Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 3 - Wally's Car - full transcript

Without telling his parents beforehand, Wally buys a non-operating jalopy for $25, hoping that he can fix it up and get it running by the time he learns to drive. But Ward and June - more so the latter - don't feel he should have a car, especially such a broken down one, at his young age. So he agrees to get rid of it, but asks for a couple of days to be able to sell it so that he can get his money back. In those two days with no prospective buyers in sight, the car causes some problems in blocking their functioning car from getting up and down their single drive driveway, and for the Cleavers now being seen as the bad neighbors with the junk in their front yard. Ultimately, Ward and Wally take different paths in figuring out how to get rid of the car without taking a financial beating.

Starring...

and...

- Hi.
- Hi.

That 18 holes took
longer than usual.

That 18 holes took longer than
usual because we played 27 holes.

First time you've done
that in a long while.

Oh, course wasn't very crowded,

and I was hitting
the ball pretty well.

And if you got home too early,

you might feel obliged
to work in the yard.

Exactly.



How did things go around here?

Actually it's been pretty quiet.

It was pretty quiet.

Hey, Lumpy, thanks for
shoving me all the way over here,

but what did you have
to push me so fast for?

The way this heap was rattling,

I figured it would fall
apart most any minute,

and I didn't want
to get a ticket

for messing up the city streets.

See you later, Wally.

Wait a minute, Lumpy.

Why don't you hang around?
We'll take a look at the motor.

Maybe we can get it started.

I would, but I got a date



to help Christine Webber
make ice cream for a party.

Hey, Christine.

You're getting in
the big leagues.

Well, she won't be there.

She's going to the movies
with Barney Harrison.

Oh.

Well, maybe in a
couple of years, Lumpy,

she'll go to the
movies with you.

Thanks again.

Hey, Wally,
where'd you get this?

I bought it off a guy.

You mean it's your very own?

Yeah.

Boy, Wally, I thought your
first car would be crummy,

but this one's really neat.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

- Hi.
- What's all this?

Gee, Dad, it's a car.

Wally, you mean to tell me
you went out and bought a car

without even bothering
to ask my permission?

Well, I was going to try to break
it to you a little easier than that.

Why, it's nothing but a wreck,

and you don't even
have a driver's license yet.

I know, Mom,

but, heck, it only cost me $25.

I thought I could work
on it until I get my license.

It would be good experience.

I suppose it would.

- Well, maybe...
- Ward.

Can I see you in the house?

Of course.

Hey, Wally?

Yeah?

Is it okay if I sit in your car?

Look... Look, why don't
you wait till a little later, huh?

No, I better do it now.

You might not
have the car later.

Okay, go ahead.

Ward, you said Wally couldn't
have a car until he was older.

I want him to get rid of it.

Dear, he's just going to
keep it here and work on it.

Ward, if he gets it running,

the next thing, he's
going to want to drive it.

Now, I think he
should get rid of it now.

I'm going to have to
go at this kind of easy.

You know, after
all, his first car.

It's a big thing in his life.

Believe me, it's a big
thing in our lives, too.

It's going to take a lot of tact
and understanding to handle this.

Ward, I realize that,

but I just think that
car is all wrong.

Now, for my sake, would you
please tell him to get rid of it

before there's any trouble?

All right, dear. All
right, I'll tell him.

Uh, after dinner tonight.

Give the glow a little
chance to wear off.

Yeah. Yeah.

So, Wally, your
mother and I both feel

that the best solution

is just to get rid of it now.

Gee, Dad, all I want
to do is work on it

and see if I can get it running.

But, Wally, if you
did get it running,

then you'd be disappointed
when you couldn't drive it.

But I didn't figure to drive.

I just thought maybe I could take
it around the block or something.

Son, it doesn't
make any difference

whether you drive
it around the block

or drive it to California.

You still have to
have a driver's license,

and you have to have insurance.

Insurance?

Well, of course.

Ownership means responsibility.

Do you have any idea how much
the insurance premium would be

on a car like that?

About $200.

$200 just for a $25 car?

And don't forget,

there's registration and legal
papers tied up with buying a car.

Gee, Dad, you don't
have to worry about that.

We made it real legal.

I got the bill of sale
that Joel made out

while I gave him the money.

Think I got it here somewhere.

Excuse me.

Ward, you better start
thinking about getting ready.

The Algers are
having an early dinner.

I didn't realize
it was this late.

Dad, here's the bill of sale.

See right there,
paragraph one...

"one hand-painted motor vehicle

guaranteed in good condition

except that it doesn't run.

Paragraph two...

"Not responsible for
any parts falling off of it

"on the way home.

Signed, Joel Schaffer."

Hm.

Wally, I want you to get
rid of this car right now

before it causes
a lot of trouble.

Well, okay, Dad, if I have to,

but would you give
me a couple of days

so I can sell it and
get my money back?

All right,

but right now your mother and
I have a date with the Algers.

Oh. Oh, yes, sir.

I sure hope you
have a nice time, Dad.

Thank you very much,

but your guaranteed
jalopy that doesn't run

is blocking the driveway.

Gee, Dad, you don't
have to worry about that.

You can just do like Lumpy did,

you know, shove
it out with your car

and then shove it back in.

Simple.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hm.

You got the brake off?

Oh, yes, sir.

Be sure it's in neutral.

I'm looking for it, Dad.

Well, find a place where
it wobbles back and forth.

Gee, Dad, wherever you put
it, it wobbles back and forth.

There. That feels like it.

Okay, Dad.

Wally!

What was that noise?

Gee, Dad, I don't know.

It sounded neat,

like the guys when
they tear up the street.

I don't think you
had it in neutral.

Gee, Dad, I thought I did.

Yeah? Now it's stuck. That's
what's locking the wheels.

Gosh, Dad, I'm sorry.

Ward. Honey, we
should be leaving now.

Yes, dear, I know
we should, but how?

What?

Wally's got my car
blocked, and his...

His hand-painted motor
vehicle won't move.

Oh, dear.

Ward, I told you he
should get rid of it.

Oh, he will.

Wally, maybe we
could rock it off.

Honey, you're all dressed

and we don't have much time.

Yes, I'll... All
right, dear, I'll...

I'll call a cab.

Hey, Wally, the cigar
lighter pops out real neat.

Boy, Wally, as long as
we've been living with Dad,

I've never seen him so mad.

Yeah, this is the first
time he's been so mad

he couldn't even yell.

If I don't get that car
out of the driveway

so he can get to
work in the morning,

he's even going to be madder.

What are you going to do, Wally,

call a tow truck
with red lights?

Hey, Lumpy... Hey,
I got an emergency.

Can you round up
a bunch of the guys

and get right over here?

Yeah, and will you bring
some of your car tools?

Okay, thanks a lot.

Hey, Wally?

You think you guys
can get it to go?

Sure we can.

But how?

You don't know
anything about cars.

Look, Beaver,

as soon as a guy gets over 15,

he automatically knows
everything about cars.

Oh.

Well, what do you guys
think I should do with it?

I'd take off the
factory resonators

and put on some scavengers.

And get yourself a tachometer to
keep the engine from being over-revved.

And a racing cam
and solid lifters

so the thing will get up and go.

If it were mine, I'd boost
up the compression.

Okay, okay, I'll
do all that later,

but right now all I want to do

is get the thing to run.

Relax, Sam.

We're in no pain.

We'll have this kid
humming in nothing flat.

You check out the box,
you remove the pan,

and you get the drive shaft.

Hey, you guys really
think we can fix it?

- Yeah, it's easy.
- A breeze.

There's nothing to it.

Lump, you get down underneath
and start taking down the clutch.

I'm not allowed to
get these pants dirty.

I borrowed them from Daddy.

Oh, come on, Lump.

It's got me beat.

This must've been
one of them lemons.

You know something, Wally?

I think you should've
got yourself a later model,

like a '41 or a '42.

Hey, guys, look. It moves.

Boy, it ought to.

There's nothing
left in it to stop it.

Look, let's...

Let's push it off the
driveway over there

so at least my father can
get his car out of the garage.

That's good.

Well, I got to be
taking off, Wally.

Yeah, me, too.

- I gotta go, too, Wally.
- Yeah, Wally.

Wait a minute. What about
putting all this stuff back?

There's nothing to it.

Yeah, it just goes back
the way it came out.

Yeah, but that's a big job.

I'm going to need some help.

Look, Wally.

This goes up
underneath the thing

and bolts under the deal

and ties in with
the rest of the jazz.

It's a can of corn.

I'll see you, Wally.

Take it easy, Wally.

- Bye, Wally.
- So long.

Beaver!

Hey, Beaver!

Well, operator, will you
keep ringing, please?

I know there's someone
there. It's my home.

Ward? Did you get the boys?

No, they don't seem to answer.

Well, it's kind of
late, you know.

They're probably in bed.

Come on, let's not bother them.

Operator?

Operator, never mind.

Ward?

You don't suppose they got that car
started and went somewhere, do you?

Dear, if they got that
car to move an inch,

it's the greatest
automotive triumph

since the spare tire.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Wally, what are you doing?

Why, you know that
it's almost midnight?

Hi, Mom. Did you have
a nice time at the party?

Wally, Beaver, you get
up from there right now

and get upstairs to bed.

- Good night, Dad.
- Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad.

Ward, this is a disgrace.

I know it is.

Let's just be
thankful it's dark.

Gee, Wally, it's a neat car.

How come Mom and
Dad don't appreciate it?

I don't know.

I guess when you
get old like that,

you don't get a charge
out of stuff anymore.

Oh.

Wally, you are going to get
rid of that old heap, aren't you?

Sure, Mom,

but Dad gave me
a couple of days.

I figure last
night didn't count.

Well, I hope you don't
try your father's patience.

Yeah, you wouldn't want
to get him in a hitting mood.

Yes, Ward, both the boys
are home from school,

and I think Wally must
be getting rid of the car

because they're up there
now picking up the pieces.

Mm-hm.

Well, I certainly
will be happier

when it's gone.

You going to put these hunks
things back in the car, Wally?

Nah, by the time I would have
figured out where everything went,

it would be the end of the week.

Yeah,

and if the car's around
at the end of the week

and Dad's around at
the end of the week,

I don't want to be around
at the end of the week.

Me neither.

So what are you
going to do, Wally?

I don't know,

but I've got to find
some way to get rid of it.

Hey, Wally, I know.

You could have Lumpy
push it down to the dump

and send it over a cliff,

like I saw in a movie.

Boy, it's really neat.

Crash, bang, ca-pow!

Sal Mineo was in it,

but he wasn't really in it

because he showed up at the
end of the picture playing drums.

Beaver, I just can't junk it.

I paid $25 for that car.

It was practically
all the money I had.

Yeah.

Hey, I know.

If that Joel guy could find
somebody flaky enough to buy it,

I could do the same thing.

Yeah, Wally, you might find
somebody as flaky as you are.

Hey, Wally, what's up?

Oh, hi, Eddie.

Hey, maybe you can help me.

I'm going to sell the car,

and I thought I'd advertise
it in the newspaper.

Yeah, where you going to put it,

the obituary column?

Boy, Eddie, that's pretty funny.

You're very discerning, Junior.

Come on, cut the clowning.

Trying to figure out
what to say in the ad.

Okay, take this down.

For sale... one beautiful coupe,

in excellent condition,

mechanically perfect...

Eddie, you can't say that.

Well, who says I can't?

The newspaper.

They got a classified
advertising code.

What are they trying to do,

hamper free speech?

No, they're just
trying to tell you

that you can't make
up a bunch of lies.

You have to tell the truth?

Yeah.

For sale... one
crummy hunk of junk.

Cut it out, Eddie.

Wally really wants
to sell the car.

Okay.

Take this down.

For sale... one automobile,

excellent opportunity

for man who likes to tinker.

Boy, that guy's going to
have to tinker like crazy.

And stick this in.

Must sell cheap.

Leaving town.

But, Eddie, I'm
not leaving town.

You will when the guy finds
out what a tank he bought.

Gee, Dad, I talked
to all the guys I know,

but they just
weren't interested.

Frankly, Wally, that's
not hard to understand.

Hey, Dad,

how about if I shove
the car into the garage.

Then it would be out of the way,

and I could work
on it in there to sell it.

Wally, you know Mr. Peck
down at our office?

Yes.

When his son was just your age,

he bought a jalopy that was
pretty much like the one you have

and he pushed it in
the garage to fix it up.

Mm-hm.

Well, now Mr. Peck's
son is grown,

he's married, and
he has a family,

and the old jalopy

is still sitting in the garage

waiting to be fixed up.

- Hi.
- Hi, dear.

Honey, I thought you
told him to get rid of this.

It's been here two days already.

Well, if he doesn't
get rid of it tomorrow,

I'll do something about it.

Wally isn't home
from school yet.

Maybe he'll bring
someone home with him

to help him get it out of here.

Hello, Mrs. Ashby.

Good day.

Mrs. Ashby?

She lives down the street

with a well-groomed yard

and the beautiful flowers

and no jalopy in her front lawn.

Oh, yeah.

You know, on the way home today

I stopped beside Al
Richardson across the street

at the signal.

He said,

"Hey, Ward, does Cape Canaveral
know about that thing in your front yard?"

Seemed kind of
funny at the time,

but, come to think of
it, he wasn't laughing.

Ward, it just makes the whole
neighborhood look like a junk yard.

Well, maybe I better get the
car and push it in the garage.

At least then it'll
be out of sight, huh?

- June.
- Yes, dear.

At times, do you get the feeling

of helplessness, frustration,

and extreme rage?

Well, I guess it's only natural.

After all, we're the
parents of a teenager.

Hi, Wally. Get any
bites on your heap?

Nah, I've just about given up.

Uh, what kind of trading
stamps are you giving, sir?

Okay, Eddie.

Hey, Wally, I could
use this horn for my car.

Want to sell it?

I don't know. How
much you give me for it?

A buck. Take it or leave it.

Hey, Wally, if
you're selling stuff,

I can use the tail light
and the rearview mirror.

Gee, I don't know.

Make him an offer.

A buck and a quarter.

It's a deal.

Hey, Wally, I'll give you
ten cents for the radiator.

Oh, cut it out, Eddie.

You don't even have a car.

No, but I was going to make the
radiator into a planter for my mother.

Well, I'll tell you, Mr. uh...

uh, Mr. Garvey.

It's a 1936 coupe, and...

Yeah, I'm sure you do
have them up to your ears,

but I thought maybe
you could use one more.

Of course we wouldn't
ask much for it.

Oh, say, $15.

Yeah. Yeah, it has tires.

Yeah, it's not the
greatest car in the world,

but all the parts are there.

Fine. Say, if you could
see your way clear

to picking it up today,

it would be a real big favor.

Fine. Fine. Thank you very much.

You mean he'll
haul it away for $15?

Nope. He'll buy it for $15.

Ward, I married a genius.

Wish you'd tell
your relatives that.

Hey, how about a buck
for the manifold, Wally?

- It's a deal.
- Hey, I'll take the tail pipe.

I'll give you 3 1/2 bucks
for those back wheels.

It's a deal.

I've got dibs on the driveshaft.

Two bucks.
- Hey, what do you want
for this carburetor here?

- I don't know...
- Here, a buck.

- Okay.
- Hey, how about a couple clams
for the speedometer?

Boy, Beaver, look at that.

Thirty-seven dollars
and fifty cents.

Yeah, and you only
paid $25 to begin with.

Gee, I didn't know a loose car
could be worth more than a tight car.

Hey, you know? That might
not be a bad business to get into,

buying up cars and
selling them by the hunk.

Maybe so.

Hey, I saw Don Radner
take the carburetor.

How come? He
doesn't even have a car.

Well, he was going
to try to talk his father

into putting it on a sedan

and making a hotrod out of it.

Oh.

Mr. Cleaver, this is
the car you want to sell?

Well, I think it is.

Mr. Cleaver...

Mr. Cleaver, I came over here

in good faith.

You sounded like a
good Joe on the phone,

so I took your word.

Well, believe me,
Mr. Garvey, I had no idea.

Hm.

"All the parts are
there," he says.

Looks like a fish
that had been boned.

What did you do, strip it
while I was driving over?

Excuse me a minute, Mr. Garvey.

Wally! Oh, Wally!

I think what must've happened

is my son must've done this

and not said anything
to me about it.

You know how boys are.

Yes, I do.

One of mine had done this,

I would have hit him
right in the mouth.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, did you see the car?

Yes. Yes, I did.

I did just like you said, huh.

Wally, I didn't tell
you to dismantle it.

Now, you weren't
getting rid of it,

so I had Mr. Garvey here
come over to pick it up.

I was trying to do you a favor

by getting $15 for it.

What do I want with a
stripped-down wreck?

I've got two acres
of junk like this.

Gee, Dad, I'm sorry
I put you on a spot.

Well, that's fine, but what do
you propose to do about it now?

Well, Mister, how
much would you charge

to haul this thing
away from here?

Oh, uh, $10.

Okay, it's a deal.

Let's see, here you go.

Okay, son, I'll take care of it.

And I still came out
2 1/2 bucks ahead.

How could you do that?

Well, I sold all
the junk off the car

for 12 1/2 dollars more
than I paid for the car.

Pretty neat, huh, Dad?

Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty neat.

Ward, they're towing
it away. It's wonderful.

Yeah, I know.

Wally arranged the whole thing.

All of a sudden I'm beginning to
wonder what I was so upset about.

- Hey, Wally?
- Yeah.

Are you sore at Dad 'cause
he made you get rid of your car?

Well, I was at first,

but I can see his point.

You mean like when he used
to spank us for our own good?

Yeah, something like that.

But, gee, Wally, you always said

you couldn't wait
until you got a car.

Yeah, but like Dad says,

getting it's only the beginning.

Then there's
insurance, about $200,

and then there's gas and oil,

about $4-5 a week, and then...

Then if something goes haywire

and you can't fix it,

you gotta pay a guy to do it.

Then there's a license
fee and the registration

and all that kind of junk.

Yeah.

You know something, Wally?

What's that, Beav?

I guy doesn't know
how lucky he is

just owning a bicycle
with two flat tires.

Yeah.

Well, good night, Wally.

Good night.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA