Legends of Tomorrow (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Aruba-Con - full transcript

Last season on "Legends of Tomorrow"...

I'm no longer the captain. You are.

Permission to depart, Captain Lance.

I know that I'm supposed
to go back to 1942.

I have to believe that
time is stronger than that.

It's a timequake.

The result of us
interacting with ourselves.

And whose bright idea
was it to do the one thing

that could jeopardize all of time?

Yours.

Guys.



I think we broke time.

I guess this means
we're not going to Aruba.

You said you broke time.

No, I said we broke time.

Yep, but it was your idea.

No, my idea was to save
reality and save Amaya.

By violating the first
rule of time travel:

never visit the same
time and place twice,

thereby breaking time.

Perhaps we should continue this argument

somewhere there aren't dinosaurs.

Whoa. Big Ben.

So what?

Guys.



I always wanted to visit it.

Guys!

Amaya, talk to it.

- She can talk dinosaur?
- Like you wouldn't believe.

Please speed up that conversation...

Y'all just saw that, right?

And that.

Well, you really have

buggered everything up this time.

Her idea.

No matter. As you can see,

my agents are already hard at work

dealing with these Anachronisms.

Anachronisms?

People, places, and things

displaced from their
native time periods.

I told you I was leaving to create

an organization to
replace the Time Masters.

- 15 minutes ago.
- For you.

Forming the Time
Bureau has been the work

of the last five years of my life.

I've gotten quite good
at it, I'd have to say.

You mean you have Time Agents at work

in the Cretaceous Period as we speak?

Indeed, and throughout
Los Angeles, making sure

no one retains any memory of this...

unfortunate incident.

Which is why your services
are no longer required.

Whoa. What?

It seems only fitting,
since I was the one

who brought this team together

that I should be the one to disband it.

So...

On behalf of the Time Bureau,

I hereby relieve the Legends from duty.

_

This isn't auditions

for "American Ninja Warrior," you know.

And how many times have I told you

not to play with the merchandise?

Oh, I know that look.

It's the look of someone who thinks

they could have gotten a better job.

Well, let me tell you
something, freckles,

you're lucky I even hired someone

who had been reported dead... twice.

Especially in this economy.

What?

No thank you?

Thank you.

That's better.

Now get over to Health and Beauty.

Somebody just spilled a
whole mess of conditioner.

_

Whoo.

Alan...

Alan, um, I've had a breakthrough.

I have told you not to interrupt me

- when I'm plugged in.
- Yes. No, I know

that's very important to you, but, um,

Alan, I've been working
on this side project.

Not only have I managed
to shrink organic matter,

but I've also streamlined the
technology so that you can wear...

I'm not interested, brah.

Look, I-I get it. Once upon a time,

you were "Ray Palmer, tech mogul."

But when you give
your company to a woman

who runs it into the ground,

you lose all side-project privileges.

Great news for you, though,

what we're doing here at Upswipz

is trying to change the world.

Upswipz is a dating app.

Just like Tinder, except you

swipe up-down instead of left-right.

Which is far more intuitive.

And Upswipz isn't a dating app.

It's a holistic social networking...

Social networking platform.

Ah, but, Alan,

my miniaturization technology

has the potential to actually

make the world a better place.

If that were true,

it'd be an app.

If it doesn't live in a phone,

it's not the future, Ray.

Well, I've actually been to the future.

Like, three times.

_

Damn it, Wally.

What did I say?

Ah, I was supposed to save

some of the bad guys for you.

Just a few.

You know what? I'll make it up to you.

The first round is on me.

No. Thanks, man, we're good.

I actually have a girl waiting for me.

Next time.

Hey.

Sorry I'm late.

There was a...

Kind of a work thing.

- It's okay.
- Um...

I know a really great coffee place...

Um... Alana.

_

- Hey, girl.
- Hi.

Hey, idiot.

Either refill my margarita,

or get out of my light.

This is a private beach.

Listen, pal, what did I...

And who the hell are you supposed to be?

I am Gaius Julius Caesar of Rome.

Oh.

Thought I recognized you.

I knocked off one of your casinos

in Vegas.

I am here to conquer
all the known world.

Right.

Wait a sec.

How did you get here?

I imagine through the mischief

of the goddess Ate.

But it matters not the
land I find myself in.

It is but a matter of time
before my banner flies over it.

Is that a fact?

Yeah?

Boss.

- Rory?
- I got a situation.

I think I bumped into one of those

mechanisms...

Mechanism?

A nagging-ism.

Anachronism?

Yes.

Julius Caesar...

is in Aruba.

- Seriously?
- Seriously.

I got him tied up in my casita.

What do you want me to do?

Just sit tight and keep him safe.

If you screw up history, the
Bureau will be on your ass

before you can say...

Son of a bitch.

Are you taking a personal call

during peak consumer traffic?

No.

'Cause I quit.

_

All right.

What's so important to
make you catch a train

to Central City?

Where's Amaya?

We kind of broke up.

- What?
- It's not a big deal.

So what's going on?

Rory found an Anachronism.

Apparently, Julius Caesar
just wound up in Aruba.

Mick's got him all tied up.

Look, this is our chance

to get the Time Bureau
to deal us back in.

Look, if we pull this off,

Rip might give us our old ship back.

Wow, I had no idea

you were so unhappy with your new life.

Are you kidding me?

I'm, uh... I'm... I'm loving it.

I'm doing really good work.

It says you work at Sink Shower & Stuff.

Yeah, well...

even vigilantes have to pay their bills.

What are you guys so content with, huh?

What are you doing?

I'm doing pretty good.
Thanks for asking.

I am...

The second most popular superhero

in Central City.

So that's... pretty good.

Well, I am the first most
popular in Silicon Valley,

when I'm not changing
the world with a...

Holistic social networking platform.

Let's go.

- Mm-hmm.
- Thank God.

You sure this is where they're at?

I bumped into one of Rip's
Time Agents a while back.

He may have left his badge at my place.

He left it at your place?

All right, maybe I lifted it off of him

in the morning.

- Freeze!
- Hands in the air!

Eyes on, eyes on!

Hey, don't move!

Stay right there!

Hello, everyone.

Welcome.

On the floor. Hands behind your heads.

Uh, sorry, there must
be some kind of mistake.

We're the... we're the...

Legends! Oh!

Oh, we know exactly who you losers are.

Wow, this floor is, like, super clean.

Lady, why are you so mean?

Maybe it's that poly-blend pantsuit

that's got her so grumpy.

I didn't know Men's Wearhouse
gave group discounts.

What's wrong with you people?
Do you want to get shot?

Totally rather get shot
than look like a Sears model.

Hold your fire!

Stand down! All of you.

Excuse me.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Hello. So good to see you all.

Next time, just call ahead.

You son of a bitch.

Eyes on, eyes on!

There's been a slight misunderstanding,

Dr. Heywood.

Nate, what are you doing?

I want to hear Rip say it.

You told Amaya to go back to 1942.

Amaya went back to 1942?

It was her idea.

She wanted to go back home to Zambesi.

What'd you say?

It was Amaya's idea
to go back to Zambesi.

No, I heard him, Ray.

I was just being rhetorical.

All right. This is just awkward.

So...

what brings the rest of
you to the Time Bureau?

We found an Anachronism.

I wasn't aware any of you

were searching for Anachronisms.

We weren't.

Rory was on a bender

when Julius Caesar showed up.

Agent Sharp, have we seen

any activity that would match

such a massive historical displacement?

Absolutely not, sir.

Well, I guess you must
have missed one then.

I find that very hard to
believe, and you know what...

Ready a go-team...

and we will meet you at the Op-Center.

Sir.

In the meantime...

Who fancies a tour?

Guess they're, uh,

not used to seeing famous people.

Yeah, kind of like we're
the Founding Fathers

of the Time Bureau.

In a way.

I suppose if you lot hadn't created

the greatest time paradox
the world had ever known,

all of these people
would have nothing to do.

Unhand me, you knave!

Is that...?

Oh, yeah. King Arthur.

His displacement into
the Spanish Civil War

caused quite the Anachronism.

Ah, evil sorcerer!

I might have known you were
responsible for all of this.

Now when he's returned
to his original time,

he will have no memory
of his displacement.

All humility aside,

we are the most important
security organization...

That no one's ever heard of.

Who somehow missed the
fact that Julius Caesar

is down in Aruba working on his tan.

I'm sure our detection system

would have picked up
on his displacement.

Hm.

Yeah, and we get that,

but all we're saying is,
if you wanted to give us

the old Waverider
back, we would be happy

to go down there and
take care of it for you.

Yeah, you know, for...
For old time's sake?

I'm sorry, but our old ship
has been put to new use.

You turned our ship into a simulator?

The Command Module is heading
toward a meteoroid belt.

Apollo 13 astronauts will
die unless we do something.

Aw, that's cool, man.

They're teaching one
of our old missions.

I've got an idea.

Why don't we swing around

and use our ship as a shield?

- Boom.
- Kidding.

I'm not a total idiot.

Target the Command Module's
oxygen tank with our photons,

and fire.

- Yes!
- The ruptured tank

propelled their capsule
out of harm's way, Captain.

Well done, class.

See you all tomorrow.

We'll see how you do

trying to stop an atomic torpedo

from blowing up New York City.

What are they doing here?

We are here to help you.

That's very gracious of you.

But whatever it is,
we have professionals

who can handle the matter.

Along with whatever
damage Mr. Rory causes.

Your salad sucks.

You should know this
is not the first time

I've been taken captive.

Oh, great, a story.

Once, when I was a young man,

I was kidnapped by pirates.

They ransomed me for
50 talents of silver,

a fortune.

My family paid the money, of course.

But I told my captors

they would be better off killing me.

Because if they did let me go,

I promised to come back one day,

and not only to take my silver,

but to crucify the pirates one by one.

And that's exactly what I did.

You saying I should kill you?

You should believe me
when I make a promise.

The gold in this satchel...

is yours.

Gold?

But I swear by my household gods,

it will cost you your life.

Oh.

Do we have a location on Mr. Rory?

Mm, we followed a trail
of petty larceny reports.

He's been holed up on the beach,

running up a room service tab

and a serious collection of STDs.

- That's our Mick.
- He's been busy.

Locking in on coordinates now.

Is the go-team ready?

Locked and loaded, sir.

Opening a portal.

You broke my nose.

Out of my way!

- Our team is under attack.
- Definitely Rory.

Alpha team, do you have eyes on Caesar?

He's got the target.

What do you want us to do, Command?

Get the hell out of there

before Mr. Rory causes any more mayhem.

Roger that. Initiating extraction.

Get off me, you damn missionaries!

Get the hell off me, dude.

This is Julius Caesar?

Dude, my dad's a lawyer.

I'm going to totally
sue all of your asses.

What is this place?

An institution you will never

step foot in again, Mr. Rory.

Get them out of here!

Rip, look. I'm sorry.

- I thought that this...
- The Legends would change?

Since when do we need to change?

When you left our team, you said

you had nothing left to teach me.

Yes, well, unfortunately all of history

suddenly came unglued

moments after I'd uttered those words.

Look, I miss the good old days too, Sara.

But times have changed.

Yeah, and you don't
think you need us anymore.

Look, Rip.

This is our mess. You
have to let us fix it.

Using your team to fix anything...

is like doing brain
surgery with a chainsaw.

Whoa. You can't leave yet.

Not without parking validation.

Son of a bitch stole my money.

Whoa.

This is a genuine Roman aureus.

This is first century B.C.

That means Rory really
saw Julius Caesar.

Duh.

We've got to tell Rip that
he's got the wrong guy.

Yeah, like he'll listen to us.

He's right.

We've got to grab Caesar ourselves.

And prove to Rip that
we got the right stuff.

Sara.

Exit's this way.

Our ship's this way.

We're gonna steal the Waverider?

We're gonna fix our mistakes.

Oh, damn it! I mean, darn it.

There's a class in session.

Ah.

Listen up, punks.

Class dismissed. Get out of here.

This must be a part of
the training exercise.

Our ship has been
boarded by a Time Pirate.

On behalf of The Time
Bureau, and in accordance

to Article 15.6, Section B,

concerning the unlawful
seizure of Time Ships...

Anyone else?

Gideon's been in sleep
mode for five years,

but if I can divert her
power back to the core...

Hello, Legends. What did I miss?

Well, we're about to steal the ship,

go grab Julius Caesar in Aruba,

all before history completely collapses.

So it's business as usual, then.

Exactly.

Gideon, engines to power.

Turbines to speed.

Right away, Captain.

Sounds like this old
boat needs a lube job.

What in the hell do
they think they're doing?

The hangar's sealed.
There's no way out of here.

Yep, well, I'm afraid the Legends

have never permitted
something like logic

to stop them.

I hope you know what
you're doing, Ms. Lance.

Gideon, time-jump us out of here.

Uh, are you sure we can
time-jump inside the building?

We're about to find out.

Gideon, when are we?

I was only able to time-jump us

three minutes into the future.

We're still in Star City.

If you haven't noticed,

the ship is in desperate
need of maintenance.

Yeah, there's no way we're
gonna make it to Aruba.

Can we make it to Central City?

I know a good mechanic there.

Jefferson. What a...
what a nice surprise.

Lily also dropped by with
some rather exciting news.

Oh, well, if it's a bad
time, I can always just...

Wait, wait. What is it?

Something's wrong. I can feel it.

We may only see each other

once a week for our bonding sessions,

but we still share a psychic connection.

I dropped out of school.

Why would you do that?

You could have your
master's in... in two years.

Yeah, I know, it's just...

Learning about engineering

is not half as fun
as actually, you know,

being an engineer...

on a time ship.

Oh, hey, Jax.

Whoa. Whoa, Lily, you're...

You're...

What?

I'm what?

Uh, you... you look... You look healthy.

I'm kidding. I'm pregnant.

Oh, my God.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Yeah, I was on sabbatical in
Rome with my boyfriend and...

She means her future husband.

And we decided we wanted to come home

and break the big news in person.

Oh, I've got to put the
osso buco in the oven,

but you should totally
stay for dinner...

Right, daddy?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Dude. What?

My heart still melts
when she says that word.

It's crazy. It's...

Oh, my God.

Is that what I think it is?

Come on, Grey.

A chance to meet Julius
Caesar and fix history.

Look, we have a time ship.

We can get you home in time for dessert.

That's what I told Clarissa
the last time I left.

And when you came home you
had a surprise daughter.

- Mm?
- Your point?

The point is, sometimes...

we screw things up for the better.

That's a good motto.

We should use that.

Fine, whatever.

I'll... I'll come. Great.

Now all we need is Amaya,

and we can get the band back together.

- That's not happening.
- Whoa, did I miss something?

- Mm-mm.
- Amaya dumped him.

Went back to 1942.

She didn't dump me.

She didn't dump me.

Amaya went back to Zambesi
because Rip told her

she has some sort of destiny to fulfill

back in 1942. That's it.

Unlike the rest of us

who don't have crap

waiting for us in the real world.

Speak for yourself, numbnuts.

I don't know about you
all, but I was destined

for greater things than folding towels.

And Rip thinks he doesn't need us

because he's got the Time Bureau.

Ray's right.

We're the ones who broke history.

We should be the ones that fix it.

But instead of operating
on history with a chainsaw,

this time we are gonna be the scalpel.

Is this your idea of subtle?

Just try to blend in, okay?

No problem.

Great Caesar's ghost.

That's him.

So what I have to say to you is this:

are you willing to fight with me?

Yeah!

And claim this savage land for Rome?

Yeah!

What, did you teach Caesar English?

Nope. Just showed up speaking fancy.

Temporal linguistic dysplasia...

- What?
- A side effect

of historical displacement.

Astonishing!

You know, cowards die

many times before their deaths.

The valiant never taste death but once!

Yeah! And Delta Nu Phi sucks!

Delta Nu Phi sucks!

Alpha Psi Gamma sucks!

Delta Nu Phi sucks!

Can we not agree they all suck?

A'ight.

Let's shut this toga party down

before things really get out of hand.

No powers.

It can make the Anachronism worse.

Right, be the scalpel.

Because I saw in you...

I've got an idea.

The makings of a legion.

Come on, man, are you
really trying to hook up now?

No, I'm creating a dating profile

on our new UpSwipz app.

Gideon, I need you to hit

every phone on the beach with a match.

"Exotic beauty looking for

casual sex with young frat stud?"

- That might work.
- Yeah.

Now all I need is a profile picture.

I believe I've got that covered.

Ooh.

Not bad.

For Mars!

- Yeah!
- For Rome!

Yeah!

Death... or glory!

All right, JC. Party's over.

You're coming with us.

I'd rather fall on my sword

than surrender it to a woman.

Well, then today is your lucky day.

Uh, shouldn't we help her?

It's him I'm worried about.

Ooh.

Yep, I'd say our work here is done.

And to quote the great
conqueror himself,

"We came, we saw..."

We kicked Caesar's ass!

- Mm.
- Mm.

- Oh, man.
- Oh.

- Suckers.
- Nice work.

I'd have done it faster.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did that hurt?

Easy, Mick.

He broke my nose.

My best feature.

Still... we have to get him
back to his time in one piece.

Or he doesn't go on to conquer the world

and help create the greatest empire

history has ever known.

We need to get moving.

It's not gonna take Rip long

to track down a stolen time ship.

Quite so, Ms. Lance.

It appears that you've captured

the real Julius Caesar. Well done.

Now, if you'll just return him to us,

we'll be happy to handle his
reinsertion back into history.

You don't think we can handle it?

It's not that.

Maybe it is that.

But the fact remains

that you have hijacked our property.

And if you would return it to us

along with our anachronistic guest,

all will be forgiven.

I trust you'll use your best judgment.

Does he not know this team?

Shouldn't we entrust Caesar's return

to people who do that sort
of thing professionally?

I thought this was our chance to prove

that we were professional... ish.

Your call, Captain.

Gideon,

plot a course for the Time Bureau.

I'm afraid that won't be possible

without additional repairs.

Of course.

Et tu, Sara?

I'm using my best judgment.

You know, I've taken these engines apart

so many times, feels like
this ship is a part of me.

It is a part of you that you can take on

whatever adventure life offers you next.

What adventure could
be better than this one?

I mean, I got to be a superhero
who traveled through time,

changing history.

Yes, I know.

Look, I know you want to
do the whole granddad thing.

Smoke a pipe by the fire, but...

I got a whole lot of life left,

and I have no idea how to fill it.

Jefferson, you are, hands down,

the most gifted, capable,

Jeffersodriven young
man handsl've ever known.

You can do anything you want to do.

Well, that's all well and good,

but what I want to do is be half

of a nuclear-powered superhero.

And I can't do that
if you don't want to.

Have you come to gloat?

Or to grant me the mercy
of taking my own life?

Getting beaten by a woman
bothers you that much?

Yes.

If your intention is
neither boasting nor mercy,

to what do I owe the
honor of this visit?

You doubt your present course of action

and seem to believe that Caesar

holds the key to resolving it.

There's nothing to resolve.

My course of action isn't up to me.

So you believe your
future lies in the hands

of the Three Fates?

No.

It lies in the hands of a group

called the Time Bureau.

And if I go against them
now, they'll take my ship.

And if I screw this up,

then I lose everything.

And that's all you're willing
to wager for greatness?

Pompey said he would have my head

for going against the Senate...

but when I lead my
army across the Rubicon,

Rome will welcome me as a god.

Well, I wish I shared your confidence.

It cost me eight years
and countless centurions

to conquer Gaul.

But with an Amazonian
queen like you by my side,

I could make short work
of the rest of the world.

Conquering the world does sound nice...

But I don't need you to do it.

Ship's fixed, Cap.

Fixed enough to get us
back to the Time Bureau?

Mm-hmm.

How about ancient Rome?

Only one way to find out.

_

According to Gideon, Caesar disappeared

the night before his
famous march on Rome.

Yeah, no crossing the
Rubicon means no civil war.

No civil war means no Ides of March.

No Ides of March means...

No Roman Empire.

What happens on the Ides of March?

Eh... well, that's when your friends,

who really aren't your friends,

stab you in the back to
stop your rise to power.

Not that you'll remember any of this.

Check it out. History is back to normal.

And now a little something
for the Heywood scrapbook.

Oh, man. That's a keeper.

Enjoy conquering the world.

Perhaps my eyes deceive me,

but that does not look
like the Time Bureau to me.

No, it says here we landed in 49 B.C.

Relax, because we just dropped off JC

back where he belongs.

So, history has been restored,

and we can go home.

I'm afraid that's not possible.

Why? Something wrong with the ship?

No, but your home no longer exists.

Here is a map of what was formally known

as the United States, circa 2017.

I thought you said that
history has been restored.

Does that look restored to you?

What does "Magna Hesperia" mean?

It means Caesar went on
to conquer the known world

and then the unknown world.

One of you fools must have entrusted him

with future knowledge,
something that allowed him

to alter the course of history.

No, no. I mean, Sara hit him

with Rip's flashy...

- Flashy thing.
- Thing.

Oh, my God.

What?

My book.

What book?

Change of plans.

We're not marching on Rome, sir?

No, we're still marching.

But when we get there,
we're going to visit

a few old friends...

starting with Brutus

and Cassius.

I cannot believe you let Caesar

steal the answers to the test.

Why are you all looking
at me? It's not my fault.

How did mop-head even
know there would be a test?

It's a figure of speech.

Caesar knew how to alter history

because he already knew
how it would unfold.

Okay, so all we got to
do is get back out there

and refold history.

Or contact Mr. Hunter,

and let the Time Bureau handle it.

No, no, no, no.

We do not let those time-turds

have the satisfaction
of knowing that we...

That you lost the book?

Stop blaming me, okay?

Caesar must have swiped
it when I wasn't looking.

- Nate's right.
- Thank you.

Not about it not being your fault...

About The Time Bureau.

They're 2,000 years away.

We can fix this before they even...

Too late.

Ms. Lance, a word.

Yeah.

Look, I know what you're gonna say,

but we are gonna fix this.

You shall do nothing of the sort.

My agents will clear
this mess in no time.

And what if something goes sideways?

None of these guys are field agents.

Admit it, Rip. You need us.

No, Sara. You need this.

But just because you all found
life outside this ship boring

doesn't mean you get your old jobs back.

Because the Time Bureau is capable

of getting the job done...

Without the mess.

Status?

We've got eyes on the
target. Go-team is hot.

Yes, you are.

Watch and learn, Ms. Lance.

Execute.

Asset acquired.

Proceed to the target to commence

memory erasure protocol.

Wait, I've seen this play before.

Leave the merchandise unattended,

draw the target out...

League of Assassins strategy?

No, it's Sink Shower & Stuff.

We use it to catch shoplift...

It's a trap!

You've got to pull
your team out of there.

Agent Sharpe, initiate extraction.

Extract.

Uh, Agent Sharpe has been...

apprehended.

We were caught unprepared.

But we'll go back in, and we...

And screw things up worse
than you already have?

Boss is right.

We need to go and rescue Agent Hotcakes.

Oh, please. This entire situation

is happening because of you idiots...

Idiots? Idiots with special abilities.

We know how to handle ourselves.

Not against Julius Caesar,

who has an entire legion at his command.

We're pretty good at
taking down legions.

You're damn straight.

I'm assuming the answer is no,

but do any of you happen to have a plan?

We're about to rejoin my army.

Be grateful.

Not only am I letting you live,

I'm permitting you to witness
the rise of the Roman Empire.

The Time Bureau will never
permit you to alter history.

Caesar does not alter history.

He makes it.

Surrender your prisoner
in the name of Ares,

the god of war!

Mars is the Roman god of war, Jefferson.

Yeah, whatever.

- What the hell are you doing?
- Rescuing you.

I can take care of myself.

Howdy.

Dormi strictum amicus.

What did you say to him?

Uh, "sleep tight, buddy"?

I guess. Maybe.

I think this deserves a bro hug.

Bring it.

Damn, Ray.

You ruined my vacation...

and my nose.

Now we're even.

See? Problem solved.

I've got to say, Ms. Lance,

now that I've seen your team
in action with my own eyes,

you are even worse than I imagined.

You're welcome.

Well, like Nate said,

sometimes we screw
things up for the better.

I fail to see how
that's true in this case.

It's our new motto.

New motto?

Right, does that mean that
you all plan to continue

swashbuckling your way through history?

With the Time Bureau's
permission, of course.

And if I deny you permission?

- We'll do it anyways.
- Yeah.

Sir, the go-team has
erased the memories

of Caesar and his forces.

Good. We'd best take our leave, then.

Sara. Mr. Rory.

Do your best to stay out of trouble.

What's that?

It's a, uh, portal thingy.

A, uh,

communications thing,

and a, uh... Ah, yes...

a memory thing.

So I guess that means you're staying.

Well, I kind of have to.

You'd be dead without me.

Cheers.

They are irresponsible,

undependable, unpredictable, dangerous.

And yet effective. At least on occasion.

Is that the reason
they're not warming a cell

back at headquarters as we speak?

They're not warming
a cell, Agent Sharpe,

because they might just be our best hope

of defeating what's coming.

They are the reason Mallus is a threat.

Indeed.

But there might just come a
day when we need the Legends

to do what they do best...

Which is what, exactly?

Be the chainsaw.

Would you open a portal
back to headquarters?

I seem to have...

misplaced my Time Courier.

- How's she running?
- Lousy.

Rip's monkeys really
screwed up the works.

It's gonna take Ray
months to figure this out.

Why Raymond?

Well, I told Sara to take us back home.

Oh, that's... that's
unfortunate, considering...

I have decided to stay aboard.

Whoa, wait, wait, what?

I shanghaied you into our first voyage.

I forced this life upon you.

I could hardly ask
you to give it up now.

But your life, your family...

I'll make it home

for the birth of my first grandchild.

As for my family...

They're on this ship as well.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

You doing okay?

Well, nothing says "doing okay" like

pining over files of your ex.

Yeah, I was just thinking...

About her?

Yeah, about her, and...

and this place.

I miss being on the ship.

Yeah, of course you do.

It's your home.

And she's back home too.

If she's happy, I'm happy.

She's happy, right?

Yeah. Totally.

_

This is the village.

Get out of our way, woman.

Actually, that's what
I was gonna tell you.

We have business here.

If you call poaching
and raping "business."

Zambesi is under my protection.

No! No, please don't!