Legends of Tomorrow (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 6 - Tender Is the Nate - full transcript

Hanks Heywood confronts Ava about the spending habits of the Legends; Mona tries to make a good impression with Ava, but her eagerness gets her and Ava stuck in a cell together.

Previously on
"Legends of Tomorrow"...

That's my dad.

This must be one of his
secret government projects

- he could never tell me about.
- Yeah, my whole life,

I always believed
my power was evil.

Nora Dark, hands up!

It's time for me to pay for my past.

I just believe
she can be a better person.

- Amaya.
- It just looks like her.

She's a shape-shifter.

She's still adjusting
to her knew home.



I'm gonna green-light
additional funding

to fast-track the completion
of your containment facility.

Is that a Kaupe?

I can't believe you guys
have magical creatures here.

This is, like,
the coolest place ever.

Hey, Ava,
hope I'm not too early.

It's Director Sharpe.

And you're not early, Mona.
You're late.

- Oh, no, are you firing me?
- Why does this always happen?

I'm not firing you, Mona.

Awesome, because I cannot
wait to decorate my cubicle.

There's Rose from
"Golden Girls."

She's, like,
the OG of girl power.

- Am I right?
- No.



Take that off
and anything else that's metal.

Leave the toys with these guys.

You do not want
to bring anything

into the containment unit
that can be used

as a weapon against you.

But Rose couldn't hurt a fly.

Your job is to feed
our various magical detainees.

Keeping these creatures secure

is the Bureau's newest
and highest priority.

Aloha, Kaupe.

Good to see you.

Each cell is encoded

with the captive's genetic signature,

allowing you to pass them provisions

all while keeping you safe
from the monsters.

Well, this place definitely
needs decorating.

Now, for the Kaupe,
we're gonna need a palm tree,

- some volcanic rock...
- This is a prison, Mona,

not a home.

Let's go.

And they are our prisoners,
not our friends.

Which is especially true
of our most recent acquisition.

Nora Dark.

Of all the creatures here,
she's the most despicable.

Hi, I'm Mona.

I'm your magical caretaker.

So if you have any
dietary restrictions

or special requests,
be sure to let me know.

Um...

you should have this.

It just came out.
It's called "Uncaged Desire."

Actually, there is something
you can get me, Mona.

Anything, just... you name it.

Some peace... and quiet.

Hmm?

I think you just learned
a very valuable lesson, Mona.

Don't fraternize
with the prisoners.

I told you, no interrup...

Well, you're not Gary.

Perceptive.

And those are not work shoes.

What are you doing here?

Don't play coy with me.

Happy birthday, Director Sharpe.

- Oh, sweet God.
- Um...

wow.

You know that
I don't normally like

to celebrate my birthday, but...

Well, I am here to fix that,
so close your eyes.

What?

- I said close your eyes.
- Okay. Okay.

Are you ready
for your birthday present?

Yes.

Are we really doing this?

Oh!

Director Sharpe,
we need to talk.

Of course, sir.

I-I was just, uh, meditating.

There's this great app that...

Meditate on this.

- Oh, my God.
- Exactly.

These are expenses generated
by the crew of the Waverider,

the tip of the Time Bureau
spear...

- Mm-hmm.
- Your Legends.

You said they were worth
the additional funding.

Let me refer you to some
of my favorite line items.

$135 million for a new Timecore.

What was wrong with the old one?

Oh, well, um, Rip blew it up

when he sacrificed his life
to save the world.

Sacrifice is right.

$1.7 million
for historical costumes.

Mm-hmm. Well, admittedly,
their costumes are flamboyant.

A line item for, and I quote,

"assorted condiments."
Assorted?

No one ever accused
the Legends of starving, sir.

If I didn't know any better,

I'd say you were in bed
with the Legends.

Either that,
or this Captain Sara Lance

is simply screwing you.

- What? Screwing me...
- Sara Lance?

Sir, that is... that is crazy.

Which is exactly what the
Pentagon is going to call me

unless we find a way
to justify these numbers.

Got it, sir.

Whew!

I... look,

I know that your team
is worth the money,

- but I...
- I will talk to the team,

see if we can tighten our belts.

Thank you.

I increase their budget

so they can build
magical containment cells

to start capturing
these creatures.

Meanwhile, they're running
a nine-figure deficit

on a timeship.

Okay, take a deep breath, Hank.

If you knew
what the Legends did,

you'd realize they're... they're
worth every single penny.

Now, how about this?
I'll set up a ride-along.

You can meet the gang
and see where I used to live.

I can see where
my money's going.

- Sure.
- You're right.

Why don't we go now?

Now?

You know, um, we should
probably give 'em a chance,

you know, to clean up.

We can't warn them we're coming.

That would defeat the purpose.

Okay, um...

I mean, I got
to hail the Waverider,

and that's gonna take forever.

Nathaniel, as your boss,

I demand you take me
to the Waverider.

Gonna play the boss card again?

Okay, then, sir...
Captain Heywood.

Let's go see what the Legends
are up to.

Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
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I can deal with Hank,
and we still have

plenty of time to get things
on the ship back in order.

What are they...

- I should probably...
- Go! Go. Go.

Delivery for Sara...

Damn it.

Sorry.

Wait, don't forget your, um...

Birthday cake.

Red alert, Nate is on the ship,

and he brought his dad
for what's got to be

a surprise inspection.

We are so not ready for guests.

Nate's here?

I could really use a hug
and get his advice on Nora.

Did you forget who else
is on the ship?

Charlie.
You can't let him see her

until we have time
to explain why there's

an Amaya look-alike on board.

- Right.
- Last time I saw her,

she was in the lab.

Everyone,
keep Nate away from the lab.

I'm on my way.

Any tour of the ship
should start here.

This is where the Legends
have team meetings

and hold lively symposiums
of ideas and solutions,

all led by Captain Sara Lance.

And where is this Captain Lance?

Um...

um, it is a little quiet,

but I assure you
Captain Lance is securing

the Legends' next
daring mission.

Next up, the parlour,
which we spell with a U

because our first captain
was British.

So why does a ship

formerly manned
by a single person

now need...

Need a crew of six?

- I can explain.
- Hey, Ray.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Uh, he means five.
You mean five.

- I mean five.
- I mean five.

I must have been thinking
about Gideon

as a real person.

Are you trying to hurt
my feelings, Dr. Palmer?

- Oh, wow, Gideon.
- Hubba, hubba.

Love the new look.

Ms. Tomaz gave me,
in her words, a face-lift.

This is a talking computer?

Actually, I'm a
quantum-enhanced A.I. program,

capable of operating
completely autonomously.

So what you're saying is,

you don't need any people
on the ship.

Oh, no, no, no, no, we do.

Ray, why don't you show Hank
what you do in the...

Not the Lab.

Hello, sir.

Um, you should take him
to the library.

It's very impressive,
and there are... books.

- And bookshelves.
- Bookshelves.

See, Hank, it takes a village.

Follow me.

- God.
- It was a good save.

Now, the library is my domain.

I've assembled
quite a collection of...

Nate, it's good to see you,
mate.

You haven't seen
the laboratory yet, have you?

No, why?

Because you should always
save the best for last.

Yeah, you should really

put some clothes on
when we have guests.

So this is your domain.

Why don't we move on, huh?

Mr. Heywood, welcome aboard.

I see you've already had
the complete tour.

He hasn't seen the lab yet.

That's a great idea.

Wait till you see this.

Hey, so maybe your dad

would like to see the galley.

Or the cargo bay
with all the crates.

- Or... or the bathroom.
- It's a marvel of efficiency.

Look, you guys need
to pull it together, okay?

Look, I know my dad
sprung this on us,

but we have dealt
with crazier things...

Amaya?

So this is the ex-girlfriend
you can't shut up about?

- Look, I'm sorry.
- I should have told you...

She came back.

I knew she'd come back.

- No, you don't understand.
- It's not...

You look beautiful.

Get your stinking mitts
off of me, you knob.

Whoa.

We should just... We're gonna...

Yeah, just go. Go.

You've changed.

What the hell's going on?

And what's with that accent?

I mean, I dig it,
but what's going on?

Well, I'm not your
disco-loving ex, mate.

Meet the newest member
of our team, Charlie.

Charlie here is a shape-shifter.

Except she can no longer
shape-shift.

It's actually
a pretty crazy story.

Let me guess:
She turned into Amaya

and conned you
into not sending her to hell

and Constantine put
a spell on her

and now she's stuck like this?

That is...

- weirdly accurate, yeah.
- Yeah.

I guess it's not
such a crazy story.

It's insane, Ray!

I told my dad you guys
were good at your jobs,

and now you're adopting
some magical creature

who's pretending to be Amaya?

Hey, I'm not pretending
to be anyone.

That said,

Hank's already looking for ways
to slash our funding,

so maybe it's not the worst idea

to fake it for one mission.

You want me to pretend
to be this wanker's ex?

What...

Sounds like classic
Legends hijinks to me.

We can't let Hank know that
we're harboring a fugitive.

We just need to show him
one mission,

send him on his way
before anything can go wrong.

Okay, then maybe
it wasn't the best idea

to leave him with those three.

- We should go.
- Yeah.

All right, team, showtime.

- Drinking at work.
- Who said anything about work?

Hey, Legends, you hear that?

We got a hit
on the magic-o-meter.

Oh, where in history
are we gonna end up next?

- Where will it be?
- The Wild West,

medieval China, or...

Paris in the Roaring Twenties?

- Ooh, la, la.
- Gideon, plot a course.

Yes, Captain, right away.

So explain to me how this
magic-o-meter of yours works.

Oh, well...

Thingy goes beep,
and we kick ass.

Meaning we investigate
each time period.

- We find the creature.
- We bring it to the Bureau.

And hopefully learn some
life lessons along the way.

And it takes six of you
to do that?

- Seven if you count Amaya.
- Eight if you count me.

Sounds a little inefficient.

Which is why we separate
into two very important teams.

Zee, John, Ray, and Amaya

will stay on the ship
to quarterback

while the rest of us
go in search

of whatever is wreaking havoc
on gay Paree.

I thought that was, uh,
inpolitically correct.

Politically incorrect.

Hey, it's our first
mission together.

Don't worry, if anything
goes wrong in the field,

I got you covered.

Yeah, but...

I didn't get coldcocked
by a girl.

Have you ever been hit
by a girl, Hank?

No, ma'am.

Hmm.

We should head out.

Cafe du Dome, 1927,
home to the Lost Generation.

Writers, artists, ex-pats, they all...

All right, so where's this monster?

Yeah, who needs historical
context and wonderment?

I need a drink.

What he means is, we need
to blend in with the locals.

This is a recon mission.

I believe...

Oh, my God. It's him.

Salvador Dalí.

What, the creep
with the weird mustache?

Don't point.

He's the father of surrealism.

This is your plan?

To catch this creature,

you ask a bunch of artsy-fartsy fools...

Oh, my God. It's him.

It's Papa.

Papa? What,
your grandfather's here?

- No.
- Thought he blew up in space.

You are so insensitive.

Not that Papa.
Ernest Hemingway.

He's, like, my dad's
spirit animal.

I say if we want
to get things done,

we ask the original man
of action.

Your dad is
totally geeking out right now.

Mm-hmm, my entire life,

my father would go on and on
about Hemingway

and how that was his idea
of a real man.

And that is when I was attacked

by the monstrous man
of the Catacombs.

Well, it's time to talk
to some artsy-fartsy fools.

Pardon moi.

Uh, you said you saw
a monstrous man.

- Can you explain?
- Of course.

Um, there was a logarithmic
curve to his form,

the drama of his movement
expressing

deep personal cosmogony.

Can you draw me a picture?

Okay, let's try one more time.

My name is Amaya Jiwe

of the, uh...
The Justice Society of...

complete and utter
bloody rubbish, wouldn't it?

Yep, it sucks.

Now, just remember, the yanks,

they don't say "rubbish."
They'd say...

"That was absolute garbage.

"I'm American, soccer,
yardsticks, ranch dressing,

weasel."

- You know what?
- I quit. Yeah.

I'd rather get some fresh air

than pretend to be
this twee old nag.

- You can't quit.
- She can't quit.

Sara needs us to quarterback
the mission.

You don't really think that's
why she left us here, do you?

She just doesn't want us
making a scene

in front of Nate's dad.

"Efficiency" is the new
watchword, gents,

and while Hank is around,
the three of us...

- Four if you count Charlie.
- Five if you count me.

Are extraneous.

You know, mate, you could just

walk straight off this ship

and no one would even
bleeding notice.

Hmph, well, maybe I'll test
that theory.

Except I'm not walking.

I'm taking the jumpship.

The answer is no, Ray.

But you haven't even heard
my pitch yet.

You want access to
a secret containment facility

for magical creatures...
Where, I might add,

there are no conjugal visits.

Wait, what? You think
that I want to visit Nora

so that we can...

I just want to make sure
that she's okay.

Oh, that is so sweet.

I almost believe that story,

you big lovable teddy bear, you.

But the answer is still no.

With Nate's dad watching
our each and every move,

there is just no time...

for love at the Time Bureau.

There's always time for love.

- Were you eavesdropping?
- Maybe.

Or maybe I was meant
to hear your plight.

I'm sorry, who are you again?

Name's Mona, and I know where
they've got Nora locked up.

- You do.
- Mm-hmm.

And while I can't sneak you in,

I can help you sneak in
the next best thing.

A love letter.

The bull is not the enemy
of the bullfighter.

He is his partner.

They are dancers
locked in a dance of death.

Whichever dies, man or bull,

the dance is a thing of beauty.

Hey, we got to go.

I got a lead on that, um,
thing we're hunting.

- You're hunters?
- Stay out of this, Hemingway.

Perhaps you'd like to settle
our differences like men.

I don't have time
for this macho crap, man.

- Okay, you two with me.
- Roy, keep him busy.

Fine specimen of male vitality.

Fellow pugilist, no doubt.

Author.

Ah! My kind of man!

Join me.

Okay, Dalí saw
the monster firsthand

when it attacked him
in the Catacombs,

and he drew me this.

Um, wait.

What the hell am I looking at?

No, no, no, here.

Yeah, I still don't see it.

All right,
ignore the melting clocks.

We got to get this back
to the ship,

and I have to find a match
to Dalí's drawing

somewhere in the library.

We're supposed
to protect history

from the library, Nathaniel?

Okay, I see that you're
really into drinking

the Hemingway Kool-Aid,
and by Kool-Aid,

I mean scotch, but we are here

to catch a monster.

Of course,

but I know we sure as hell
aren't gonna

find out what it is by studying
some finger paintings.

We gotta go back to the ship
to figure out what we're doing.

That's the way we do things,
right?

Yes, when the mission isn't
also showing Hank a good time.

I'm sorry.

You know, I thought
this would be good

for the both of us, but...

Hank is at his happiest

when he's telling me
what I'm doing wrong,

so...

Mission accomplished.

Aw, cheer up, bud.

You are right, so Rory and I,

we will keep an eye on Hank,

let him have a few laughs
with Hemingway

while you go figure out
what this thing is.

We bag the creature,
we keep our jobs.

Okay.

Whoa, where are you all going?

Henry here told me of a creature

hiding in the Catacombs.

Oh, did you, Henry?

- Therefore we hunt.
- Let's go get our monster.

Nate's right. We have no idea
what this thing is.

A man hunts not to learn
about his prey

but to learn about himself.

We need to regroup with
the team and get some backup.

What better backup
than Hemingway?

I'm finally starting
to understand

what it is the Legends do.

Marcel, fetch me my rifles.

Right away, sir.

I need a Marcel.

Yeah, just a little
drunk hunting with Hemingway.

What could go wrong?

Have you ever held a gun before?

Once or twice.

Your friend is much woman.

Have my own.

Signature weapon, I like it.

The drunk painter was right.

The creature is hiding
in the Catacombs.

- And it's getting closer.
- We need a plan.

We have no idea
what this thing is

and if it can even be stopped
with bullets.

I've found that in life,
the shortest answer

is doing the thing.

Let's do this thing.

I knew you couldn't resist.

Did you get to the end,
where the correctional officer

convinces the judge to send her
to prison so he can go free?

Well, I have now.

Sorry, didn't mean to ruin it.

But I brought you
an even better one.

The hell is this?

It's a letter

from your crush.

Ray left it behind for you.

Don't you see?

Yours is a love
no bars can contain.

No, I-I don't want it.

But don't you want
to at least open it?

No.

What if you change your mind

or your heart?

Not gonna change my...

Take the damn letter.

Look what you made me do.

Uh-oh.

Sorry.

Uh, I swear it's one
of these buttons.

What the hell?

Are you okay?

Did she attack you?

- It's fine.
- Just... just a misunderstanding.

The hell is this?

Where'd you get this?

Did Mona deliver this to you?

Okay, since neither of you
have anything to say,

I'll let the letter
speak for itself.

No!

Requesting emergency assistance!

I-I didn't... didn't mean to...

We're stuck.

Well, at least we're all here
together, right?

Now I know why you took
my shoelaces.

Uh, pardon.

Mm-mm.

Américain.

Lost?

- No, I'm good.
- Oh.

'Cause you're heading
in the wrong direction.

The Waverider's over there.

I don't need directions
from you.

Listen, sunshine.

I don't know what beef
you had with your ex,

but don't bring it on me.

Zelda, dear, I do believe

they're giving us
a run for our money.

You're the Fitzgeralds.

And we pride ourselves

the most quarrelsome couple
in Paris.

- Don't worry.
- We're not a couple.

Well, the night is still young.

You should join us for a drink.

Besides, no one should be out
on the streets alone tonight.

There is a monster on the loose.

- You heard about the monster.
- Come with me.

What conversation isn't better
had over a gin rickey?

Do you hear that?

Dalí's the only one
who's seen the beast.

Take it for what it's worth.

Well, I spoke with him myself,

and according to Dalí,
this is what it looks like.

I can never make heads
or tails of Salvador's work.

That's a Minotaur.

A beast... half man, half bull,

spent its whole life
lost in a maze?

Ah, now, that's the common myth,

but I heard a different story.

The Minotaur, he's not lost.

He's hiding.

Rejected by his father,

he felt that he had no place
in the real world,

and so he chose
to stay in the maze.

If Dalí thinks he's seen
one of these,

I want what he's drinking.

Where you going?

I am going to figure out

a way to catch a Minotaur

and show my father

what a real man of action
looks like.

There it is, awaiting the fight.

I got this!
Mine's longer.

- Fall back!
- Wait, I've got the shot.

Aah!

We have to go now!

I'll never surrender.

But I will strategically retreat.

Get back!

- Gideon, Hank's hurt.
- Show him what you can do.

Right away, Captain.

Dad, are you okay?

Please don't blame the Legends.

I should have been there.

Because then you would have seen
me lock eyes with the beast,

and it was in that moment
that I felt a deep and mutual respect.

- Wow, someone'e been bonding with Papa.
- Yeah.

Respect that gave way to resolve
as the beast drew its blade.

The dance had begun.

- Okay, Gideon.
- Initiating scan.

So CliffsNotes:
Big ax, bigger monster,

knows we're on it.

We need a plan B quick.

- Okay.
- Dad, you heal up.

- We've got this.
- No, like hell.

I owe it to him
to finish this... fight.

Sedative administered.

And you thought a Minotaur
was bullheaded?

Ooh, mythology burn.

It's good to have you back.

There has to be
a way out of here.

Well, it's a prison cell.

Or an incubator for
our burgeoning friendship.

Isn't breaking out of prison
your thing?

Only reason I escaped
last time was

because Ray gave me
a Time Stone.

Tell me everything,

because I am big-time shipping
you two.

No shipping the inmates.

It's the reason we're stuck
in here in the first place.

I know that getting
your boss locked in a prison

isn't the best way
to start a job,

so if it comes to it,
I'd like you to eat me first.

No one's eating anyone, Mona,

but when we get out of here,
we do have to talk about

your continued employment
at the Bureau.

Wait, no, no, no,
you can't fire me.

Give me one good reason why.

Okay. Okay.

I was gonna save this
for upstairs,

but...

surprise!

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to... ♪

This isn't making things better, is it?

- No, it's fantastic.
- Keep going.

So that's it?

I finally find a job
where I can use my skills...

Debatable.

And I blow it in the first week.

Guess I'm stuck doing
my fallback plan,

going back to law school.

At least Yale wants me.

Wait, wait, that's
the fallback plan?

Law school?
What are you even doing here?

This is my dream job.

It's my mom who wants me
to be a lawyer.

No, you can't give in
to what your parents want.

That's what I did,
and look how that ended.

Okay,
you're not gonna take

life advice from Nora Dark,
right?

That's rich. You should
listen to your parents.

Think about your future.

- Oh, easy for you to say.
- At least you had a future.

When I was a kid,
my dad convinced me

to be a demon vessel.

You think it was easy for me?

At least you got to be a kid.

Try being a clone from 2213,
okay?

The only taste of childhood
I've ever had

was almost being killed
by a Shtriga at summer camp.

Wow, okay, I need to hear

your entire life stories
right now.

No.

We might as well
get to know each other

if we're stuck here.

Or... at least have a drink?

Where did you...

We need to bag ourselves
a Minotaur

before your dad
gets himself killed.

Ugh, what is that smell?

Did you guys get a team dog
without me?

Because that was my idea.

Bet you guys are having

post-mission pizza parties
now too.

This is the artificial musk
of a female Minotaur.

See, Minotaurs have
a very sharp sense of smell

when it comes to tracking prey,

but with this little bad boy,

I can lure it in by convincing
it that I'm a potential mate.

Then what?

You two gonna ride off together,

get a nice little flat in Soho?

It's good, but we still need
a way to tame it

and get it to the Bureau.

- Taming the beast.
- Taming the beast.

I read about this.
I read about this.

Um, let's see, "The Magical
Treatise of Solomon."

Here we go.

"To ease the Minotaur's rage,

"his mother would
play him a lullaby

on a lute built by Daedalus."

That's it.

We'll lure it out
and lull it to sleep.

No one gets hurt,
not even the Minotaur.

And then we'll have
a pizza party.

And that's when I found out

I was from the future.

- Whoa, the future.
- Yep.

It was all fake:

My parents, my memories,

growing up in Fresno.

Still better than
spending your childhood

with The Order
of the Shrouded Compass.

- Wh...
- Is that like

the Sisterhood
of Traveling Pants?

- Even worse.
- Death cult.

And before that,
I just moved around

from one mental institution
to the next.

Point is, you're lucky.

I'm lucky?

I just wish my past was made up.

What, so you can wake up one day

and realize that you don't
have any family, friends,

or life experiences
to hold on to?

Doesn't sound that different

from waking up in a prison cell.

Touché.

Are you two kidding me
right now?

Ava, you're a clone
from the future,

and you run
the Time Travel Bureau.

And you're a witch.

And you escaped a cult

and a real-life demon.

I did.

You two are, like,
the two coolest women

I have ever met,

and I once met Gillian Anderson

at an "X-Files" meet and greet.

- Wow.
- Mona, you are a gem.

You know, we can't have
a birthday

without birthday cake.

Yeah!

Back on your feet already, Hank.

Yeah, your gal
patched me up good.

I'm just running
through our strategy.

Oh, wait, you let him use
our "D&D" miniatures?

No, I didn't let him
touch Cyndra,

Lord of the Dark Elves.

You guys "D&D" without me too?

Son, why are you holding
a tiny guitar,

or do I even want to know?

Oh, this... this is a lute.

Someone say loot?

This is what we're gonna use
to put the Minotaur to sleep.

I thought you said
that was loot.

I don't understand.

Well, I suppose
it is more of a lyre.

Everyone's a liar.

This is how we're gonna catch
our creature, Dad.

- That's your plan?
- Yeah.

We're facing a literal monster.

You think you can destroy it
with a lute?

Well, in the hands of a master,

a lute is a formidable weapon.
Just look at Sting, mate.

Sorry to interrupt,
but there's a change

in the timeline.

An attack at Cafe du Dome
is imminent.

There will be no survivors.

The Minotaur must be
tracking Hemingway's scent.

Let's move out.

Nathaniel, get out of my way.

I don't have to do
what you say anymore, Hank.

- Really?
- Because as your superior,

I'm telling you to stand down.

You're going for
the superior thing again?

You know, you don't want to
listen to me or understand me.

You just... you just
want to be better than me.

Well, you're one to talk
about listening.

You've ignored every lesson
I've ever tried to teach you.

Because it's the same lesson
over and over again.

You want me to be
more like you, Hank.

But guess what.
I'm not like you.

I don't like televised golf
or Tom Clancy books

or '70s folk rock.

I don't know if you happened
to notice,

but I'm a grown-ass superhero...

who's just trying to play
the lute for a Minotaur.

Fine, don't want to listen
to your old man?

Maybe you'll listen
to your captain.

I'm sorry, but I'm with Nate.

I know his idea sounds crazy,
but he's right.

That's what makes him a Legend,

no matter where he is.

Look, you said you wanted
to see a Legends mission.

Well, you're about to,

and if it goes wrong, well,

you go ahead and fire all of us.

The beast advanced.

I turned on him, gun raised.

Seeing we'd reached
an agreement,

- I fired!
- Oh!

So I don't think we'll be seeing

that creature anytime soon.

And what is that?

Back for another go, are you?

Oi, fuzz ball, come on.

Have a nice little whiff
of this, will you?

All right, that's your cue.

Okay.

I haven't had much time
to rehearse, but...

Now we end this.

No!

I warn you,
I will strike a woman.

That's for being on my summer
eighth grade reading list.

Uh, guys?

Nathaniel!

Always preferred Faulkner.

So not a bad birthday, huh?

Considering my original plan

was a "House Hunters" marathon...

That actually sounds pretty great.

You know what?

- You should have this.
- Mm.

You know you want to read it.

Look,

I learned from being
locked up that

the only way to survive
is to shut down.

If you don't have a future,

it's best not to look forward.

Not to meals or birthdays

or relationships.

Just because this is your present

doesn't mean it has to be your future.

Who knows?
Maybe someday you can

get out of here
without having to escape.

Yeah, and aren't you glad
you didn't shut down today?

Well, this cake is pretty good.

- Come on. Come on.
- Who doesn't want to see

a Ray Palmer love letter?

You have to open it.
There's probably glitter in it.

I really should...

- Open it.
- Come on.

Open it. Open it.

You know what?

Oh, hi there.

- Ray?
- Yeah, hi.

Uh, could I get some help?
I'm a little stuck.

- Get behind the bar!
- Good idea.

I meant for cover.

Well, I like your version.

Oh!

See, it looks just as I drew it.

You leave that weirdo alone!

Your fight is with me!

Toro!

Come on.

Now the dance begins.

I needed to make sure
she was okay.

I wanted to make sure
you were okay.

Actually, I just really wanted
to see her... you.

And then I thought I'd deliver
the message myself,

but then I got stuck
in the glue.

That was sweet.

Stupid but sweet.

No, it's unacceptable

but, in this case,
clearly convenient.

So since you are so good at
getting people out of prison,

let's get the hell out of here,
shall we?

Oh. Yeah.

Let's just hope the team
wasn't missing their QB.

That's my boy!

Over here!

What is happening?

James Taylor, and it's good.

You got this, Dad.

Now, that is how you finish
a Legends mission.

You did good, son.

Right back at you, Dad.

I learned it from you,
Nathaniel.

- Hola, Chupi!
- Hola!

- Privet, Baba Yaga.
- Privet.

What's up, Nora?

Thought you were headed to Yale.

After last night, I marched home

and told my parents
I didn't want to be a lawyer.

And also that
I was craving nachos

and wanted to do karaoke.

The rosé had really kicked in
at that point.

Oh, and here,
my mom's homemade congee.

Great hangover cure.

Hey, can you do me a favor?

I wrote...

I wrote Ray a letter.
Uh...

Gah! It'd be an honor
to deliver it.

Yeah, anything for my
generation's Ross and Rachel.

Uh, morning, Director Sharpe.

A word, Mona.

What?

Wait, are you firing me
this time?

No, Mona.

After yesterday, I realized...

there is some room for a little
humanity in this place.

Aloha, Kaupe.

Permission to scratch his tummy?

Permission granted.

And you should deliver
that letter.

Well, that was a chaotic,

reckless, wasteful mess.

I think I finally see
the value in the Legends.

Yeah, you could have led
with that last part.

We're glad to have you on board.

Well, this has been fun,

but it's time for me
to get back.

- Yeah, you know what?
- Um, I'll...

Um, I'll meet you
back there, Dad.

He's right.
This was fun.

It's good to be back.

Well, the door is always open.

You know, coming back here,

I thought it'd be like
the old days,

but I don't know
what's more surprising,

the fact that so much
has changed

or at some point,
this became the old days.

You'd think we of all people
would understand

that time makes no sense.

Yeah.

But I guess it's something
you never accept.

You know I love you guys, right?

But, uh...
I belong over there.

I get it.

I'm proud of you.

So go on.
Go do your adult thing,

and we'll see you around.

Okay.

Though if you're not
in a rush...

It's a pizza party.

Yeah, here he is.

- Hey!
- Welcome back, ugly.

Yes, what other bright ideas
are you gonna leave us with

before you bugger off?

Softball team.

Oh, no, only electronic sports.

Piñata Fridays.

How many times do I have
to say no to that?

Unionizing.

Ooh, don't let Hank
hear you say that.

You know, it's still weird
not having you around.

Mm-hmm.

Aw, man, I'll always be
right there, big guy,

- in that giant heart of yours.
- Aw.

And I'll be at the Bureau,

so you guys can literally
stop by whenever you want.

Mm.

But, you know, before I go,

I do want to say one thing.

When I first stepped
onto this ship,

I was, you know,
trying to get away from

all my baggage back home,

and I can't believe
I'm gonna say this,

Hemingway once wrote,

"Can't get away from yourself

by moving from
one place to another."

- Mm.
- And thanks to you guys,

I don't have to run anymore.

Being here with you all
has turned me

into the man I need to be,

and, uh, this place is special.

And you never know
when it's gonna be over.

So I say, Legends,

enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Hear, hear.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Cheers, cheers, cheers.

Uh, you'll find your place here.

I know I did.