Lexx (1996–2002): Season 1, Episode 1 - I Worship His Shadow - full transcript

I am Kai

last of the Brunnen G

Millennia ago,

the Brunnen G led humanity to victory
in the war against the insect civilisation.

The Time Prophet predicted

that I would be the one to destroy the Divine Order

and the League of 20,000 Planets

Someday, that will happen

- but not today.

As today is my day of death.

The day our story begins



Yo A O

Yo A O, Hom Var Ray

Yo A Ra, Jerum Brunnen G

Yo A O, Hom Var Ray

Yo A Ra, Jerum Brunnen G

Yo A O, Hom Var Ray

Yo A Ra, Jerum Brunnen G

Yo A Ra, Jerum Brunnen G

Stingers!

Stingers ready

Our one chance and our one chance
alone is to hit His Shadow's control pod

Good luck. Very, very good luck

ForeShadow in range

Fire now!



Crash into the control pod!

His Shadow

His Divine Shadow, yes

The Brunnen G will defeat you

I do not think so.

The power of order has destroyed your planet.

The power of order will destroy you

And you are the last of the Brunnen G left alive

The Time Prophet

has seen your order destroyed

by the Brunnen G

The Time Prophet's vision appears to be flawed

We will incinerate the carcass

No

This last specimen of a now extinct
culture of romantic dreamers

merits punishment beyond death

Transport it to the Bio-Scholars

An insect. Curious

Only a thin dimensional barrier

separates us from the festering evil,

the malignant depravity

and alien chaos

of the Dark Zone

The Dark Zone is not separate, like two different planets.

The Dark Zone coexists in the same space as our universe

in the same place, at the same time

The Dark Zone has no rules, no sense, no order

We give thanks to His Divine Shadow for his ceaseless vigilance,

protecting our universe of light and order

from the horrors and disorder of the Dark Zone

We worship His Shadow. Long may he reign

Good morning

Security Guard Class 4

Number 47632943

Department 511 Level 4

This is your third wake up call

If you are late you will receive 7 demerits.

You already have 991 demerits

Prisoner Transport 58K603 you are past the Frontier

Commence your revival sequence

Due to a bulkhead malfunction

prisoner transport 58K603,

you are being diverted from gate 417

punishment level 2 to gate 511

Due to a bulkhead malfunction

prisoner transport 58K6...

Number 11 freeze-dried again

I've seen a lot of women in my life

and you know something?

You've gotta be the ugliest one I ever laid eyes on.

Does this mean anything to you?

No. Nothing means anything to me, handsome

It's your day of justice, Thodin

I worship His Shadow

Prisoner transport 58K603 requesting docking beam

Authority code

Code?

Nobody asks for code anymore

Wrong code

I can't remember the code

I suggest you try another gate then

What rank are you?

Security guard, class 4

Security guard, class 4, sir

I'm a line major

and I'm ordering you

to turn on your docking beam

Understand?

I can't do that. Why not?

You've got the wrong code

I am giving you a direct order

4th class security guard

I can't help you

I worship His Shadow

I worship His Shadow

Docking beam is engaged now sir

and security guard class 4 Stanley Tweedle

is presently being entered for correction

and punishment himself

I request that he be demoted

Class 4 is already the lowest

Then I trust that his punishment

will be severe

That will happen, sir

May His Shadow fall upon you

You must enter yourself into correction centre number 40

before watch change today, Stan

Stanley Tweedle

And may His Merciful Shadow fall upon you

May His Merciful Shadow fall upon

- me, preferably

We have little time!

The sedative-

No time

He fought well

A truly vicious human being

He will prove to be a good host

The second vac! We don't have time, one will have to do

But he may not be fully cleansed!

We will have to risk it

Divine Shadow, you must perform the Kiss

Divine Shadow, the Kiss

We worship His Divine Predecessor

Divine Shadow, may your reign be long and worthy

Divine Predecessors

I than you for your gift of selection

I will serve order

I will serve you

and I will serve myself

Divine Shadow

today is a dark day for heretics

and infidels throughout our universe

The Lexx will soon be fully grown

and we will be able to send it on its voyage bringing destruction

upon all those who would oppose the League of 20,000

How will we know which planets shelter enemies of order,

which planets are to be chosen for destruction?

That will be your task

Then my task is complete

I choose to destroy them all

That has not been our plan

Divine Predecessors

I am formed from you

but my host brain was not fully cleansed

and therefore I am also partly formed from humans

I will choose my own path

and I choose that I myself

will command the Lexx on its voyage of destruction

But the prophecy-

I have no patience for your ancient superstitions!

The Brunnen G have been extinct for over 2000 years

The Divine Shadow must never leave the Cluster unless there is grave peril

We need each other's strength

I agree. Divine Predecessors

I will not risk being separated from your wisdom

your guidance - as you will join me on my voyage

The prophecy is upon us. Impossible!

The prophecy is false

The Brunnen G are extinct

Brethren

I was the one who killed them all

but I did not destroy them all

One specimen was preserved

Impossible!

Predecessors - look into me

I was the one who took his life

I have his memory

Prophet

I have come to you because

the forces of His Shadow grow stronger

and we Brunnen G no longer have the weapons to combat it

I have the strength to answer one question

Say to me your question

Will the forces of His Shadow destroy us?

Time as you know had a beginning

and time has an end

and then time begins again

as we shall each live our lives again

exactly as before

I have been gifted to see into the old cycles of time

- not very clearly, mind you,

but I have learned that in the future past

the Brunnen G

the great victor in the war against the insect civilisation,

shall be destroyed at the hand of His Shadow

but after His Shadow leaves the Cluster,

they will be destroyed at the hands of the Brunnen G

This has happened before. It will happen again

We are boarding the Lexx. We will all be destroyed!

You!

You, I know you!

Stanley Tweedle - it's him! Stanley Tweedle

Murderer!

Stanley Tweedle - oh!

Traitor!

My client - Argon Protopi, pie maker, class 2, orbital 5

- is accused of the charge of

failing to pay money owed to the temple

and throws himself upon the mercy of this court

secure in the knowledge that His Shadow's

wisdom will prevail upon these proceedings

Memory search commencing

Alms, alms, alms

I don't care anymore. I've had enough

I'm not paying the temple any more money, period

Memory search complete

You - Argon Protopi, pie maker, class 2, orbital 5

- have been found guilty of failing to pay money owed to the temple

You are therefore sentenced to

have your individual life terminated

However, His merciful Shadow

will allow many of your vital organs

to live on as components

used in the making of robotic drones

Your useful flesh will be contributed to the protein bank

bank where it will be recycled for purposes

that serve His Shadow

...poses that serve His Shadow

You can take whatever you want

I'll pay, I promise!

In the execution of this sentence

you are hereby cleansed of your crime against

the people of the 20,000 Planets

May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you

We worship His Shadow

I was supposed to escort a prisoner here

- Stanley Tweedle 467329-43 Department 511 Level 4

Yeah?

He is refusing to turn himself in

Yeah?

I thought that if you told me what his punishment would be

for not showing up, that might help persuade him

Oh - give me that number again.

467329-43 Department 511 Level 4

If he's not here when we close at watch change

- termination order will be issued automatically

That's about, er, twenty minutes

Termination?!

That's what it says - termination

But he's a designated data co-operator, he can't be terminated

because he might be needed someday for important information

DDC, eh?

Oh, sorry - that expired five months ago

Let's see

- he's a level 4, class 47 transgression

normally - cauterisation

But he's got 991 demerits and there's a special rotation so

looks like 1 to 3 organs

1 to 3 organs?

He'll have to donate 1 to 3 organs, depending on demand

Demand?

Demand for soft organs is red hot right now

so he's pretty sure to be a triple donor

But he didn't do anything, it's just a mix-up!

Life's a mix-up, huh?

What organs?

Usual combo - eyeball, kidney, testicle

If they want bone, they'll take an arm or a leg,

but we haven't done a limb cut in days

I'd suggest he turn himself in

After all

- triple organ's better than a termination

Hh - may His Merciful Shadow fall upon you

My client - Zev Bellringer of B3K

- is innocent of the charge of

failing to perform her wifely duties...

and throws herself upon the mercy of this court

secure in the knowledge

that His Shadow's wisdom will prevail upon these proceedings

Memory search commencing

You are my every dream come true

There must be a mistake

There's no way I can marry that cow!

Husband

I shall serve - I shall love - I will-

You make me wanna throw up

Get her outta here!

Memory search complete

You - Zev Bellringer of B3K

have been found guilty

of failing to perform your wifely duties,

and humiliating your husband in the temple

You are therefore sentenced

to be transformed into a love slave

and to be given to

Seminary 166145

to be used for their pleasure,

may His Shadow fall upon you

Oh please

put me out of my misery.

I volunteer for the protein bank

I don't want to live this terrible life anymore!

You - Thodin of the Ostral B pair

are accused of

Due to the special nature of this crime,

the arch-heretic Thodin of the Ostral B pair

will be tried in Cobalt Stadium

Following that, this sentence will be immediately executed

for the entertainment of His Shadow's loyal followers

In the execution of this sentence you are hereby cleansed

of your crime against the people of the 20,000 Planets.

May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you

Whatever

The arch-heretic, pirate and rebel of the Ostral B pair - Thodin

Bugbomb activated

Bugbomb searching, Thodin.

Heading left

Bugbomb searching, Thodin

3 organs. 3 organs

Better than termination

Bugbomb searching

Bugbomb malfunction

Thodin of the Ostral B pair

is accused of heresy in the first degree

of 26 counts of piracy

of influencing the minds of the feeble

of questioning His Shadow's truth and wisdom

of destroying 231 military vessels loyal to His Shadow

This correction centre is now closed

It's me! I'm here

Fugitive alert. Fugitive alert.

This fugitive wanted, for immediate termination

Bugbomb reactivating, Thodin

Bugbomb searching, Thodin

Target conduit located, Thodin

Target cable located, Thodin.

Target signal located

Bugbomb detonation sequence initiated, Thodin

Mal - malfunction

Target signal relocated, Thodin

Malfunction

Ah - Bugbomb lost head

His Shadow bids welcome

to the finest examples of youthful devotion in all the 20,000 planets

Bugbomb searching, Thodin

"This fugitive wanted, for immediate termination"

Incorrect signal

You young fifty

have been selected from the best

the brightest

and the most loyal of all His Shadow's subjects

from 2.000 of planets

Among plain stones, you are bright shining jewels.

And after you receive your awards of merit today

you will return to your home planets

where you will dedicate the rest of your lives

to helping His Shadow's light reach

those unfortunate dark corners

where it still does not yet fall

of training enemies of His Shadow in military tactics,
of slandering clerics on 11 planets, of-

You are all slaves!

Free yourselves from the tyranny of this false religion

You are all slaves!

Target signal relocated, Thodin. Mal-malfunction

Detonation imminent

- and finally, of 6 counts of blasphemous self-aggrandisement

Cannot locate correct signal

Due to the severe and heinous nature of your crime,

you, Thodin of the Ostral B pair-

- are recognised for selfless love and devotion to His Shadow

- of 26 counts of piracy - of piracy - of piracy

You, Thodin of the Ostral B pair -

- you are hereby given an award of merit

A shining example for every planet.

You are hereby -

- sentenced to be devoured by cluster lizards

Sentence to be executed immediately

Cluster Lizards!

- among plain stones, you are bright shining jewels.

You have been found guilty

Guilty. Guilty

11 planets. 11 planets

My client-

- Zev Bellringer of B3K

My client-

Watch for disguises

Some fugitives may try to fool you

My client-

- you have been found guilty

Hail Thodin of the Ostral B pair,

winner of His Shadow's award of merit

My client

- Giggerota the Wicked of Boron 7- is found guilty

is innocent of the charge of

- cannibalism of men, women, children and clerics of 62 temples

More like 162!

-and failing to perform her wifely duties,

and throws herself upon the mercy of this court,

secure in the knowledge that His Shadow's

wisdom will prevail upon these proceedings

Thodin - planets - of the Ostral B pair

Guilty!

Hail Thodin of the Ostral B pair

winner of His Shadow's award of merit

Hey, what about Giggerota?

Free me muscle brain, I'm next

What about her?

We can't get side-tracked

Hey, boneheads!

Giggerota's about to die

You - take care of the others

Don't think so

Let's do it

Arms 2,3 - down!

Arms 2,3 - down!

-self aggrandisement

May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you

I will love you forever

B3K, don't leave me

No-one will ever worship you like I do

See ya, lover boy

This fugitive wanted, for immediate termination

Nice picture

Zev of B3K, you are the woman of my dreams!

Zev of B3K, surrender at once

Invalid code. Access denied

I'm beautiful

Zev of B3K, there is no escape

I'm with you, Zev!

Divine Shadow

we have a level 3 security break.

Hundreds have been killed

General, you have disturbed my meditation.

When it is completed I will deal with you

and also with this minor matter

Invalid code. Access denied

Zev of B3K, there is no escape. Surrender at once

I got her, I have her! I got Zev of B3A!

Fugitive alert. This fugitive wanted, for immediate termination

Can you open it?

I can open many wonderful things for you

darling of all darling things

I worship His Shadow, I worship His Shadow!

Surrender at once

How did you do that?

I don't know

Maybe I've got some cluster lizard in me

I could get past that

Don't you even think about it, fugitive

She's my woman

Hail Thodin, winner of His Shadow's award of merit

Good boys

Hail Thodin, winner of -

correction - award of merit rescinded.

Thodin arch heretic and rebel

wanted for immediate termination

Please return our weapons

May His Shadow fall upon you

They appear to be headed towards the special projects area, Divine Shadow

There are many access points where they could potentially enter the Lexx

They cannot control the Lexx

We are closing all the throughputs

General, do you believe that time flows in a straight line?

I have observed that time is continuous

Major, do you believe that time travels in a circle,

that it is possible to see into the future

by looking into the past?

I am not aware of any such divine teaching

So you do not believe that it is possible?

No, Divine Shadow

I am a more complex being than my Divine Predecessors.

Unlike them I do not believe that time travels in a circle

and therefore I do not believe in prophecies

Divine Shadow?

Yes?

How shall we deal with the heretics?

You will ensure that they make their way

to the special projects area...

The time has come to prove that all prophecies are false,

that no-one can know the future

Major?

Yes, Divine Shadow

Kill him

Kill him?

Yes. Kill him

I worship His Shadow

Thank you

Now kill yourself

Kill myself?

Yes. Now kill yourself

But I - I -

Shoot yourself

I worship His Divine Shadow

Shoot!

Disengage, repeat, disengage

Awake, last of the Brunnen G.

You will show my misguided predecessors

that I make my own destiny

Who would you like me to kill?

Code access denied, buttercup

Access denied

All access denied, except to the gates of my heart

I don't like it

We can't go up there, that's the special projects area

Do we have a choice?

Only authorised persons are admitted to

the Special Projects highest level security area

If the system is not able to recognise your facial images

from its library of authorised persons

your flesh will be disposed of as useful organic material

and added to the protein bank

Doesn't this thing have a down button?

It's not fair, I was just doing my job

Life is not fair

- something I know well

Special projects elevators

offer their special passengers complimentary snacks

Upon arrival

you will be welcomed by elite officers

of His Shadow's personal guard

The system does not recognise your facial images.

You are unauthorised passengers

You will be disposed of as useful organic material

to be added to the protein bank

May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you

Don't shoot! I'm Ostral B!

Stanley Tweedle?

Thodin?

You're alive!

It's a miracle, a wonderful, wonderful miracle!

I should kill you on the spot, worm

Hi

I'm Zev

Thodin

790.

What is it?

Why don't you tell her what it is, arch traitor?

It's the Lexx

- the most powerful destructive force ever built

I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to go up there

Do you remember Erico?

The only reason that millions

- millions!

sacrificed their lives for that overheated rock

was because two Ericons were bio-code specialists

for the Cluster.

We fought that war, traitor

so that I could be here, today

They died

so that I could have the key to the Lexx

He must be inorganic

He's decarbonised

My life means nothing in the great equation

Beauty such as yours must live on

Don't leave me

Everybody always leaves me

I will never leave you

The Divine personal guard
can be there in less than one minute

No. I do not believe in prophecies

Is it possible? You look Brunnen G.

Could you be the fulfilment of the prophecy?

Brunnen-G?

I guess not

Wait for me!

You're on your own, traitor

I'd better go with him.

Excuse me

Hey!

I think it wants in

Let me in! Let her in!

Giggerota drives

Oh bosom of electrical delight!

Look, over there - that looks important

Anybody know how to drive this thing?

Later

Today, I, Thodin -

Stanley

- come here. Why?

Come here

Up. Up? Up

Your hand

What planet would you like me to destroy,
Divine Shadow?

What planet would you like me to destroy?
This one

This one

This planetoid is a member of the League of 20,000.

I am not permitted to destroy it

Then take us out of here.
Take us out of here

As you command

Destination?

The frontier
Yes

Take us away from here,
take us out past the frontier

take us some place better

As you command, Divine Shadow

Shadow

I gather you

Divine Predecessors, I have failed you

but I will not fail you again

Predecessors, forgive me for my pride

Predecessors, this sacrifice I make for order

This sacrifice I make for you

Shadow, take my body

Who could ever imagine all this could be built

from a tiny capsule of amino acids in my tooth?

What?

You are really the famous arch traitor Stanley Tweedle?

I am not a traitor

The Stanley Tweedle?

Formerly designated data co-operator

and presently fugitive, Stanley Tweedle

was the one who provided the forces of His Shadow

with the amino acid codes

used to destroy a hundred reform planets

It was the Sub-Ns

hey did things to me, to every part of my body

No man could've stood up to it.

And it was more like 94 planets, not a hundred

So why did they let you live, tweed man?

In case they ever needed any more questions answered

This is frontier station 65-798-4-8

Unidentified vessel please provide your exit code

Earn your keep, security guard

No-one asks for the exit code anymore

To pass at the frontier an exit code is required

one hundred percent of the time

If you pass the frontier without the proper exit code

I will arm the outer ring mines
and your vessel will be destroyed.

Exit code, please

Lexx -

would you please destroy frontier post

65-798-4-8?

As you command, Divine Shadow

Stanley, I've got new appetites

I want to eat the liver

Ladies -

I've got the hand, the key to the Lexx

It only does what I tell it, remember?

- what's that?

His Shadow's personal flagship, the MegaShadow

and the Cluster's 24th attack wing

Er - Lexx

could you please destroy them

if you don't mind?

I cannot fulfil your command.

They are forces under the immediate
direction of His Divine Shadow

And you are not permitted to destroy them

I'm security guard 4th class Stanley Tweedle

and I've been captured by these escaped prisoners,

and I'm surrendering the Lexx,

and I truly worship His Divine Shadow

You waste of skin!

You are Giggerota, also known as the Wicked?

You got a problem with that?

You are minor heretics, disloyal to His Shadow

Very very minor

Are there other minor heretics with you?

Lots

They're coming up here now
and they're heavily armed

No - you are alone

We worship His Divine Shadow and beg his forgiveness

Don't, Stan -

die with some dignity

I, the arch heretic

and reformer Stanley Tweedle,

although only an assistant deputy backup courier

I did everything I could, I really tried,

but I was captured by Sub Nebula mercenaries

and I tried my best, but they found the code

And then what could I do after they made me

security guard 4th class on the Cluster

but I tried, I really tried, I did

You have the Lexx back, let us go

I do as His Shadow instructs

I will kill both of you

And if I do not return, destroy the Lexx

But the Divine Predecessors -

- will understand

that my priority must now be

to end this prophecy

The last of the Brunnen G must be destroyed

Who are you?

I have been sent by His Divine Shadow

I have been instructed,
number one, to protect you

number two,

to kill those who are trying to steal the Lexx

Yes

kill those who have done this terrible deed

Kill them quickly

No, kill them slowly

Make them feel pain

as no living thing has suffered before

I know that sound

But you cannot remember it

as you do not remember who you are

I am Kai

last of the Brunnen G

The prophecy is upon us!

The Brunnen G are no more

You are animated flesh that kills

as His Shadow instructs

You were once His Shadow

You -

killed me

You may have recovered your memory

but you are nothing

You have no willpower of your own

Wrong

I have the willpower

You have given it to me

But they're not firing, they're not shooting at us

For how long?

Stan, do you have any idea

where we should tell the Lexx to go?

Yes

Where?

My tooth!

Your tooth?
Yes!

The Sub Ns never knew about my second tooth.

It contains co-ordinates of locations

supposedly inaccessible to His Divine Shadow

Which tooth?

This one, I think

It won't come out

Of course not!

Thank you!

Harder. Harder!

Is it?

Yes

Read it

It contains detailed flight path co-ordinates

You're a regular bundle of surprises, Stanley Tweedle.

Up

Lexx - follow the co-ordinates exactly

As you command, Divine Shadow

Hold course X axis 5-6.3441

Y axis 18.32815

I've killed mothers with their babies

I've killed great philosophers,

proud young warriors and revolutionaries

I've killed the evil, the good,

the intelligent, the weak

- and the beautiful

I have done this in the service of

His Divine Shadow and his predecessors,

and I have never once

shown any

mercy

Divine Shadow

I feel a loss of power from my predecessors

What have you observed?

The Divine Predecessors have suffered casualties

but they are now safe

And why are those

who are disloyal to my rule still alive?

The prophecy, perhaps

You do not know that word!

You have no memory from your life.

The protoblood only allows you to do as I instruct

I have the memory

of one of your predecessors

as well as the memories of all those he killed

Kill them!

I will not do that

Then kill yourself!

I'm already dead

Then you cannot fulfil the prophecy

I think -

I think

you should have listened to

your Predecessors, Divine Shadow

- or perhaps

not so Divine Shadow

as your Divine Predecessors

will now die!

No

you will die!

Admiral, if we maintain
this course it means death

Having never before followed
anyone into a fractal core

I do not know that with certainty

It is composed of antiparticles

crushed together by infinite gravity

- even light cannot escape its pull

I do know with certainty

the fate awaiting those who fail

to obey His Shadow's orders

We will stay with the Lexx

I worship His Shadow

What is that?

That, perfection in the female form

is our destination

- a fractal core

Oh universe of danger

What are you doing?

I don't exactly know

Coming?

Die, last of the Brunnen G!

Kill him, kill him! Die, Kai!

Foolish woman!

Don't hurt me, Divine Shadow!

You will all die!

No need, he's gone

Thank you

You're welcome

Hey Lexx, you did good

790, sweetheart, you too

The MegaShadow made it through the fractal core too

Admiral, if we target the accelerator

its energy will be released
and the Lexx will be destroyed

Target it

The Lexx has directed its ocular parabolae at us

The Lexx is not permitted

to fire on His Shadow's vessels

Woohoo! Yes!

But Lexx, that was one of His Shadow's ships

Who is His Shadow?

I perceived that much of Lexx's memory was erased

when we passed through the fractal core

That's what I call a positive development

I say we don't waste any more time

We turn the Lexx around and blow the Cluster

into little tiny shadow bits right now.

OK propeller head

let's find a course back to the Cluster

I have no knowledge of this area, love dumpling

What kind of robot are you?

I am a robot who wants
to live in your underpants

and I have knowledge of all sectors of our universe

but I have no knowledge of this
sector of the universe, angel breath

Welcome to the Dark Zone

The Dark Zone?

We're in the Dark Zone?

So...

what are we supposed to do now?

Perhaps you should find yourself a home

But the Dark Zone is full of depravity

and evilness and darkness and -

My ancestors came from the Dark Zone.

I was taught that although
there are not many good planets

there are some

Perhaps you should find one

You mean, we should find one

We're together in this

I'm dead

I have no future

The protoblood will not
sustain me for much longer

Be certain of your need before
you choose to reanimate me

In the Light Universe

I have been darkness.

Perhaps in the Dark Zone

I will be light

OK, Lexx

Let's find ourselves a new home

As you command, captain

Predecessors, I will avenge you