Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 28 - The Younger Brother - full transcript

[Announcer] Starring...

and...

Hey, Beav, the juniors
are trying out for basketball

down at the park this afternoon.

Yeah, I heard some of
the guys talking about it.

You're going out,
aren't you, Beav?

Well, I don't know.
Me and Whitey

are gonna mess around
after school this afternoon.

Well, can't you mess
around some other time?

You know, Wally got his
start in the park league.

Sure, Beav. It's a
great place to learn.



And then, when you go out
for basketball in high school,

you don't feel like such a goof.

- Yeah, well, I guess so.
- Well, Beaver, didn't you make

the baseball team at school?

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah. And you're okay
at football,

even when you're just messing
around with the big guys.

Well, I don't know
about basketball.

I never tried it much.

Well, Beaver, I think you'd
really enjoy basketball.

Well, I guess I could
make myself enjoy it

if you want me to, Dad.

It's entirely up to you, Beaver.

You have to make up your own
mind. Well, I've got to get going.

You boys better
get a move on, too.



- Bye, dear.
- Bye-bye.

Mom, I'm gonna be a little late
coming home from school today.

Oh?

Yeah, I'm gonna
sign up for basketball.

Oh, well, you certainly made up
your mind in a hurry about that.

Yeah. Well, I kind of
like to keep Dad happy.

Now, look, Beaver,

you don't have to play basketball
on account of your father.

Yeah, I know, Mom.

But when people ask
Dad how Wally's doing,

he says, "Oh, Wally's team won
the championship in basketball,"

or, "Wally broke the
record in long hurdles."

And pretty soon, people are gonna
ask, "How's the Beaver doing?"

And if Dad just says, "Beaver?
Oh, he's just messing around,"

that doesn't sound too good.

- Good-bye, Beaver.
- Good-bye, Mom.

- Have a good day.
- Bye, Mom.

That's fine.

There you are, Mr. Doyle.

- Good.
- Thank you, sir.

I'm going out for center.

Oh, we'll see about that. Next.

Just fill that out.

- Hey, Mr. Doyle?
- Yes, Richard?

Do basketball players get paid big
bonuses like baseball players do?

Well, I wouldn't know about
that, but they do quite well.

Oh. Well, my father
just wanted to know.

"Beaver Cleaver."

My school name is Theodore.

Oh, I see.

Cleaver.

By any chance, are you
Wally Cleaver's brother?

Yeah. Me and Wally
are brothers... both of us.

Fine boy, that Wally, and
a great basketball player.

Yeah. Well, Wally
does do pretty good.

We won the park league
championship when Wally played for us.

Maybe we'll have another
good season this year.

You think we'll win
the championship?

Well, with another
Cleaver in the lineup,

I'd say we might make it.

- Golly.
- Now, Cleaver,
and the rest of you fellas,

I want you to show up
tomorrow with your sneakers.

- We're going to have
our first practice.
- [Boys] Okay.

[Boys chattering]

Hey, Mom, when are
we gonna have dinner?

I'm starved.

Well, if you keep
taking the lids off things,

it may not be till midnight.

Oh. Sorry.

Hey, I signed up for basketball.

- Hey, that's great, Beav.
- Well, good for you.

We have our first
practice tomorrow.

Hey, what's going on in here?

I signed up for basketball, Dad.

And Mr. Doyle says with
another Cleaver in the lineup,

we might win the championship.

Well, that's great, Beaver.

How about that? We might
have another champ in the family.

I have to wear my sneakers for
the practice tomorrow and everything.

You mean you're going
to wear them to school?

Oh, no, Mom. The
school nurse won't let us.

She says they're
offensive. That means...

Never mind, Beaver.

Say, Beaver, about
those sneakers,

what kind of shape are they in?

Okay, I guess. They're
in the hall closet.

Oh, I don't know, Beaver.

These shoes are
pretty well shot.

Yeah. And they are
kind of offensive, too.

I guess they'll be
all right, huh, Dad?

Hey, look, Beav,
Mr. Doyle doesn't want

any of the guys playing in shoes
with holes in the bottom of them.

- He doesn't?
- Well, no.

You might get a blister,
and then it might get infected.

The city doesn't want any
of the kids' folks suing them.

Tell you what, Beaver,
after supper tonight,

we'll go down to Foster's
and get you a new pair.

Gee, thanks, Dad.
That'd really be neat.

Oh, well, we can't
have the old pro playing

with holes in the bottom
of his shoes, can we?

[knocking on door, door opens]

Oh, hi, Eddie.

Hiya, Sam.

Hey, on problem
number 5 in math,

what did you get for an answer?

What did you get?

I got three or four
good answers.

Let's see. Mine
came out to 61.873.

Mm-hmm. Very good.

Is that what you got?

Uh, I got it now.

Come on, Eddie.

What are you trying to pull?

Besides, the teacher's
gonna want to see

how you arrived at the answer.

No, he won't. I got a gimmick.

You see, the solution I
write out real crummy,

the answer I write out neat.

By the time old man Bromley

tries to figure
out the solution,

he's so shook, he's happy
to settle for the answer.

Hey, Wally, wait till
you see the neat...

- Oh, hi, Eddie.
- Hiya, squirt.

Well, what's the neat
thing you got in the box?

- Cut it out, Eddie.
- Let me see it.

Lay off, Eddie.

Tennis shoes.

Big deal.

I guess you wore your old
ones out playing hopscotch, huh?

These are for basketball.

Basketball? Who you gonna
play with, the Brownies?

I'm gonna play in
the park league. Nah!

Oh, sure you are.

- He is, Eddie.
- This here clod?

And I'm gonna play for the
same coach that Wally had.

Your big brother was a hot shot,

so now the coach is gonna
let the little brother play.

Very sweet and touching.

Okay, Eddie. Knock it off.

Yeah, and we're gonna
win the championship, too.

Some basketball player.

You couldn't dribble
down your chin. [laughs]

Aah.

Hey, Wally, he's
copying your stuff.

Okay, Eddie.

Why don't you find
someone else to bother, huh?

Hey, take it easy, pal.
You're bending the cashmere.

- Clobber him, Wally.
- What is this, East Berlin?

Hey, Wally, Eddie doesn't
think I can play basketball.

- Do you think he's right.
- Aw, don't worry
about that, Beav.

Eddie's always saying
nobody can do anything.

Yeah, I know. But
one of these days,

he's just liable to be right,

and I'd sure hate
him to be right on me.

Look, Beav, tomorrow,
just don't try too hard

and get all tied up, okay?

Okay, Wally. I'll try not to.

We'll begin with a
simple fundamental.

Now, first, the bounce pass.

You'll each take a turn,
then return the ball to me.

That's fine, boy.

Good boy.

Fine, Richard.

[Boys laughing]

That's enough, boys. We're
all a little nervous to start with.

All right, Beaver.
Throw me the ball.

Good boy, John.

Stay with it.

Very good, Richard.

[Boys laughing]

Stay with it, Beaver.

- Okay, Beav.
- [blows whistle]

Beaver, I... I'm
sorry, Mr. Doyle.

I'm just not good at
basketball like Wally is.

I'm pretty good at baseball,

but I guess it doesn't
help in basketball

to be a good first baseman.

Beaver, there's nothing
to be sorry about.

Basketball is a
difficult game to learn.

Some of the other boys
were on the team last year.

You know, I was thinking,

there's another league
starting about a month

for smaller... well,
less-experienced boys.

Maybe you'd like
to turn out then.

Get in some practice
in the meantime.

No, thanks, Mr. Doyle.

I think I'm gonna stick
to football and baseball.

I didn't know basketball
was such a nervous game.

I'm sorry, Beaver.

Oh, that's okay, Mr. Doyle.

You're a real neat guy.

[Wally] Hi, Beav.

Hey, the all-American's home.

Well, Beaver, how
did the first practice go?

- Not so hot, Dad.
- Don't let it get you down,
Beav.

Well, of course not, Beaver.

No. Wally had his
problems, too, at first.

Yeah, but...

Hey, Beav, I even mentioned
you to my coach at school.

I said, "My little brother
was starting basketball,"

and he said, "Good, we better
reserve some space in the trophy case."

Well, you see there, Beaver?

- But, Dad...
- Wally, what was high-point game?

Let's see. I think I made
about 32 against Taft.

There you are, Beav. That gives
you something to shoot for, huh?

Well, you boys better
get washed up for dinner.

- It's just about ready.
- Oh, June, with two athletes
in the family,

you're gonna have to
start setting a training table.

Hey, Beav, when's
your next practice?

Uh, tomorrow.

Hey, you want me to stop by one of
these days this week and watch you?

Oh, gee, no, Wally. You
know how creepy a guy feels

when he knows his
relatives are watching him.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Ward!

[door closes]

Oh, a lady in distress?

I'm having a time getting
this curtain rod back in place.

- Could you help me?
- Sure thing.

Seems I knock that down
every time I dust that windowsill.

Yeah. I remember the same thing
happened about six months ago.

[laughs]

I know you had a
bad day at the office,

and you couldn't wait to come
home and take it out on me.

Nope. On the contrary.
I had a wonderful day.

- A beautiful day.
- Oh?

Yep. Fred Rutherford spent the
whole day across town with a client.

I didn't have to listen to one word about
how smart or clever his boy Lumpy is.

- Am I the first one home?
- Yes.

Wally had to do some
research at the library.

Beaver's having
basketball practice.

Well, with all those practices,

the team should be
shaping up pretty well.

I hope the coach isn't
working him too hard.

Now, don't you worry about that.

Playing basketball will
be really great for Beaver.

[Boys shouting]

[shouting continues]

[whistle blows]

Wally! Wally!

[door closes]

- Yeah, Dad?
- Wally, I'm a little worried
about the Beaver.

He hasn't come home
from basketball practice yet.

Well, that Mr. Doyle...
He doesn't fool around.

He really makes the kids sweat.

- I mean, he really gives
them a good workout.
- Yeah.

Well, maybe we ought
to get the car out...

[door opens]

Well, Beaver, we were
getting worried about you.

How'd everything go at practice?

Oh, everything went
fine at practice, Dad.

Hey, Beav, look
at your sneakers.

What about my sneakers?

Well, they look brand-new.

Yeah, for playing
on a cement court,

you've sure kept
them in great shape.

Well, I guess that's on
account of I'm light on my feet.

And anyway, when a guy
gets older, he does get neater.

Oh. Well, you
look pretty fine, too.

Wally used to come
home exhausted.

Yeah, well, we just started.

I don't think we're good
enough to get exhausted yet.

You know, Wally, some
afternoon this week,

you ought to drop by the park
and watch your brother practice.

Well, gee, Dad, I tell you,

after track practice, I
promised Julie Foster

I'd help her cram for finals.

Well, finals are a
couple of months away.

Well, yeah, but
you know how it is.

Yeah. Come to think
of it, I guess I do.

All set to go, Ward, old man?

Oh, yeah. I'll be
right with you, Fred.

Say, what do you have in that
briefcase you carry home every night?

Oh, nothing of much importance.

I just carry it back and forth

to keep the lower
echelon boys on their toes.

I see. Say, Fred, by the
way, on the way home,

I'd like to swing by the park and watch
Beaver work out with his basketball team.

- Do you mind?
- No. Sounds pretty exciting.

Why don't you pick up some other
guys, and we can do card stunts?

All right. But don't come
crying to me for tickets

when he's playing at
Madison Square Garden.

[whistle blows]

- Oh, there they are over there.
- Oh, yeah.

[Boys chattering]

Say, uh, Fred, you can wait
here in the car if you want to.

And miss seeing the greatest
thing since Bob Cousy?

Nothing doing.

Well, that's odd. I don't
seem to spot Beaver.

Well, maybe he was
drafted by the Lakers.

- Mr. Doyle?
- Yes?

[whistle blows]

I'm Ward Cleaver.

Oh, yes, I remember.
You're Wally's father.

Yeah, that's right.
This is Mr. Rutherford.

- Mr. Doyle.
- Hi.

- How do you do?
- You don't have to worry
about me.

I'm not one of
those prying parents.

I just dropped by to see
how Beaver was doing,

but I don't see him around.

Didn't he show up
for practice today?

- Well, didn't Beaver tell you?
- Tell me what?

Well, he wasn't quite
up to the rest of the boys,

and he was dropped from
the team by mutual agreement.

Well, when did this happen?

It was right after the
first practice we had.

Well, was there any trouble or
anything? Was he fooling around?

Oh, no. It was
nothing like that.

It was just apparent that
he wasn't another Wally

as far as basketball
is concerned.

- Oh, I see.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Cleaver.

Oh, that's quite
all right. Uh...

Good meeting you.

Yeah, well, let's go, Fred.

- Good-bye.
- Good-bye.

[whistle blows]

Wally,

is that where we keep
the empty bottles?

Huh?

Oh, uh... Oh, I'm sorry.

Wally!

Wally, will you do me a favor

and put that out in the
garage while you're at it?

Okay, Mom.

Boy, I'd sure save a lot
of walking around here

if I just drank water.

Oh, hi, Wally.

Beaver, what are you doing
sitting out here in the garage

rubbing your
sneakers in the dirt?

Well, I'm just trying to
get them crummed up

so I'll look like an old pro.

Well, they're gonna get
crummed up enough just practicing.

Wally, if I tell you something,

you promise you won't
squeal about me to Dad?

I don't know about that, Beav.

The last time I promised
not to squeal on you,

it turned out that you dropped
my new jacket in the lake.

Oh, no, Wally.

It's nothing like that.

It's just that, well, I
haven't been going

to basketball practice
since the very first day.

No kidding? Well, how come?

'Cause I didn't make the team.

'Cause I got all nervous

trying to be as good as you are.

Well, and then every day,
I've been coming home late

just like I did make the team.

- Why'd you do that?
- 'Cause I didn't want Dad
to find out.

He'd get real sore
and disappointed,

like the time he paid
all that money for me

to have swimming lessons, and
I wouldn't even go in the water.

Well, Beaver, that
was a long time ago.

What makes you so sure that
he's gonna get sore about this?

Well, because you had to
be so good in basketball,

and then I had to come
along and be a big flop.

You really messed
it up, huh, Beav?

Yeah. I was real crummy.

Hey, Wally, come on.

- Get down here, quick.
- What's the matter?

Beaver, what's the matter?

I just heard Dad's car
come up the driveway.

Oh.

What am I doing down here?

I didn't do anything wrong.

Yeah. But Dad might see you,

and then he'd come
in here and catch me.

Well, yeah, but you can't
keep hiding out all the time.

Yeah. But what am I gonna do?

Well, you're too
old to start bawling,

and you're too young to
run away and join the Navy.

What am I old enough to do?

Well, I think you're
right about at the age

where you're just gonna
have to stick around and take it.

June!

- Hi, dear.
- Hi.

June, is Beaver around?

- No. He's at practice.
- Oh, no, he's not.

What?

He hasn't been at practice
since the first day they turned out.

They cut him from the squad.

Yeah. I stopped by the park,
and Mr. Doyle gave me the news

right in front of
Fred Rutherford.

Oh, my. What did Fred say?

Oh, nothing, but he said
it in a very annoying way.

Look, Beav, all you gotta
do is go in there and say,

"Dad, I got cut from the squad,

and for the past week, I've just been
pretending to go to basketball practice."

Now, isn't that easy?

Yeah. But there
are a lot of things

that sound easy in the kitchen

that you can't say
in the living room.

Yeah, well, look, you wait here.

I'll go in and see if I
can help you out a little.

Help me out how?

You know, remind Dad that
you're just a goofy little kid,

and you don't know what's
happening most of the time.

Yeah. I guess that's okay.

- But, Wally?
- Yeah?

Don't make me sound too goofy.

Why didn't Beaver tell us

he'd been dropped from the team?

We were so happy about it in the
beginning and made such a big fuss,

I guess he just couldn't
bring himself to tell us about it.

- Hi.
- Hello, Wally.

Oh, Wally, have
you seen the Beaver?

Well, yeah, kind of.

He was out in the garage.

I want to talk to him.

Do you know he was dropped
from the team a week ago?

Dad, could you wait just a
second before you jump on him?

Wally, your father doesn't
jump on either one of you.

What did you want to say, Wally?

Well, right now, the
Beaver's out in the kitchen,

and the poor guy
is scared to death.

Scared to death?

Yeah. Yeah, he sort
of felt he let Dad down.

He wasn't thinking
about himself so much.

He just didn't like the
idea of disappointing you.

Wally, don't you
boys know by now

that I understand
about things like this?

You don't have to go through
all this deception with me.

Well, sure we do, Dad.

But, well, it's still awful hard

to come to your father
and tell him you're no good.

Oh, Ward, this is a shame.

Yeah. And it's even
rougher on the Beaver

with Mr. Doyle and
everybody saying

how Wally did this
or Wally did that.

Well, Wally, we don't
expect Beaver to live up

to everything you did.

Well, sure, Dad, I know that.

But I think right now it'd
be a big help to Beaver

if he knew it.

All right, son.

You tell Beaver I want to
see him in the den a second.

It's okay, Dad. I'm right here.

Why, Beaver, were you listening?

Yeah, Mom.

When people do this
much talking about you,

you gotta listen to know
how much trouble you're in.

Look, son, you didn't have to
pretend to go to practice every day.

It's no disgrace not to be as
good at basketball as your brother.

It's not?

[Ward] Look, I'll tell you what,

I'll put a basketball hoop
up out by the garage,

and you can Wally can
practice any time you want to

until you get good.

Yeah. But I'll never
be good like Wally.

That doesn't make
any difference.

As you grow up,
there'll be lots of things

you're as good at as Wally is.

Well, sure, Beaver.
You're not gonna be

a clumsy little
kid all your life.

[Ward] Who knows?

You might turn out to
be a famous scientist

or an inventor.

- Do you really think so, Dad?
- Well, sure.

Or maybe an important
doctor or lawyer.

Gee, I might be a
whole lot neater guy

than I thought I was gonna be.

Of course you may.

Oh, and don't worry, Wally.

When I get to be
famous, I'll still talk to you.

[Beaver] Wally! Hey, Wally!

Be right there, Beav.

Hey, Dad, Beaver and I are gonna
play a game of checkers out in the den.

- You want to play the winner?
- Okay, fine.

Wally, when you play Beaver,

why don't you take it
a little bit easy on him?

Take it easy?

Well, after all this fuss
we've had over basketball,

I don't want him
getting a complex.

Well, Mom, that's no
way to play a game...

Let the other guy win.

That's right, June.

When you compete, you've got
to put everything you've got in it.

Otherwise, you're
being dishonest.

Well, I know that, but in
view of what's been going on...

Gee, Mom, that doesn't
do the other guy any good.

And anyway, the guy who loses

has to put the trash cans
out tonight for the trash man.

I'm sorry.

I guess being a mother

sometimes gets
in the way of logic.

Well, Beaver, it took you
long enough to play checkers.

Yeah, I know.

Don't forget the
trash cans, son.

Well, Wally's taking
them out now, Dad.

- What?
- Yeah. I clobbered him
three straight games.

[laughs]

Okay. Let's go, champ. I'm next.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA