on the street.
Get out with the snouts.
- (MUSlC: "AlN'T GOT NO")
- Who's hiding Dickie Fingers, Denis?
- Don't know.
- Sure?
OK. Come on.
# Ain't got no pot,
ain't got no faith...
Excuse me, love.
Yes, boys?
- Have you seen this fella?
- No, sorry.
# Ain't got no shine
Ain't got no underwear
- # Ain't got no soap...
- Come on.
- # Ain't got no mind
- # Lost it...
- Ali, you must have seen him.
- No, I haven't seen him.
OK.
You didn't try hard enough.
A villain farts, our snouts should be
able to name the arse responsible.
We spoke to everyone. Nobody knows
what happened to Dickie Fingers.
Do I have to do everything myself?
Come on!
(WOMAN) "Evening News"!
Right, Dilys. I want all the news
that's unfit to print.
Especially about Dickie Fingers.
Ain't talking in front of your pansy.
- I think she means you.
- Yeah.
Here y'are. Go read "Fred Basset".
Oi. Deaf aid. Hop it.
(TRAlN CLATTERS BY)
(HOSPlTAL MONlTOR BLEEPS)
(MAN) Congratulations,
Detective Chief lnspector Tyler.
(SAM) I can't believe it. Me, a DCl?
- I never doubted it.
- Thank you, sir. For everything.
No need to thank me. You earned it.
Be a good role model, Sam.
(MAN # 2) I'm sorry for your loss.
Who are you?
What do you want?
The 2.20 at Aintree. Who won?
Oh.
Oi, Bill and Ben!
Sod off, we're working here.
What's up with you? You're as white
as a pint of gold top.
The bloke who looked after me
when I joined the force. He's dead.
Oh.
- Close, were you?
- You could say he was my mentor.
I went to him for advice
on everything.
Even when they promoted him upstairs.
I learned the job from him, really.
I think I knew him.
Was Dl Frankenstein, wasn't it?
Certainly lumbered me with a monster.
Don't you have any respect?
No. But I do have a name
behind Dickie Fingers' kidnapping.
Word on the street is we should be
looking for a Mr Harcourt.
Age? Address?
Dunno. That's why
you'll go through these records
until you find any mention
of the name from the past 30 years.
What if your snout's got it wrong?
This could be
a massive waste of resources.
Dilys is never wrong.
Anyway, we've got an extra pair
of hands seconded from C Division.
- DC Glen Fletcher.
- (DOOR OPENS)
Dl Sam Tyler. Welcome.
Don't worry. It doesn't rub off.
(CHUCKLES)
DC Chris Skelton.
WDC Cartright. Annie.
I'm sort of new around here too.
First women, now a coloured.
What's going to be next? Dwarves?
You here to do the spadework, then?
It can get a bit cold round here.
It's not like being back home.
What? Burnage? (LAUGHS)
You'll have to excuse DS Carling.
He's our resident Neanderthal.
No, good point, though.
When that heatwave hit last month,
I thought Enoch Powell
had had me deported.
Don't worry. If there's a power cut,
I'll roll me eyes and you can
follow me out to the exit.
(MEN LAUGH)
What a nice lad.
- (SCATTERED LAUGHTER)
- All right, that's enough!
(CHUCKLES)
You don't have to play Uncle Tom
to fit in around here, OK?
- You're better than that.
- Hold up.
Dl Tyler?
You were at Hyde.
Yeah.
You know, I was at Hyde for a bit.
Weren't there a bit of bother?
I'm sure I remember your name.
Here we go. Come on.
Tell us what a bastard he really is.
I... You must be, um...mixing me up
with somebody else.
No. I don't think I am.
Robbery in progress.
Wages van in Sparks Lane.
Tyler!
(MUSlC: URlAH HEEP'S "LOVE MACHlNE")
(TYRES SQUEAL)
(MUFFLED) Help! Help!
Help!
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS) There were three of them.
Shooters!
They had stockings over their heads.
Bloody perverts.
Nine year I've been driving this van.
I've never seen the like.
Must have known the route,
the day, the time.
Everything down to what
miladdo had for breakfast.
Probably been shadowing him
for weeks.
Have you got a co-driver?
Or a security helmet?
What would I want that for? That
safe's supposed to be unopenable.
Advert said it'd take
a ton of explosives
or Albert Einstein to get in there.
And all it took was a scrawny thief.
Dickie Fingers was obviously sprung
to be a part of this robbery.
The likelihood is that Fingers and
Malone were in cahoots from the off.
Dickie Fingers was more scared
than all of us put together.
He had no idea what was going on.
I don't know
if you've noticed, Marjorie,
but the criminal fraternity
sometimes indulge
in practices called pretending
and lying.
Please excuse Dl Tyler. He has this
terrible condition called naivety.
No, no. Maybe he's right. You were
on the scene. You know what you saw.
Well, our first priority is to make
sure the thieves don't strike again.
It'll be tricky,
'cause these sorts of gangs
rarely have
just one target on the go.
They've usually researched
half a dozen possibilities,
waiting for the most opportune
circumstances on any of them.
- He knows his onions, this lad, eh?
- Oh, he's a right little smart-arse.
So, what do you suggest, Buddha?
We profile the previous robberies,
see if any patterns emerge.
Compile a list of places
with large amounts of cash
or valuables on the premises.
We correlate the value of the goods
with the level of security
and you end up with a league table
of the most vulnerable organisations.
Don't you agree?
Glen.
League tables?
Yeah.
I haven't got a bloody clue
what you're on about, sir.
Well, it's a list with
the likeliest targets at the top.
Why couldn't you say that
in the first place?
Because he wouldn't have
sounded like a twonk.
Sorry, Ray. I forget you have trouble
with words of more than no syllables.
DC Skelton. You and DC Fletcher
get onto these...
Ieague tables of possible targets.
See who's most likely
to win the title.
Sam. You and I are going to send
a little signal to Arnold Malone.
- What sort of signal?
- I thought I'd arrest him.
We've no concrete evidence to
implicate Malone in these robberies.
I understand
you want to help out an old mate.
I've seen good men die on this job.
Keel over
trying to settle old scores.
In ten years,
I don't want to see Harry Woolf
wandering around like Nipper after
Ronnie Biggs. He's too good for that.
If Woolf hasn't managed to catch
Malone after all this time,
what makes you think you can?
What you would undoubtedly call
my differing methodological approach.
Wave this about a bit
when we get inside
and try and look hard for once.
Have you ever
heard of softly, softly?
Yes. But I prefer "Z Cars".
Don't move.
You're surrounded by armed bastards.
I said, don't move!
Are you deaf?
- This is not how things are done.
- Times change.
(SAM) We know you were responsible
for the Sparks Lane raid, Malone.
Not to mention springing Dickie
Fingers from our transport car.
Copper's wet dream.
You're barking up the wrong tree.
Your trademarks
are all over that robbery.
I hope you're not insinuating
I'm crooked.
What are you doing
with the notes, Malone?
Vending them through the bookies?
Buying industrial equipment for cash?
Mr Woolf.
Oh, you're looking so tired.
You not been sleeping well?
When did you last have a holiday?
Me and the family had
a month in Barbados over Christmas.
Course, er...
it's not easy on your salary, is it?
I could always stand you a few grand
if you're a bit strapped for cash.
- I'm all right.
- Take five minutes.
- I don't need...
- Don't give him the satisfaction.
Thanks.
Poor bloke. He's not what he was.
I'll count to one, then I'll pull
your teeth out with pliers.
- Where's Dickie Fingers?
- I haven't got the moaning old git.
Why should we believe you?
Because I can tell you the next place
that's being done over.
Arnold Malone gets all cooperative.
Why does that make my skin crawl?
Raxton Street. Main post office.
They're going for cash, stamps
and postal orders.
- Nice haul if you get away with it.
- Don't believe you.
It was obvious to a blind deaf mute
what Sparks Lane were all about.
Low-level blag to see whether Dickie
was still match-fit.
No. Raxton Street's the big one.
Why are you telling us this?
Always a pleasure
to assist the police.
- When's it going off?
- Um...
Just under an hour.
Chris, round up everyone you can get.
Ray, wake up and get a van.
Cartwright, stick lipstick on.
There's a blag on at Raxton Street
post office in an hour.
I want the lot of you in there
under cover.
We're gonna catch these bastards
with their fingers in the till.
Come on, what are you waiting for?
If Malone's behind these robberies,
then why is he tipping us off?
He said there's a turf war.
That means Malone isn't behind
Dickie Fingers' disappearance.
- It could be a set-up.
- You always do this to me.
I run in certain
and walk out confused.
We're risking officers without being
in full possession of the facts!
My officers are trained
for exactly this type of situation.
- Did you say bank or post office?
- Oh, Chris, Chris. Post office!
Right, we have 57 minutes
to respond to a 24-carat tip-off
which I'm 100% confident about.
And which I say
is too much of a risk.
You know, if I was as worried as you,
I'd never fart
for fear of shitting myself.
Now, we have one chance
to recapture Dickie Fingers.
The Dickie Fingers that you let go of
in the first place.
You be at Raxton Street
in ten minutes for my briefing
or you never set foot
in this building again.
Comprehendez, muchacho?
- Yes, guv.
- Good!
What's happened to Harry?
Sir.
- Harry.
- It's not what you think.
- I saw your hands shaking before.
- You have no idea.
I do.
I've seen it a dozen times.
Look, half of ClD will be alcoholics
by the time Maggie Thatcher
becomes Prime Minister.
If Margaret Thatcher
ever becomes Prime Minister,
I'll have been doing something
a lot stronger than whisky.
I'm taking these tablets.
They're strong enough to knock out
a horse. This helps wash 'em down.
Whatever. Really?
For the cancer.
Nine months. Year at the outside.
- Does Gene...?
- No. And you're not to tell him.
- Sir.
- I don't want his pity.
So I'll appreciate your discretion,
Detective lnspector.
Or rather, silence.
Now, what's happening with Malone?
He's given us a tip-off.
The post office in Raxton Street
is about to be hit.
- The guv's put some lads in there.
- What, now? (GASPS lN PAlN)
Here you go, love.
Now don't spend it all at once.
Oh, I know, love.
I miss shillings too.
There we go. Remember, happy
birthdays begin with the postman.
Thank you.
There's still ordinary
customers out there.
Because those amateurs are taking
so long to process the queue.
Sir.
Whatever it is,
I haven't got time for it.
Blag's due at four on the dot.
I haven't received
any firearms training.
That's not right.
You see, this is why
birds and ClD don't mix.
You give a bloke a gun,
it's a dream come true.
You give a girl one, she moans
it doesn't go with her dress.
Now start behaving like a detective
and show some balls.
Thanks for being so sympathetic, sir.
Let's hope you don't end up
in my firing line.
- She just threaten to shoot me?
- Bright future ahead of her, that lass.
OK. That's the last customer out.
The only people left in there now
are ours.
Oi! Remember. Let it go on
till we've got the evidence we need.
I want 'em red-handed, holding
enough rope to hang themselves with.
(RAPlD TlCKlNG)
(GENE) Come on, boys.
Show your faces.
(SLOW TlCKlNG)
Every bastard down now!
This is a robbery!
Get down now on your knees!
- Get down.
- Do it.
- You move and I'll shoot you!
- You! Open that door now.
- Do what he said, you!
- Do it!
Move it! Come on, move!
- You twitch and I'll shoot you!
- Get that door open now!
Get the door open. Come on. Move it!
- You, stay there!
- Come on, move it!
Keep down, you! Keep down.
Right, get back.
Stay down and stay quiet.
Get back, get back!
Any closer
and I'll smack you in the mouth!
Not that ballsy, you tart.
Prefer it if your mate got it (?)
You, show me where the safe is now.
I said show me now! Come, on move!
- Move, move, come on!
- Show him!
- Move, move!
- Quiet.
- Come on.
- You lot, down!
- Get it open.
- Down!
Come on, hurry up, hurry up!
Get over there, bitch.
We should move in now.
There's an officer in jeopardy.
I want that safe door open
before we rush in.
Women's undies on your head,
pointing a gun at a woman (!)
How small must your John Thomas be?
- Now SHE'S riling him. Women.
- Want to find out what it can do?
- What are you doing?
- It's making me skin itchy!
- This one's seen who you are now.
- So deal with her. I'm working!
We need Dickie red-handed. Then he'll
grass Malone up like a squealing pig.
Your problems
are much bigger than me, sunshine.
Any second now.
- (ALARM BELL RlNGS)
- Oh, yes!
- Come on!
- Good man.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Don't move, scumbags.
- We've been set up!
- All right, all right.
- (APPROACHlNG SlRENS)
This is all your fault.
None of this would have happened
if you'd left me in prison.
We know Arnold Malone is behind this,
so all I need from you
are the details.
I'm not talking with him in the room.
I mean it.
Fine by me.
Give me a shout if he needs a slap.
Promise you'll protect me
and I'll give you a name.
You're very eager to cough
all of a sudden.
He's here, in this building.
I need your protection.
Malone can't get you in here.
Swear you'll look after me.
On your mother's life.
OK. I promise. Just give me the name.
- Who'd never leave any clues behind?
- Don't start playing games with me.
He knows what you look for.
He's been steering you all along.
If you don't give me the name,
I'll just bang you up in a cell.
- He arranged the attack on your car.
- Give me the name.
He was behind the production order!
How could Malone
get a production order?
It's got nothing to do with Malone.
It's Harry Woolf!
It's Harry Woolf.
No. No way.
Hey, you said you'd protect me.
You can't go back on that!
You can't just start accusing
a serving police officer.
Where's your proof? Your evidence?
A copper like Woolf
wouldn't leave clues.
- Why are you telling me all this?
- Because I know too much!
If he gets to me in here,
I'm a dead man.
I mean, look at the cases. They all
make sense if Woolf's behind them.
You have ten seconds to give me
the real name behind these robberies.
It's the truth!
Why would I make this up?
You have to believe me.
You don't protect me, I'm a corpse.
I know you don't want to hear it,
but he's been taking
the proceeds of these robberies.
Harry Woolf's as bent as they come.
(EXHALES)
Good day's work.
Dickie Fingers should have
enough information about Malone
to make something stick,
even if it's tax evasion.
- Ah, the old Al Capone trick.
- (CHUCKLES)
See Dickie's shipped straight back
to prison, will you?
Actually, sir, I still haven't
quite finished my own enquiries.
- I'm not with you.
- I need a little bit more time.
There's another unrelated case
Dickie might have information about.
- Gene didn't mention this.
- It's only just come up.
- If I could have another 24 hours...
- That long?
I'd be very happy to take him back
as soon as I have everything I need.
- Fine.
- Thank you, sir.
Join us at the Railway Arms
when you're done.
A villain's word against a super's,
and you're confused?
If you'd have seen the look on Dickie
Fingers' face. He was terrified.
He's already made you look an idiot
once this week.
And he could be
part of Arnold Malone's vendetta
against Harry Woolf.
But what if he's telling the truth?
I have a responsibility.
Superintendent Woolf is one of the
most respected members of the force.
Other than this gossip, what evidence
have you got to suspect him?
I've read the books, Annie.
I've seen the documentaries.
"When Good Cops Go Bad". This is
the time when it all happened.
Why would he put himself
in that situation?
Just think of what he's got to lose.
His reputation, his pension,
his friends, his colleagues.
I know. You're right.
I know. Of course you are.
You've got to tell DCl Hunt.
(GENE) Got to tell me what?
Well, it's all becoming clear now.
Glances across the canteen.
Late-night conversations
in the office.
Before you know it, Cartwright,
you'll be stuck at home
with nine kids
while he's touching up the youngest
blonde in the typing pool.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
How does your missus put up with you?
Must be my legendary prowess
as a lover.
I'd better go.
So?
OK. Promise me you won't overreact.
When have I ever overreacted?
There's been an allegation from
a prisoner about one of our officers.
Phyllis is demanding slap and tickle
for a night in the cells.
Do you want to hear this or not?
Not really, but by the look on your
face, you're going to tell me anyway.
- Dickie Fingers...
- Ooh, it's a good start.
Dickie Fingers
is alleging that Har...
that Superintendent Woolf
sprang him from prison
in order to assist
in a set of robberies
that he, Harry Woolf,
is masterminding.
(CHUCKLES)
(GENE LAUGHS UPROARlOUSLY)
(AGONlSED GROAN)
I could tell you about the number
and variety of commendations
Harry Woolf has been awarded
in his long and illustrious career.
- (SCREAMS)
- And I could reel off a list
of all the lowlifes he's had removed
from the streets.
And I could, if I really wanted to,
tell you about the number of officers
that view Harry Woolf as the pinnacle
of what it means to be a copper.
Myself included.
But why would I bother with that
when this is a much more effective
means of communicating my distaste?
No!
- Right. Pub?
- Why would he lie?
Same reasons birds tweet. It's
the only thing they know how to do.
Something's not right.
Yeah, you're right.
Things have got out of hand.
Arnold Malone's
pulling all the strings
and Dickie Fingers
is singing like a canary
in the hope that some mud will stick.
If that's true, why did Malone tip us
off about the post office robbery?
And why surrender
Dickie Fingers to us?
If we knew that,
Malone would be behind bars.
Harry Woolf's been trying to do that
for half your lifetime.
- You're not going to tell Harry?
- Course I bloody am.
There's been an accusation.
There are procedures.
Sam. You've had your todger tugged.
Don't make yourself look
any more stupid than you already do.
You can't go and tell a potential
suspect everything we know.
You call him that again and I'll
break your chin in nine places.
Guv, I'm asking you nicely.
Let's do this properly.
Just for once.
Dickie Fingers said what?
The cheeky bugger.
Luckily, Dl Tyler here
brought it to my attention.
Oh, what would Big Malcolm Allison do
in a situation like this, eh, Gene?
Smack Malone
with a bottle of champagne
and stub his Cuban out on his hand.
I should take it as a compliment.
Must be getting to Malone.
He's scared enough to get his lackey
to try to discredit me.
It's an occupational hazard.
Shows you've got 'em on the ropes.
Your round, Sam.
Sorry. Did I startle you?
I thought you lived on
the other side of town, sir.
Needed some air. Clear the head.
I don't take
the accusation of corruption lightly.
I value my reputation.
I've worked a long time for it.
I know that.
But there's been an allegation
and I have a duty to investigate it.
You're a good copper, Tyler.
Malone must really be worried
to try and set me up like this.
Do you trust that I'm innocent?
- Of course, sir.
- Then you're a fool.
There's no "of course" about it.
You have a duty to report this
to Discipline and Complaints.
I don't think DCl Hunt
would agree with you.
I've always maintained
we need to be seen to be clean.
So you want me to report this?
You've received a serious allegation.
You don't know me from Adam.
Look at all the evidence,
give it your full consideration
and if you think it's best
investigated independently,
then report it to the Hush Puppies.
With my blessing.
Before you start, it wasn't my shift.
- What are you on about?
- Have you not heard?
There was a barney overnight.
Fight in Dickie Fingers' cell.
Spread out into here.
- He got out, did a runner.
- What?
- Who was on the desk?
- That's what I'm trying to find out.
If you can find the roster,
you're a better man than me.
Phyllis. The last conversation
I had with Dickie Fingers,
he was frightened for his life.
And now he's disappeared.
You can stop that now.
This is cock-up, not conspiracy.
Seriously, boss, take someone else.
Nice white face. (CHUCKLES)
I'm only on secondment.
I don't really want to get involved.
Oh, cut the performance, Glen.
When are you going to get involved?
I mean,
how long do you think you've got?
Because, believe me,
everything can change, like that.
(SlGHS) Look...I know this is
going to sound weird...
..but I know who you are underneath.
Oh, you know me, do you?
You know how it feels
when the monkey sounds start?
When the bananas
are piled up outside your locker?
If I get through a month
without murdering a colleague,
they ought to erect a statue of me.
You knew what you were getting into
when you signed up.
I didn't sign up to be
a bloody standard-bearer.
Why should I have to fight
all the battles?
Because if you don't, who will?
Somebody has to be the first.
Somebody has to take responsibility.
The only person I'm responsible for
is myself.
One day, there's going to be
a young recruit
who will look to you
to show him the way.
He'll take his principles,
his values,
his beliefs directly from you.
When that day comes,
if you're not good enough,
if all you can tell him
is to keep your head down
and don't cause any trouble,
then there's no hope for any of us,
is there?
How do you want to be
remembered, Glen?
You know, when you die?
What do you want people to say
about the sort of copper you were?
About the sort of man you were?
(SlGHS)
(MUSlC: THE HOLLlES'
"LONG COOL WOMAN lN A BLACK DRESS")
(RADlO)
# Saturday night I was downtown
# Working for the FBl
# Sitting in a nest of bad men
# Whisky bottles piling high... #
So, he likes a fry-up
and a flutter on the gee-gees.
Well, best bang him up, eh?
(CHUCKLES)
- We keep watching.
- Until he just gives himself up?
Look, I don't know what else to do.
I haven't got all the answers.
I can't even talk to anyone,
except you.
You see,
that's what I don't understand.
Why me?
Because I've got a good feeling
about you.
Oh, God, you're not a poof, are you?
Shit.
I don't mind you reporting me,
but staking out a senior officer
borders on the underhand.
Dickie Fingers
disappeared from his cell last night.
So I hear.
Has it affected your decision
to report me
to Discipline and Complaints?
I don't know what to think
any more, sir.
Trust your instincts. They're
the only thing you can rely on.
Oh, I should apologise.
I made a phone call
while I was in the bookie's.
Ah. Bang on cue.
- (TYRES SQUEAL)
- Tyler!
Oh, good. Thank you, sir.
(MUSlC: "LONG COOL WOMAN
lN A BLACK DRESS" CONTlNUES)
(KNOCKlNG)
The rules go like this:
you're my officer, you do as I say!
I was following my instincts.
Well, I should charge your instincts
with wasting police time!
(SAM KNOCKS RAPlDLY)
(KNOCKlNG)
(GRUNTS)
Be a grown-up
and admit you were wrong.
(EXHALES) Dickie didn't want
to escape. He was too scared.
So he bloody should be, throwing
round that sort of accusation.
Come on. Someone didn't want Dickie
talking to us.
Someone sprung him
and that someone is desperate
to keep him quiet.
Oi. Laurel and Hardy.
We're busy.
You're wanted at the mortuary.
This is a professional killing.
An execution.
Malone's gunning for Harry and
he doesn't care who he sacrifices.
Harry was the one who wanted to
question Dickie in the first place.
He got you to apply
for the Home Office production order.
It's the perfect way
to spring somebody from prison.
Oi, Sindy,
did I say you could come in?
I thought you'd want to know.
I found out who was on cell duty
when Dickie Fingers escaped.
Oh, aye? Who?
Do you want to tell them, or shall l?
I can explain.
I was just following orders.
After all we've been through
together. You've betrayed me.
- What are you talking about?
- That's enough, Sam. Enough!
(FLETCHER) He's off his nut.
Did you let Dickie Fingers walk?
I did what I was told.
(GASPS)
Ask Superintendent Woolf.
I wanted to see what Dickie would do
if he got his freedom.
If he went to Malone, it'd show
it was playing the way I thought.
Setting me up to take the fall.
I made a bad call. My worst.
Why didn't you let me in on this?
All this has been getting to me.
Didn't know who to trust.
I'm starting to know how you feel.
- So, you chased him...
- And I lost him. Ashamed to say.
I'm not as quick or as strong
as I used to be.
He got away from me. I had no chance
then. I just had to sit and wait.
And when the news came in
that he'd been killed...
You see the sort of people
we're dealing with here.
I'm worried.
Things are backfiring for me.
Seen from a certain angle, l...
Well, I don't have to tell you.
Malone's a devious snake, Gene.
He's decided to go in for the kill.
I'm sitting here vulnerable.
I need your help.
So...
what are we going to do?
Malone?
Well, well.
What a pleasant surprise.
I know about the robberies.
I know you had
Dickie Fingers executed.
Yeah, well, this game stops today.
(STOMPS ON ClGAR)
I've tolerated that bastard
stepping on my turf for a while.
Now he's overstepped the mark. Dickie
Fingers did not deserve to die.
We know you had him killed.
Don't be an arsehole, lad. Why
would I kill Dickie? He was the best.
I've been following Harry Woolf
for two years.
I suspected he'd try and pin it on me
sooner or later.
But killing one of my men?
Harry Woolf
has not crossed the pavement.
The man's filth.
And this ends here.
Because I say so. All right?
Oh, I've got the evidence.
Times, dates, photos.
I've got him briefing blaggers,
paying in deposits.
Whatever you need, I can provide.
You're lying.
I should have intervened sooner,
but I wanted to see
how it was going to go.
Now Dickie Fingers has paid the price
and I blame myself.
Oh, and you two, obviously.
Blundering into things
you didn't understand.
You must have panicked him.
So you're claiming
that Superintendent Woolf
arranged the execution
of Dickie Fingers?
You shall have my full cooperation
and that of my associates
and informants.
And with all that,
you should be able to construct
a watertight case against him.
You dirty scumbag!
I lost one of my men today.
For no good reason.
"Not Harry," I thought.
"Harry understands the rules.
The code of battle."
But he's crossed the line.
And I'm taking him down.
None of this is true.
He's humiliated you, DCl Hunt.
And you, his prot?g?.
Guv?
Well, go on, lad.
Run after him, then.
I've never lived up to him
the whole of me working life.
Malone could be lying.
He's not, though, is he?
Those robberies
spanned four divisions.
Multiple investigations.
Time that could have been spent
going after rapists, murderers.
Why would he do this?
I could start
an internal investigation...
Like hell you will.
We sort this out ourselves.
That's what I was taught.
(EXHALES)
So, um...
what am I supposed to tell him?
I don't care. Just get him
out the area for an hour.
Preferably two.
Yeah, but what if he cottons on?
What sort of copper are you, Glen?
(CAR DRlVES OFF)
How do you know we'll find
anything here? What about his home?
I know Harry.
And he knows the safest place
to hide criminal evidence
is in a police station.
Let's try and be
a little circumspect.
He always said Malcolm Allison
could get away with anything.
Lancashire Building Society.
Deposit account.
In the name of Mr Harcourt Woolf.
Harcourt Woolf.
My snout knew all along.
We're a laughing stock.
Give me the list
of those robbery dates.
Deposits made a few days
after each robbery.
League champions, '67-'68.
How much would it cost
to have someone killed
if you knew the right people?
It's all circumstantial.
He's hardly going to crack
under interrogation.
All we've got is Malone's word, which
is not going to stand up in court.
(PHYLLlS) Alpha One,
are you receiving?
Go ahead, Phyllis.
I've just had word. DC Fletcher got
dumped out of a car out by Audenshaw.
- Is he OK?
- Cuts and bruises.
He wanted to let you know
the guy he was with got away.
- Does that make sense to you?
- Roger that.
Harry Woolf knows we're on to him.
Well, he's not going to go
anywhere without this.
(LlFT BELL DlNGS)
You in a rush, Harry?
The coloured lad.
He's working with Malone.
He's trying to...
I've got your book.
Hoping to, er...empty your account?
Don't tell me.
Rio? Costa del Sol?
Et tu, Gene?
You believe all these things
you hear about me?
Talk me out of it.
Tell me it's all untrue.
(SlGHS) I can't.
I made you too good.
- How has this happened?
- I was stupid to involve you.
But I thought it was
a good way of covering my tracks.
You underestimated me.
You underestimated us.
It's over, Harry.
- You read much Freud, Dl Tyler?
- I'm more of a Dan Brown man.
Every son kills his father.
That's what my dad used to quote me.
It's a wonder I'm so well-adjusted.
How has this happened?
Have you seen Arnold Malone's house?
Three times the size of mine.
Two more in Spain.
I saw these villains getting rich.
Looked in my wage packet, thought,
"Something's skew-whiff here."
So, I thought, "Set up
the robberies, frame Malone,
"he gets banged up,
I get a bit of cash."
It's not like he doesn't deserve it.
Come on!
It's not exactly murder
or kiddie-fiddling, is it?
You had Dickie Fingers killed.
Yeah.
That's when things
started to get a bit tricky.
So...
how do we get out of this?
We arrest you.
- Have you told him?
- Have you told me what?
Ah, you were trying to protect him.
He really does
know his onions, this lad.
Have you told me what?
I'm dying, Gene.
A year, maximum.
Let me have the cash, ticket to
Majorca and I'll disappear for ever.
No one else needs to get hurt.
Let me see this out in peace.
How many villains have I put away?
Doesn't that earn me something?
No.
Give me the book, Gene.
(COCKS GUN)
Great minds think alike.
OK, don't be stupid.
It doesn't have to end like this.
Are you really
capable of taking me down?
After I made you?
If he isn't capable...
..I am.
I trusted you. Sir.
Believed I was helping you
investigate Malone.
You're supposed to be the example.
So...
which one of us is going to have
the balls to shoot first?
Drop the gun!
Drop the gun, sir!
Don't remember me like this.
I'll call you an ambulance.
Guv.
(APPROACHlNG FOOTSTEPS)
Another transfer.
Another station, eh?
That's what people do, in't it?
When there's been a bit of bother
and they want to avoid the fallout.
Thanks, Sam.
Thanks for not letting on about me
to Discipline and Complaints.
I owe you one.
You'll pay me back. In time.
I wish I had half your belief in me.
You will have.
Just...you know, make it count.
Be the good role model.
Make people remember you.
Earn your headline.
Don't take this
the wrong way, Dl Tyler,
but you're a mental case.
- (WOMAN) Operator.
- Put me through to a Hyde number.
It's Hyde 261 2.
- Connecting.
- (CLlCKlNG)
(MAN) Hello?
- Who is this?
- Sam?
Sam, is that you?
You've been making calls to my phone.
Don't call here again, Sam.
What?
You know the rules.
- What rules?
- I call you.
- Who are you?
- (CLlCK)
So what's these
staff appraisals, then?
More of your
Age of Aquarius bollocks?
I could do an appraisal on you,
if you like.
Hey, if there's any appraising
to be done, I'll be the one to do it.
You don't even understand
the concept of it.
How about, "doesn't obey me orders,
goes off on his own whim"?
No, that's not how it works.
I know. I just felt like saying it.
So what about the money?
It'll be confiscated.
Harry'll lose his pension.
(MUSlC: ELTON JOHN'S
"GOODBYE YELLOW BRlCK ROAD")
So he's going to die penniless
and alone.
No. I won't let that happen.
- Do you want my appraisal of you?
- No.
It's your round, then.
(SNORTS)
Thank you.
# Ah
# Ah
# So goodbye, yellow brick road
# Where the dogs of society howl
# You can't plant me
in your penthouse
# I'm going back to my plough
# Back to the howlin' old owl
in the woods
# Hunting the horny-back toad
# Oh, I finally decided
my future lies
# Beyond the yellow brick road
# Ah... #
Enough of the blarney! We're pulling
you all in for questioning!
This hasn't got owt to do
with that lRA bomb?
You the monkey or the organ grinder?
Who's making the calls? Planting
the bombs? I want names. Now!
Phyllis, it might be an idea
if they go through all the O's
in the phone book.
Hey, while we're at it,
why don't we pull in that
well-known terrorist suspect Dana?
How about Val Doonican?
Bit sick, in't he?
Planting a bomb near a school.
He needed to know
we'd take his threat seriously.
(SAM) You're condemning a man
before he's even been tried!
- Because I know he's guilty!
- And what if he's innocent?
"SWEET JANE")
(CHRIS) I'd hate to end up in prison.
(SAM) It's not very likely,
is it, Chris?
What if I was
accused of murdering me wife,
Iike David Janssen in "The Fugitive"?
You mean Harrison Ford.
No, I don't.
He got off in the last episode.
Five years, that took. I can't do
five years, Ray. I'm not that strong.
Chris, you don't even have a wife.
And I'm not likely to,
if it means ending up in chokey.
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Detective lnspector Tyler.
Collecting Richard Hands.
Production order?
- (BUZZER, THEN DOOR CLANGS)
- (MAN) All right, all right.
Oh, bloody Nora.
Sticky Dickie Fingers.
- (THEY BLEAT)
- What are you doing?
Dickie's famous
for getting caught in Alicante.
Flagrante, Chris. In flagrante.
Right. Flagrante. With a sheep.
It were dark. We all make mistakes.
- (THEY BLEAT)
- Yeah, all right, that's enough.
What the hell's this about, anyway?
We have new information
about two robberies
committed just before
you were banged up.
My guv wants to talk to you.
Come on.
- No need to be sheepish.
- (RAY CHUCKLES)
(THEY BLEAT)
(MUSlC: MUNGO JERRY'S
"lN THE SUMMERTlME")
- (RAY) Look, Dickie. There's a lamb.
- What do you think I am? A nonce?
- Baaa...
- Baa...
- (VAN DRlVER HONKS HORN)
- What's up with him?
- (HONKS HORN)
- Bloody hell, they're armed.
What do we do? What do we do?
- Pull over now!
- Evasive action. Evasive action.
- Just keep driving, Chris.
- Stop the car!
- Just try and stay calm, Chris.
- Pull over or I'll shoot!
- Pull over!
- Oh...what do I do? What do I do?!
Stay calm.
- Remember the system of car control.
- What are you talking about?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- (SHEEP BLEATS)
- (RAY) Not that evasive, you div!
- Everybody all right?
- Yeah, no thanks to Chris's driving.
- Get out the car!
- Come on, move!
- Move!
- Get over there.
- Hands on top!
- You've got the wrong man!
Oh, I'm not having this.
Move, sunshine,
and the next one's yours.
(DlCKlE SHOUTS)
Leave me alone, will you?
Didn't go too well, that.
- (DlCKlE) You've got the wrong man!
- (VAN ENGlNE REVS, DOORS SLAM)
(SHEEP BLEAT)
My name is Sam Tyler.
I had an accident
and I woke up in 1973.
Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time?
Whatever's happened, it's like
I've landed on a different planet.
Now, maybe if I can work out
the reason, I can get home.
I've seen cesspits with more brains.
This was supposed to be a simple job.
It was a stitch-up.
Somebody knew what we were doing.
Thank you, Dorothy,
I think we've worked that out.
I just thought three of my finest
might have put up a better fight.
If you'd taken Cartwright, she could
have flashed her tits to stop 'em.
How's your first day, petal?
All the better for the topless
calendars left on my desk, sir (!)
- Well?
- They were all tooled up.
- What were we supposed to do?
- Not lose a prisoner of Her Majesty!
Now, now, Gene. Back off a little.
Lads have had a hard day.
At least we've had one break today.
Superintendent Woolf's offered
to help with our investigation.
Honoured to have you on board, sir.
What makes this case so special?
I know who's behind it.
Arnold Malone. He'd be my nemesis
if he knew how to spell it.
Responsible for most of the robberies
in Manchester these past 20 years.
He has evaded my grasp and made
a lot of money in the process.
- Arnold Malone's time is up.
- Not that this is a vendetta.
Oh, that's exactly what it is.
With good reason.
Try this for your bedtime reading.
Might give you nightmares, mind.
Violence against civilians unlucky
enough to get caught up in his blags.
Why haven't you collared him?
- Sorry, I didn't...I didn't mean...
- No, no, fair question.
I haven't been good enough, love.
I need your help, gents...Iady.
This is my last case.
I see Arnold Malone brought to book,
I can retire a happy man.
It won't be easy, mind. Malone
is a nasty, devious piece of work.
So you think Malone's behind
Dickie Fingers being sprung?
I'll stake
Gene's season ticket on it.
This has got Malone's fingerprints
all over it.
Dickie Fingers
is the key to nailing Malone.
Malone's not dumb enough
to be hiding Dickie Fingers himself,
so I want the names
of all Malone's associates.
One of them must know
where Fingers is being hidden.
Find out the word on the street.
Get out with the snouts.
- (MUSlC: "AlN'T GOT NO")
- Who's hiding Dickie Fingers, Denis?
- Don't know.
- Sure?
OK. Come on.
# Ain't got no pot,
ain't got no faith...
Excuse me, love.
Yes, boys?
- Have you seen this fella?
- No, sorry.
# Ain't got no shine
Ain't got no underwear
- # Ain't got no soap...
- Come on.
- # Ain't got no mind
- # Lost it...
- Ali, you must have seen him.
- No, I haven't seen him.
OK.
You didn't try hard enough.
A villain farts, our snouts should be
able to name the arse responsible.
We spoke to everyone. Nobody knows
what happened to Dickie Fingers.
Do I have to do everything myself?
Come on!
(WOMAN) "Evening News"!
Right, Dilys. I want all the news
that's unfit to print.
Especially about Dickie Fingers.
Ain't talking in front of your pansy.
- I think she means you.
- Yeah.
Here y'are. Go read "Fred Basset".
Oi. Deaf aid. Hop it.
(TRAlN CLATTERS BY)
(HOSPlTAL MONlTOR BLEEPS)
(MAN) Congratulations,
Detective Chief lnspector Tyler.
(SAM) I can't believe it. Me, a DCl?
- I never doubted it.
- Thank you, sir. For everything.
No need to thank me. You earned it.
Be a good role model, Sam.
(MAN # 2) I'm sorry for your loss.
Who are you?
What do you want?
The 2.20 at Aintree. Who won?
Oh.
Oi, Bill and Ben!
Sod off, we're working here.
What's up with you? You're as white
as a pint of gold top.
The bloke who looked after me
when I joined the force. He's dead.
Oh.
- Close, were you?
- You could say he was my mentor.
I went to him for advice
on everything.
Even when they promoted him upstairs.
I learned the job from him, really.
I think I knew him.
Was Dl Frankenstein, wasn't it?
Certainly lumbered me with a monster.
Don't you have any respect?
No. But I do have a name
behind Dickie Fingers' kidnapping.
Word on the street is we should be
looking for a Mr Harcourt.
Age? Address?
Dunno. That's why
you'll go through these records
until you find any mention
of the name from the past 30 years.
What if your snout's got it wrong?
This could be
a massive waste of resources.
Dilys is never wrong.
Anyway, we've got an extra pair
of hands seconded from C Division.
- DC Glen Fletcher.
- (DOOR OPENS)
Dl Sam Tyler. Welcome.
Don't worry. It doesn't rub off.
(CHUCKLES)
DC Chris Skelton.
WDC Cartright. Annie.
I'm sort of new around here too.
First women, now a coloured.
What's going to be next? Dwarves?
You here to do the spadework, then?
It can get a bit cold round here.
It's not like being back home.
What? Burnage? (LAUGHS)
You'll have to excuse DS Carling.
He's our resident Neanderthal.
No, good point, though.
When that heatwave hit last month,
I thought Enoch Powell
had had me deported.
Don't worry. If there's a power cut,
I'll roll me eyes and you can
follow me out to the exit.
(MEN LAUGH)
What a nice lad.
- (SCATTERED LAUGHTER)
- All right, that's enough!
(CHUCKLES)
You don't have to play Uncle Tom
to fit in around here, OK?
- You're better than that.
- Hold up.
Dl Tyler?
You were at Hyde.
Yeah.
You know, I was at Hyde for a bit.
Weren't there a bit of bother?
I'm sure I remember your name.
Here we go. Come on.
Tell us what a bastard he really is.
I... You must be, um...mixing me up
with somebody else.
No. I don't think I am.
Robbery in progress.
Wages van in Sparks Lane.
Tyler!
(MUSlC: URlAH HEEP'S "LOVE MACHlNE")
(TYRES SQUEAL)
(MUFFLED) Help! Help!
Help!
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS) There were three of them.
Shooters!
They had stockings over their heads.
Bloody perverts.
Nine year I've been driving this van.
I've never seen the like.
Must have known the route,
the day, the time.
Everything down to what
miladdo had for breakfast.
Probably been shadowing him
for weeks.
Have you got a co-driver?
Or a security helmet?
What would I want that for? That
safe's supposed to be unopenable.
Advert said it'd take
a ton of explosives
or Albert Einstein to get in there.
And all it took was a scrawny thief.
Dickie Fingers was obviously sprung
to be a part of this robbery.
The likelihood is that Fingers and
Malone were in cahoots from the off.
Dickie Fingers was more scared
than all of us put together.
He had no idea what was going on.
I don't know
if you've noticed, Marjorie,
but the criminal fraternity
sometimes indulge
in practices called pretending
and lying.
Please excuse Dl Tyler. He has this
terrible condition called naivety.
No, no. Maybe he's right. You were
on the scene. You know what you saw.
Well, our first priority is to make
sure the thieves don't strike again.
It'll be tricky,
'cause these sorts of gangs
rarely have
just one target on the go.
They've usually researched
half a dozen possibilities,
waiting for the most opportune
circumstances on any of them.
- He knows his onions, this lad, eh?
- Oh, he's a right little smart-arse.
So, what do you suggest, Buddha?
We profile the previous robberies,
see if any patterns emerge.
Compile a list of places
with large amounts of cash
or valuables on the premises.
We correlate the value of the goods
with the level of security
and you end up with a league table
of the most vulnerable organisations.
Don't you agree?
Glen.
League tables?
Yeah.
I haven't got a bloody clue
what you're on about, sir.
Well, it's a list with
the likeliest targets at the top.
Why couldn't you say that
in the first place?
Because he wouldn't have
sounded like a twonk.
Sorry, Ray. I forget you have trouble
with words of more than no syllables.
DC Skelton. You and DC Fletcher
get onto these...
Ieague tables of possible targets.
See who's most likely
to win the title.
Sam. You and I are going to send
a little signal to Arnold Malone.
- What sort of signal?
- I thought I'd arrest him.
We've no concrete evidence to
implicate Malone in these robberies.
I understand
you want to help out an old mate.
I've seen good men die on this job.
Keel over
trying to settle old scores.
In ten years,
I don't want to see Harry Woolf
wandering around like Nipper after
Ronnie Biggs. He's too good for that.
If Woolf hasn't managed to catch
Malone after all this time,
what makes you think you can?
What you would undoubtedly call
my differing methodological approach.
Wave this about a bit
when we get inside
and try and look hard for once.
Have you ever
heard of softly, softly?
Yes. But I prefer "Z Cars".
Don't move.
You're surrounded by armed bastards.
I said, don't move!
Are you deaf?
- This is not how things are done.
- Times change.
(SAM) We know you were responsible
for the Sparks Lane raid, Malone.
Not to mention springing Dickie
Fingers from our transport car.
Copper's wet dream.
You're barking up the wrong tree.
Your trademarks
are all over that robbery.
I hope you're not insinuating
I'm crooked.
What are you doing
with the notes, Malone?
Vending them through the bookies?
Buying industrial equipment for cash?
Mr Woolf.
Oh, you're looking so tired.
You not been sleeping well?
When did you last have a holiday?
Me and the family had
a month in Barbados over Christmas.
Course, er...
it's not easy on your salary, is it?
I could always stand you a few grand
if you're a bit strapped for cash.
- I'm all right.
- Take five minutes.
- I don't need...
- Don't give him the satisfaction.
Thanks.
Poor bloke. He's not what he was.
I'll count to one, then I'll pull
your teeth out with pliers.
- Where's Dickie Fingers?
- I haven't got the moaning old git.
Why should we believe you?
Because I can tell you the next place
that's being done over.
Arnold Malone gets all cooperative.
Why does that make my skin crawl?
Raxton Street. Main post office.
They're going for cash, stamps
and postal orders.
- Nice haul if you get away with it.
- Don't believe you.
It was obvious to a blind deaf mute
what Sparks Lane were all about.
Low-level blag to see whether Dickie
was still match-fit.
No. Raxton Street's the big one.
Why are you telling us this?
Always a pleasure
to assist the police.
- When's it going off?
- Um...
Just under an hour.
Chris, round up everyone you can get.
Ray, wake up and get a van.
Cartwright, stick lipstick on.
There's a blag on at Raxton Street
post office in an hour.
I want the lot of you in there
under cover.
We're gonna catch these bastards
with their fingers in the till.
Come on, what are you waiting for?
If Malone's behind these robberies,
then why is he tipping us off?
He said there's a turf war.
That means Malone isn't behind
Dickie Fingers' disappearance.
- It could be a set-up.
- You always do this to me.
I run in certain
and walk out confused.
We're risking officers without being
in full possession of the facts!
My officers are trained
for exactly this type of situation.
- Did you say bank or post office?
- Oh, Chris, Chris. Post office!
Right, we have 57 minutes
to respond to a 24-carat tip-off
which I'm 100% confident about.
And which I say
is too much of a risk.
You know, if I was as worried as you,
I'd never fart
for fear of shitting myself.
Now, we have one chance
to recapture Dickie Fingers.
The Dickie Fingers that you let go of
in the first place.
You be at Raxton Street
in ten minutes for my briefing
or you never set foot
in this building again.
Comprehendez, muchacho?
- Yes, guv.
- Good!
What's happened to Harry?
Sir.
- Harry.
- It's not what you think.
- I saw your hands shaking before.
- You have no idea.
I do.
I've seen it a dozen times.
Look, half of ClD will be alcoholics
by the time Maggie Thatcher
becomes Prime Minister.
If Margaret Thatcher
ever becomes Prime Minister,
I'll have been doing something
a lot stronger than whisky.
I'm taking these tablets.
They're strong enough to knock out
a horse. This helps wash 'em down.
Whatever. Really?
For the cancer.
Nine months. Year at the outside.
- Does Gene...?
- No. And you're not to tell him.
- Sir.
- I don't want his pity.
So I'll appreciate your discretion,
Detective lnspector.
Or rather, silence.
Now, what's happening with Malone?
He's given us a tip-off.
The post office in Raxton Street
is about to be hit.
- The guv's put some lads in there.
- What, now? (GASPS lN PAlN)
Here you go, love.
Now don't spend it all at once.
Oh, I know, love.
I miss shillings too.
There we go. Remember, happy
birthdays begin with the postman.
Thank you.
There's still ordinary
customers out there.
Because those amateurs are taking
so long to process the queue.
Sir.
Whatever it is,
I haven't got time for it.
Blag's due at four on the dot.
I haven't received
any firearms training.
That's not right.
You see, this is why
birds and ClD don't mix.
You give a bloke a gun,
it's a dream come true.
You give a girl one, she moans
it doesn't go with her dress.
Now start behaving like a detective
and show some balls.
Thanks for being so sympathetic, sir.
Let's hope you don't end up
in my firing line.
- She just threaten to shoot me?
- Bright future ahead of her, that lass.
OK. That's the last customer out.
The only people left in there now
are ours.
Oi! Remember. Let it go on
till we've got the evidence we need.
I want 'em red-handed, holding
enough rope to hang themselves with.
(RAPlD TlCKlNG)
(GENE) Come on, boys.
Show your faces.
(SLOW TlCKlNG)
Every bastard down now!
This is a robbery!
Get down now on your knees!
- Get down.
- Do it.
- You move and I'll shoot you!
- You! Open that door now.
- Do what he said, you!
- Do it!
Move it! Come on, move!
- You twitch and I'll shoot you!
- Get that door open now!
Get the door open. Come on. Move it!
- You, stay there!
- Come on, move it!
Keep down, you! Keep down.
Right, get back.
Stay down and stay quiet.
Get back, get back!
Any closer
and I'll smack you in the mouth!
Not that ballsy, you tart.
Prefer it if your mate got it (?)
You, show me where the safe is now.
I said show me now! Come, on move!
- Move, move, come on!
- Show him!
- Move, move!
- Quiet.
- Come on.
- You lot, down!
- Get it open.
- Down!
Come on, hurry up, hurry up!
Get over there, bitch.
We should move in now.
There's an officer in jeopardy.
I want that safe door open
before we rush in.
Women's undies on your head,
pointing a gun at a woman (!)
How small must your John Thomas be?
- Now SHE'S riling him. Women.
- Want to find out what it can do?
- What are you doing?
- It's making me skin itchy!
- This one's seen who you are now.
- So deal with her. I'm working!
We need Dickie red-handed. Then he'll
grass Malone up like a squealing pig.
Your problems
are much bigger than me, sunshine.
Any second now.
- (ALARM BELL RlNGS)
- Oh, yes!
- Come on!
- Good man.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Don't move, scumbags.
- We've been set up!
- All right, all right.
- (APPROACHlNG SlRENS)
This is all your fault.
None of this would have happened
if you'd left me in prison.
We know Arnold Malone is behind this,
so all I need from you
are the details.
I'm not talking with him in the room.
I mean it.
Fine by me.
Give me a shout if he needs a slap.
Promise you'll protect me
and I'll give you a name.
You're very eager to cough
all of a sudden.
He's here, in this building.
I need your protection.
Malone can't get you in here.
Swear you'll look after me.
On your mother's life.
OK. I promise. Just give me the name.
- Who'd never leave any clues behind?
- Don't start playing games with me.
He knows what you look for.
He's been steering you all along.
If you don't give me the name,
I'll just bang you up in a cell.
- He arranged the attack on your car.
- Give me the name.
He was behind the production order!
How could Malone
get a production order?
It's got nothing to do with Malone.
It's Harry Woolf!
It's Harry Woolf.
No. No way.
Hey, you said you'd protect me.
You can't go back on that!
You can't just start accusing
a serving police officer.
Where's your proof? Your evidence?
A copper like Woolf
wouldn't leave clues.
- Why are you telling me all this?
- Because I know too much!
If he gets to me in here,
I'm a dead man.
I mean, look at the cases. They all
make sense if Woolf's behind them.
You have ten seconds to give me
the real name behind these robberies.
It's the truth!
Why would I make this up?
You have to believe me.
You don't protect me, I'm a corpse.
I know you don't want to hear it,
but he's been taking
the proceeds of these robberies.
Harry Woolf's as bent as they come.
(EXHALES)
Good day's work.
Dickie Fingers should have
enough information about Malone
to make something stick,
even if it's tax evasion.
- Ah, the old Al Capone trick.
- (CHUCKLES)
See Dickie's shipped straight back
to prison, will you?
Actually, sir, I still haven't
quite finished my own enquiries.
- I'm not with you.
- I need a little bit more time.
There's another unrelated case
Dickie might have information about.
- Gene didn't mention this.
- It's only just come up.
- If I could have another 24 hours...
- That long?
I'd be very happy to take him back
as soon as I have everything I need.
- Fine.
- Thank you, sir.
Join us at the Railway Arms
when you're done.
A villain's word against a super's,
and you're confused?
If you'd have seen the look on Dickie
Fingers' face. He was terrified.
He's already made you look an idiot
once this week.
And he could be
part of Arnold Malone's vendetta
against Harry Woolf.
But what if he's telling the truth?
I have a responsibility.
Superintendent Woolf is one of the
most respected members of the force.
Other than this gossip, what evidence
have you got to suspect him?
I've read the books, Annie.
I've seen the documentaries.
"When Good Cops Go Bad". This is
the time when it all happened.
Why would he put himself
in that situation?
Just think of what he's got to lose.
His reputation, his pension,
his friends, his colleagues.
I know. You're right.
I know. Of course you are.
You've got to tell DCl Hunt.
(GENE) Got to tell me what?
Well, it's all becoming clear now.
Glances across the canteen.
Late-night conversations
in the office.
Before you know it, Cartwright,
you'll be stuck at home
with nine kids
while he's touching up the youngest
blonde in the typing pool.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
How does your missus put up with you?
Must be my legendary prowess
as a lover.
I'd better go.
So?
OK. Promise me you won't overreact.
When have I ever overreacted?
There's been an allegation from
a prisoner about one of our officers.
Phyllis is demanding slap and tickle
for a night in the cells.
Do you want to hear this or not?
Not really, but by the look on your
face, you're going to tell me anyway.
- Dickie Fingers...
- Ooh, it's a good start.
Dickie Fingers
is alleging that Har...
that Superintendent Woolf
sprang him from prison
in order to assist
in a set of robberies
that he, Harry Woolf,
is masterminding.
(CHUCKLES)
(GENE LAUGHS UPROARlOUSLY)
(AGONlSED GROAN)
I could tell you about the number
and variety of commendations
Harry Woolf has been awarded
in his long and illustrious career.
- (SCREAMS)
- And I could reel off a list
of all the lowlifes he's had removed
from the streets.
And I could, if I really wanted to,
tell you about the number of officers
that view Harry Woolf as the pinnacle
of what it means to be a copper.
Myself included.
But why would I bother with that
when this is a much more effective
means of communicating my distaste?
No!
- Right. Pub?
- Why would he lie?
Same reasons birds tweet. It's
the only thing they know how to do.
Something's not right.
Yeah, you're right.
Things have got out of hand.
Arnold Malone's
pulling all the strings
and Dickie Fingers
is singing like a canary
in the hope that some mud will stick.
If that's true, why did Malone tip us
off about the post office robbery?
And why surrender
Dickie Fingers to us?
If we knew that,
Malone would be behind bars.
Harry Woolf's been trying to do that
for half your lifetime.
- You're not going to tell Harry?
- Course I bloody am.
There's been an accusation.
There are procedures.
Sam. You've had your todger tugged.
Don't make yourself look
any more stupid than you already do.
You can't go and tell a potential
suspect everything we know.
You call him that again and I'll
break your chin in nine places.
Guv, I'm asking you nicely.
Let's do this properly.
Just for once.
Dickie Fingers said what?
The cheeky bugger.
Luckily, Dl Tyler here
brought it to my attention.
Oh, what would Big Malcolm Allison do
in a situation like this, eh, Gene?
Smack Malone
with a bottle of champagne
and stub his Cuban out on his hand.
I should take it as a compliment.
Must be getting to Malone.
He's scared enough to get his lackey
to try to discredit me.
It's an occupational hazard.
Shows you've got 'em on the ropes.
Your round, Sam.
Sorry. Did I startle you?
I thought you lived on
the other side of town, sir.
Needed some air. Clear the head.
I don't take
the accusation of corruption lightly.
I value my reputation.
I've worked a long time for it.
I know that.
But there's been an allegation
and I have a duty to investigate it.
You're a good copper, Tyler.
Malone must really be worried
to try and set me up like this.
Do you trust that I'm innocent?
- Of course, sir.
- Then you're a fool.
There's no "of course" about it.
You have a duty to report this
to Discipline and Complaints.
I don't think DCl Hunt
would agree with you.
I've always maintained
we need to be seen to be clean.
So you want me to report this?
You've received a serious allegation.
You don't know me from Adam.
Look at all the evidence,
give it your full consideration
and if you think it's best
investigated independently,
then report it to the Hush Puppies.
With my blessing.
Before you start, it wasn't my shift.
- What are you on about?
- Have you not heard?
There was a barney overnight.
Fight in Dickie Fingers' cell.
Spread out into here.
- He got out, did a runner.
- What?
- Who was on the desk?
- That's what I'm trying to find out.
If you can find the roster,
you're a better man than me.
Phyllis. The last conversation
I had with Dickie Fingers,
he was frightened for his life.
And now he's disappeared.
You can stop that now.
This is cock-up, not conspiracy.
Seriously, boss, take someone else.
Nice white face. (CHUCKLES)
I'm only on secondment.
I don't really want to get involved.
Oh, cut the performance, Glen.
When are you going to get involved?
I mean,
how long do you think you've got?
Because, believe me,
everything can change, like that.
(SlGHS) Look...I know this is
going to sound weird...
..but I know who you are underneath.
Oh, you know me, do you?
You know how it feels
when the monkey sounds start?
When the bananas
are piled up outside your locker?
If I get through a month
without murdering a colleague,
they ought to erect a statue of me.
You knew what you were getting into
when you signed up.
I didn't sign up to be
a bloody standard-bearer.
Why should I have to fight
all the battles?
Because if you don't, who will?
Somebody has to be the first.
Somebody has to take responsibility.
The only person I'm responsible for
is myself.
One day, there's going to be
a young recruit
who will look to you
to show him the way.
He'll take his principles,
his values,
his beliefs directly from you.
When that day comes,
if you're not good enough,
if all you can tell him
is to keep your head down
and don't cause any trouble,
then there's no hope for any of us,
is there?
How do you want to be
remembered, Glen?
You know, when you die?
What do you want people to say
about the sort of copper you were?
About the sort of man you were?
(SlGHS)
(MUSlC: THE HOLLlES'
"LONG COOL WOMAN lN A BLACK DRESS")
(RADlO)
# Saturday night I was downtown
# Working for the FBl
# Sitting in a nest of bad men
# Whisky bottles piling high... #
So, he likes a fry-up
and a flutter on the gee-gees.
Well, best bang him up, eh?
(CHUCKLES)
- We keep watching.
- Until he just gives himself up?
Look, I don't know what else to do.
I haven't got all the answers.
I can't even talk to anyone,
except you.
You see,
that's what I don't understand.
Why me?
Because I've got a good feeling
about you.
Oh, God, you're not a poof, are you?
Shit.
I don't mind you reporting me,
but staking out a senior officer
borders on the underhand.
Dickie Fingers
disappeared from his cell last night.
So I hear.
Has it affected your decision
to report me
to Discipline and Complaints?
I don't know what to think
any more, sir.
Trust your instincts. They're
the only thing you can rely on.
Oh, I should apologise.
I made a phone call
while I was in the bookie's.
Ah. Bang on cue.
- (TYRES SQUEAL)
- Tyler!
Oh, good. Thank you, sir.
(MUSlC: "LONG COOL WOMAN
lN A BLACK DRESS" CONTlNUES)
(KNOCKlNG)
The rules go like this:
you're my officer, you do as I say!
I was following my instincts.
Well, I should charge your instincts
with wasting police time!
(SAM KNOCKS RAPlDLY)
(KNOCKlNG)
(GRUNTS)
Be a grown-up
and admit you were wrong.
(EXHALES) Dickie didn't want
to escape. He was too scared.
So he bloody should be, throwing
round that sort of accusation.
Come on. Someone didn't want Dickie
talking to us.
Someone sprung him
and that someone is desperate
to keep him quiet.
Oi. Laurel and Hardy.
We're busy.
You're wanted at the mortuary.
This is a professional killing.
An execution.
Malone's gunning for Harry and
he doesn't care who he sacrifices.
Harry was the one who wanted to
question Dickie in the first place.
He got you to apply
for the Home Office production order.
It's the perfect way
to spring somebody from prison.
Oi, Sindy,
did I say you could come in?
I thought you'd want to know.
I found out who was on cell duty
when Dickie Fingers escaped.
Oh, aye? Who?
Do you want to tell them, or shall l?
I can explain.
I was just following orders.
After all we've been through
together. You've betrayed me.
- What are you talking about?
- That's enough, Sam. Enough!
(FLETCHER) He's off his nut.
Did you let Dickie Fingers walk?
I did what I was told.
(GASPS)
Ask Superintendent Woolf.
I wanted to see what Dickie would do
if he got his freedom.
If he went to Malone, it'd show
it was playing the way I thought.
Setting me up to take the fall.
I made a bad call. My worst.
Why didn't you let me in on this?
All this has been getting to me.
Didn't know who to trust.
I'm starting to know how you feel.
- So, you chased him...
- And I lost him. Ashamed to say.
I'm not as quick or as strong
as I used to be.
He got away from me. I had no chance
then. I just had to sit and wait.
And when the news came in
that he'd been killed...
You see the sort of people
we're dealing with here.
I'm worried.
Things are backfiring for me.
Seen from a certain angle, l...
Well, I don't have to tell you.
Malone's a devious snake, Gene.
He's decided to go in for the kill.
I'm sitting here vulnerable.
I need your help.
So...
what are we going to do?
Malone?
Well, well.
What a pleasant surprise.
I know about the robberies.
I know you had
Dickie Fingers executed.
Yeah, well, this game stops today.
(STOMPS ON ClGAR)
I've tolerated that bastard
stepping on my turf for a while.
Now he's overstepped the mark. Dickie
Fingers did not deserve to die.
We know you had him killed.
Don't be an arsehole, lad. Why
would I kill Dickie? He was the best.
I've been following Harry Woolf
for two years.
I suspected he'd try and pin it on me
sooner or later.
But killing one of my men?
Harry Woolf
has not crossed the pavement.
The man's filth.
And this ends here.
Because I say so. All right?
Oh, I've got the evidence.
Times, dates, photos.
I've got him briefing blaggers,
paying in deposits.
Whatever you need, I can provide.
You're lying.
I should have intervened sooner,
but I wanted to see
how it was going to go.
Now Dickie Fingers has paid the price
and I blame myself.
Oh, and you two, obviously.
Blundering into things
you didn't understand.
You must have panicked him.
So you're claiming
that Superintendent Woolf
arranged the execution
of Dickie Fingers?
You shall have my full cooperation
and that of my associates
and informants.
And with all that,
you should be able to construct
a watertight case against him.
You dirty scumbag!
I lost one of my men today.
For no good reason.
"Not Harry," I thought.
"Harry understands the rules.
The code of battle."
But he's crossed the line.
And I'm taking him down.
None of this is true.
He's humiliated you, DCl Hunt.
And you, his prot?g?.
Guv?
Well, go on, lad.
Run after him, then.
I've never lived up to him
the whole of me working life.
Malone could be lying.
He's not, though, is he?
Those robberies
spanned four divisions.
Multiple investigations.
Time that could have been spent
going after rapists, murderers.
Why would he do this?
I could start
an internal investigation...
Like hell you will.
We sort this out ourselves.
That's what I was taught.
(EXHALES)
So, um...
what am I supposed to tell him?
I don't care. Just get him
out the area for an hour.
Preferably two.
Yeah, but what if he cottons on?
What sort of copper are you, Glen?
(CAR DRlVES OFF)
How do you know we'll find
anything here? What about his home?
I know Harry.
And he knows the safest place
to hide criminal evidence
is in a police station.
Let's try and be
a little circumspect.
He always said Malcolm Allison
could get away with anything.
Lancashire Building Society.
Deposit account.
In the name of Mr Harcourt Woolf.
Harcourt Woolf.
My snout knew all along.
We're a laughing stock.
Give me the list
of those robbery dates.
Deposits made a few days
after each robbery.
League champions, '67-'68.
How much would it cost
to have someone killed
if you knew the right people?
It's all circumstantial.
He's hardly going to crack
under interrogation.
All we've got is Malone's word, which
is not going to stand up in court.
(PHYLLlS) Alpha One,
are you receiving?
Go ahead, Phyllis.
I've just had word. DC Fletcher got
dumped out of a car out by Audenshaw.
- Is he OK?
- Cuts and bruises.
He wanted to let you know
the guy he was with got away.
- Does that make sense to you?
- Roger that.
Harry Woolf knows we're on to him.
Well, he's not going to go
anywhere without this.
(LlFT BELL DlNGS)
You in a rush, Harry?
The coloured lad.
He's working with Malone.
He's trying to...
I've got your book.
Hoping to, er...empty your account?
Don't tell me.
Rio? Costa del Sol?
Et tu, Gene?
You believe all these things
you hear about me?
Talk me out of it.
Tell me it's all untrue.
(SlGHS) I can't.
I made you too good.
- How has this happened?
- I was stupid to involve you.
But I thought it was
a good way of covering my tracks.
You underestimated me.
You underestimated us.
It's over, Harry.
- You read much Freud, Dl Tyler?
- I'm more of a Dan Brown man.
Every son kills his father.
That's what my dad used to quote me.
It's a wonder I'm so well-adjusted.
How has this happened?
Have you seen Arnold Malone's house?
Three times the size of mine.
Two more in Spain.
I saw these villains getting rich.
Looked in my wage packet, thought,
"Something's skew-whiff here."
So, I thought, "Set up
the robberies, frame Malone,
"he gets banged up,
I get a bit of cash."
It's not like he doesn't deserve it.
Come on!
It's not exactly murder
or kiddie-fiddling, is it?
You had Dickie Fingers killed.
Yeah.
That's when things
started to get a bit tricky.
So...
how do we get out of this?
We arrest you.
- Have you told him?
- Have you told me what?
Ah, you were trying to protect him.
He really does
know his onions, this lad.
Have you told me what?
I'm dying, Gene.
A year, maximum.
Let me have the cash, ticket to
Majorca and I'll disappear for ever.
No one else needs to get hurt.
Let me see this out in peace.
How many villains have I put away?
Doesn't that earn me something?
No.
Give me the book, Gene.
(COCKS GUN)
Great minds think alike.
OK, don't be stupid.
It doesn't have to end like this.
Are you really
capable of taking me down?
After I made you?
If he isn't capable...
..I am.
I trusted you. Sir.
Believed I was helping you
investigate Malone.
You're supposed to be the example.
So...
which one of us is going to have
the balls to shoot first?
Drop the gun!
Drop the gun, sir!
Don't remember me like this.
I'll call you an ambulance.
Guv.
(APPROACHlNG FOOTSTEPS)
Another transfer.
Another station, eh?
That's what people do, in't it?
When there's been a bit of bother
and they want to avoid the fallout.
Thanks, Sam.
Thanks for not letting on about me
to Discipline and Complaints.
I owe you one.
You'll pay me back. In time.
I wish I had half your belief in me.
You will have.
Just...you know, make it count.
Be the good role model.
Make people remember you.
Earn your headline.
Don't take this
the wrong way, Dl Tyler,
but you're a mental case.
- (WOMAN) Operator.
- Put me through to a Hyde number.
It's Hyde 261 2.
- Connecting.
- (CLlCKlNG)
(MAN) Hello?
- Who is this?
- Sam?
Sam, is that you?
You've been making calls to my phone.
Don't call here again, Sam.
What?
You know the rules.
- What rules?
- I call you.
- Who are you?
- (CLlCK)
So what's these
staff appraisals, then?
More of your
Age of Aquarius bollocks?
I could do an appraisal on you,
if you like.
Hey, if there's any appraising
to be done, I'll be the one to do it.
You don't even understand
the concept of it.
How about, "doesn't obey me orders,
goes off on his own whim"?
No, that's not how it works.
I know. I just felt like saying it.
So what about the money?
It'll be confiscated.
Harry'll lose his pension.
(MUSlC: ELTON JOHN'S
"GOODBYE YELLOW BRlCK ROAD")
So he's going to die penniless
and alone.
No. I won't let that happen.
- Do you want my appraisal of you?
- No.
It's your round, then.
(SNORTS)
Thank you.
# Ah
# Ah
# So goodbye, yellow brick road
# Where the dogs of society howl
# You can't plant me
in your penthouse
# I'm going back to my plough
# Back to the howlin' old owl
in the woods
# Hunting the horny-back toad
# Oh, I finally decided
my future lies
# Beyond the yellow brick road
# Ah... #
Enough of the blarney! We're pulling
you all in for questioning!
This hasn't got owt to do
with that lRA bomb?
You the monkey or the organ grinder?
Who's making the calls? Planting
the bombs? I want names. Now!
Phyllis, it might be an idea
if they go through all the O's
in the phone book.
Hey, while we're at it,
why don't we pull in that
well-known terrorist suspect Dana?
How about Val Doonican?
Bit sick, in't he?
Planting a bomb near a school.
He needed to know
we'd take his threat seriously.
(SAM) You're condemning a man
before he's even been tried!
- Because I know he's guilty!
- And what if he's innocent?