Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 6, Episode 20 - The Credit Card - full transcript

Starring...

and...

"Edward W. Haskell

175 Grant Avenue, Mayfield."

It's just like having
a key to Fort Knox.

How come a big oil company
trusts a creep like you?

Pull, Charlie. Pull.

Knowing the right people.

Plus the fact that his father
had to sign for the card.

He had to guarantee that
all the bills would be paid.

Boy, Eddie, I'm sure
glad I'm not your father.



What do you got? A
long-playing mouth?

All right, Eddie, so
you've got a credit card.

So what?

So I've arrived, that's what.

What other handsome,
clean-cut American youth in our set

has his own credit card?

Wally could have
his own credit card

if he wanted to.

Aw, go on. The way your
parents baby you two?

Junior here's the only
kid in the eight grade

that still rides a tricycle.

Come on, Eddie. Knock it off

before I belt you
one right in the nose.

Listen, Gertrude,
don't get sore at me



just because your
father doesn't trust you.

What do you mean
he doesn't trust me?

All right, Wally, if he
trusts you so much,

let's see you come up with
a credit card of your own.

Our father would get him
one if Wally asked him.

All right, Wally,
go ahead. Ask him.

All right. All right, I will,

but I'll ask him sometime
when you're not around.

Well, how come?

Because you're the kind
of guy that could kill the deal

just by being in the house.

I'm sorry, Wally. It's
just out of the question.

But gee, Dad, why?

Because a credit card

is too big a responsibility
for a boy your age.

Gosh, Eddie Haskell's got one.

And he's got his
own dinner jacket

and his own phone in his room.

That Eddie's ahead
of me in everything.

Is he ahead of
you in school work?

No, just in the things
that are important.

You don't think school
work is important?

Well, I didn't mean it to
come out that way, Dad.

It just did.

Gosh, Dad, I don't see why
I can't have a credit card.

Wally, give me just one reason

besides competing
with Eddie Haskell

why you should
have a credit card.

Well, um...

Well, like, tomorrow, I
promised a bunch of the guys

that I'd take them up to
Lynbrook to watch the playoffs.

We'll be meeting one
of the teams in the finals.

And you don't have
money for the gas?

Well, no, and I figured if
I had my own credit card,

I could buy the gas

and then pay it back
at the end of the month.

Well, that sounds fine,

but suppose the end
of the month comes

and you've charged a lot of gas

and you don't have the
money to pay for it. What then?

It would be tough luck
for the gasoline company.

Oh, no, it wouldn't.

It would be tough
luck for Wally.

His credit wouldn't be any
good anywhere from then on.

But gee, Dad...

I'm sorry, son. Now,
you get an allowance,

and I think you better just
go on paying your own way.

Credit isn't something
your father should give you.

It's something you
should earn for yourself.

Yes, sir.

You boys want to get
your desserts now?

Okay, Mom.

Ward, aren't you being
a little harsh on Wally?

After all, he's always shown
a good sense of responsibility

with his car and with money.

Well, that's because
we've never given him

more responsibility
than he could handle.

Dear, there are thousands

of adults who can't
handle credit cards.

I don't think we can expect

the average teenager
to do any better.

Oh, yes, Ward, but
our Wally is different.

Now, June, you want to
watch that kind of thinking.

I'm sure John Dillinger's
mother said the same thing.

Mom?

I'm going to leave
now. Lumpy's here.

All right, dear. What
time do you think

you'll be back from Lynbrook?

Right after the game in
plenty of time for dinner.

Beaver says we're
having roast beef.

Yes, he came down earlier

and made a reconnaissance
flight through the kitchen.

Okay, I'll see you.

All right, honey.
Have a good time.

Come on, Sam. Let's get with it.

- Hey, wait a minute, guys.
- What's the matter?

Well, I don't want to look
like a cheapskate or anything.

Go ahead. Look
like a cheapskate.

Well, how come we're
always taking my car?

He's got a good question,
Lump. Let's go in your heap.

We can't take mine.

After a couple of miles,
the radiator boils over.

I forgot about that.

The other night we
drove down to the beach,

and it started spouting.

People thought Moby
Dick had washed ashore.

Hey, Eddie, why
don't we take yours?

We can't take mine.

How come?

'Cause I made a
deal with my father.

When he let me
have the credit card,

he said I couldn't take
the car our of town.

Okay, okay, we'll take mine,

but you guys got
to chip in for the gas.

Sure, a quarter a
piece ought to do it.

Wait a minute. How
about getting back?

We'll worry about that later.

Boy, you're sure serious

about scouting those
two teams, aren't you?

Who's scouting the teams?
These are for the majorettes.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, honey.

How was the movie?

It was okay.

You don't sound very enthused.

No, well, in the end,
the good guy got killed.

That seems to
be the trend today,

to kill off the good guys.

Yeah, and the
bad guy got the girl.

Well, that doesn't seem right.

No, but it worked out okay.

They both got jungle
fever and croaked.

Oh, well, it sounds like a
very pleasant afternoon.

Yeah, there was a lot of
good dying in that movie.

Wally home yet?

No, honey, not yet.

I hope he gets here
in time for dinner.

He will.

Oh?

Yeah, we're having roast beef.

If we were having
liver or something,

he'd come in late and say,

"Us guys got hungry, so
we stopped for hamburgers."

Those were two pretty
good teams, huh, Wally?

Yeah, but I think
we can take them.

Sure, we'll wipe them.

Did you take notes like
the coach said, Eddie?

I did.

The head cheerleader is
17, and her name is Sandra.

All right, you guys, get
out and give me a shove.

All right.

Great, and he's the guy
that insisted we take his car.

You out of gas, boys?

No, I think the battery's low.

How much is a quick charge?

All depends. Let's check it out.

Quick charges don't cost
much. I get them every week.

Uh, this won't take a
charge. It's completely dead.

Dead?

You heard the man.

Want me to put in a
new battery for you?

Well, I don't know. How
much would one cost?

Well, the cheapest one I got

will run you around
$15 including tax.

$15, huh?

How much have
you guys got on you?

Cash?

45 cents.

Just a couple of bucks.

All I've got is about $3.50.

You want the battery?

Well, sure I do, but...

Would you put the
battery in for the lad, sir?

Eddie, what are
you talking about?

You forgot about
this little gem.

I have a credit card for
your establishment, sir.

Uh?

You're Edward W. Haskell?

That's right.

We'll take the $15 battery.

Hey, Eddie, wait a minute.

Maybe I ought to
call my dad first.

Well, what good will
it do to call your dad?

You're going to have to
get the battery anyway.

If you ask him to drive
all the way out here,

he's going to get sore at
you for asking him a favor.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Okay, Eddie, I'll pay you back

out of the dough I got saved
up at home for my seat covers.

No hurry, Elwood.

I won't even
charge you interest.

Could we get that
installed right away, sir?

Yeah, could I have
your signature?

Sure.

I'll put the battery
in right away.

Wally, if you were
going to be this late,

you should've called us.

Yeah, I know, Mom. I'm sorry,

but we had a little trouble.

What kind of trouble?

Don't be too upset

with your son,
Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver,

but we had a very unfortunate
experience on the highway.

Oh?

Yeah, my battery conked out.

You mean you pushed the car
all the way home from Lynbrook?

If I hadn't have
come to the rescue,

we might still have
been stuck there.

You came to the rescue?

Well, I bought Wallace

a new battery
with my credit card.

Oh, Wally, I don't like this.

Well, gee, I was on the spot.

Well, how are you
going to pay Eddie back?

Out of the money I was
saving up for my seat covers.

Come on, Eddie.

Eddie, would you
care to stay for dinner?

We're having roast beef.

Oh, no, thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.
I really must be getting home.

We're having squab this evening.

You know, Dad, if Wally
had his own credit card,

he wouldn't have to
depend on Eddie like that.

Yes, and if Wally had
checked his battery,

he wouldn't have to
depend on Eddie, either.

Yeah, I guess it's all
in the way you look at it.

13, 14, 15.

There you go, Eddie.

Okay, my friend.

Hey, now, don't forget
to give that to your father.

Of course, what did you
think I'd do with 15 bucks?

Elope with Tuesday Well?

Hey, Eddie, look.

Get a load of that wild vest.

Yeah, that's for
me. I think I'll buy it.

Right now?

Well, why not?

Oh, you mean on your
service station credit card.

Will you stop on the barrel.

But isn't that the
money Wally gave to you

to give to your father for
the battery you charged?

So what? I got plenty of time
to come up with the dough

before the bill comes
in from the oil company.

Yeah, I still have
enough for a baseball bat.

A baseball bat?

Well, you don't think I'm going to
wear that vest around the women

without carrying some
protection, do you?

All right, now, Beav,
don't let that spring pop out.

I'm almost finished.

You know, Wally, you're
pretty good at sewing.

Maybe you'll grow up
to be a famous surgeon.

Nah, you got to sew people
up a lot neater than this.

Yeah, but people
might be easier.

They don't have
any springs in them.

You know, Wally, it was
tough having to give Eddie

that $15 you were going
to use for seat covers.

Yeah, but it was fair. He
got me the battery, didn't he?

Yeah, but with Eddie,
even when it's fair

it always seems like
he's coming out ahead.

Hey, Wally, how about
driving me and Gilbert

down to the malt shop?

Oh, gee, Beav, I don't
have any money for gas.

Anyway, it's only
a couple of blocks.

Well, I'll buy you
a gallon of gas.

It'll be worth 32 cents to
ride around like big shots.

- Edward?
- Yes, Mom?

Don't be late. We're going
to have an early dinner.

Oh, I won't.

Clarence and I are just
going over to the library.

We're working on
a project for school.

Where to?

Mary Ellen Rogers's house.

That's where all the
chicks are this afternoon.

Edward?

He's not here, George.

He and Clarence
went to the library.

What's he done now?

I warned that boy just to use
his credit card for gas and oil,

and here he's gone
and bought a $15 battery.

If he has a new battery, I
can't understand why he had

to push his car to get
it started this morning.

Edward was pushing his car?

Well, he wasn't pushing.

The neighborhood girls were
pushing. He was steering.

Well, we'll just see about this.

The Ordin Service Station.

Uh, this is Mr. Haskell.
George Haskell.

My monthly statement, which
came from your main office,

shows a battery
charged to my account,

and according to
the duplicate receipt,

it was purchased at your
station there in Lynbrook,

and signed for by my
son, Edward Haskell.

Edward Haskell?

Ah, yes, I do recall him.

Your son is a... Well, I
mean, he's sort of a...

You have the right boy.

But as far as I can determine,

that new battery was never
installed in my son's car.

That's right, sir.

I remember there were
two other boys with your son.

The battery went into a
car owned by one of them.

Your son signed for it, though.

I see.

Uh, could you tell me
what the car looked like?

Thank you.

Which one of Edward's friends

has a beat-up green convertible?

Green?

Couldn't be Clarence's.
His is sickly purple.

It's that Cleaver boy. Wally.

That's right. He came by

to pick up Edward the other day.

Hello?

Oh, hi, George.

Yes, I know about the battery.

Why, George, Wally gave
Eddie the $15 for the battery

the same day he got it.

Well, Eddie was
supposed to reimburse you.

Ward, nobody has
reimbursed me with anything.

Did you actually see Wally
give Eddie the money?

Well, no, but I naturally
assumed it was paid.

Ward, we're dealing
with teenagers here.

You can't assume anything.

Uh, George, I'm sure
that Wally repaid Eddie.

Then why didn't Eddie
give me the money?

Well, I don't know, George.

I think you better talk
to Eddie about that.

Well, I think you
ought to talk to Wally.

I intend to, George.
Thank you for calling.

Wally? Wally?

Wally's not home yet, dear.

What's the matter?

You know that $15 that Wally

was supposed to give
Eddie for the battery?

Well, Mr. Haskell
never received it.

Boy, there's some funny business
going around here some place.

Beaver, what are you doing
coming in here and listening?

Well, gee, Dad, I
was here all the time.

Oh. Well, go on out.

Yes, sir.

Ward, I'm sure Wally
gave Eddie that $15.

Well, I'm sure
he did, too, June,

but the thing that
upsets me is Wally using

someone else's credit
card in the first place,

and in the second place,

for getting into a deal
like this with Eddie

and putting me in a position
where someone can call me up

and imply that my
son is dishonest.

Hey, Wally, Dad wants
to see you right away,

but I wouldn't be in a
hurry about coming in.

Well, what's wrong.

Did you pay Eddie the
$15 for your battery?

Well, sure, I paid him.

Well, he didn't give
the money to his father

'cause his father
just called up Dad,

and now everybody's sore.

You mean, Eddie
never paid his father?

No, and Dad's so mad at
you, he was even yelling at me.

Where are you going, Wally?

Over to Lumpy's.

I just saw he and Eddie
standing out in front.

Hey, can I go with you?

I'd like to see Eddie
get punched in the nose.

You better stay here.

Hey, tell Dad I'll
be right back, okay?

Okay, Wally.

What do you say, Stella?

Eddie, what did you do

with the money I gave
you for the battery?

The money?

Where do you think he
got that vest he's wearing?

You mean, you blew it on that?

Pretty swanky, huh?

They say it brings out
the Peter Lawford in me.

Eddie, you rat.

Don't get so excited.

I'll hustle up the money by
the time the bill shows up.

You're too late. It
already showed up today.

It showed up today?

Yeah, your dad just got
through talking to my dad.

That was a pretty
sneaky thing to do.

Look, I'm going to
give you a choice...

Either I'm going to
mop up the street

with you and that crummy vest,

or else I'm going to
go over to your house

and tell your dad
the whole thing.

Well, let's not be hasty.

I can still come
up with the money.

Aw, come on. Quit the stalling.

I'm just going to go over

and tell your father
the whole works.

Wait a minute, Wally.
You don't want to do that.

My pop will clobber me.

Tough.

Look, just give me
till tomorrow, okay?

I'm not giving
you till tomorrow.

Well, then give
me till 7:00 tonight.

I can have the money by then

and have everything
straightened out.

How about it? 7:00?

Okay. Okay, 7:00,
but that's the deadline.

Sure.

Well, sure, Dad, I
gave Eddie the $15

as soon as we got
back from Lynbrook.

He just didn't
give it to his father.

Well, I figured that,

but I just want you
to call Mr. Haskell

and tell him exactly
what happened.

Well, gee, Dad, would it be
okay if we waited a little while?

I kind of promised Eddie

I'd give him until 7:00
tonight to pay his father back.

I think you should
straighten this out right away.

Look, Wally, I told you
how I felt about credit cards,

and you had no
business getting yourself

in a spot like this. Now, I
don't want you ever again

to use someone
else's credit card.

Yes, sir.

What if Eddie tells his father

that you never
gave him the money?

Oh, well, gee, Eddie
wouldn't do a thing like that.

He's not that kind of guy.

He just wouldn't.

Yeah, I guess maybe he would.

I'm going to call
Mr. Haskell right now.

Wait a minute. Maybe
that's Eddie now.

Oh, it's you.

Boy, you sound like I was a
case of the virus or something.

I'm sorry, Lumpy. Come on in.

That's a fine way to greet a
guy who's got good news for you.

What good news?

Oh, hello, Mr. Cleaver,
Mrs. Cleaver.

- Hello, Clarence.
- Hello, Clarence.

Well, Eddie paid
his dad the 15 bucks,

and everything is okay.

Well, that's a
relief, isn't it, Ward?

It certainly is.

Hey, Lump, come on
up to the room a minute.

What for?

Well, it's got something
to do with school.

Well, what about school?

Just come on up. I'll show you.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Where do you suppose
Eddie got the $15?

You know, I got a
feeling I'd rather not know.

All right, Lump, how
did Eddie get the $15?

Well, it was the good
old credit card again.

Yeah?

Yeah, Eddie knew
that Fred Cousins

was looking for a new tire,

so he went out and got
one on his credit card for $25,

and sold it to Fred for 15.

Then he gave the $15 to his dad,

and now you're off the
hook and Eddie's in the clear.

Boy, and he's the guy
who flunked geometry twice.

What do you mean?

That's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard of.

Well, how come it's stupid?

Well, because at
the end of 30 days,

Eddie's going to owe
his father $25 for the tire.

How's he going to pay that back?

Well, maybe he can
charge something else

on the credit card.

Look, you big stupe,

don't you know this
is just like stealing?

How come?

Well, because Eddie's buying
stuff that he can't pay for.

You know, what's going to
happen is Eddie's going to end up

without his credit
card, without his car,

and all he's going to
have left is that stupid vest.

No, he's not.

The only way Fred would
give him the $15 for the tire

was if he threw in the vest.

Mom, Dad, uh, Eddie
Haskell's out in the kitchen,

and he's got something
he wants to say to you

about the battery
and everything.

Well, fine. Have him come in.

Um, don't be mean
to him or anything

'cause his father found
out about everything

and he took away his
credit card and his car

and he grounded
him for a whole month.

Tell him to come in.

Boy, this ought to be good.

Beaver.

Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs.
Cleaver, but I'd like to apologize.

I hope that the little
matter of the credit card

hasn't embarrassed Wally

or in any way caused your
family any inconvenience.

Well, Eddie, it did cause

quite a lot of
trouble for everyone,

but mostly for yourself.

Yes, sir, my father made
that very clear to me.

I just hope that this will

in no way hurt my
friendship with Wally.

Well, that's up to Wally,

but you're always
welcome here, Eddie.

Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.

We'll see you, Eddie.

Boy, that Eddie
wasn't nice for nothing.

He's up to something.

Oh, now, Beaver,

we have to believe
the best about people.

I know, Dad, but this is Eddie.

What's your angle?

Nothing, Wally.

I was just afraid that
after all that's happened

your folks might not
let you see me anymore.

Are you sure?

Don't you believe me?

Well, gee, I don't know.

The way you've
acted all your life,

a guy doesn't know
whether to believe you or not.

No fooling?

Gee, I knew I was a mess,

but I didn't think I
was that big a mess.

Cut it out.

Hey, I'll give you a
ride to school tomorrow.

Okay, Gertrude.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA