Legends of Tomorrow (2016–…): Season 6, Episode 15 - The Fungus Amongus - full transcript

Grab anything you can
to put the eggs into.

Guys, hurry up.

- It's a bomb.
- Yeah.

Egg!

Get down!

Mick, you okay?

Charred. Nothing new.

At least this little guy's unharmed.

Give me that.

You guys... saved them. Why?

Those are Mick's kids
you're talking about.



That makes them family.

Look, I get why Bishop
would brick the ship

but why make
such an elaborate prank out of it?

He's stalling. And mission accomplished.

And now the bomb obliterated
Gideon's mainframe

which means we are... stranded.

You're stranded. I still got my ship.

That gyrating bastard.

Let me guess, Bishop stole your ship.

I'm gonna kill him.

Oh, my God, B!

Oh, hey, guys.

What happened to my couch?

I knew something was up with John.



I shouldn't have gone home.
I should have been here.

What could you have done?
We were all fooled.

I know a thing or two about addiction.

When we get John back on board,
he's not leaving my sight.

It's too late, B. John is gone.

Gone? What do you mean, gone?
Like, he escaped?

He's dead.

Well, that's not possible.
He's John Constantine. He can't be dead.

How?

He tried to control
the Fountain of Imperium which...

turns out, is an ancient fungal network
that's been keeping Earth safe

from invasive aliens for eons.

Bishop tricked John
into poisoning himself,

to kill the Fountain.

And I watched John... die.

He decomposed into the ground and

all that was left was this.

Whoa. May I?

Wait a second, where's Spooner?

Yeah, about that...

So, you're the time travelers
who found my Esperanza in the future.

It's nice to meet you,
despite the circumstances.

I'm so grateful
that she's here with me now.

But I don't know how much longer
she will stay.

Is she... dying?

Nothing I've tried
is helping to stop it.

I'm a healer.

And I can't help my own daughter.

Ay, mi amor.

How we doing in here?

How's it look, smartass?

The CPU was obliterated.

Found some replacement parts

but the wiring needs to be
completely rerouted and...

What's the timer for?

The eggs, dummy. They need to be
rotated every 12 minutes.

Oh. I got 'em.

Just a quarter turn only.

- No, that's too much...
- I got it. I got it. Relax.

Shouldn't you be strategizing
with your loser human friends?

Coming up with some zany hijinks
to save your doomed planet or something?

Nope. I'm staying with my kids.

Your kids?

In Necrian culture,
the mother raises the children, alone.

Look, I wasn't around
for my daughter, Lita.

I was lucky she allowed me
back into her life.

But I'm never making that mistake again.

Ever.

We should take her back to the ship.
The MedBay is...

Scratch that. Totally broken.

It wouldn't help anyway.

Spooner's like this because of
what's happened to the Fountain.

The two of them are linked.

Chances of that being a coincidence?

Slim to none.

That's it?

So much for an invasion.

It's a scout. They're watching us.

The Fountain's dying.

Earth is ours.

Send the beacon.

Spooner. Spooner, what beacon?

You need to run, now.

Over here.

Shoot it!

I don't have a clear shot.

Well, then, shoot us both!

Sara, I can't...

Sara, you okay?

- Uh, yeah. Where's the other one?
- Huh?

- If they were the scouts then...
- That was them ringing the dinner bell.

There's more coming.

We are so screwed.

Zagurons know the Fountain's dead
and they're coming.

The Fountain isn't dead. It's dying.

Those things are here to finish it off
and take over what's left.

Spooner translated the Zag's thoughts.

The power's still inside her
but it is fading fast.

Well, that means there's still hope.

You know, we just have to
save the Fountain/Spooner

before the armada of carrion lizards
overwhelms our planet

and kills everyone in sight.

- Easy-peasy.
- Guys, let's brainstorm.

Let's figure out a way
to heal this Fountain.

- We are gonna figure it out, babe.
- Hmm.

What is it?

I think this is Bishop's plan.

For me to watch you
and everyone I love die.

What?

For me and him to be the only two left.

Well, it won't happen. We won't let it.

What, B?

I know you want to be alone right now,
but I need you to look at the mushroom.

- I'm good.
- I don't think John's dead.

I think he's inside this little guy.

Just look. And listen.

And clear your mind.

Are you high right now?

Did you come to me,
after John died, stoned?

No, John isn't dead.

And that means he can still help us.

He'll know what the Fountain
needs to heal.

Stop. Even if he were somehow alive,

he is the last person
we should ask for help.

Lest you forget,

he screwed all of us over
for his pathetic ego trip.

The Zagurons are coming to Earth?

I got to fix this thing faster.

They almost killed me once.
I am not facing them again.

You won't be alone this time.

There is no beating them,
there's only escaping.

You want to take the ship and run.

It's the smart thing to do.
Don't worry, I'll keep the kids safe.

You could, um, you could come too,
if you want.

Ah, I'm back.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

I'm back. Hello, Legends.

Did you miss me?

By the time you see this recording,
I expect John will be dead.

The Fountain will also be dead.

And my Zaguron friends
should be on their way to destroy you.

I hope I've got that right,
otherwise possible egg on my face.

And because I can
literally think Sara's thoughts,

about now is the time that
Sara Lance has figured out my plan

for us to live forever together,
after everyone else has died,

as the new Adam and Eve.

Sara, your mind must be racing,

realizing that the only one
who can save the Fountain is me.

And spoiler alert...

I'm not gonna.

So, his message gave me an idea.

He said he's the only one
who can save the Fountain,

so maybe he should.

Yeah, he's not gonna do that.

Not that guy,
but a younger version of him.

Time-napping.

I love it.

Gang, he wasn't always a supervillain,
but he's always been super-smart.

We got the stuff he poisoned John with.

Maybe, just maybe,

the younger version of him
can reverse-schmience it

and get us an antidote.

It goes against every instinct you have,

which means Bishop
would never expect it.

If we only ever do
what makes sense to you,

he will always be one step ahead.

There is only one way
to wage a war against yourself.

And that is to have
a "what would Sara never do" day.

It is a really bad idea.

All right, now for the moment of truth.

Come to life,

Ava Prime.

I'm alive.

Hello, I'm...

I'm...

dying.

Oh... Aw.

The neural network
is still overloading.

I am never gonna get this right.

Oh.

You're a working Ava.

Well, I work, but I don't
let my work define me, you know.

How are you...
Was that a chrono-dimensional portal?

The less you know, the better.

Headline, we're time travelers
and we need your help.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I must become wildly famous
for my genius

if time travelers
come looking for my help.

I must become a really big deal.

- The ego on this dude.
- We already know.

All right,
smarty-pants.

Wanna help us save the world?

Wow.

Whoever made this is a certified genius.

An evil genius, but a genius.

Yes, an evil genius
who is not like anyone in this room.

There's some
bio-engineering in this poison that...

I'm the only one I've ever met

that could think of anything
this diabolical.

Exactly why we came to you.
Now can you please help us?

Of course, I can.

I just need some space to work,
and no distractions.

I spoke to John. He is in the mushroom.

He wants to talk to us.

And we all got to eat him.

So, you ate a strange mushroom
and you thought you heard John's voice?

I know I did.

It's proof that John's alive,
inside the mushroom.

John wants us to eat the mushroom
and talk to him.

He wants to help us heal the Fountain.

John thinking about someone
other than himself? Not a chance.

We have a plan. That plan is crazy,

but it still makes more sense
than talking to a mushroom.

Zari, wait. Just consider it.

So...

are we gonna do this?

Communing with a spirit
while in an altered state,

it's pretty on-brand for us.

Guys, I'm sorry, but no.

No, definitely not.

The last thing we need to be doing
is tripping on mushrooms.

Hmm. Yeah, well,

isn't it "what would Sara never do" day?
Just saying.

We already played that game

and now it's time to prepare
for an alien invasion.

So, please, everyone,
just go make yourself useful, okay?

You're right.

Sara.

Sara.

Eat me.

John?

Eat the mushroom, love.

John?

Sara.

Join me.

Sara.

John.

Hello, Sara.

Are you...

Are you alive?

Not exactly.

I'm...

present.

What I did was unforgivable.

It's okay.

We're creating an antidote for
the poison that you gave the Fountain

and we can still stop the Zagurons
from coming.

That won't be enough.

Even if we heal
the physical side of the Fountain,

the spiritual side will remain ill.

John, I need your help.

I need you and the Fountain to help.

The Fountain has a mind of its own.

It no longer deems human beings
worthy of its protection.

Damn it, John, you did this,
you need to fix this.

I cannot separate myself
from the Fountain.

My life force is the only thing
keeping the Fountain and Spooner alive.

If I leave, they both perish.

I must stay as long as I can,

and let the remnants
of my soul be drained.

Mushrooms feed off death.

So I'm going to feed it,
I owe it that much.

Sorry it had to be this way.

Do you remember
all those years ago when I said

that stable relationships
weren't right for you and me?

I was wrong.

Loving and being loved,
that is the point.

I had that.

It should have been enough
but I wanted more and now,

the whole world, especially Zari,
is suffering because of my mistake.

I think I understand.

There's one last thing
I need to tell you.

It's the greatest thing I've learned
since bonding with the Fountain.

It's the secret to all life.

Gideon, run a diagnostic.

All systems functioning.

And may I add,
nice job on the repairs, Kayla.

Excellent. Then let's get out of here.

Set a course for the Temporal Zone.

Jump coordinates plotted.

Do it.

Executing.

Powering down.

No, you don't.

We can't stay here. Do you understand?

I am trying to protect our children.

I'm not leaving without my kids.

I'm not abandoning my friends
or this planet.

You know, I could just snap
your head off

and take that stupid button of yours.

Yeah.

But you won't.
There's a part of you that cares.

Astounding.

How long until the antidote is ready?

We're kind of on the clock here.

It's done.

Guys!

I know the answer!

I know the answer to
all of our questions.

It's the meaning of life.

You ate the mushroom, didn't you?

Yes, and I saw John.

- What?
- Yeah.

He told me what this is about.
He told me what everything is about.

He said...

"We are all connected."

I think I saw that
on a bumper sticker once.

It was really profound in the moment.

Oh.

That's some strong juju.

Spooner, good to have you back.

Wait, since Spooner and the Fountain
are connected,

does this mean the Fountain is restored
and we stopped the invasion?

Ugh.
There are thousands of these

scattered around the area.

I mean, even if we could destroy
the pods, there are too many of them.

You know, they're too spread out.

This is classic
Zaguron perimeter technique.

They land, wait for dark

and then they eat anyone
who isn't smart enough

- to get out of their way.
- What?

- Which is something we should be doing.
- No, we're not running.

It's 1925.

They'll destroy the entire human race
before we're ever born.

We gotta hold the line.

Heart rate, normal.

Blood pressure, good.

I think you're finally back with us,
Ms. Cruz.

- How do you feel?
- Mmm. Like I just ran a marathon.

Sweaty, starving.

Here, darling, try this.

Gracias, Mami.

- So, Spooner?
- Hmm?

Glad you're feeling better
and not to be a buzzkill, but

can you hear
what the Zagurons are thinking?

Find out what they're doing out there?

I got nothing.

The only thoughts in my head
right now are my own.

I don't feel aliens or mushrooms
or anything.

Sorry, I'm confused.

I thought you and the Fountain
were linked.

If you're fine, then shouldn't
the Fountain wake up or whatever?

Scare the Zags away?

The one thing I learned
while being connected to the Fountain,

it doesn't want to help us.

Then we'd better have
a damn good plan B.

All right, we have about
four more hours left of daylight.

So got to gear up, hydrate and

prepare
for the fight of our lives.

Ava, will you marry me?

What?

We already did the proposal thing.

No, I mean marry me now,
today, before the apocalypse.

What are you talking about?
We can't just...

Why not?

We're gonna have to
fight those things anyway.

We're ready as we're ever gonna be,
and four hours is totally doable.

Ooh! We can get the whole team on board.

We've produced much crazier
miracles in far less time.

No, I would rather save the miracles
for the actual fight.

You guys, we may not survive the night.

Then let's go out on our own terms,

do things our way,
do what we've always wanted to do.

We've got our friends,

we've got our vows
and we've got four hours.

What else do we need?

I don't know,
maybe for the world not to be ending.

Hey.

John told me
the most important thing in life

is loving someone and being loved.

And if getting married is the last thing
that we do together then,

damn, I will be just fine with that.

You have really gone to town with this
"what would Sara Lance never do" thing.

- Um...
- Mmm-hmm.

Okay, let's do it.
Let's get married.

Come here.

Wedding before war!

Yes.

Ready for a celebration

I've been waiting my whole life

Who ever knew it would feel so good

I feel like I'm right on time

You make me a believer

You're one of a kind

You make me a believer

Believer, believer, believer

No doubt in my mind

Last time I used this tablecloth
was for my wedding to your papi.

I thought I would keep it locked away
until I used it for yours.

Not sure that's ever gonna happen.

Stopping aliens
is what my friends and I do.

But I can't protect a planet
if I'm too busy protecting you.

You're too important to me, Mami.

I need you to be safe.

But this is my home.

I built it with my own two hands
for you, for us.

I spent my whole life
thinking aliens killed you.

I never thought I'd see you again.
I thought I'd lost you forever.

This, this has been a gift.

I've never been happier
to be wrong about anything.

But if you stay...

then that horrible story

I had to live with for 20 years
will be true.

I'll go pack my things.

Here's your gown.

Thank you, Gary.

- What are you writing?
- Nothing.

I'm writing nothing because
every time I write something down,

it's stupid and meaningless,

and wedding vows
are supposed to be perfect.

You waited until right now
to write your vows?

Sorry, it's just very unlike you.

I waited until now because before I was

focused on every tiny detail
of my dream wedding.

And now, we're throwing it all away
and racing into this slap-dash ceremony,

and I have no time and I feel like
I'm gonna just screw it all up...

Hey, hey, hey.

Deep breaths.

Huh?

- It's gonna be fine.
- How?

Sara already wrote her vows, Gary.

Sara, the person who
never plans anything,

already did the one thing
that every wedding needs.

Okay. Here's what's gonna happen.

- You're gonna walk down that aisle...
- Mmm-hmm.

To the love of your life.

She's gonna say
some very beautiful things to you.

- You're not helping.
- No, no, no. And then...

You...

You're gonna look deep
into those gorgeous blue eyes of hers,

and say what you feel.

I feel sick.

- Don't say that.
- I don't...

What are you...

You want me to improvise? Me?

- Yeah, you.
- I can't...

Because I know what you say
in that moment will be perfect.

Because it's true.

Because it's you.

- Gary?
- Mmm-hmm?

Will you please walk me down the aisle?

It would be my greatest honor,
Director Sharpe.

For you

There will be no more crying

For you

The sun will be shining

Thanks for coming.

It's not like you gave me much choice.

You brought the kids.

Last time they were left on the ship,
they almost blew up.

Yes. Yes, they did.

And the songbirds are singing

Like they know the score

And I love you, I love you, I love you

Like never before

And I love you, I love you, I love you

Like never before

We're gathered here today,
on what may very well be our last,

to celebrate the union
of these two amazing people.

I fondly remember the moment they met.

She had a gun.

She had a glare.

Destiny was at work.

We've all been through a lot
since that day.

And on that journey,
you've challenged each other

to be the best versions
of yourselves possible.

This moment,

this wedding,

this is exactly what the world needs.

We're facing insurmountable odds,

but even during the darkest of times,
when hope seems lost...

love...

love is what matters most.

"Ava, the perfect woman.

What could a mess like me ever have
to offer someone as special as you?

Can't exactly say it was love
at first sight...

But you did look really good
in that pantsuit."

- Mmm-hmm.
- "But the more that I got to know you,

and I got to feel your kindness
and your honesty,

this heart once so cold
and guarded, it just...

It just melted.

And, Ava, it's because of you

that I get to know
what true love feels like.

And so,

today, here,
in front of all of our friends...

I wanna make these vows to you.

I will always be your champion,
your lover.

I will always be your family.

And I will listen to you
even when the words are hard to hear.

And I will let you in
even when I'm afraid.

And I will support you.

I will fight for you.

And above all,

Ava Sharpe, I will love you."

Wow!

Your turn.

Oh... Oh, man.

I, uh...

Okay.

Sara, I...

My life before you
was a perfect fabrication.

And then you came into my world and

everything just became a whirlwind,
you know.

You brought chaos into my tidy,

predictable existence and, um...

You pretty much brought me to life.

So I vow to you
to live this life together.

Co-captains forever, baby.

I love you so, so much, Sara Lance.

Love you. I love you.

Oh...

So if there's no objections...

That's my ship.

You've got to be kidding me.

What a darling setup
you've got here.

Pre-apocalypse nuptials
are all the rage.

But you know it's gonna be you and me
for all eternity, Sara Lance.

Is that me? Am I the villain?

Wait is that my younger self down there?
Wow. That's embarrassing.

I did not see that coming.

Well played.

But I'm afraid it's all for naught.

'Cause you know what your little
party is missing?

Wedding crashers!

Ta-ta, you crazy kids.

All right, anybody without steel skin
or regeneration,

fall back and barricade the house.

I ain't running.

Come get your weapons, folks.

I got my own, thanks.

Here. Get out of here.

I'm staying.

What?

This family is sticking together.

- Hey. It was a perfect wedding.
- Yeah.

Guys, we might want
to rethink our stance on running.

Uh...

Yeah, we gotta go!

- Go!
- Run!

Go, go, go!

Reinforce the entry points.
Use anything you can find. Go, go, go!

- What's happening?
- You need to hide.

- Should I help?
- You've done enough.

Come on.

Spooner, we need your mom's
medical supplies.

I'm on it!

Come on, Behrad.

Hey. Just stay with me, okay?
I'm not losing you too.

No, it's spreading too quickly.
We need a tourniquet.

That's not gonna help.

Zari, hold him down.
B, close your eyes.

Wait, what are you doing?

Saving his life.

That venom is gonna kill him
like it killed me.

There is no cure.

We have to stop the spread.
Now, hold him down.

Hey, you are not touching him
with that thing.

I'm trying to save him.

- Not with that, you're not.
- He is gonna die!

Stop fighting!

You guys seeing this?

You gave him my powers.

It's the Fountain.
I can feel it. It's waking up.

It's like... it's like John said.
We're all connected.

Nate's powers to Ava!

- I need a weapon!
- Spoon!

Damn it.

Sara, you're up.

What's happening?

Just go with it.

Nice.

Watch out!

Let me help.

We're not gonna make it.

At least we got to get married
before the end, right?

Wait, you're not married.

We didn't do the "I do's."

I'll buy you some time.

Everyone, huddle up!

We're getting these two hitched,
even if it's the last thing we do.

Get married, quick,
before I change my mind.

Sara, do you take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife

- till death do you part?
- I do.

Do you, Ava, take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife

- till death do you part?
- I do.

By the power vested in me
by the world wide web,

I pronounce you wife and wife.

So, that was the Fountain of Imperium.

And it saved us.

It decided we were worth it after all.

I guess getting hitched
at the end of the world

wasn't such a bad idea.

Damn right... wifey.

Mmm!

The Fountain loves love.

Stupid zags and their stupid
mushroom allergy.

Well, if you want something done right,
you gotta do it your damn self.

Give it up, Bishop. You lost.

Never!

Ooh!

It's time.

I'll give you one last chance
to leave and never come back.

I found your younger self once
and I'll do it again.

End you before you become the sad,
little deranged man you are now.

I will blast each and every human
on this stupid planet to bits,

starting with all of you.

I don't care how long it takes.

You and I will be the only two left.

What the...

Wait, are those...

Aw!

No! Let go of me!

Get off me! Aah! Stop! Stop!

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Necrian babies wake up very hungry.

They'll typically devour
the first thing they see.

Did I not mention that before?

- No.
- No.

Oh.

Hey, little guy or girl.

Either way, I love you.

- Aw.
- Oh!

Guys, you got married.

You became parents.

Mazel tov, everybody!

Let's party!

I think I understand now.

You brought me here as a warning,

to show me what I'll become
if I don't change my ways.

Well, I got the message.

And I swear, I will never become that.

- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.

- That's a very sweet sentiment.
- It is.

But unfortunately...

you're gonna have to
live out that destiny.

It's how the timeline works. Sorry.

- Ava Prime?
- Here we go.

Is this a dream?

Click your heels, Dorothy.
You're going home.

I really did love you.

I wish that could have been enough.

What's the hurry, love?

You!

You bastard!

What, have you been sneaking around here

- this whole time?
- No, no.

I just got here. Honestly. Really.

You know, after the Fountain healed
and could survive without me,

it saw the purity of my sacrifice and
it saw fit to give me another chance.

Your "purity"?

- Don't lie to me.
- Okay, all right. I was joking.

Yeah, the Fountain
didn't think too highly of me.

Even less after I contacted
an old associate in Hell.

Long story short,

the chit to my soul
now belongs to a demon once again.

And the Fountain is very happy
that I'm no longer bound to it.

Wow. You haven't changed at all,
have you?

You know, people can change
and not change at the same time.

I'm still a bastard, I know that.

But, I guess, now I know what
I'm missing by being a bastard.

We mucked it up.

We mucked it up just like...
you said we would.

I'd do it all over again
in a heartbeat, love.

Me too.

Listen... I have to walk
a different path now.

Away from the Legends.

But here.

Take this.

An old key? What is this for?

You'll find out.

Life's crazy, isn't it?

Imagine if our first day on the
Waverider, we traveled to this moment,

to this house,

and we saw me, a captain with a wife,

and you with 48 kids.

Forty-nine, and a grandbaby on the way.

I don't think we would
have recognized ourselves.

No.

Gotta move forward, I guess,
to the next job,

with a new partner.

Yeah.

I had a feeling that was coming.

You know you'll always have a home
on the Waverider.

And I guess you'll be busy
taking care of 48 punks.

Well, I've learned a thing or two
about handling punks.

Watched you do it for six years.

There you go.

What's this?

It's a bridal bouquet.

That means you're next.

Ugh.

Well, that's that.

Yeah, I'm kind of nervous.

Things rarely wrap up
in a neat little bow for us.

Oh, come on, babe, don't be paranoid.
Life, it's gonna start going our way.

What the hell?