Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 30 - The Merchant Marine - full transcript

Angry with his dad for taking his car keys away, Lumpy Rutherford decides to secretly join the Merchant Marine Corp and has the enlistment information sent to the Cleaver's address instead of his own. Trying to be a good friend, Wally hides the Corp literature in his room; but, when June finds it while cleaning, she's sure that a break-up with his girlfriend and a recent reprimand from Ward have made Wally unhappy enough to leave home.

[Announcer] Starring...

and...

Beaver, you've been a
big help to me tonight.

Oh, that's okay, Mom.

Boy, Dad and Wally have
been in the den a long time.

He must really be mad at him.

We're both angry
with your brother.

Came home two hours
late, missed his supper,

and he didn't even phone.

Yeah, but I'm glad Dad
took Wally in the den.

'Cause I don't like to be around
when Wally's getting yelled at.



It always ends up
with Dad saying,

"And let this be a lesson
to you, too, Beaver."

If Wally just phoned,
everything would've been fine.

Yeah, I know, Mom.

But when you're
having a good time,

you don't think of phoning.

'Course, when you get
home and you get yelled at,

it sorta evens things up.

Why are you staring at me?

I just wanted to see
how bad Wally got it.

Well, I gave it to him
pretty good, Beaver.

Coming home late, not
phoning, and missing his dinner.

I'm just not gonna put
up with that kind of thing.

And I just hope this'll be a
lesson to you, too, Beaver.



Yes, sir.

I hope you weren't too
rough on Wally, dear.

Well, I had to be
firm with him, dear.

He's old enough not
to pull this kind of thing.

Well, of course, but can't you
be firm without getting angry?

Well, I haven't found a way yet.

Is it all right if I
come in, Wally?

Okay. But don't talk to me.

You really got it, huh?

Yeah.

Dad said I should've called him.

And then I said I did
call, but the line was busy.

Did you really try to call?

Yeah.

And then he said I
should've kept trying.

Then I said I would've been
in the phone booth all night.

Well, that makes sense.

What did Dad say?

He said not to give
him any backtalk.

Oh. You know, Wally,

I once saw this movie where
this kid made a million dollars

and he threw his
father out of the house.

Yeah, I saw that movie too.

But I'd never do it.

Me, neither.

I'd buy him another
house or something.

[horn honks]

Ward, I couldn't wait
for you to get home.

Glad to hear it. That's
the way it should be.

I found this in Wally's room.

The Merchant Marine.

And it's addressed to Wally.

"In reply to your
request for information

"regarding service in
the Merchant Marine,

we have enclosed the booklet
'You and the Merchant Marine'.

"If further
information is desired,

please feel free to contact us."

Where'd you find it?

In one of Wally's drawers.

I found it when I was
putting his shirts away.

Well, I just don't
get this at all.

Wally, thinking of going
into the Merchant Marine?

Ward, I've been thinking
about the other night

when you lectured Wally
for coming home late.

Do you think that could have
had anything to do with it?

Oh, I don't think so.

Wally just wouldn't
do anything like this

without talking
to us about it first.

But you were pretty
harsh with him.

Well, yeah, but under
the circumstances,

I think he realized he
had it coming to him.

Maybe he needed some
information about the Merchant Marine

for a school assignment.

Ward, I'm afraid there's
more to it than that.

And I think we should
find out what's going on.

I'm home, Mom, Dad.

Hey, Dad, if a guy
tripped on our porch steps,

could he sue you?

Well, Beaver, under
certain circumstances...

- Did someone trip?
- No, not yet.

But Gilbert says if you're insured,
it wouldn't cost you anything,

and then if he sued you,

he'd get that neat new
midget racer he's been wanting.

Yes, well, I think it
would be just as well

if you don't encourage
Gilbert to trip on our steps.

Okay, Dad. I'll
tell him to forget it.

Oh, say, Beaver.

Maybe you could
help us on something.

Do you happen to know if
anything's been bothering Wally lately?

Yeah. Last week, he
had a thing on his big toe.

But that fell off.

No. I mean has anything
upset him mentally?

Yeah. Well, I guess
you'll find out anyway,

so I might as well tell you.

Last week, him and Mary
Ellen Rogers had a big fight.

Now, she won't give him
back his letterman sweater.

Ward, I don't think
that's the real trouble.

Beaver, has Wally
ever said anything to you

about the other night
when he came home late?

Boy, I'll say.

You really must've
given it to him, Dad.

I've never seen him that shook
up all the time I've been his brother.

Gilbert's waiting for me.

Oh, Ward, this is a shame.

Poor Wally, being so upset
that he wants to leave home.

I'm inclined to agree.

Well, I guess we just
have to show Wally

more consideration
in the future.

Maybe I was a
little too hard on him.

Ward, I think you should
sit down, have a talk with him

when he comes home.

I think we ought to be
more subtle than that, June.

The thing to do is to
just gently let him know

that we love him and
that this is his home

and we want him
to be happy in it.

A good place to start
would be at supper tonight.

Maybe he'd open up to us.

When I was his age and
had a fight with my father,

I used to just go out to the
barn and hide for a while.

Yes, but joining the Merchant
Marines is a lot different

than sitting out in the hayloft.

Well, Wally, what kind
of a day did you have?

Oh, it was all right, I guess.

I notice you went
right out again

after you came home from school.

Yeah. Yeah, I went
right out again. I...

Me too. I was messing
around with Gilbert.

Well, that's fine, Beaver.

You know, Wally,
I've been thinking.

It's not going to be long
before we have to start

planning our summer vacation.

I've been sort of considering
Crystal Lake for this year.

You know, they have
nice accommodations,

and we could rent a boat and
you do like boats, don't you?

Oh, boy, Dad. Crystal
Lake and a boat.

That'll really be neat.

How 'bout you, Wally?

Well, sure, Dad. I love boats.

Could you pass the milk, please?

Yes. Of course,

boating on a lake is
not quite the same thing

as on the ocean.

No, I guess not.

Yes. I guess a life on the
ocean waves has a lot of appeal.

Yeah, I guess
it... I guess it does.

But the important thing about this
vacation is that we'll all be together.

And I'm sure... [doorbell rings]

Oh, I'll get it. That's
probably Lumpy.

I'm finished anyway.
Could I be excused?

I suppose so, Wally.

Hey, Wally, did any
more stuff come?

Shh. Pipe down, will you?

What's the matter? Is your
pop sleeping or something?

Come on. I'll tell you upstairs.

Did you ever notice how Lumpy Rutherford
always shows up around dinnertime?

Well, ten minutes earlier,

and we'd have been
stuck to offer him dessert.

All right, what's going on?

Boy, Lumpy, you've
gotten me in a mess,

having all that Merchant
Marine junk mailed to my house.

I had to, Wally.

If I'd had it sent to my house,

and my pop found out I was
gonna join the Merchant Marines,

he'd've killed me.

Yeah, but the way my
folks were talking tonight,

I think they must've seen some of
that junk in the drawer or something.

Look, Lump, before
everything gets all honked up,

I'm just gonna have
to tell them the truth.

You can't, Wally.

Your pop works with my dad.

And if he finds out,
it'll wreck everything.

Okay, so it wrecks everything.

Look, Lump, I think you ought to at
least wait till you finish high school

before you go running off
to sea like Lloyd Bridges.

No. My mind's made up.

My dad was in the wrong,

and I'm gonna
teach him a lesson.

Look, Lump, all he did

was take away
the keys to your car.

Yeah, but he always
treats me like a little baby.

And I'm gonna show him
I'm a grown-up, adult man.

Well then, why
don't you act like one

and talk to him,
instead of running away?

Well, I tried to talk
to him last night.

But he got on that kick
about what a creepy son I was.

So I got mad and ran upstairs
and locked myself in my room.

Hey, did any of that
stuff come in the mail?

No. Just that
booklet I gave you.

Yeah, well, the application ought
to be showing up any day now.

Yeah, and what if my
folks see that in the mail?

What am I supposed
to tell them, huh?

Well, don't tell them anything.

Don't worry. I'll make
it up to you, Wally.

When I get to Zanzibar, I'll send
you a shrunken head or something.

Mr. Cleaver, please.
This is Mrs. Cleaver.

Thank you.

Ward? I hate to bother you
like this, but the mail just came.

And there's another letter from
the Merchant Marine for Wally.

Well, I don't know.

I guess it was some sort
of a form or something.

Well, June, there's
obviously more to this

than just idle correspondence,

but I just can't figure Wally
joining the Merchant Marine

without at least
talking to us first. I-I...

Oh, June, we'll discuss
this further when I get home.

Good-bye. Hi, Fred.

Problems at home, Ward?

Problems?

I heard that bit about Wally
and the Merchant Marine.

Oh.

You don't need to be
afraid to confide in me.

I'm a father, too, you know.

I can see you're pretty
well shaken up over all this.

Well, Fred, since you
practically know the whole story,

I suppose there's no real reason

why I shouldn't
discuss it with you.

Hold it, hold it.

Now.

Well, Fred, actually, no
crime has been committed.

It's just that Wally's been
receiving some correspondence

from the Merchant Marine and,
well, under the circumstances,

June and I can't help wondering
if he's really thinking of joining up.

I'm going to level
with you, old friend.

I know that's the way
you'd want it, right?

Well, yes, but...

This whole situation
boils down to one thing.

Just one solitary thing.

Ward, you and your boy
just aren't close enough.

Oh, now just a minute, Fred.

We're looking for the
truth, right, old man?

- Yes, Fred.
- Good.

You have to be next to
your boy every minute

if you want to know
what's going on.

Now, you take my
Clarence and myself.

We have a beautiful
father and son relationship,

and because of
that relationship,

I know my boy.

Yes, sir. I know my boy.

No, Lump, my mom
never leaves it downstairs.

Whenever I get mail, she al...

Oh, here it is.

Let's see. Merchant Marine.

Hey, man, this is it.

Application.

Okay, Lump, I
went along with you,

but now I'm through.

I don't want any more
of your mail coming here.

Relax, buddy boy. I don't
need your post office anymore.

I'm as good as in.

All I gotta do is fill
out this application.

Proof of citizenship,

character references...

Hey, maybe you could get Mr. Hodgson, that
guy that lives next door to you, and...

I don't think so. He's the reason
my father took my car keys away.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. When I backed
into his gate and busted it,

he told my father I was
an unresponsible driver.

Anybody can have an accident.

Well, that's what I
told him last time,

when I knocked down
his mailbox and fence.

Schools attended.

Nearest relatives.

Gee, there's a
lot of stuff on this.

Think I'll take it home and sneak
it up to my room and fill it out there.

Hey, Lump, pretty soon I know I'm gonna
have to tell my father about all this.

I can't let him think that
all this stuff's coming to me.

That's okay. You
can tell him now.

Doesn't matter.
Since I got this, I'm in.

All aboard.

Hey, that's for trains.

Oh.

- Hi, dear.
- Hi.

Anything new with Wally?

I just this minute got home
and I haven't seen him.

But Beaver told
me he was upstairs.

Well, your phone call
almost ruined my day.

Well, honey, I thought
you'd want to know.

But I must say, you
cut me off rather short.

I couldn't help it. Fred
Rutherford walked in

right in the middle
of our conversation.

Oh, I suppose he
knows all about it now.

Well, you know Fred. Anything
that goes on in our building,

from the furnace room to
the roof garden, he's in on it.

Well, Ward, it's
still our problem,

and I think you have to settle
this with Wally as soon as possible.

I know it, dear. I'm
going to right now.

[knocking, door opening]

Oh, hi, Dad.

Hi, Wally. You busy?

No, I'm not busy.

Just doing my homework.

Oh. Well, maybe that can
wait for a little while, huh?

Oh, sure, Dad.

Uh...

Wally, this business
about the Merchant Marine.

Oh. You know about that, huh?

Your mother and I are
quite concerned, son.

A career in the Merchant
Marine's a fine thing,

but we don't think any boy
should quit school and just take off.

Well yeah, Dad, I know.

That's what I've been
trying to tell Lumpy.

Clarence?

Well yeah, Dad. Lumpy's
the guy that wants to join.

You see, he had a
big fight with his father.

That's why he had me
write away for the stuff

and have it sent to our house.

So his father wouldn't get wise.

Well, that makes
me feel a little better.

Wally, how serious is Clarence

about going into the
Merchant Marine?

Well, at first I thought
he was just bluffing,

but he's gonna send in his application
as soon as he gets it filled out.

Well, this puts me in kind
of an awkward position.

Gee, how come, Dad?

Well, with Fred and me both
working in the same office

and being rather
close friends, I...

Well, knowing what I
know, I can't very well

just stand by and
not say anything.

Well, gee, Dad.

You see, Lumpy
isn't as lucky as I am.

Beaver and me.

You see, he's kind of got a
feeling that his father's against him.

Oh, I see.

Yeah.

If you could... If you could just
hold off telling Mr. Rutherford,

I tried to talk some sense
into Lumpy, but I think

if I really leveled with him,
I could talk him out of it.

All right, Wally. You
go ahead and try.

But if it doesn't work,
as one parent to another,

I'm going to have to tell Fred.

Oh sure, Dad, I know.

I guess... I guess you
parents have to stick together

if you're gonna keep
ahead of us kids.

[footsteps]

Has anybody seen Wally?

Yeah, he went in to
phone Clarence Rutherford.

Oh.

Beaver, don't you feel better

knowing that your brother's

not going in the
Merchant Marine?

I suppose so.

You suppose so? Don't you know?

Well gee, Dad, I was
bragging to all the kids

how my brother was
gonna become a sailor

and he'd probably come
back with daggers and snakes

tattooed all over his arms.

Well, I think we're all happier

knowing that
Wally's not leaving.

And, Beaver?

Yes, Mom?

Beaver, your father and
I both want you to know

if you ever have a problem,

we want you to come
and talk it over with us.

That's right, son.

If anything's ever bothering
you, don't keep it to yourself.

You come to us with
it, and be assured

that we'll understand, right?

Well, gee, Dad,
it sounds so neat,

I wish I was in
trouble right now.

Oh, how'd you make
out with Lumpy?

He wasn't home, Dad.

Boy, I sure hope he
hasn't done anything goofy.

Well, maybe he went down to the ocean
to pick out the boat he wants to be on.

Are his parents worried?

Not Fred.

He knows his boy.

He's right next to
his son every minute.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Ward, you're going
to have to talk to Fred

before Clarence
really does something.

Hey, Wally, Lumpy's here.

I'll be right there.

Well now, this works out fine.

You take him upstairs and do
your best to talk him out of it, son.

I'll sure try, Dad.

Well, what are you
standing there for?

I was waiting for your
kid brother to scram.

I didn't want him to see this.

Come on in.

Hey, how about stashing
this thing away for me?

- What is it?
- A sea bag.

Shh.

What's the matter?

Look, Lumpy, if my dad sees this,
he's really gonna call your father.

Where'd you get it anyway?

I got it at a surplus store.

And I got all my clothes
and stuff packed inside

so I'll be ready to take
off when they call me.

Why don't you take
it over to Eddie's?

Are you kidding? That guy'd
probably hock it, bag and all.

I'd have to go aboard
my ship in my underwear.

Help me boost it up on my back.

Seasick pills?

Yeah. I'm gonna give them
to the captain as a present.

Come on.

Ah. Nobody'll find it there.

Lump, sit down a minute.

Wally, don't talk like that.
You sound just like my father.

Now look, Lump, I just
want to ask you something.

Have you really taken time out
and thought about what you're doing?

Sure. That's all
I've thought about.

Well, so have I, and
it comes down to this.

It's either staying in high
school and graduating

or joining the Merchant Marine.

Wally, you mean you
decided to go in with me?

No. Now, will you listen to
me a minute, you big goof?

Okay, I'm listening,
I'm listening.

[Beaver] Hey, Wally, telephone.

[Wally] Okay.

Who is it?

Nobody. Just that creepy
sweater stealer, Mary Ellen.

Hello?

Well, sure I'm going to
school tomorrow. Why?

Well, no. You don't have to give
me my sweater back, Mary Ellen.

What?

Oh. No, I want you to wear it.

No, you didn't, Mary Ellen.

- I'm the guy who started it.
- Beaver.

That junky talk. Ick.

Beaver.

You did? Well, it's
not true, Mary Ellen.

Honest.

Okay. Yeah, I'll see
you tomorrow at school.

That's funny.

Somebody told Mary Ellen I was
gonna join the Merchant Marines.

Wonder where she got that from.

Okay, Beaver.

Well, sure I told
everybody, Wally.

Why should I leave her out
just 'cause she's a nutty girl?

You know, Wally,

if he hadn't told her, she
might never have phoned you.

Yeah, maybe so.

How you coming
along with Clarence?

No good, Dad. He
won't listen to me at all.

He even brought over all his
stuff, all packed so he can take off.

Wally, I'm going to have
to do something about this.

Yeah, it's okay with me, Dad.
You can do whatever you want.

I'm not getting
anywhere with the guy.

He just sits there with
that silly grin on his face.

Yeah, he's a real dodo.

Fred?

Yes. I don't have much choice.

Well, hello. Fred? Ward.

Yes, Ward.

Uh, Fred, I don't know

quite how to put this.

Is this about the lad, Ward?

Well, yes, Fred.

You see, Wally and
I... I'm glad you called.

Now, just sit tight
and don't do anything

you'll be sorry
for later, old man.

I'll be right over.

Fred. Fred?

Oh, come in, Fred.

Well, Ward, old boy, you
don't look too bad, considering.

Fred, let's go in here.

Now, first off, let's
look at the big picture.

This must be handled
in an adult manner.

I know at a time like this,

we're inclined to let
our emotions take over.

Look, Fred, would you
hold off just a minute?

You see, the reason I...

Well, this is about that
Merchant Marine thing, isn't it?

- Yeah, right, which is...
- Hey, Dad.

Oh. Excuse me.
We didn't know that...

Oh, sit down, Wally. This is
something you should hear.

And it won't hurt you to
hear it either, Clarence.

- But Daddy...
- Sit down and listen.

Now, let's get to the point,
no beating around the bush.

What we're faced with here
is the fact that we have a boy

who wants to run away to sea

and a father who
hasn't shown that boy

the proper understanding.

Now, let me give as an
illustration my own domicile,

where everything's on
a give-and-take basis.

Now, if my Clarence
had taken this notion,

frankly, I would have
been disappointed.

But I wouldn't put my foot down.

No. I'd put forth a greater effort
to make him happy in his home.

You would, Daddy?

Yes, I would, son.

Would you even give
me back my car keys?

Uh, yes, if it would make you
more secure in your environment.

Gee, Daddy, it sure would.

Well, Wally, Ward,

I hope I've put my point across

and you've learned
something from all this.

Yeah, Fred, we certainly have.

Good. Come on, son.

Yes, Daddy.

Here, Wally.

- What is it?
- The Merchant Marine
application.

Maybe you can use it. You heard
Daddy say he doesn't want me to go away.

Clarence! Get out here.

Not you too.

What?

Joining the Merchant Marine?

This belongs to Clarence.

Hey, he was pretty
serious, wasn't he?

What did Fred have to say today?

Did he find out the truth,

that it was actually
Lumpy and not Wally?

Oh, he probably did, but if
so, I'd be the last one to know.

[door opens]

Oh, hi.

Oh, thanks, Mom. Lumpy's
waiting out in the car for this.

Yeah. He's gonna sneak
it back up into his room

so his dad won't take
his car keys away again.

Oh. Then Fred kept
his promise, huh?

Yeah. Lumpy got his
car keys back last night.

Oh, Mom, would it be
okay if Lumpy drops me off

at the malt shop
on his way home?

The malt shop?

Yeah, he wants to sit there
and look at his sweater.

Yes, Wally, it's okay.

Thanks, Mom. Bye.

Bye.

Boy, I hope I never
get that flaky over a girl.

Well, you know
something, Beaver?

It wasn't more than
two or three years ago

that Wally was
saying the same thing.

And now look at him.

Yeah. Now look at him.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA