Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 6, Episode 38 - The Clothing Drive - full transcript

[Announcer] Starring...

and...

Listen here, guys. You
might as well give up

because I'm gonna skunk you.

Listen, Mike, what
are you talking about?

I've got just as good a chance

of skunking everybody as you do.

You guys aren't gonna skunk
me because I'm gonna skunk you.

[both] Yeah, well,
I bet I skunk you.

Okay, just wait and see who
wins a good citizenship award.

Hey, if we're
such good citizens,



how come we're
hollering at each other?

Listen, Chuck, they don't
judge you on your hollering.

Mostly they judge you on how much
clothes and junk you bring to the school

for the clothing drive.

Yeah, well, I figure a
guy with a big family

has got it easier than the
guy with the small family.

How come?

Well, the guy
with the big family

has got more
stuff laying around.

Me and Wally got a lot of stuff.

But if we were 10 kids, we'd
have twice as much easy.

I don't know if I'll have
anything to bring in.

Everything I get
to finish wearing

my mom makes
my kid brother wear.



Yeah, when I was little,

I used to have to
wear Wally's old stuff.

I wonder if the
President's little kid

has to wear his
sister's old clothes.

Nah, I think when you
live in the White House,

you just wear stuff once,
and then you throw it away.

Yeah, if your
father's President,

you don't get to wear
your brother's old stuff.

Hey, pick that up.

They don't give good
citizenship awards to pigs.

Okay, okay.

You don't have to bury
it. Just throw it away.

Hey, look what I found.

Gee, that's a swell hat.

I wonder why anybody
would throw it away.

I don't know, but I'm gonna
give it to the clothing drive.

Boy, if you keep
having this kind of luck,

I don't even stand a chance.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, just getting some
clothes and stuff together.

You're not running away
from home again, are you?

No, it's for needy people
who haven't got anything.

Hey, look, Beaver, you can't give
somebody a sock with a hole in it.

You won't give them a
sweater with a hole it in?

No, I'm gonna keep the sweater.

There's something neat
about a sweater with a hole in it.

It makes you look
like a tough guy.

Hey, Wally,

do you want this Hawaiian shirt?

Of course I do.

It's brand new.

Well, yeah, but
it's nice and bright.

Well, I figure it kind
of jazz things up

for the needy guy who got it.

Look, Beav, maybe
it'd be a good idea if you

went through this
junk with Mom, huh?

You think I ought to?

Well, sure do.

Boy, the way you
want to give junk away,

you might end up

accepting the
good citizen's award

in your underwear.

Not on the table,
Beaver. Put it over here.

Is all that laundry?

Uh-uh. It's for
the needy people.

Oh, the clothing drive at
school you told me about.

Why, I think that's a fine idea.

Yeah, the guy that brings the
most stuff gets to be a good citizen.

And he gets a paper with his
name on it signed by the Mayor

and his picture in the
paper and everything.

Not now, Beaver.

Well, it looks like you brought
everything down you own.

Is there anything
left in the closet?

Oh, sure, there's
a lot of stuff.

Do you want me to get it?

I don't think that'll
be necessary.

I'd better sift through
this batch first.

Hey, Mom, have you seen
my warm-up jacket anywhere?

Not yet.

Here, this it?

Yeah, that's it, thanks.

Beaver, what did you have
to throw this in that junk for?

Well, just fell in, I guess.

Yeah, you know, nothing's
safe around this house,

the way you're going.

Wally, I'm sure it was
an honest mistake.

Yeah, it was a honest mistake.

Beaver.

Oh, Beaver, how could you?

How could I what, Mom?

Well, Mom, what did he do?

Think of giving this away.

Where did you find it?

On the bottom drawer.

Well, and there's some stuff

all wrapped up in tissue paper.

It's your first suit.

It has... Sentiment.

Yes.

Something I was saving.

Beaver, now, how
could you put it in there?

Well, I guess it was

just another one of
those honest mistakes.

You know, Mom, it
sure smells spooky.

Well, that's the sachet I
had wrapped up in the suit.

I think we better keep it.

I hate to have a
needy guy get in a fight

just because he
smells like a flower.

Boy, you know, you sure
cleaned everything out, Beav.

You can't throw these
away. Their practically new.

Well, I was only trying
to be a good citizen.

Yeah, Well, you
can be a good citizen

without dragging my
sweatpants into the act.

Look, Beaver, why
don't you let me

go through the
things you have here?

And later maybe
your father and I

can come with some
things of our own.

Well, okay.

But remember, Mom,

I'm shooting for
a thousand points.

You know, Wally, I don't think

I'm gonna do too good
in this clothing drive.

Well, why not?

Everything in that pile was
either half new or sentimental.

Well, Beaver, your mother and I

picked out some clothes
for you to take to school.

Thanks, Dad.

You think there's enough for
me to get a thousand points?

Beaver, the fact that you're
donating something to some one

that'll will help them
should be enough for you.

That's right, son.

The award should be secondary.

I guess it's like baseball.

What does baseball
has to do with it?

Well, like Dad says,

"Does matter if you win or lose,

it's how you play the
game that counts."

Well, that's absolutely right.

Still, it's more fun to win.

I'd like to have my
name in the newspaper.

Well, I got to run.

Oh, say, fellas,
you've been promising

to clean up that garage for me.

How about getting onto it

when you get home
from school today?

Well, gee, Dad, I have
track practice today.

And I'll be busy
being a good citizen.

Citizenry can begin at home.

Right, tomorrow, then.

You know, you might find something
in there for the clothing drive.

Okay, Dad.

Bye, dear. So long, boys.

Bye, honey.

- Bye, Dad.
- Have a good day.

Oh, Beaver, don't
forget the old clothes.

They're out here in the hall.

[Beaver] Okay, Dad.

Well, so long, Mom. I'll
see you after practice.

Take it easy.

Don't get overheated.

Gee, Mom, that's
what practice is for.

Work up a sweat. So long.

Beaver.

The clothes for the
drive are out in the hall.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.

Well, I think we're
doing just fine here

on our clothing drive.

Just fine.

You and your parents
should be congratulated.

Yes, the awarding of the prize

is going to be a very
difficult decisions.

All right, who's next?

Mr. Harmon, we'll look
at your contribution.

Well, most of this
stuff was given

by my mother and father.

I see.

Say, that certainly
looks interesting.

My Uncle Carl gave this.

[class laughs]

Class, please.

That was very
generous of your uncle.

Well, he was finished with it.

He figured it might be good
for some needy headwaiter.

[class laughs]

My uncle is always
making jokes like that.

And this is from me.

Well, Michael, this
is quite a collection.

That hat is the
pièce de résistance.

It is?

Well, I just found
it in the trash can.

[class laughs]

Mr. Cleaver, we're about
due to hear from you now.

Good luck, Beav. I
hope you come in second.

Thanks.

Well, I guess most of this
is on account of my father.

I see.

He even gave me three suits.

That's excellent, Mr. Cleaver.

These suits are a
wonderful donation.

Your father should be commended.

Yeah, well, I didn't even
know they were used up yet.

But I guess my father wanted
to help the needy people,

even though he's
not getting a reward.

It's just like baseball.

- Oh?
- Yeah.

Oh, baseball, yes.
That's fine, Theodore.

That's just fine.

Class, I am truly proud of
the way you all pitched in

and helped in
this clothing drive.

And each one of
you has proven to me

that he is a good citizen.

So the naming of the winner

of our good citizens
program is not easy.

But I'm sure that
you all agree with me

that the award goes to
Mr. Theodore Cleaver.

[applause]

- Congratulations, Beav.
- Thanks.

I guess that hat wasn't
as classy as I thought.

[phone rings]

Hello. Oh, hello, Ward.

Uh, June, did the cleaner
pick up those suits of mine yet?

I need one of them
for Thursday night.

I don't know what
suits your talking about.

Three I left in the hall, dear.

I put a note in the jacket
pocket of the gray one.

Well, I haven't
seen them, honey.

Wait a minute
and I'll take a look.

No, they're not there.

Not there?

What do you mean
they're not there?

I mean they're not there.

The only thing that's
there is a note on the floor

that says "Clean and press."

Maybe you took them with you.

Well, no, of course I didn't.

I put them on the banister

so they wouldn't get mixed up
with the clothes Beaver was...

June, you don't suppose

Beaver could have taken
them to school by mistake?

You know, for
the clothing drive.

Ward, I'm afraid so.

Well, you told him to take
the clothes that were in the hall.

Well, we got to get them back.

Of course.

But how?

Well, you just have
to think of something.

Hi, Mom.

Well, I won the good
citizenship award.

They're gonna give me a plaque
with my name on it tomorrow

and I get my picture
and everything.

And I never would have
done it without Dad's suits.

Beaver.

Beaver, I'm afraid I have
some bad news for you.

Those weren't your
father's old suits.

They were your father's
good suits for the cleaners.

Well, gee, Mom,
it wasn't my fault.

Well, I know that, but we're
gonna have to get the suits back.

But if they give the suits back,

that means I got to give
the thousand points back.

I'm sorry, Beaver.

I guess this is just one of
those unfortunate circumstances.

Yeah.

But I'm the guy that'll have to
get up in front of the whole class

and tell them I'm a
rotten good citizen.

And that's a pretty
unfortunate circumstance, too.

Uh, well, Wally, how
did practice go today?

Pretty good, Dad. We
did a lot of wind sprints.

What are wind sprints?

Well, that's when
you knock yourself out

to build yourself up.

Oh.

Dad.

Yes, Beaver.

Well, you can talk about
the suits if you want to.

I already know.

Yes, Well, I'm glad you
brought that up, Beaver.

I guess we got
into a little mix-up.

Yeah, I guess I thought they
were in pretty good shape.

But I thought you just
trying to help needy people

and I even told Mr. Bailey that.

Well, I hope you don't think
I'm against helping people

just because I
want the suits back.

I'm sure Mr. Bailey
will understand

that it was all a mistake.

Oh, sure, Dad.

And I just hope that kids

don't think that I'm a
no-good good citizen.

Mr. Bailey is a pretty
good guy, Beav.

You can tell him what
happened. He won't hit you.

He'll probably laugh
about the whole thing.

Well, sometimes
getting laughed at

is worst than getting hit.

Dad, I can't ask
for the suits back.

If you explain.

But, gee, Mom, after
I won the award...

Well, I can't get up in
front of the whole class

and explain I'm an Indian giver.

Yeah, well, I suppose
that's true, son.

June, why don't you go
over to school tomorrow

and explain the whole
thing to Mr. Bailey?

You know, sort of take
Beaver off the spot.

Why me, may I ask?

Well, I'll be at work,

and I'm sure you don't want
Beaver to be embarrassed.

Of course not.

I'll be real busy tomorrow, Mom.

Heavy schedule.

Well, you were
already excluded, Wally.

So I guess the whole thing
sort of falls on you, dear.

I think we'll have a
small recount here.

Who put the suits
where they were?

I did.

And who forgot to tell anyone

that they were for the cleaners?

Well, uh, I did.

But I put a note in the pocket.

And furthermore,
who told Beaver to take

the clothes that
were in the hall?

I guess I did.

Well, then, logically,

who should get the suits back?

Me.

Boy, Mom, that was neat.

Yeah, Mom, just
like Perry Mason.

Wouldn't care to poll
the jury, would you?

Oh, no. No, I know
when I've had it.

I don't suppose there's any
purpose of a mercy plea?

None.

Okay.

Well, in that case I volunteer
to go to school tomorrow

and get the suits back.

Whoa, here.

Your father is having breakfast

down at his office this morning.

Had some work
he wanted to finish

before he goes to school.

Boy, at my school,

I hope he doesn't run
into anybody I know.

What do you mean, Beaver?

Well, Mom, when the
guys hear Dad at school

they right away think
your teacher sent for him.

Well, yeah, but you
know that's not true.

Yeah, I know.

But this one time I wish I
had done something wrong.

What ever for, Beaver?

Well, as long as the guys
gonna think I goofed off,

well, I might as well
have the fun of goofing off.

Boy, you know something,
Beaver? You're really weird.

Here's probably the only time

when a guy's folks go to
school when he's not in trouble,

and you wish you
were in trouble.

Come on, you
boys better hurry up.

You're gonna be late.

Okay, Mom, I'll see you later.

- Bye, Wally.
- So long, Mom.

Beaver.

Beaver, you know, your father's
awfully sorry about what happened.

He won't do anything
in the world to hurt you.

Well, I know,
Mom, and it's okay.

Well, I guess over the years,

I messed up Dad a lot more
than he's messed up me.

Hey, Beav,

I saw your pop in
school this morning.

He was going into
Mrs. Rayburn's office.

Uh-huh.

Well, what did you do, Beav?

What did you do?

Nothing.

[tapping]

Well, they don't
send for your father

if you did nothing.

Well, I didn't anything.

My father just wanted
to talk to Mrs. Rayburn.

About what?

Well, he just wanted to
tell her how happy he is

about me not being in trouble.

Brother, to make up
something like that,

you must really be in a mess.

Mr. Cleaver, I'm
sure you're very proud

of Theodore's contribution
to the clothing collection.

Oh, yes. Yes, I was
quite touched by it.

As a matter of fact...

Actually, I'm not sure that
all praise is due Theodore.

Regular credit goes to
you. Mr. Bailey told me about

the wonderful
suit you turned in.

Yes, well, it was about
those suits that I wanted...

Do you realize

what those suits could
mean to some needy person?

I can imagine.

A whole new start in life.

A man with one of those
suits on his back might feel

a resurgence of self-respect.

Perhaps a new job, a new life.

We are indebted to you.

Well, I just hope you feel the same
way after you hear what I have to say.

Nothing you could say could
ever change our opinion of you.

Mrs. Rayburn, I don't know
if there's anyway to say this

so that it doesn't
come out wrong.

But to put it bluntly,
I'd like those suits back.

Oh?

May I ask why? Was
there some sort of mistake?

Yes, there certainly was.

And it was entirely my fault,

and I don't want
Beaver to suffer for it.

You see, the thing
that happened was

I put the suits out
for the cleaner, but I...

Well, I...

Well, June, I'll tell you I
haven't felt so sheepish

since I was in the fifth grade

and was sent to
the principal's office.

What were you in
that time for, Dad?

For pulling a
little girl's hair.

But believe me, I felt worst
today with Mrs. Rayburn.

You really had a
hard day at school.

Well, I guess I loose my
thousand points, huh, Dad?

Well, gee, Beav,

maybe if they already got your
name printed up on the award,

they'll give it to you anyway.

No, Wally, you know, it
never works that way for you.

It only works that
way for other guys.

Well, Beaver,
all is not lost yet.

Mrs. Rayburn said we can
have a 24-hour chance to see

if you can hang
on to to your points.

You mean I can get some more
stuff together and maybe even still win?

Hey, Beav, you can have
that Hawaiian shirt of mine,

if it'll help.

Beaver,

I think if we all put in
effort forth after dinner,

we can come up with some
more things for Beaver to bring.

Well, fine.

Oh, and, Dad.

Well, if you got
any clean to go out

would you please put
them in a separate pile?

Sure, Beaver, sure.

Boy, Beav, sure looks like Mom
and Dad went all out for you this time.

Yeah, look at all the
neat stuff they gave me.

Hey, Wally, you
don't have to give this

if you don't want to.

Oh, no, that's okay.
You can have it.

Well, you sure? You
sure you don't want it?

Yeah, I'm sure. I
told you it's okay.

Well, it's a real neat
shirt. It's okay, huh?

Look, I already told you
three times you can have it

so have it.

Thanks, Wally.

Hey, wait a minute.

What're you doing?

Well, if you don't mind, Wally,

well, I thought
I'd keep it for me.

Now, look, Beaver.
When I gave it...

Well, you said I can have it.

Well, yeah, but...

What about the clothing drive?

Gee, Wally, there's an
awful lot of stuff there.

And maybe this
shirt... Well, you know,

maybe it's a little too loud.

Look, Beaver, give
it to the drive, huh?

Well, they might
find some poor guy

who's gonna take a trip
to Hawaii or something.

[June] Beaver.

Your father left something else

for you to take to
the clothing drive.

Boy, I know what that is.

Yeah, it's Pop's old tuxedo.

Boy, I'll bet Mr. Bailey
calls the piece of resistance,

like he did Mike's hat.

What?

A piece of resistance.

Oh, you mean a
pièce de résistance.

Yeah, that's what I said.

- Here.
- Can I have it for sure.

Sure, you can.

Boy, Mom, this is neat.

Well, it's a real gangster suit.

A gangster suit.

Well, sure, Mom. Don't you
ever watch The Untouchables?

Hey, Beav.

Hey, Beav, why are
you bringing more stuff?

Well, that's why my father
was in school yesterday.

I had to give back the
three suits. It was a mistake.

Oh, then you haven't
won a thousand points yet?

I guess there's
gonna be a recount.

Yeah, that's why I
brought this stuff.

Well, that's not fair.

You get two shots at it, and
the rest of us only get one.

Well, thank you, Mr. Cleaver.

That's another
handsome contribution.

We all heard the most unfortunate
story of Mr. Cleaver's suits.

[class giggles]

It's not funny.

It's a perfectly honest mistake.

I'm sure you all agree.

And I'm certain that
you all agree with me

that the contribution that
Theodore brought today

makes up for the suits.

Yes, Mr. Harmon.

Mr. Bailey, does that
mean that Beaver...

I mean Theodore gets to
keep the thousand points?

I believe it does.

Uh, Mr. Cleaver.

Well, I don't think I
should keep the points, sir.

Why not?

Well, I had two chances at it,

and the rest of the
guys only had one.

So I guess that gave me more time
to get more clothes and stuff together.

That's a very commendable
attitude, Mr. Cleaver.

You just let me think
about this for a while,

and I'll announce the
new point award later.

Meanwhile, I think we've
all learned a little something.

There's an excellent
lesson in what good citizen is

and what Mr. Cleaver
has just done.

Gee, Mr. Bailey, I
haven't learned any lesson.

In just two seconds,

you will be learning one
in the principal's office.

Yes, sir.

Chuck, will you pass
these out, please?

Hey, Beaver,
maybe we'll both win.

- Yeah.
- Hey, if you want that hat
I found the other day.

You can have it.

But I thought you gave
it to the clothing drive.

Well, I did, but Mr. Bailey
made me take it back.

It didn't smell too good.

So you and Mike split
up the points, huh?

Yeah, and one other guy.

- Which guy is that?
- Shelley Johnson.

She brought in a
lot of good junk, too.

Hey, Beav, have you seen my
other bedroom slipper anywhere?

Uh-uh. Well, I can't
find mine, either.

Hey, you know, what I bet?

What?

I bet you went and gave
them to the clothing drive.

I'll bet you I did.

Wow, at least they
went to a good cause.

Yeah, and I hope they
can find a needy guy

with two left feet.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA