Lexx (1997–2002): Season 3, Episode 13 - Heaven and Hell - full transcript

Lexx 3.13 Heaven and Hell

I'm going to wet myself,
with tears of joy. There he is!

Kiss me Kai.

I'll never wash that spot.

On a branch, there is a fruit,

Plump and ripe for sucking

In a moth, there is a Kai,

Cold but right for -

Give him a break, 790!

I can't help it! I'm obsessed by my man!

Thank you, 790, but that is enough.



Nice to see you again Kai.

Thank you Xev.

We knew you didn't float, and we were really
worried that we would never find you again.

That you would be sunk down
inside the planet forever.

Did you find Stan's body?

We took it back to the Lexx and tried
to use the protein regenerator on it.

But it was all a big waste of time.
The dead stay dead.

But one of the dead can pump some life
into me anytime. Grr!

Can the Lexx fly now?

A short way only.

He says the balloons he ate were just a snack

and he's still weak, so he
probably has to eat a lot more.

I have the key.

Kai?



What?

Is there anything we can do?

About what?

About Stanley.

We can forget about him.

He is dead.

So are you, but it hasn't been the end for you.
Does it mean it has to be the end for him?

Underwater I saw countless shapes,

I think -they are the life essences of people
who have died, and who will live again.

Why do you think that?

In the centre of the planet there is a brightness.

I sank into this brightness and then -
I woke up again, on Gametown.

What do you mean, you woke up?

I don't know exactly, but people here say,

they are not born, but that they wake up.
I think I experienced such a process.

Everyone who wakes up here has lived and died
before. I believe it is a continuous cycle.

Hmm. If you woke up, are you alive now?

No, I am still dead. But -

But what?

I saw the living part of me deep inside this planet,
waiting for his turn to wake up, and live again.

So should we try to find him? I mean you. Him

I think - my living shape will have
no knowledge of his former self,

and that he will wake up
somewhere here, and lead a happy life.

That is a good outcome.

But if you want to, we can -

No, it's fine. It is a good outcome.
Why should we want to change it?

What about Stanley?

He is not here, inside this planet.

Why not?

Water, seems to be the afterlife for the virtuous.
Stanley did not always make virtuous choices.

I suspect he has gone to Fire.

Then we are going to Fire.

What for?

To get Stanley.

Prince, we have -

Visitors. I've been expecting them.

What shall we do?

We shall entertain them.

It's Prince, looking good as new .

What do you think?

I think, that to land here is to risk your life,

but I also think that Prince is the most capable
of answering your questions about Stanley.

We're landing.

Looks familiar.

Of course.

So Xev - have you come for another kiss?
You seemed to enjoy it last time.

Which time? Before you died, or after
you died, or when you came back as Kai?

Oh, I don't know, any of them.
All of them. Whatever.

We have come to find Stanley Tweedle.

He's dead.

How do you know that?

We have recovered his body. It is fully
functional, but he is not alive.

He is not alive, because he is dead.

We have learned that these two planets seem to be

a type a repository for the part of a human which
is its life essence, outside of the physical body.

That's very good.

And we think that Stanley's life essence
is here, and we want it back.

Very good again. Stanley's life essence
is here - but you can't have it back.

- Why not?
- Because I have it.

- Well, then give it to us.
- No.

Kai.

I have lived and died many times.
Physical threat has no meaning to me.

If you kill me I will instantly live again
as whoever I want, wherever I choose.

But only here.

Correct. That is my only limitation - for now.

Why do you have Stanley?

Because Stanley did not live
a good and perfect life.

Where is he?

Stanley Tweedle

is waiting his turn for punishment.

Your visit here intrigues me.

Clearly your bug cannot fly,
or you would have left.

I expect that you've come to negotiate a deal.

The heat there is enough to instantly
incinerate living flesh.

That won't stop Kai.

I suspect that you're right.

I am.

This has never happened before.
You're the first.

First what?

The first people to come here
still living their original lives.

This has been a most interesting time. A most
unsettling time. A time of great - possibility.

And now it's time for me to die.

Thank you.

Where's Stanley Tweedle?

Here. Would you like to see him?

Yes, I would.

Then come with me.

Where is our prince?

I am your prince.

You can leave now.

In a moth, there is a head,

whose man is cold and dead.

And all that head can ever do,

is dream of him in bed.

Oh, I suffer so! It hurts.
It hurts so bad to love a dead man!

Being dead, I do not care about things,
but I do - think about them.

And what do you think about?

I try to understand the difference
between the living and myself.

Well, you're not living. You're a chemical
machine, for lack of a better term.

Would you like to be alive again?

I do not have likes.

There you go!

In a moth there is a head,

yet no-one seems to care!

I'm in love with a man who's dead!
I want to - suck his hair!

No - stroke his hair.

Touch his hair? Caress his hair?
Comb? Comb his hair! Yes, that works!

Please, take me to Kai! Do it now!

It's too hot, 790. You would melt.

I'm already melting - with loneliness!

There they are, and there they wait.

Who?

Those who made bad choices
when they were still alive.

And what are they waiting for?

Their turn to suffer.

There never used to be so many,

but there are so many people now
making so many bad choices

in so many places that it's getting
rather crowded down here,

and so they have to wait.

Of course, they're not conscious
of the wait. For them it is just an instant.

They suffer, and they die,
and then they awaken,

and the suffering
goes on as if it had never stopped.

And what will happen to Stanley Tweedle?

Stanley's punishment is level 9.

He will man the bellows there until
his arms and legs give out,

and then he will lose his head.

This he will do, over and over.

And for how long?

For the rest of time.

And when time ends?

Then time will begin again,
and Stanley will return to me.

There.

I have come here to rescue Stanley.

Go ahead. Rescue him. Take him with you.

How can I do that?

You can't.

Can you?

No. Stanley's fate is sealed.

He will suffer here for all time,
and that is that.

I must return to Xev.

Not possible.

Why not?

Because no-one ever returns from here.

This is the endof their journey
- the last stop.

Nothing comes after it
and there is no way back.

And you can return?

Of course! I am Prince.

I am here with you, and yet at
the same time I'm there with Xev.

But you will keep me company here,
forever. Come.

Prince.

Xev..

Now that we're rid of the dead man we can
finally begin to solve the problem.

What problem?

The only one that matters - to me, anyway.

How to destroy Water.

I advise you to surrender.

The situation is distinctly in my favour.

Now let me think.

Stanley is dead.

Kai is gone.

And there is only one key to the Lexx.
I wonder who could have it?

Oh, they're very good with knives.
You would never make it.

So what's the deal?

I will be king, you will be queen.

Or perhaps, you'll be my slave.
It's the same thing really.

I'm not a human being.

Then what are you?

I'm half human, and half Cluster lizard.

Tell me more about this Cluster lizard.

A very nasty thing.

It eats human flesh.
It prefers the brain especially.

It's a predator, without feelings.

Am I supposed to be afraid?

No. You're supposed to understand.

What?

Why I'm happy to accept your deal -
under the right conditions.

You bring out something in me that
doesn't always find proper expression.

I think that there's a possibility that
you will be a very good queen.

I will be a very good queen.

But not your slave.

I cannot release Stanley Tweedle,

but I can move him to the head of the line.

I do have some influence here.

There.

Where am I?

Ah! Who are you? Ah!

No! Gee, guys, take it easy, that hurts.

I'm not liking this.

I'm not liking this one bit.

I'm not liking this one bit

Oh, no, no.

Hey guys, I don't wanna do this!

Guys, we can talk about this.

Guys, what did I do to deserve this?

Hey guys, come back!

Where is Stanley Tweedle now?

He's on level 9.

Where?

In my city. It's reserved for the worst cases.

What is he doing there?

Suffering.

Somebody, somewhere!
I can't hold out much longer.

I can't keep it up forever!

Someone help me!

Listen.

Someone help me!

I will try to help you Stanley!

He can't hear you.
And you can't help him.

There's nothing you can do.

Gotta keep pumping.

Gotta keep pumping!

Gotta, gotta keep pumping.

Gotta keep pumping.

If I am a machine, and Stanley is an
essence meant to suffer forever,

then what are you?

I do not know.

How is it that you do not know?

Because no-one has ever asked
me that question before,

and so I've never thought
about the answer.

Where did you come from?

I do not know that either.

I do not know when time began,

but I think I have been here
from the beginning.

My existence is simple.

I make sure that those who
make bad choices suffer -

nothing more. At least,
until you came along.

What do you want?

What do you mean?

I mean, what is it that you want?

You have tried to destroy
both Fire and Water,

and yet you say you
want to rule both of them.

I want to destroy the planet Water.
Everything else is just a game.

Why do you want to destroy Water?

Because it is full of good,
and I am full of bad.

I think that's all there is to it.
I'm not very complicated, really.

Has our presence on these planets
been a good thing, or a bad thing?

Well, a good thing for me
is a bad thing for others,

of course, but the truth is,
I don't know.

The issue is not yet resolved.

But if you and I are to remain here
forever,

and if Stanley is to suffer for the rest of time,

what can possibly
happen now to resolve the issue?

Xev. She holds the future
of Fire and Water.

Without her everything
would go on forever, as before.

We would defeat the people of the planet Water
on every battle that we fought,

but then we would fight among ourselves

and we would undermine our victory.

We would never lose -
and yet, we would never win.

Where is Xev now? Do you know?

Yes. She's come over to me.

Are you certain?

No.

Kneel before me.

Strangle him.

Why?

Because I want to watch you do it.

I want to see you eat his brain.
I want to see if you can be my queen.

If she hesitates, kill her.

I'm waiting.

Good, Xev. Very good.

And you will be mine!

I'm disappointed in you Xev.

I'm sorry, Prince. I did not want to die.

Where's Kai?

Gone.

We can't leave without him!

He's not there anymore, 790,
he's somewhere inside the planet.

How about a kiss, Xev?

Ah! What was that?

Prince!

Does he know where Kai is?

Yes.

Can I talk to him then?

I knew you weren't really going
to strangle him Xev.

How?

You're just not my type. I could tell.

Tell me where Kai is.

Inside the planet Fire.

Then we have to go in there and get him.

You can't.

Xev, go inside the planet and get him!

I can't, 790. Kai is dead, that's why
he could go inside the planet.

I would burn up if I tried to go into it.

She's right.

He's stuck there forever, with me.

Then blow up Fire. Blow the planet up!

Don't do that!

Why not?

You don't want to upset the balance.

What balance?

Everything.

You don't want to be responsible
for that. Just give up, Xev,

and then when you're dead,
in a minute or two,

you'll be able to live a happy life forever
and ever on the planet Water.

Until you destroy it. 1234

Well, I've never managed to do that so far, and
I never will - unless you upset the balance.

Don't listen to him Xev! We have to save Kai,
we have to blow up the planet. Kai will survive!

So, Xev - is there a deal?

Yes,

But not with you!

We could be friends, you know - but only
if you agree to give up the dead man.

That's not the deal, 790.

Look - he's back already. He didn't last long at all.
Still, he'll get another turn. And another, and another.

I think - you enjoy your job .

I'm very good with pain.

How long, Lexx?

1 minute, 18 seconds.

Don't think about it Xev, just do it.

I have to think about it.

Kai's inside the planet and can't get out.
What else do you need to know?

I think the planet is an evil place but I still
don't know. That stuff Prince was saying about
upsetting the balance -

If it's evil, destroy it.

That makes sense, but something
is holding me back. How long Lexx?

40 seconds.

There is something different about Fire and Water.
It's not going to be like blowing up a normal planet.

I know what it is.

What?

You're a woman.

So?

So, I know how you feel about things.

I know you don't want to believe me,
but I am a woman too.

Deep inside I can feel the femininity,
the softness, the need to nurture.

I know how difficult this is for you, but -

But what?

Kai comes first!
Oh!

I am now aimed at the planet Fire.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Now Xev, blow it up now! Put aside
your feelings. Only the dead man matters!

But it's a whole planet!

It's an evil place!

I can't.

You can!

No, I can't.

What was that?

The Cluster lizard in me,
my more aggressive side.

Lexx - blow up planet Fire, blow it up now!

As you command.

What have I done, 790?

The right thing.

What's that?

The end of your planet - and of you.

I think I should be sad, but I'm not.

Good job Xev.

And today's lesson is always ignore your
feelings and listen to the robot head.

Thank you, for releasing me.

Quick Xev - find Kai!

Lexx - you heard him. Find Kai.

You heard him Lexx - find Kai.

We think he's out there somewhere.
Let us see closer.

I have something to do first.

What?

I have a planet to destroy.

No.

No!

Lexx, why don't you answer me?

Lexx, what are you doing?

Not Lexx, Prince. And as I said, I have
a planet to destroy - and there it is.

Lexx - do not destroy that planet.

Balance, Xev, balance. You upset it,
and I'm restoring it, in my special way.

Don't do it, Lexx. Don't do it!

He's not listening. I'm in charge now.

No!

Oh - and thank you, Xev. It has taken
far too long, but this little conflict
between Fire and Water is finally over.

Lexx?

Yes, captain?

Lexx, is that you?

Yes it is me, captain.
What planet would you like me destroy?

None, right now.

Do you know what happened to Prince?

Who is Prince?

The one who was just in control of you.
The one who had you destroy the planet Water.

I don't remember anyone else
in control of me. You are my captain.

You don't remember
the planet you just blew up?

There are no planets here.

That's right.

And I am very hungry.

We know that. And Lexx - we think Kai,
the dead man in black, is still out there somewhere.

Maybe you can help 790 search for him.

As you command, captain.

Oh, joy!

We didn't know - I mean, I wasn't sure if you
would survive when we blew up the planet.

I did not survive, as I am already dead,
but - I was not destroyed.

Then I'm glad you were not destroyed.

Oh, joy to the maximum calculable
number squared!

Hello, 790.

Where are you going?

To wake up Stanley.

But he's dead!

Kai. Xev. Oh, I was having
a terrible terrible dream.

You were not dreaming.

Well, no, I, see, I thought I was, um -

What?

Well, um - at first I was falling with you,
and then I was swimming, and then, er -

I don't remember.

Now I'm here - with my friends.

Welcome back, Stanley.
Welcome back to life, with your friends

Back to life? What do you mean,
what happened to me?

You died.

I died?

Yes, Stanley Tweedle. You died and went down
into Fire. And now you're back alive.

Really?

Really.
Wow.

Lexx - are we moving?

Yes, we are moving.

But only very slowly.

I am still very hungry. If I eat
I will be able to go faster.

So can we make it somewhere or not?

Not!

There appear to be no other life bearing
planets in this system, and the next solar
system is seven light years away.

The Lexx will take a long time to make it
that far, unless he finds more food to eat.

Well, why don't we just go to another planet
in this system, and the Lexx can eat all he wants.

It must contain organic matter.

Which normally means it must be
a life bearing planet.

Well are you sure there's none around here?

None are visible.

Look. What's that?

Lexx, can we have a closer look
at that star beside that sun?

As you command, captain -
but that star is a planet.

Hmm. It's half covered with water,
so it should be a life-bearing planet.

How come we haven't seen it before?

It is in the same orbit as Fire and Water,
but opposite. It was not visible from where
they were, and they were not visible from it.

Interesting - so that means that there must be
a lot of organic material on that planet

so Xev, tell the Lexx to go there
and chow down.

Kai - all those shapes, those things
that came out of Fire, you saw them too right?

Yes I did.

What were they?

I believe they were the life essences
of all those who died and made bad choices -

people who were evil in life.

Didn't they go around that sun
to where the planet is?

Yes they did.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Well then,
you think we should be going there?

I do not see that you have any other choice
if you want to feed the Lexx.

I don't care where I go
as long as I'm with my man!

Well, here we go then. Lexx, head towards
the planet and there you can eat all you want.

Thank you, captain. Thank you very much.
I have a big appetite now and I will eat a lot.

OK, little blue planet. Here we come!

Oh joy, oh pain, oh joy, oh pain, oh joy, oh pain,

oh joy, oh pain, oh joy, oh pain, oh joy, oh pain!

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