Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 6, Episode 31 - The Poor Loser - full transcript

Starring...

and...

- Hi.
- Hi, honey.

I didn't hear you come in.

I was just bringing
my calendar up to date.

Well, when you're a social
butterfly, you have to watch that.

Yes, me and Elsa Maxwell.

Well, let's see. On the 8th,
I take Beaver to the dentist.

On the 10th, a meeting of the
Women's Club at Wally's school.

And on the 11th, I bake a
cake for the church bazaar.

How does it look
for this Friday night?



It's vacant, ready
and waiting to be filled.

Well, good. Paul
Miller down at the office

has to fly to the
coast this weekend,

so he gave me a couple of
tickets to the baseball game.

Would you like to go?

Oh, honey, that's more
of a treat for the boys.

Anyway, it spoils the game for you
trying to explain to me what's going on.

Yeah, well, the only trouble is

there are three of us boys,
and I only have two tickets.

Oh, that does present a problem.

Which one do you ask?

Yeah. Who should get priority,
the oldest or the youngest?

Well, I suppose it
should be the oldest.

Well, I'm sure that solution
will be agreeable to everyone



except the youngest.

Ward, you may not
have a problem after all.

Huh?

About who to take to the game?

Oh?

Well, the game
is on Friday night,

and Wally usually
has a date on Fridays.

Say, that's right, isn't it?

He is at the age where girls look
better to him than Mickey Mantle.

Hey, Mom, have you
seen my ballpoint...

Wow, Dad. Is there any
chance of me getting to go?

Well, Wally, the
game's on Friday.

- Don't you have a date?
- Gee, no, Mom.

Julie Foster and all the
girls are gonna be practicing

for a fashion show up at school.

Mrs. Whitney doesn't want
any of the guys around watching

while the girls are
practicing how to walk ritzy.

Oh, well, Wally, your
father has a little problem.

Oh, you mean he's already
promised to take you?

Oh, no. I don't
care about baseball.

It's just that he
only has two tickets.

Oh, and you're worried about
Beaver putting up a squawk

when Dad and I go, huh?

Well, I don't want to be
accused of favoritism.

Well, gee, maybe we could draw
straws or cut cards or something like that.

Sounds fair enough.

Yeah, but I just
thought of something.

That sounds so
fair, I might lose.

Well, maybe there's
some other way...

Hey, what's the
big meeting in here?

Well, it's, uh, no
big meeting, Beaver.

It's just that I have a couple of
tickets to the game Friday night,

and knowing how much
both you boys like baseball, I...

Well, gee, Dad, do I have to go?

Uh, you mean you
don't want to go?

Oh, sure, Dad, I'd like to.

It's just that me and Gilbert were
going to the movies Friday night.

I don't want to back
out on him now.

Well, Beaver, is it
something special?

Yeah, Mom. It's a
Western in Cinerama.

And they had to take
out the first four rows

to get a screen big enough
to handle all that killing.

Well, Beaver, it's up to you.

If you've made other plans...

Gee, Dad, I'd sure like to go,

but, well, I just can't
break my promise now.

Well, sure, Dad.

That's the worst thing a guy
can do... break a promise.

Why, if you say you're gonna do
something, you should go ahead and...

- Wally?
- Yeah, Dad?

You're going to the ball game.
You don't have to overdo it.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure, Dad.

- Hey, Beaver.
- Oh, hi, Gilbert.

Have you got an Aunt Emma?

An Aunt Emma? No.
I've got an Uncle Billy

and an Aunt Martha and an
Aunt Mildred, but no Aunt Emma.

Well, I have, and
on account of her,

I can't go to the movies
with you this Friday.

- Huh?
- My mother and father
are driving up

to see her this Friday and
staying for the weekend.

They're dragging
me along with them.

But, gee, Gilbert, we've been
planning Friday night for a whole week.

Well, get some other
guy to go with you,

like Kenny or Alan or somebody.

Yeah, well, my dad wanted me
to go to the baseball game, but...

- The baseball game
this Friday night?
- Yeah.

Boy, that sure is
gonna be a great game.

- You think so?
- About the best game
of the whole season.

- Yeah?
- Sure.

You got the guy that's
leading the league in home runs

and the best pitcher.

It's gotta be the greatest.

Boy, I wouldn't pass that
up if I had a chance to go.

- You wouldn't?
- No.

With movies, if you miss them, you can
always wait for them to show up on TV.

But not with baseball games.

Yeah. They're gone forever.

I guess maybe I will go to
the baseball game instead.

And while you're there, Beav,

drinking pop and slopping
mustard all over the hot dogs

and yelling your head off,

think of me up at my
Aunt Emma's with a tie on.

Okay.

- Hi, Wally.
- Oh, hi, Mom.

What's new?

Well, Stuart was
21 and 6 last year

with a 2.69 ERA.

- Really?
- Yeah. With him on the mound

and the power up the
middle, good defense,

that should offset the opposition's
overall balance of power.

Could this lead to war?

Mom, I was talking about
the baseball game Friday night.

Wally, I didn't think you
were reading the society page.

That sure is gonna
be a terrific game.

I'm glad you have
a chance to go.

Hey, Wally, I can go to the
game with you Friday night.

The game? Well, gee, Beaver,

I thought you had some big deal
cooking with Gilbert to go to the show.

I did, but it conked out. Now you and me
and Dad can all go to the game together.

- Beaver.
- Yes, Mom?

Your father only
has two tickets.

- Two tickets?
- Yes. That's all
Mr. Miller gave him.

- Oh.
- And when you said
you had plans with Gilbert,

well, he decided to take Wally.

Well, couldn't Dad get
another ticket, Mom?

- Well, I don't know.
- Well, gee, I just gotta
go to that game.

Say, Mom, why don't you call Dad
down at the office and talk to him?

Yeah. Would you do that, Mom?

Now, you know I don't like to
bother your father at the office.

Well, that's the best
place to call him at.

He never yells at you
when he's at the office.

Well... Come on,
Mom. I just gotta go.

I already told all the
guys at school I was going.

Well, all right,
Beaver. I'll call him.

Well, thanks, Mom.

Hello. May I speak to
Mr. Cleaver, please?

Oh, all right. I'll wait.

If you don't tell
them who you are,

they always make you wait
so you'll think Dad's a big shot.

Beaver, your father's
on long distance.

Yes. Oh, hi, Ward?

Honey, I hate to bother you,

but Beaver's date with
Gilbert is off on Friday,

and he wants to know if
you can get another ticket

so he can go to the
game with you and Wally.

- What?
- Well, tell him
I'll wash his car

and clean out the garage
and pull weeds and...

Beaver, please.

Oh, all right. Fine, honey.

I'll tell him.

Bye.

Well, Beaver, your
father's gonna stop by

the ticket agency
on his way home.

Gee, thanks, Mom. Wally and Dad
and I are really gonna have a great time.

I just thought of
something, Mom.

Friday night, you'll be home
alone. What are you gonna do?

Oh, don't you worry
about me, Beaver.

I think I'm gonna line
the shelves in the kitchen.

I've been looking forward
to doing that for a long time.

Mom, before you were married,

did you ever think you'd get
a kick out of lining shelves?

No, Beaver, to tell
you the truth, I didn't.

Boy, Wally, we're gonna have
a great time Friday, aren't we?

Yeah. It sure ought
to be a great game.

Yeah. Have you seen my
baseball glove anyplace?

Look, Beaver, you
don't need that now.

You better get at your studying.

I'm gonna take it to the game
and try to catch some foul balls.

You better watch it.

Last time you tried
to catch a foul ball,

you spilled coffee all over
the guy sitting in front of us.

Yeah.

Here it is.

All right, infield. Let's
pull back and get two.

The batter comes up, hits
a hard one into the hole.

Shortstop snags
it, throws to second.

Second baseman
gets it, throws to first.

And it's a double play.

Boy, Beaver, you
know what you are?

You're a silly little kid.

Well, it's better than being
a sour old man like you.

I guess maybe you're right.

Hey, Dad's home.

Hi.

- Bad news?
- Bad news.

Hey, Dad, did you
go to the ticket office?

Yes, Beaver, I
did. And I'm sorry.

The game's a complete
sellout. There are no tickets left.

I'm sorry, Beaver. I had no
idea it'd be a complete sellout.

But we'll get out there before the
season's over for a couple of games.

Oh, sure, Dad. That's okay.
I can always watch it on TV.

Gee, Beav, it's not
gonna be on television.

Okay, then I'll listen
to it on the radio.

I don't think they're
gonna put it on radio either.

Yes, that's right. The whole
area's gonna be blacked out.

Well, I can always read about
it the next day in the newspaper.

Well, Beaver, you're certainly being
a good sport about missing the game.

- Isn't he, Wally?
- Yeah.

Are you sick or something, Beav?

Wally.

What do you mean you're
not going to the ball game?

I'm just not going, that's all.

Oh, I get it. Your father
was just kidding you.

Like my father said if I got
all B's, he'd get me a sailboat.

So I showed him my
B-average, and he said,

"What do you mean, sailboat?

When I was your age, I
didn't even have roller skates."

That's the way it
always works out.

No, my father wasn't kidding me.

But he could only get two
tickets, so he's taking Wally.

Oh, he's gonna take
your brother and not you.

Well, he asked
me if I wanted to go,

but when he asked me, I was
going to the movies with you,

and now the game's all sold out.

Did he ask you
first or Wally first?

Well, I guess he
asked Wally first,

'cause Wally was
in the room first.

Look, Beav, you're in the
same kind of family I'm in.

We get the worst of it
'cause we're the youngest.

What kind of junk are you
trying to make up now, Gilbert?

I'm not making it up. The
older kid gets everything.

I don't know.

They work it all the
time. Like my sister.

She got a bike before
me, and she can talk

on the telephone all day
without getting yelled at.

She even got violin
lessons, and I didn't.

I thought you hated the violin.

I do, but that's got
nothing to do with it.

It's the principle of the thing.

They didn't even give me a chance
to tell them that I hate the violin.

Now, you check back, Beav,

and see if Wally
isn't the favorite.

Yeah? Like when?

Well, like, uh...
Like last summer.

Who got to go up
to the lake fishing?

- Wally.
- See?

Yeah, but if I remember right,

I wanted to stay home so I
could play in the pony league.

And that basketball
hoop over your garage.

- Who's that for?
- Well, both Wally and I use it.

Yeah, but who'd
they put it up for?

Well, Wally. But when they
put it up, I was just a little kid.

Yeah, but it's Wally's.

Now, you look back, Beav.
It's always been Wally, Wally,

just like it's always
been my older sister.

Now, you think about that
when you're sitting home

and Wally's sitting
at the ballpark.

Think about it, Beav.

Aw, go on, Gilbert. You don't
know what you're talking about.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Beaver.

Everything okay at school?

Yeah, Mom, everything's
okay at school.

Why aren't you hungry?

Well, I ate a cheese
sandwich for lunch,

and it feels like it's
still in my stomach.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, it's a little
emergency repair.

I took this button off
this jacket of yours

because they match the ones on this
sport coat Wally's gonna wear to the game.

I'll replace it as soon
as I get downtown.

Yeah.

Beaver, it's a jacket you
practically never wear.

Well, sure.

And why do I need
a button on my coat?

Just 'cause I might
get pneumonia?

Yeah, Dad, I'll try to get home
from school as soon as I can.

Uh, maybe we ought to go
out to dinner tomorrow night?

That way, we can go to the
game early and beat the traffic.

Yeah. Hey, that'll
work out great.

Then we can get there
in time for batting practice.

Uh-huh.

Hey, Beav, how about
putting up the shade?

It's getting kind
of dark in here.

I don't see your
arm in any sling.

What?

I said, "I don't see
your arm in any sling."

Look, Beaver, don't
make a big deal out of it.

I just asked you
to raise the shade.

You're standing
right next to it.

I'm busy.

Hey, what's eating you
anyway? Are you sore

about not going to the
game tomorrow night?

Who'd want to go to a
dumb, creepy, sappy game

except a dumb,
creepy sap like you?

I'm telling you, Mom, Beaver's
all shook up about something.

This afternoon, I saw him
walking home from school,

and I offered him a ride.

He told me to... To what?

He... He said he'd rather walk.

Well, he has been
rather moody lately.

I wonder what he's
all shook up about.

I think it's about not going
to that ball game tonight.

Oh, well, Wally, you father explained
to him he couldn't get another ticket.

Yeah, I know, Mom,
but Beaver's just a kid.

He doesn't rationalize
things the same way we do.

Oh. He doesn't?

No. You see, a kid his age

has a tendency
to be self-centered.

If things don't go his way,
they build it out of proportion.

They feel that their
parents, their teachers,

and well, the whole
adult world's against them.

Wally, where'd you
get all those theories?

In our psychology book,
we got two whole chapters

on child psychology.

You know, I've been
studying the Beaver,

and he's acting just like
some of those kids in the book.

He is?

Yeah. He's just as
kooky as they are.

Ward?

No, it's only me, Mom.
Are you disappointed?

Oh, Beaver, come on
now. Don't be like that.

I thought it was your
father because he's

coming home early to
go to the game tonight.

Yeah, I know.

Beaver... Beaver, you know that
movie you were going to with Gilbert?

Would you like
me to go with you?

No, Mom. I wouldn't want you to spoil
your whole evening on account of me.

Beaver, why would it
spoil my whole evening?

Being with me would
spoil anybody's evening.

♪♪

♪♪

And now for some
late sports flashes.

As you baseball fans know,

tonight's game should provide
plenty of thrills for the capacity crowd.

Those of you fortunate
enough to have tickets

should be viewing one of the
best contests of the current season.

Relying on power hitting
and his ace pitcher, manager...

Hey, Beaver.

Beaver, you still out there?

Yeah, I'm still out here.

Hey, look, there's no towels in
here. Would you get me one?

Get it yourself.

Look, I just got out of the
shower. I'll get pneumonia.

Who do you think I
am, the Blue Cross?

Look, Beaver, I've had
just about enough out of you.

You're just sore 'cause Dad's
taking me to the ball game tonight.

That's it, isn't it?

It's not only that,
it's a lot of things.

A lot of things? Like what?

You know like what.

What like what?

Come on. Let's have it.

I'm not putting up
with this junk anymore.

Now, what's gnawing on you?

It's just that I always get
the worst of everything.

Well, you're the favorite.

Oh, brother.

You know it's true.

I'm left out of everything
just 'cause I'm the youngest.

- Oh, sure.
- Well, it is true.

You got a bike before I did, and
you got ice skates, and you even got...

Look, Beaver, will you quit
squawking about being the youngest?

How about all the stuff I had
to do because I was the oldest?

What do you mean?

Well, like, uh... Well, like
when you were a little baby.

All kinds of people used
to come around and say,

"Aw, isn't he the cutest
thing you've ever seen?

Isn't he a little darling?"

I had to stand there
and listen to that junk.

I'm telling you, Beaver,
it was sickening.

Wasn't I even cute?

Look, they told me they were
bringing me home a nice little brother

from the hospital
that I could play with.

The first time I looked
at you in the crib,

you spit milk all over me.

Boy, that must've
been something.

And then I had to watch Mom
and Dad make a big fuss over you.

And then when you got
older, I had to watch you

to make sure you
didn't wreck yourself.

And I had to set a good example
for you and all kinds of junk.

So don't go coming around here saying
you got a bad deal on the baseball game.

But, gee, Wally, I was bragging
to all my friends how I was going,

and it is the neatest
game of the whole season.

How would you like it if your
brother was going and you weren't?

All right, Beaver.
I'll leave it up to you.

You make up your own mind.
If you want to go, I'll stay home.

But, gee, Wally...

You've got exactly five
seconds to make up your mind.

We'll see who's
selfish around here.

- Hey, Dad.
- Oh, hi, Beaver.

Is Wally about ready?

Oh, Wally's not going to the
game. I'm going with you instead.

You're going?
Whose idea is this?

Well, Wally said I
could go in his place.

I'll go upstairs
and get ready, Dad.

Well, what do you suppose
brought all this about?

They were fighting about the game, but I
don't know why Wally would change his mind.

I think I better talk to Wally.

Wally! Wally!

Somehow this just doesn't
sound quite right to me.

Mmm.

- Did you want something, Dad?
- Yeah.

What's this I hear about your
not going to the game tonight?

Oh, well, I... I just
changed my mind.

But you were so anxious to go.

Well, yeah, I
know, Dad, but, um,

well, Eddie sort of wanted me
to come over to his house tonight,

and he's sort of
been counting on me,

and, well, I think it'd be
better if Beaver went anyway.

All right. If that's
the way you want it.

Now, why do you suppose
he changed his mind?

Well, Wally's been
studying child psychology.

Maybe he's doing a little
homework on Beaver.

- Hi, Wally.
- Hi, Mom.

Say, did Beaver and Dad get
home from the ball game yet?

Not yet. Did you have a
good time over at Eddie's?

We listened to some
records for a while,

and then we played a game of
Monopoly with Eddie's mom and dad.

And then about 9:30, Eddie
accused his father of cheating.

Accused his father of cheating?

Yeah. It got kind
of embarrassing,

so I went over to the drive-in,
had a pizza and came on home.

Well, it doesn't sound
like too exciting an evening.

I guess it was okay.

You know, Wally, I think
it was very nice of you

to let Beaver go to that
ball game in your place.

Yeah, well, I didn't
exactly let him go.

You see, we had this argument,
and I gave him his choice.

I never thought
he'd take me up on it.

At least now I know what kind
of a rat I've got for a brother.

Wally.

Don't say that about Beaver.

Gee, Mom, you
should've heard him.

He gave me this
big, long sob story

about how he's always
getting kicked around

on account of
being the youngest.

I tried psychology on him, and
I thought I had him convinced.

But at the last minute, he
double-crossed me and went to the game.

You know, those psychologists
are sure stealing the money.

Oh, hi.

Hey, how was the
ball game? Who won?

Uh, we did, and it
was a real good game.

Ward, I think you better
get Beaver down here.

He was very selfish about going
to that game instead of Wally,

and I think you
should straighten it out.

Well, it's already
straightened out.

As soon as we took our seats,
Beaver's conscience caught up with him.

I've never seen anyone as
miserable at a baseball game.

Why, even when Saunders hit
one over the center field fence

to win the game, he didn't e...

Here, Wally.

Well, what's this?

I managed to cop a foul ball.

Gee, thanks, Beav. Thanks a lot.

Hey, my bed's already made.

Yeah, I made it for you.

Well, thanks a lot, Beav.

And I also picked up all your
clothes off the bathroom floor

so Mom won't get after you.

Well, thanks, Beav, but, look,
you don't have to overdo it.

I'm not sore at you anymore.

Hey, what happened
to my baseball glove?

Why, I oiled it for you,
just like the big leaguers do.

Yeah, and how
you oiled it for me.

Beaver, this won't
dry out for a week.

Yeah, well, the oil wasn't
coming out so good,

so I took the top off,
and it kind of spilled out.

What a mess.

Hey, look, Beaver, will
you just do me a favor?

Well, sure. What?

Will you stop being nice to me

and just go back to
being a little creep?

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA