Leaving (2012–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

Another nerve-wracking Saturday, eh?

Yeah.

Anybody'd think it was you
getting married.

You should be used to it by now.

Happiest day of their lives.

I only get one chance to get it right,
make it perfect.

Do you know the
happiest day of my life?

Every single one that has you in it.

That's not saying much. You had a miserable childhood.

- I mean it.
- Yeah, so do I.

There they are, the Cheeky Girls.



- Good luck.
- See you later.

Morning.

Agnetha,
I know how long you've been in there.

Can you stop texting
and get back to work, please?

Even though you have it on silent
I can hear your fingers.

- Nervous?
- I just want it to go right. No screw-ups.

You've rehearsed it.
Just think of it as a PowerPoint presentation.

Yeah, just...
just enjoy the free wine, Aaron, yeah?

Tom.

- This grape's a bit sour.
- Yeah.

- Try it.
- Tom.

The registrar's here and she's ready
if you'd like to make your way down.

Now,
I will direct the guests to follow.

- Don't forget to take the best man with you.
- No, he's not my best man.



I'm not. I'm second best man.
I'm his brother.

- Yeah, it's Shaun. Shaun.
- Oh, right.

Phoebe is still in her room.
Once you're all settled

I'll tell her and the rest of the
bridal party to make their way down.

We're a chair short on this table.

I have just counted eight places
and seven chairs.

Come on, less Geneva Convention.
Let's get this bloody thing moving.

We've got marks here.
I've told you about this before.

Has everybody made sure that
the champagne is on ice?

Agnetha,
there's a napkin on the floor there.

Flowers on the top table.

Well, it's too much. The guests can't
see the bride and groom and vice versa.

- Has chef done the starters?
- Seafood cocktails.

He needs to time the soup
with the speeches.

- Hugh...
- I know what you're going to say.

- Can I see the last bit?
- Come straight back, OK?

Thank you.

I will share with you
in joy and laughter,

comfort and support you.

I will never allow anything to destroy
the feelings we have for each other.

And I will respect
and cherish you always.

And I will respect
and cherish you always.

You are now husband and wife.

You may now kiss
your beautiful bride.

They're uncovering and stacking
the chairs in the ceremony room.

The Lancaster Suite
can wait till morning.

- I'm in again at six.
- That's what I mean.

It all went without a hitch then?

I'm going home now.

- Oh, well done.
- On behalf of everybody,

I'd just like to say well done.

Do you want help up?

Yes, please...

Julie Ranmore, deputy manager,
events and catering.

So you have to run around
like a blue-arsed fly, Julie.

As long as everybody's happy.

Not everybody.

Yeah, I noticed you.

How many of these weddings
have you done?

- Oh, plenty.
- Who cries?

Bride, bride's mother,
bride's father, bridesmaids.

- You're none of them, are you?
- Phoebe preferred my brother.

She tried me for two years first,
though.

Are you staying here?

All part of the package.

Well, I'll fetch the night porter.

Help you to your room.
You know, watch telly, order room service.

I'm sorry.

Thank you, Julie Ranmore,

- events and catering manager.
- Hey, deputy.

Deputy.

It's a pleasure.
You're a guest of the hotel.

Shit.

- It's ten past twelve. You've missed breakfast.
- Has everyone else gone?

The wedding party?
Yeah.

I had my phone on.
Why didn't my mum and dad...

- How am I going to get home?
- Ring for a taxi at reception.

- I haven't got any money.
- Do excuse me, I've got luncheon to prepare for.

Paulina, the highchair goes to table seven,
all right?

Excuse me, you couldn't... This is embarrassing but...
l need a bus fare to Warrington.

Yeah, it is embarrassing.

Sure. It's just last night,
you know, you were...

You were a guest of the hotel.

They check out at twelve here.

Come on. Get in.

You look rough enough as it is.

Finished at one, got a lift home
and drove back here for six.

- That explains it.
- Explains what?

Your bad mood
in the breakfast lounge.

- I've picked you up, haven't I?
- Guilty, that's why.

So what do you do?

I'm hoping to do something
with my degree.

Really?

How long have you been out of uni?

Three years.

I live in hope, you know.

I turned up at the wedding hoping
Phoebe would do a runner with me.

She looked absolutely beautiful
yesterday.

So happy.

That's what really upset me...

how happy she looked,
how beautiful she looked... for him.

Yeah, well, there's some things
you can't want any more.

Something just happens and after that...
it's just not right.

Do you mind pulling up
so I can get out?

All of a sudden
you sound like my aunt.

It's better to take some advice
than get drunk.

Better to get real about some stuff.

Real.

I saw you mouthing
the wedding vows off by heart.

How real is that?

Yeah, well,
at least I'm happy when I do it.

Come on, Maxine.

- I'll go on the Internet for you.
- I don't need anything on the Internet.

Let's see what you've done so far.

Dad's doing dinner but it's only pasta.
I never did Nazism at school.

- You're doing it now.
- Mum, I'm fine.

- You should be doing this in your room anyway.
- It's lonely.

That's why you need me to do your
coursework with you, my baby.

When's dinner ready?

- What homework are you doing?
- Human geography.

- Populations, globalisation?
- Watch out, Dean, she's got her eye on yours now.

- She won't be happy till she gets an A.
- I just envy them, don't you?

It hurt, all right?

We just wanted you to
be dignified about it.

But that's obviously
a job for a grown-up.

- Why don't you send me to my room?
- Oh, don't be silly.

I'm grateful...
that you've let me come back.

And if I could leave again,
I would.

But I'm stuck.

I'm just stuck.

And I'm sorry for you two
because it's not meant to be like this.

Could we leave the light on
a little bit?

It's not romantic.

I can't see what you look like.

You know what I look like.

This is wired, fortunately.

- I don't care.
- I know.

The last time I took my clothes off in front of you,
you didn't even look at me.

- But you don't want me to look at you.
- So?

- What do you mean 'so'?
- Well...

I do.

A bit.

- What bit?
- Mum, I haven't got a clean blouse for tomorrow

and there's nowt
in the linen basket.

I'll come and find something for you.

- You are coming back, aren't you?
- Of course I'm coming back.

Hey.
Might come with live-in quarters.

- What if they know I don't live far?
- Live-in quarters or not, it's a job.

You know where this is,
don't you?

What?

Heartbreak Hotel.
Whoops.

- Oh, well, you'll have to take it on the chin, mate.
- Yeah.

- What's the occupancy like at the moment?
- 70%.

Any nice businessmen, Ange?

- Come for an interview with Mr Palmer.
- You're kidding?

No.
I want to be in events and catering.

You inspired me, Julie.

You must be Aaron.

Hugh.

Nothing.

Waste of time interviewing that one.

Won't last two minutes.

Yeah, I'm about to take their order.

- Can I take your room number, sir?
- Yes, 22.

- Good morning. Tea or coffee?
- Good morning.

- Tea for me.
- Coffee for me.

- White or brown toast?
- Brown.

- Brown?
- Yes, please.

And you, sir?

Julie,
can you make sure the Cheeky Girls

remember how to
lay a table this time?

Aaron, can you translate
or do a mime show or something?

I go over it with them
every Thursday and Friday.

One of these days I'll put you in for an NVQ.

Aaron, you'll be working in the
orangery this Saturday.

The guests like
a little bit of eye candy.

What?

Does everyone here
have to take that shit?

Don't turn up here
and start being all TUC.

Just cos you know your place.

This isn't a gap year.
This is my life.

Sorry.

I need to show you
how to lay a table.

I'd have thought if anyone would know where
the knives and forks go it would be you.

Take the smaller one,
put it on the outside.

Then we go fish. Now butter.
We're going to have butter.

That's a butter, that's a steak,
that's a normal.

We don't need these.
That's for the crab.

That's for lobster. That's the crusher.
We won't be using that today. They've got no money.

Right.

I say it's for my family.

It's really the Saturdays
I do it for.

When it all comes together.

- Is that straight?
- Yeah.

And you just feel lucky,
you know,

what you've been able to
do for people.

So what's it like at your house?
Soft lights, scented candles,

renewing your vows every two weeks?

No, don't be silly, no, it's...

It's just when a couple come to you six months,
a year beforehand

and then you end up seeing them
walking down here...

It reminds you...

How excited you once were?

Julie.

What?

You're kneeling on my hand.

Oh.

Didn't know you were home.

Same goes for you.

I had some free periods.

Hello.

Hi. The barrier doesn't seem
to be responding to my pass.

Just a minute.

- Sorry, it's just not reading it.
- That's OK.

Er...
oh, your pass has expired.

- You'll have to let the company know.
- Oh, shit.

It's OK, I'll let you in now,
but tonight..

- I'll sort it out by then.
- You better had.

Thanks a lot.

I've got deja vu.

- Going to be all right?
- I think so.

You can't get drunk this time.

- What are these called?
- Floral centrepieces.

- Why?
- They're beautiful.

Was this you?

Well, some help from the florist.

- Don't be modest.
- Anyway, Hugh will take the credit.

He's good at that.

Never before in my life have I
appreciated a floral centrepiece.

- Well, there you go.
- The love and care you put into all of this.

You have to. it's...

- Here's to you. Come on.
- Oh.

To me.

In Poland, every wedding has a priest
and lasts for two days.

She's not proposing to you,
by the way.

I'm waiting for you to
make a proposal to me.

Lucky I'm not staying in the staff quarters.
I'd never get any sleep.

Break's over.

- Not a good idea that.
- What?

The hotel's got a policy against it.

We were messing around.
Anyway, she's not my type.

What is your type?

- Sorry, that is none of my business.
- I'll tell you if you like.

Er, some of the wedding guests
are arriving tonight,

so make sure that housekeeping put
their itineraries in their rooms.

You're all so fucking young.

- You on your lunch hour?
- I don't get an hour. It's ten minutes in and out.

Just as well. That car park
would be chaos if you didn't look after it.

You've got to get back in the game.
Forget all that loving someone.

- And how do I do that?
- Shag... the Polish girl.

Then what?

Announce your engagement.
What do you mean 'then what'?

She'll be bogging off back to Krakow
soon enough. Job done.

- You're all heart.
- I think you need to give your other organ a workaout.

Yeah, I need rampant sex
with a 19-year-old from Gdansk!

Oh...!

Our basic needs fulfilled.

That's when we're really happy.

Definitely.

- Enjoy your day.
- Aaron Simmons?

I was at school with you.

- Seb.
- That's right, yeah.

- So um... so is this...
- Yeah, this is what I do now.

Enjoy your day.

- Drinking on the job?
- No, the bride needs a glass to calm her nerves.

Don't you think you look beautiful?

I don't know.
Not beautiful enough.

Listen,
when you walk down that aisle

people will be thinking
how lucky you are

to be feeling the way you do.

- Cos the smile you'll have on you.
- I am happy.

Everyone's happy,
cos it's you and your fella.

And your fella's gorgeous too,
I'm telling you.

Registrar's ready.

More important, are you ready?

I'll let the registrar know.

Beautiful dress.
Crap for dancing though.

More plates over here, please.

I was quite enjoying that.

- Take care. Get home safe.
- Thanks. Bye.

Thank you.

- You want one?
- No, thanks.

Thank you.

You worked really hard today.

Especially you. I'm knackered now.

- I've got the car if you want a lift.
- I'm staying at the staff quarters.

You could stay at mine.

Well, clear-up starts
first thing tomorrow.

As long as you're up for that
I don't care what you do.

- Right. Dobranoc.
- Good night

Dobranoc.

Changed my mind.

You should get some rest.

You need it.

You know why I worked so hard today?

Yeah,
worried we might get rid of you.

Did you see the look on the bride's face
after you'd spoken to her?

I felt like I owed it to her
to work hard.

- To make sure.
- What, that she was happy?

Look what you've done to me.

A-ha.

- Most of the time I'm really...
- Cynical and sneery and know-it-all.

- Thank you!
- That's where you're going with it.

- I'm other things as well.
- Really?

Surprise me.

Sorry.

It's been a long day and...

- You said 'surprise me'.
- I didn't mean jump on me.

I was hardly jumping.

Anyway, you didn't exactly...

Yeah, well, I am now, all right?

Anyway, I'm not Phoebe.
I'm not your sister-in-law.

- That's not why I...
- Really?

- Oh, you mixed-up boy.
- What?

To be interested in
someone as old as you?

It says more about you, Julie.

I'm a married woman
with two teenage kids.

I do wedding events,
that's all I do.

And get your thrills
seeing other people happy.

I am happy.

Don't you dare talk to me
about my life.

Get out of the car.

Get out.

Julie.

- I'll see you back here at six, shall I?
- Right, OK.

I don't think he's
responding to the training particularly well.

- I don't think...
- What's my badge say?

- Manager.
- What's your badge say?

Deputy manager.

Ask Aaron to take this to reception,
please?

Aaron.

- Can you take this to reception, please?
- Is that all?

- What do you mean?
- You were trying to get me sacked, weren't you?

Well?

- He wouldn't listen to me.
- Cos there's nothing wrong with my work, is there?

- No.
- So what have I done, Julie?

Reception.

Well, obviously you need to bear in mind
your budget.

I recommend having a long hard think

about how many guests you want.

Buffet as opposed to seated meal
can bring your bill down quite a bit.

So sorry to
take my leave of you like that.

Since when did you start
discussing prices with clients?

They asked me.

So you start spouting about
how they can have it on the cheap.

Oh, no, bring down the costs,
I said.

Ask my boss.
That's all you're supposed to say.

- All?
- Don't get ideas, Julie.

Got me?

Did they make a booking, Mr Palmer?

- Yes, they did.
- So don't you think Julie deserves some credit?

I do.

He shouldn't have
spoken to you like that.

'Don't get ideas, Julie', Jesus.

If it weren't for you.

- You're the reason this place has a reputation.
- Give it the extra star, don't I?

You're carrying him.
You could take over.

Go somewhere else, get a promotion.
You're great at this.

Get ideas?

It's not too late.

Hasn't anyone ever told you that?

Only the bigmouth
that's talking to me now.

I've got my uses, don't I?

Aaron.

I'm confused.

Mum... this is Ryan.

Hiya.

Do you want me to
grab some of those?

- You want those.
- Yeah.

You make a lovely couple.

Shut up, Mum.

No, no.

It's all right,
I'm not the Taliban.

Actually, I just needed
a quick word with you, Aaron.

Er, it's just...
it's your rota for next week.

You've got Thursday off.

Oh, so do I.
Well, I should know...

I organise the schedule, don't I?

What I mean is that if you were...
round in town...

You know, if you want...

- Go for a coffee or something?
- That... that would...

- Yeah, out of the fishbowl.
- You know, talk about something other than the work.

- Do you want a picnic?
- A picnic?

- It's just a thought.
- It's quite a thought.

- All right, forget it.
- No...

I haven't been on a picnic for years.

Going to have a lie-in tomorrow?

Well,
we need some new curtains really.

Thought I'd go in tomorrow,
have a look.

The whole day?

Well, you know how long
I can make shopping last.

Aaron?

I've got all the stuff.
I'm just at the supermarket entrance.

I know.

Do you?

Listen, I thought we could go down
by the lake under the pagoda...

until the sun comes out.

Julie?

- I don't think so, Aaron.
- It'll stop raining.

I'm saying I can't do it.

What do you mean?

- It's just a day out. It's not...
- But what is it then?

A work's do?

I walked out this morning lying.
I'd be coming back later lying.

- This was your idea, Julie.
- I'm your boss.

It's against hotel policy.
I tell you what to do and...

And you're 20 years
younger than me so...

It's a stupid idea.
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

All right.

Mum.

- Do you fancy going on a picnic?
- You what?

Got coleslaw, sandwiches,
proper knives and forks.

- You better piss off, mate.
- Come on.

It's a shame to see it all
go to waste.

It'll be lovely.
We'll go somewhere nice and quiet

and we can make a day of it.

Aaron?

What happened?

Usual pattern of events.

Got stood up, got rejected,
got drunk.

Why are you here?

My daughter has
suspected appendicitis.

Right. Because I didn't think cold feet
was a medical condition.

What happened?

I got set on.

What do you mean?

I had a lot to say for myself
about picnics and shit.

You won't be able to go to work
looking like that, will you?

My line manager might think
I'm a malingerer if I call in sick.

No, she won't.

No. In the circumstances
I'm sure she'll be very understanding.

Look at your face.

I was supposed to be with you
just laying somewhere together,

not in some horrible bar
anaesthetising myself.

- That your daughter?
- Yeah.

Actually,
just as well you were there for her.

Julie Ranmore.

OK.

- Who's that?
- Just someone from the hotel.

Um...

Paulina, Agnetha,

will you dress the chairs
in the function room

and get the covers
from housekeeping, please?

Thank you, girls.

- You don't have to do this.
- Makes sense.

Not if we're sensible
and carry on like nothing's happened.

You know,
cos nothing has happened.

I just think it's better
if I move on.

There is nothing wrong
with your work.

I thought you'd be a lazy bloody tyke
who couldn't be arsed. You're not.

Like I said, it must be
the effect you've had on me.

Why should the hotel
lose a good employee?

Because of the effect
you've had on me.

Do you really mean that?

Nothing like this has ever
happened to me.

It's typical of people like you.

Just flitting
from one thing to another.

So easy to walk away
cos you don't really need it.

Do you know what?

I'm glad I didn't get involved.
How long would it have lasted?

Try out the older woman for five minutes
then off to bloody Bali...

- Wait here.
- Where are you going?

Reception.

I bought you a hard copy of the guest charges
for breakfast this morning.

- Do I need this?
- Someone said your printer wasn't working properly.

I am not going to lose what I have got.
I am not.

The firm are investigating.
I'm suspended while they do that.

I only wanted to
get friendly with her.

This is Julie.

Julie.

Who was Julie with last night?

Small corrections: Peterlin