Life Unexpected (2010–2011): Season 2, Episode 8 - Plumber Cracked - full transcript

Previously on Life Unexpected...

You don't have to be alone.

There's plenty of guys who
would date you for real.

You seem to forget I'm your boss.

There's something called
independent living.

I'm gonna have my own place?

We're going to find you
an apartment nearby.

I can't believe you guys
would do that for me.

So, um, Julia's your ex?

Yes, Julia and I dated.

According to Paige, she was the



love of your life,
which is a pretty big thing

- to never mention in three years.
- When you and I broke up,

Julia and I slept together.

Julia came to me

and she said that she
thought she was pregnant.

What if she had been pregnant?

Would you call off the wedding?

I don't know.

Baze told me everything, Cate.

He said you were afraid that
you were in love with him?

No. I put those feelings to bed
the second that I said, "I do."

What would you have done?

Not now, but then, if he had
told you that he loved you?

I don't know.



I see you've met Mr. Daniels.

You're a...? Teacher.

I won't let you go.

Check out the desperate housewife.

Hey, Paige, what's up?

I'm just, uh...

Doing laundry. Bummer.

My solution is to wear

as little clothing as possible.

Hey, is Ryan here?

He keeps bugging me

to talk to him about careers

and getting a job.

No. He went on a jog,
and then we have this thing.

Ooh, couple's therapy... Yeah,
he told me.

Yeah, it's just to work

through some trust issues,
you know. Mm-hmm.

Is that why

you're snooping through his phone?

This Julia thing is just

- driving me nuts.
- Well, cell phone's a good start,

but I'd check the
glove compartment

of his car... The go-to place

for the stashing of panties.

I'm not looking for panties.

I just want to know what happened

between my husband and some
woman that I know nothing about.

You know, when it happened,
where...

How many times?

Yeah.

How long were he and
Julia even dating?

Nice try.

Yeah, see, I'm not
going to tell Ryan

about the cell phone,

but I'm not going to
sell him out either.

Look, if you want the dirt,
ask him yourself.

Maybe we should,
uh... get back to the office

before people notice that
we both took a long lunch.

You don't have to
worry because I, uh...

'Cause I blocked off extra time

on the calendar for
employee relations.

Get it? Employee relations?

I get it.

Oh! Ow! Oh!

You okay?

Yeah. Sorry.

Look at this.

I got Lux's new basketball shoes.

Wait till you have a kid.

You'll get it. Stuff everywhere.

Of course, you'll
probably be a lot better

parent than I am, of course.
We're kind of on a clock here.

Right. Sorry.

Oh, great.

Hello.

Oh.

That's okay. No, um...

I'll be there right away. Mm-hmm.

Uh, a pipe burst in my kitchen.

I should, uh...

Go.

Do you... do you want some help?

No. I got it. Really it's, um...

It's why I pay a
maintenance fee, you know.

It covers everything.

Well, um, so are we...
Are we still on for our date tonight?

Ah, you're here.

Finally. Sorry. We had to go

to, like, three different stores
to find the good peanut butter.

You're in a new place.

I just want you to feel
at home here, you know,

and have everything you need.

And the place... looks great.

Ah, check it!

You got me cereal

with a decoder ring.
You rock, Cate.

I also got you this.

It's uh, it's linked to my account

for emergencies and
food and whatever.

Cate, you've already
done so much for me.

You got me this apartment,
the furniture.

Thank you.

Thank you!

I promise I won't go crazy,

and, like, buy a car
or bad peanut butter.

All right, well,

I'm just going to hang
out here, I think.

Tasha and I, we have
some homework to do.

Yeah, we gots us a
big test coming up.

All right, just call me when
you need to get picked up.

Thanks, Cate.

Bye.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I... I tried to get her

to stay in the car, but...

Hi.

Uh, next time you decide

to have an illicit
affair with a student,

I'd say ditch the roommates
and get your own apartment.

So what do you want to do today?

Oh, maybe hang out there?

Ooh, how about over there?

Maybe right here.

I know our options
are kind of limited.

Limited?

We can't go for coffee,
we can't go to the movies,

we can't even walk down
the street together.

I know, it sucks. I'm sorry.

No, it's not your fault.

You're Minnesota. I'm Eeyore.

We are who we are.

Hey, what if we don't have to be?

What are you doing Saturday?

Can you keep it free... all day?

- Why?
- 'Cause you and I

are going on a date.

A healthy relationship
can't be built on lies.

And clearly that's been a
problem for the both of you.

Ryan, you lied about Julia.

Cate, you lied about Baze.

Twice. She lied about Baze twice.

And about wanting a baby.

Yeah. Not really cool to
keep score in therapy.

When was the last
time that you lied?

Or withheld something
from the other?

Last night. This morning.

Couples often lie,

thinking that they're
protecting the relationship.

But little lies grow
into bigger lies,

creating a pattern of dishonesty.

So I want you to try

an exercise.

Until the next time you see me,

I want you to be completely
honest with each other

about everything.

Are we talking you-look-
fat-in-those-pants honest,

or I-hate-this-marriage honest?

I don't.

I mean about all of it.

Do you think you can do that?

- Yeah.
- Sure.

- Absolutely.
- Yeah.

Cobra team! Man down!

Prepare the vital fluids!

Look what the cat dragged in.

Jamie, my man. How did you

get your mom to let
you out of the house?

Finished his chore chart
and got a gold star.

She's visiting my
aunt for the weekend,

so I'm free to hang
out with you morons.

Starting with half-price nachos.

Peel off that monkey suit

and join us.

I can't.

Emma and I are supposed
to go out for tapas.

So I'm going to pretend

for the sake of your own manhood

that you just said topless.

Then again, you know what,

she did just have this whole
pipe situation, so let me just...

Let me give her a
call and we'll see.

He's been like this for weeks.

It's called a relationship.

There's a give and a take.

So what's next?

She going to give you
her purse to hold

or take you shopping
for throw pillows?

Hello.

Um, yeah, I'm trying
to reach Emma Bradshaw.

She's in the shower.

Okay, can you tell
her that Baze called?

Stop it.

*

So... Astoria.

Did you bring me here

so I could eat my weight
in saltwater Taffy?

No. I brought you here
so we could do this.

We can do everything
we can't do at home.

Hold hands, see a movie...

Ride a tandem bike
around the island.

Okay, not that.

We could have coffee, hmm?

Yeah. Right.

Oh, no.

What?

My wallet.

It must have fallen out.

Baze. Um, what are you doing here?

Well, I called last night

and a guy answered.

So I left a message with the guy.

And I didn't hear anything back.

Maybe you're too busy

having a slumber party
with the plumber.

You know, you're right about
that maintenance fee...

- It covers everything.
- Wait.

You know what, if you want

to be seeing someone else,
that's awesome.

You just need to give
me a little heads up,

because I thought that we
were in a relationship.

Look, it's just more
complicated than I can explain

right now.

You and I...

We're not in a relationship.

You know, we sneak around,
we make out in cars...

And on buses.

Whatever. It hardly commits me

to telling you about everything
that goes on in my life

or-or makes it okay
that you show up here

like some jealous boyfriend.

I'm not jealous, okay?

And, apparently,
I'm not even a boyfriend.

I just need the facts.

So if you want to be
dating other people,

fine, but I can date
other people, too.

Lots of other people,
dozens of people,

thousands of people.

Then you should do that.

I'm not stopping you.

Hey.

Hey.

I...

If you were going to the market,

I would've had you pick
up something for dinner.

Oh, sorry.

I-I told Paige we'd do something.

Are you avoiding
this honesty thing?

Honestly?

Yeah. Are you?

I just ran ten miles,

eight of them around
the same block.

This shouldn't be so hard.

It's not like we've
never been honest

with each other, right? I know.

You shouldn't be

having dinner with your
sister to avoid me.

Why don't you just
reschedule with Paige,

and you and I...
We can have dinner and talk.

You know, I'll make that
Pesto pasta thing you like.

Okay, well, if we're being honest,

I, um, I hate that
Pesto pasta thing.

All right, well,
in the spirit of being honest,

I hate that shirt on you.

It makes you look busty.

Maybe you should
borrow it sometime.

Ryan, I want to know about Julia.

I already told you.

No, I'm not just talking
about our wedding day.

I want to know how you two met,
how long you dated,

and how it ended.

Look, Cate, you know
everything that matters.

I mean, giving you
a bunch of details

about a relationship
that's in the past...

It's not going to
help us move forward.

Just...

Look, I'll be with Paige.

All right, all I have is $12,
a coupon for free yogurt

and our ferry tickets home.

Ah, I know, this sucks.

You know, I just
wanted us to have fun

and not have to worry
about anything.

We can.

Tasha and I used to
do this all the time.

These things always
have too much food

and they don't know
half the guests anyways.

We came to this town so we
didn't have to be us, right?

Yeah.

Let's have fun with it.

I'll be Sara, the bride's
very distant cousin

from Cleveland, like, way distant.

And-and you can be John.

You know the groom from, uh...

Summer camp. Perfect.

You like arm wrestling
and-and cabins

and pontoon boats. Pontoon boats?

What? I never went to summer camp.

Because Sara spent her
summers practicing the cello.

Hmm.

Yo. Hey, you guys know

your front door is
propped open, right?

Pizza guy's coming.

W-what the...

Mamma Mia!

Every time someone sings,

we got to chug.

Grab a can.

Pierce Brosnan has
a number coming up.

What's...

Baze's girlfriend found

another guy to hold her purse.

Thought we had a connection.

Dude, by the time we hit
"dancing queen,"

you'll be too hammered to
remember what's-her-name's name.

Emma.

Wow.

Well, I'm starting to feel

real good about my life.

Guys...

It's Saturday night,

you're watching a musical.

You're a bunch of single dudes;

you should be tearing it up.

'Cause I'm telling you,
before you know it,

you're gonna be eating
bad Pesto pasta dinners

and sitting in couples therapy.

And you...

You have been going out
with Emma for, like, what,

two weeks? You're gonna
let her ruin your weekend?

Come on, man!

Get off your asses! Let's have a,

let's have a balls-to-the-wall
guys' night.

Whoa, what about balls?

I thought we were going to dinner.

Eh, look, dinner's off.

I need a break from all the
yapping and honesty exercises.

And plumbers.

Exactly, Baze.

Come on, get up.

Seriously, let's...

Listen, I want you,
tonight, just to

forget about women.

'Cause tonight,

we're getting back to our roots.

Tonight, we are beer-drinking,

knuckle-dragging,
hairy-backed men.

Tonight is

guys' night!

Yeah!

Hey, just get out of here.

No chicks allowed.

No chicks, not on guys' night!

Hey.

Hey. You owe me a steak.

Ryan dumped me to have
guys' night with Baze.

He said he needed a break.

Something about women
being emotional

and yappy.

Yappy? No, I was not being yappy.

Our therapist said that
we should be honest.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's why you're hacking

into his e-mail?

You know what,
if I knew Julia's last name,

I would just Google-stalk her,
like a normal person.

I will give you $100

if you tell me everything
you know about her.

Mm-mm. No, no.

I told you,
I'm not getting involved.

Look, Ryan could be into
midget transvestite hookers,

and you wouldn't hear it from me.

You're right.

It is not fair to put
you in that position.

Thank you.

We should go out.

We should go out,
we should have a few drinks

and just, you know,
get to know each other better.

Why? You hate me.

Uh, no, I don't hate you.

I just don't really know you
well enough to like you.

Oh, come on.

Drinks on me.

Fine.

If you're buying, I'm consuming.

Well, then I'm buying.

Yeah, me, too!

You sure it's your speed?

They don't serve cougar juice.

Huh? That chardonnay
crap that you drink.

Oh.

Excuse me. Hi.

Um, can we get, uh,

two shots,
please? Something strong.

Okay.

Here's to sisterhood, honesty,

and, uh,

people's sisters being honest.

Get your drink on!

Drink! Drink! Drink!

Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!

Oh!

Ah, no worries.

I got a stain stick.

A stain stick?

It's guys' night, Nancy.

Exactly.

Men don't say sorry
for spilling beer.

Men don't apologize for anything.

True. Just like you
never apologized

for bumping uglies with Cate.

Too far?

I am sorry about that.

I-I owe you one.

Eh, I'm past it.

Which is another great
thing about men.

They move past stuff.

They don't feel the need to

dwell on details.

Right on, man.

'Cause, you know, I don't,

I don't need to know

who this guy is that Emma's dating

or how they met.

I mean...

Do you think it was
the camping trip?

'Cause there was that one
chaperone with the man boobs.

Stop. Look,

you don't need to
know this stuff, okay?

'Cause, I mean,
it's just gonna put

stuff in your head that
doesn't help anyone.

Besides, tonight is about men.

There is no Cate and no Emma.

Hello.

Sorry to bother you

on guys' night,
but we have a situation.

Okay, so Cate tried to booze me up

to talk about Julia,
but seeing as how I have

the tolerance of a linebacker,
it kind of backfired,

and I have a feeling

she's a sloppy drunk, which isn't

gonna work with my puke phobia.

Is it hot in here or is it me?!

It's me!

Wild bar.

You might want to get down here.

Hey.

Maybe we should go out.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Let me go change.

Why did you say

that you were an olympic skater?

'Cause how often do you get to
be an olympic level ice skater?

I-I still can't believe you
told the father of the bride

that we have a wolfhound.

No, it makes sense
that we have a dog,

since we met at a dog park.

Yes, but I only
pretended to have a dog

so that I could meet you.

Today was amazing.

I'm sorry our date has to end.

Uh, please tell me that
that's not the water taxi.

Sorry, kid.

Looks like you missed it.

No, no, no!

Wait! Wait!

Wait!

Listen, sir,
we need to be on that boat.

Okay, when is the next one?

Tomorrow morning.

Eaea please, Tasha.

Look, I need you to give

your credit card
number to the hotel.

They said if you can vouch for
us and give them your info,

then they'll let us stay.

Lux, that credit card
is for emergencies,

not so you can hook
up with your teacher.

What if Cate sees the charge?

As soon as we get back,

Eric can move the
charge to his card.

And I-I already called
Cate and told her

that I was crashing at your place,

so she'll never know, I-I swear.

She better not.

Thank you.

Yes! This is what
I am talking about.

Guys' night. Do you smell that?

It is the smell of sweat,
of freedom...

Boom... of possibilities.

Did my bar smell like this?

You mean like urine
with a hint of beer?

Your place didn't draw the crowd

to brew this scent.

Forget the smell.

Check out the talent.

I see a lot of thongs
and lower back tattoos.

I-I... I like our chances.

I'm uncomfortable.

Don't... don't these women
have any self-respect?

All right, she's a deep
innie and she's drunk.

Who's up for a challenge?

Cate?

Cate's here? Come on.

What happened to guys' night?

What always happens
with guys' night.

Girls ruin it.

Hey.

You mind?

- Get up. Get up. What? What?
- Come on.

Come on.

Let's get you home before
you do something you regret.

You know, Ryan, I've already
done things I regret,

and I have told you about them.

And with whom I have done them.

Whom.

Whom, you know.

All right, yeah, I get it.
I get it.

You know, your nbf,
the guy that you go camping with

and you... you...
You drink beers with, right,

without all the yap-yap.

Cate, let's go home.

Come on. No. Listen,
if you don't tell me

about Julia...

I'm just going to go on to plan b,

which is going on

a jag of humiliation
and self-destruction

until you do.

This is really, really wrong.

We're not doing anything

other than breathing
and not moving.

Except spending the night together

in a hotel under assumed names.

There's that.

Lux, I don't want
to be hot and cold,

so, uh, don't think
that's what I'm doing.

Eric...

No.

As a guy that likes you

and wants to spend every
minute I can with you,

missing that ferry was
the greatest thing

that could happen.

But as the guy who's
supposed to be responsible,

who's supposed to be
looking out for you...

Lux, I'm your teacher.

We can't pretend
to be other people

and lie to your parents,
lie to ourselves

and escape to an island every weekend,
just to be together.

We don't have a future together.

We're not John and Sara.

At the end of the day,
we're still ourselves.

I know.

Do you?

Think about it, Lux.

Is this really ever going
to be enough for you?

'Cause the last person's heart
I want to break is yours.

You.

What?

Guys' night.

You tell me to forget about Emma,

and you drag us down
here to chase down Cate?

Yeah, well, it's different.

I can't forget about Cate.
I married her.

Well, you know,

I can't forget about Emma, either.

You know what?

I think that maybe
being beer-drinking,

hairy-backed knuckle draggers
wasn't the best idea.

I don't want a guys' night.

I don't want to be at wild bar.

I want to know what the
hell is going on with Emma.

I mean, if she never
wants to see me again,

if she thinks the whole
thing is a big joke

because she thinks...
She thinks that I'm a big joke,

I just want to know the truth.

It's just going to
make it worse, man.

I'm telling you.

I can't feel any worse than I do.

And I bet the same
thing goes for Cate.

She can't feel any worse
than she does right now.

Come here.

I'm drunk, I just lost
my bra in strip pool,

and now you want to talk?

That's great.

Julia and I worked together.

That's how we met.

We started dating.

I moved in.

Three years later, I moved out.

Three years?

You lived with her
for three years?

Well, why did it end?

Because I proposed
and she said no.

She said she didn't
believe in marriage.

Maybe she didn't believe
in marriage to me.

She didn't want to marry you,

so you... you, what?

You just...

You settled for me?

No.

No, Cate, that's... that's not it.

I mean, her ending it...

That's... that's
what led me to you.

Are you over her?

Yeah. I mean, I moved on.
I married you.

I chose you.

That's not what I asked you.

What I asked you

is if you are 100%
completely over her.

No.

Look, Cate, yes, I-I...

I have feelings for Julia,

but how is that
different than Baze?

I mean, you went to him the
night before our wedding.

But you chose me.

You and Julia... That is
not the same thing, okay?

Because I told you about Baze.

That is the difference.

No, the difference is,

I could deal with it.

I've been dealing with it.

That's the reason I wasn't honest.

'Cause I knew you
couldn't handle it.

Cate, where are you going?

Getting a cab.

Come on. I'll go with you.

No! I am going home alone!

Emma!

Hey, Emma!

I need to talk to you.

Look, I know that you
think this relationship

is just fun and sex in cars
and buses, but it's not.

Not to me.

I care about you,
and I want to be with you,

and I don't want you to
be with any other guys.

And I don't know who
this other dude is,

but... but...

But...

But I want you to know that...

What?

Oh, crap.

There is no other dude.

This is my son Sam.

You need to leave now.

What?

A hotel room charge?

No, no. That's not right.

I got that credit card
for a 16-year-old.

Oh, crap.

Can you walk any faster?

I'm sorry,

but these damn pants are
cutting off my circulation.

Geez, how small are you?

Are you seriously giving
me attitude right now?

I just ran to the
dock to save your ass,

so I wouldn't bitch if I were you.

Okay.

Well,

good morning, kiddos.

Hey. Y.Hey.

Hey. So, uh, you're lying

and sneaking around
behind my back?

Where have you been?

We just went to go get some food.

No, no, no. I mean last night.

You know, the credit card
company called, and apparently,

there was a hotel room
charge last night in Astoria.

One of you better start
talking right now.

Uh...

"Uh..."

Um...

Uh, get in the car. Let's go.

What? What?

Let's go. Where are we going?

We're going to go to the hotel.

If you can't remember
who you were with,

maybe someone at the hotel does.

Tasha, get in the car.

Seriously, what are we doing?

We're going to go to Astoria.

Look, I-I hoped that you had
a better plan than that.

Look, if Cate and Baze
find out that Eric and I

were in a hotel last night...

Yeah, so what?

You'll just find
another boyfriend.

Tash, he could lose his job.
Or worse.

Okay, I don't really care about Mr.
Daniels, Lux.

Okay, well... what about me?

Do you care about me?

I've never felt this way before.

Not in my entire life.

Don't mess this up for me, Tash.

Please.

What the hell am I
supposed to say?

Okay. All right. All right.

We stay calm, united front.

We drive to the docks,
and we hope that one of them cracks

before we get there.

Okay.

Okay, you guys, we're serious.

I'm going to start this car.

I... I am starting this car

in three seconds.

One...

Two...

Three. All right.

Uh... okay, wait.

Wait.

I ran into this guy
we used to know,

and he told me about this
rave thing in Astoria.

I wanted to go.

Lux didn't,
but she covered for me.

And I actually
stayed at that hotel.

Do you have any idea
how stupid that is?

It's really stupid.

- Sorry.
- Yeah, me, too.

You're gonna have to give
me that credit card back.

And we are gonna have to
figure out a different way

with some new rules.

I swear, you don't
have to worry about me.

Um, yeah, I do...

Okay? So there's gonna be no more

going over to Jones's house.

What?! No more basketball. What?

Yeah, and from now on,
you'll be coming home

every day after school because,
apparently,

I cannot trust you the
way I thought I could.

Okay, Cate...

Lux.

You messed up big-time.

I really hope that
it was worth it.

Yeah, me, too.

Wanted an emergency I
think meeting on a Sunday.

Presumably it wasn't so we would
all sit in silence for the hour.

Your honesty exercise sucked.

That's because she turned
it into an inquisition.

She wouldn't let up until
I told her about Julia.

Yeah, how he wanted to marry her,

how he's not even really over her.

Okay, yeah, it's not that simple.

It's interesting... Julia and
Cate share similar qualities.

Julia didn't want to marry you.

Cate gave you plenty of signals

that she didn't
want to get married.

Uh, yeah, she hit
me when I proposed.

Oh, and she slept
with someone else.

So why did you push so hard

to get Cate to marry you?

Why didn't you just
take no for an answer

like you did with Julia?

I pushed to marry Cate
because I, I loved her.

I didn't want to lose her.

That's your honest answer?

Maybe I, uh,

maybe I kind of pushed her to...

To say yes.

To feel better...
To get over Julia saying no.

All I'm saying is

maybe I rushed you.

I rushed us.

For whatever screwed-up
reasons I had.

Well, that makes me
feel really good.

Cate...

Cate, this is a good thing,

I promise you.

Figuring out why you both
chose to do what you did

will allow the relationship
to move forward.

How about you?

You spent your whole life saying
you didn't want to get married.

Why did you agree to marry Ryan?

I don't know. Um...

You're asking me
all these questions

and I don't even really have
the space to figure them out.

You know, I mean,

we live together and
we work together and...

Would you both consider
a little time apart?

What? No, no.

Like a separation?

Ryan,

if you could find
someplace else to stay,

just for a little while,

it might give Cate the
emotional space she needs.

Math let me in.

Should we talk?

How could you not say anything

about having a kid?

Um...

Sam hasn't lived with
me since he was 11.

Ugh, he was getting into
trouble at school...

Well, you know, I just
didn't know what else to do,

so, you know, when he asked,

I said he could go live
with his dad, my ex.

But you know, his dad really
wasn't much of a dad, so...

We, uh, sent him off
to boarding school,

and, uh, he got arrested
for selling pot,

and then we sent him off
to some 30-day rehab place,

but he got kicked
out of there, too.

And, um...

His dad dropped him off at
my doorstep yesterday...

Out of the blue.

Okay.

You know, the whole
kid/doorstep thing...

I get. Been there.

That I could live with.

You and another dude,

now that's... you know, I can't,

I can't deal with that.

But I'm... I'm serious
about you, about us.

Me, too.

So do you have any more
secrets to tell me?

Anything else you want
to get off your chest?

I think I'm falling
in love with you.

I think I am, too.

With you, not me,

'cause that would be weird,
you know?

Falling in love with myself.

Right. I think a
little less talking,

a little more employee relations.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's not like I have
anything else to lose.

Tasha...

She's upset.

Yeah.

I mean...

...She's risking a lot for us...

And we are, too.

Eric...

For me, it's worth it.

Beyond worth it.

I thought about
what you asked me...

If this was enough for me.

And I know that we don't
have islands and weddings

and we aren't John and Sara.

But I don't care about the future.

That's the thing about me.

All my life I-I could
never count on the future

because I was too busy
trying to keep what I had

in the present from disappearing.

I don't want you to go anywhere.

'Cause what I have
right now is you.

What I want right now...

Is you.

Ryan.

You still owe me one.