Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 9 - Beaver's Ice Skates - full transcript
Beaver asks his father for $6 to make up the amount he is short for a $10 season's pass to the ice skating rink. Ward is happy that Beaver is interested in skating and gives him the $6, but he is almost certain that Beaver will want more money to get other peripheral items. Beaver vows that he won't ask for any more money for this endeavor. But as Ward expects, Beaver asks two days later if he can buy a new pair of skates advertised on sale at a new sporting goods store. As Beaver will be using his own money, Ward and June say yes. Although against their better judgment, they also let Beaver go to the store on his own to get the skates. At the store, the salesman, knowing that Beaver wears a size 6 but with nothing left in stock but sizes 9 and up, tries to pawn off a 9 as a 6 to Beaver, who, even after trying them on and feeling that they are big, buys them. Once at the rink, Beaver, even wearing three pairs of wool socks like the salesman told him, can't even walk in the skates, let alone skate in them. Beaver doesn't want to get an "I told you so" from his father, so he has to figure out what to do about the skates and about the skating. Meanwhile, the local newspaper may give Ward and June some indication that something is wrong in Beaver's skating life.
Starring...
and...
Hi, Dad.
Hey, Dad, have you
talked to Mom yet?
Uh, no, not yet.
Okay, then I'll be back later.
Well, what was that all about?
Well, I was supposed
to soften you up.
And then he was gonna
come in and ask you something.
I don't think I need
to be softened up.
Beaver? Beaver.
Huh. Why do you always have to
be so devious about these things?
Well, I guess because
we never know what kind
of a mood you're
gonna come home in.
Yes, Dad.
Oh, what was it you
wanted to ask me, Beaver?
Well, you see, Dad, all the
guys are going ice skating
at the ice skating rink,
and they're all buying
$10 season tickets.
And I want to know if I can have
$6 to buy a $10 season ticket.
Well, Beaver, I'm
very happy to hear
that you're interested
in ice skating
because it just happens that I
used to be quite a skater myself.
But I know how
these things work.
First it's $6 for
a season ticket.
Then it's a skating
sweater. Then it's a cap.
Then it's a pair
of new ice skates.
Oh, no, Dad, I'll just keep
skating in my old dirty cloths.
And I won't even wear a cap.
And I'll just keep renting
the crummy skates
from the Ice Palace
just like I've been doing.
All right, Beaver,
I'll give you the $6,
but don't let this
thing get out of hand.
Oh, gee, no, Dad. Thanks a lot.
You just wait and
see what happens.
I know how these
things build up.
So do I. I remember the
time that you bought the 5 iron
to get a little exercise
at the golf range.
Next I knew, you bought a
bag full of woods and irons
and we joined the country club.
You see, Dad, these are the
kind of skates I want to get.
Well, Beaver,
aren't you the boy who
told me just two days ago
that all you wanted
was a season ticket
and you were going to go on
renting those crummy skates?
Well, sure, Dad.
But I've been skating
twice since then
and the crummy skates are even
crummier than I thought they were.
Well, sure, Dad. You
know how kids are.
They never mean
anything they say.
Don't help me, huh, Wally?
Beaver, I don't
think you can expect
your father to just hand you
the money for new ice skates.
Oh, no, Mom. I forgot to take
the money out of my bank account.
How about it, Dad? Mom?
Well, Beaver, it's your money.
If you want to spend
it on ice skates,
I guess that's up to you.
Uh, Wally, do you know anything
about this sporting goods store?
Well, they just opened
and they were
advertising it on TV.
They had this big
searchlight out in front,
so it must be an honest place.
All right, Beaver, I'll take
you down this afternoon.
Aw, gee, Dad.
I'm getting too big that
every time I buy something
I got to drag my father along.
Beaver, I think one of
us should go with you.
Gee, Mom,
how do you think I felt last month
when you went to buy me underwear
and you had to tell the
man I was a small stomach?
Well, um...
All right, Beaver, I think you're
old enough to take responsibility.
You can buy the skates yourself.
Just make sure that
they're worth the money.
Gee, thanks a lot, Dad. I don't
want anymore pancakes, Mom.
Boy, Beaver, you're lucky
getting to buy stuff by yourself
without your parents
holding your hand.
Well, that's because my
parents think I have good sense.
No fooling? My parents are
always telling me how dumb I am.
Sometimes they tell me so
much I really think I am dumb.
Well, well, well, boys.
What can I do for you?
Well, I want to buy a pair of
those neat-looking racing skates
like you advertised
in the newspaper.
You mean are imported
English Racers?
Yes, sir.
Oh, they're a real
bargain at $12.95.
I only hope we have a pair left.
Oh, I hope so, too.
I already told all the
guys I was getting them.
Well, we certainly don't want
to disappoint the guys, do we?
Oh, are you alone or is your
mother and father with you?
Oh, no, we're both
alone together.
Uh-huh.
You do have the price?
Oh, yes, sir. I drew it
out of my bank money.
Well, sit down, young man.
And let's see
what size you take.
That's it.
Well, uh...
I think you better
take the other one.
I changed a sock
in it this morning.
I see.
Well, my mother says I wear a 6.
6 is correct.
I'll be right back.
Excuse me.
He's a nice guy
isn't he, Whitey?
If he's a nice guy, how
come he's so polite?
Oh, it's not his fault.
I think the store
makes him be polite.
Bert. Bert.
Yeah.
We're are the 6s
on these skates?
- We're out of them
- What about the 7s?
We're out of those
too, also the 8s.
Got nothing left
but the 9s on up.
Here you are, young man.
Just the right pair for you.
You know, you're very lucky.
This is the last pair your
size in the entire store.
Boy, Beaver, you're lucky
you came in when you did.
Yeah.
There we are.
Well, that's a
perfect fit, I'd say.
Not too tight, are they?
Something wrong?
Oh, no, sir.
They just feel a
little big, that's all.
Well, of course they do.
That's because we leave room
for the three pairs of wool socks
you wear when you skate.
Three pairs?
Well, of course.
All professionals wear three
pair to cushion their feet.
Keep them warm.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's the way
they do it, isn't it, Whitey?
Oh, yeah, that's the
way they do it, Beaver.
Well, certainly,
if they don't have a
little play in them now,
they'll be too tight when
you put the socks on.
Now, that makes
sense doesn't it?
Yeah, sure, Mister.
Just look at that blade.
Fine Sheffield steel.
Yeah, that's the best
kind of steel, all right.
I'll take it, Mister.
Well, how are the skates?
Oh, they look just fine to me.
Of course, it's been a long
time since I bought ice skates.
Beaver's so excited about them.
He can't wait until tomorrow,
so he can go skating.
Yeah, it's a big
day in his life.
Who knows after this. Maybe
he can buy his own underwear.
You know, Ward, I'm glad
we gave him the responsibility.
It's an important step, you
know, buying things for yourself.
It's a real sign of
maturity and growing up.
June, he just bought
a pair of ice skates.
He didn't propose to them.
Beaver, how come
you're doing that now?
You're gonna wear
all the chrome off.
Yeah, but I want to make
sure they don't rust on me.
Rust on you?
You haven't even used them yet.
Yeah, I know, but I got to
take good care of these skates.
I'm gonna have
them for a long time.
Boy, Wally, just wait
till I get out in that ice.
Look, Wally.
Zip. Zip.
Zip. Zip. Zip.
I'm winning the
Olympics. Zip. Zip.
Beaver, how can you win the
Olympics skating on a carpet?
You know, Wally,
sometimes I think
I'd be better off
if I had a sister.
- Oh, hi, Mom.
- Hi, Wally.
Hey, Mom, is the Beaver home?
I got the football tickets for him.
No, he's at the Ice Palace.
You're a little late. Did you
have practice again today?
Nah, our principal was
talking to us about the future.
You know, college and what
we want to be and junk like that.
Oh, you know, those are very
important things to consider.
Well, sure. Mom.
You know, he said that
if you have a target in life.
It's a lot easier to
hit the bull's eye.
Well, Wally, that's a
very good way of putting it.
Did it impress the boys?
Yeah, most of them.
All except Eddie.
He said, "So who
wants to be an archer?"
That's Eddie.
Boy, Beaver, those are the
neatest skates I ever saw.
They're even chromium plated.
You couldn't play
hockey in them, though
on account of the blades
punch holes in the other guys.
And these things are even made
out of the finest Sheffield steel.
What's Sheffield?
What do you mean? It's
a big city in Pittsburgh.
Well, you guys all set?
Yep.
Let's go.
What's the matter?
You trip?
Gee, I don't know.
I feel like I can't
even stand up.
Maybe they feel that
way because they're new.
Sure, you got to break them in.
Yeah, I guess so.
Gee, I can't even
walk out onto the ice.
You wearing those three
pair socks like he told you?
Well, sure, look.
Yeah, you're wearing a
mess of socks all right.
Let me see something.
Boy, Beaver, your
toes are only halfway up.
You got enough room
there for your other foot.
You guys go ahead.
I'll see you later.
Okay, we'll see
you out in the ice.
Boy, why did I have to
go and be a wise guy?
Hey, Mom, is Beaver around?
I thought he might want to
walk me over to the library.
No, he's at the ice rink again.
Again? Boy, he's sure
getting a lot of mileage
out of those skates.
What have you been reading?
It's just a book I got
to read for English.
It's an old-fashioned book
called Gone With the Wind.
An old-fashioned book?
Yeah, you must
have heard of it, Mom.
They got a movie of it around,
only its on a rerun, like on TV.
I think I've heard of it, Wally.
Honey, as long as
you're going to the library,
maybe you'd take
this back for me.
Great Love Stories
of the Century.
Gee, Mom, you mean
you read this kind of junk?
Once in a while.
Why?
Well, I don't know, but I
thought you always stop
reading this kind of mushy
stuff after you got married.
Wally, I don't think any woman
ever stops reading that mushy stuff.
Well, what does Dad say
about you reading this?
Oh, he read it, too.
He did?
Boy, you know, Mom,
sometimes I can't
figure you and Dad out.
Thanks.
Beaver?
Beaver, what are
you doing in a library?
Well, I'm reading till it's
time to go home for supper.
Yeah, but you're
supposed to be skating.
I can't go skating
on account of these new
crummy skates I bought.
Well, what's wrong with them?
Well, they're too big for me.
You little dope.
How come you went and bought
skates that are too big for you?
Well, gee, Wally, I didn't
know they were too big for me.
Because the guy in
the shoe store said
they'd be just right if I put
on three pairs of wool socks.
But they weren't just right. And
every time I stood up, I fell down.
You mean that every day that Mom
and Dad have thought you've been skating,
you've been sitting
here in the library?
Well, gee, Wally,
they won't let you hang
around the candy store
unless you buy something.
Well, look, how come
you just didn't go to Dad
and tell him that you got
gypped on the skates?
Wally, you can't go to Dad
and have him
say "I told you so."
Yeah, I guess so.
But look, you can't
keep coming here.
Kid your age hanging
around the library.
You're liable to get
suspicious of you.
Gee, Wally, what am I gonna do?
Look, if the skates
are too big for you,
we'll just take them
back to the store.
And we'll either get them
changed or get your money back.
You think they'll
do that, Wally?
Sure they will.
Look, the only reason they took
advantage of you was because you're a kid.
They're not gonna shove
guys my age around.
Hey, Wally, that's the guy.
Oh, good afternoon,
gentlemen. What can I do for...
Oh, my little friend.
Enjoying your skates?
No, sir, I'm not
enjoying my skates.
They're too big for him.
Too big.
That's impossible.
I fit him myself.
Well, you over fit him.
And if you don't mind
we like our money back.
We?
Yeah, I'm his brother,
and I'm in high school.
The only reason I'm here is
because my father couldn't come.
Yeah, he's having a
meeting with some policemen.
I see.
Well, young man,
these are all scuffed up.
Well, gee, how
can they be scuffed
when he hasn't even used them?
I wobbled every
time I put them on.
Whenever you wobbled you
wobbled the sides against the floor.
You see?
You mean you're not gonna
exchange them for a pair his size?
Well, they are his size.
Now, look, I've been
selling shoes for years.
Well, if they're my size,
how come I got room in
there for a whole nother foot?
Boys, do you see that sign?
Boys, I'd like to give you a
break, but I only work here.
My hands are tied.
Well, I guess if your hands
are tied and everything.
Well, if you'll excuse me.
I have to make a living.
What are we gonna do now, Wally?
Gee, I don't know, Beav.
I guess you'll just have to
go back to sitting in the library.
Hi, Dad.
Oh, hello, Beaver.
How'd it go today?
Oh, real neat, Dad.
That's good. You ought
to be a champ by now.
Oh, yeah, I'm getting
pretty good, Dad.
Those new skates made
quite a difference, huh?
They sure do, Dad.
I'm doing a lot of things now I
wouldn't do if I didn't have them.
Is that you, Beaver?
Yes, Mom.
Better get washed up for dinner.
It's almost ready.
Okay, Mom.
June.
Isn't he spending an awful
lot of time at that skating rink?
Oh, honey, he loves it so.
He spends more time at
the rink than he does at home.
Yeah, well, I guess he's
just taking after his father.
When I was his age I
practically lived on the ice.
And now you can hardly get
the ice trays out of the refrigerator.
Beaver, aren't you getting tired
of just hanging around
the library all the time?
I sure am.
There's nothing to
do there but read.
How come they got all
those books there, Wally?
Well, lots of people
like to go there and read.
Yeah, but I'll bet
I'm not the only one
that just goes there to hide.
How long are you
gonna keep pretending?
I don't know.
I guess till my
season ticket runs out.
Yeah, but that's
six weeks from now.
Yeah, but, gee, Wally.
If I quit sooner, Mom and
Dad will get suspicious.
And I got make them think
I'm getting my money's
worth out of these skates.
Boy, I sure wish Mom had
come with me when I bought them.
How come?
Well, then I could blame
her for getting the wrong size.
June.
Oh, June.
Yes, dear.
Uh, are you sure Beaver's
been skating everyday?
Of course, he comes
home late every day
with his skates around his neck.
Listen to this.
"Due to a broken pipe in
the refrigeration system,
"the Ice Palace was compelled
to close its doors yesterday.
The management expects to reopen
for business as usual on Monday."
Well, I don't get it.
Beaver said he was
there yesterday and today.
Well, I don't think
he's become so expert
he can ice skate without ice.
Well, Ward, you don't suppose
Beaver lie to us do you?
Well, what we might call lying
he might consider just
a convenient evasion.
Beaver!
Come down here. I
want to talk to you.
Did you notice something funny
about the way Dad sounded?
Yeah, and when he
sounds funny like that
it's nothing to laugh at.
I wonder what I did.
I've been taking baths
and it's in between
report cards.
I don't know, but
you better go down
and find out what it is.
Yeah.
Yes, Dad.
Uh, Beaver, I found something
in this evening's paper
I thought might interest you.
Oh, are you gonna read
me the funnies, Dad?
"Due to a broken pipe in
the refrigeration system,
"the Ice Palace was compelled
to close its doors yesterday.
The management expects to reopen
for business as usual on Monday."
Oh, well, that means I
can't go skating till Monday.
Thanks a lot, Dad.
Just a minute, Beaver.
This also says that the
Ice Palace has been closed
since yesterday.
Oh, it says that, huh?
Beaver, you said you were
there yesterday and today.
Yeah, but did I tell
you I was skating?
Yes, you did.
Oh.
All right, Beaver,
suppose you sit down there
and tell us what
this is all about.
Well, you know those
new skates I bought, Dad.
Well, I can't wear them
on account they're
way too big for me.
But I didn't want to tell you...
So you'd yell at me for buying
on myself and wasting my money.
Oh, Beaver.
Beaver, you should
have come to me anyway.
Well, gee, Dad. I'd almost do anything
rather to have you know I was dumb.
Oh, I see.
Well, where have you been
spending your afternoons?
The little goof has been sitting around
in the library pretending to be reading.
Beaver, why didn't you
just take the skates back
to the store where
you bought them?
Well, me and Wally tried that.
But the man wouldn't even exchange
them or give us our money back.
Yeah, Dad, he was
one of those salesmen
you just couldn't get a grip on.
You know, Dad,
I almost wish you hadn't
let me buy those skates.
Well, you insisted
on it, Beaver.
We did it to be nice to you.
Yeah.
But just for once,
I wish you would
have been mean to me.
Then I wouldn't
lost 13 whole dollars.
Well, I tell you what
I'm going to do, Beaver.
Tomorrow, I'm going to take
those skates back to the store
and get your money back.
Gee, Dad, I don't know.
They're kind of all scuffed up.
Yeah, Dad, and they
smell kind of used, too.
Well, they're not bad skates.
Maybe you can use them, Wally.
Oh, no, Mom.
That's all right there.
They're way too big for me, too.
Maybe some one else in
the family could use them.
Oh, June, you're not
gonna unload them on me.
Gee, Dad, skating
is a lot of fun
and we could do it together.
Well, sure, Dad.
You know how you're
always telling us you used
to live on the ice back
where you came from.
Yes, well, that
was a long time ago
and I'm not where I came from.
Gee, Dad, I'll even throw
in my dirty socks for nothing.
Beaver, that's not the point.
That salesman had no right
to sell you skates that
are way too big for you.
And I'm not going to
let him get away with it.
Well, gee, Dad, are
you gonna clobber him?
Well, I don't think I'll
have to clobber him,
but I am going to see
you get your money back
or a decent pair of skates.
You know, Dad, I should have
come to you in the first place.
Well, sure, Beav, you should have
know that Dad was good for stuff like this.
Once in a while, if
you just try your father
you'd be surprised at how
much stuff he's good for.
Yeah.
Gee, thanks a lot, Dad.
And, you know, Mom,
you're real good for stuff, too.
You know, Wally,
I've been thinking.
This stuff about giving
kids responsibility
can cost a lot of money.
Well, how's that, Beav?
Well, I almost lost $13
and had nothing to show for it.
Well, you learned
something didn't you?
Yeah, from now on I'm
going to let Mom and Dad
have the responsibility
and lose the money.
They can afford
it better than I can.
- Oh, hi, Dad.
- Hi, Dad.
Well, Beaver, there's
12 dollars and 95 cents.
Now, you've got
all your money back.
Did you have any trouble, Dad?
No, not much.
I had to threaten to go to
the Better Business Bureau
if he didn't give
us our money back.
Gee, thanks, Dad.
Well, Beaver, I think this
should be a good lesson for you.
Yeah, Dad, I think I
should learn responsibility
on candy bars and ice cream.
Well, I think you better learn
to handle reasonability
before you take it.
Well, sure, Dad.
But if you don't give
a kid reasonability,
how can he learn to handle it?
Well, Wally, I guess
that's just one of things
that gives parents gray hair.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
and...
Hi, Dad.
Hey, Dad, have you
talked to Mom yet?
Uh, no, not yet.
Okay, then I'll be back later.
Well, what was that all about?
Well, I was supposed
to soften you up.
And then he was gonna
come in and ask you something.
I don't think I need
to be softened up.
Beaver? Beaver.
Huh. Why do you always have to
be so devious about these things?
Well, I guess because
we never know what kind
of a mood you're
gonna come home in.
Yes, Dad.
Oh, what was it you
wanted to ask me, Beaver?
Well, you see, Dad, all the
guys are going ice skating
at the ice skating rink,
and they're all buying
$10 season tickets.
And I want to know if I can have
$6 to buy a $10 season ticket.
Well, Beaver, I'm
very happy to hear
that you're interested
in ice skating
because it just happens that I
used to be quite a skater myself.
But I know how
these things work.
First it's $6 for
a season ticket.
Then it's a skating
sweater. Then it's a cap.
Then it's a pair
of new ice skates.
Oh, no, Dad, I'll just keep
skating in my old dirty cloths.
And I won't even wear a cap.
And I'll just keep renting
the crummy skates
from the Ice Palace
just like I've been doing.
All right, Beaver,
I'll give you the $6,
but don't let this
thing get out of hand.
Oh, gee, no, Dad. Thanks a lot.
You just wait and
see what happens.
I know how these
things build up.
So do I. I remember the
time that you bought the 5 iron
to get a little exercise
at the golf range.
Next I knew, you bought a
bag full of woods and irons
and we joined the country club.
You see, Dad, these are the
kind of skates I want to get.
Well, Beaver,
aren't you the boy who
told me just two days ago
that all you wanted
was a season ticket
and you were going to go on
renting those crummy skates?
Well, sure, Dad.
But I've been skating
twice since then
and the crummy skates are even
crummier than I thought they were.
Well, sure, Dad. You
know how kids are.
They never mean
anything they say.
Don't help me, huh, Wally?
Beaver, I don't
think you can expect
your father to just hand you
the money for new ice skates.
Oh, no, Mom. I forgot to take
the money out of my bank account.
How about it, Dad? Mom?
Well, Beaver, it's your money.
If you want to spend
it on ice skates,
I guess that's up to you.
Uh, Wally, do you know anything
about this sporting goods store?
Well, they just opened
and they were
advertising it on TV.
They had this big
searchlight out in front,
so it must be an honest place.
All right, Beaver, I'll take
you down this afternoon.
Aw, gee, Dad.
I'm getting too big that
every time I buy something
I got to drag my father along.
Beaver, I think one of
us should go with you.
Gee, Mom,
how do you think I felt last month
when you went to buy me underwear
and you had to tell the
man I was a small stomach?
Well, um...
All right, Beaver, I think you're
old enough to take responsibility.
You can buy the skates yourself.
Just make sure that
they're worth the money.
Gee, thanks a lot, Dad. I don't
want anymore pancakes, Mom.
Boy, Beaver, you're lucky
getting to buy stuff by yourself
without your parents
holding your hand.
Well, that's because my
parents think I have good sense.
No fooling? My parents are
always telling me how dumb I am.
Sometimes they tell me so
much I really think I am dumb.
Well, well, well, boys.
What can I do for you?
Well, I want to buy a pair of
those neat-looking racing skates
like you advertised
in the newspaper.
You mean are imported
English Racers?
Yes, sir.
Oh, they're a real
bargain at $12.95.
I only hope we have a pair left.
Oh, I hope so, too.
I already told all the
guys I was getting them.
Well, we certainly don't want
to disappoint the guys, do we?
Oh, are you alone or is your
mother and father with you?
Oh, no, we're both
alone together.
Uh-huh.
You do have the price?
Oh, yes, sir. I drew it
out of my bank money.
Well, sit down, young man.
And let's see
what size you take.
That's it.
Well, uh...
I think you better
take the other one.
I changed a sock
in it this morning.
I see.
Well, my mother says I wear a 6.
6 is correct.
I'll be right back.
Excuse me.
He's a nice guy
isn't he, Whitey?
If he's a nice guy, how
come he's so polite?
Oh, it's not his fault.
I think the store
makes him be polite.
Bert. Bert.
Yeah.
We're are the 6s
on these skates?
- We're out of them
- What about the 7s?
We're out of those
too, also the 8s.
Got nothing left
but the 9s on up.
Here you are, young man.
Just the right pair for you.
You know, you're very lucky.
This is the last pair your
size in the entire store.
Boy, Beaver, you're lucky
you came in when you did.
Yeah.
There we are.
Well, that's a
perfect fit, I'd say.
Not too tight, are they?
Something wrong?
Oh, no, sir.
They just feel a
little big, that's all.
Well, of course they do.
That's because we leave room
for the three pairs of wool socks
you wear when you skate.
Three pairs?
Well, of course.
All professionals wear three
pair to cushion their feet.
Keep them warm.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's the way
they do it, isn't it, Whitey?
Oh, yeah, that's the
way they do it, Beaver.
Well, certainly,
if they don't have a
little play in them now,
they'll be too tight when
you put the socks on.
Now, that makes
sense doesn't it?
Yeah, sure, Mister.
Just look at that blade.
Fine Sheffield steel.
Yeah, that's the best
kind of steel, all right.
I'll take it, Mister.
Well, how are the skates?
Oh, they look just fine to me.
Of course, it's been a long
time since I bought ice skates.
Beaver's so excited about them.
He can't wait until tomorrow,
so he can go skating.
Yeah, it's a big
day in his life.
Who knows after this. Maybe
he can buy his own underwear.
You know, Ward, I'm glad
we gave him the responsibility.
It's an important step, you
know, buying things for yourself.
It's a real sign of
maturity and growing up.
June, he just bought
a pair of ice skates.
He didn't propose to them.
Beaver, how come
you're doing that now?
You're gonna wear
all the chrome off.
Yeah, but I want to make
sure they don't rust on me.
Rust on you?
You haven't even used them yet.
Yeah, I know, but I got to
take good care of these skates.
I'm gonna have
them for a long time.
Boy, Wally, just wait
till I get out in that ice.
Look, Wally.
Zip. Zip.
Zip. Zip. Zip.
I'm winning the
Olympics. Zip. Zip.
Beaver, how can you win the
Olympics skating on a carpet?
You know, Wally,
sometimes I think
I'd be better off
if I had a sister.
- Oh, hi, Mom.
- Hi, Wally.
Hey, Mom, is the Beaver home?
I got the football tickets for him.
No, he's at the Ice Palace.
You're a little late. Did you
have practice again today?
Nah, our principal was
talking to us about the future.
You know, college and what
we want to be and junk like that.
Oh, you know, those are very
important things to consider.
Well, sure. Mom.
You know, he said that
if you have a target in life.
It's a lot easier to
hit the bull's eye.
Well, Wally, that's a
very good way of putting it.
Did it impress the boys?
Yeah, most of them.
All except Eddie.
He said, "So who
wants to be an archer?"
That's Eddie.
Boy, Beaver, those are the
neatest skates I ever saw.
They're even chromium plated.
You couldn't play
hockey in them, though
on account of the blades
punch holes in the other guys.
And these things are even made
out of the finest Sheffield steel.
What's Sheffield?
What do you mean? It's
a big city in Pittsburgh.
Well, you guys all set?
Yep.
Let's go.
What's the matter?
You trip?
Gee, I don't know.
I feel like I can't
even stand up.
Maybe they feel that
way because they're new.
Sure, you got to break them in.
Yeah, I guess so.
Gee, I can't even
walk out onto the ice.
You wearing those three
pair socks like he told you?
Well, sure, look.
Yeah, you're wearing a
mess of socks all right.
Let me see something.
Boy, Beaver, your
toes are only halfway up.
You got enough room
there for your other foot.
You guys go ahead.
I'll see you later.
Okay, we'll see
you out in the ice.
Boy, why did I have to
go and be a wise guy?
Hey, Mom, is Beaver around?
I thought he might want to
walk me over to the library.
No, he's at the ice rink again.
Again? Boy, he's sure
getting a lot of mileage
out of those skates.
What have you been reading?
It's just a book I got
to read for English.
It's an old-fashioned book
called Gone With the Wind.
An old-fashioned book?
Yeah, you must
have heard of it, Mom.
They got a movie of it around,
only its on a rerun, like on TV.
I think I've heard of it, Wally.
Honey, as long as
you're going to the library,
maybe you'd take
this back for me.
Great Love Stories
of the Century.
Gee, Mom, you mean
you read this kind of junk?
Once in a while.
Why?
Well, I don't know, but I
thought you always stop
reading this kind of mushy
stuff after you got married.
Wally, I don't think any woman
ever stops reading that mushy stuff.
Well, what does Dad say
about you reading this?
Oh, he read it, too.
He did?
Boy, you know, Mom,
sometimes I can't
figure you and Dad out.
Thanks.
Beaver?
Beaver, what are
you doing in a library?
Well, I'm reading till it's
time to go home for supper.
Yeah, but you're
supposed to be skating.
I can't go skating
on account of these new
crummy skates I bought.
Well, what's wrong with them?
Well, they're too big for me.
You little dope.
How come you went and bought
skates that are too big for you?
Well, gee, Wally, I didn't
know they were too big for me.
Because the guy in
the shoe store said
they'd be just right if I put
on three pairs of wool socks.
But they weren't just right. And
every time I stood up, I fell down.
You mean that every day that Mom
and Dad have thought you've been skating,
you've been sitting
here in the library?
Well, gee, Wally,
they won't let you hang
around the candy store
unless you buy something.
Well, look, how come
you just didn't go to Dad
and tell him that you got
gypped on the skates?
Wally, you can't go to Dad
and have him
say "I told you so."
Yeah, I guess so.
But look, you can't
keep coming here.
Kid your age hanging
around the library.
You're liable to get
suspicious of you.
Gee, Wally, what am I gonna do?
Look, if the skates
are too big for you,
we'll just take them
back to the store.
And we'll either get them
changed or get your money back.
You think they'll
do that, Wally?
Sure they will.
Look, the only reason they took
advantage of you was because you're a kid.
They're not gonna shove
guys my age around.
Hey, Wally, that's the guy.
Oh, good afternoon,
gentlemen. What can I do for...
Oh, my little friend.
Enjoying your skates?
No, sir, I'm not
enjoying my skates.
They're too big for him.
Too big.
That's impossible.
I fit him myself.
Well, you over fit him.
And if you don't mind
we like our money back.
We?
Yeah, I'm his brother,
and I'm in high school.
The only reason I'm here is
because my father couldn't come.
Yeah, he's having a
meeting with some policemen.
I see.
Well, young man,
these are all scuffed up.
Well, gee, how
can they be scuffed
when he hasn't even used them?
I wobbled every
time I put them on.
Whenever you wobbled you
wobbled the sides against the floor.
You see?
You mean you're not gonna
exchange them for a pair his size?
Well, they are his size.
Now, look, I've been
selling shoes for years.
Well, if they're my size,
how come I got room in
there for a whole nother foot?
Boys, do you see that sign?
Boys, I'd like to give you a
break, but I only work here.
My hands are tied.
Well, I guess if your hands
are tied and everything.
Well, if you'll excuse me.
I have to make a living.
What are we gonna do now, Wally?
Gee, I don't know, Beav.
I guess you'll just have to
go back to sitting in the library.
Hi, Dad.
Oh, hello, Beaver.
How'd it go today?
Oh, real neat, Dad.
That's good. You ought
to be a champ by now.
Oh, yeah, I'm getting
pretty good, Dad.
Those new skates made
quite a difference, huh?
They sure do, Dad.
I'm doing a lot of things now I
wouldn't do if I didn't have them.
Is that you, Beaver?
Yes, Mom.
Better get washed up for dinner.
It's almost ready.
Okay, Mom.
June.
Isn't he spending an awful
lot of time at that skating rink?
Oh, honey, he loves it so.
He spends more time at
the rink than he does at home.
Yeah, well, I guess he's
just taking after his father.
When I was his age I
practically lived on the ice.
And now you can hardly get
the ice trays out of the refrigerator.
Beaver, aren't you getting tired
of just hanging around
the library all the time?
I sure am.
There's nothing to
do there but read.
How come they got all
those books there, Wally?
Well, lots of people
like to go there and read.
Yeah, but I'll bet
I'm not the only one
that just goes there to hide.
How long are you
gonna keep pretending?
I don't know.
I guess till my
season ticket runs out.
Yeah, but that's
six weeks from now.
Yeah, but, gee, Wally.
If I quit sooner, Mom and
Dad will get suspicious.
And I got make them think
I'm getting my money's
worth out of these skates.
Boy, I sure wish Mom had
come with me when I bought them.
How come?
Well, then I could blame
her for getting the wrong size.
June.
Oh, June.
Yes, dear.
Uh, are you sure Beaver's
been skating everyday?
Of course, he comes
home late every day
with his skates around his neck.
Listen to this.
"Due to a broken pipe in
the refrigeration system,
"the Ice Palace was compelled
to close its doors yesterday.
The management expects to reopen
for business as usual on Monday."
Well, I don't get it.
Beaver said he was
there yesterday and today.
Well, I don't think
he's become so expert
he can ice skate without ice.
Well, Ward, you don't suppose
Beaver lie to us do you?
Well, what we might call lying
he might consider just
a convenient evasion.
Beaver!
Come down here. I
want to talk to you.
Did you notice something funny
about the way Dad sounded?
Yeah, and when he
sounds funny like that
it's nothing to laugh at.
I wonder what I did.
I've been taking baths
and it's in between
report cards.
I don't know, but
you better go down
and find out what it is.
Yeah.
Yes, Dad.
Uh, Beaver, I found something
in this evening's paper
I thought might interest you.
Oh, are you gonna read
me the funnies, Dad?
"Due to a broken pipe in
the refrigeration system,
"the Ice Palace was compelled
to close its doors yesterday.
The management expects to reopen
for business as usual on Monday."
Oh, well, that means I
can't go skating till Monday.
Thanks a lot, Dad.
Just a minute, Beaver.
This also says that the
Ice Palace has been closed
since yesterday.
Oh, it says that, huh?
Beaver, you said you were
there yesterday and today.
Yeah, but did I tell
you I was skating?
Yes, you did.
Oh.
All right, Beaver,
suppose you sit down there
and tell us what
this is all about.
Well, you know those
new skates I bought, Dad.
Well, I can't wear them
on account they're
way too big for me.
But I didn't want to tell you...
So you'd yell at me for buying
on myself and wasting my money.
Oh, Beaver.
Beaver, you should
have come to me anyway.
Well, gee, Dad. I'd almost do anything
rather to have you know I was dumb.
Oh, I see.
Well, where have you been
spending your afternoons?
The little goof has been sitting around
in the library pretending to be reading.
Beaver, why didn't you
just take the skates back
to the store where
you bought them?
Well, me and Wally tried that.
But the man wouldn't even exchange
them or give us our money back.
Yeah, Dad, he was
one of those salesmen
you just couldn't get a grip on.
You know, Dad,
I almost wish you hadn't
let me buy those skates.
Well, you insisted
on it, Beaver.
We did it to be nice to you.
Yeah.
But just for once,
I wish you would
have been mean to me.
Then I wouldn't
lost 13 whole dollars.
Well, I tell you what
I'm going to do, Beaver.
Tomorrow, I'm going to take
those skates back to the store
and get your money back.
Gee, Dad, I don't know.
They're kind of all scuffed up.
Yeah, Dad, and they
smell kind of used, too.
Well, they're not bad skates.
Maybe you can use them, Wally.
Oh, no, Mom.
That's all right there.
They're way too big for me, too.
Maybe some one else in
the family could use them.
Oh, June, you're not
gonna unload them on me.
Gee, Dad, skating
is a lot of fun
and we could do it together.
Well, sure, Dad.
You know how you're
always telling us you used
to live on the ice back
where you came from.
Yes, well, that
was a long time ago
and I'm not where I came from.
Gee, Dad, I'll even throw
in my dirty socks for nothing.
Beaver, that's not the point.
That salesman had no right
to sell you skates that
are way too big for you.
And I'm not going to
let him get away with it.
Well, gee, Dad, are
you gonna clobber him?
Well, I don't think I'll
have to clobber him,
but I am going to see
you get your money back
or a decent pair of skates.
You know, Dad, I should have
come to you in the first place.
Well, sure, Beav, you should have
know that Dad was good for stuff like this.
Once in a while, if
you just try your father
you'd be surprised at how
much stuff he's good for.
Yeah.
Gee, thanks a lot, Dad.
And, you know, Mom,
you're real good for stuff, too.
You know, Wally,
I've been thinking.
This stuff about giving
kids responsibility
can cost a lot of money.
Well, how's that, Beav?
Well, I almost lost $13
and had nothing to show for it.
Well, you learned
something didn't you?
Yeah, from now on I'm
going to let Mom and Dad
have the responsibility
and lose the money.
They can afford
it better than I can.
- Oh, hi, Dad.
- Hi, Dad.
Well, Beaver, there's
12 dollars and 95 cents.
Now, you've got
all your money back.
Did you have any trouble, Dad?
No, not much.
I had to threaten to go to
the Better Business Bureau
if he didn't give
us our money back.
Gee, thanks, Dad.
Well, Beaver, I think this
should be a good lesson for you.
Yeah, Dad, I think I
should learn responsibility
on candy bars and ice cream.
Well, I think you better learn
to handle reasonability
before you take it.
Well, sure, Dad.
But if you don't give
a kid reasonability,
how can he learn to handle it?
Well, Wally, I guess
that's just one of things
that gives parents gray hair.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA