Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 5 - Beaver's Cat Problem - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Hi, Beaver.

Hey, where'd you find him?

Oh, I didn't find
him. He found me.

When I came home from school,

he was sitting on the
porch waiting for me.

Hey, lookit.

He's washing himself.

Boy, if we washed
ourselves like that,

would we get yelled at.



Hey, who's it belong to?

Search me.

I looked on his collar
for a dog license,

but there wasn't any.

I'll bet you he's either
a Persian or an Angora.

He looks like some
sort of a rich cat.

I think I'm going to fix
him a box to sleep in.

Don't waste your time.

I can tell this is the kind of cat
people are going to come for.

Yeah, I guess so.

Hey, what did Mom say
when you brought him up here?

She didn't say a word.

You sneaked him up, huh?

Well, sure.



Maybe she wouldn't have minded.

Yeah, but I figured,
why take a chance?

Supper will be ready soon, Ward.

Oh, fine.

Say, are the boys home?

Mm-hmm. They're upstairs. Why?

They're certainly quiet.

Usually by this time, they've
been downstairs a couple of times

and eaten something,
ruined their supper,

or stolen my sports section.

Just because they're quiet doesn't
mean they're up to something.

Always did when I was a boy.

Get that, will you, dear?

I had a hard day at the office.

Hello.

Yes, this is Mrs. Cleaver.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Prentiss.

Have we what?

Oh.

No, I'm afraid not.

Well, I'm sure he'll turn up.

We certainly will.

Good-bye.

What was that all about?

That was Mrs. Prentiss
over on Lake Avenue.

She's lost her
precious Bootsy again.

Mr. Prentiss?

No, her cat.

He's run off again,

and she's calling
everyone around

to see if she can locate it.

I gather she's rather upset.

After all, that cat's
her pride and joy.

It is a beautiful
silver Persian.

If the cat shows up here,
I'll have him phone home.

You did have a hard day at
the office today, didn't you?

Better go see about my supper.

Wally, Beaver.

Yeah, Dad? Do
you want something?

Yes. Do you boys just happen
to have a cat up in your room?

We don't, but I guess I do.

Is it a silver Persian?

Gee, Dad, how'd you know?

Just putting two
and two together.

The cat's name is Bootsy,

and it belongs to Mrs. Prentiss

over on Lake Avenue,

and she's very
anxious to get it back.

Oh, I didn't drag it
in or anything, Dad.

It was sitting on the
porch waiting for me

when I got home from school.

Oh. Well, I'll go
ask your mother

to call Mrs. Prentiss and tell her
she can come over and get Bootsy.

Boy, Wally, I sure didn't
have that one long, did I?

Uh-uh.

How did Dad know?

I don't know.

Must be parents' intuition.

What's that?

That means you can't
get away with anything.

You mean they had Mrs.
Prentiss' cat up there all the time?

Yep. Beaver says it was on the
front porch when he came home.

You know, I'll bet they could
keep an elephant up there

without our knowing it.

I think when you went
to make up the beds,

you'd probably notice it.

Well, I better
call Mrs. Prentiss.

All right.

Oh, but have her
come over after supper.

I'd rather not cope with a woman
who calls her cat precious Bootsy

on an empty stomach.

Hey, Beaver.

I'm in here, Wally.

The lady's here for her cat.

Hey, Beaver, what are you doing?

I'm feeding him.

I wanted to get a little
more good out of him

before she took him away.

Hey, what's that it's eating?

Cold salmon.

After supper, I brought
some up in my pocket.

I think you better
get it down there

before Mrs. Prentiss
blows her top or something.

Does she look like
that kind of a lady?

No, but I think she might be

'cause Mom offered
her a cup of tea.

I just hope this is Bootsy.

I don't know what I'd do
if this was a false alarm.

Well, the cat was just waiting

when Beaver came home.

Oh, that Bootsy
has no conscience.

You'd be surprised
what he puts me through.

I'm sure he's your
cat, Mrs. Prentiss.

Why, it is my precious Bootsy.

Oh, I've been looking
everywhere for you.

Running away from home.

You bad, bad boy.

Oh, I don't think
he's a bad, bad boy.

I think he was just walking
around, and he got lost.

Why, Bootsy, you're all dusty.

Yeah, he chased a
ball under our bed.

Well, we're very happy that
it's your cat, Mrs. Prentiss.

I'm sure the boys took
very good care of it.

Oh, I'm sure they did, too.

And to show my appreciation,

I'd like to give them
both a little something.

Oh, I don't think they'd
want to take anything.

Oh, I'll bet they would if I
insisted, wouldn't you, boys?

Wouldn't you?

Oh, yes, ma'am.

There you are.

One for you, and
a dollar for you.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much, ma'am.

Well, I guess I better
be running along now.

Come on, Bootsy.

He's such a nice kitty.

Oh, I'm so glad to
have you back, Bootsy.

You're such a doll.

Thank you, Mrs. Cleaver,

and Mr. Cleaver, for calling me.

You're very welcome,
Mrs. Prentiss.

Yes, we're glad you have
your precious Bootsy back.

What's the matter, Bootsy?

I don't think he hurts or
anything, Mrs. Prentiss.

He does that all the time.

Oh. Well, good night.

Good night.

Good night, Bootsy.

Well, Beaver, in the future,

I think you better be
a little more careful

about bringing
cats in the house.

If you'd left him alone,

he'd probably have
gone home by himself,

and Mrs. Prentiss wouldn't
have had to worry so much.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I just brought it in so I
could talk to it for a while.

Sure, Dad, he couldn't
help it. He's just a kid.

I am not.

I just like to talk to animals.

Only kids like to
talk to animals.

I suppose Captain
Kangaroo is a kid.

All right, all right.
That's enough, fellas.

Beaver, I hope you won't take
in any more strange animals.

It makes quite a
problem for everybody.

In one way, you're lucky.

Well, that you
didn't feed Bootsy.

How come I'm lucky
I didn't feed him?

Everyone knows
that if you feed a cat,

he's bound to come back.

Then the first thing you
know, you can't get rid of him.

I'm afraid poor Mrs.
Prentiss would be very upset.

Yeah, I'm afraid she would, too.

Yeah. I guess she's the kind
of lady that gets upset easy.

Beaver, you be sure
and take a bath tonight.

You smell a little fishy.

Oh, sure, Mom.

That must be from when I
went fishing last Saturday.

Did you bring home strange
animals when you were their age?

Oh, sure.

Bringing home animals is
just part of being a boy, I guess.

Kids don't seem to do it as
much today as we used to.

Why do you suppose that is?

I don't know.

I guess they don't need
to talk to animals as much.

Nowadays, they
have psychiatrists.

Wally.

Hey, Wally.

Yeah? What do you want?

Are you asleep?

I wouldn't be talking to you

if I was asleep, would I?

Hey, Wally, do you think
Dad knows about cats?

I don't know.

He sure talks like
he knows about cats.

How come you're asking me all of
this stuff in the middle of the night?

'Cause I was wondering
if he was right about

cats coming back all
the time if you feed them.

Go to sleep, will you?

Okay.

Boy, what a brother.

He won't even keep you
company while you're worrying.

Wally.

Hey, Wally.

What is it now, Beaver?

I think I just heard a cat meow.

Cut it out. You were dreaming.

Yeah. Well, maybe I was.

Now am I dreaming?

Not unless I am, too.

We'd better do something
before it wakes up Mom and Dad.

Hey, Wally, maybe it's a burglar

pretending he's a cat.

Cut it out, Beaver. Burglars
aren't that corny anymore.

Come on.

It's Bootsy, all right.

Hey, Bootsy, what
are you doing here?

You know what it's doing here.

It wants another free handout.

Yeah. Hope we got
some more salmon.

Look, Beaver, if we feed it,

it'll keep coming back.

Sure, but if we don't feed it,

it'll make a lot of noise
and wake up Mom and Dad,

and they'll come
down and yell at us.

They'll yell at us more

if they find it around
here in the morning.

Sure, but morning's
a long time away.

If we feed it now, we can
get through the whole night

without getting yelled at.

Well, there's no salmon.

Here, let's feed him
some asparagus.

Beaver, he won't eat vegetables.

Cat's a carnivorous animal.

What's that?

Look, I don't have time
to explain biology to you.

Just get the milk.

Hey, what if he won't go
home after he finishes eating?

Then we're just going to
have to think of some other way

to keep him quiet.

Boy, Beaver, next time
you talk to an animal,

talk to a fish or something
else that can't come around

in the middle of the night.

You going to football
practice this morning, Wally?

Yeah, we're having
skull practice today.

Oh, Wally, that sounds
terribly dangerous.

You be sure and
wear your helmet.

Gee, Mom, it's not banging
your head against anything.

Coach is just going to show us
some new plays on the blackboard.

You be careful anyway.

Good morning, everybody.

Well, you certainly slept late.

That's what Saturdays are for.

Aren't they, Wally?

Gee, I don't know, Dad.

I got a bad habit of waking
up early to go to school.

Where's the Beaver?

He ate, and then he left
about a half an hour ago.

Got some kind of a
box out of the garage,

went back upstairs,
then he finally left

pulling a coaster wagon.

I hope he doesn't
have any of my tools.

The last time I
needed a screwdriver,

I wound up fixing your
steam iron with a nail file.

I know. Hasn't worked since.

Would you like to
be excused, Wally?

Oh. Sorry, Dad.

I must be getting forgetful.

I put an empty milk
bottle in the refrigerator.

I guess I did it, Mom.

Why would you put an empty
milk bottle in the refrigerator?

I don't know.

I guess I just didn't want
it smelling up the kitchen.

So long, Dad.

So long, Wally.

Thanks for breakfast, Mom.

You're welcome.

Did Beaver say he'd be
home in time for lunch?

No, he didn't say
so, but I think he will.

Mom.

If you think maybe the
Beaver's up to something,

he's not.

What'd you say that for?

I just said it so that, in case
maybe you thought he was,

you wouldn't worry.

I better get to practice.

Hi, Beaver.

Hi, Gilbert.

What are you doing?

Nothing. What are you doing?

I'm doing nothing, too.

If you're doing nothing, how
come you're pulling a wagon?

I don't know.

- What's in the box?
- A cat.

Oh, neat. Can I
help you bury it?

It's a live cat.

Oh.

I got to take him
over to a lady's house.

Can't the cat walk?

Sure, it can walk.

How come it's riding?

Is it such a rich cat you've
got to be a chauffeur?

No. I just don't
want it to get away.

Hey, do you want to
come with me to the lady's?

What for?

Well, she might yell at me,

and it's always better
to have two guys.

But I didn't do anything wrong.

Then you won't feel
bad if she yells at you.

Okay. Let me pull
the cat for a while.

Okay.

Do you know what
Wally said this morning?

What?

He asked me if he could be
a forest ranger next summer.

A forest ranger?

Eddie says they gave
a friend of his a job,

and all he had to do
was get up in the morning,

go down and measure the river,

and the government
paid him $313 a month.

Offhand, I'd say no.

But what do I say to
him if he asks me again?

Tell him to speak to me.

That ought to kill it.

I wish Beaver had told us

where he was going this morning.

We ought to make
that a rule around here

so we don't worry.

Sometimes I think if we really
knew where they were going,

we'd worry more.

By the way, where are you going?

Oh, I thought I'd play golf.

Oh.

You thought helping
me with the dishes

would make me more
receptive to the idea?

Exactly.

Naughty, naughty boy, you.

Roaming off again,

and waking up people
in the middle of the night.

He didn't wake me up.

I was already awake, worrying
whether he'd come back again.

Greedy old thing.

Eating at other people's houses.

I don't want you to ever
do a thing like that again.

Do you understand,
Bootsy Wootsy?

Gee, when I talk to
him, he doesn't listen.

I guess I should've tried
that "Bootsy Wootsy" on him.

Hey, Beaver, we got to
be going home, don't we?

Yeah, I guess we got to.

Well, you boys were both
very nice to do this for me.

I just came along in case you
were going to yell at Beaver.

Now just a moment, Theodore.

This calls for a little reward.

Oh, no, my father wouldn't
want me to take anything.

Nonsense.

You went to a lot of trouble.

Yes, but I got the money

for the trouble I
went to yesterday.

Now, Beaver, I insist.

No, Mrs. Prentiss, I...

Well, okay. I wouldn't want
you being mad at me or anything.

Well, now, Bootsy,

you're going right
out to your run,

and this time, you're
going to behave yourself,

and you're going to
be a good, good boy.

Good-bye, Mrs. Prentiss.

Good-bye, and thanks
a lot for not yelling at me.

Good-bye, boys.

Say good-bye,
Bootsy. Bye to the boys.

Hey, Gilbert, which
do you think is better...

One double ice cream
cone or two singles?

Well, there's more ice
cream in two singles,

but then you're stuck with
having to eat two cones.

Yeah, with a double, you're
only stuck to eat one cone.

Yeah.

Hey, Beaver, look.

Gee whiz, it's Bootsy.

Gee, Gilbert, what
am I going to do now?

Let's take it back to the
lady and get another dollar.

No, I can't do that.

I'm going to go tell
my mom and dad.

Boy, Beaver, you're really
desperate, aren't you?

Hey, Mom, Dad.

And then, Mrs. Prentiss came
over and got her Bootsy again.

She didn't say anything,

but I think she's getting
a little tired of this.

I guess it does look
a little suspicious.

She probably thinks
Beaver's working a racket

to get a dollar out
of her each time.

Honey, we just can't have
Bootsy coming over here

every day and night.

It's quite a problem.

How do you discourage
a cat that likes your home

better than he does his own?

Hey, Dad, I think we found
a way to get rid of Bootsy.

Yeah. I called
the animal shelter,

and the guy there said that if
there's a dog around the place,

a cat will usually stay away.

Yeah, the barking
scares him away.

Well, that's fine,

but where do we
get a dog right now?

Gilbert's got this
dog that barks at cats.

Maybe we could rent him.

Yeah, and I'm a real
good friend of Gilbert's dog.

I'll bet he'd be glad to come
over here and bark for nothing.

What do you think, Ward?

Well, if we tied the dog
up so it couldn't hurt the cat,

it certainly might
be worth trying.

I'll go call Gilbert and
tell him it's an emergency,

and all that stuff.

Hey, Dad, if this doesn't work,

I read somewhere
where they scared

a bunch of birds
away from this airport

by playing rock
and roll records.

Thanks, Wally, but I don't think
we're quite that desperate yet.

Boy, Gilbert, your dog looks
like a real cat scarer, all right.

Sure. He's real neat.

Hey, here comes Bootsy.

He's going, he's going!

Hiya, Archie boy.

That was a good boy.

Come on.

Take that hamburger.

You deserve it, Archie boy.

Well, dear, I think
the problem of Bootsy

has finally been solved.

Well, I certainly hope so.

He was harder to get rid
of than your Uncle Billy.

Thanks.

You're sweet.

Hey, Wally, no fooling.

Did you ask Mom if you could
be a forest ranger this summer?

Yeah, but she
told me to ask Dad,

so I'm going to forget it.

Hey, what's that?

What's what?

Hey, it's Gilbert's dog Archie.

I recognize his voice. Come on.

What in the world's he up to?

Search me, Dad.

Oh, I think I did it again.

Did what again?

Well, when Archie
chased the cat away,

I fed him.

Hey, Dad, looks like we're
going to have to get a lion

to chase the dog away, huh?

Well, we can't let this go on.

I better feed him.

What have we got to give him?

I don't know?

- Bread and milk maybe?
- No.

June, where are the boys?

We don't want to
be late for church.

They're all dressed.

Oh, Wally.

Where's the Beaver?

He's out in front, Dad.

He said he wanted to have
a little talk with Gilbert's dog.

Talking with the dog?

Gee, Archie, it was nice of
you to help us get rid of Bootsy,

but you can't hang
around here all the time.

You've got a nice home
where everybody likes you.

So why don't you go there?

Go home, Archie.

Archie, go home.

Hey, Beaver, Archie
really went home.

Sure. I told him, and he went.

It's a lot easier talking
to dogs than it is to cats.

Cats are very smart,
though, Beaver.

It's just that when you call
someone Bootsy Wootsy,

he's inclined to
be a little difficult.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
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