Lethal Weapon (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Surf N Turf - full transcript

Okay, where is it?

Damn.

We got a DB on the beach
washed up near lifeguard tower 17.

Hey, man. I livejust right up...

Right up the beach here.

- I must've gotten lost.
- Stay right here!

This is indecent exposure.

I need to call this in.

Detective Martin Riggs.

At your service.

You can cover yourself up, Detective.



You make a valid point, Officer.
Sun can be a bitch.

As you were.

Will you go put some damn clothes on?

I'm dressed.

You take
your narrow butt upstairs

and put something on that covers it.

We're having company tonight.

It's just Riggs.
He'll be dressed worse than me.

It's called pants. Go put some on.

Don't you touch those ribs.

They're relaxing.

I wish we could say the same
about you, baby.

It's been three weeks
you've been off work,

and you haven't really taken advantage
of the downtime.



Well, I'm back at work tomorrow.

Assuming we get cleared for the shootings.

- What's Avery say?
- Should be fine.

What was I supposed to do?
My partner handcuffs me to his trailer,

and then I drive a truck
through the wall...

You didn't tell me that part.

- What part?
- Handcuffed you to his trailer part.

I meant he handcuffed the suspect...

Handcuffed you to his trailer?

Yes, counselor.

Well, just make sure
he understands our one rule.

At the end of every shift,
you come back to me.

I will make that crystal clear, my lady.

And if anybody's gonna handcuff you,

it's gonna be me.

I got some handcuffs
in the other room.

That's disgusting!

- We're about to eat.
- That's nasty.

Relax, Murtaugh, I'm on my way, buddy.

Hey, sugar. It's Debbie Sue,
your realtor down in El Paso.

I have been trying to reach you.

Sorry. Yeah, been a busy week.

Well, great news.

The most darling young couple
just made an offer on your house.

What do you want me to do, sugar?

Mr. Riggs, you still there?

Sell it.

Roger!

You forgetting something?

Come on, baby.

You need to monitor your heart rate.
Doctor's orders.

What do they know?

How to revive you when your heart stops

in the middle of a delivery room.

Yeah, besides that.

I've been thinking.

You've been on the job 25 years,
not a nick on you.

You get partnered with Riggs three days,

you crash two cars,
nearly got yourself killed.

What are you saying?
I thought you liked him more than I do?

This whole dinner thing was your idea.

I like Martin.
I mean, I feel for the man.

I'm just wondering...

Do you think
he's the right partner for you?

Is he insane?

Does he have any idea
how hard I worked on these ribs?

I don't think he coming, D.

Very astute.

- Now I see why you're going to Princeton.
- Roger, stop.

Now, do you think you should call him?

Make sure he's okay.

He better not be okay.

Hello?

Three hours late!
No phone call, no excuses.

You know what?
For as long as you are breathing,

I don't want to hear it.

And I also want you to know that
I am hurt. And I'm man enough to say it.

You don't have nothing to say.
Nothing to say for yourself?

I miss you, too, Rog.

I invite you into my home
to break bread with my family.

I spend three days kneading
and working those ribs

till they fall Off the bone.

No call. No apology.

You just sitting there with your shades on
like you're Johnny freaking Depp.

Man, take the damn shades off!

Man, put the damn shades back on.

Crockett and Tubbs, get in here.

Do either of you have any idea
what this number is?

The number of words
in the Book of Genesis.

The number of cats in your apartment.

- Um, pi. Is that pi...
- It was rhetorical.

It's the amount of money
you two cost the city

working together for three days.

Despite that staggering amount
of financial exposure,

the city attorney hasn't demanded
that I fire your asses.

So you know what we're gonna do?
We're gonna ease you back into it.

We have a 415 up in the Hollywood Hills.

Cool. What is that, double homicide?

I think it's a jewelry heist.

- It's a noise complaint.
- What?

I've been Robbery Homicide
longer than you.

And if you want to stay,

you're gonna show the bosses
that number isn't gonna go up.

Consider it done, Cap. Let's go.

Come on, is this guy really field ready?

No, but it's not my call.

I don't get it either.
Guy must have friends in powerful places.

- Trust me, that guy has no friends.
- Well, now he has you.

Murtaugh, remind him
that the job is to stop a noise complaint,

not cause one.

You ask me why I box.

You tell me any otherjob you can make
$50 million at the end of the night.

You know what I'm saying?

Am I a thug? No, I ain't no thug.
I'm a specialist.

A businessman.

Damn, that's some next-gen hardware.

How many can I have?

As many as you need.

Hey. You know what? Forget about dinner.

Okay?
We don't need a personal relationship.

Let's keep it professional.

But while we're on the job,
we gotta work together like surf and turf.

Cool. I'm turf.

No. You're surf.
You live on the beach butt naked.

This is non-negotiable, Roger.

Pineapple and ham?

That's gross. I don't want to be either.

Chips and salsa?

Okay, I can roll with that.

Okay, I'm spicy salsa with the tomatoes
blended nicely on the side.

I'd give you mild and chunky at best.

You know, I'm trying to like you.

Hello, ma'am,
we are responding to a noise complaint.

They have been partying all day.
The music and drugs.

I smell reefer.

Actually, I do detect something.
You smell that?

Yeah. Is that the faint aroma
of freshly baked coffee cake?

Yes, it is.

Would you two care for a piece?

- I'd hate to impose.
- Might as well.

Hey. You can't be...

Hey. Where's our shooter?

Get out of the truck.

Out!

410 King in pursuit of a propane truck
heading south on Outpost.

Request backup and air crew.

Hey, baby.

You find me any new clients?

"MURTAUGH". I'm working on it, counselor.

Hey, can I call you back?

Sure. I was just thinking about Martin.

Maybe we should give him
another chance tonight at dinner.

Can we put a pin in bringing him
around the kids for now?

Igottajump!

Take the shot, Murtaugh!

Take the shot!

Hey, what are you doing?
Why didn't you take the shot?

Because he's driving a propane truck.
I didn't want any collateral damage.

And you want to be spicy salsa.

Well, how far do you think he's gonna get
in the middle of Hollywood?

I'd say about two blocks.

Scorsese, what do you think?

Little bougie of a pad for my taste.

I prefer the Bird Streets
or the views from up on Mulholland.

You make it up this way much?

Everyone dies, Murtaugh. Even you.

Let me guess.

Death by gunshots wounds.

Very perceptive, Tango. Or are you Cash?
Always get you guys confused.

Our Vic's name is Ronald Dawson,
up and coming light heavyweight.

He was renting this place.

My guess, he played at being hard

and pissed off some actually
hard-playing dudes who took him out.

He was the primary target.

Good work, Bailey. This is my protégé.

Or alternate theory,

he wasn't the target.

All right. Let's see what we got.

Hey, that's my phone.

Look at all the bullet holes around here.

But our vic wasn't exactly
keeping a low profile.

All right, so why spray the place?

He must not have been the main target.

Well, looky here.

Our party girl over there
was taking selfies.

Here she is in the pool
obviously looking for her top.

Doing blow.
Scorsese, you missed quite a party.

And there she is
with the host of the party.

Now, check out the cocktail waitress
in the background.

She's running before the gunshots.

Which means she saw the shooter.

Or the shooter saw her.

Maybe she's the target.

What kind of shoes
was the waitress wearing?

"SCORSESE". White Keds. Why?

All right.

Let's find our Cinderella.

Wow. You two are like peaches and cream.

Starsky and Hutch.

Which one's Starsky?

- I am.
- I am.

Hey, Chief, before you add up that bill,

the damage to the party happened
before we got there.

That's true. Although there may be
some landscaping issue...

And you crashed a motorcycle.

And the big explosion
in the middle of Hollywood.

Okay, we're gonna need separate tabs.

Not now. We have company.

This is Special Agent Bennet Hirsch.

- FBI?
- ATF.

I'm here because of the gun used
at the party.

Now, it appears that it was
a next-gen weapon

that can fire several rounds at once.

But who would make something like that?

It could be DARPA.

It could be one of several
private military contractors.

We have a lead
on a waitress that fled the scene.

She could be a witness.

I haven't assigned you guys the case yet.

We got the shooter.

Well, I mean, we barbecued the shooter.
But we were the first responders.

And you're forgetting
the most important part.

We stopped the noise complaint.

Find the girl.

Hey, Doc, how's it going with Riggs?
Are you making any progress?

I can't discuss a patient
with you, Murtaugh.

Okay, well, just blink or something
if you think my life is in danger.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry to hunt you down, Detective,
but you've missed our last three sessions.

I must've gotten the dates wrong.

You looking for this?

Absolutely not.

It would be inappropriate
to drink on duty.

But now that I've seen it,
it is my duty to confiscate it.

You can pick this up
at the end of the day.

Thank you, Dr. Cahill.

- So, the rumors are true.

Women's bathroom is much nicer.

I gotta think this is
some kind of violation of my privacy.

Riggs, our sessions are a condition of you
being allowed back in the field.

You want to work? You want to carry?
You better talk.

Okay, Doc.

Okay-

I was leading a mission
when things went south.

I lost my entire squadron.

When I got back home,
I wasn't the same man.

My fiancée at the time
was a flight attendant.

She couldn't be around me anymore.

So she left.

I tried to get her back.

I even bought a ticket
on one of her flights.

Let me guess.
Everybody got food poisoning?

How'd you know?

That's the plot of Airplane!

It's a hell of a film.

All right, Riggs. I'm done chasing.

We had a nice moment there, Doc.

What do you want from me?

Something true. Anything.
What happened to your eye?

- Bar fight.
- You win?

That was the point, I suppose.

Physical pain is better
than emotional any day,

but believe it or not, talking helps.

What hurts you the most?

- She's pregnant.
- How do you know?

Blood sample from Cinderella's shoe
show elevated levels of hCG,

which are either associated with pregnancy
or testicular cancer.

I'll go with pregnancy.

That's why you get paid the big bucks.

I'd put her somewhere
between 9 and 12 weeks.

All right, fellows.
I may have a lead on our Cinderella.

See, now that's the kind of useful
police work I'm talking about.

Talk to me, Bailey.

The name the catering company had
was fake, along with the address.

But they did have a number
for the phone she used.

- Okay, so did you do the ping thing...
- ping thing?

That's a technical term.

We should dial-up the modem,
go on GeoCities...

I triangulated
the phone's most common location

by comparing the signal strength
with the time lag.

Bailey, do you have an address for me,
yes or no?

Cinderella's address as requested.

Thank you.

Not exactly ideal digs
for an expecting mother.

LAPD.

Guess we're gonna have to go all the way
back to the station and get a warrant.

Did you hear that?

Sounds like a woman in distress to me.

Good thing we're here.

- Clear.
- Clear.

"Natasha Belenko."

Could be her real name.

50 milligrams of NewGen.

That's a prenatal vitamin.

You take it when you're pregnant
and iron-deficient.

How the hell you know that?

It's okay. We're the police.

We just want to talk to you.

I'm going up!

Okay, you g0 UP-

Hey!

- Stay away from me!
- It's okay, look!

Hey, hey. I'm a cop, Natasha.

- It's okay, I'm a cop.
- You don't look like a policeman.

I didn't say I was an exemplary one.

It's not a great option, Natasha.

It's a long way down.

No, no, no, no!

Riggs, get away from the ledge!

Now, look, far be it from me

to tell anyone
that they need to continue living.

My only request,

you wait another seven months.

What do you know about me?

I know you're taking care of yourself
because you already love that child.

The most important thing in the world
to you is protecting that baby.

Let me help you.

You can't protect us.

Look, I know we just met,
but it's probably the only thing I can do.

Riggs!

Trust me.

I'm not going to let anything
happen to you.

Damn, man!

No, no, no!

You Okay?

Yeah. I think so.

Hey, it's okay, I'm a cop.

The city will take care of all this.

Just tell them to put it on my tab.
Martin Riggs.

Help me understand this.
He jumped off a roof with her?

More like a leaping dive with a twist.

But I'm not the most reliable witness.
My eyes were closed.

This man is truly dangerous.
I can't allow him to be in the field.

Doc, you're gonna have
to back me up on this.

I mean, psychologically speaking,
he's nuts, right?

He's in a lot of pain.
That's all I can say.

He lost his wife and child
less than a year ago.

Child?

Murtaugh, you didn't know?

She was pregnant.

On, my God.

So what happened?

I was working at a bar in San Diego
when I started dating this man.

I thought it was love.

One day, I took a picture of him
and I wanted to send it to my family.

He got mad.

He took out the SIM card
and microwaved it.

What's this lovely gentleman's name?

Gino Corelli.

But I don't think it's real.

- I was ready to break it off when...
- You got pregnant.

So I followed him to a motel one day.

I peeked in through the window,

expecting him to be there
with another woman.

But instead, there were bags with money
and guns in boxes.

Then he saw me.

And, like ice, he shot at me.

I was scared, so I ran to LA to hide out.

Then, at the party,
there was one of the men from the motel.

He saw me and then...

Hey. It's okay.

Natasha.

I give you my word.
You and your child are gonna be safe.

I want her in protective custody.
Safe house. 24-hour watch.

I'll take the first shift.

No way. Someone else will cover it.

Riggs, you're not being punished.

You done good. The day is over. Go home.

All right, well,
I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?

Yeah.

Hey-

You wanna come have dinner with us?

No.

No? Not a "No, thank you"?

Just flat out rejection.

Come on, Rog.
I know what you're trying to do.

All right? I'm not a charity case.

You know, personally,

I'd like to spend
as little time with you as possible,

but last night when you didn't show up,
Trish made me eat a kale salad.

Not even a respectable lettuce.

Man, I worked three days on those ribs.

You look at them,
and they just fall right off the bone.

You wanna stay here by yourself,
fine with me.

My ribs are superb.

Rog.

I'm from Texas.
Come on, don't embarrass yourself.

Did your thing on the ribs...
No, no, let Martin have it.

He's our guest.

He doesn't want it.

- He's still working on...
- No, no, no, no.

I got room for one more.

Can I be excused?
I have a ton of homework.

Phone on the table.

And you can leave
once our guest is finished.

- I'm done.
- Go ahead.

- Beer?
- Yeah, man, I'd love one.

- All right.
- Absolutely not.

Come on, Rog.

What, you gonna send the kid
off to college without a tolerance?

You don't want him waking up
on some frat house lawn,

puking all over himself.

Look, my advice?

Two beers a day
and a shot of whiskey on the weekends.

Doctor's orders.

Okay, one beer.

After you finish your homework.

I don't want him thinking
it's some kind of big rebellion.

- Right?
- Right.

- Boy, you can smell a beer.
- Just a...

That's it.

Some parent you'd make.

- Hey, I'm sorry about that.
- About what?

Baby?

Wanna help me upstairs?

Yes.

Heard a crazy story
down at the courthouse today.

There was a high-speed chase in the Hills.

A couple of hero cops
chased down a propane truck

that blew a hole the size of a crater.

It was more like a pothole.

And I wouldn't call them hero cops.

I mean, these things get exaggerated.

Okay, I didn't want you to be worried.

Roger, I've been a cop's wife
for over 20 years.

Worrying, I've learned to live with.
Lying, I won't.

Okay, I'm sorry.

It's just my past three decades as a cop

hasn't been as interesting
and action-packed

as about three days with Riggs.

I noticed.

He's a good man.

And I can't imagine
what he's been through.

He lost his child.

- What?
- His wife was pregnant.

Baby, you remember
when you were in uniform,

and you busted up that crack house,
and you brought home a stray?

Yeah. Roscoe was a great dog.

Come on, Roger. Roscoe was a nightmare.

I mean, he bit the arm off the sofa,
crapped everywhere,

and attacked every stranger in sight.

What are you saying?
ls Riggs Roscoe in this scenario?

I'm saying, even though we loved him,
we couldn't have Roscoe today.

Why? Because we have a bigger house,
nicer things?

Because we have more to lose.

Riggs!

Sorry we're late. He slept in.

I didn't realize it was so formal.

I would've worn dress socks.

I brought the bagels, so...

Can you please use a knife?

This is a real meeting.

Sorry. Continue.

Bullet fragments found at the scene
and in the body are particularly lethal.

They're designed to split mid-air
giving them a wider hit radius

and almost 100% accuracy.

That's not a thing that people do.

It's not gonna enhance the flavor.
It's weird.

You know, the good news
about these bullets,

they can only be fired
out of one gun, the MG-10.

It's illegal stateside,

and it's only licensed for use
in the military overseas.

Well, one of them got out.
Who makes this thing?

It's a private arms contractor,
Stonehill Industrial Group.

Down south near San Diego.

Any luck with the witness?

She's in protective custody,
going through ID books today.

Hey, gentlemen, just a word to the wise,

arms contractors don't take kindly
to accusations of misappropriated weapons.

What he means is,
it's a government facility,

so tread lightly.

I'm taking Riggs to a gun factory.
What could go wrong?

I don't understand what some gangbanger
shooting has to do with this company.

Because we believe that one of your guns
was the murder weapon.

The MG-10.

That's impossible.

That weapon is
for military use overseas only.

You gotta let me try one of them.

- This is a closed range.
- I'm just browsing.

Martin Riggs.

I assume that you have records
of every weapon you manufacture here.

Yes. We have detailed manifests to ensure
that every gun we make,

every gun we ship is accounted for.
Every single one.

Jack Kirstein. Head of weapons testing.

Ooh, those burns look fresh.

Let me guess.
Hot brass from a sniper rifle?

You been sharp-shooting lately?

I was trying to kill a coyote
who was trespassing.

- Did you get him?
- Slippery bastard got away.

Can I see those?

Sure.
Just call the Pentagon, ask permission.

That big building in Arlington.

Or I could freeze your operation
till I've got a warrant.

You know, smelly little building
in downtown LA.

I could shut you down for days,
maybe even weeks.

You got 20 minutes.

Okay, but don't start the clock
until I start reading.

Okay, go.

Ooh, what are these?

I test the weapons.
If they're not up to spec,

I tag them and destroy them.

How do you know if they're defective?

My God, I'm so sorry. Sorry.

Authorized professionals only.

- You need to leave now.
- I was not expecting that kick.

That gun is definitely defective, though.
I'll tell you that right now.

It should be destroyed immediately.

Hey, man, while you were
playing with toys,

look what I found.

All defective weapons are signed out
to the ATF to be destroyed.

And look at who just signed out
a whole cache of those MG-10s.

Is that "Joe"? "Gonzo"?

Gino Corelli.
Fake name of our mystery man.

We don't know who he is,
but that's a damn good start.

That is how Starsky rolls.

- Or we could just call him.
- Call?

See, because
I've got his number right there.

How... How did you...

You could be Huggy Bear.
That's a good idea.

But, see, this is Starsky.
Speaking of which,

how's your hood slide?
'Cause mine's spectacular.

If called upon,
I could do a great hood slide.

Consider yourself called upon.

You know, just call the damn number.

- Excuse me, sir.
- Here to pick up the witness.

What?

Riggs. what?

- Riggs.
- It was Hirsch's voice on the phone.

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Hey, darling.

You miss me?

This is on me.
I should have stayed with her!

It's not. It was Avery's call.

Besides, we don't know
anything happened yet.

Do you realize you're in the wrong lane?

I gave her my word
that she was gonna be safe.

Bailey.

Bailey, I need you to connect us
to the safe house where Natasha is.

She's gone. Agent Hirsch picked her up.

Took her to the ATF offices for photos.

Agent Hirsch may not know
that his cover is blown.

All government vehicles are installed
with LoJack.

All right, I'm on it.
Want me to put out a BOLO?

- Yes.
- No.

Track him and call us back.

Let's go!

Yo, we got a problem.

Your cops were sniffing around
Stonehill today.

I know. We gotta move these
to a more secure location now.

But first,
we've got to deal with this.

If we call it in now,
SWAT's at least 10 minutes away.

Yep.

So we're going into a room
full of trained killers

with guns that have 100% kill rate.

All right. Just wanted to make sure
that you were up to speed.

You ready?

- I'm ready.
- Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go! Let's go!

Hang on.

Igotanidea.
You stay out here and cover the perimeter.

I'm gonna go inside. I got this.

No, no, no, I got a better idea.

I go inside.
You stay out here with the perimeter.

- I'll see you inside.
- I'll see you inside.

Shut up.

All right, we need to make it look
like I was ambushed before you kill her.

I'm gonna make it look like
I was caught in the crossfire,

so I want you to shoot me
right in the shoulder.

Are you sure you can make this shot?

I test guns for a living.
There's no one better.

- Are you okay?
- Thank you.

All right, it's over!

Put your weapons down!

Yeah. We're not gonna do that.

We got more, and, well, ours are bigger.

Yeah? Well, SWAT will be here any second.

Really? Because you know what I think?

I think you two morons came alone.

He's on to us, Rog!

I mean, look, the moron part,
that was a little harsh,

but maybe we should just surrender.

Hell, no! We going out shooting.

To be candid, Rog, you're a terrible shot.

Yeah, I may not be a sniper,
but I hit what's in front of me.

Yeah.
Hit what's directly in front of you, Rog!

- And, hey!
- HUh?

Don't worry
about collateral damage this time.

What, did you miss?

It's a huge target!

I shot the truck.

You were supposed to hit the gas tank!

I didn't have an angle on the gas tank!

Then why didn't you say you didn't...

Can't wait for you two to shut up!

We gotta run!

Man.

Please, someone tell me
where Riggs and Murtaugh are.

We could move our sessions
to the men's room

if that would make you
feel more comfortable.

No, no. Smells much nicer in here.

Well, after reading the report,

it seems your actions
and Murtaugh's were justified.

Dare I say heroic?

All in a day's work, ma'am.

I suppose that depends on your job.

Must have felt good to give her
and her child a future.

We could sit here
and talk about crappy B-movies...

Classics.

Or we could talk about,
what are your plans tonight?

Well, Doc, I mean...

- It's a little forward, I mean.
- I mean, when you leave here.

When there's no one else around.
When you go home.

Well, I don't have a home.
Sold it the other day.

You mean back in Texas?

Riggs, I can't fix you.

There are no words in the world
that can make up for what you lost.

I just want to help
take away some of your pain.

Sorry, Doc.

Pain's all I got.

"MURTAUGH". Was I afraid for my life?

A woman's life was in danger.

What is Roger Mayfield Murtaugh
supposed to do?

Now, some may call it heroic.

I don't like using
such braggadocious words.

I simply call it Tuesday.

Can't wait to hear about Wednesday.

Baby?

What are you doing here?

I came to check on a client in holding.

Falsely arrested!

But since I'm here,

I'd love to hear more
about the exploits of Mayfield.

- It was nothing. It was just...
- Just what?

Just Tuesday?

Tuesday, yeah.

I'm surprised you know what day it is.

Since you don't have your watch on.

It must have fallen off.

- You know, the... It's really flimsy...
- Roger!

Okay, I took it off.

I was going into a shootout
with a bunch of armed men

with illegal machine guns
with 100% kill rate.

And?

I handled my business.

You damn right, you did.

All right.
You don't want to wear your watch, fine.

So we need to figure out a way

to help that heart rate.

I'm listening.

No more ribs.

No more ribs?

No more ribs?

Baby, ribs is all I got
left in this world.

I mean, besides you and the kids.

_H€Y-
_H€Y-

What are you doing here?

Freeing an innocent man.
Where you coming from?

Psych evaluation.

And?

Are you crazy, Riggs?

Seems to be the consensus.

Not to me.

- Have a good night, Trish.
- You, too.

Martin.

No matter what I say to Roger, he's gonna
follow you down any rabbit hole you go.

And that's okay. It's what he needs
as a cop and probably as a man.

But I can't imagine what I'd do
if I lost him.

So I need you to promise me one thing.

At the end of every shift,

make sure he comes home to me.

Yes, ma'am. I'll do the best I can.

From what I hear, that ought to do.

You're a lucky man, Rog.

That I am.

Hey. You wanna come over,
have some barbecued halibut?

I think I'll pass.

What about a drink?

Sure.

I know a great place.

- Okay, wait.
- I want that there.

I want that there.

Decorating.

Yeah, okay.

RIGGSI...

Look at that, kid.

- Hello, ladies, this is Martin Riggs.
- Hi, ladies.

A little bright in here, baby?

- See, what had happened...
- No. No, no.

No?

Put the ribs down, Roger.

- Put them down!
- Mind if I... I'll just... I got it.

It's okay.

Good night, baby.

Good night, Martin.

- Good night, Trish.
- Good night, baby.

No, she said no.

English - SDH