Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 6, Episode 2 - Beaver's Football Award - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Oh, hi, Mom. Dad.

- Hello, Wally.
- Hi.

Had to stop by the
library on the way home.

Hm, Ballet Steps by Durinski,

Hair Styling At Home,

Beauty Hints And Secrets.

Your homework assignment?

These aren't my books.

I walked home with
Mary Ellen Rogers.



I guess I must've
given her mine instead.

What did she wind up with,
How To Boil Out A Carburetor?

- Hi, Beav.
- Hi.

- Hi, Beav.
- Hi there, Beaver.

Aren't you getting
home a little late?

Yeah, I had to
stay after school.

I had to help the guys put up
folding chairs in the boys' gym.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

They're having that father-and-son
banquet tomorrow night.

Beaver, you made
the football team.

Do you think you're
going to get a letter?

Yeah, and some of the guys
think I might get the award

for the most
inspirational player, too.

Why, Beaver, that's great.



Hey, what are you
going to get it for, Beav?

For not crying when you missed the
bus home from the Medford game?

Oh, now, Wally, Beaver
had a good season.

Mr. Ingersoll, our coach,

said I was either the hardest
playing player on the team

or the sloppiest.

Why did he say that?

Because after every game
I had the dirtiest uniform.

Oh, and Dad,

on account of it being
a father-and-son dinner,

I guess you're going to
be stuck to go with me.

Well, Beaver, I am proud to
accept your formal invitation.

Hey, listen to this.

Grant Avenue
School football team

to receive awards.

They've got it written
up in the paper?

Well, isn't that
exciting, Beaver?

This is going to be
quite an important event.

Mule Saunders will be on hand
to present some of the awards.

Who in the world
is Mule Saunders?

Boy, Mom, that's like
asking who Jon Arnett is.

I don't believe I've
ever heard of him, either.

Oh, boy.

Mom, Mule Saunders went
to school right here in Mayfield.

Then when he
graduated, he went on

and was a big,
college football star.

Then he went on
to play for the Bears.

He was one of the
greatest halfbacks

to ever come out of
the National League.

Boy, imagine sitting
at the same table

with Mule Saunders.

The old Mule could sure
rip holes in an opposing line.

Say, Dad, what's he doing
now, coaching at some university?

Uh, no, I think I
read the other day

where he'd gone into business.

He's probably selling footballs
and tackling dummies and stuff.

Uh, no, Beaver.

What is he doing, Dad?

Well, I, uh...

I think he's a partner
in a beauty parlor.

A beauty parlor?

Oh, no.

Well, his partner
happens to be his wife,

and if it'll make you
boys feel any better,

I don't think Mule spends
much time around the place.

I hope not.

Hey, we really have a
celebrity in the house.

Beaver, your
name's in the paper.

No fooling, Dad? Did they
really write it in the paper.

Yeah, they listed the names of the
fellows that were going to receive letters.

Hey, and they
even spelled it right.

Well, there's only one
way to spell Beaver.

No, sir, it says right here...

"Theodore Cleaver."

Beaver, this is a
big day in your life,

and we're all very proud of you.

Are you as happy about me

as you were about Wally

when he used to get
letters and awards and stuff?

Oh, you bet I am.

Have you thought of a
little acceptance speech

if you should win one
of the special awards?

Oh, yeah, I thought of one.

What are you going to say?

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

- Is that all?
- Yeah, Mom.

You see, I was reading where none of
the big athletes are good speechmakers,

like Roger Maris
and Mickey Mantle

and Arnold Palmer and...

That's right, Beaver,

and there's no use in
that great football player,

Theodore Cleaver,
upsetting the trend.

Say, Beav,

you know, in that
speech of yours,

you can leave out the ladies.

Only fathers are
going to be there.

Hey, Beav, is your dad
coming to the thing tonight?

Yeah, my dad's coming.

What about your dad?

He wouldn't miss
it for anything.

My dad's getting
such a charge out of it,

he's even bringing my uncle.

I wish it was over.

My folks even went out
and bought me a new suit.

This is the biggest thing
that's happened in my family

since my sister gave
an accordion concert

at the Elk's Hall.

- What do you say, man?
- Hi, Terry.

We were just talking about the
father-and-son dinner tonight.

Oh, yeah, that.

You're going, aren't you, Terry?

Yeah, I suppose
I'll have to show up.

You better.

We're going to get our letters,

and you'll probably get the
most-valuable-player award.

Yeah, I'm a cinch for that.

I wish it was over.

Yeah, I'll probably...

What's the matter with you, kid?

Yeah, Ronald, how come
you keep saying that?

I don't know.

I guess I'm scared of standing
up there in front of all those people.

It's bad enough wearing
a suit and necktie

when there's nobody around.

Boy, you can say that again.

Wait a minute. Who's
wearing a suit and necktie?

Well, it's a dinner,

and our fathers are going
to be there and everything.

- So what?
- So don't you think
everybody will dress up?

Let me ask you something.

Where's this thing
going to be held?

In the gym.

Okay, then.

You guys ever hear of anybody
getting dressed up around a gym?

Well, no.

I never did.

- Not me.
- Me, neither.

Gee, Terry,

you mean you're not going to
wear a suit or a jacket or anything?

Me? I'm going just the
way I'm dressed now.

Anything wrong
with that? Is there?

- No.
- Guess not.

And Gilbert, your folks
bought you a new suit?

You're going in a suit?

Uh, no.

Just because they bought me one,

that doesn't mean
that I have to wear it.

I'm going to go
just the way I am.

How about you, Ronald?

Yeah, that's the
way I'm going, too.

Well, me, too.

How about you, Beav?

Don't you guys think we
ought to at least wear a necktie?

A necktie?

What are you, a square?

Yeah, Beaver, what
are you, a square?

Hi, Wally.

Hi, Mom.

I guess it will be just the
two of us for supper tonight.

Yeah, I guess so.

I still think if you want to go
with Beaver and your father,

it would be all right.

Oh, I don't think so, Mom.

Having a guy my age around

might take the edge off of it.

Sure that's why
you don't want to go?

Well, I... I thought I might
go over to Lori Ann's...

After we have supper, that is,

if you don't mind.

No, of course not, Wally.

You go right ahead.

Oh, Wally.

Yeah, Mom?

Don't sidetrack Beaver.

I just sent him
upstairs to get ready.

Don't worry, Mom.

Any time you can get
the Beaver to dress up,

I'm not going to slow him down.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Ward.

Aren't you on your way home?

That's what I
called about, June.

I'm still at the office.

Oh, don't tell me

you're not going to
be able to get here

in time to go to
Beaver's school tonight.

No. No, I'll make it all right,

but I won't have
much time to spare.

I'll just have time
to change and run.

Well, I'll lay your clothes out.

You want to wear
anything in particular?

Well, you better put
my dark blue suit out.

It's not every night

I have a chance to accompany

an old pro to a sports banquet.

Ward, you don't think
Beaver will end up being

a professional athlete, do you?

Well, I doubt it. Why?

I don't know.

I just can't picture him
running a beauty parlor.

Bye.

Beaver, I told you to go
upstairs and get ready.

I am ready.

I took a shower and
even brushed my teeth.

That's fine,

but why didn't you put the
clothes on you were going to wear

while you were at it?

This is what I'm going to wear.

Beaver, you can't
go dressed like that.

This is going to
be a nice affair.

I know, Mom, but
this stuff will be okay.

Beaver, look, I want
you to go upstairs,

and I want you to put a tie on.

I want you to put your good
sports jacket on and look nice.

Gee, Mom, I can't.

What do you mean, you can't?

I just can't.

I'd rather croak than
go all dressed up tonight.

But why?

I just would. That's all.

In other words, you
don't have a reason.

I got a reason, all right,

but you wouldn't understand it.

It's a man's kind of reason.

Beaver, there's no
reason for anyone

not to be dressed properly.

Now, I'm not going
to argue with you.

Your father's going
to be home soon.

I want you to go upstairs, and I want you
to be all ready to leave when he gets here.

But, Mom.

Upstairs.

Yes, Mom.

Boy, this is a fine way to treat
the most-inspirational player.

Boy, Beaver, you're
just asking for it.

Yeah, well, I'm still not
going to get dressed up.

What are you making such a big
deal about getting dressed up for?

It's only for one night.

Yeah, I know,

but I don't want
to look like a goon.

You're not going to
look any more like a goon

than you usually do
when you get dressed up.

Yeah, Wally, but who
wants to be the only guy there

with a necktie and
good clothes on?

What are you talking about?

None of the guys at school
said they were going to dress up.

What guys?

The guys on the team and
especially Terry Richmond.

It's his idea,

and he's the best
player on the whole team.

Look, Beaver, you
don't have to worry

about what the
other guys are doing,

well, not anymore.

That's kid's stuff.

Look, you've got
to think for yourself.

Now, if I thought that I should
get dressed up for something,

I'd just go ahead
and get dressed up

and not worry about what
the other guys were doing.

Yeah.

Hey, Wally?

The other night when you
went to that country-club dance,

how come you rented
that fancy tuxedo outfit?

Because all the other
guys were wearing them.

Hold up, Beaver.
That's different.

A guy doesn't want
to stand out in a crowd.

Oh, stop giving me
such big-shot advice.

You're just as much
of a kid as I am.

Never mind what's wrong with me.

Here comes Dad.

Either you better have
some good clothes on

or a good answer.

I've got a good answer.

I'm just not going
to get dressed up.

Beaver.

Yes, Mom.

I just heard your
father drive up.

Beaver, you aren't dressed yet.

I told you, Mom. This
is what I got to wear.

Well, it looks as
though I made it. I...

Beaver, you're not dressed yet.

June, I thought you'd
have him all ready.

I have told him to get
dressed three times,

and this is what he
says he's going to wear.

Oh, no, you're not.

Now, you march right upstairs
and put your good clothes on.

But, Dad...

Son, I have just 10 minutes
to shower and change,

and I want you ready when I am.

Now, come on, let's go.

- Yeah, but...
- Let's go.

June, do I always
have to be the one

to see that they do
what they're told?

I guess so.

You know something, Beav,

you're acting like a real
kook about this whole thing.

So I'm a kook.

Look, this is one of those fights
you're going to lose anyway,

so why don't you
just give up now

instead of going through
all that shouting and yelling?

How come you're on their side?

Isn't it bad enough I got
Mom and Dad against me?

Look, Beav, they're
not against you.

They just don't want
to be embarrassed

having you walk in there
looking like a sloppy ape.

Yeah, well, they're
not worried about me.

They're just worried
about themselves.

Boy, that's really
selfish of them.

Look, will you stop trying
to analyze everybody?

Just put on a jacket and a tie.

Uh-uh. I'm not going to
let the other kids down.

Look, they're going to
be all dressed up, too.

No, they won't.

Okay, okay, why
don't you settle it.

Why don't you call
the coach, Mr. Ingersoll,

and ask him what
everybody's wearing?

Wally, I'm supposed to be
the most inspirational player.

I can't call up the coach and
ask a dumb question like that.

That would be
like some astronaut

calling up the President
and saying "Get me down."

Okay, then call up
some of your friends

and ask them what
they're wearing.

I already know
what they're wearing.

You just want to make
me look like a dope, Wally.

But, Beaver...

Boy, Wally, you
must really hate me.

Well, I'm all set.

It's a shame they
aren't awarding

the most attractive
husband trophy.

Oh, thank you very much.

Is Beaver down yet?

Haven't seen him yet.

- Say, Wally.
- Yeah, Dad?

Is your brother still upstairs?

Yeah, Dad, he's
up there all right.

Well, what's he
doing? It's time to go.

He's lying on the bed moping.

I hope he isn't getting
his good clothes wrinkled.

He's not wearing
his good clothes.

You mean he hasn't changed yet?

Your father will see
that Beaver gets dressed.

I don't know, Mom.

Right now he's up there
acting like Patrick Henry.

Gee, Dad, you can't make me
look different in front of the other kids.

Beaver, are you trying to tell me that
nobody there will be dressed up tonight?

Yes, sir.

Who gave you that idea?

Terry Richmond,

and he's the best
player on the whole team.

Oh. Does that also mean
he's the arbiter of fashion?

No, sir. It just means he's
going to wear a sweater.

Look, Beaver.

When we get there tonight,

I'm sure you'll find all of the
boys wearing jackets and ties.

Now, I think you should
just trust your father on that.

I'm sorry, Dad, but
they just won't be,

and I can't be the only
guy who's dressed different.

All right, Beaver,

if you won't wear
your good clothes,

there's only one
thing we can do.

What's that?

We just won't go to the
father-and-son dinner.

Not get my award or anything?

That's right.

Okay. Then we just won't go.

You'd rather stay home?

Yes, sir.

All right, Beaver.

That's the way it'll
be, but just remember.

It was your decision.

How did you make out?

Oh, the problem's solved.

Oh, good.

We're not going.

You're not going to the dinner?

Ward, Beaver's looked forward to getting
that award and that letter all week.

But this is the biggest thing
that's happened to Beaver

since he started at
the grammar school.

Dear, I know that,

but Beaver made the decision.

Ward, you can't let him
make a decision like that.

June, what do you
expect me to do,

take him to school
dressed like this

and embarrass him and
me in front of everybody?

Well, not going
isn't the answer.

Now, Ward, you go upstairs,

and you make
him put his suit on.

He just can't miss this banquet.

All right. All right, we
won't miss the banquet.

We'll go.

But Beaver's going to go
dressed just exactly like he is.

Ward, you just said how
embarrassing that would be.

All right. Maybe the more
embarrassing, the better.

Maybe when he sees
how foolish he looks,

he won't pull a
stunt like this again.

Is Dad going to
go up and belt him?

No, Wally, I guess your father's going
to go up there and teach him a lesson.

I think it would be
better if he belted him.

All right, Beaver, let's go.

I told you, Dad.

I can't wear a tie and a coat.

Never mind that. Just
come the way your are.

- The way I am?
- That's right.

Well, my sweater's
downstairs in the living room.

Well, you go down
and get your sweater.

I'll get the car out.

I have the car out front.

We're off to the banquet.

We'll be back about 9:30.

Bye, Ward. Bye, Beaver.

Holy mackerel, Dad.

You're letting him go like this?

Yes, just like this.

He won, huh?

Never mind, Wally.

Oh, sorry.

Good-bye, Mom. Good-bye, Wally.

Beaver.

Beaver, wouldn't you
please go back upstairs and...

Uh, June, maybe
Beaver's at the age

where he knows better
about these things than we do.

Come on, son.

Hey, Mom, what's
Dad got up his sleeve?

Up his sleeve?

Yeah, he wouldn't let the Beaver
get away with anything like this

unless he was going
to get it in the end.

Wally, would you go and
finish your dinner, please?

Well, with all our hurry
we're still in plenty of time.

That's a nice-looking sport
jacket that boy's wearing.

Oh, he's one of the ushers.
He has to dress that way.

Oh.

Where do we sit, Beaver?

Up there at the big table.

Oh.

Pretty neat
decorations, huh, Dad?

Yes, very neat.

Well, Mr. Cleaver.

Hello, Mr. Rickover.

- Theodore.
- Hi, Beav.

Hi, Richard.

- Hello, Richard.
- Hi, Mr. Cleaver.

- Hello, men.
- Mr. Bates.

- Hi, Beav.
- Hi, Gilbert.

- Dad?
- Yes, Beav.

Hiya, Beaver.

Hi, Terry.

Terry?

Isn't that the star
of your team?

Yeah, Dad.

Fine-looking boy.

Uh, yes.

- Dad?
- Yes, Beaver?

- I don't feel so good.
- Oh?

I got a pain right
here in my stomach.

Could we go home?

You think we should?

I know we should.

All right, Beaver.
Whatever you say.

Uh, excuse us.

Uh, let's go this
way, Dad. It's faster.

Beaver, will you come out here?

Dad, I don't feel so good.

Maybe this will
make you feel better.

Gee, Dad, you
brought my good stuff.

Yeah, sure I did.

Here, come on. Let
me help you with this.

This is kind of hard
to do in the dark.

Thanks, Dad.

Just a minute, here. Let
me get this tie straight.

Hold steady.

All right.

Collar down.

There. You look
like a million dollars.

There, now. You feel better?

Yeah, Dad, lots better.

Well, come on. You've
got to be through eating

when they call you
up for that award.

- Dad?
- Yeah, Beav?

I'm a real dopey kid, aren't I?

Well, Beaver,

I guess I was a pretty dope
kid every once in a while, too,

when I was your age.

You mean sometimes you
didn't listen to your father either?

Sometimes I didn't, Beaver.

Yeah, but I'll bet you
never didn't listen to him

as bad as I didn't
listen to you tonight.

Oh, I don't know.

Dad, how come you went to all the trouble
of bringing all my junk and everything

instead of just clobbering me?

Well, Beaver, maybe because
under the same circumstances

my father would've clobbered me.

I'm glad you two had
such a good time last night.

Yeah, it was quite an evening.

What's the matter with him?

Search me, Mom.

You know how goofy
kids are at his age.

Sometimes I wonder
how I got through it.

Wally, how was your
evening with Lori Ann?

Oh, it was... It
was okay, I guess.

You don't sound
too enthusiastic.

No, it was all right.

We just sat around and
played records and junk.

You know, it was
a real funny thing.

Every time we played a Frankie
Avalon or a Bobby Darin record,

her pop kept coughing
in the other room.

Maybe he had a cold.

Yeah, that's what
I thought at first,

but then every time we played a
Mitch Miller record or something,

he didn't cough once.

It's in here. It's in here.

Beaver, for goodness' sakes.

Look, Dad.

Oh, well, pictures of the
father-and-son banquet.

Yeah, look at this one.

Hey, yeah, it's a picture of
Beaver and Mule Saunders.

"Among those
receiving special awards

"was Theodore Cleaver,

"who received a trophy for
the Most Inspirational Player.

Presenting the trophy as the former
Mayfield great, Mule Saunders."

Beaver, that's wonderful.

It's such a good picture.

Yeah, and doesn't Mule
Saunders look sharp?

Yeah, and, boy, would I have
looked like a creep standing next to him

if I had just worn my
everyday school clothes.

Yeah, you sure would've.

Dad, like I said, from now on,

if you want me to do anything,

just tell me, and
I'll do it right away.

Oh, well, fine, Beaver,

I'll just take you up on that.

How about you and Wally
getting on that yard work

we talked about this morning?

Oh, yeah. I thought I forgot.

Boy, you know, it's rough, Beav.

One day you're a
big football hero,

and the next day
you're pulling weeds.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
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