Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 23 - Eddie Quits School - full transcript

[Announcer] Starring...

and...

Beaver, you move
your castle there,

and I'm going to clobber you.

Oh, yeah.

You know, I think you're
too young to play chess.

Well, we got a guy
in our room, Sidney,

and he once played six
grownups at one time.

Yeah, and how did he make out?

He lost every game.

[phone rings]



- I'll get it.
- I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Lump.

Huh?

You're kidding, Lump.

Really?

Hey, guess what.

Hey, well, look, Lump,
when's he going to do it?

Tomorrow?

Hey, he's going do it tomorrow.

Boy, I never thought
he'd pull a stunt like that.

Man, you know it.

Okay. Yeah, I'll see you.

Boy.



Whose move is it?

Wally.

Yeah?

We were in on the short
end of a phone conversation.

Very short.

Oh, it's just that Eddie's
quitting school tomorrow.

Listen, guys,

I still think that Haskell
is just popping off.

Yeah, Eddie comes up
with a lot of squirrelly ideas,

but I don't think he's
really going to quit school.

Look, you guys, he
called me last night

and told me he was
dropping out of school.

He's got his pop's
permission and everything.

Hey, look who's coming.

Short drop-out, huh?

Hey, check, check, check.

Hi, you school boys.

Hi, Eddie.

Hey, you really are cleaning
all the junk out of your locker.

"Natch."

Hey, Eddie, are you
really quitting school?

Yes, sonny, I'm kissing
these ivy halls good-bye.

He sounds like he means it.

Well, sure, I mean it.

I'm blowing this trap.

Oh, now, don't go getting
all misty-eyed on me.

You're the guys
I feel sorry for.

Tomorrow morning I'm starting
to work at Thompson's Garage.

And get this...

I'm going to haul down
a fat 80 bucks a week.

Cash money.

$80?

- A week?
- Wow.

Yeah, and by the time you
clods get out of this joint,

I'll own a chain of garages.

Look me up. I'll put
you on the grease rack.

[bell rings]

Well, ta-ta, kiddies.
Don't be late for school.

- $80.
- A week.

Wow.

Ta-ta.

Wally, all this about Eddie
dropping out of school,

didn't it come up
rather suddenly?

Well, in one way it
was kind of sudden,

but in another way it wasn't.

He's been talking about it
ever since the third grade.

Eddie's had a lot of practice
dropping out of school.

He's been suspended three times.

I can't understand
Eddie doing such a thing,

especially when he was
so close to graduating.

Well, I think things have been
going kind of rough with Eddie.

Like first, he went out
for the basketball team,

and he didn't make it.

And then he went
out for the track team,

and he got cut from the squad.

Isn't Eddie a good runner?

Uh, no, he's kind of clumsy.

As a matter of fact,

he spiked himself
putting his track shoes on.

Well, didn't you tell me

the coach made him
manager of the track team?

[Wally] Yeah, but
he was only manager

until we lost the track
meet with Cleveland High.

The next day, there was
a sweat suit full of towels

hanging from a rope
in the locker room.

And it had Coach
Henderson's name on it.

And the coach
thought Eddie did it?

Yeah, and when
Eddie came in, he said,

"My, my, coach, look what
some fun-loving sport did."

Right then and there, the
coach fired him from the job.

Boy, Dad, you know Eddie's going
to make 80 whole dollars a week.

That's a lot of money, Beaver,

especially for a
boy Eddie's age.

Yeah, now he can buy
his own television set

and look at any
show he wants to.

And when he goes by the
bakery and smells neat stuff,

he can go in and
buy all the junk

that's not good for him.

Gee, now, boys, I'll admit

that $80 sounds
like a lot of money,

and actually, it is, especially
for an inexperienced boy,

but Eddie might
have done a lot better

if he'd stayed in school.

[doorbell]

Oh, hi, guys.

I trust I'm not keeping you
from your homework, junior.

No, come on in.

Hey, how's the new
job going, Eddie?

What do you think?

Get a load of the outfit.

You don't get an outfit
like this with box tops.

And he paid 45
bucks for that jacket.

Yeah. Yeah, that is sharp.

And he paid 16.50 for the shoes.

And 23.75 for the...

Hold the inventory, Mortimer.

Check the leather.

Yeah. Yeah, that is pretty neat.

They're not a pair
of sneakers, Elwood.

Hey, look, Eddie, how
come you got the new outfit?

You haven't been working
long enough to get paid yet.

You school boys are so naive.

Look, chums, when
you're holding down a job,

you have a standing
in the community.

So?

So I opened up an
account. Charged the works.

You mean... You mean
you got all that on credit?

You should've been there.

When the credit
manager checked me out

and found I was making
a fat 80 bucks a week,

the whole joint flipped.

The clerks were tripping
all over each other

trying to be first
to wait on me.

Well, I got to be shoving.

Uh, either of you guys know

a barbershop in town
that has a manicurist?

Knock it off, Eddie.

- Here.
- Hi, dear.

Well, did you finish
all your shopping?

Uh-huh.

I'm all through for the week.

For the week.

Wow, we got off pretty easy.

Backseat and the
trunk are loaded.

Well, I'll get them later.

- Honey?
- Uh-huh?

I ran into Mrs.
Haskell at the store,

and she and
Mr. Haskell are just sick

about Eddie
dropping out of school.

Yeah, I imagine they are.

I suppose they've gone
all through the business

of trying to talk him out of it.

Yes, and it just made it worse.

Eddie just felt they
were picking on him.

Yep, that's Eddie.

I'll bet he thinks
adults were invented

just to push kids around.

You think he'd listen to Wally?

Oh, I have my doubts,

but I suppose if anybody
could get through to him,

Wally would have
the best chance.

Oh, hi, Mom.

Oh, Wally,

your mother and I were
just discussing Eddie

and his dropping out of school.

Yeah?

Do you think there's
anything you could do?

Gee, Dad, nobody could
do anything more for Eddie.

He's doing great.

[horn honks] That's Lumpy.

We're going to go out and
mess around for awhile.

I'll see you.

Hi, Lumpy.

Oh, hi, Wally.

Hey, what do you want to do?

First thing, I got to
get a new fan belt.

Just look at that thing.

Those staples don't
hold up worth a darn.

Hey, I thought you just
got a new fan belt last week.

Oh, I did.

It wasn't exactly a new one.

I got it off that old 1936 heap
in back of the wrecking yard.

Hey, why don't we go

over to the garage
where Eddie's working?

Maybe he'll give me
a break on a new one.

Okay.

Hey, this thing's
sounding better.

Yeah, I put a quart
of oil in this morning.

Where did you get it?

I drained it out
of my father's car.

Eddie. Eddie, just
what are you doing?

Well, I'm cleaning
the air filter

like you told me to,
Mr. Thompson, sir.

I told you to wash it
in kerosene, not water.

I'm sorry, sir.

Where are those spark
plugs I told you to clean

when you came in this morning?

Well, sir, I was trying to get

some grease spots
off my uniform...

Never touched a one of them.

Why I ever thought a kid

could do a man's
job in the first place,

I'll never know.

Boy, is he getting chewed out.

Yeah.

Look, Lump, Eddie's
going to feel awful creepy

if we walk in on him
while he's getting yelled at.

Why don't we just go

to another station
for the fan belt?

Okay.

Mr. Thompson, sir,

I'm sure that if I could...

Look, there's a
customer out front.

Do you think you could
put some gas in the tank

without breaking something?

Yes, sir.

Then get out there and do it.

Hey, what do you say, guys?

Oh, hi, Eddie.
How are you doing?

How am I doing?

Sensational.

[Mr. Thompson] Haskell? Haskell?

Right away, Mr. Thompson, sir.

Poor guy. He's always
getting something fouled up,

and I got to straighten him out.

I'll be right back.

Well, hello, Mr. and
Mrs. Cleaver.

Hello, Eddie. Aren't
you working today?

I had the morning off,
so I thought I'd drop by

and give Wallace a
spin in my convertible.

Oh, is that your car, Eddie?

Well, actually
it isn't mine yet,

but I'm planning on
buying it from my employer.

He's so grateful for the
way I've taken things over

that he wants to do
something really big for me.

He insisted that I try it
out before I make a deal.

That's very considerate of him.

Oh, indeed it is.

Oh, I see I'm
detaining you folks.

Is Wallace at home?

Yes, Eddie, you'll
find him up in his room.

Go right on up, Eddie.

Thank you, sir. Have
a pleasant afternoon.

Thank you.

Well, new clothes, new car.

He's certainly making
dropping out of school

look attractive, isn't he?

Look a little too attractive.

[Wally] Oh, hi, Eddie.

Hi.

Hey, how did you get in?

Your folks. I was just
giving them the low-down

on my new convertible.

Convertible?

What are you talking about?

Take a gander out the window.

Hey, that...

Okay, Eddie, you
better get that car

greased and back to the customer

before you get fired.

Don't get hasty, Gertrude.

I'm buying the car
off of Mr. Thompson.

Now, come on. Time's a-wasting.

We'll go down to the beach,

and when the chicks come
around to ooh and ah at the car,

man, we'll take our pick.

Oh, gee, Eddie, I can't
make it this afternoon.

Okay, so you're broke.

Don't worry about
it. I'll pay the freight.

Oh, no, it's not that.

It's just that the lettermans

are having a jamboree
at school tonight,

and I got to go
over this afternoon

and get all the stuff ready.

Tough.

I guess I'll swing
by and get Lumpy.

Uh, he's not going
to attract any chicks,

but at least he's ballast.

Oh, Lumpy's already at school.

You see, the coach
called an extra practice

for some of the guys
who are on the track team.

Okay, so I'll get Bill and Don.

Bill and Don are
coming by to pick me up.

Hey, what's with you
guys. I'm your old pal.

What are you
running and hiding for?

I got a job, not
the bubonic plague.

We're not running
and hiding, Eddie.

It's just that we've
got things to do.

You were in school
long enough to know that.

Yeah.

Well, look, Eddie,

maybe we can do
something tomorrow, huh?

I got to work tomorrow.

Well, look, Eddie,

maybe next weekend
we can get together.

Oh, no, that's right.
The track team's got

a big triangle
meet-up at Bellport.

Look, we can get
something together.

Yeah, well, I'll see you.

Yeah, I'll see you, Eddie.

Hi, Eddie. Boy, this is
sure a neat car you got.

I was down the street
when you drove up.

Yeah, well, don't go
breathing on the polish job.

Well, I guess when
a guy gets a job,

he can buy all the
junk he wants to.

The works.

With all the dough
you're making,

I'll bet you could buy
ice cream by the barrels.

I could buy out
the whole malt shop

and give it to the poor.

Well, can you go to the
show whenever you want to?

- Every night of the week.
- Boy.

Hey, Beav, you want
to take a little ride?

You mean you're asking me?

Sure.

Where do you want to
go? I got nothing else to do.

Oh, well, gee, I
can't go right now.

Gilbert and Whitey
are coming over,

and we're going to
work on building models.

Maybe some other time.

Are you kidding?

I was just putting you on.

I wouldn't give you
a ride to the hospital

if you broke your arm.

So long, squirt.

Hey, Wally, what's
the matter with you?

Huh?

Well, I just spilled
your hair gook,

and you didn't
hit me or anything.

Oh, well, I don't feel much
like hitting you tonight.

Boy, you must
really feel bad, Wally.

I was just thinking about Eddie.

You know, I think things are
going kind of rough for him.

Yeah, I was kind
of thinking that, too.

You were?

Yeah.

Today he offered
me a ride in his car,

and when I told
him I couldn't go,

he called me a dumb little kid.

But I really think
he wanted me to go.

Yeah. You know something, Beav?

I think Eddie would
like to quit that job

and come back to school.

He's just too chicken to
admit he chickened out.

Yeah, I felt that way once.

I told all the guys in my class

I was going to kiss
Angela Valentine,

and I got so scared,

I pretended I was
sick for two whole days.

Now, what good
could two days do you?

Well, lots of good.

I figured she might croak or
something in the meantime.

Yeah, but at least you
admit you were chicken.

Oh, but not Eddie.

He's not the kind of guy
that will come right out

and admit he'd made a mistake.

Yeah, and he's
not the kind of guy

who has any friends
who'll admit it for him.

No, that's right.

Hey, wait a minute.
Maybe he does.

Of course, Wally, I
remember Eddie Haskell.

Before he dropped out of school,

he practically
lived in my office.

Now, what can I do for you?

Well, Mr. Farmer, you see,

not too many people
know Eddie very well.

He's kind of a
funny guy in a way.

Well, like, for one thing,
he likes to show off a lot.

Craves attention?

Yeah. Yeah, you know,

like the time came
to that ROTC meeting

wearing that German helmet.

We've had our
problems with Eddie,

but never anything too serious,

and we certainly were very upset

over his dropping out of school.

Yeah.

Well, you see,

Eddie kind of hangs
around with a lot of us guys

like... well, like Bill
Scott and myself.

And we're doing okay in school,

and we're making letters

in football and track and
basketball and everything.

With Eddie, it's different.

He never quite cuts it,

if you know what I mean.

Yes, I do know what
you mean, Wally.

But wasn't Eddie
manager of the track team?

Yeah, that's right.

When he went and got
himself kicked of that job...

You know, for hanging the coach.

Well, he didn't really
hang the coach.

He just hung a dummy like him.

I think getting kicked off stuff

is what made Eddie
finally decide to quit school.

There was a feeling on his part

that he wasn't wanted or needed.

Yeah. Yeah, like he was
some sort of a goof ball.

Tell me, do you have
any ideas or suggestions

about what we could
do about Eddie?

Well, I think the best thing
that could happen to the guy

is if he'd come back

and finish school
with the rest of us.

Well, I agree, of course.

But has Eddie said anything

about wanting to
come back to school?

Nah, he'd never
say anything like that.

Eddie's been
bragging it up so big

about his job and everything.

He'd never admit
he'd made a mistake.

Suppose we put him in a position

so it wouldn't appear
that he was crawling back?

Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

Let me look into this,

and see if I can come up
with a good angle on Eddie.

Oh, gee, thanks
a lot, Mr. Farmer.

Hey, you know, you're
a pretty good guy.

It's kind of too bad

you have to be a
principal and everything.

Well, I'll try to bear
up under it, Wally.

Oh, well, I didn't
mean it that way.

What I meant was...
I understand, Wally.

- Eddie?
- Yes, sir?

Let me ask you one thing.

Yes, sir?

Did you finish grade school?

Yes, sir. I just about
finished high school, too.

I guess you never learned

that you can't put
19 gallons of gas

into an 18-gallon tank.

Well, sir, I thought that
the tank held that much.

Yes, sir?

Oh, how do you do, Mr. Farmer?

Hello, Eddie.

- Fill her up?
- Yeah.

Yes, sir.

How does it seem
to be a working man?

Great, sir. Just great.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that.

I've really got it
made, Mr. Farmer.

Good money, excellent
working conditions,

nice boss.

Well, that's very important.

I'm glad to know
you're happy here.

Yes, with my grip
on the business,

I feel that before long, I'll...

[gas spilling]

Uh, it didn't take much, sir.

$2.00.

All right, there you
are, Eddie. $2.00 even.

Thank you, Mr. Farmer.

Well...

Uh, how's everything
going at school?

Oh, fine, fine.

Well, I'll take that back.

I had a little talk with
Coach Henderson.

He's having quite
a little problem.

He is?

I'm sorry to hear that, sir.

Yes, he's had several boys

try out as manager
of the track team.

So far, he hasn't been able

to get anyone to handle the job.

Oh, yeah?

That's the job I had.
It's pretty rugged.

Oh, really?

The way Mr. Henderson
talked, you handled it with ease.

Well, when you're on the ball...

Mr. Henderson said that?

He made quite a point of it.

He did?

Even after I hung
him in the locker room?

Oh, I think he realizes
that was just a joke.

Uh, well, I have
to get back, Eddie.

We're having a rally for
the big track meet tomorrow.

Nice talking with you.

Yes, sir.

Oh, thank you.

Good-bye, Mr. Farmer.

Bye, Eddie.

[Mr. Thompson]
Haskell, get in here!

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

So, you have no idea

whether anything's been
done about Eddie or not, huh?

No, Dad, I guess I
must have messed it up.

That's what you get, Wally,

for going to the
principal's office

without being sent there.

Wally, I think you
did the right thing

by talking to Mr. Farmer.

Yeah, well, I thought
so, too, but I don't know.

I think Eddie's
kind of sore at me.

Well, why do you say that?

Well, last night

is the first night since
Eddie's been working

that he hasn't come around
to show me his new jacket

or shoes or a watch
or a yacht or something.

[horn honks]

Oh, that's Lumpy.
He's picking me up.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

- Bye, Wally.
- Have a good day.

So long, Wally.

Hurry up, Wally.
We're going to be late.

Well, I had to finish breakfast.

[Eddie] Hey, you
guys, wait for me.

- Hi, Eddie.
- Hi, Eddie.

Hey, Lump, how
about a lift to school?

School?

Hey, you mean
you're coming back?

Yeah, what am I going to do?

The principal came in to
the station the other day,

and he started crying

about how much Coach
Henderson needed me.

The next thing you
know, I got trapped.

Boy, that's great, Eddie.

Yeah, you should've been there.

The principal
pleading with me to go.

And Mr. Thompson on his
knees begging me to stay.

And it just broke my heart
to turn the poor fellow down.

What are you going to do?

Yeah, what are you going to do?

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA