Legends of Tomorrow (2016–…): Season 7, Episode 4 - Speakeasy Does It - full transcript
♪
All right.
We gotta ditch Hoover's car.
APB's probably already out
on the Bullet Blondes.
It's fine.
From here, we'll just
hop a train to New York.
Ugh.
Another train, must we?
By my math, we should have
enough left for three tickets.
The other half can hang out in
John's portable phantom house.
I mean, it's technically
my portable phantom house.
But, more importantly,
does your math account
for Gary's
overly generous tipping?
He gave our last waitress
20 bucks.
$20--that's over a quarter
of our entire budget, Gary.
$20 for a six top
seems fair to me.
Okay, so what's the damage?
Do we have enough
to get to New York?
$35, that's enough
for one ticket and a few meals,
tipping like a normal person
in 1925.
All right, I call phantom
house 'cause I'm over trains.
We still have to get
across town and on that train,
without anyone recognizing us.
Shh.
Well, then we stopped
at the right place.
Huh.
♪
Oh.
I think, yes.
Yes, it's very cute.
But we need
to hide the blonde, babe.
How about this?
Yes.
Ah, yes, it worked.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
We're in the 1920s.
That is not the look.
Okay.
Sir, can we see all your wigs
that are bobs?
♪
Um, hello?
Potential customer here.
I asked you a question,
which any good salesman
would take as an opportunity
to upsell your finest wigs?
Is he...
Um, hello?
Yeah, she asked you a question.
Oh, I'm sorry, miss.
I didn't realize
she was with you.
These are the only bobs
on display
since most of you ladies
chop and style your own.
That's not happening.
Well, of course,
not with those gorgeous locks.
Let me see
what I can find in the back.
Racist dick.
I'm sorry.
Let's just get these disguises
and get outta here, yeah?
Yeah, it's okay.
Sorry.
Is it just me, or...
We probably should have
ditched Hoover's car
before entering the city.
Yeah, come on.
Come on.
Hey, hey, hey.
The police found Hoover's car.
They are onto us.
We got to get out of here.
I've got bobs in the three
different shades,
a brunette, a redhead--
We'll take them both.
Oh, there's also a blonde.
both: No blondes.
Okay,
how much for the two wigs?
Wait a minute.
Are you two--
No.
They are definitely not the--
whatever you were gonna say.
♪
Guys, we gotta hustle.
Okay.
Here's what's gonna happen.
You're gonna help us
sneak out of here unnoticed,
and we will buy these wigs
at double wholesale.
Triple.
That is robbery.
Look, who's talking,
Bullet Blondes.
They're crossing the street.
♪
You gotta be kid--
Aves.
Are you serious?
Give him the money.
Ugh!
Go, just go, come on.
♪
Wig, wig, wig, wig, wig.
Yeah, here you go.
Here you go.
Put it on.
Thank you.
Good, good, good, good.
He said they were
the Bullet Blondes!
They couldn't have gotten
very far!
♪
This is literally
our only option.
Great, then put the key in.
We can hide out here
until the coast is clear.
♪
Hey.
Hey.
You looking
for the Sapphire String?
Maybe.
You got the password?
Wh--
Uh...
Swordfish.
So he meant salamander.
Satellite.
Sword fighter.
Are we doing this?
Are we really fishing
for a stupid password
so we can get out
of garbage alley?
Gang, we're screwed.
We have no money, no allies.
This time period sucks
for anyone
who's not white, male,
and rich.
And only one of us--it's you--
is at least
two of those things.
You said the password.
Come on in.
Wait, what was it?
Password.
Ah, I see what you did there.
Password.
The password is "password"?
Welcome to my club.
Name's Eddie.
Sorry it's a little quiet
right now.
Running a little low
on the drinks.
We're at a speakeasy.
A very inclusive one,
considering.
Considering what?
Well, the mob had
a tight grip
on these establishments
and kept them segregated.
But it looks like we stumbled
into one that caters
to everyone, which is rare.
I guess that's why
the password is "password."
You play brother?
I noodle.
Come make us some pasta.
Well...
♪
What have we got here?
E flat?
E flat, brother.
Classic.
Yeah.
♪
This is so degrading.
This is so exciting.
Okay, look, we got through
step one, sneak onto the train.
Step two is the ride
to Chicago.
Steps?
Who died and made you Ava?
We're going to New York
to prevent that from happening.
And that reminds me,
don't talk to anyone
any more than we have to.
We can't mess up the timeline.
Okay, Captain Sharpe.
That's Spooner Cruz.
The most important thing
is to avoid any suspicion
for sneaking onto the train.
Tickets, please.
Crap.
Let's go, let's go.
Tickets--hey, hey,
I need to see your tickets!
You trying to sneak on my train
without a ticket?
What--no,
I just had it in my hands.
Yeah, maybe I dropped it
while we were moving.
You're off the next stop.
Stella, why are you
bothering this nice ticket man?
I apologize if these three
have given you any trouble.
These ladies are with you?
You're looking
at the best pianist, bassist,
and clarinetist
you'll ever hear.
Just ask my boyfriend,
Mr. Bottoni.
Of course,
our train tickets are
all in our manager's pocket.
You're welcome to wake him
from his beauty rest.
But I have to warn you,
he has quite the temper.
You all enjoy your trip.
I'm Maude.
And we're The Masqueradies.
Welcome to the band.
♪
Any mention
of an exploded Hoover?
According to this,
he's still alive and well
and ready to take on the most
notorious criminals,
Capone and the Bullet Blondes.
It's only a matter of time,
babe.
He's after us.
So there's a new
and improved Hoover-bot?
Great.
What else does the paper say?
Oh, that we're bootleggers
and robbers.
And, worst of all,
we're sisters.
Sisters?
We can't go on like this.
And we can't rob another bank
because it'll call too much
attention,
and we have no money.
What are we gonna do?
♪
Well, maybe it's time to give
our other enterprise a shot.
♪
Wow, you made this yourself?
Plenty more where
that came from.
All we ask is access to your
storage room for the night
and 25% of the bar.
What do you want
with my storage room?
20%, no questions.
We got a deal.
All right,
let's move some booze.
♪
The car was impounded
an hour ago.
Your ears
to the ground, boys.
Bullet blondes are in Chicago,
and they're bound
to make their move soon.
You really got us out of
a sticky situation back there.
Oh, it was plain as day
that you needed a hand.
Believe me, I've been there.
Gals help gals
and make new pals.
That's how I see it.
If we don't look out
for one another who will, men?
Men don't look out,
they look at,
if you know what I mean.
You're referring
to the rampant commodification
of females by males
that is a societal norm
of this decade.
You talk funny.
I like it.
My name's Susie Spencer.
Susan Spencer.
Marries Colin Baker in 1928,
has four children,
retires in Florida,
and dies peace--
That's enough talking,
Gideon.
You're supposed to be resting
your voice, remember?
Oh.
Time to play the quiet game.
Oh, the game invented
by parents to quell
their irritating children,
got it.
So you're a jazz band
called the Masqueradies?
I know it's a silly moniker.
We wear fancy masks
as part of our shtick.
Not that it made
a lick of difference
on our East Coast tour.
We barely broke even.
You know how it is,
being musicians yourselves.
She's resting her voice?
Right, yeah.
Gideon here is
the Lark of London.
Uh, Spoo--Esperanza is
her vocal coach.
And I am her manager,
A manager?
Oh, my, they do things
differently in London.
Don't they?
Yeah.
Between us gals,
I would kill to have a woman
managing our business.
Mm-hmm.
Donny over there is just
an overpaid bodyguard really.
Is that so?
Can I take a look
at your contract?
Sure, I have it right here.
♪
♪
That's a strange-looking
compact.
Oh, yeah.
It's from California
by way of China.
You know, business is
really picking up in here.
Yeah, it's 'cause
the word got out
that we got the good stuff.
What can I get for you?
Whiskey or the rocks
or straight up?
Oh, neither.
I don't drink.
For health or faith?
Faith.
Okay.
Soda water with lemon
on the house.
Thank you.
Salamati.
Salamati.
♪
Helps to know cheers
in different languages.
I get all kinds in here.
Yeah.
That your brother?
Yeah, it is.
I've actually never heard
him play like that before.
And you never will again.
Because what's going on up
there is a one-time special.
Oh, right.
Those three guys are
feeling the vibe,
riffing off what the other guys
are bringing to the moment.
You can't recreate that.
Yeah, well, where I'm from,
we have a saying,
"Pics or it didn't happen."
A picture couldn't describe
the here and now.
Here, now, it forces you
to pay attention.
Just let it roll on
over you like a wave.
♪
This is a catastrophe.
When did you sign this?
About three years ago
when we first formed the band.
Okay, good.
Hey, blubber butt, wake up!
You don't wanna do that.
It says here
that you're taking 60%.
Criminal, mind you,
and yet you still
don't have these ladies riding
in first-class accommodation?
Are you lazy
or stupid or both?
You're telling me
how to do my job?
What's a colored girl like you
know anything about contracts?
Where I'm from, managers and
producers are a dime a dozen.
I learned from
Phil Spector himself.
There's a clause here
that says these terms expire
after 24 months.
This paperwork is defunct.
So I suggest
that you draw up a new contract
that will actually benefit
your clients, not exploit them.
You can't make me
do anything.
True, I can't.
But she can.
♪
You're fired.
What do you mean, fired?
You are out of a job,
you low life.
So we'll be taking these.
Permuto.
Would you look at that?
These are
for the first-class cabin.
Grab your gear, girls,
you just got upgraded.
♪
♪
Cheers!
♪
Where's my wife?
I want to brag to her about
how I solved all our problems
with some good
old fashioned bootlegging
She is taking a siesta
in the mansion.
She said her wig was too itchy,
probably synthetic.
I kinda wish
we could stay longer.
Well, no can do, B.
Train for New York
leaves at 8:00 a.m.
We gotta find
this Gwynn Davies guy,
so he can invent us some time
travel, and boom.
Here's the rest.
We got all we need you.
You keep it.
Thanks.
Hey, you sure you
all can fit back there?
No questions.
Well, tonight was
eye-opening.
You all are welcome
back anytime.
And I know you mean that.
Good luck, Eddie.
♪
♪ Eddie
Been a while.
Evening, Mr. Bottoni.
When I rented you this place
it was just a bunch
of curtains and a gramophone.
Now look at it.
Looks good, almost classy.
Thank you.
Things sure do change.
For example, I told you,
you could rent
my little space for cheap,
and I'd supply you
with your liquor.
And what do I hear
but you got another source.
♪
Eddie?
My God.
Oh, my God, are you okay?
Help!
Help, we need help in here!
Zari?
He's hurt.
What?
You're the Bullet Blondes?
Oh, no.
Eddie, what happened to you?
Yeah, who did this to you?
You did.
We can explain.
I think I understand
just fine.
You conned me.
You put me in the middle
of a damn mob war.
And now, because of you,
I don't own this bar anymore.
How does that work?
My landlord, he's a mobster.
He found out I worked with you
and took the whole thing back.
Everything I had was
in this bar, and now it's gone
'cause of one night with you.
Eddie--
No, just go.
The mob will be here soon,
so you better not be.
♪
You're just going to
let him leave like that.
What are we supposed to do?
We can't take down
the entire Chicago mob,
our train leaves
in a few hours.
A train we'd have no way
of affording
if it weren't for his help.
He's the only one
who's opened his doors to us.
In fact, he's the only
open-minded person
we've met on this entire trip.
We have to fix this.
Yeah, but how?
Money, money.
Money can fix anything.
If you hand me the reins
for 24 hours,
I will help Eddie make
enough money
to get back on his feet,
and then some.
It's just, we said small
footprints to the timeline.
Aves, we can't keep leaving
the timeline
worse than we found it.
This place is one of
the few safe spaces that exist
in this entire
crummy time period.
I'm not gonna be able to sleep
knowing we had a hand
in destroying it, are you?
Let's do it.
Thank you.
Zari's really wearing
the pants on this mission.
I think I like it.
♪
What could you possibly
show me
that's gonna change anything?
Just patience, please.
You know, it's locked.
Can you help me
find the key?
Maybe over there?
A key?
Mm-hmm.
Just around?
Mm-hmm.
You know what?
I found it.
What is with you people
and storage rooms?
It's a fair observation,
but just give it a chance.
Okay?
♪
Okay, picture the main
dance floor here,
a more exclusive lounge
over here.
No smoking of course,
but darker, sexier.
The bar over there.
Whoa, give me a second here.
♪
Eddie,
can I be real with you?
I know a thing or two about
throwing an excellent soiree,
and I'm going to throw
you the biggest fundraiser
of the season.
Buddy, you are going
to get a Zari party.
♪
All aboard!
Ms. Beaumont,
telegram for you.
Thank you.
Hurry up, ladies.
My honey's got a new club,
and he wants us
to perform tonight.
Ain't it great?
♪
You okay, hon?
Yeah, just feeling
a bit queasy.
You know, what'll help?
A big plate of eggs,
bacon, and hotcakes.
There'll be breakfast
at the new club, I'm sure.
We should probably be
on our way to New York.
Well, shucks, the train
to the Big Apple leaves
once a day at 8:00 a.m.
It's half past already.
Damn it.
Don't fret.
You can just come with me.
No, we don't want to impose--
That sounds perfect.
There's nothing else to do
other than wait around
at the station, right?
Well, aces, follow me.
My stomach's telling me
something off with these guys.
Your stomach is telling you
to get some free food.
♪
Okay, Zari, things are coming
right along.
That is good.
Need better than good.
I need epic.
I need a gimmick, a hook of...
♪
I need a show.
B, Eddie?
Okay, I need you guys to get
out there and spread the word.
I have the one thing that's
going to set this party off.
For one night,
and one night only,
the Bullet Blondes are going
to put on the greatest show
this town has ever seen,
wha!
Wait, we're gonna do what?
So you're saying we can get
the word out with just one guy?
More than sure.
You want a secret kept?
You make sure Ricky is
the last one to know.
Mm.
Eddie, heard about the club.
Are you doing all right?
Peaches, Ricky.
Say, can you keep a secret?
♪
The Bullet Blondes.
Really.
The password is Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Ain't this Eddie's place?
Rehearsal in five, ladies.
Now let's see about
getting you some breakfast.
Maude!
Hi, baby cakes.
We're home.
A nice new spot
you've got here.
Can't wait to get
a wiggle on.
What's this I hear
about you firing Donny?
Donny was not a very
good manager, baby.
See here, Ms. Astra here
helped me draw up new terms
for a proper manager.
Give me that.
Garbage.
This is what happens
when you do things without me.
I knew that the whole tour
was a bad idea.
Your manager is whoever
I say it is, understood?
Yes. I understand.
New band member?
Put her up front.
Give the audience
something to look at.
Tonight is a big night, baby.
Mr. Williams
from RCA will be here.
So get those getaway sticks
to rehearsals so you
can sing open his checkbook
and get us a record deal.
Maude, wait.
Hey, what was that?
What do you mean, hon?
In front of your boyfriend,
you just disappeared.
I know he can be
a little rough sometimes,
but he's just got
his preferences.
You know how it is.
No, tell me.
He found me when I was
nothing but a string bean
with an undisciplined
set of pipes.
I'm thankful.
I really am.
You heard.
Even RCA is coming
to see little old me.
When he says "sing,"
I ask what song,
What happens when you don't
feel like singing?
You just don't get it.
Ross loves me,
and I owe him everything.
♪
Ross?
Ross Bottoni.
♪
♪ Lately,
I've been rung around ♪
♪ Tossed and turned about
♪
♪ Could this be the end?
Maude's boyfriend,
I know him.
Ross Bottoni.
I met him in hell.
He talked
about my getaway sticks,
so I covered him in his worst
fear, a thousand tiny spiders.
That man is a monster.
We have to help her.
Astra, if we try
to rescue every woman
in a bad relationship
from here to New York,
we'll never get a mile
out of Chicago.
Maude chose this.
This is her life.
She said so.
Nobody chooses this.
They find themselves
in too deep,
and they have to grab onto
whatever they can
to keep from drowning.
That is not a choice.
That is survival, Spooner.
♪
You know,
maybe she'll be okay.
Gideon?
What happens to Maude?
Is this a test?
I'm meant to be playing
the quiet game.
Forget the quiet game.
Will she be okay?
♪
The body of Maude Beaumont
will be found floating
in the Chicago River
December 18th, 1925.
Her death is ruled
as a homicide,
but no charges
are formally brought.
♪
♪ Are you pretend?
Astra--
I don't care if this is how
it's supposed to happen.
I'm gonna save Maude,
and there is nothing
you can do to stop me.
♪
Gary, I need you to make sure
the silks are secure.
We can't have it falling down
during the big show, yeah?
Absolutely, Zari.
And can I just say, I think
you're doing a fantastic job
leading us on this mission.
I know.
♪
It's pathological with you,
isn't it?
What are you talking about?
You have a crush on Zari.
What, no.
Gary.
You know what's happening here.
It's not a real crush.
Zari's triggering your
attraction to powerful people.
Think about it,
Kayla, Ava, John--
Shh!
She might hear you.
You get off being bossed
around, you little sicko.
You're just figuring
this out now?
Gary, don't you want to be
with someone
who respects you
for the alien you are?
No, not really.
I'm worried about you, Gare.
I'm worried about you, too,
but I don't go around
shaming your pathology, do I?
My pathology?
What pathology?
That you find yourself
in these relationships
that can't go anywhere.
So you don't have to
put yourself
in the vulnerable position
of really giving yourself
to another person
because you have the excuse
of timelines or totems
holding you back.
What?
Okay, gang!
The Blondes have been
rehearsing like crazy.
The mood is set.
And the whiskey is literally
all you can drink.
Are we ready to party?
I'm ready to party
all night long
because I'm in a relationship.
You do need to define
what that means though?
Define whatever you needed
to define,
but I needed to do it
as a doorman with good vibes.
Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
Hey, remember.
Good vibes.
No, great vibes.
Yeah, great vibes.
I can fix that.
I think.
Hey, Zari, do we have
to do this in heels?
Yes, it's a whole--
Is everything good?
Eddie, everything is perfect.
It's a Zari party.
♪
Hiya, Ross Bottoni.
You're here
to hear my gal, Maude.
She's got the best pipes
in the business.
Come this way.
We got a table
for you in the front.
♪
Maude, you have to leave.
Leave it be, will you?
Can't believe I'm the first
broad you ever met
with a grumpy guy.
Besides,
I'm not gonna hit the road
right before
the greatest show of my life.
If you stay,
he will kill you.
Save the drama
for the stage, honey.
It ain't gonna work on me.
Look, you know it's true.
You feel it in your gut
every time you think of him.
It twists your insides
every time he speaks.
You wanna vomit every time
he touches you.
You're terrified.
And you should be.
♪
There's a better life
for you out there, Maude.
Trust me, I know.
♪
This is crazy.
What about the performance?
He's gonna know the second
the curtain rises
that something's up.
And the girls, he's gonna
take it out on them.
We'll take care of Ross.
Just go, please,
before it's too late.
♪
Oh, thank you.
You know, I always said
gals help gals
and make new pals.
You gals are some of the best
I ever met.
♪
Thank you.
For what?
She knew you were right.
And I guess I knew
you were right, too.
♪
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I announce to you
the lovely and mysterious,
Masqueradies.
Okay, uh, maybe I can put
a glamour on you,
and then you can look
like Maude,
which means you can sing,
and then--
I don't know the words
to this corny song.
Why can't you do it?
Wait.
both: Where's Gideon?
♪
♪
♪ Lately,
I've been wrung around ♪
♪ Tossed and turned about
♪ Could this be the end?
♪
It sounds like
she knows the words.
♪ To my genuine surprise
♪ I've met the gaze
of those blue eyes ♪
♪
♪ Doll face, are you
♪ Pretend?
♪ She's my future favorite
♪ My love, no denying it
♪ So very dizzy
for this dame ♪
♪
♪ Take me down the boulevard
♪ Then around
this crazy world of ours ♪
♪ Please don't say
it's all a game ♪
♪
♪
Zari, what's with the face?
Look around, everyone's here.
Yeah, I know.
I just, I know
I'm missing something.
What am I forgetting?
Me, me.
I'm forgetting me.
I should've been
in hair and makeup.
Definitely done
an outfit change.
Who cares?
Look, what's happening tonight
is a one-time special.
Be in the moment, here, now.
♪
Let's dance before
some blondes steal the show.
Okay.
♪
Rutabaga.
♪
Ladies and gentlemen,
the silver shooting
sinners themselves,
the Bullet Blondes!
♪
Rutabaga.
Mm-hmm.
♪
Last time you saw Zari,
how did you end things?
We're still together.
We didn't break up.
Yeah,
but how's that working out?
What is the plan there?
Oh, my God,
we love each other, Gary.
You're not answering
my question.
It's not the--not now, Gary.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
♪
You can't put it off forever,
Nate!
You need to discuss
what it means to be all-in.
Otherwise, you will have one
foot out of the door or totem.
Shut up, Gary!
♪
♪ We've been forced
to hide away ♪
♪ Our hearts
until a better day ♪
♪ Now we are breaking
down the door ♪
♪
♪ Stand clear,
bearcats coming through ♪
♪ My dear,
I'm so in love with you ♪
♪ Hotsie-totsie dancer
on the floor ♪
♪ She's my future favorite
♪ My love, no denying it
♪ So very dizzy
for this dame ♪
♪ Take me down the boulevard
♪ Then around
this crazy world of ours ♪
♪ Please don't say
it's all a game ♪
Whoo!
Whoo-hoo!
Wait, where's Hoover?
♪ Time flies, so savor it
♪ Let's toast
and raise ourselves a glass ♪
♪
♪ Cheers to all the memories
♪ Facing danger,
solving mysteries ♪
♪ In the present, future,
and the past ♪
♪
♪ Sweetheart,
our love is made to ♪
♪ Sweetheart,
our love is made to ♪
♪ Sweetheart,
our love is made to last ♪
♪
crowd:
Whoo!
We're not sisters.
♪
Yo, that was incredible,
Gideon.
Way to put those pipes to use.
My voice was well-rested.
Way to croon, sweet cakes.
Come out front so the nice man
can meet you.
What's the big idea?
Where the hell is Maude?
Far away from here by now.
Who the hell are you,
and what happened to my girl?
I'm Astra Logue, you idiot.
And Maude is gone.
You'll never see her again.
You think you're clever, huh?
She'll come crawling back.
You know, where I grew up,
we had this knack
of finding out
what people are most afraid of
in the entire world.
And you think
you're so tough and strong.
But I know the truth,
what you're really afraid of.
Spiders, wasn't it?
Yeah, right.
♪
Really?
You're not afraid
of an infinite amount
of tiny little spiders
all over your body?
♪
Crawling under your skin,
scurrying into your nose,
ears, your mouth?
♪
You've seen what my friend
and I can do, Ross.
So if you ever go after Maude,
if you even think about her--
Spiders everywhere forever.
♪
Gals help gals, you jerk.
No!
Hey ladies, we're gonna try
to make it to the end
of the Blondes' set,
do you wanna come?
What are you talking about?
Didn't you hear?
The Bullet Blondes are putting
on a performance right now
at Chapeaux's.
We're gonna try to catch
the rest of the party.
Legends, vamanos.
Go, go, go, go!
Um--
You're right
about me and Zari.
We are a bit stuck.
But I've been okay with it
because, well, I'm afraid
of what comes next.
Well, it sounds like you
and Z need to have the talk.
And then Gare-Bear, he's here
to talk after the talk.
Thank you, Gary.
It's enough for a small
place, but that's all I need.
And I don't know how
I'll ever repay you.
Oh, you just keep your doors
open for all Chicago's misfits,
and we will call it even.
No, no, no.
♪
Guys, check the doors.
♪
They were here.
♪
Don't worry, Legends.
We're on our way
to the Big Apple.
♪
So I mean,
technically speaking,
using you two as bait
to lure Hoover-bot here
was an inadvertently brilliant
stroke of genius on my part.
Well, you still got
a couple of hours left
of calling the shots, so...
I do appreciate
the trust, Captain,
but when it comes to robots,
you're talking
to the wrong Zari.
Oh, while I'm gone,
will you guys keep an eye out
for my cell phone?
Bye.
Oh, what's up, guys?
Huh.
What'd I miss?
♪
Greg, move your head.
All right.
We gotta ditch Hoover's car.
APB's probably already out
on the Bullet Blondes.
It's fine.
From here, we'll just
hop a train to New York.
Ugh.
Another train, must we?
By my math, we should have
enough left for three tickets.
The other half can hang out in
John's portable phantom house.
I mean, it's technically
my portable phantom house.
But, more importantly,
does your math account
for Gary's
overly generous tipping?
He gave our last waitress
20 bucks.
$20--that's over a quarter
of our entire budget, Gary.
$20 for a six top
seems fair to me.
Okay, so what's the damage?
Do we have enough
to get to New York?
$35, that's enough
for one ticket and a few meals,
tipping like a normal person
in 1925.
All right, I call phantom
house 'cause I'm over trains.
We still have to get
across town and on that train,
without anyone recognizing us.
Shh.
Well, then we stopped
at the right place.
Huh.
♪
Oh.
I think, yes.
Yes, it's very cute.
But we need
to hide the blonde, babe.
How about this?
Yes.
Ah, yes, it worked.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
We're in the 1920s.
That is not the look.
Okay.
Sir, can we see all your wigs
that are bobs?
♪
Um, hello?
Potential customer here.
I asked you a question,
which any good salesman
would take as an opportunity
to upsell your finest wigs?
Is he...
Um, hello?
Yeah, she asked you a question.
Oh, I'm sorry, miss.
I didn't realize
she was with you.
These are the only bobs
on display
since most of you ladies
chop and style your own.
That's not happening.
Well, of course,
not with those gorgeous locks.
Let me see
what I can find in the back.
Racist dick.
I'm sorry.
Let's just get these disguises
and get outta here, yeah?
Yeah, it's okay.
Sorry.
Is it just me, or...
We probably should have
ditched Hoover's car
before entering the city.
Yeah, come on.
Come on.
Hey, hey, hey.
The police found Hoover's car.
They are onto us.
We got to get out of here.
I've got bobs in the three
different shades,
a brunette, a redhead--
We'll take them both.
Oh, there's also a blonde.
both: No blondes.
Okay,
how much for the two wigs?
Wait a minute.
Are you two--
No.
They are definitely not the--
whatever you were gonna say.
♪
Guys, we gotta hustle.
Okay.
Here's what's gonna happen.
You're gonna help us
sneak out of here unnoticed,
and we will buy these wigs
at double wholesale.
Triple.
That is robbery.
Look, who's talking,
Bullet Blondes.
They're crossing the street.
♪
You gotta be kid--
Aves.
Are you serious?
Give him the money.
Ugh!
Go, just go, come on.
♪
Wig, wig, wig, wig, wig.
Yeah, here you go.
Here you go.
Put it on.
Thank you.
Good, good, good, good.
He said they were
the Bullet Blondes!
They couldn't have gotten
very far!
♪
This is literally
our only option.
Great, then put the key in.
We can hide out here
until the coast is clear.
♪
Hey.
Hey.
You looking
for the Sapphire String?
Maybe.
You got the password?
Wh--
Uh...
Swordfish.
So he meant salamander.
Satellite.
Sword fighter.
Are we doing this?
Are we really fishing
for a stupid password
so we can get out
of garbage alley?
Gang, we're screwed.
We have no money, no allies.
This time period sucks
for anyone
who's not white, male,
and rich.
And only one of us--it's you--
is at least
two of those things.
You said the password.
Come on in.
Wait, what was it?
Password.
Ah, I see what you did there.
Password.
The password is "password"?
Welcome to my club.
Name's Eddie.
Sorry it's a little quiet
right now.
Running a little low
on the drinks.
We're at a speakeasy.
A very inclusive one,
considering.
Considering what?
Well, the mob had
a tight grip
on these establishments
and kept them segregated.
But it looks like we stumbled
into one that caters
to everyone, which is rare.
I guess that's why
the password is "password."
You play brother?
I noodle.
Come make us some pasta.
Well...
♪
What have we got here?
E flat?
E flat, brother.
Classic.
Yeah.
♪
This is so degrading.
This is so exciting.
Okay, look, we got through
step one, sneak onto the train.
Step two is the ride
to Chicago.
Steps?
Who died and made you Ava?
We're going to New York
to prevent that from happening.
And that reminds me,
don't talk to anyone
any more than we have to.
We can't mess up the timeline.
Okay, Captain Sharpe.
That's Spooner Cruz.
The most important thing
is to avoid any suspicion
for sneaking onto the train.
Tickets, please.
Crap.
Let's go, let's go.
Tickets--hey, hey,
I need to see your tickets!
You trying to sneak on my train
without a ticket?
What--no,
I just had it in my hands.
Yeah, maybe I dropped it
while we were moving.
You're off the next stop.
Stella, why are you
bothering this nice ticket man?
I apologize if these three
have given you any trouble.
These ladies are with you?
You're looking
at the best pianist, bassist,
and clarinetist
you'll ever hear.
Just ask my boyfriend,
Mr. Bottoni.
Of course,
our train tickets are
all in our manager's pocket.
You're welcome to wake him
from his beauty rest.
But I have to warn you,
he has quite the temper.
You all enjoy your trip.
I'm Maude.
And we're The Masqueradies.
Welcome to the band.
♪
Any mention
of an exploded Hoover?
According to this,
he's still alive and well
and ready to take on the most
notorious criminals,
Capone and the Bullet Blondes.
It's only a matter of time,
babe.
He's after us.
So there's a new
and improved Hoover-bot?
Great.
What else does the paper say?
Oh, that we're bootleggers
and robbers.
And, worst of all,
we're sisters.
Sisters?
We can't go on like this.
And we can't rob another bank
because it'll call too much
attention,
and we have no money.
What are we gonna do?
♪
Well, maybe it's time to give
our other enterprise a shot.
♪
Wow, you made this yourself?
Plenty more where
that came from.
All we ask is access to your
storage room for the night
and 25% of the bar.
What do you want
with my storage room?
20%, no questions.
We got a deal.
All right,
let's move some booze.
♪
The car was impounded
an hour ago.
Your ears
to the ground, boys.
Bullet blondes are in Chicago,
and they're bound
to make their move soon.
You really got us out of
a sticky situation back there.
Oh, it was plain as day
that you needed a hand.
Believe me, I've been there.
Gals help gals
and make new pals.
That's how I see it.
If we don't look out
for one another who will, men?
Men don't look out,
they look at,
if you know what I mean.
You're referring
to the rampant commodification
of females by males
that is a societal norm
of this decade.
You talk funny.
I like it.
My name's Susie Spencer.
Susan Spencer.
Marries Colin Baker in 1928,
has four children,
retires in Florida,
and dies peace--
That's enough talking,
Gideon.
You're supposed to be resting
your voice, remember?
Oh.
Time to play the quiet game.
Oh, the game invented
by parents to quell
their irritating children,
got it.
So you're a jazz band
called the Masqueradies?
I know it's a silly moniker.
We wear fancy masks
as part of our shtick.
Not that it made
a lick of difference
on our East Coast tour.
We barely broke even.
You know how it is,
being musicians yourselves.
She's resting her voice?
Right, yeah.
Gideon here is
the Lark of London.
Uh, Spoo--Esperanza is
her vocal coach.
And I am her manager,
A manager?
Oh, my, they do things
differently in London.
Don't they?
Yeah.
Between us gals,
I would kill to have a woman
managing our business.
Mm-hmm.
Donny over there is just
an overpaid bodyguard really.
Is that so?
Can I take a look
at your contract?
Sure, I have it right here.
♪
♪
That's a strange-looking
compact.
Oh, yeah.
It's from California
by way of China.
You know, business is
really picking up in here.
Yeah, it's 'cause
the word got out
that we got the good stuff.
What can I get for you?
Whiskey or the rocks
or straight up?
Oh, neither.
I don't drink.
For health or faith?
Faith.
Okay.
Soda water with lemon
on the house.
Thank you.
Salamati.
Salamati.
♪
Helps to know cheers
in different languages.
I get all kinds in here.
Yeah.
That your brother?
Yeah, it is.
I've actually never heard
him play like that before.
And you never will again.
Because what's going on up
there is a one-time special.
Oh, right.
Those three guys are
feeling the vibe,
riffing off what the other guys
are bringing to the moment.
You can't recreate that.
Yeah, well, where I'm from,
we have a saying,
"Pics or it didn't happen."
A picture couldn't describe
the here and now.
Here, now, it forces you
to pay attention.
Just let it roll on
over you like a wave.
♪
This is a catastrophe.
When did you sign this?
About three years ago
when we first formed the band.
Okay, good.
Hey, blubber butt, wake up!
You don't wanna do that.
It says here
that you're taking 60%.
Criminal, mind you,
and yet you still
don't have these ladies riding
in first-class accommodation?
Are you lazy
or stupid or both?
You're telling me
how to do my job?
What's a colored girl like you
know anything about contracts?
Where I'm from, managers and
producers are a dime a dozen.
I learned from
Phil Spector himself.
There's a clause here
that says these terms expire
after 24 months.
This paperwork is defunct.
So I suggest
that you draw up a new contract
that will actually benefit
your clients, not exploit them.
You can't make me
do anything.
True, I can't.
But she can.
♪
You're fired.
What do you mean, fired?
You are out of a job,
you low life.
So we'll be taking these.
Permuto.
Would you look at that?
These are
for the first-class cabin.
Grab your gear, girls,
you just got upgraded.
♪
♪
Cheers!
♪
Where's my wife?
I want to brag to her about
how I solved all our problems
with some good
old fashioned bootlegging
She is taking a siesta
in the mansion.
She said her wig was too itchy,
probably synthetic.
I kinda wish
we could stay longer.
Well, no can do, B.
Train for New York
leaves at 8:00 a.m.
We gotta find
this Gwynn Davies guy,
so he can invent us some time
travel, and boom.
Here's the rest.
We got all we need you.
You keep it.
Thanks.
Hey, you sure you
all can fit back there?
No questions.
Well, tonight was
eye-opening.
You all are welcome
back anytime.
And I know you mean that.
Good luck, Eddie.
♪
♪ Eddie
Been a while.
Evening, Mr. Bottoni.
When I rented you this place
it was just a bunch
of curtains and a gramophone.
Now look at it.
Looks good, almost classy.
Thank you.
Things sure do change.
For example, I told you,
you could rent
my little space for cheap,
and I'd supply you
with your liquor.
And what do I hear
but you got another source.
♪
Eddie?
My God.
Oh, my God, are you okay?
Help!
Help, we need help in here!
Zari?
He's hurt.
What?
You're the Bullet Blondes?
Oh, no.
Eddie, what happened to you?
Yeah, who did this to you?
You did.
We can explain.
I think I understand
just fine.
You conned me.
You put me in the middle
of a damn mob war.
And now, because of you,
I don't own this bar anymore.
How does that work?
My landlord, he's a mobster.
He found out I worked with you
and took the whole thing back.
Everything I had was
in this bar, and now it's gone
'cause of one night with you.
Eddie--
No, just go.
The mob will be here soon,
so you better not be.
♪
You're just going to
let him leave like that.
What are we supposed to do?
We can't take down
the entire Chicago mob,
our train leaves
in a few hours.
A train we'd have no way
of affording
if it weren't for his help.
He's the only one
who's opened his doors to us.
In fact, he's the only
open-minded person
we've met on this entire trip.
We have to fix this.
Yeah, but how?
Money, money.
Money can fix anything.
If you hand me the reins
for 24 hours,
I will help Eddie make
enough money
to get back on his feet,
and then some.
It's just, we said small
footprints to the timeline.
Aves, we can't keep leaving
the timeline
worse than we found it.
This place is one of
the few safe spaces that exist
in this entire
crummy time period.
I'm not gonna be able to sleep
knowing we had a hand
in destroying it, are you?
Let's do it.
Thank you.
Zari's really wearing
the pants on this mission.
I think I like it.
♪
What could you possibly
show me
that's gonna change anything?
Just patience, please.
You know, it's locked.
Can you help me
find the key?
Maybe over there?
A key?
Mm-hmm.
Just around?
Mm-hmm.
You know what?
I found it.
What is with you people
and storage rooms?
It's a fair observation,
but just give it a chance.
Okay?
♪
Okay, picture the main
dance floor here,
a more exclusive lounge
over here.
No smoking of course,
but darker, sexier.
The bar over there.
Whoa, give me a second here.
♪
Eddie,
can I be real with you?
I know a thing or two about
throwing an excellent soiree,
and I'm going to throw
you the biggest fundraiser
of the season.
Buddy, you are going
to get a Zari party.
♪
All aboard!
Ms. Beaumont,
telegram for you.
Thank you.
Hurry up, ladies.
My honey's got a new club,
and he wants us
to perform tonight.
Ain't it great?
♪
You okay, hon?
Yeah, just feeling
a bit queasy.
You know, what'll help?
A big plate of eggs,
bacon, and hotcakes.
There'll be breakfast
at the new club, I'm sure.
We should probably be
on our way to New York.
Well, shucks, the train
to the Big Apple leaves
once a day at 8:00 a.m.
It's half past already.
Damn it.
Don't fret.
You can just come with me.
No, we don't want to impose--
That sounds perfect.
There's nothing else to do
other than wait around
at the station, right?
Well, aces, follow me.
My stomach's telling me
something off with these guys.
Your stomach is telling you
to get some free food.
♪
Okay, Zari, things are coming
right along.
That is good.
Need better than good.
I need epic.
I need a gimmick, a hook of...
♪
I need a show.
B, Eddie?
Okay, I need you guys to get
out there and spread the word.
I have the one thing that's
going to set this party off.
For one night,
and one night only,
the Bullet Blondes are going
to put on the greatest show
this town has ever seen,
wha!
Wait, we're gonna do what?
So you're saying we can get
the word out with just one guy?
More than sure.
You want a secret kept?
You make sure Ricky is
the last one to know.
Mm.
Eddie, heard about the club.
Are you doing all right?
Peaches, Ricky.
Say, can you keep a secret?
♪
The Bullet Blondes.
Really.
The password is Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Ain't this Eddie's place?
Rehearsal in five, ladies.
Now let's see about
getting you some breakfast.
Maude!
Hi, baby cakes.
We're home.
A nice new spot
you've got here.
Can't wait to get
a wiggle on.
What's this I hear
about you firing Donny?
Donny was not a very
good manager, baby.
See here, Ms. Astra here
helped me draw up new terms
for a proper manager.
Give me that.
Garbage.
This is what happens
when you do things without me.
I knew that the whole tour
was a bad idea.
Your manager is whoever
I say it is, understood?
Yes. I understand.
New band member?
Put her up front.
Give the audience
something to look at.
Tonight is a big night, baby.
Mr. Williams
from RCA will be here.
So get those getaway sticks
to rehearsals so you
can sing open his checkbook
and get us a record deal.
Maude, wait.
Hey, what was that?
What do you mean, hon?
In front of your boyfriend,
you just disappeared.
I know he can be
a little rough sometimes,
but he's just got
his preferences.
You know how it is.
No, tell me.
He found me when I was
nothing but a string bean
with an undisciplined
set of pipes.
I'm thankful.
I really am.
You heard.
Even RCA is coming
to see little old me.
When he says "sing,"
I ask what song,
What happens when you don't
feel like singing?
You just don't get it.
Ross loves me,
and I owe him everything.
♪
Ross?
Ross Bottoni.
♪
♪ Lately,
I've been rung around ♪
♪ Tossed and turned about
♪
♪ Could this be the end?
Maude's boyfriend,
I know him.
Ross Bottoni.
I met him in hell.
He talked
about my getaway sticks,
so I covered him in his worst
fear, a thousand tiny spiders.
That man is a monster.
We have to help her.
Astra, if we try
to rescue every woman
in a bad relationship
from here to New York,
we'll never get a mile
out of Chicago.
Maude chose this.
This is her life.
She said so.
Nobody chooses this.
They find themselves
in too deep,
and they have to grab onto
whatever they can
to keep from drowning.
That is not a choice.
That is survival, Spooner.
♪
You know,
maybe she'll be okay.
Gideon?
What happens to Maude?
Is this a test?
I'm meant to be playing
the quiet game.
Forget the quiet game.
Will she be okay?
♪
The body of Maude Beaumont
will be found floating
in the Chicago River
December 18th, 1925.
Her death is ruled
as a homicide,
but no charges
are formally brought.
♪
♪ Are you pretend?
Astra--
I don't care if this is how
it's supposed to happen.
I'm gonna save Maude,
and there is nothing
you can do to stop me.
♪
Gary, I need you to make sure
the silks are secure.
We can't have it falling down
during the big show, yeah?
Absolutely, Zari.
And can I just say, I think
you're doing a fantastic job
leading us on this mission.
I know.
♪
It's pathological with you,
isn't it?
What are you talking about?
You have a crush on Zari.
What, no.
Gary.
You know what's happening here.
It's not a real crush.
Zari's triggering your
attraction to powerful people.
Think about it,
Kayla, Ava, John--
Shh!
She might hear you.
You get off being bossed
around, you little sicko.
You're just figuring
this out now?
Gary, don't you want to be
with someone
who respects you
for the alien you are?
No, not really.
I'm worried about you, Gare.
I'm worried about you, too,
but I don't go around
shaming your pathology, do I?
My pathology?
What pathology?
That you find yourself
in these relationships
that can't go anywhere.
So you don't have to
put yourself
in the vulnerable position
of really giving yourself
to another person
because you have the excuse
of timelines or totems
holding you back.
What?
Okay, gang!
The Blondes have been
rehearsing like crazy.
The mood is set.
And the whiskey is literally
all you can drink.
Are we ready to party?
I'm ready to party
all night long
because I'm in a relationship.
You do need to define
what that means though?
Define whatever you needed
to define,
but I needed to do it
as a doorman with good vibes.
Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
Hey, remember.
Good vibes.
No, great vibes.
Yeah, great vibes.
I can fix that.
I think.
Hey, Zari, do we have
to do this in heels?
Yes, it's a whole--
Is everything good?
Eddie, everything is perfect.
It's a Zari party.
♪
Hiya, Ross Bottoni.
You're here
to hear my gal, Maude.
She's got the best pipes
in the business.
Come this way.
We got a table
for you in the front.
♪
Maude, you have to leave.
Leave it be, will you?
Can't believe I'm the first
broad you ever met
with a grumpy guy.
Besides,
I'm not gonna hit the road
right before
the greatest show of my life.
If you stay,
he will kill you.
Save the drama
for the stage, honey.
It ain't gonna work on me.
Look, you know it's true.
You feel it in your gut
every time you think of him.
It twists your insides
every time he speaks.
You wanna vomit every time
he touches you.
You're terrified.
And you should be.
♪
There's a better life
for you out there, Maude.
Trust me, I know.
♪
This is crazy.
What about the performance?
He's gonna know the second
the curtain rises
that something's up.
And the girls, he's gonna
take it out on them.
We'll take care of Ross.
Just go, please,
before it's too late.
♪
Oh, thank you.
You know, I always said
gals help gals
and make new pals.
You gals are some of the best
I ever met.
♪
Thank you.
For what?
She knew you were right.
And I guess I knew
you were right, too.
♪
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I announce to you
the lovely and mysterious,
Masqueradies.
Okay, uh, maybe I can put
a glamour on you,
and then you can look
like Maude,
which means you can sing,
and then--
I don't know the words
to this corny song.
Why can't you do it?
Wait.
both: Where's Gideon?
♪
♪
♪ Lately,
I've been wrung around ♪
♪ Tossed and turned about
♪ Could this be the end?
♪
It sounds like
she knows the words.
♪ To my genuine surprise
♪ I've met the gaze
of those blue eyes ♪
♪
♪ Doll face, are you
♪ Pretend?
♪ She's my future favorite
♪ My love, no denying it
♪ So very dizzy
for this dame ♪
♪
♪ Take me down the boulevard
♪ Then around
this crazy world of ours ♪
♪ Please don't say
it's all a game ♪
♪
♪
Zari, what's with the face?
Look around, everyone's here.
Yeah, I know.
I just, I know
I'm missing something.
What am I forgetting?
Me, me.
I'm forgetting me.
I should've been
in hair and makeup.
Definitely done
an outfit change.
Who cares?
Look, what's happening tonight
is a one-time special.
Be in the moment, here, now.
♪
Let's dance before
some blondes steal the show.
Okay.
♪
Rutabaga.
♪
Ladies and gentlemen,
the silver shooting
sinners themselves,
the Bullet Blondes!
♪
Rutabaga.
Mm-hmm.
♪
Last time you saw Zari,
how did you end things?
We're still together.
We didn't break up.
Yeah,
but how's that working out?
What is the plan there?
Oh, my God,
we love each other, Gary.
You're not answering
my question.
It's not the--not now, Gary.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
♪
You can't put it off forever,
Nate!
You need to discuss
what it means to be all-in.
Otherwise, you will have one
foot out of the door or totem.
Shut up, Gary!
♪
♪ We've been forced
to hide away ♪
♪ Our hearts
until a better day ♪
♪ Now we are breaking
down the door ♪
♪
♪ Stand clear,
bearcats coming through ♪
♪ My dear,
I'm so in love with you ♪
♪ Hotsie-totsie dancer
on the floor ♪
♪ She's my future favorite
♪ My love, no denying it
♪ So very dizzy
for this dame ♪
♪ Take me down the boulevard
♪ Then around
this crazy world of ours ♪
♪ Please don't say
it's all a game ♪
Whoo!
Whoo-hoo!
Wait, where's Hoover?
♪ Time flies, so savor it
♪ Let's toast
and raise ourselves a glass ♪
♪
♪ Cheers to all the memories
♪ Facing danger,
solving mysteries ♪
♪ In the present, future,
and the past ♪
♪
♪ Sweetheart,
our love is made to ♪
♪ Sweetheart,
our love is made to ♪
♪ Sweetheart,
our love is made to last ♪
♪
crowd:
Whoo!
We're not sisters.
♪
Yo, that was incredible,
Gideon.
Way to put those pipes to use.
My voice was well-rested.
Way to croon, sweet cakes.
Come out front so the nice man
can meet you.
What's the big idea?
Where the hell is Maude?
Far away from here by now.
Who the hell are you,
and what happened to my girl?
I'm Astra Logue, you idiot.
And Maude is gone.
You'll never see her again.
You think you're clever, huh?
She'll come crawling back.
You know, where I grew up,
we had this knack
of finding out
what people are most afraid of
in the entire world.
And you think
you're so tough and strong.
But I know the truth,
what you're really afraid of.
Spiders, wasn't it?
Yeah, right.
♪
Really?
You're not afraid
of an infinite amount
of tiny little spiders
all over your body?
♪
Crawling under your skin,
scurrying into your nose,
ears, your mouth?
♪
You've seen what my friend
and I can do, Ross.
So if you ever go after Maude,
if you even think about her--
Spiders everywhere forever.
♪
Gals help gals, you jerk.
No!
Hey ladies, we're gonna try
to make it to the end
of the Blondes' set,
do you wanna come?
What are you talking about?
Didn't you hear?
The Bullet Blondes are putting
on a performance right now
at Chapeaux's.
We're gonna try to catch
the rest of the party.
Legends, vamanos.
Go, go, go, go!
Um--
You're right
about me and Zari.
We are a bit stuck.
But I've been okay with it
because, well, I'm afraid
of what comes next.
Well, it sounds like you
and Z need to have the talk.
And then Gare-Bear, he's here
to talk after the talk.
Thank you, Gary.
It's enough for a small
place, but that's all I need.
And I don't know how
I'll ever repay you.
Oh, you just keep your doors
open for all Chicago's misfits,
and we will call it even.
No, no, no.
♪
Guys, check the doors.
♪
They were here.
♪
Don't worry, Legends.
We're on our way
to the Big Apple.
♪
So I mean,
technically speaking,
using you two as bait
to lure Hoover-bot here
was an inadvertently brilliant
stroke of genius on my part.
Well, you still got
a couple of hours left
of calling the shots, so...
I do appreciate
the trust, Captain,
but when it comes to robots,
you're talking
to the wrong Zari.
Oh, while I'm gone,
will you guys keep an eye out
for my cell phone?
Bye.
Oh, what's up, guys?
Huh.
What'd I miss?
♪
Greg, move your head.