Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 22 - Three Boys and a Burro - full transcript

[Announcer] Starring...

and...

Here, boy, here, boy.

Come on, fella. Here, boy.

Here, boy, here, boy.

Come on, fella. Here, boy.

Here, donkey. Come on, donkey.

Richard, he won't come
if you call him a donkey.

He's a burro.

A burro?

Sure. Look at the sign.



I still think he
looks like a donkey.

I think they call donkeys
burros when they're little.

Yeah. When they're grown
up, they call them donkeys.

No, I think they call them
donkeys when they're teenagers,

and then, they call them mules.

Come on, boy. Here, boy.

Here, fella. Here, fella.

Come on, boy. Here, boy.

Here, fella. Here, fella.

Hi, boy.

Hi, fella.

Boy, you're a cute little fella.

Wouldn't it be neat
if we could buy him?

Yeah, but who's got $30?



Yeah, and if any kid
ever saved up $30,

his parents would
take it away from him.

We wouldn't need $30.

We could buy him together,

and that way, it would
only be ten dollars apiece.

Yeah, and if we got him, we
could hitch him to a wagon,

and go around selling rides
and make all the money back.

Yeah. Let's go home
and ask our parents.

Okay. Let's go.

Good-bye, fella.

Don't let anybody else
buy you until we get back.

Hey, Dad, hey, Dad!

Hey, Dad, can I see you?

I got to talk to you right away.

Mom! Hey, Mom!

Mom, I got to see you
about something right away.

Hey, Dad, guess what.

Hi, Wally. Mom...

Well, Beaver, hold
on here. Take it easy.

Hey, Dad, do you want me to give
him a squirt of this to calm him down?

Beaver, what's this all about?

Can I buy a burro? Can I, huh?

A burro?

Boy, Beaver, I thought
you'd at least seen

some guy jump off a
building or something.

Please, Dad and Mom.

Can't I buy it?
Can I buy it, huh?

Look, Beaver, why
don't we go inside

and see if we can't
find out what's going on.

Sure, Beaver.

If you're going to act
like a nutty little kid,

at least do it in the house

where the neighbors
can't see you.

Wally, I think you
might be more useful

if you just stayed out here
and sprayed the plants.

Yeah.

Now, then, Beaver,

what's all this about
wanting to buy a burro?

Well, it's real cute,

and it's for sale for $30,

and I could use the
money Uncle Billy sent me.

Beaver, please.
Slow down a minute.

Okay, Mom, but you see,

we just don't want
anybody to buy him first.

We?

Yeah. Me and Richard are
going to buy him together,

and Gilbert, too.

We all came home
to get permission

to see if we could buy him.

You three are going to
buy this burro together?

Yeah, Mom, and that way, it
will only be ten dollars apiece.

I got the money. I'll show you.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait.

Look, Beaver, I can understand

your being all
excited about this,

but where in the world
would we keep a burro?

Gee, Dad, he's not very big.

Well, maybe a little bit bigger.

He doesn't bark or chase cars,

or meow or any
of that kind of stuff.

I'm sorry, son,

but I'm afraid it's
out of the question.

Ah, gee, Dad.

Hey, Beaver.

That's the guys.

Please, Dad?

Hey, Beav, we can buy him.

Yeah. How about you?

Well, I'm not sure. I'm
still working on them.

Hurry up, Beav.
What are you doing?

I've got the money
and everything.

But they want to know
where we're going to keep him.

At my house. Where do you think?

What are you
talking about, Rich?

We're going to keep
him at my house.

Oh, no, you don't, Gil.

I'm the guy who
saw the burro first.

Yeah, but I've
got a bigger yard.

Like fun you do. Mine's bigger.

You know something.

- What?
- What?

You kids are pathetic.

Hey, Mom, Dad. We don't
have to keep the burro here.

Oh.

Uh-huh. Either Richard or Gilbert
are going to keep it at their house.

So can I buy it with the
guys? Can I, please?

Beaver, are you sure Richard
and Gilbert can keep it?

Sure, Mom. They just told me so.

Please?

Beaver, let's go!

The guys are waiting.

What do you think, June?

Ward, I think it's something
you have to decide.

Beaver, if you're sure we don't
have to keep the animal here.

After all, it is your money.

Gee, thanks a lot, Dad.

You're the neatest
father in the whole world!

I can get it, I can get it.

- Oh, boy!
- Neat!

I'll go up and get my money,
and then we'll go buy him.

Boy, you know something, Beaver.

Dad's really asking
for it this time.

Hey, how come I don't
get to hold the rope?

Yeah. All three of
us guys own him.

Yeah, I know, but I
got to get used to him.

He's going to stay
at my house first.

But after you've had
him a week, I get him.

And after you've had
him a week, I get him back.

Boy, what a dirty gyp.

You guys are going to
have Pepe all the time,

and if I want to see him,

I'm going to have to come
clean over to your house.

Well, that's what you get

for having parents
that hate burros.

Come on, Pepe.

Richard.

Richard, come here
right this minute!

Yeah, Mom?

Look what that animal
did to my flowers.

Gee, Mom, are you
sure Pepe did that?

Those are not my footprints
all over those azalea plants.

I'll tell him never
to do it again.

My beautiful flowers ruined.

Richard, you get rid of
that animal this instant.

Ah, gee, Mom,
Pepe didn't mean it.

He's new here, and once
he gets used to the place...

[Pepe brays]

Oh, no!

Richard!

- Hey, Wally.
- Yeah?

How come Dad's taking
us out to dinner and a show?

I don't know.

I think it's on account
of togetherness

like you read about
in the magazines.

It's supposed to make
us a happy family,

and all that kind of junk.

Couldn't we be a happy
family just eating in the kitchen?

That's no good.

You got to go out and show
people you're a happy family.

I hope there's not a lot
of ladies in the restaurant

like there was last time.

Why not?

Well, I can't eat too well

when there's a lot of
ladies watching me eat.

Hey, Wally, you don't have to put
any of that smelling-good stuff on.

You're only going to
be sitting next to me

in the movies.

Well, what's wrong with me
just smelling good for myself?

Boy, Wally, you're really
going flaky, aren't you?

Here you go, Gilbert.

Gee, thanks, Rich.

But how come you're
giving him to me now?

I got to thinking
how selfish I was.

You know, wanting
him the first week.

Since you're my
best pal and stuff,

I decided you
could have him first.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

What's the matter?

Nothing, except when you ever
get the idea of not being selfish,

I always seem to
get the worst of it.

How can you get
the worst of it, Gil?

You got Pepe. What
more do you want?

Isn't that right, Pepe?

Hi, fella. I sure
hope you like it here.

Sure, he will.

Just let him run around
and get used to the place.

Okay.

How'd your mom like Pepe, Rich?

Well, okay.

Did you show him to her?

Sure, I showed him to her.

Me and Mom were even
running with Pepe in the front yard.

Playing, huh?

Well, Pepe was playing.

I don't know if my mom
was in the game or not.

- [Pepe brays]
- Gilbert!

Gilbert.

Gilbert!

Oh!

Gilbert, look at this mess.

My clean laundry.

I'm sorry, Mom.

You should be.

I want that animal out
of this yard right now.

Ah, Mom, can't I
keep him till tomorrow?

He's just getting used to us.

No. Right now.

Mrs. Bates, can I help
you pick up this stuff?

No, I'll take care of this.

You just help Gilbert
get that beast out of here.

I guess we'll just have to take
him over to your house, Rich.

We can't.

My mom's mad at him, too.

So that's how come you
brought him over here.

Yeah. Why else?

Maybe your mom isn't as
mad at him as my mom is.

I think it's about a tie.

What are we going to do?

I don't know.

Hey, we've got one partner left.

Yeah. Beaver.

He deserves to have him a while.

Come on, Pepe. Come on, boy.

Boys, you better hurry
up, get ready for bed.

It's getting kind of late.

Okay, Mom.

Dad, thanks for the
boughten-out dinner and the show.

I'm glad there were no
ladies watching us eat.

You're welcome, Beaver.

Yeah, we even liked
the show better this time.

Hey, wait a minute.

You mean, you've
seen this show before?

Yeah, Dad.

I saw it with Lumpy and Eddie.

And I saw it with Whitey.

Why didn't you say something?

We didn't want
you to get mad at us

for messing up
your togetherness.

Good night, boys.

Good night, Dad.
Good night, Mom.

- Good night, Mom.
- Night.

[rustling sounds]

Wally. Hey, Wally.

What's the matter, Beav?

I keep hearing stuff.

You're always hearing stuff
in the middle of the night.

No. I think there's something
running around out in the backyard.

Hey, Wally.

There is something down there.

It's an awful big something.

See?

Boy, Beaver, look
at that big dog.

Yeah.

I wonder where he came from.

Search me.

But maybe we better go down
and find out who he belongs to.

Okay.

Hey, you better get your robe.

Why should I put
my robe on for a dog?

Hey, Beaver, look.

That's no dog.
That's your burro.

Pepe!

Hi, Pepe.

Beaver, Mom and Dad said
you couldn't keep the burro here.

How did he get here?

I don't know.

Maybe he got tired at Gilbert's,

and he came over here 'cause
he knows I'm one of his owners.

Oh, sure. And he just
rode over on the bus, huh?

Don't be goofy.

I'll bet you Richard and
Gilbert ditched him here.

Why would they do that?

They love Pepe,

and their mother and father
said they could keep him.

Sure, they love Pepe,

but a burro's a kind of thing

that parents can't
love for very long.

I guess we better go up
and tell Dad that he's here.

I think we better
wait till morning.

This is the kind
of stuff that's better

if he's already awake
when you're telling him.

Yeah.

I remember when
I was a little kid,

I woke up in the
middle of the night

and showed Dad my report card.

Boy, I sure wished
I'd waited till morning.

I'm going to tie
Pepe to the tree

so he doesn't wander off
and get hurt or anything.

There you are, fella.

Don't be afraid. Me and
Wally will be right upstairs.

Don't make any noise and
wake up my mother and father,

if you know what's good for you.

Honey, have you any
idea what that noise it?

No, but there's a
light on in the kitchen.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

What are you boys doing outside

in the middle of the night?

Oh, nothing.

We just thought we
kind of heard something.

Like a dog.

Yeah, a dog.

Would that be the dog
standing right behind you?

Pepe, meet my father and mother.

And when I saw
Pepe in the backyard,

I was surprised, too.

Then it becomes quite
evident what happened.

Either Richard or Gilbert
brought him over here.

Yeah, that's probably
what happened, all right.

Sure, Beav, like I
told you last night.

Richard and Gilbert
ditched him on you.

There's one way
to find out for sure.

Phone them.

Yeah, that's a good idea, Dad.

Well?

Right now?

When you've finished
your breakfast.

Yeah, but I thought
I'd let it settle a little.

Oh, I think it's settled enough.

Yes, sir.

And, Beaver, when you find out

which one of your friends
left the burro in our yard,

tell him he can come right
over and take him back.

Hello, Richard.

Did you put Pepe in our backyard

when we weren't looking?

You and Gilbert?

What did you do that for?

Oh.

Richard's mother
wouldn't let him keep Pepe.

Then you better call Gilbert.

Okay, Dad.

My father wants
me to call Gilbert.

Oh.

Gilbert's mother wouldn't
let him keep it, either.

Let me talk to him.

Okay, Dad.

Hello, Richard.

This is Mr. Cleaver.
Is your father home?

Yes. Yes, I would.

Hello, Mr. Rickover.
Ward Cleaver.

Oh, fine, fine.

Say, about the burro
the boys bought.

It was our understanding that he
was either to be kept at your house

or at the Bates' house.

Yes, yes, I realize that, but...

Oh. Well, if your
wife is hysterical,

I guess there's not
much we can do about it.

Good-bye.

Call Gilbert.

Hey, Dad.

You better watch what
you say to Gilbert's father.

He's a pretty big guy.

Thank you, Wally.

Hello, Gilbert.

Yeah. They found it last night.

Tell him I want to
talk to his father.

He's already on the phone.

As soon as Gilbert said,
"Is this about the burro?"

his dad grabbed the receiver.

Hello, Mr. Bates.

This is Ward Cleaver.

Fine, fine.

Say, Mr. Bates,

about the burro the boys bought,

it was our understanding
that he was to be kept

either over at Richard's house

or at your house, and I...

Oh, you've been over
all that with Mr. Rickover.

Yes, yes. I heard
about his wife.

Mr. Bates, maybe if we all
three got together on this...

- [loud crash]
- Oh, dear!

Boy!

Ward!

Hey, Dad!

I'll have to call you
back, Mr. Bates.

Yes, yes, the burro.

Oh, this is terrible.

Yeah, he's in trouble.

Ward, look, that new
trellis you just put up.

Yeah, Dad, he must have
chewed through the rope.

Poor Pepe. He's scared.

All right, Beaver,
I'll tend to this.

You go round up
your two partners,

bring them back
here, get that animal,

take him back to
where you got him.

Yes, sir.

Come on, Wally.

Guess nobody's home.

I told you that. They've moved.

The sign says "Sold."

I thought it meant
they sold the burro.

Wow, what a stupe.

What are we going to do now?

What can we do?

We got to take Pepe home.

Yeah, but to whose home?

See you, Beav.

Yeah. So long, Beav.

Wait a minute.

Why are you guys
sticking him with me?

Well, you're always saying
what a neat father you got.

Yeah, and now, here's
your chance to prove it.

See you, Beav.

Well, come on, Pepe.

Let's go home
and get hollered at.

I see.

Uh-huh.

Well, he's not very big, sir.

Actually, he's pretty small.

Yeah, real small.

Okay.

Thank you very much, sir.

What did the pet
shop have to say?

First, he was
real nice about it.

But then when I told him

we were trying to
get rid of a burro,

he just started laughing.

June, make a note
of this, will you?

"Beemis Brothers
Children's Circus.

Klondike 5-2342."

That sounds like your best bet.

Yeah. They have
all kinds of ponies

for kids to ride on
and pull carts and stuff.

Hello. This is Mr. Cleaver.

I understand you
operate a children's circus.

Well, fine.

We have a burro that we thought
you might be interested in and...

Oh. I see.

Well, I'm sorry to
have bothered you.

They've given up on burros.

They find that mechanical
rides are a lot less trouble.

Well, that takes care
of the yellow pages.

Only thing left is
the county pound.

Oh, gee, Dad.

You can't call them.

Well, why not?

They do a very good job
of finding homes for pets.

Yeah, but if they didn't
find a home for Pepe...

Gee whiz.

Hi, Mom.

Beaver, how'd you make out?

How'd I make out?

Your father gave you 24
hours to find a home for Pepe.

Oh, yeah.

I asked a lot of guys,

but I never knew so many
kids had creepy parents.

Not one guys' parents
will let him have a burro.

Well, I guess that makes your
father and me creepy parents, too.

Oh, gee, no, Mom.

I didn't mean it that way.

Hi, Mom.

Boy, I'm sure glad
I'm not a burro.

Nobody wants him.

No luck, either, huh?

Nah. I even talked to the coach

about having the
burro for a mascot.

Except we're sort of known
as the Mayfield Bulldogs.

I thought I just heard
the front door open.

Oh, it's okay, Mom.
He's still tied to the tree.

[door closes]

- Hi, dear.
- Hi.

You're home a little early.

Chalk it up to burro time.

And speaking of our friend,

did any of you find
a home for him?

Not me.

Me, neither.

Well, you aren't going to
do anything bad with Pepe,

are you, Dad?

No, I'm not, Beaver,

because I was able to
find a home for Pepe.

Gee, Dad, you did?

Yep. I talked to Norm
March down at the office.

He phoned his brother-in-law
who has a small farm,

and he's going to take Pepe.

That sounds like an ideal place.

Yeah. And now, Pepe will
have something else to play with

besides flowers and
plants and clothes.

That's why I came home early.

He should be coming by to
pick Pepe up any time now.

Oh, and Beaver, I was
able to get $20 for Pepe,

so you can either give Richard
and Gilbert back their $10,

or you can split
it up three ways.

I think I'm going to
split it up three ways.

Under the circumstances,
I don't blame you.

And if Richard and
Gilbert don't like it,

you can holler at
their fathers again.

Hi, Wally.

Hi, Beav.

Hey, did you get the
money deal straightened out

with Gilbert and Richard?

Yeah. We divided
the $20 up between us.

Who got gypped?

You can't divide $20 three ways.

Yeah, it was a mess trying
to figure it out, all right,

so we each just took $6.00.

$6.00? That's only
18. That leaves 2 over.

I know. That's how come
we bought a new baseball bat.

Oh, and now, all three of you

are going to own
the bat together, huh?

Yeah.

Where's the bat now?

It was Gilbert's turn
to play with it first.

Beaver.

Yes, Mom.

Beaver, you know anything
about this broken baseball bat

I found out on the front lawn?

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
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