Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 25 - Beaver's Laundry - full transcript

[Announcer] Starring...

and...

Well, Ward, how nice of you

to put the breakfast
dishes away for me.

Well, I knew you
wanted to get away early

for your beauty
parlor appointment.

Oh, they called me.
Made my appointment later.

Well, maybe I ought to put
the dishes back in the sink.

Hey, Mom, Dad, can I go
over to Richard's right away?

What's up?

Well, I got to help
him with his laundry.



Help him with his laundry?

Well, yeah, you know, Dad,

make sure it gets washed
and dried real good.

You and Richard are going
to do his family's laundry?

Oh, no, we're going to haul
it down to the laundromat.

You see, their washing
machine broke down,

and Richard's dad said

if he doesn't get
a clean shirt today,

he's going to have to stay
in bed all day tomorrow.

Sounds like a real crisis.

Beaver, Richard must have
a lot of confidence in you

if he wants you to share
a responsibility like that.

Oh, I don't think
it's that, Dad.

It's just if something
goes wrong,



he's got me along to blame.

Beaver, is Wally still upstairs?

Yeah, he's been studying himself
in the mirror for the last hour.

I should think he'd know
what he looks like by now.

He's trying to figure out
whether he's old enough

to start shaving regularly yet.

Well, by the time he gets
through looking at himself,

he just might be old enough.

Ward, I think Beaver's
developing some nice traits

as he grows up. Don't you?

Yeah, but just what trait
did you have in mind?

Accepting responsibility,
like helping Richard today.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that's an
admirable trait all right.

I just wished he'd
accept responsibility

about something
a little less risky

than other people's laundry.

You should've heard
my father yelling

about the washing
machine when it broke.

He said all mothers
got it too easy today.

Yeah, my dad keeps reminding
my mom about the same thing.

Yeah, he said there
wasn't any washing machine

to break down when he was a boy

because his mom used a washtub

and used to scrub
all the laundry herself.

What did your mom say to that?

She told my father to take
the laundry over to his mother.

Then how come we're going
to the laundromat instead?

Because my grandmother
lives in California.

Oh.

Boy, Beav, it's going
to be a lot of fun

watching all those machines
going at the same time.

Yeah, it's like watching people

fall down that big
barrel at the funhouse.

Yeah, I like to hear
them go plop, plop, plop

when they turn all
the clothes over.

Yeah.

I wonder what it'd be like

if they had machines like that
for people instead of bathtubs.

Hey, that would be a lot of fun.

Aw, all that turning around
would make a guy dizzy.

Yeah, and everybody can
look through the glass door

and see you taking a bath.

Yeah.

[dog barks]

Hey, he's got
your father's shorts.

Hey, come back.

Boy, how do you
like that dopey dog

stealing my father's shorts?

They won't even fit him.

Yeah, but it's lucky

he didn't grab them when
your father was in them.

Did he put a hole in them?

No, but he sure
got them plenty dirty.

Yeah, it's lucky we
didn't wash them first.

Hey, Richard, let's put
them back in the bag.

It's embarrassing standing here

with your father's
shorts out in the open.

Yeah.

Hi, Mom.

Back from the
beauty parlor already?

I didn't go. They
postponed my appointment.

Can't you tell by my hair?

Gee, Mom, the way they
do women's hair today,

you can't tell whether they've
been to the beauty parlor

or just standing out
around in the wind.

Next time maybe I should
announce it when I get home.

Yeah, that would help.

Hey, where did the Beaver
go tearing off in such a hurry?

He went down to the
laundromat with Richard.

Their washing
machine broke down.

Richard wanted your
brother to help him.

[chuckles]

That's really funny.

What's funny about your brother

helping Richard
with the laundry?

Well, I always knew

Beaver was pretty good
at getting clothes dirty,

but I never thought
anybody would ever want him

to help get them clean.

You know, I think it's
nice of your brother

that he's willing to
take the responsibility.

Yeah, I guess so.

But, you know, anytime you get

a couple of kids and
a bunch of laundry,

there's got to be
some kind of trouble.

You know, Wally, you're talking
more like your father every day.

Well, I guess that's because

I'm getting practically
as old as he is.

Say, has anyone seen
my big screwdriver?

Uh, gee, Dad,

I used it a couple of days
ago to stir up this can of paint.

Well, that's just fine.

Where did you leave it?

Uh, I can't remember.

Wally, I wish when you
misuse one of my tools,

you'd put it back
where it came from.

But I found it in the kitchen.
It was in with the knives.

Just where you left it, Ward.

Oh.

Oh, I guess I must
have left it there

when I finished
fixing the faucet.

Well, I guess I better
go help him find it.

I think so.

And make sure he doesn't
leave that big wrench he's carrying

in with the forks.

Hey, Richard,

you sure your mother
gave you enough money?

Well, yeah, she gave
me three whole dollars

and told me to bring
back the change.

Well, how do you know
there's going to be any change?

Well, because my mom says
we got about 20 pounds here,

and they charge 11
cents a pound to do it.

You know, if I was
running that place,

I wouldn't charge by the pound.

Then how would you
make any money?

I'd charge by how
dirty the stuff was.

Yeah, but people
don't want to admit

they've got dirty laundry.

They just dump the
stuff in the machine

and pretend it isn't theirs.

You just watch them.

Maybe on the way back

we can buy some sodas
with the change we're getting.

Nah, I can't. I promised
my mom I'd bring it all home.

She says I'm getting
old enough now

to learn the meaning
of responsibility.

Yeah, that responsibility stuff
sure cuts down on a lot of fun.

Hey, Richard,

how about letting me hold
onto some of the money?

What for?

Well, I don't know.

It makes me feel like a big
shot holding onto money.

Okay, Beav, you hold a
dollar, and I'll hold the rest.

It's gone.

- What's gone?
- The money. I lost it.

Are you sure? Maybe it's
in one of your other pockets.

Well, I had it right here
under my handkerchief.

Hey, I know. I bet I lost it

when I took my handkerchief
out to blow my nose.

Where did you blow your nose?

In my handkerchief.

No, you dummy,

I mean where were you
when you blew your nose?

I think we were on
the corner of Grant.

Yeah, I can remember that
lady turn around and look at me

because I was blowing so hard.

Well, let's take a look there.

Oh, it's gone all right.

What are we going to do now?

I don't know about you, but
I think I'm going to go home.

Yeah, but you're
supposed to help me.

Yeah, but if I just
went home with you,

all I'd help you
do is get yelled at.

Yeah, my mom's
real good at that.

My dad does most of
the yelling at our house.

Yeah, your mom's real nice.

I'll bet you she
never yells at you.

Well, she jumps in and
helps my dad once in awhile,

but he doesn't really need it.

Boy, I sure wish I was
young enough to cry.

Yeah, now the only
time you can cry

is in the movies when it's dark.

Yeah.

Say, Beaver, you
think your mother

would do our laundry
in her washing machine?

You mean for nothing?

Well, of course for nothing.

If I had the money, I
wouldn't have to ask her.

Okay, Richard, we'll ask my mom.

I'm sure she'll do it for us.

She's got all that
soap and everything

just standing
around doing nothing.

Okay, come on.

June, isn't it time for your
beauty shop appointment?

Oh, yes, I'm going to have

to finish cleaning up
the kitchen afterwards.

I was going to mop up the floor.

Maybe you could
stay home and do it.

Oh, well, as a matter of fact,

I thought after I dropped
you off at the beauty parlor,

I'd walk on down
to the barbershop

and get a haircut.

Oh. Jealous?

No, no, I'm just in the middle
of a magazine story there.

Last time I was there,
they played me a dirty trick...

Called me before
I could finish it.

Oh, well, maybe this
time you'll be lucky

and they'll keep you
waiting a long time.

I better go up, change my
dress, and put some makeup on.

You're putting on makeup
to go to the beauty parlor?

Well, of course, you can't go
in looking like you need them.

Oh.

Hey, I was wondering
where you guys were.

Hey, is it okay if I
grab some junk to eat

before I go over to Eddie's?

I think you'll find
some real neat junk

in the refrigerator.

- Thanks, Mom.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, boy, a cake.

I just made that, Wally.

Looks like somebody
already beat me to it.

There's a hunk missing.

Ward, couldn't you wait?

I was just testing, dear.

Boy, if that was me,
would I get yelled at.

Wally, you trying to
make trouble for me?

Gee, no, Dad,

but I was just thinking
about all the things

that a grown-up
can get away with

that a kid would
get clobbered for.

One of the privileges
of age, Wally.

Wally, are you and
Eddie going somewhere?

Nah, he just wants me to
help him with his chemistry.

Well, I didn't know you
were that good in chemistry.

You don't have to be
very good to help Eddie.

Boy, does he goof
things up in that class.

Then why did he take chemistry?

He was thinking
about being a doctor.

A doctor?

Where did he get that idea?

From watching all those
doctor shows on television.

Uh, Eddie thinks he'd
make a good doctor?

Well, he says that
all those doctors

ever do on television

is just stand around and
argue with each other.

And he's pretty good at arguing.

I'll see you later.

[June] Bye, Wally.

- Ward?
- Mm-hmm?

You think Beaver and Richard

are doing all right
at the laundromat?

Oh, I don't think there's
anything to worry about.

After all, all they have to do
is give the man the laundry.

He puts it in the
washing machine,

and that's all there is to it.

It isn't as if you needed

a college education
to handle it.

I remember Wally once
when he was Beaver's age.

All he had to do was
get on the bus for Belfort

to visit Aunt Martha.

Six hours later he
called us from Riverside.

Dear, did you have
to bring that up?

Hey, what did your
mom say, Beav?

She didn't say anything.
She's not home.

Oh, well, did your father say
to take this stuff and beat it?

No, he's not home, either.

Nobody's home.

I just remembered
today's the day

my mom goes to
the beauty parlor.

Well, then maybe
she'll be home soon.

I don't think so.

She's got an awful lot of hair.

Gee, Beav, if I don't get
this stuff home pretty soon,

I'm really going to get it.

Well, what can we do?
My mom's not home.

Well... Hey, I know.

We can do the washing
ourselves in your washing machine.

Hey, Richard, I don't
think we ought to do that.

Oh, you don't know how
to work the machine, huh?

Well, sure, I watched my
mom do it a lot of times.

All you do is put the soap in

and then turn it
to where it says on

and then you sit down
and wait for the bell to ring.

You got a bell on yours?

Yeah, it rings when
the wash is through.

Well, how do you
know it isn't the phone?

Well, listen, if you can't tell a
phone from a washing machine,

you shouldn't even
be walking around.

Come on. Let's put
this stuff in the machine.

I still don't think
we should do it

without my mom's permission.

Well, you don't mean
she's going to get sore at you

for using a little soap
and water, do you?

I guess not.

She is always telling me
to use soap and water.

Well, you see, you got
her permission already.

Gee, I don't think
it's all going to fit.

Oh, sure it will.

Hey, you know where the soap is?

Yeah.

I think you better
use some more, Beav.

Yeah, some of this
stuff is kind of messy.

My sister's always getting

ice cream and jelly
all over everything.

Then I better use some more.

There. That ought to do it.

Hey, Richard, does your mother
like her stuff with starch in it?

Well, my father likes
his shirts starched.

And I've got a few
of his shirts in there.

Then we better use some starch.

There. Now we're all set.

Hey, Richard, how
come the starch starches

just the shirts
and nothing else?

Well, I guess it's
like weed killer.

It knows to kill the
weeds, but not the grass.

Yeah.

Boy, Beav, this is just as
good as down at the laundromat.

I hope so.

Yeah, and the best part is

when I take this stuff home

my mom will never
know the difference.

Now all we have to do
is wait for the bell to ring.

Come on. Let's
wait in the kitchen.

Hey, what do we do
while we're waiting?

I don't know.

What does your mother
do while she's waiting?

Oh, she's calls up
some of her friends,

and they talk about the
last friend she called up.

You know, I'm beginning to think

it's not as tough being a
mother as I thought it was.

Yeah, they sure got lots
of time to goof around.

Hey, Beav, why
don't we play cards

like our parents do when
they've got nothing better to do.

That's a good idea,

but I don't know
where the cards are.

Well, we don't need
real cards, you dummy.

We'll just pretend.

Okay. What do we play?

Gin rummy. You know it?

Well, okay.

Come on. Let's sit down.

Here. Sit here.

Now, look, you be the
wife, and I'll be the husband.

And then we can fight
like our parents do.

Well, gee, I don't
know how to do that.

Don't you ever listen
when your parents fight?

They don't fight much
in front of me and Wally.

I think they read in a book or
something it was bad for us.

And anyway, I don't
like to hear them fight.

Boy, you ought to
listen to them fight

when they come home from
playing bridge at somebody's house.

That's the best
kind of listening.

It is, huh?

Yeah, I've been
listening to that for years.

"You've been
playing for years now,

"but you still have to ask

whether hearts are
higher than diamonds."

Well, gee, why
do they play cards

if they do nothing
but argue about it?

Well, that's the way it is.

I guess you're not allowed
to have fun playing games

when you're a grown-up.

Yeah, I guess that must be it.

[clanging]

Boy, Richard, your family
must have awful dirty laundry

to make that much noise.

Yeah, I guess we
should've used more soap.

Well, let's take a look.

But the bell hasn't rung.

Well, let's look anyway.

Wow.

Look at that mess.

You better stop it, Beav,

before it gets all
over the house.

Uh-oh, somebody's coming.

Oh, hi, Beaver, Richard.

- Hi, Wally, Eddie.
- Hey, Eddie.

Hey, what are you guys up to?

Nothing. We're
just standing here.

Get the expression
on those faces.

You kids could
be sent up the river

on those looks alone.

Hey, Wally, look.

Oh, brother. How
did you guys do this?

Well, you see, Wally,

we were taking Richard's laundry

down to the laundromat,
but Richard lost his money.

Yeah, 3 whole dollars,

so we decided to
do the laundry here.

Oh, boy.

Hey, Wally, is it
okay if I stick around

till your parents get back?

I want to watch the bloodshed.

Gee, Wally, I guess I used
a little bit too much soap.

Too much?

You could take a bubble
bath with what's on the floor.

Boy, what a mess.

Look, you guys better get
that laundry out of the machine.

Yeah, but it's full of soap
and starch and soaking wet.

I can't take it home like that.

My father's in a real
hitting mood today.

Look, why don't you just take
it down to the laundromat first?

They'll wash it and dry it,

and then you won't
get in any trouble.

Yeah, but I haven't
got any money.

Well, look, I got
some money upstairs.

Maybe I could loan you some.

Gee, Wally, I'll pay
you back and everything.

Okay, now don't
start bawling on me.

Now, you guys get the
laundry out of the machine.

I'll go upstairs
and get the money.

And hurry up.

Boy, Wally, what do you
want to help out those kids for?

What are you doing? Bucking
for Eagle Scout or something?

Look, Eddie, tonight's
my allowance night.

When Mom and Dad come
home and see this mess,

they're going to say,
"What's the matter?

Can't you even keep an
eye on your little brother?"

Then I'm going to
say, "But I wasn't here."

And then they're going to say,
"Well, why weren't you here?"

Then I'm going to say, "'Cause I
was goofing around with Eddie."

Then all of a sudden, I
haven't got any allowance.

Well, all right, as
long as you're doing it

for a commercial reason,
I'm with you, Claude.

I thought you were
going soft on me.

Hey, look, Eddie,

why don't you hang around
and help me clean up this mess?

Me?

I don't even help my
own mother wash floors.

My father does that.

Yeah, but didn't you say
that you owed me a favor

from when I helped
you with chemistry?

Well, yeah, but I didn't think

you were going to make
a galley slave out of me.

Start mopping, Sam.

Well, okay, but
what if Tuesday Weld

came in here and
caught me doing this?

Well, I've just never
seen it so clean.

Just look at that floor.

Well, it practically sparkles.

Yeah, the mop and the
pail put away and everything.

Do you suppose the
boys could've done it?

Wally and Beaver
mop up the kitchen floor

without being told?

Isn't that asking
a little too much?

Yes, I guess it is.

Unless it's all a buildup
so they can hit us

with some big deal
at supper tonight.

[door opens]

[Wally] Oh, hi, Mom, Dad.

When did you guys get in?

Oh, just now, Wally.

Wally, have you any idea
how the kitchen got so clean?

Oh, well, yeah, Beaver
and I sort of cleaned it up.

You and Beaver?

All right, Wally,
what's the big thing

you're going to hit
us with at supper?

Big thing?

Yeah, you know, money?

Outboard motor? Trampoline?

Heck, no, Dad.

Gee, here we go and
do a favor for our parents,

and you think
we're out to gyp you.

Well, you have to admit, Wally,

it's a little bit unusual.

We usually have to threaten
you with boarding school

to get you to pick up your room.

Why did you do it, Wally?

Well, I said to
Beaver... I said,

"This place looks like
it needs cleaning up."

And he said, "Yeah, it does."

The next thing I knew, we
were mopping up the kitchen.

That's all there is to it.

That's all there is to it, huh?

Hello, Mom, Dad. Hello, Wally.

Hello, Beaver. Everything
go all right at the laundromat?

Oh, yeah, everything
went all right this time.

Beaver, I want to thank
you for what you did.

For what I did?

Yeah, you know,
cleaning up the kitchen.

Huh?

Yeah, you remember.

We said the
kitchen looked dirty,

so we cleaned it up.

Oh, yeah, yeah, we
did that, didn't we?

Yes, and you did a better job

than the cleaning
woman ever did.

Maybe that's because we
used more soap, huh, Wally?

Yeah, yeah, there was an
awful lot of soap around here.

Beaver, you must be
pretty tired after all that work.

Uh, yeah, I think
I'm kind of tired, too.

I think I'll just go upstairs

and rest by fooling
around for a while.

Well, so long.
I'll see you later.

Yeah, see you.

Ward, can you imagine those
boys cleaning up a room for me

without being asked?

It just shows they're growing up

and accepting responsibility.

No, June,

I'm a little suspicious
about this whole deal.

I can't imagine any
boy really growing up

to be this responsible.

Ward.

Ward, this is the box of soap I
use for the washing machine.

Oh, it's very nice.
What about it?

Well, it's empty,

and this morning it
was practically full.

This box of starch,
it's empty, too.

Oh.

My suspicions are
about to be confirmed.

Do you think all this

could have anything to
do with Richard's laundry?

Uh-huh.

And the clean kitchen floor.

I wouldn't be surprised if
they were all connected.

But if I were you,
I'd leave it alone.

What do you mean?

Well, whatever
problems the boys had,

they've evidently worked
out for themselves.

Let's not spoil it for all of us
by looking into it too deeply.

I guess you're right.

Well, in that case, let's
get rid of the evidence.

Hey, Wally, why are
you looking in my drawer?

Because I'm always finding
my handkerchiefs in your drawer.

That's why.

Well, it's hard to
tell the difference

between handkerchiefs.

Then how come you can
always tell to take mine?

Boy, Beaver, you should've
taken some of this dirty junk

down to the laundromat
with Richard's laundry.

Listen, Wally, it's
easier to have Mom do it,

and it doesn't
even cost anything.

Yeah.

Boy, I never thought
I'd shell out 3 bucks

to have Richard's
dirty clothes washed.

Well, gee, Wally, he
said he'd pay you back.

Yeah, but some
guys just say that

when they're in trouble.

They got a way of
forgetting all about it

when they're in the clear.

Yeah.

I guess Richard is
that kind of a guy.

Yeah, I guess I can
kiss that dough good-bye.

Well, look, Wally,
I'll split it with you.

I'll give you 50 cents out of
my next three allowances.

Aw, you don't have
to do that, Beav.

It was worth it not to get
clobbered by Mom and Dad.

Do you think they
suspect anything?

Well, they might,

but they're not going
to say anything about it.

Why not?

Well, gosh, they're just happy

they got the room
all cleaned up.

Then maybe we
ought to tell them.

Well, now, why
go and mess it up?

And anyway, parents
don't like to hear bad stuff

anymore than kids do.

Maybe they even like
to hear bad stuff less.

How come?

Well, look, they got the
whole world to worry about.

All you got to worry
about is washing your feet

and junk like that.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA