Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 6, Episode 23 - Box Office Attraction - full transcript

Wally is smitten by a pretty young lady named Marlene, who works the ticket counter at the movie theater. With some help from Eddie, Wally summons the courage to ask Marlene out. But on date night, Wally sees another side to the woman that makes him realize she's no "box office attraction."

Starring...

and...

Mom, can I be excused?

Eddie Haskell and I
are going to the movies,

and I'd like to go
up and get ready.

I guess so.

Oh, a movie on a
Saturday afternoon?

I thought you gave that up
when you started high school.

Well, they have
this good picture

down at the Madison,

and Eddie and I just
decided to go. That's all.



If Eddie shows up, tell him
to come on upstairs, okay?

All right.

Beaver, didn't Wally just go

to the Madison
Theater last night?

Yeah, that's right.

I wonder if it's
the same picture.

It's the same picture.

Well, why would
he go twice in a row?

'Cause he's in love with
the girl in the box office.

What?

I heard Wally and Eddie talking.

Wally's really flipped for her.

Boy, Beaver, what did
you drag me down here for?

This looks like the
kind of crummy movie



that'll be on television
in six months.

We didn't come down here
to see the movie, Gilbert.

We're going to wait for Wally
to come and start acting goofy

over the girl who
sells the tickets.

Oh, that's different.

That sounds a lot
better than the picture.

Yeah.

Hey, look, here
comes Wally and Eddie.

Come on.

Look, Mr. Peepers,
all you have to do

is go up to her and say
"Hi, how about a date?"

Eddie, you don't do it
that way with a girl like her.

What's so different about her?

Well, golly, she's...
Well, the way she...

She's just different.
Can't you see?

Come on. I'll set it up for you.

Wait a minute, Eddie.

I'll handle it myself.

Good. Now, what are
you going to say to her?

Well, I'll... I'll just
walk up there,

and I'll say, "Hi,
I'm Wally Cleaver,

"and I've been watching
you for a couple of weeks

and I'd like to have a
date. How about it?"

Now you're operating.

Get in there and
pitch, lover boy.

Hey, what's Wally going to do?

I don't know, but he's walking

like he's going to
the electric chair.

How many, please?

Um, my name's, uh...

I mean, uh, would you, uh...

That is... One.

You're a pitiful case, junior.

I'll get a date for you.

Hey, now, watch it, Eddie.

I don't want you wrecking
everything for me.

Well, what happened?

Wally chickened out,
and Eddie's taking over.

- Hi.
- How many, please?

What are you doing
out here, Miss?

The leading lady's supposed
to be in on the screen,

not out in the box office.

How many, please?

Brr, baby, it's cold out here.

Then why did you
leave your basinet?

Aha, I've broken the ice.

Uh, now that we're old buddies,

there's something
I'd like to tell you.

There's something
I'd like to tell you, too.

Yeah?

The bunny rabbit cartoon
starts in three minutes.

Funny, funny.

Look, see my buddy over there?

That cute boy is with you?

Yeah, he's panting to meet you.

Tell me, what time
you get off work?

4:30 I have to work, but I...

How many, please?

But I thought you were...

One, please.

Well, how did you
make out, Eddie?

She wants us both to
hang around till 4:30.

That's when she gets off.

Well, what are we
going to do till then?

Well, we got the tickets.
Let's go see the show.

Eddie, I saw it last night.

It's the worst movie
I've ever seen.

Listen, if you're going to
be a lover, you got to suffer.

"Teenagers Elope Over Weekend"

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did read that.

Well, aren't you worried?

- About what?
- Wally.

Oh, now, June, Wally's
not going to elope.

Well, I don't know. This
morning Beaver said

that he was very taken

with this girl in
the box office.

Well, Wally's been
taken with lots of girls.

It's quite normal.

Yes, but they were
girls from school

or girls he'd been
introduced to.

I don't like the idea of him
hanging around a theater,

picking up girls.

Well, June, we don't know
that he's picked her up

or that he's even talked to her.

Well, I'd still like to know
what kind of a girl she is.

All right, I'll tell you what.

We'll go to the movies
tonight and spy on her.

I'll wear a long, black
beard, and you can...

Oh, Ward, please.

Look, this girl is working,

and therefore, she
must be out of school

and older than Wally.

She might even be a divorcée.

June, I think we
ought to take you off

that second section for a while.

Seems to be more
than you can handle.

Hey, Eddie,
she's still in there.

Let's go. I got it
all set up for you.

But Eddie, I think if... Go on.

Uh, meet Wally Cleaver.

I'll see you in the car, Rodney.

Hi, Wally. I'm Marlene Holmes.

Oh, hi, Marlene.

Hi.

How did you like the show?

Oh, well, how did you like it?

Well, I think it's one of the
worst movies we've ever shown.

So do I.

I just didn't want
to insult you.

I saw it last Saturday.

I get every other Saturday off.

Oh, well, do you get the
whole day next Saturday off?

I mean, counting Saturday night?

Yes, I do, Wally.

Yeah?

Um, well, um,
would you like to...

I mean, uh, how about if...

Wally, I'd love to.

Gee, that would be great.

Could I drive you home now?

Oh, well, thanks,

but I have some shopping
to do with my aunt.

Oh, sure, well, that's fine.

Well, I'll see you
next Saturday then.

Wally.

Huh?

My number's in the book.

Oh, yeah. Sure.

Hey, Beaver, let's
wait here awhile.

How come?

To watch people come out.

Some of them walk
and talk real funny.

I don't think they're
funny. I think they're sad.

Yeah, I guess so.

There's nothing sadder

than seeing old
people try to be happy.

Hey, Beav, look.

At what?

It's that girl from the movies

that your brother's
got a crush on.

Gee, it is, and
she's drinking beer.

And smoking a cigarette.

You know what she is?

What?

She's what they call
a woman of the world.

Yeah, and my
brother's in love with her.

Boy, look at her.

And she looked
so sweet and pretty

while she was selling tickets.

Yeah.

You know, Gilbert,
this is just like

when I was a little
kid watching television

and I found out there
was four Lassies.

Yeah, Mom, her name's Marlene,

and next Saturday
I've got a date with her

'cause she gets every
other Saturday off.

A date?

Now, look, Wally, I don't
like you going around,

picking up strange girls.

Gee, Mom, I didn't pick her
up. Eddie picked her up for me.

What?

Well, I mean, he
introduced me to her.

Oh, she's a friend of Eddie's.

Well, yeah, he knew her an
hour and a half before I did.

Now, look, Ward,
we just can't let Wally

go out with this older
woman he picked up.

Oh, dear, we don't know
that she's an older woman.

Anyway, he obviously likes
her. He's made a date with her.

I think we have
to go along with it.

Oh, I'm willing to
go along with it.

I'd like to meet her first.

Well, now, just how
are you going to do that?

I'm going to have
Wally ask her for dinner

on Saturday night
before they go out.

Well, that may sound
like a great idea to you,

but when you
mention it to our son,

he's going to go right
through the ceiling.

Wally!

What is it, Mom?

Well, I was thinking
it would be nice

if you invited your
friend Marilyn...

Marlene.

If you invited your
friend Marlene over

for an early dinner
Saturday night

before you go out.

Well, gee, that would be
neat. She's a real nice girl.

I'd like you and
Dad to meet her.

Thanks a lot. I'll
go call her now.

Well, did he go
through the ceiling?

No.

That boy worries me.

Yeah, Marlene, I've been trying

to get ahold of
you all afternoon.

Well, yeah. Yeah, I
know how shopping is.

Well, look, what I was wondering

was if you'd like to come
over here and have dinner

Saturday night before we go out.

How come?

Well, uh... Well, I'd like
you to meet my parents,

and anyway, we're
having roast beef.

About 6:00 would be fine.

Hey, Wally, guess what
Gilbert and I saw downtown.

Yeah, Marlene. Yeah,
I can hardly wait, either.

Uh-huh.

Good-bye.

Hey, Wally,
Gilbert and I just...

Was that that box office
girl you were talking to?

Yeah, and I got a date with
her for next Saturday night,

and she's coming
over here for dinner.

- Well, look, Wally...
- You look.

Now, I don't want you making
any wise cracks Saturday night

because she's one
of the nicest girls

I've ever met in my whole life.

Now, what was it
you wanted to tell me

about you and Gilbert?

You came rushing in
here like it was important.

Oh, well, I just
wanted to ask you...

When are they going to hold
the Winter Olympics this year?

No fooling, Beaver?
The girl from the box office

is coming over to
your house for supper?

Yeah, and she's coming tonight.

Boy, what's your mom going to
do if she asks for a glass of beer?

I don't know,

but I hope I'm
around if she does.

Did you tell Wally that
we saw her in that place

with that guy in
the leather jacket?

Well, no. Well, I was going to,

but then he was talking
to her on the telephone.

And he had such a
goofy look on his face,

I was afraid if I told him,
he'd go ape or something.

Did Wally go to
pick up Marlene yet?

Yeah, he left half an hour ago.

Did he say where she lived?

Mm-hmm, she lives

over on Jutson
street with her aunt.

Why doesn't she live
with her mother and father?

Well, I think Wally said
her parents live in California.

What's wrong with that?

Nothing.

Just wish it was Ohio
or some place like that.

Now, June.

Gee, Wally, I didn't know

you lived in such a
swanky neighborhood.

Oh, gee, neither did I.

Oh, Mom, Dad, this
is Marlene Holmes.

Hi, how do you do?

- Hello, Marlene.
- How do you do?

Good to meet you.

Gee, this is a nice
house you have here.

It's so... It's so luxurious.

Oh, yeah, and this is
my brother, Theodore.

Hello, Theodore.
How nice to meet you.

I've seen you before.

Oh? At the theater?

Yeah, at the theater and around.

Well, if you'll excuse me,

I'll have dinner ready
in just a moment.

Oh, Mrs. Cleaver,
can I help you?

I bet your kitchen
is real luxurious, too.

Well, that's very nice of you,

but I just have to put
things on the table.

Are you a lawyer, Mr. Cleaver?

No, I'm not. Why?

I don't know.

This just looks like
the kind of a house

a lawyer would live in.

I'll show you
the rest of it later

if you'd like to see it.

I'd love to, Wally.

Hey, Wally, if you show
her the rest of the house,

you better skip our room.

Your dirty socks
are still on the floor.

Beaver.

Marlene,

would you like milk
or tea with your meal?

Oh, milk, please.

Well, come on. I
guess you can sit down.

Yeah, come on.

Of course, I miss my
mother and father very much,

but my aunt is a
wonderful person.

She's very strict with me.

Most nights she comes down,

and she walks me
home from the theater.

She hardly ever lets
me go anywhere alone.

Did she walk you home
last Saturday, Miss Holmes?

Oh, no, as a matter of fact,
she worked all day Saturday.

Uh, well, no, she didn't.
You went shopping with her.

That's right. We're making
new curtains for my bedroom.

Marlene, are you planning
to keep on working,

or are you going to college?

Well, everyone
says I've very artistic,

so I thought I'd take up

interior decorating
at night school.

Yeah, we have a
guy in our school

who takes welding at night.

Would you like some
more ice cream, Marlene?

Oh, no, thank you.

Well, I think we
better get going.

What are your plans, son?

Yeah, where are
you going tonight?

Oh, I don't know.

I thought we might take
in a show or something.

Oh, could I help you with
the dishes, Mrs. Cleaver?

Oh, no, thank you. You
two want to run along.

Well, thank you very
much for a lovely dinner.

It was nice meeting
you, Mr. Cleaver.

Very nice meeting you, Marlene.

Well, what did you think of her?

I don't know.

That eye shadow
was awfully thick,

and her lipstick wasn't
what you'd call restrained.

Well, I thought she
was sort of attractive.

Hmm, she doesn't
seem like the kind of a girl

who'd study designing at night.

Well, thank you, Beaver.

Well, you can run along
now and look at television.

Well, but I... Run
along, Beaver.

June, don't you think

you're being super
critical of this girl?

What do you mean?

I'll bet you wouldn't
think a thing about it

if her parents didn't
live in California.

Wally?

Oh, no, thanks.

I'm sort of in training.

Oh, boy, did I need that.

You did?

Yeah, for a while there,

I didn't know if I
was going to get by.

Get by?

With your parents.

I think it was that
bit about studying

interior decorating
at night school

that really swung it.

Oh, you mean you're not really
going to go to night school?

Of course not.

I just wanted your
parents to like me.

It was the whole reason

of putting me through
that line-up, wasn't it?

Well, yeah, I...
Yeah, I guess so.

Wally, stop here.

What about the show?

Wally just stop.

- Stop?
- Yeah.

Now that your parents like
me, I want you to like me, too.

Golly.

Is something wrong?

Well, no.

Well, I mean... Well,
I was just thinking

the show might
be sort of crowded.

Who wants to go to the show?

Well... Well, I thought that's
where you wanted to go.

I've got better ideas. Let's go.

Turn right when
you get to Hudson.

Well, where are we going?

You'll see.

You saw Marlene where?

In a beer joint.

When was this?

About a week ago.

And she was with this
real tough-looking guy.

And they were smoking
and drinking beer

just like in one of those
television commercials.

Well, Beaver, why didn't you
say something about this before?

I don't know.

I didn't want to
make Wally feel bad.

And then I got to thinking

about him falling
for a girl like this,

and I figured I
better tell somebody.

Well, thank you, Beaver.

Okay.

I hope I'm not being
a rat or anything.

I'm sorry I was being
super critical of the girl.

All right, maybe I wasn't
being critical enough.

Well, you don't suppose
she and Wally will end up

in a beer joint tonight, do you?

Oh, of course not.
Wally's under age.

Anyway, he's just not the type.

Come on, Wally.

Hank's? You mean
we're going in there?

Well, sure, it's
a real fun place.

Come on.

Hi.

This one's nice a cozy.

Well, come on, Wally. Sit down.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.

It's neat, huh?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, real neat.

Hi, Marlene. Draw two?

Draw two.

Coming right up.

Oh, no, no, thanks.

What's this training bit?

Oh, well, I'm on
the track team and...

You're still in school?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm a senior.

Uh, I'll be going to
college next year.

I dropped out of
school three years ago.

I just had it.

There we are.
50 cents for these.

Hey, Marlene, got
those new records

put in the jukebox that
you've been asking about.

Thanks, Hank.

Pay him, Wally.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

All right, holler
when you're dry, huh?

Is something wrong, Wally?

I mean, you're acting so funny.

Oh, no. No, everything's fine.

Well, come on. Drink up.

Uh, look, Marlene...

Mm-hmm, the track team.
Coachy might find out.

Hey, old buddy,

okay if I give it a
whirl with Marlene?

Hey, Wally, this is Gus.
He likes to dance, okay?

Yeah, sure.

Thanks, Marlene.

Mm-hmm.

It's a real jumping
place, huh, Wally?

Uh, yeah. Yeah,
it's real jumping.

Wait till you see the Red Top.

I thought we'd make
the rounds tonight.

You know, the Birdcage,
the Green Door, Monahan's...

Marlene, uh...

Wally, we're just
starting to have fun.

Get with it. What's the matter?

Well, it's just that you
know everybody in here.

I feel kind of out of place.

Afraid your father
might find out

you were in a beer joint?

Well, I don't know.

Well, I told him we
were going to the show.

Look, Wally, why don't
you just run along, huh?

You mean, and leave you here?

I'll be all right.

Look, I thought we were
going to dig each other,

but it just didn't work out.

Just run along. I'll
get home all right.

Yeah, well, okay, if...

If that's the way you want it.

I'll probably be
seeing you around.

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Hey, Charlie.

Put another dime
in the machine, huh?

Wally?

Hi.

Well, you're home early.

Yeah, I guess so.

Didn't you go to the show?

Uh, no.

Well, where's Marlene.
Did you take her home?

Well, no, I sort of
left her some place.

You just left her some place?

Well, she'll be okay, Dad.

I guess we... we just
didn't dig each other.

Well, good night, Mom, Dad.

Ward, what do you
suppose happened?

As Wally said, I guess they
just didn't dig each other.

Well, honey, don't you
think we ought to go upstairs

and at least say something
to Wally about Marlene?

Well, dear, judging by
the look on Wally's face,

I don't think there's much
left to be said about Marlene.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA