Legends of Tomorrow (2016–…): Season 7, Episode 1 - The Bullet Blondes - full transcript
The Legends are trapped in 1925 when someone uses a future Waverider to blow up their Waverider.
I'm telling you, I know what I saw.
There was a dinosaur creature
running right through my backyard.
You don't say.
And there were glowing lights
coming from tree tops.
You don't say.
And these giant orbs fell from the sky.
You don 't say.
Then after I came out of hiding,
they'd all disappeared.
Something ain't right.
Well, that's that.
Yeah, I'm kind of nervous.
Things rarely wrap up
in a neat little bow for us.
Oh, come on, babe. Don't be paranoid.
Life is gonna start going our way.
Whoa!
What the hell?
What the hell happened?
Did that look like
another Wa verider to you guys?
Why is someone
trying to kill us?
There must be
hundreds of reasons
why someone would want to kill us.
Well, we're not gonna let him
get away with it, are we?
I say we portal back in time
and onto that rogue Wa verider
and make them pay!
That is a perfect plan!
Now, let's go gear up,
'cause we're gonna storm that ship,
and save our Wa verider.
Remember, when we get on that ship,
stealth is our friend.
Silent takedown. Got it.
Wake me when the fire fight starts.
You guys take out the crew
and Behrad and I'll take control
of the ship.
Nate, let's do this.
Here we go.
It's out of juice.
- What?
- Every time with those things.
No Time Courier is no Wa verider.
We're stuck in 1925.
Everybody just calm down.
We just need a little time.
We'll think of a plan.
Well, we definitely don't belong
in this time period.
We need to avoid any unwanted attention
from the locals.
Afternoon, ma'am. Name's Pastor Hanson.
Is Gloria home?
Yeah, she's not here right now.
I just heard this loud explosion
over yonder
and I wanted to make sure
everything's all right.
- Flash him.
- What?
Well, you know, there's all sorts
of strange things happening in Odessa.
Everyone in town has seen
these bizarre lights in the sky,
and strange lizard creatures
in their backyard.
Well, that...
Nothing's strange around here.
Flash him.
It's out of battery. How?
Say, are those claw marks?
Yeah, I'll tell Gloria you stopped by.
Goodbye now.
So much for laying low.
The town's already buzzing
with conspiracy theories
after the Zaguron invasion.
You guys, if we stay here,
it could get really bad.
It's gonna be okay.
And now that we have no time ship,
we're just a bunch of weirdos
with truly random superpowers.
John, the one person with
the useful ability is gone, so...
Well, hey, I was his student.
I mean, I'm not a master sorcerer yet,
but maybe I could...
What, turn the townspeople
into household objects? Come on.
Too bad we don't have
the Time Bureau time ship,
or it would have that fail-safe.
Gary, you're a genius.
The last time the Wa verider was
impounded, I had a fail-safe installed.
And fail-safes are...
They're indestructible lockboxes
filled with emergency supplies.
Like a Time Courier, a mind flasher.
Breath mints, if we're lucky!
You realize the blast
could have sent that thing
flying anywhere
on Gloria's property, right?
So we will split up so we can find this
damn thing and get the hell out of here.
Now, let's go. Come on.
How're you holding up, Z?
If you wanna talk, I'm here to listen.
I know a thing or two
about getting dumped.
I was not dumped.
It was a mutual mucking up of things.
I am, however, annoyed that
John poofed his way out of 1925
without making sure
the rest of us were okay first.
To be fair, when he left,
we still had a working time machine.
- Defending him is not listening.
- Right. Sorry.
Continue.
I just can't believe after
everything we went through together,
all he left me with was this.
- Ooh, freaky old key.
- Yeah.
What's this for?
All he just said was, "You'll find out,"
with his trademark dramatic delivery.
In hindsight, I probably should've got
a little more clarification.
Probably.
Whatever. Just gonna do
what I always do in these situations.
I need a makeover.
No, no, no. Not a makeover.
I need a reinvention, like Madonna.
I think there's a headpiece.
Wandering through the woods.
Why am I not surprised
this is our honeymoon?
I know, babe,
but as soon as we find the safe,
then we can get out of here, all right?
Yeah. Well, I'm way out
of my comfort zone.
- Which is?
- The Wa verider.
- Lists. Rules.
- Lists. Rules.
Well, mine is improvising,
so, together, we are unstoppable.
Come on.
Based on the blast radius,
we're basically looking
for a needle in a haystack.
Look, I can track animals and people.
But random futuristic safes, not my bag.
All right, so what you got?
Any magical cheats to find this thing?
Yeah, I think I can remember
John's tracking spell.
Hey, not bad.
I think someone moved it.
That's not good.
Where did you find it, anyway?
Amongst them bushes
at the edge of Gloria Cruz's property.
Okay, good news,
we found the Wa verider's safe.
Yeah, bad news,
it's at the Sheriff's station.
Pastor found it nearby and turned it in.
That guy will come poking around again
now that he's even more
suspicious of your mom.
Yeah, and other neighbors could get nosy
and discover
the remains of the Wa verider,
which would be disastrous
for the timeline.
We just need to buy ourselves some time
so we can come up with another plan.
We need to go on the defensive.
Right, and keep the heat off
of Gloria and this property.
Yeah. And how are we supposed to do that
if we don't have time travel
or Mind Flashers?
Rule 44.
- Rule 44.
- Yeah.
- I love Rule 44.
- Yeah.
What's Rule 44?
Oh, it's from our Time Bureau training.
The intent of Rule 44
is to create a diversion.
A... A cover story when things
go sideways on a mission.
Specifically, Rule 44 states that
our cover story must be a circus.
That is oddly specific.
Are we talking Cirque, Sideshow,
straight up Three Ring affair?
No, research shows that
the general public
is willing to accept the bizarreness
of any kind of circus without question.
So, we have to put on a circus?
- What? No. We...
- No.
Jeez, that's not what we're saying.
We just have to make them
think we're a circus
to allay their suspicions.
Group makeovers.
Yes, I love it.
I'm going to reinvent
each of you as performers.
Friends, you're in excellent hands.
You heard her. Let's circus up, huh?
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
Good. 'Cause I need your magic
to help fix my mom's porch.
Sure.
Hey, Nate, while we are playing
defense as a circus,
you will be playing offense.
Time to use your superpower.
So, you want me to turn to steel
and knock around some skulls?
No. Your other superpower.
You are a white man in 1925.
You go sweet talk that sheriff,
and get him to give you the safe.
- Ava will go with you.
- What? No, I'm...
All right. Come on, Gary.
Those period costumes
aren't going to sew themselves.
Yes.
Tie... Button, please.
Voilà.
My mom's not gonna be happy
when she sees
what we've done to her stuff.
Sorry. It's desperate times.
Oh, Nate borrowed your dead dad's suit.
Hope that's okay.
He better not ruin it.
Good afternoon, Odessa.
Come one, come all.
I know you have seen and heard
some peculiar things lately.
Well, I am here to assure you that it is
just business as usual for us.
Why, you ask?
Because my compatriots and I,
we are members of the Guggenheim Circus.
You know, it's actually a very good fit.
- Hey, do I look like a grandma?
- Yeah.
You the sheriff?
Yes, sir. I was just
finishing up some paperwork.
How can I help you?
My name's John Edgar Hoover,
I'm the newly appointed director
of the Bureau of Investigation
in Washington, DC.
This is my trusted secretary,
Miss Gandy.
You seem different in real life.
You probably saw an old photo.
I've been cocktailing my hair products,
but that's neither here or there.
Now listen up, Sheriff.
We're here to talk to you
about a very important matter.
There are so many exciting things
to see at our circus.
For example, exotic animals.
My cohort and I, we are animal handlers
from a land far, far, far away!
And, of course, what circus
would be complete without a little fire?
Ow, ow, ow, ow! That's hot. That's hot.
Ah!
Now, don't be alarmed,
but several of our creatures
escaped their confinements last night!
You may have heard some explosions
or seen some
mysterious lights yesterday.
That was just me,
testing out some, uh... displays.
True story.
So, if you saw something yesterday
that looked like a dinosaur,
for example,
it was actually a Komodo dragon,
which is just a big, smelly lizard
despite its terrifying appellation.
Pastor Hanson found this strange box
over by Gloria Cruz's property.
I thought maybe it belonged to her,
since she's foreign and all.
Oh, well, we can tell you for sure
that it's not hers, sir,
but it is very dangerous.
Say, how did you boys in Washington
learn about the safe so quickly?
The pastor only found it this morning.
I mean, if I told you
all of our nation's secrets,
they wouldn't be secrets anymore,
would they?
- Yes.
- Right?
And who knows, there may even be
a commendation for you
from President Warren G. Harding
once the case is declassified, you know?
I believe she means Calvin Coolidge,
'cause Mr. Harding is dead.
People always get
their inter-war presidents mixed up.
I need you to focus.
Are you ready to do the right thing
by your country?
Mister, Mister,
tell us when the circus is.
I want to go.
When is it you ask?
Like, uh... exactly what time?
You told them what?
I'm sorry, Sara. I just panicked.
I didn't mean to invite
the whole town over tonight.
Take a breath, Gary.
We'll figure something else out.
Okay, wait, you're saying people
are coming here for an actual circus?
- All right, all right, everyone!
- Gary?
Just calm down.
Everything's going to be fine
once we open the safe.
Ah!
That's right.
When the whole town comes over,
we'll flash the hell out of them,
then we Time Courier our butts
outta here.
Yes. All right. That's right.
Another successful Legends mission
in the books.
Oh, it feels so good
to be back on track. All right.
There's no Time Courier.
There's a note.
"Taking Courier. Beer run. Rory."
- Classic.
- What?
- Son of a...
- Okay.
There's no couriers.
There's no flashers. There's no...
At least there's a Time Bureau Manual.
And Gummy Bears.
That's where I stashed
my emergency supply.
So, that's it?
Just a book and some gummies.
- No couriers.
- No flashers? No mini Gideon?
No breath mints.
Hey, look, it's okay.
You guys, it's gonna be okay.
Look, as long as the town
keeps buying our cover story,
then we'll come up with Plan B.
It's gonna be great.
That fellow wasn't Mr. Hoover at all.
Hair products, my foot!
Is this the Bureau of Investigation?
This is Sheriff Thomas Wood
of Odessa, Texas.
I've got a situation down here
you ought to know about.
Wow. So, we're really doing this?
We're living in 1925 for a spell?
1925 is a total hayseed year.
These people are covered in sun spots.
Microdermabrasion's still decades away.
Anything I know about the '20s is that
they invented a lot of dance moves.
Maybe we should just get out
of this small town and find the parties.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That goes against Rule 23,
which states that in order to limit
potential damage to the timeline,
marooned time travelers
should stay in one...
One location.
Okay, then we will stay put.
All right? We'll figure it out.
First things first.
We got the whole town
coming over tonight,
and they are expecting a circus.
We have to put on a show
to protect our cover.
If there is no circus, they may
inadvertently see the Wa verider...
No. Which violates,
like, half of this manual.
That cannot happen.
Okay, well, I just hope
that we get this done before...
Mommy!
Hi.
It looks like the humans
won the War of the Worlds.
We're all still here.
Mija, tell me why are people in town
asking about a circus on my property?
We need to talk.
Are those my curtains?
- Is that Celso's suit?
- Yes.
I don't see how the circus act gets us
any closer to getting out of here.
This is just triage, Astra,
dealing with the problem at hand.
Without the Wa verider,
we don't have a lot of options.
So, if we are to convince
these town people
that we are actually a circus,
we need to practice.
Let's go.
I want those juggling skills on point!
- You juggle, right?
- Yeah, is it that obvious?
They need to distract everyone
from seeing the remains of a time ship,
which blew up.
After the aliens attacked the house,
and we were saved by space mushroom.
Look, mija...
I'm already on thin ice here.
It's not easy for these people
to accept a magical hero
from another land living in their town.
But I trust you.
And if I am ostracized
or arrested,
then... so be it. I'll deal with it.
Because you're my daughter,
and I would do anything for you.
Looking good.
Looking good.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm pulling the plug on the circus.
What? What's wrong?
Look, what's wrong is that
this circus is going to bring
a lot of unwanted attention to my mom,
and she already feels persecuted.
This isn't just about us anymore.
Every time we try to fix something,
we just dig a bigger hole
and my mom is going to be
the one stuck paying for it.
Look, we're sorry, Spooner.
You're right. This isn't just about us.
We'll get out of town
and we'll figure something else out.
No more circus.
No more commotion.
Thank you.
Where's Astra?
What are you doing?
What does it look like I'm doing?
Well, it looks like
you're trying to fix the ship
using John's resurrection spell.
But that would be stupid because
it's for humans, not for time ships.
If John were here,
this is exactly what he would do.
Now shut up and let me concentrate.
You might wanna stand back.
- Sheriff Thomas Wood?
- In the flesh.
You called the office in DC.
about someone impersonating
a federal agent, namely me.
J. Edgar Hoover.
Luckily, we were just
down the way in Midland,
so I thought I'd pay you a visit myself.
Welcome to Odessa.
I can't believe
the top lawman in the country
is standing in my very own station.
Again. The real one this time.
Now, tell me more about this scoundrel.
Is she doing what I think she's doing?
Whatever it is, it's pretty cool.
It's likely that this imposter
is a member of the Midland Robbery Gang,
an outfit we've been tracking
for some time.
- Bank robbers.
- That's right.
And you just handed that degenerate
a brand-new safe to crack.
Now,
which way did he go?
Hell's bells,
he could be anywhere by now.
Astra,
maybe you should stop.
You know, because of the blood?
If John could do this, I can do this.
Damn it, Astra. Stop it!
Astra!
Well, Sheriff,
I reckon I know just where this imposter
is trying to blow open that safe.
Ow...
I feel like I was run over by a bus.
Yeah, since this isn't the Med Bay,
I'm guessing my spell
didn't resurrect the Wa verider.
No. It didn't.
What were you thinking?
Hey. A little sympathy?
I got injured trying to help you.
By creating another huge spectacle
at my mom's house.
Not what she needs right now.
I was the only one doing anything
to get this clown show out of Texas.
Think it through next time.
No offense,
but your mom lives in the boonies.
I doubt anyone noticed.
Someone did.
Guys,
it's J. Edgar Hoover. The real one.
He's gonna wanna know who we are.
So, we are doing the circus.
No, no. Esperanza and I,
we will talk to the men.
Astra has to stay in bed,
but the rest of you cannot be here.
Okay, um...
Go hide.
It's too open concept in here to hide.
Bedroom. Go, go, come on.
Evening, ladies.
J. Edgar Hoover,
Bureau of Investigation.
Which one of you is Gloria Cruz?
I am.
How can I help you, sir?
Heard about some
bank robbers in the area.
Unsavory fellas.
Just checking to make sure you're safe.
Well, no bank robbers.
Just enjoying a quiet afternoon.
If you don't mind, I was talking to
the owner of the property in question.
- I don't think it's working.
- Why not?
Try the closet.
It's locked.
Zari, the key.
John said we'd find out what it's for.
Maybe it's this.
Okay. Fine.
Yo.
I think we'll have a look around.
Just to be sure.
I have a patient in there.
She's recuperating.
Go. Just go.
Where are we?
The mansion?
Hey.
So, if we're in the mansion,
does that mean it's present day?
Did we make it out of 1925?
No and yes.
But we're not in any year at all.
Gary?
This isn't really the mansion. It's a...
A pocket dimension
that John made for himself.
John wanted a place
where he could be all alone, so he...
He conjured it.
So, if we go out the front door...
Is this a pocket dimension
in hell, Gary?
I recommend only exiting
through the door we came in.
Why would John give me this place?
Is it possible that man is so conceited
he thinks I need an alternate dimension
to get over him?
I don't know everything about John,
but I know he loved you.
Maybe he just thought you could use
a nice, quiet place to be alone?
Out of the spotlight for once.
Out of the spotlight.
B, I thrive in the spotlight.
It's where I'm most me.
You're acting like
I need to find myself,
but I'm not hiding. It...
There's an answer in here somewhere.
It's just a book of rules, babe.
Rules we should be following.
Okay, we almost ruined Gloria's life,
and we almost interacted with Hoover,
which means we almost changed history.
Yeah, but we didn't, huh?
Babe...
Hey, will you look at me?
I know it feels like
the walls are closing in,
but we will figure this out.
You keep saying that.
Okay, Sara? But we're getting sloppy.
And without memory flashers,
or Time Couriers, or Gideon to guide us,
we are lost. Okay?
And you really think
that manual will help?
Probably not, but I just...
I need to.
- Okay.
- Okay.
You keep reading.
I have reason to suspect
that the Midland Robbery Gang
are holed up around here.
Sheriff Wood said one of the gang
members got ahold of a peculiar safe
that was in his possession.
Do you mind
if we search your property, ma'am?
Does it really matter
if I say yes or no?
Smart woman.
Okay. I overheard Hoover leaving.
All right, guys. Let's go!
Hey.
You coming?
Actually, I think I'm gonna just...
stay for a little bit.
Oh. Good for you, sis.
And in case if you like
slowing things down a little.
What does that mean?
Oh, brother.
Come on.
Whoo.
You're back.
How did Hoover not see you guys?
We just hopped over
to another plane of existence
where space and time
don't function normally.
- No big whoop.
- You know, we could just
hide out in the mansion.
We'd be out of Gloria's way.
Hiding isn't going to get us back
to our timeline,
or help us figure out
who blew up our ship.
So, where do we go?
New York City.
Guys, the manual mentions
an obscure scientist
who laid the foundation
for all of time travel,
a guy named Dr. Gwyn Davies.
He's alive right now in 1925,
and he lives in New York.
- That could work.
- Right?
And you're okay if we leave here?
I guess. As long as we have a plan.
- Good.
- Because y'all gotta go.
I mean, J. Edgar Hoover
is suspicious of my mom.
He thinks she's harboring
some bank robbers,
the Midland Gang or something.
Hoover is indefatigable.
He's a bloodhound.
He won 't let go of our scent
until he's won.
Then let's give him what he wants.
Make him think he was right.
We will be the bank robbers.
We'll lead him out of Texas,
away from Gloria,
and all the while,
making our way to New York City.
Bank robbers were a big deal
in the 1920s.
And we'd certainly grab his attention.
Yeah, and all we have to do
is rob some banks.
I mean, yes, please.
Can I have just a word with you
for a minute?
What, you want to go on a crime spree?
I mean, I don't even like the idea
of leaving this house,
but since we have to... Listen to me,
we need to make very small footprints.
And remember,
we don't even have our equipment.
- What if somebody...
- Babe, look, you're right.
And I'm scared, too.
But I believe in us,
and I believe in our team.
We're more than time travel
and superpowers and gadgets and manuals.
We are the Legends,
and we can pull this off.
I know we can.
And as soon as we can time travel again,
we'll go and fix all the changes
that we made.
You can make a... You can make a list
of timeline IOUs. You love lists,
and then we will cross them off,
every single one.
Every single one?
Every single one.
Hmm?
Fine.
All right. Crime spree it is.
But just until we can time travel again.
I'd like to stay here
with my mom for a bit.
Astra should stay too
until she's fully recovered.
Okay, we'll just pick you guys up
after we help invent time travel.
Guys?
Hoover's back.
Y'all are gonna get my mom arrested.
Gloria?
Do you have any rope?
Gloria Cruz?
You've been withholding information.
It's the Midland Gang. They just left.
They forced us to cooperate!
They said they were going to kill us.
Come on, babe, let's go!
Hurry, Sara!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Come on, Nate! Come on! Come on, get on!
Bye now! Thank you!
Whoo!
Should've peed before we left Gloria's.
Hmm.
Sorry.
Hit the floor, boys, this is a robbery.
Hmm?
Not our first rodeo.
Whoa! Sorry, little lady. Bank's closed.
Little lady?
Who do you think you are?
Why are your teeth so pretty?
Fluoride. Now you heard me,
go on, get. Get!
This is a robbery. I know robberies.
You're running crowd control.
You heard the lady. Get on the ground.
And you? I want you to go to the safe
and get me 93 dollars and 65 cents.
Okay, okay.
- $93...
- Yeah, I did the calculation, babe.
It's all we need
to get to New York City.
Small footprints. You promised.
Give me the money!
I actually have enough here in the till.
No need to open the safe.
All right. Look, we weren't going to say
anything till after the robbery, but...
Come here.
- We're the Midland Gang.
- No way!
- Yeah.
- I love the Midland Gang!
Huge fan!
I said get all the way down
on the ground, boys.
- Ava keeps shooting the ceiling.
- She hates ceilings.
Two women?
There's no women in the Midland Gang!
You can steal money from a bank, fine.
But you don't steal
somebody's gang name!
All right, lady.
Look, we don't have a gang name, okay?
You gotta have a gang name.
It's patriotic.
Oh, oh!
What about "The Legends of Tomorrow"?
- It's wordy.
- It is.
Ooh! Ooh!
"The Bullet Blondes."
Well, it's not just Sara and Ava.
We're in the gang, too.
They're doing all the heavy lifting.
"Bullet Blondes."
Damn it, B, it is catchy.
- Hmm. The Bullet Blondes.
- The Bullet Blondes.
The Bullet Blondes.
This robbery is the work
of The Bullet Blondes.
The Bullet Blondes.
You've got to be kidding me?
Now y'all are gonna put your heads down
and count to 100
- and pretend you never saw us.
- Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait. And go about your
lives like none of this every happened.
Completing any historically significant
events you might otherwise have done.
Let's go!
Make way for The Bullet Blondes.
The Bullet Blondes! Whoo hoo!
Thank you all for your cooperation.
Sorry about the guns.
The Bullet Blondes! The Bullet Blondes!
The Bullet Blondes. I like it.
I have to admit. You were right, babe.
That went off without a hitch.
I guess
we're The Bullet Blondes now!
Come on, Gary, let's go!
Whoo, 93 dollars and 65 cents
never felt so sweet!
I don't think that's
gonna change history,
but I am gonna write it down
in our to-do ledger
just to be sure that it doesn't.
Hopefully, Hoover's on our scent
and he's gonna follow us out of town
away from Gloria's house.
Next stop, New York City.
- Whoo!
- Uh-oh. Guys, something's up ahead.
What, he already roadblocked us?
Damn, that Hoover works fast.
He's indefatigable.
It's over, Bullet Blondes.
Get out of the car
and put your hands on the ground.
- Gun it.
- What?
Are you sure?
I bet he has a pretty good aim
with that gun.
That's a good point. Nate, get behind
the wheel in case he opens fire.
- Come on, Gary. Let's go.
- Let's go, Gary.
Get your feet out of my face!
- Oh, God!
- All right, let's do it.
- Everyone else, get down.
- Get down!
I said small footprints, Sara!
Don't worry about it, babe.
We'll fix everything. I promise.
Whoo!
Yeah!
Oh! We made it!
Do you guys hear something?
Yeah.
- It's a fat...
- What?
- It's a fat bubble.
- What are you trying to say?
- Something about bubbles.
- Indefatigable!
What?
Oh, my...
What did you do?
I didn't kill him!
This is not happening.
This is not happening.
Hoover can't die! Hoover...
Hoover can't die!
Oh, my God, thank God, he's alive!
Indefatigable.
I never miss twice.
- What? What did he say?
- I don't know.
What did you say?
I said...
I never miss twice.
I killed J. Edgar Hoover.
I killed J. Edgar Hoover!
I didn't mean to.
I didn't mean to.
Hey, that... That was a...
- Sara, I am sorry.
- Oh, I know.
He's, uh...
very important to the timeline.
The timeline? The timeline is ruined!
History is ruined and...
we don't even have Gideon here
to tell us how badly we ruined it.
This is... I want to die. Goodbye.
I give up. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
Goodbye.
- Babe?
- Did we break Ava?
- Hey, babe, you okay?
- No!
Yeah, you're okay.
Look, I know I talked you into this plan
and it has admittedly gone sideways,
but we are...
We're pretty committed, okay?
So we got to see this one through.
- I can't.
- Yes, you can.
And then, when we get back to 2021,
we are gonna go on a real honeymoon.
We'll be on the beach.
We'll walk hand in hand.
We'll... We'll listen to one of your
STABcast podcasts and watch the sunset.
- It'll be like...
- STABcast!
That's it.
There are no witnesses.
We're lucky.
We gotta hit the road fast.
But first...
we gotta get rid of the body.
- Ava?
- Gary, that's your job.
Lose the glasses.
Aw!
You want me to eat one of the most
important figures of the 20th century?
We gotta get to New York
and we gotta get there fast.
We gotta find this Gwyn Davies
without messing up the timeline anymore.
And the first thing to do,
is to eat this body.
What has gotten into you?
I have been reading
true crime stories my entire life.
This is my time to shine.
Shut up and eat up, Gary.
You're in The Bullet Blondes now.
I'm a Bullet Blonde?
I swear I take no pleasure in this.
Beyond just the taste of human meat,
which, as you know, I find...
quite delicious.
Do it, Gary.
Astra, you're up?
Yeah, thought I'd make myself useful.
That's very sweet.
You're capable of so much more
than picking vegetables.
I have just recovered.
You have a terrible bedside manner.
Tell me, what did you do
to hurt yourself so much?
I tried to perform a spell
that I wasn't ready for,
and it nearly destroyed me.
God, my former mentor would be so
disappointed if he were here right now,
saying I have to be
willing to walk alone
and risk it all if I want to succeed.
You know, my mother was a great healer.
She taught me everything that she knew.
But I was terrible at it.
It wasn't until I was able
to cast off her training,
start fresh in a way
that reflected who I am,
that I truly became a healer myself.
Yeah, but...
Walk alone, sacrifice yourself,
that's what magic is about.
Your mentor taught you how he did magic.
Yeah?
But you're not him.
RIP.
So, you're just going to bury
the pieces of the Wa verider?
Well, it ain't gonna bury itself.
I'm gonna miss the old girl.
Really?
Astra Logue getting sentimental.
Look, I'm sorry I brought the cops
to your mom's place.
I don't blame you
for being pissed about it.
And I get it. You were trying to help.
I wasn't just trying
to help you, though.
I was trying to prove myself
to replace John.
I just wanted to show everyone
that I was worthy,
which I guess I'm not.
John?
We don't need another John.
We need you.
Astra, I...
I wasn't mad about the cops.
I mean, I wasn't happy about them,
but I was upset that you almost died.
I like having you around.
You're like my best friend.
No one's ever said that to me.
But you're mine, too.
Good.
And if anything goes wrong,
we'll handle it.
I got your back.
You know, it's too bad.
I almost finished that spell.
Hmm. You didn't finish it?
No, it was too much for me.
I bet John would've finished it.
That was the last word.
Sounds mysterious.
Wish Gideon was here
to make us a nice steak.
Steak? I wish Gideon was here
to make us a drink.
- Mezcal.
- Mezcal.
Who the hell is that?
Ay dios mio!
- Gideon?
- Gideon?
There was a dinosaur creature
running right through my backyard.
You don't say.
And there were glowing lights
coming from tree tops.
You don't say.
And these giant orbs fell from the sky.
You don 't say.
Then after I came out of hiding,
they'd all disappeared.
Something ain't right.
Well, that's that.
Yeah, I'm kind of nervous.
Things rarely wrap up
in a neat little bow for us.
Oh, come on, babe. Don't be paranoid.
Life is gonna start going our way.
Whoa!
What the hell?
What the hell happened?
Did that look like
another Wa verider to you guys?
Why is someone
trying to kill us?
There must be
hundreds of reasons
why someone would want to kill us.
Well, we're not gonna let him
get away with it, are we?
I say we portal back in time
and onto that rogue Wa verider
and make them pay!
That is a perfect plan!
Now, let's go gear up,
'cause we're gonna storm that ship,
and save our Wa verider.
Remember, when we get on that ship,
stealth is our friend.
Silent takedown. Got it.
Wake me when the fire fight starts.
You guys take out the crew
and Behrad and I'll take control
of the ship.
Nate, let's do this.
Here we go.
It's out of juice.
- What?
- Every time with those things.
No Time Courier is no Wa verider.
We're stuck in 1925.
Everybody just calm down.
We just need a little time.
We'll think of a plan.
Well, we definitely don't belong
in this time period.
We need to avoid any unwanted attention
from the locals.
Afternoon, ma'am. Name's Pastor Hanson.
Is Gloria home?
Yeah, she's not here right now.
I just heard this loud explosion
over yonder
and I wanted to make sure
everything's all right.
- Flash him.
- What?
Well, you know, there's all sorts
of strange things happening in Odessa.
Everyone in town has seen
these bizarre lights in the sky,
and strange lizard creatures
in their backyard.
Well, that...
Nothing's strange around here.
Flash him.
It's out of battery. How?
Say, are those claw marks?
Yeah, I'll tell Gloria you stopped by.
Goodbye now.
So much for laying low.
The town's already buzzing
with conspiracy theories
after the Zaguron invasion.
You guys, if we stay here,
it could get really bad.
It's gonna be okay.
And now that we have no time ship,
we're just a bunch of weirdos
with truly random superpowers.
John, the one person with
the useful ability is gone, so...
Well, hey, I was his student.
I mean, I'm not a master sorcerer yet,
but maybe I could...
What, turn the townspeople
into household objects? Come on.
Too bad we don't have
the Time Bureau time ship,
or it would have that fail-safe.
Gary, you're a genius.
The last time the Wa verider was
impounded, I had a fail-safe installed.
And fail-safes are...
They're indestructible lockboxes
filled with emergency supplies.
Like a Time Courier, a mind flasher.
Breath mints, if we're lucky!
You realize the blast
could have sent that thing
flying anywhere
on Gloria's property, right?
So we will split up so we can find this
damn thing and get the hell out of here.
Now, let's go. Come on.
How're you holding up, Z?
If you wanna talk, I'm here to listen.
I know a thing or two
about getting dumped.
I was not dumped.
It was a mutual mucking up of things.
I am, however, annoyed that
John poofed his way out of 1925
without making sure
the rest of us were okay first.
To be fair, when he left,
we still had a working time machine.
- Defending him is not listening.
- Right. Sorry.
Continue.
I just can't believe after
everything we went through together,
all he left me with was this.
- Ooh, freaky old key.
- Yeah.
What's this for?
All he just said was, "You'll find out,"
with his trademark dramatic delivery.
In hindsight, I probably should've got
a little more clarification.
Probably.
Whatever. Just gonna do
what I always do in these situations.
I need a makeover.
No, no, no. Not a makeover.
I need a reinvention, like Madonna.
I think there's a headpiece.
Wandering through the woods.
Why am I not surprised
this is our honeymoon?
I know, babe,
but as soon as we find the safe,
then we can get out of here, all right?
Yeah. Well, I'm way out
of my comfort zone.
- Which is?
- The Wa verider.
- Lists. Rules.
- Lists. Rules.
Well, mine is improvising,
so, together, we are unstoppable.
Come on.
Based on the blast radius,
we're basically looking
for a needle in a haystack.
Look, I can track animals and people.
But random futuristic safes, not my bag.
All right, so what you got?
Any magical cheats to find this thing?
Yeah, I think I can remember
John's tracking spell.
Hey, not bad.
I think someone moved it.
That's not good.
Where did you find it, anyway?
Amongst them bushes
at the edge of Gloria Cruz's property.
Okay, good news,
we found the Wa verider's safe.
Yeah, bad news,
it's at the Sheriff's station.
Pastor found it nearby and turned it in.
That guy will come poking around again
now that he's even more
suspicious of your mom.
Yeah, and other neighbors could get nosy
and discover
the remains of the Wa verider,
which would be disastrous
for the timeline.
We just need to buy ourselves some time
so we can come up with another plan.
We need to go on the defensive.
Right, and keep the heat off
of Gloria and this property.
Yeah. And how are we supposed to do that
if we don't have time travel
or Mind Flashers?
Rule 44.
- Rule 44.
- Yeah.
- I love Rule 44.
- Yeah.
What's Rule 44?
Oh, it's from our Time Bureau training.
The intent of Rule 44
is to create a diversion.
A... A cover story when things
go sideways on a mission.
Specifically, Rule 44 states that
our cover story must be a circus.
That is oddly specific.
Are we talking Cirque, Sideshow,
straight up Three Ring affair?
No, research shows that
the general public
is willing to accept the bizarreness
of any kind of circus without question.
So, we have to put on a circus?
- What? No. We...
- No.
Jeez, that's not what we're saying.
We just have to make them
think we're a circus
to allay their suspicions.
Group makeovers.
Yes, I love it.
I'm going to reinvent
each of you as performers.
Friends, you're in excellent hands.
You heard her. Let's circus up, huh?
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
Good. 'Cause I need your magic
to help fix my mom's porch.
Sure.
Hey, Nate, while we are playing
defense as a circus,
you will be playing offense.
Time to use your superpower.
So, you want me to turn to steel
and knock around some skulls?
No. Your other superpower.
You are a white man in 1925.
You go sweet talk that sheriff,
and get him to give you the safe.
- Ava will go with you.
- What? No, I'm...
All right. Come on, Gary.
Those period costumes
aren't going to sew themselves.
Yes.
Tie... Button, please.
Voilà.
My mom's not gonna be happy
when she sees
what we've done to her stuff.
Sorry. It's desperate times.
Oh, Nate borrowed your dead dad's suit.
Hope that's okay.
He better not ruin it.
Good afternoon, Odessa.
Come one, come all.
I know you have seen and heard
some peculiar things lately.
Well, I am here to assure you that it is
just business as usual for us.
Why, you ask?
Because my compatriots and I,
we are members of the Guggenheim Circus.
You know, it's actually a very good fit.
- Hey, do I look like a grandma?
- Yeah.
You the sheriff?
Yes, sir. I was just
finishing up some paperwork.
How can I help you?
My name's John Edgar Hoover,
I'm the newly appointed director
of the Bureau of Investigation
in Washington, DC.
This is my trusted secretary,
Miss Gandy.
You seem different in real life.
You probably saw an old photo.
I've been cocktailing my hair products,
but that's neither here or there.
Now listen up, Sheriff.
We're here to talk to you
about a very important matter.
There are so many exciting things
to see at our circus.
For example, exotic animals.
My cohort and I, we are animal handlers
from a land far, far, far away!
And, of course, what circus
would be complete without a little fire?
Ow, ow, ow, ow! That's hot. That's hot.
Ah!
Now, don't be alarmed,
but several of our creatures
escaped their confinements last night!
You may have heard some explosions
or seen some
mysterious lights yesterday.
That was just me,
testing out some, uh... displays.
True story.
So, if you saw something yesterday
that looked like a dinosaur,
for example,
it was actually a Komodo dragon,
which is just a big, smelly lizard
despite its terrifying appellation.
Pastor Hanson found this strange box
over by Gloria Cruz's property.
I thought maybe it belonged to her,
since she's foreign and all.
Oh, well, we can tell you for sure
that it's not hers, sir,
but it is very dangerous.
Say, how did you boys in Washington
learn about the safe so quickly?
The pastor only found it this morning.
I mean, if I told you
all of our nation's secrets,
they wouldn't be secrets anymore,
would they?
- Yes.
- Right?
And who knows, there may even be
a commendation for you
from President Warren G. Harding
once the case is declassified, you know?
I believe she means Calvin Coolidge,
'cause Mr. Harding is dead.
People always get
their inter-war presidents mixed up.
I need you to focus.
Are you ready to do the right thing
by your country?
Mister, Mister,
tell us when the circus is.
I want to go.
When is it you ask?
Like, uh... exactly what time?
You told them what?
I'm sorry, Sara. I just panicked.
I didn't mean to invite
the whole town over tonight.
Take a breath, Gary.
We'll figure something else out.
Okay, wait, you're saying people
are coming here for an actual circus?
- All right, all right, everyone!
- Gary?
Just calm down.
Everything's going to be fine
once we open the safe.
Ah!
That's right.
When the whole town comes over,
we'll flash the hell out of them,
then we Time Courier our butts
outta here.
Yes. All right. That's right.
Another successful Legends mission
in the books.
Oh, it feels so good
to be back on track. All right.
There's no Time Courier.
There's a note.
"Taking Courier. Beer run. Rory."
- Classic.
- What?
- Son of a...
- Okay.
There's no couriers.
There's no flashers. There's no...
At least there's a Time Bureau Manual.
And Gummy Bears.
That's where I stashed
my emergency supply.
So, that's it?
Just a book and some gummies.
- No couriers.
- No flashers? No mini Gideon?
No breath mints.
Hey, look, it's okay.
You guys, it's gonna be okay.
Look, as long as the town
keeps buying our cover story,
then we'll come up with Plan B.
It's gonna be great.
That fellow wasn't Mr. Hoover at all.
Hair products, my foot!
Is this the Bureau of Investigation?
This is Sheriff Thomas Wood
of Odessa, Texas.
I've got a situation down here
you ought to know about.
Wow. So, we're really doing this?
We're living in 1925 for a spell?
1925 is a total hayseed year.
These people are covered in sun spots.
Microdermabrasion's still decades away.
Anything I know about the '20s is that
they invented a lot of dance moves.
Maybe we should just get out
of this small town and find the parties.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That goes against Rule 23,
which states that in order to limit
potential damage to the timeline,
marooned time travelers
should stay in one...
One location.
Okay, then we will stay put.
All right? We'll figure it out.
First things first.
We got the whole town
coming over tonight,
and they are expecting a circus.
We have to put on a show
to protect our cover.
If there is no circus, they may
inadvertently see the Wa verider...
No. Which violates,
like, half of this manual.
That cannot happen.
Okay, well, I just hope
that we get this done before...
Mommy!
Hi.
It looks like the humans
won the War of the Worlds.
We're all still here.
Mija, tell me why are people in town
asking about a circus on my property?
We need to talk.
Are those my curtains?
- Is that Celso's suit?
- Yes.
I don't see how the circus act gets us
any closer to getting out of here.
This is just triage, Astra,
dealing with the problem at hand.
Without the Wa verider,
we don't have a lot of options.
So, if we are to convince
these town people
that we are actually a circus,
we need to practice.
Let's go.
I want those juggling skills on point!
- You juggle, right?
- Yeah, is it that obvious?
They need to distract everyone
from seeing the remains of a time ship,
which blew up.
After the aliens attacked the house,
and we were saved by space mushroom.
Look, mija...
I'm already on thin ice here.
It's not easy for these people
to accept a magical hero
from another land living in their town.
But I trust you.
And if I am ostracized
or arrested,
then... so be it. I'll deal with it.
Because you're my daughter,
and I would do anything for you.
Looking good.
Looking good.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm pulling the plug on the circus.
What? What's wrong?
Look, what's wrong is that
this circus is going to bring
a lot of unwanted attention to my mom,
and she already feels persecuted.
This isn't just about us anymore.
Every time we try to fix something,
we just dig a bigger hole
and my mom is going to be
the one stuck paying for it.
Look, we're sorry, Spooner.
You're right. This isn't just about us.
We'll get out of town
and we'll figure something else out.
No more circus.
No more commotion.
Thank you.
Where's Astra?
What are you doing?
What does it look like I'm doing?
Well, it looks like
you're trying to fix the ship
using John's resurrection spell.
But that would be stupid because
it's for humans, not for time ships.
If John were here,
this is exactly what he would do.
Now shut up and let me concentrate.
You might wanna stand back.
- Sheriff Thomas Wood?
- In the flesh.
You called the office in DC.
about someone impersonating
a federal agent, namely me.
J. Edgar Hoover.
Luckily, we were just
down the way in Midland,
so I thought I'd pay you a visit myself.
Welcome to Odessa.
I can't believe
the top lawman in the country
is standing in my very own station.
Again. The real one this time.
Now, tell me more about this scoundrel.
Is she doing what I think she's doing?
Whatever it is, it's pretty cool.
It's likely that this imposter
is a member of the Midland Robbery Gang,
an outfit we've been tracking
for some time.
- Bank robbers.
- That's right.
And you just handed that degenerate
a brand-new safe to crack.
Now,
which way did he go?
Hell's bells,
he could be anywhere by now.
Astra,
maybe you should stop.
You know, because of the blood?
If John could do this, I can do this.
Damn it, Astra. Stop it!
Astra!
Well, Sheriff,
I reckon I know just where this imposter
is trying to blow open that safe.
Ow...
I feel like I was run over by a bus.
Yeah, since this isn't the Med Bay,
I'm guessing my spell
didn't resurrect the Wa verider.
No. It didn't.
What were you thinking?
Hey. A little sympathy?
I got injured trying to help you.
By creating another huge spectacle
at my mom's house.
Not what she needs right now.
I was the only one doing anything
to get this clown show out of Texas.
Think it through next time.
No offense,
but your mom lives in the boonies.
I doubt anyone noticed.
Someone did.
Guys,
it's J. Edgar Hoover. The real one.
He's gonna wanna know who we are.
So, we are doing the circus.
No, no. Esperanza and I,
we will talk to the men.
Astra has to stay in bed,
but the rest of you cannot be here.
Okay, um...
Go hide.
It's too open concept in here to hide.
Bedroom. Go, go, come on.
Evening, ladies.
J. Edgar Hoover,
Bureau of Investigation.
Which one of you is Gloria Cruz?
I am.
How can I help you, sir?
Heard about some
bank robbers in the area.
Unsavory fellas.
Just checking to make sure you're safe.
Well, no bank robbers.
Just enjoying a quiet afternoon.
If you don't mind, I was talking to
the owner of the property in question.
- I don't think it's working.
- Why not?
Try the closet.
It's locked.
Zari, the key.
John said we'd find out what it's for.
Maybe it's this.
Okay. Fine.
Yo.
I think we'll have a look around.
Just to be sure.
I have a patient in there.
She's recuperating.
Go. Just go.
Where are we?
The mansion?
Hey.
So, if we're in the mansion,
does that mean it's present day?
Did we make it out of 1925?
No and yes.
But we're not in any year at all.
Gary?
This isn't really the mansion. It's a...
A pocket dimension
that John made for himself.
John wanted a place
where he could be all alone, so he...
He conjured it.
So, if we go out the front door...
Is this a pocket dimension
in hell, Gary?
I recommend only exiting
through the door we came in.
Why would John give me this place?
Is it possible that man is so conceited
he thinks I need an alternate dimension
to get over him?
I don't know everything about John,
but I know he loved you.
Maybe he just thought you could use
a nice, quiet place to be alone?
Out of the spotlight for once.
Out of the spotlight.
B, I thrive in the spotlight.
It's where I'm most me.
You're acting like
I need to find myself,
but I'm not hiding. It...
There's an answer in here somewhere.
It's just a book of rules, babe.
Rules we should be following.
Okay, we almost ruined Gloria's life,
and we almost interacted with Hoover,
which means we almost changed history.
Yeah, but we didn't, huh?
Babe...
Hey, will you look at me?
I know it feels like
the walls are closing in,
but we will figure this out.
You keep saying that.
Okay, Sara? But we're getting sloppy.
And without memory flashers,
or Time Couriers, or Gideon to guide us,
we are lost. Okay?
And you really think
that manual will help?
Probably not, but I just...
I need to.
- Okay.
- Okay.
You keep reading.
I have reason to suspect
that the Midland Robbery Gang
are holed up around here.
Sheriff Wood said one of the gang
members got ahold of a peculiar safe
that was in his possession.
Do you mind
if we search your property, ma'am?
Does it really matter
if I say yes or no?
Smart woman.
Okay. I overheard Hoover leaving.
All right, guys. Let's go!
Hey.
You coming?
Actually, I think I'm gonna just...
stay for a little bit.
Oh. Good for you, sis.
And in case if you like
slowing things down a little.
What does that mean?
Oh, brother.
Come on.
Whoo.
You're back.
How did Hoover not see you guys?
We just hopped over
to another plane of existence
where space and time
don't function normally.
- No big whoop.
- You know, we could just
hide out in the mansion.
We'd be out of Gloria's way.
Hiding isn't going to get us back
to our timeline,
or help us figure out
who blew up our ship.
So, where do we go?
New York City.
Guys, the manual mentions
an obscure scientist
who laid the foundation
for all of time travel,
a guy named Dr. Gwyn Davies.
He's alive right now in 1925,
and he lives in New York.
- That could work.
- Right?
And you're okay if we leave here?
I guess. As long as we have a plan.
- Good.
- Because y'all gotta go.
I mean, J. Edgar Hoover
is suspicious of my mom.
He thinks she's harboring
some bank robbers,
the Midland Gang or something.
Hoover is indefatigable.
He's a bloodhound.
He won 't let go of our scent
until he's won.
Then let's give him what he wants.
Make him think he was right.
We will be the bank robbers.
We'll lead him out of Texas,
away from Gloria,
and all the while,
making our way to New York City.
Bank robbers were a big deal
in the 1920s.
And we'd certainly grab his attention.
Yeah, and all we have to do
is rob some banks.
I mean, yes, please.
Can I have just a word with you
for a minute?
What, you want to go on a crime spree?
I mean, I don't even like the idea
of leaving this house,
but since we have to... Listen to me,
we need to make very small footprints.
And remember,
we don't even have our equipment.
- What if somebody...
- Babe, look, you're right.
And I'm scared, too.
But I believe in us,
and I believe in our team.
We're more than time travel
and superpowers and gadgets and manuals.
We are the Legends,
and we can pull this off.
I know we can.
And as soon as we can time travel again,
we'll go and fix all the changes
that we made.
You can make a... You can make a list
of timeline IOUs. You love lists,
and then we will cross them off,
every single one.
Every single one?
Every single one.
Hmm?
Fine.
All right. Crime spree it is.
But just until we can time travel again.
I'd like to stay here
with my mom for a bit.
Astra should stay too
until she's fully recovered.
Okay, we'll just pick you guys up
after we help invent time travel.
Guys?
Hoover's back.
Y'all are gonna get my mom arrested.
Gloria?
Do you have any rope?
Gloria Cruz?
You've been withholding information.
It's the Midland Gang. They just left.
They forced us to cooperate!
They said they were going to kill us.
Come on, babe, let's go!
Hurry, Sara!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Come on, Nate! Come on! Come on, get on!
Bye now! Thank you!
Whoo!
Should've peed before we left Gloria's.
Hmm.
Sorry.
Hit the floor, boys, this is a robbery.
Hmm?
Not our first rodeo.
Whoa! Sorry, little lady. Bank's closed.
Little lady?
Who do you think you are?
Why are your teeth so pretty?
Fluoride. Now you heard me,
go on, get. Get!
This is a robbery. I know robberies.
You're running crowd control.
You heard the lady. Get on the ground.
And you? I want you to go to the safe
and get me 93 dollars and 65 cents.
Okay, okay.
- $93...
- Yeah, I did the calculation, babe.
It's all we need
to get to New York City.
Small footprints. You promised.
Give me the money!
I actually have enough here in the till.
No need to open the safe.
All right. Look, we weren't going to say
anything till after the robbery, but...
Come here.
- We're the Midland Gang.
- No way!
- Yeah.
- I love the Midland Gang!
Huge fan!
I said get all the way down
on the ground, boys.
- Ava keeps shooting the ceiling.
- She hates ceilings.
Two women?
There's no women in the Midland Gang!
You can steal money from a bank, fine.
But you don't steal
somebody's gang name!
All right, lady.
Look, we don't have a gang name, okay?
You gotta have a gang name.
It's patriotic.
Oh, oh!
What about "The Legends of Tomorrow"?
- It's wordy.
- It is.
Ooh! Ooh!
"The Bullet Blondes."
Well, it's not just Sara and Ava.
We're in the gang, too.
They're doing all the heavy lifting.
"Bullet Blondes."
Damn it, B, it is catchy.
- Hmm. The Bullet Blondes.
- The Bullet Blondes.
The Bullet Blondes.
This robbery is the work
of The Bullet Blondes.
The Bullet Blondes.
You've got to be kidding me?
Now y'all are gonna put your heads down
and count to 100
- and pretend you never saw us.
- Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait. And go about your
lives like none of this every happened.
Completing any historically significant
events you might otherwise have done.
Let's go!
Make way for The Bullet Blondes.
The Bullet Blondes! Whoo hoo!
Thank you all for your cooperation.
Sorry about the guns.
The Bullet Blondes! The Bullet Blondes!
The Bullet Blondes. I like it.
I have to admit. You were right, babe.
That went off without a hitch.
I guess
we're The Bullet Blondes now!
Come on, Gary, let's go!
Whoo, 93 dollars and 65 cents
never felt so sweet!
I don't think that's
gonna change history,
but I am gonna write it down
in our to-do ledger
just to be sure that it doesn't.
Hopefully, Hoover's on our scent
and he's gonna follow us out of town
away from Gloria's house.
Next stop, New York City.
- Whoo!
- Uh-oh. Guys, something's up ahead.
What, he already roadblocked us?
Damn, that Hoover works fast.
He's indefatigable.
It's over, Bullet Blondes.
Get out of the car
and put your hands on the ground.
- Gun it.
- What?
Are you sure?
I bet he has a pretty good aim
with that gun.
That's a good point. Nate, get behind
the wheel in case he opens fire.
- Come on, Gary. Let's go.
- Let's go, Gary.
Get your feet out of my face!
- Oh, God!
- All right, let's do it.
- Everyone else, get down.
- Get down!
I said small footprints, Sara!
Don't worry about it, babe.
We'll fix everything. I promise.
Whoo!
Yeah!
Oh! We made it!
Do you guys hear something?
Yeah.
- It's a fat...
- What?
- It's a fat bubble.
- What are you trying to say?
- Something about bubbles.
- Indefatigable!
What?
Oh, my...
What did you do?
I didn't kill him!
This is not happening.
This is not happening.
Hoover can't die! Hoover...
Hoover can't die!
Oh, my God, thank God, he's alive!
Indefatigable.
I never miss twice.
- What? What did he say?
- I don't know.
What did you say?
I said...
I never miss twice.
I killed J. Edgar Hoover.
I killed J. Edgar Hoover!
I didn't mean to.
I didn't mean to.
Hey, that... That was a...
- Sara, I am sorry.
- Oh, I know.
He's, uh...
very important to the timeline.
The timeline? The timeline is ruined!
History is ruined and...
we don't even have Gideon here
to tell us how badly we ruined it.
This is... I want to die. Goodbye.
I give up. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
Goodbye.
- Babe?
- Did we break Ava?
- Hey, babe, you okay?
- No!
Yeah, you're okay.
Look, I know I talked you into this plan
and it has admittedly gone sideways,
but we are...
We're pretty committed, okay?
So we got to see this one through.
- I can't.
- Yes, you can.
And then, when we get back to 2021,
we are gonna go on a real honeymoon.
We'll be on the beach.
We'll walk hand in hand.
We'll... We'll listen to one of your
STABcast podcasts and watch the sunset.
- It'll be like...
- STABcast!
That's it.
There are no witnesses.
We're lucky.
We gotta hit the road fast.
But first...
we gotta get rid of the body.
- Ava?
- Gary, that's your job.
Lose the glasses.
Aw!
You want me to eat one of the most
important figures of the 20th century?
We gotta get to New York
and we gotta get there fast.
We gotta find this Gwyn Davies
without messing up the timeline anymore.
And the first thing to do,
is to eat this body.
What has gotten into you?
I have been reading
true crime stories my entire life.
This is my time to shine.
Shut up and eat up, Gary.
You're in The Bullet Blondes now.
I'm a Bullet Blonde?
I swear I take no pleasure in this.
Beyond just the taste of human meat,
which, as you know, I find...
quite delicious.
Do it, Gary.
Astra, you're up?
Yeah, thought I'd make myself useful.
That's very sweet.
You're capable of so much more
than picking vegetables.
I have just recovered.
You have a terrible bedside manner.
Tell me, what did you do
to hurt yourself so much?
I tried to perform a spell
that I wasn't ready for,
and it nearly destroyed me.
God, my former mentor would be so
disappointed if he were here right now,
saying I have to be
willing to walk alone
and risk it all if I want to succeed.
You know, my mother was a great healer.
She taught me everything that she knew.
But I was terrible at it.
It wasn't until I was able
to cast off her training,
start fresh in a way
that reflected who I am,
that I truly became a healer myself.
Yeah, but...
Walk alone, sacrifice yourself,
that's what magic is about.
Your mentor taught you how he did magic.
Yeah?
But you're not him.
RIP.
So, you're just going to bury
the pieces of the Wa verider?
Well, it ain't gonna bury itself.
I'm gonna miss the old girl.
Really?
Astra Logue getting sentimental.
Look, I'm sorry I brought the cops
to your mom's place.
I don't blame you
for being pissed about it.
And I get it. You were trying to help.
I wasn't just trying
to help you, though.
I was trying to prove myself
to replace John.
I just wanted to show everyone
that I was worthy,
which I guess I'm not.
John?
We don't need another John.
We need you.
Astra, I...
I wasn't mad about the cops.
I mean, I wasn't happy about them,
but I was upset that you almost died.
I like having you around.
You're like my best friend.
No one's ever said that to me.
But you're mine, too.
Good.
And if anything goes wrong,
we'll handle it.
I got your back.
You know, it's too bad.
I almost finished that spell.
Hmm. You didn't finish it?
No, it was too much for me.
I bet John would've finished it.
That was the last word.
Sounds mysterious.
Wish Gideon was here
to make us a nice steak.
Steak? I wish Gideon was here
to make us a drink.
- Mezcal.
- Mezcal.
Who the hell is that?
Ay dios mio!
- Gideon?
- Gideon?