Legends of Tomorrow (2016–…): Season 5, Episode 12 - Episode #5.12 - full transcript
Nothing.
There's gotta be some
spell, some potion,
something to give us the power
so we can touch the Loom
without turning extra crispy.
There's also the question of
who's gonna use it with me.
The Loom requires three weavers
who are as powerful as gods.
Well, I'm not leaving my mom's life
in the hands of you idiots.
Wow, okay, well, that's one person.
What do you think, Sara?
I mean, I'm already a blind,
time-traveling paragon
who can see the future,
so might as well just add
wannabe god to the list.
Speaking of which, can
you use your Sara-vision
to tell me if what I
need is in this book?
Nothing there.
You know, you could just read the book.
You know, I would do
anything to save Behrad,
but this is faster.
These are all the spell books
in the manor you asked for.
Yes, you're a good man, Gary.
And these are for you.
Mm... can you just give them to me?
Thank you.
Shouldn't you be resting?
Shouldn't you get out of my face?
- Yep.
- You know, he's right, love.
Getting some rest
wouldn't be a bad thing.
Not gonna happen.
Look, the sooner we find
this magical cure-all,
then the sooner we can use
the Loom and get my sight back.
Uh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
This book says that Merlin
used the Philosopher's Stone.
Pshh, that thing's as real as Santa.
Shh, Gary's in the room.
- What?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
The Chalice of Dionysus.
It says here that the chalice
was gifted to an Olympian,
Dionysus, by his father, Zeus.
Whoever drinks from it becomes a god.
But only for a day.
Well, don't get your
hopes up, all right?
The Olympians fed off devotions.
Once they lost their
followers, they just died off.
And their enchanted
objects... lost to time.
I've seen that.
I've seen that. I've
seen that in college.
Okay, your degree is finally paying off.
What class did you see it in?
Oh, that was not in a class.
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!
Chug, chug, chug, chug!
It's called the Chug Cup, all right?
Campus legend said that
whoever drank from it
became invincible for a day.
And I went to a rival
school, so the only way
I could get a taste of
it is if we, you know...
Hey! Who's that?
Hudson sucks! Brixton rules!
Whoa!
Yeah!
Stole it.
Do we really think
that Dionysus's Chalice
is with a bunch of frat boys?
- Yes.
- A scan of social media confirms
that a chalice matching that of Dionysus
is currently in possession of
the Sigma Psi Phi fraternity
at Hudson University.
So we get that, I become immortal,
use the Loom, and I can
forget I ever knew you people.
Well then, Legends,
you better get your togas dry-cleaned
because we are going Greek.
- So, babe, all right, every year,
- _
the Chug Cup is presented
at the student fair,
and then, apparently,
fraternities and sororities
compete for the right to drink in it
in something called the Chug Challenge.
Definitely our best place
to try to steal the chalice.
Truth.
Okay, I can get around the ship,
but I'm not so sure
about navigating my way
through a bunch of drunk college kids...
- Mm-hmm.
- So you got this.
- Yeah.
- Team loves you.
- Don't worry.
- Okay, I know... I'm not really worried
about them accepting me.
The college kids on the other hand...
Hi, Aunt Ava, Sara.
Lita, honey, I am so, so
glad that you're still here.
I need you to help me with something.
Um, what are the, like,
kids into these days?
Like, I need 'em to think I'm cool.
- Mission's at Hudson U.
- Yeah.
Oh, my guidance counselor
told me to apply there.
- Oh.
- Sweetie, that's amazing.
Oh, I can't afford it.
You should do it.
If you wanna do it,
I can make it happen.
Yeah, I mean, it could be cool
to take a tour. We're here, right?
Yeah, yeah, the mission's
all good, Rory.
- You should definitely do that.
- Okay, thanks.
Um, if you want kids to think
you're cool, I wouldn't wear that.
They're gonna think
you look like a narc.
I'm... what... I...
_
Welcome to Hudson University.
You smell that?
Mmm, that smells like
the good, old days.
I've had it. I can't breathe in here.
Ooh, maybe it was for the better.
What is that smell?
Okay, so the Sigmas hosted the games.
We find them, we find the cup.
Great, let's fan out. Zari, thank you.
- Nate, take up the north end.
- Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
Astra, Charlie, you guys are...
Let's just find this chalice
so we can get this over with.
I wasn't finished, but...
- I'll go after her.
- Thank you.
♪ You only wish you could be me ♪
- Pledge Theta. Find your girl gang.
- _
Maybe you can tell me where I can find
the Chalice of Dionysus.
Sorry, we're just really excited
about the Chug Challenge.
Why are we even doing this?
- We should just take it by force.
- Listen to me.
In order to use the Loom, the
weavers have to be in sync.
Now, I'm not gonna let you use it
unless you can prove that
you can work as a team.
Let me?
I left Hell 'cause I was
done working for a Fate.
And that was Quincy Hall,
our economics building.
Hudson has the top
program in the country.
- Oh, did you hear that, Henry?
- Yeah.
He's majoring in finance.
I told him you have to go to Hudson.
Well, you know that's
not the only reason, Gene.
Guilty.
I want him to follow in Dad's footsteps.
I'm an alumnus. You
probably noticed the scarf.
Yeah.
I'd like to wring your neck with it.
- What was that?
- I said...
I said it's a great building,
good brick structure, fire resistant.
Oh, you really know your architecture.
- Where did you study?
- Iron Heights.
Haven't heard of it.
It's a super prestigious art school.
Oh.
Just go with it.
I can't believe I'm back here.
They used to call me Shotgun Nate.
I think I know why, but why?
Is that true, Pops?
Show us what you got.
Pops?
Pop...
Pops.
Pops.
- And I also turn to steel.
- Whoa!
Okay, come on, Grandpa.
We gotta keep looking.
Sigma Psi Phi.
Sigma Psi Phi! Sigma Psi Phi!
Ava, I think we found the Sigmas.
Ava, hello?
Ugh.
Ugh.
I'm on my way.
Sigma Psi Phi!
Sigma Psi Phi! Sigma Psi Phi!
Sigma Psi Phi!
Sigma Psi Phi! Sigma Psi Phi!
- Sigma Psi Phi!
- Huh!
Oh, wow.
That was just like my
entrance to the 2044 VMAs.
What's up, Hudson Hedonists?
Welcome to the Chug Challenges pregame!
- That's the chalice...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- That's Dion.
- Hm?
He was the head of the
Sigmas when I was in school.
The guy hasn't aged a day.
We have so much in common, like...
Dude, that's because
your Dion is Dionysus.
This is the Greek god
of wine and revelry.
God, the guy's a riot, honestly.
Now, as Chug Keeper, I get the honor
of announcing our 2020 challenges!
I will reveal the first round
tonight at the Sigma rager!
Now let the challenge begin!
Look, just leave this to me, all right?
Oy, Dion.
Should I say, Dionysus? It's me, Clotho.
- Clotho?
- Yes.
Damn, it's really you!
My God.
The Loombreaker is in the house!
Dude, back before people had free will,
the gods were always
reigning in the party.
But look at me now!
You're in college.
Yeah, I know. I'm a lifer.
Found a place where
the party doesn't stop,
and I haven't left since.
Honestly, they worship me here,
and they don't even know
that I'm the party god.
- Hey, listen, man.
- Yeah.
I kind of wanted to ask
a little favor of you.
Yeah, anything for
the Loombreaker, and...
- sick, is this your squad?
- Yeah.
Yeah, they call me Shotgun Nate.
- I went to Brixton, but...
- All right, enough of this.
Whoa, whoa, what...
Hey, whoa.
So that's why you're really here.
Wanted to give your gang a
little taste of immortality?
Hmm? Is that what it is?
But here's the thing.
To pick this up, you gotta be Greek,
and I gotta deem you worthy.
Okay, how are we supposed to do that?
Ah, good question...
you gotta either join
a sorority, a fraternity,
or a frorority,
and you gotta win the Chug Challenge.
This is ridiculous.
Ah, and that's what makes it fun.
See you, Clotho.
- He's still so... ow.
- Just stop.
I need to focus. I need
to think of something.
- I have an idea...
- No.
Something that does not involve maiming.
Since the chalice belongs to Dion,
we gotta follow his rules.
You guys, we're gonna win that cup.
So what you're saying is
in order to use the Loom of Fate,
we have to join a sorority?
Finally, a mission I can get behind.
Luckily for us, the Thetas are hosting
a pledge social today.
This cannot be your plan.
Look, as long as Dion's got the cup,
we gotta play by his rules.
Counterpoint, you don't get
anywhere playing by the rules.
Oh, really? Because I think
I was about to win him over
before you tried to nab the cup.
Hey, okay, so,
who wants to rush Theta Lambda Ro?
No, no, no, no, no. Just stop.
Charlie, Astra, you'll pledge Theta.
Just try to remember you're
on the same side, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, sure we are.
She's exhausting.
So I'm doing track and debate,
plus my dad got me this internship.
What are your extracurriculars?
I was in band for a while, but I quit
'cause no one else wanted
to play the Replacements.
And I have a part-time
job. I heard that helps.
Actually, to get into a place like this,
you'll really wanna build
out your application.
And here we are at Neuman hall.
The name might sound familiar
to some families on this tour.
Oh, Henry Neuman.
This is actually my
grandfather's building,
which should help my
chances of getting in here.
Hey, hope I didn't miss
too much of the tour.
Just to be super clear, I'm
not a prospective student, okay?
My name's Dr. Nate Heywood.
I got my PhD from Brixton.
Go big red!
Oh, a doctor.
- Yeah.
- And Lita's dad.
- What?
- What?
Just go with it.
Thank you for your inquiry.
I think it's really...
Hi, how's it going?
Hi.
I can't believe we are this
close to becoming Thetas.
I don't even know you,
but we could be sisters.
I'm only here as a performance.
Notice my empty teacup...
a commentary on the
emptiness of this charade.
Oh, my God, we should
start a group text.
What are your numbers?
Welcome to the Theta luncheon.
Everybody, look around you.
This could be your new family.
The ones you turn to for support,
sisterhood, guidance...
that is, as long as you make the cut.
So...
Bid Theta, all right?
What are you doing?
Come on, we've got to try
and convince these people
no matter what. Now just
try and fit in please.
Fine. Want me to fit in?
Waiter, replace this drink.
If I wanted weak tea, I'd rush Omega.
Oh, this girl's fire.
I like that.
We're gonna start with your table.
This here is the house paddle,
our most sacred object.
I'm going to ask a question,
and when you're holding the paddle,
it's your turn to answer, okay?
Mm.
What did you do before college?
So I grew up in Hell,
had minions do my bidding,
and rose to power till I
practically ran the place.
Oh, and she's ambitious.
Now you go.
Oh, okay, well,
I traveled around the world
- with a bunch of friends...
- Oh, more like rejects.
But before that,
I was actually in this
really cool punk band.
Yeah, Thetas don't really do punk.
Yeah, I know her type.
You pretend like you're all
about bucking the system,
and then you get pissed
when people don't fall
in line behind you.
You think you're better than
the sisters you ran away from,
but the truth is, you're all the same.
That's a little bit rich, isn't it?
Coming from my sister's lapdog.
No, just...
No!
Oh, Theta... no.
You know what?
This whole table is exiled.
None of you are Theta material.
How'd the mission go?
You immortal sorority girls yet?
I need a drink.
Mm, the refreshing sound of failure.
We would be well on our way
to using the Loom right now
if someone hadn't blown it.
Our cover was blown
because you decided
to go Hell mode on us.
Oh, you think that was Hell mode?
- Honey.
- Call me "honey" again.
Go on, I dare you.
Try me and you'll
wish you were immortal.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, okay, whoa, whoa, stop.
No one's killing anyone.
Ooh, Astra was definitely
gonna go for it.
Zari, hide that fork.
Charlie, just chill. Please sit down.
Just take a breath, yeah?
All right, you good? Okay.
All right, we need to find
another way to get the chalice.
You can't defy a god.
We have to win as a sorority,
and with no sorority...
- We're screwed.
- Yeah.
Ladies, we're gonna start our own.
I can't tell. Is she serious?
I think so.
Becoming an official
sorority by tonight?
I mean, the paperwork alone would...
- Let's do it.
- Yes.
Why not?
I really should have killed
you all when I had the chance.
Go sisters!
Whoo.
We'll get there.
Oh!
Do you think my dad's okay?
Oh, yeah, he comes
and goes as he pleases.
It's really part of his charm.
Bright side is I get to show
you what college is all about.
This is Greek row.
This is where the fraternities
and the sororities live.
They're the most influential
people on campus...
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
These are the guys
that have the chalice?
- Mm-hmm.
- I wish I could be more impressed.
Call the bro patrol.
Looks like somebody wants to party!
Is he talking to us?
- Act cool, be cool.
- I know...
Shut up.
This is Agent Heywood to bro patrol.
Desire to party confirmed.
Whoo!
How cool was that?
- Do you have a man crush?
- No, it's unrequited.
- You should tell him.
- Shut up.
Super stoked that you're here.
Anyone who's a friend of the Loombreaker
is chill with me,
so snag some bags and some brews.
Oh, and fear not.
We have energy drinks
for the little ones.
It's all peers no
pressures at Casa de Sigma.
Uh, I wanna say that's tight,
but I got responsibilities.
Well, hey, come by anytime,
and we'll party like it's 1999.
Wait, hold on, you said
these are the guys
- that have the chalice, right?
- Uh-huh.
So why don't you go
inside and get requited,
and I can do some scouting
and find out where they keep it?
Only if your dad doesn't try
to set me on fire while I'm asleep.
- Deal?
- Yeah, deal.
All right, so what are we doing?
League rules or two points
for those overhangs?
Okay, I call to order
the charter meeting
of Delta Chi Sigma,
Sisterhood of Legends.
Let's make a sorority.
First step, we need a house.
I say we steal the Theta's place.
You disable the carbon
monoxide detector,
I'll go in, cut the power...
Or, I have a more non-fatal idea.
There's a place that's been empty
since Pi Epsilon's last rager.
It was something about de-Jello-ing.
Oh, that is really foul.
Yeah, but with a little trickery...
I'll just open up a portal.
Instant remodel.
They'll never know the difference.
You know, I can't believe
I let you talk me into this.
It's not my fault you can't resist
my effortless charms.
Obviously we're gonna
have to redecorate.
Well, you lot have fun.
I can't bear to watch
you desecrate this place.
Oh, and watch out for these bad boys.
- They bite.
- Mm.
So do I.
Okay, so in order to
be a official sorority,
we need three more sisters,
and if we wanna win that chalice,
they gotta be good, so,
Gideon, what do you got?
Inez Martin was voted out of pep squad
for being too enthusiastic.
Hey, how's it going?
What's up? Hi.
Hey there!
- Oh, uh, Inez, right?
- Yes.
This is weird, but I was just wondering
- if you wanted to join...
- Definitely.
But you didn't even know what I was...
Oh, it doesn't matter.
Where can I meet you?
Lisa Lindhome, aspiring influencer,
shunned after becoming the
subject of a viral video
entitled, "Girl Snarts at Party".
Wait, what is a snart?
Oh, it's when you sneeze and...
Eh, let's not.
Let's just ease Astra back
onto Earth, all right?
Fair.
♪ I hope you work well under pressure ♪
- ♪ A is for apple, B for bae ♪
- _
- ♪ See all these people going cray ♪
- _
- ♪ Don't be ashamed, the teacher's pet ♪
- _
♪ Knows all of the
secrets, don't forget ♪
♪ A is for apple, B for bae ♪
- ♪ See all these people going cray ♪
- _
♪ Don't be ashamed, the teacher's pet ♪
♪ Knows all of the
secrets, don't forget ♪
♪ You better work ♪
Silvia Hines.
Created her own major
in performance art.
You're the ones who tried
to kill each other at the tea party.
Yeah, about that...
we've actually started
our own sorority...
What is the point of partying
with a bunch of brain-dead wastoids?
I get it.
Seems impossible to
feel any kind of power
in a cruel, dying world, right?
But have you considered
that winning the masses over
with the illusion of fun
might be the perfect way to
ply them to do your bidding?
♪ 'Cause I hope you work
well under pressure ♪
- I'm in.
- Unfortunately, Captain,
the pool of Theta rejects is slim.
Beggars can't be choosers.
I like 'em.
We chose you because
we know what it's like
looking for a place to belong
because we, too, were there at your age.
That's why we've created that place.
And as of today,
you are Deltas.
Welcome to the sisterhood.
Wait, are you blind?
- Yes.
- I love it.
Deltas are so inclusive.
But don't we need a motto?
We can't do anything without a motto.
Yeah, the sisters...
Are the glue...
Glue that greases the wheels of time.
But that doesn't make any sense.
It's called avant-garde.
What about,
"We might not have it all together,
but together, we have it all"?
Okay, I need that on
a T-shirt, like, now.
Okay, go...
Sisters!
Sisters!
I'm telling you, I can take it.
Dude, it's 2020. We don't do that any...
Da, da, da, da, just do it.
Yeah.
Whoa!
It's like his ass is made of steel!
'Cause it is.
Whoa.
Keg's here, D.
- Whoa, hey, man.
- Hey.
So glad that you found us.
I knew that you had brotential
the second I saw you.
That's nice of you.
I wanted to mark the occasion.
It's my special stash.
I brew it out back.
I hope you like IPAs.
Bro, I am all about the IPAs.
- Yeah?
- You mind?
Heyo, hit it!
- My man.
- Mmm, so good.
It's good, yeah, that brew right there,
honestly, will just take
you back to the glory days
and make you forget all about
that stupid and
stressful world out there.
Honestly, it's magic, bro.
Yeah, I, um...
I just need to check up...
I feel awesome!
- Ah, I knew you would.
- Thank you!
Hey, I wanted to ask you something.
What?
Why did you and your friends
really end up here of all places?
Aww, man, they're cool.
We just wanted to take your chalice
so we can use the Loom of Fate.
Are you saying that the Loombreaker
is a Loom faker?
Bro,
you're a looker and a cooker.
Right, but she puts
that Loom together...
mm.
I mean, there goes free will.
There goes the party...
And that is very not tight.
Our name is Delta Chi Sigma.
We've assembled an
elite team of women...
To save this campus from
the cliques and cruelty
- of the common Greek house.
- ♪ Craving bad attention ♪
And together, we will
display true sisterhood.
And win the Chug Challenge.
Ready and throw.
♪ Got nothing to prove ♪
♪ Be my friends, we go savage ♪
And then party!
♪ No telling what could happen ♪
♪ Me and my friends ♪
♪ Everybody wants to know our names ♪
♪ Everybody trying to DM
But please, don't call us heroes.
Call us Deltas!
And post.
All right, we are officially
a part of the Chug Challenge.
Yeah, this should scare the competition,
Yeah, and put us well on
track to using the Loom.
Okay, I think this
calls for a snack party.
Who wants nachos?
It's my brother's special recipe.
Hey, I just wanted to say thank you.
I've just always been so focused on
changing the world at all costs that
I just push people away.
So thanks.
Oh, I mean, they're
really the ones who...
Thank you.
Loom or no Loom, at least
some things are changing.
I can still put a stiletto
through your head,
but your plan does seem to be working.
I still think it's the stupidest way
to get what we want, but...
'Sup, ladies.
Heard there was a new
sorority on the block,
had to come and hit y'all
with that Big-D welcome.
What?
You guys tricked out this place.
Ho! Gargoyles in sunglasses?
Sick! So sick!
- Nate, what the hell are you...
- No.
It's Shotgun Nate!
You guys have got to come to Dion's.
I mean, it makes me wonder
why I ever left college.
Dionysus has the power to put people
in a constant state of ecstasy.
Nate's under his spell.
You mean Shotgun Nate.
Yeah, we're gonna go train
for your dumb challenge,
so go bother some other house.
Oh, right, ugh.
I'm not here just to
meet the new neighbors.
I also wanted to tell you
that you're disqualified
from the Chug Challenges.
There's no way you're
getting that chalice.
The hell are you on about?
Well, Shotgun told me
why you're really here.
And the thing is, I just can't
have you using that Loom.
Thing's a total buzzkill.
We did everything you said,
played by every stupid rule.
You can't just change them on us now.
Well, yeah, I can.
I mean, who says that
you have to play fair?
I'm a god!
I just gotta keep it whimsical, bro!
Let's roll!
Whimsy, whimsy!
- Who was at the door?
- Ugh!
Oh, what's wrong?
We're not getting the
chalice, that's what.
Dion's refusing to let us
participate in the challenges.
He somehow got to Nate,
figured out what we're doing.
Of course he did.
It's okay. We will figure this out.
I am done trying to figure
this out with you people.
I should've done this
my way from the start,
so I'm taking that chalice by force.
Look, even if you
tried, that won't work.
You can't defy a god.
And there is no way you're
using the Loom on your own.
Being a grown up sounds weird.
If I can't get Dion's cup,
I can at least make him suffer...
him and all his bros,
including your
hyp-bro-tized friend, Nate.
Hold on a minute. You can't do that.
We're a sisterhood, remember?
You can stop feeding
me that line right now.
You pretend we're sisters,
but all you do is expect me to change.
I'm only your sister if
I become more like you.
Astra, calm down. It's not...
You never listen to my ideas,
and I see how you all look at me.
I might be new to this,
but that is not sisterhood,
and I am done trying to fit in.
Hey, got your text.
Hey.
Where were you?
Trying to get you into this place.
- What do you think?
- _
What? Dad, how'd you do this?
Went back in time, donated.
You're as good as in.
Thank you,
but I didn't really need a building.
Just needed you here.
Well, I thought you were
embarrassed to be with me.
I don't belong with these people.
I didn't wanna ruin your chances.
I'm sorry. It wasn't about you.
I was just ashamed of me.
What are you talking about?
Don't be stupid. You're great.
Yeah, but I don't
belong with them either.
I mean, the only reason
that I survived high school
was because I was imagining
that one day I would get out
and find my people.
They're never gonna
take me as one of them.
I don't really wanna be.
You don't have to impress
these idiots, these leeches.
You're twice the person they'll ever be.
Yeah, but so are you.
I mean, you fought a demon dog.
And these people think
that they're better than us
because they have
whales on their shorts?
What do you say we find a way
to piss off some rich kids?
I like the sound of that.
♪ Ready, set, go, move ♪
♪ Ready, set, go, move ♪
- ♪ Ready, set ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Go, move ♪
- ♪ Ready, set ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
- Give me that.
- ♪ Pull up with the drip ♪
♪ But let's see y'all can fit ♪
♪ Captain of the ship, lil mama... ♪
Wait, Astra, no, no, no,
you don't have to do this.
I am done listening to you.
Fine, then don't listen to me.
Listen to yourself.
Come on, you know this isn't right.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I don't know that.
Where I'm from, I had
to fight to survive.
This is all I know. This
is what life has made me.
I am not gonna change.
Hey, no, we don't want you
to give up who you are.
Look, when I joined the Legends,
I was a punk, all right?
And there wasn't a rule
that I couldn't break.
And guess what? I still am.
I just don't need to hurt people
to survive anymore because I have them.
Fine, so I don't burn down a house,
but what if I never
wanna dress as a moose
or sit through one of your
interminable team meetings?
Then we still got a place for you.
Did you come to party down?
No, we've come to get
the chalice and you.
Come on, Nate, you can't stay here.
Sure I can.
Dion says as long as he has followers,
he has the power to run this place
and grant people that cup.
Thought that'd be useful
information for you.
Can't really remember why.
Either way, I'm very
important here, so excuse me.
Shotgun Nate!
Shotgun Nate!
Wait...
The Olympians feed off devotion, right?
So that means that Dion
only has his followers
for as long as they worship
him as the party god,
so if we take away all these
followers from him, that's it.
The chalice is released from his grasp.
Okay, but the party isn't slowing down.
No, but there is one
way to get college kids
to leave a party.
Oh, wait, no, no, no,
please don't say...
And that is to throw
an even bigger party,
which means...
What is wrong with you people?
Come on.
The Deltas have got
to out-party Dionysus.
I am still in Hell, aren't I?
Come on.
I can't believe it! Delta's
very first house party.
You know, I'm actually excited.
I get it now.
Parties aren't just about getting drunk.
They're about building community.
This is so much better
than just some frat party.
Yeah, it would be if
anyone were here to see it.
So where is everybody?
You know what? I think I know.
_
I don't know why we thought
we could out-party Dion.
You know what? Let's not give up yet.
- Why not?
- We have drinks, games, music.
We did everything we were supposed to,
and no one came.
That's right.
We did everything that
we were supposed to.
But maybe we should ask ourselves...
what would Astra do?
If you really wanna win,
it is not enough to be
good at your own game.
You also have to take
out the competition,
so I am talking sabotage.
Yeah.
All right, what's the plan?
First, we take Dion out of play.
Now, I scoped out his place
when I was gonna burn it down,
and I have an idea.
♪ Hustle a lot ♪
♪ I'm all I got, I'm all I got ♪
♪ Busted the ops, busted the ops ♪
Ooh, 'sup, Charlie.
♪ Snitches get stitches ♪
♪ Money get... ♪
♪ I'm getting millions ♪
- Big-D!
- Yeah.
Now that I got my team out of your hair,
how 'bout we get a
fresh keg and celebrate?
I like how you think, Shotgun.
Once he's out, we mess with his party.
Anything we can do to kill the vibe.
Hacking into Dion's accounts, and...
Bye-bye, party playlist.
Hey, who cut the music?
What the hell is this?
Then we take out his booze.
And this is where all the magic happens.
Wow.
So, uh, are these all lagers?
- Whoa.
- I'm sorry, bro.
No hard feelings, yeah?
Dad, now!
Now the keg is tapped.
So final phase... hijack the party.
Hey, guys, I heard there's
a rager at Delta Chi Sigma.
So what we waiting for?
Let's go party.
♪ Hands in the air ♪
♪ Move it all around,
shake your derriere ♪
Gotta say it, you Legends
do know how to party.
Rory, are you able to
lift the chalice yet?
It's still not giving.
That doesn't make sense.
All of his followers are here.
Cool little trick you pulled back there.
Gotta appreciate a good stunt.
Still, I heard there was a party
that I wasn't invited
to, and that hurts.
We're getting that chalice, Dion.
Well, as long as I have my followers,
my Chug Cup isn't going anywhere,
and bros are bros for life.
Bros are bros for life!
Bros are bros for life!
Bros are bros for life!
- Bros are bros for life!
- Hey!
Your reign on this campus is over.
I challenge you to beer pong.
Ooh.
You do know I'm undefeated
in all my years on campus, right?
Yeah, but it might be pretty hard
to hold on to all your followers
once they watch me demolish you.
Ooh.
So come on, D-Bag.
What do you say?
Winner takes all, Dartmouth rules.
Well,
you know I can't say no to a challenge.
Hmm, stupid whimsy. You're on.
But if I win,
Delta house gets shut down.
No sorority and no Chug Cup.
You sure about this, babe?
'Cause, you know, you can't see.
Oh, I've played some
beer pong in my life,
and plus superpowers, remember?
The game is beer pong.
Now, sink a ball into a cup
and the other player drinks it,
and to make it even more fun,
body saves are fair game.
So remember, everybody, the first player
to clear the other's cups takes it all.
Now, opponents, please shake hands.
May the best player win.
Whatever.
And pong!
Chug!
Kay.
Chug, chug, chug!
Oh!
- Yes!
- Whoo!
This point wins it.
All right, let's do this.
Whoo!
- Whoa.
- Oh!
I'm sorry, dude.
Our winner!
We gotta give it to her.
Wait, wait, wait, what
happened to bros for life?
I...
Come on, I know you wanna say it.
- Aw.
- I will not.
- Aw.
- Then I will.
Go...
Sisters!
Whoo!
Huh?
Got your cup.
- Yay!
- Yeah!
Best father-daughter weekend ever.
I can't believe that actually worked.
Yeah, you'll get used to it.
We couldn't have done it
without the three of you.
Yeah, thanks for sticking with us
even when we were right gits.
It's been real, ladies.
I'm sorry this chapter
of Delta Chi Sigma
has to come to an end.
Oh, it's not over.
We're gonna keep Delta house going.
What?
After the party, I applied
for a house on Greek row.
Fitting in is hard enough...
so many people telling you
what to do and what to wear.
Now there's a space for people
to figure it out for themselves
thanks to you guys.
I get it. You're welcome.
All right, ladies...
- Oy.
- What?
One for the road?
Deltas!
- Bye, sisters.
- Aww.
- Bye!
- Gonna miss you!
- Just say no to drugs, kids.
- Don't do it.
- Youth.
- It's not worth it.
I need a nap.
You guys earned the good stuff.
You won the chalice, and with it,
immortality for a day.
All right, guess it's time to chug.
To Behrad,
and to your mum.
Well,
it's actually quite a lot
of responsibility, really.
And that is a lot of wine.
Why don't we all just drink from it?
I mean, who said there only
has to be three fates, right?
Yeah, we could all
use the Loom together.
Yeah, you're not alone in this, love.
Yeah, immortality sounds pretty epic.
Let's drink.
- Let's all do it then.
- Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm not gonna
drink... super haram...
but I trust all of you to
bring my baby brother back.
Here goes nothing.
Oy.
Mm.
That's it.
Well, not exactly, bro.
Oh, wow, you are all glowing.
Oh, must be the moisturizer
you recommended.
Like, my skin feels tighter.
Mm-mm, literally...
you're literally glowing.
Guys, we did it.
Whoo, whoo!
Come on, let's go and use that Loom!
And remember,
no looming anything
that'll ruin my party.
Not that you would, Clotho.
I can tell you're still chill.
That's right.
Later days, Shotgun.
Later days, Dion!
You guys got some trippy art here.
This cane was yelling at me.
Yeah, I'll take that nice one, love.
Sounds like someone's
had too much to drink.
Let's get you outta here.
Bye.
Hello, traitor.
Just the woman I wanted to see.
Don't bother trying to win me back.
I don't need you anymore.
When you asked for my help
killing John Constantine,
I warned you you would be in my debt.
Well, honey, I'm calling in the favor.
There's gotta be some
spell, some potion,
something to give us the power
so we can touch the Loom
without turning extra crispy.
There's also the question of
who's gonna use it with me.
The Loom requires three weavers
who are as powerful as gods.
Well, I'm not leaving my mom's life
in the hands of you idiots.
Wow, okay, well, that's one person.
What do you think, Sara?
I mean, I'm already a blind,
time-traveling paragon
who can see the future,
so might as well just add
wannabe god to the list.
Speaking of which, can
you use your Sara-vision
to tell me if what I
need is in this book?
Nothing there.
You know, you could just read the book.
You know, I would do
anything to save Behrad,
but this is faster.
These are all the spell books
in the manor you asked for.
Yes, you're a good man, Gary.
And these are for you.
Mm... can you just give them to me?
Thank you.
Shouldn't you be resting?
Shouldn't you get out of my face?
- Yep.
- You know, he's right, love.
Getting some rest
wouldn't be a bad thing.
Not gonna happen.
Look, the sooner we find
this magical cure-all,
then the sooner we can use
the Loom and get my sight back.
Uh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
This book says that Merlin
used the Philosopher's Stone.
Pshh, that thing's as real as Santa.
Shh, Gary's in the room.
- What?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
The Chalice of Dionysus.
It says here that the chalice
was gifted to an Olympian,
Dionysus, by his father, Zeus.
Whoever drinks from it becomes a god.
But only for a day.
Well, don't get your
hopes up, all right?
The Olympians fed off devotions.
Once they lost their
followers, they just died off.
And their enchanted
objects... lost to time.
I've seen that.
I've seen that. I've
seen that in college.
Okay, your degree is finally paying off.
What class did you see it in?
Oh, that was not in a class.
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!
Chug, chug, chug, chug!
It's called the Chug Cup, all right?
Campus legend said that
whoever drank from it
became invincible for a day.
And I went to a rival
school, so the only way
I could get a taste of
it is if we, you know...
Hey! Who's that?
Hudson sucks! Brixton rules!
Whoa!
Yeah!
Stole it.
Do we really think
that Dionysus's Chalice
is with a bunch of frat boys?
- Yes.
- A scan of social media confirms
that a chalice matching that of Dionysus
is currently in possession of
the Sigma Psi Phi fraternity
at Hudson University.
So we get that, I become immortal,
use the Loom, and I can
forget I ever knew you people.
Well then, Legends,
you better get your togas dry-cleaned
because we are going Greek.
- So, babe, all right, every year,
- _
the Chug Cup is presented
at the student fair,
and then, apparently,
fraternities and sororities
compete for the right to drink in it
in something called the Chug Challenge.
Definitely our best place
to try to steal the chalice.
Truth.
Okay, I can get around the ship,
but I'm not so sure
about navigating my way
through a bunch of drunk college kids...
- Mm-hmm.
- So you got this.
- Yeah.
- Team loves you.
- Don't worry.
- Okay, I know... I'm not really worried
about them accepting me.
The college kids on the other hand...
Hi, Aunt Ava, Sara.
Lita, honey, I am so, so
glad that you're still here.
I need you to help me with something.
Um, what are the, like,
kids into these days?
Like, I need 'em to think I'm cool.
- Mission's at Hudson U.
- Yeah.
Oh, my guidance counselor
told me to apply there.
- Oh.
- Sweetie, that's amazing.
Oh, I can't afford it.
You should do it.
If you wanna do it,
I can make it happen.
Yeah, I mean, it could be cool
to take a tour. We're here, right?
Yeah, yeah, the mission's
all good, Rory.
- You should definitely do that.
- Okay, thanks.
Um, if you want kids to think
you're cool, I wouldn't wear that.
They're gonna think
you look like a narc.
I'm... what... I...
_
Welcome to Hudson University.
You smell that?
Mmm, that smells like
the good, old days.
I've had it. I can't breathe in here.
Ooh, maybe it was for the better.
What is that smell?
Okay, so the Sigmas hosted the games.
We find them, we find the cup.
Great, let's fan out. Zari, thank you.
- Nate, take up the north end.
- Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
Astra, Charlie, you guys are...
Let's just find this chalice
so we can get this over with.
I wasn't finished, but...
- I'll go after her.
- Thank you.
♪ You only wish you could be me ♪
- Pledge Theta. Find your girl gang.
- _
Maybe you can tell me where I can find
the Chalice of Dionysus.
Sorry, we're just really excited
about the Chug Challenge.
Why are we even doing this?
- We should just take it by force.
- Listen to me.
In order to use the Loom, the
weavers have to be in sync.
Now, I'm not gonna let you use it
unless you can prove that
you can work as a team.
Let me?
I left Hell 'cause I was
done working for a Fate.
And that was Quincy Hall,
our economics building.
Hudson has the top
program in the country.
- Oh, did you hear that, Henry?
- Yeah.
He's majoring in finance.
I told him you have to go to Hudson.
Well, you know that's
not the only reason, Gene.
Guilty.
I want him to follow in Dad's footsteps.
I'm an alumnus. You
probably noticed the scarf.
Yeah.
I'd like to wring your neck with it.
- What was that?
- I said...
I said it's a great building,
good brick structure, fire resistant.
Oh, you really know your architecture.
- Where did you study?
- Iron Heights.
Haven't heard of it.
It's a super prestigious art school.
Oh.
Just go with it.
I can't believe I'm back here.
They used to call me Shotgun Nate.
I think I know why, but why?
Is that true, Pops?
Show us what you got.
Pops?
Pop...
Pops.
Pops.
- And I also turn to steel.
- Whoa!
Okay, come on, Grandpa.
We gotta keep looking.
Sigma Psi Phi.
Sigma Psi Phi! Sigma Psi Phi!
Ava, I think we found the Sigmas.
Ava, hello?
Ugh.
Ugh.
I'm on my way.
Sigma Psi Phi!
Sigma Psi Phi! Sigma Psi Phi!
Sigma Psi Phi!
Sigma Psi Phi! Sigma Psi Phi!
- Sigma Psi Phi!
- Huh!
Oh, wow.
That was just like my
entrance to the 2044 VMAs.
What's up, Hudson Hedonists?
Welcome to the Chug Challenges pregame!
- That's the chalice...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- That's Dion.
- Hm?
He was the head of the
Sigmas when I was in school.
The guy hasn't aged a day.
We have so much in common, like...
Dude, that's because
your Dion is Dionysus.
This is the Greek god
of wine and revelry.
God, the guy's a riot, honestly.
Now, as Chug Keeper, I get the honor
of announcing our 2020 challenges!
I will reveal the first round
tonight at the Sigma rager!
Now let the challenge begin!
Look, just leave this to me, all right?
Oy, Dion.
Should I say, Dionysus? It's me, Clotho.
- Clotho?
- Yes.
Damn, it's really you!
My God.
The Loombreaker is in the house!
Dude, back before people had free will,
the gods were always
reigning in the party.
But look at me now!
You're in college.
Yeah, I know. I'm a lifer.
Found a place where
the party doesn't stop,
and I haven't left since.
Honestly, they worship me here,
and they don't even know
that I'm the party god.
- Hey, listen, man.
- Yeah.
I kind of wanted to ask
a little favor of you.
Yeah, anything for
the Loombreaker, and...
- sick, is this your squad?
- Yeah.
Yeah, they call me Shotgun Nate.
- I went to Brixton, but...
- All right, enough of this.
Whoa, whoa, what...
Hey, whoa.
So that's why you're really here.
Wanted to give your gang a
little taste of immortality?
Hmm? Is that what it is?
But here's the thing.
To pick this up, you gotta be Greek,
and I gotta deem you worthy.
Okay, how are we supposed to do that?
Ah, good question...
you gotta either join
a sorority, a fraternity,
or a frorority,
and you gotta win the Chug Challenge.
This is ridiculous.
Ah, and that's what makes it fun.
See you, Clotho.
- He's still so... ow.
- Just stop.
I need to focus. I need
to think of something.
- I have an idea...
- No.
Something that does not involve maiming.
Since the chalice belongs to Dion,
we gotta follow his rules.
You guys, we're gonna win that cup.
So what you're saying is
in order to use the Loom of Fate,
we have to join a sorority?
Finally, a mission I can get behind.
Luckily for us, the Thetas are hosting
a pledge social today.
This cannot be your plan.
Look, as long as Dion's got the cup,
we gotta play by his rules.
Counterpoint, you don't get
anywhere playing by the rules.
Oh, really? Because I think
I was about to win him over
before you tried to nab the cup.
Hey, okay, so,
who wants to rush Theta Lambda Ro?
No, no, no, no, no. Just stop.
Charlie, Astra, you'll pledge Theta.
Just try to remember you're
on the same side, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, sure we are.
She's exhausting.
So I'm doing track and debate,
plus my dad got me this internship.
What are your extracurriculars?
I was in band for a while, but I quit
'cause no one else wanted
to play the Replacements.
And I have a part-time
job. I heard that helps.
Actually, to get into a place like this,
you'll really wanna build
out your application.
And here we are at Neuman hall.
The name might sound familiar
to some families on this tour.
Oh, Henry Neuman.
This is actually my
grandfather's building,
which should help my
chances of getting in here.
Hey, hope I didn't miss
too much of the tour.
Just to be super clear, I'm
not a prospective student, okay?
My name's Dr. Nate Heywood.
I got my PhD from Brixton.
Go big red!
Oh, a doctor.
- Yeah.
- And Lita's dad.
- What?
- What?
Just go with it.
Thank you for your inquiry.
I think it's really...
Hi, how's it going?
Hi.
I can't believe we are this
close to becoming Thetas.
I don't even know you,
but we could be sisters.
I'm only here as a performance.
Notice my empty teacup...
a commentary on the
emptiness of this charade.
Oh, my God, we should
start a group text.
What are your numbers?
Welcome to the Theta luncheon.
Everybody, look around you.
This could be your new family.
The ones you turn to for support,
sisterhood, guidance...
that is, as long as you make the cut.
So...
Bid Theta, all right?
What are you doing?
Come on, we've got to try
and convince these people
no matter what. Now just
try and fit in please.
Fine. Want me to fit in?
Waiter, replace this drink.
If I wanted weak tea, I'd rush Omega.
Oh, this girl's fire.
I like that.
We're gonna start with your table.
This here is the house paddle,
our most sacred object.
I'm going to ask a question,
and when you're holding the paddle,
it's your turn to answer, okay?
Mm.
What did you do before college?
So I grew up in Hell,
had minions do my bidding,
and rose to power till I
practically ran the place.
Oh, and she's ambitious.
Now you go.
Oh, okay, well,
I traveled around the world
- with a bunch of friends...
- Oh, more like rejects.
But before that,
I was actually in this
really cool punk band.
Yeah, Thetas don't really do punk.
Yeah, I know her type.
You pretend like you're all
about bucking the system,
and then you get pissed
when people don't fall
in line behind you.
You think you're better than
the sisters you ran away from,
but the truth is, you're all the same.
That's a little bit rich, isn't it?
Coming from my sister's lapdog.
No, just...
No!
Oh, Theta... no.
You know what?
This whole table is exiled.
None of you are Theta material.
How'd the mission go?
You immortal sorority girls yet?
I need a drink.
Mm, the refreshing sound of failure.
We would be well on our way
to using the Loom right now
if someone hadn't blown it.
Our cover was blown
because you decided
to go Hell mode on us.
Oh, you think that was Hell mode?
- Honey.
- Call me "honey" again.
Go on, I dare you.
Try me and you'll
wish you were immortal.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, okay, whoa, whoa, stop.
No one's killing anyone.
Ooh, Astra was definitely
gonna go for it.
Zari, hide that fork.
Charlie, just chill. Please sit down.
Just take a breath, yeah?
All right, you good? Okay.
All right, we need to find
another way to get the chalice.
You can't defy a god.
We have to win as a sorority,
and with no sorority...
- We're screwed.
- Yeah.
Ladies, we're gonna start our own.
I can't tell. Is she serious?
I think so.
Becoming an official
sorority by tonight?
I mean, the paperwork alone would...
- Let's do it.
- Yes.
Why not?
I really should have killed
you all when I had the chance.
Go sisters!
Whoo.
We'll get there.
Oh!
Do you think my dad's okay?
Oh, yeah, he comes
and goes as he pleases.
It's really part of his charm.
Bright side is I get to show
you what college is all about.
This is Greek row.
This is where the fraternities
and the sororities live.
They're the most influential
people on campus...
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
These are the guys
that have the chalice?
- Mm-hmm.
- I wish I could be more impressed.
Call the bro patrol.
Looks like somebody wants to party!
Is he talking to us?
- Act cool, be cool.
- I know...
Shut up.
This is Agent Heywood to bro patrol.
Desire to party confirmed.
Whoo!
How cool was that?
- Do you have a man crush?
- No, it's unrequited.
- You should tell him.
- Shut up.
Super stoked that you're here.
Anyone who's a friend of the Loombreaker
is chill with me,
so snag some bags and some brews.
Oh, and fear not.
We have energy drinks
for the little ones.
It's all peers no
pressures at Casa de Sigma.
Uh, I wanna say that's tight,
but I got responsibilities.
Well, hey, come by anytime,
and we'll party like it's 1999.
Wait, hold on, you said
these are the guys
- that have the chalice, right?
- Uh-huh.
So why don't you go
inside and get requited,
and I can do some scouting
and find out where they keep it?
Only if your dad doesn't try
to set me on fire while I'm asleep.
- Deal?
- Yeah, deal.
All right, so what are we doing?
League rules or two points
for those overhangs?
Okay, I call to order
the charter meeting
of Delta Chi Sigma,
Sisterhood of Legends.
Let's make a sorority.
First step, we need a house.
I say we steal the Theta's place.
You disable the carbon
monoxide detector,
I'll go in, cut the power...
Or, I have a more non-fatal idea.
There's a place that's been empty
since Pi Epsilon's last rager.
It was something about de-Jello-ing.
Oh, that is really foul.
Yeah, but with a little trickery...
I'll just open up a portal.
Instant remodel.
They'll never know the difference.
You know, I can't believe
I let you talk me into this.
It's not my fault you can't resist
my effortless charms.
Obviously we're gonna
have to redecorate.
Well, you lot have fun.
I can't bear to watch
you desecrate this place.
Oh, and watch out for these bad boys.
- They bite.
- Mm.
So do I.
Okay, so in order to
be a official sorority,
we need three more sisters,
and if we wanna win that chalice,
they gotta be good, so,
Gideon, what do you got?
Inez Martin was voted out of pep squad
for being too enthusiastic.
Hey, how's it going?
What's up? Hi.
Hey there!
- Oh, uh, Inez, right?
- Yes.
This is weird, but I was just wondering
- if you wanted to join...
- Definitely.
But you didn't even know what I was...
Oh, it doesn't matter.
Where can I meet you?
Lisa Lindhome, aspiring influencer,
shunned after becoming the
subject of a viral video
entitled, "Girl Snarts at Party".
Wait, what is a snart?
Oh, it's when you sneeze and...
Eh, let's not.
Let's just ease Astra back
onto Earth, all right?
Fair.
♪ I hope you work well under pressure ♪
- ♪ A is for apple, B for bae ♪
- _
- ♪ See all these people going cray ♪
- _
- ♪ Don't be ashamed, the teacher's pet ♪
- _
♪ Knows all of the
secrets, don't forget ♪
♪ A is for apple, B for bae ♪
- ♪ See all these people going cray ♪
- _
♪ Don't be ashamed, the teacher's pet ♪
♪ Knows all of the
secrets, don't forget ♪
♪ You better work ♪
Silvia Hines.
Created her own major
in performance art.
You're the ones who tried
to kill each other at the tea party.
Yeah, about that...
we've actually started
our own sorority...
What is the point of partying
with a bunch of brain-dead wastoids?
I get it.
Seems impossible to
feel any kind of power
in a cruel, dying world, right?
But have you considered
that winning the masses over
with the illusion of fun
might be the perfect way to
ply them to do your bidding?
♪ 'Cause I hope you work
well under pressure ♪
- I'm in.
- Unfortunately, Captain,
the pool of Theta rejects is slim.
Beggars can't be choosers.
I like 'em.
We chose you because
we know what it's like
looking for a place to belong
because we, too, were there at your age.
That's why we've created that place.
And as of today,
you are Deltas.
Welcome to the sisterhood.
Wait, are you blind?
- Yes.
- I love it.
Deltas are so inclusive.
But don't we need a motto?
We can't do anything without a motto.
Yeah, the sisters...
Are the glue...
Glue that greases the wheels of time.
But that doesn't make any sense.
It's called avant-garde.
What about,
"We might not have it all together,
but together, we have it all"?
Okay, I need that on
a T-shirt, like, now.
Okay, go...
Sisters!
Sisters!
I'm telling you, I can take it.
Dude, it's 2020. We don't do that any...
Da, da, da, da, just do it.
Yeah.
Whoa!
It's like his ass is made of steel!
'Cause it is.
Whoa.
Keg's here, D.
- Whoa, hey, man.
- Hey.
So glad that you found us.
I knew that you had brotential
the second I saw you.
That's nice of you.
I wanted to mark the occasion.
It's my special stash.
I brew it out back.
I hope you like IPAs.
Bro, I am all about the IPAs.
- Yeah?
- You mind?
Heyo, hit it!
- My man.
- Mmm, so good.
It's good, yeah, that brew right there,
honestly, will just take
you back to the glory days
and make you forget all about
that stupid and
stressful world out there.
Honestly, it's magic, bro.
Yeah, I, um...
I just need to check up...
I feel awesome!
- Ah, I knew you would.
- Thank you!
Hey, I wanted to ask you something.
What?
Why did you and your friends
really end up here of all places?
Aww, man, they're cool.
We just wanted to take your chalice
so we can use the Loom of Fate.
Are you saying that the Loombreaker
is a Loom faker?
Bro,
you're a looker and a cooker.
Right, but she puts
that Loom together...
mm.
I mean, there goes free will.
There goes the party...
And that is very not tight.
Our name is Delta Chi Sigma.
We've assembled an
elite team of women...
To save this campus from
the cliques and cruelty
- of the common Greek house.
- ♪ Craving bad attention ♪
And together, we will
display true sisterhood.
And win the Chug Challenge.
Ready and throw.
♪ Got nothing to prove ♪
♪ Be my friends, we go savage ♪
And then party!
♪ No telling what could happen ♪
♪ Me and my friends ♪
♪ Everybody wants to know our names ♪
♪ Everybody trying to DM
But please, don't call us heroes.
Call us Deltas!
And post.
All right, we are officially
a part of the Chug Challenge.
Yeah, this should scare the competition,
Yeah, and put us well on
track to using the Loom.
Okay, I think this
calls for a snack party.
Who wants nachos?
It's my brother's special recipe.
Hey, I just wanted to say thank you.
I've just always been so focused on
changing the world at all costs that
I just push people away.
So thanks.
Oh, I mean, they're
really the ones who...
Thank you.
Loom or no Loom, at least
some things are changing.
I can still put a stiletto
through your head,
but your plan does seem to be working.
I still think it's the stupidest way
to get what we want, but...
'Sup, ladies.
Heard there was a new
sorority on the block,
had to come and hit y'all
with that Big-D welcome.
What?
You guys tricked out this place.
Ho! Gargoyles in sunglasses?
Sick! So sick!
- Nate, what the hell are you...
- No.
It's Shotgun Nate!
You guys have got to come to Dion's.
I mean, it makes me wonder
why I ever left college.
Dionysus has the power to put people
in a constant state of ecstasy.
Nate's under his spell.
You mean Shotgun Nate.
Yeah, we're gonna go train
for your dumb challenge,
so go bother some other house.
Oh, right, ugh.
I'm not here just to
meet the new neighbors.
I also wanted to tell you
that you're disqualified
from the Chug Challenges.
There's no way you're
getting that chalice.
The hell are you on about?
Well, Shotgun told me
why you're really here.
And the thing is, I just can't
have you using that Loom.
Thing's a total buzzkill.
We did everything you said,
played by every stupid rule.
You can't just change them on us now.
Well, yeah, I can.
I mean, who says that
you have to play fair?
I'm a god!
I just gotta keep it whimsical, bro!
Let's roll!
Whimsy, whimsy!
- Who was at the door?
- Ugh!
Oh, what's wrong?
We're not getting the
chalice, that's what.
Dion's refusing to let us
participate in the challenges.
He somehow got to Nate,
figured out what we're doing.
Of course he did.
It's okay. We will figure this out.
I am done trying to figure
this out with you people.
I should've done this
my way from the start,
so I'm taking that chalice by force.
Look, even if you
tried, that won't work.
You can't defy a god.
And there is no way you're
using the Loom on your own.
Being a grown up sounds weird.
If I can't get Dion's cup,
I can at least make him suffer...
him and all his bros,
including your
hyp-bro-tized friend, Nate.
Hold on a minute. You can't do that.
We're a sisterhood, remember?
You can stop feeding
me that line right now.
You pretend we're sisters,
but all you do is expect me to change.
I'm only your sister if
I become more like you.
Astra, calm down. It's not...
You never listen to my ideas,
and I see how you all look at me.
I might be new to this,
but that is not sisterhood,
and I am done trying to fit in.
Hey, got your text.
Hey.
Where were you?
Trying to get you into this place.
- What do you think?
- _
What? Dad, how'd you do this?
Went back in time, donated.
You're as good as in.
Thank you,
but I didn't really need a building.
Just needed you here.
Well, I thought you were
embarrassed to be with me.
I don't belong with these people.
I didn't wanna ruin your chances.
I'm sorry. It wasn't about you.
I was just ashamed of me.
What are you talking about?
Don't be stupid. You're great.
Yeah, but I don't
belong with them either.
I mean, the only reason
that I survived high school
was because I was imagining
that one day I would get out
and find my people.
They're never gonna
take me as one of them.
I don't really wanna be.
You don't have to impress
these idiots, these leeches.
You're twice the person they'll ever be.
Yeah, but so are you.
I mean, you fought a demon dog.
And these people think
that they're better than us
because they have
whales on their shorts?
What do you say we find a way
to piss off some rich kids?
I like the sound of that.
♪ Ready, set, go, move ♪
♪ Ready, set, go, move ♪
- ♪ Ready, set ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Go, move ♪
- ♪ Ready, set ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
- Give me that.
- ♪ Pull up with the drip ♪
♪ But let's see y'all can fit ♪
♪ Captain of the ship, lil mama... ♪
Wait, Astra, no, no, no,
you don't have to do this.
I am done listening to you.
Fine, then don't listen to me.
Listen to yourself.
Come on, you know this isn't right.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I don't know that.
Where I'm from, I had
to fight to survive.
This is all I know. This
is what life has made me.
I am not gonna change.
Hey, no, we don't want you
to give up who you are.
Look, when I joined the Legends,
I was a punk, all right?
And there wasn't a rule
that I couldn't break.
And guess what? I still am.
I just don't need to hurt people
to survive anymore because I have them.
Fine, so I don't burn down a house,
but what if I never
wanna dress as a moose
or sit through one of your
interminable team meetings?
Then we still got a place for you.
Did you come to party down?
No, we've come to get
the chalice and you.
Come on, Nate, you can't stay here.
Sure I can.
Dion says as long as he has followers,
he has the power to run this place
and grant people that cup.
Thought that'd be useful
information for you.
Can't really remember why.
Either way, I'm very
important here, so excuse me.
Shotgun Nate!
Shotgun Nate!
Wait...
The Olympians feed off devotion, right?
So that means that Dion
only has his followers
for as long as they worship
him as the party god,
so if we take away all these
followers from him, that's it.
The chalice is released from his grasp.
Okay, but the party isn't slowing down.
No, but there is one
way to get college kids
to leave a party.
Oh, wait, no, no, no,
please don't say...
And that is to throw
an even bigger party,
which means...
What is wrong with you people?
Come on.
The Deltas have got
to out-party Dionysus.
I am still in Hell, aren't I?
Come on.
I can't believe it! Delta's
very first house party.
You know, I'm actually excited.
I get it now.
Parties aren't just about getting drunk.
They're about building community.
This is so much better
than just some frat party.
Yeah, it would be if
anyone were here to see it.
So where is everybody?
You know what? I think I know.
_
I don't know why we thought
we could out-party Dion.
You know what? Let's not give up yet.
- Why not?
- We have drinks, games, music.
We did everything we were supposed to,
and no one came.
That's right.
We did everything that
we were supposed to.
But maybe we should ask ourselves...
what would Astra do?
If you really wanna win,
it is not enough to be
good at your own game.
You also have to take
out the competition,
so I am talking sabotage.
Yeah.
All right, what's the plan?
First, we take Dion out of play.
Now, I scoped out his place
when I was gonna burn it down,
and I have an idea.
♪ Hustle a lot ♪
♪ I'm all I got, I'm all I got ♪
♪ Busted the ops, busted the ops ♪
Ooh, 'sup, Charlie.
♪ Snitches get stitches ♪
♪ Money get... ♪
♪ I'm getting millions ♪
- Big-D!
- Yeah.
Now that I got my team out of your hair,
how 'bout we get a
fresh keg and celebrate?
I like how you think, Shotgun.
Once he's out, we mess with his party.
Anything we can do to kill the vibe.
Hacking into Dion's accounts, and...
Bye-bye, party playlist.
Hey, who cut the music?
What the hell is this?
Then we take out his booze.
And this is where all the magic happens.
Wow.
So, uh, are these all lagers?
- Whoa.
- I'm sorry, bro.
No hard feelings, yeah?
Dad, now!
Now the keg is tapped.
So final phase... hijack the party.
Hey, guys, I heard there's
a rager at Delta Chi Sigma.
So what we waiting for?
Let's go party.
♪ Hands in the air ♪
♪ Move it all around,
shake your derriere ♪
Gotta say it, you Legends
do know how to party.
Rory, are you able to
lift the chalice yet?
It's still not giving.
That doesn't make sense.
All of his followers are here.
Cool little trick you pulled back there.
Gotta appreciate a good stunt.
Still, I heard there was a party
that I wasn't invited
to, and that hurts.
We're getting that chalice, Dion.
Well, as long as I have my followers,
my Chug Cup isn't going anywhere,
and bros are bros for life.
Bros are bros for life!
Bros are bros for life!
Bros are bros for life!
- Bros are bros for life!
- Hey!
Your reign on this campus is over.
I challenge you to beer pong.
Ooh.
You do know I'm undefeated
in all my years on campus, right?
Yeah, but it might be pretty hard
to hold on to all your followers
once they watch me demolish you.
Ooh.
So come on, D-Bag.
What do you say?
Winner takes all, Dartmouth rules.
Well,
you know I can't say no to a challenge.
Hmm, stupid whimsy. You're on.
But if I win,
Delta house gets shut down.
No sorority and no Chug Cup.
You sure about this, babe?
'Cause, you know, you can't see.
Oh, I've played some
beer pong in my life,
and plus superpowers, remember?
The game is beer pong.
Now, sink a ball into a cup
and the other player drinks it,
and to make it even more fun,
body saves are fair game.
So remember, everybody, the first player
to clear the other's cups takes it all.
Now, opponents, please shake hands.
May the best player win.
Whatever.
And pong!
Chug!
Kay.
Chug, chug, chug!
Oh!
- Yes!
- Whoo!
This point wins it.
All right, let's do this.
Whoo!
- Whoa.
- Oh!
I'm sorry, dude.
Our winner!
We gotta give it to her.
Wait, wait, wait, what
happened to bros for life?
I...
Come on, I know you wanna say it.
- Aw.
- I will not.
- Aw.
- Then I will.
Go...
Sisters!
Whoo!
Huh?
Got your cup.
- Yay!
- Yeah!
Best father-daughter weekend ever.
I can't believe that actually worked.
Yeah, you'll get used to it.
We couldn't have done it
without the three of you.
Yeah, thanks for sticking with us
even when we were right gits.
It's been real, ladies.
I'm sorry this chapter
of Delta Chi Sigma
has to come to an end.
Oh, it's not over.
We're gonna keep Delta house going.
What?
After the party, I applied
for a house on Greek row.
Fitting in is hard enough...
so many people telling you
what to do and what to wear.
Now there's a space for people
to figure it out for themselves
thanks to you guys.
I get it. You're welcome.
All right, ladies...
- Oy.
- What?
One for the road?
Deltas!
- Bye, sisters.
- Aww.
- Bye!
- Gonna miss you!
- Just say no to drugs, kids.
- Don't do it.
- Youth.
- It's not worth it.
I need a nap.
You guys earned the good stuff.
You won the chalice, and with it,
immortality for a day.
All right, guess it's time to chug.
To Behrad,
and to your mum.
Well,
it's actually quite a lot
of responsibility, really.
And that is a lot of wine.
Why don't we all just drink from it?
I mean, who said there only
has to be three fates, right?
Yeah, we could all
use the Loom together.
Yeah, you're not alone in this, love.
Yeah, immortality sounds pretty epic.
Let's drink.
- Let's all do it then.
- Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm not gonna
drink... super haram...
but I trust all of you to
bring my baby brother back.
Here goes nothing.
Oy.
Mm.
That's it.
Well, not exactly, bro.
Oh, wow, you are all glowing.
Oh, must be the moisturizer
you recommended.
Like, my skin feels tighter.
Mm-mm, literally...
you're literally glowing.
Guys, we did it.
Whoo, whoo!
Come on, let's go and use that Loom!
And remember,
no looming anything
that'll ruin my party.
Not that you would, Clotho.
I can tell you're still chill.
That's right.
Later days, Shotgun.
Later days, Dion!
You guys got some trippy art here.
This cane was yelling at me.
Yeah, I'll take that nice one, love.
Sounds like someone's
had too much to drink.
Let's get you outta here.
Bye.
Hello, traitor.
Just the woman I wanted to see.
Don't bother trying to win me back.
I don't need you anymore.
When you asked for my help
killing John Constantine,
I warned you you would be in my debt.
Well, honey, I'm calling in the favor.